Season 3 Conclusions: The"When a House Divided finds matches and The Cabin is stocked with gasoline, Ashes to Ashes is the only way to end lucky season number 3" episode

Soap Fiends, we made it!
Season 3's finales left it all out on the table and the wreckage will be sifted through for seasons to  come.  Yeah ok, you had a piro budget , big deal, how did the story hold up.

Does the target on Alexis's back  outshine the a nose dive from a B57? Whose the bigger bully Alexis New Money Old Money Colby or JR baby boy Ewing. Both villians give a master class on how to loos friends and alienate people while the demi villians take matters into their own hands,

Does Sue Ellen's rage match Melissa's scheme?  Is Krystal or Shania-linda the bigger doormat. In the battle of the baby daddy's who would you rather save you Cole, Jeff of Off the meds Adam ?
Which " out of the blue" relative is the most problematic?  East Coast Call girl Terry or  MR. Steal yo girl" Mark Jennings?

Strap in for a riveting journey through the maze of manipulation and power as I, Jett, take you behind the curtain of prime time soap operas' most jaw-dropping season 3 finales. Witness the titanic clash between cunning villains and unsuspecting heroes, where the stakes are as high as the drama. From the ashes of Falcon Crest's springhouse to the unraveling enigma of Alexis and JR Ewing's wickedness, we're crowning the sovereign of scandal and examining the underdog's unexpected rise to the occasion.

Get ready to explore the labyrinthine plots of "Dallas," where every move by JR Ewing sends shockwaves through the canvas of characters. Join me as I dissect pivotal moments like Pam's earth-shattering family revelation and Sue Ellen's fierce battle for independence. We'll revel in the narrative crescendo as JR faces his dramatic downfall, dissecting the intricate storylines that lead to one of television's most enduring cliffhangers. Don't be surprised if you find yourself pulling your slippers closer!

As the embers of Dynasty's and Falcon Crest's finales glow, I'm contemplating the cunning of Philip and the shared spiral into madness that ensnares the sharpest minds from both shows. While the flames consume old legacies, we're left pondering which series wielded their plot twists with the finesse of a maestro. So, join me in my cozy post-pandemic setup as we say goodbye to this season's tumultuous tale and look forward to the next installment of betrayal, love, and ambition in the world of prime time soaps.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Burn it to a crisp Falcon Crest. What about that spring house in the woods? Burn it to a crisp a la flambé. Let's get these things out of the way so that nobody can ever, ever, ever, ever, ever go back to these things and hide out again.

Speaker 1: 0:16

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome, or welcome back to so floor, the official gathering place for newbies, novices and og diehard fans of the golden age of prime time. I'm your host, jed. I can barely contain myself as I'm viewing and reviewing the sopias study is prime time storylines of season 3 finale of three iconic soaps. So, whether you're new to this or true to this, sit back and enjoy. Tell the kids it's time to play outside or out of sight they no questions, suggestions or concerns for the next 25, 35, hell, 45 minutes. Tell everyone else an earshot, be cool, be quiet, because we have got to get down to the bottom of who is the king of Season 3. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is so floor. Welcome back, party people, so queens. We have officially made it Over 70 episodes. We are down to the nitty gritty.

Speaker 1: 1:18

Season 3 finale's left it all out on the table and the wreckage will be sifted through for sure for the next season to come. Does a target on Alexis his back outshine the nose dive from the B57? Who's a bigger bully? A Lexis, new money, old money, colby or JR baby boy Ewing? Both villains gave us a masterclass on how to lose friends and a late people, while the Demi villains took matters into their own hands. The Sue Ellen's rage match Melissa scheming is crystal or Shania Linda, the bigger doormat In the battle of the baby daddy's. Who would you rather save you? Cole, jeff, lance or off the meds Adam? Which out of the blue relative is the most problematic? Is it East Coast, called girl Terry, or mr Steel, your girl, mark Jennings? These are the questions of people. These are the answers to the. We need answers, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for joining me today. I'm just. I'm in my room, my quote-unquote studio is very portable and I feel like every time I sit down to record, one of my neighbors out of the blue wants to move along or Hell, adding a porch to their backyard. Like you didn't come on now. You are not Tim the toolman, taylor, and it didn't really matter to me because I'm getting this out one way or another.

Speaker 1: 2:42

Season three was Delectable. The tertiary season. I have my new theories about this, but we'll get into that next episode. Today we got to talk about these finales. Kaboom, combustible tnt, dynamite, pyrotechnics were everywhere. This seemed to be the theme for season three and, I'll agree, it ran throughout the whole season. Yeah, okay, you had a pyro budget, big deal. How did the story hold up? We're gonna get into that right away.

Speaker 1: 3:11

Grab yourself something delectable, go ahead, make a little snacky poo, put on your favorite slippers. Just FYI, nobody asked. I think I'll take pictures today cuz I feel like it. I Am on my. I really don't give a damn day. Have on. I have on some joggers that are a relic from COVID, a random Western wear Top that is very warm, leperate slippers, and I haven't been happier all year. Happy new year, by the way, guys. We have an exciting year ahead of us. I can't hardly wear a lot to do today, but we're gonna talk about this first and foremost.

Speaker 1: 3:52

Season three finale. Who is the king? Who did their team for the vintage prime time soap operas? Oh, alright, y'all. I've got my notebook. I've got the notes. Season threes in the can. How did the finale stack up against each other? I don't want to do that right away. I think we need to just kind of sit and relax in the glory and honor and wonderful things that are. Each episode by themselves, each Excuse me, each Series by themselves.

Speaker 1: 4:24

Starting off with Falcon Crest, I have been singing its praises since the beginning. You know they're gonna hit you with that decadent Layered it's a seven layer dip. Every single time. No scene, no relationship, no blow-up is ever, ever wasted and although they took a little longer to get where they needed to go, the finale was well worth it. Wasn't sure what I thought. I thought, walking into what I'm thinking. Okay, after the last episode where we saw the cabin go up in flames, it's kind of funny that they burn the relics from season one just like dynasty, out of nowhere. It's like oh, what about that cabin in the woods? Burn it to a crisp. Falcon Crest, what about that spring house in the woods? Burn it to a crisp. A la flambe. Let's get these things out of the way so nobody can ever, ever, ever, never, ever go back to these things and hide out again.

Speaker 1: 5:13

I Don't know what I was expecting, I think I thought Julia would pop up and Reprise her role as a normal girl with amnesia. I'm still not giving that part up because it just makes sense. It's a spring house they clearly discovered. I, of course, one night, when I relay this back to you, I'll leave out a few details so that you guys can enjoy it for yourselves. But when the police were digging through the wreckage to see if they could find a body or just remnants of a body, just that they can declare her deceased, they definitely found a like a well, and the conversation went a little something like this like well, could someone have crawled down in there? Like no, no, the fire would have immediately extracted all of the oxygen out of the well. There's no way anybody could survive. I think yeah, okay, okay, we'll see. But this episode we found everyone at Falcon Press very sad, very somber, reeling over the her death, remembering her as she was before she snapped and killed 2.5 people.

Speaker 1: 6:14

Chase was very lucky as you were caught the beginning of season three. He made a triumphant recovery, complete with a rocky five sequence where he was sweating profusely, sweating out that perm. Because this is a thing, let's go ahead and bring it up. I'm not petty, but you know, whatever, I have kinky, curly hair. I know what it takes to straighten your hair. Anybody with wavy curls. You know what I'm saying. You don't just straighten your hair and it's fine for two or three days or even a day. Any sort of elements, any moisture in there, anything is going to wreck that. So he had a super curly fro during this sequence. He's sweating profusely, he's, you know, he's covered in glycerin. He's gonna get the use of his legs back and he didn't. He did it looking like one of the guys from Miami Vice and that all white outfit.

Speaker 1: 7:02

I kind of forget the reason he was in court, but I do remember him standing up. It was triumphant. He was two point. He was the point five of Julia's victims. He didn't succumb to the bullet. But Forget all that. Nobody wants to think about that. We want to think about Julia when she was at meek mouse wimp of a lady who spent 90% of her time holed up in the winery doing wine science stuff that I'm not gonna pretend to understand. It was so wonderful to see that and I just kind of made me think.

Speaker 1: 7:31

I'm like, if I'm gonna name all of these episodes, if I could compare them to something Falcon Christ reminds me. If you're in school, there's like that overachiever, you know the teacher says write an essay, three paragraphs. They'll only need to be five sentences, by the way, I don't play that. I'm like kids, my kids. You're writing nine to ten. There's no such thing as a Three sentence paragraph. But anyway, falcon Christ fills the same way, because they're like we're not just going to make 24 episodes, we're gonna make 28 episodes and we're going to loop everything together. No loose, and the only loose ends we have are the loose ends that'll tie us into the next season. And they did it so perfectly. So brief recap Julia's dead allegedly. There is a note found in baby Joseph's pocket by Cole. It reveals Julia's last wishes as far as being buried in Tuscany. So now we have a full cast, aka family trip to Tuscany Valley in Italy To sprinkle her ashes over the mountains because she wants to be with her ancestors. Allah kill monger from Black Panther.

Speaker 1: 8:40

Lance is dealing with this in all the right ways, in my opinion. He's getting drunk, he's having fist fights in the bar and Angel's like you know what. Let him stay his little narrow behind in Jail so that he can understand the consequences of his ways. He does just that and we have a scene that I didn't mention. And I'm trying to, I'm trying to be respectful Falcon fiends in particular. Hear me out. Okay, hear me out. When I love something, I love something. But that doesn't mean I don't have a critique. I have a critique.

Speaker 1: 9:14

We all know that Lance, aka Lorenzo Lomis, double L, is not known for his acting chops. He's known for his karate chops. He's known for mild pork chops, sideburns. He ain't known for the magtons shots, but I will. I will say this he was alright.

Speaker 1: 9:33

There was a scene in jail where he was crying and I was like, oh my god, just make it short, just make it short, just make it short. He talks for more than 30 seconds. It's gonna be a wrap, but he got through it. He cried and he confessed to the camera and everyone that, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. It was beautiful. I mean, his chest was glistening. So it's like if you were caught up on the acting, you could just kind of let your eyes just slowly drift down to the glycerin tan, tall, broad, very capable chest. It's probably you know. Anyway, what are you, god, you're making weird. Why are we talking about this? Cry, cry, cry. He's the only person who cries in the family because apparently Angela doesn't cry and neither does Emma.

Speaker 1: 10:16

Everyone is dealing with this in their own way. Dr Cousins, you gotta come to on the trip because and this is I love when they do this on a show, I love when they give everyone on the show a reason to suddenly be in one place and this whole episode's around everyone being on a plane so they can go to Julius funeral. So Dr Cousins has to come because Maggie has that brain tumor that was lasically slash, cryogenically slash, microscopically removed, and he just needs to be there in case she passes out. Aunt Terry needs to come because she's Uncle Cousins. Michael's wife Chase needs to come because he's relative. Cole and his family get to come because their relatives. Phillip gets to come because he's newly minted into the family and everyone else needs to be there. Richard volunteers his whole plane because that's his sister. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 11:07

So every single person is accounted for, except bad girl Melly Mel. But bad girl Melly Mel has surprised me and she has redeemed herself in my eyes because she remembers her focus. She's still a bad girl. Don't let the tears fool you, don't let the modesty fool you. Baby girl has a plan and that plan is falling into place better than she could have ever hoped for. Cole is destroying his own marriage over the just pure distress he's been under over baby Joseph.

Speaker 1: 11:37

But she's I mean, she knows that she sees an opening and she takes it. She sees an opportunity and she takes it. She doesn't have to flaunt silk sheets in front of her. I'm just so trifling. We'll talk about that on the next episode. But she doesn't have to flaunt any things. She's just like hey, you guys are great parents, can I come see my son? She's following all the rules and she's letting the chips fall where they may within their marriage. But at the end of the episode, what do we see? We see the plane, the B-57. I don't actually know planes, I'm just naming something. It goes down over Omaha or something. Hopefully it's over the Midwest. It could be in the Rockies. I feel like it might have been the Rockies. That would suck because there's not gonna be any recovery.

Speaker 1: 12:19

This particular scene was not on this episode, but it has lived rent-free in my head for the past couple weeks. I have to talk about the boho-hobo who was living in the Spring House. Shout out to Ambition. This guy was simply milling about, found, happened upon a little house where no one was living. It was clearly that it was not in heavy use. He sits there and he gets found out after having a bottle of booze by Chase Cole and Sheriff no name, who is not important enough for me to remember, and all the guy wants is like I'm freezing and I'm starving. Can I just chill here? Can I go to jail? Actually, that was his cardinal mistake.

Speaker 1: 13:04

I thought about this long and hard. I've even dreamt about it. I was like he should have slapped one of them we're at the very least stole the cop car, and then he would have had a warm place to stay in, a hot meal and a misdemeanor. You know what I'm saying. They were gonna let him go, but instead he was turned away. They were like, absolutely. Are you a serial killer? No, are you a kidnapper? No. Have you shot more than three people in the last two months? No, no, I just. I'm just starving and hungry. Can I have a place to stay? Absolutely not. This place is for criminals. Try the next town, tuscany Plateau. How rude, of course we know the whole episode ends in a plane spiraling to the ground Not quite the explosion, I don't know how to deal with this.

Speaker 1: 13:51

It's almost as if episode 27 and episode 28 were congealed together, but so is every episode of Falcon Crest. There was an explosion there. There was an explosion on episode 25. And then there was a plane crash, boom, boom. How let's get to Dallas?

Speaker 1: 14:08

If Falcon Crest is the overachieving students who writes the 15-page essay when you only needed two, then Dallas is that fly by the seat of the pants. Reckless jock, no pun intended, who you can't keep your eyes off of. You love to hate. There's nothing about this show that doesn't entice you. There's not an episode, no matter how mundane, no matter who it's about. There's not an episode of this show that I wasn't 150% invested in, from the giddy up and nine times out of ten. It is because the one and only JRU and granted he was, let me be very clear. This episode surrounded him. There were other things happening. He's always the star, but I'm not saying he carried the show completely.

Speaker 1: 14:51

Brief little recap here Pammy. Pam is on a mission after she found out that Digger Barnes isn't her deadbeat dad, but another deadbeat turned out to be her dad, deadbeat that was so deadbeat, in fact, that nobody has looked for him in the past 20, 25, 35 years. Anyone know how long this man's been dead. All they know is that he's gone and Digger Barnes allegedly kills him. Now JR has managed to solve his family's immediate crisis, which was going to be. They were going to lose all their money from these foreign oil wells, but he pulled the Okie Doke. As he often does. He played the sleazy, slimy friend. This is the thing that gets me. Let me finish my sentence, sir. He played the sleazy, slimy friend and he Okie Doke his way into an even greater deal than the foreign oil wells by robbing essentially not robbing, but omitting 97.2% of the truth concerning these foreign oil wells with a cartel that turned their back on him Dare, I say it, they were not his friends.

Speaker 1: 15:51

Cliff Barnes has done his due diligence and secured signatures. He's authenticated a piece of paper that he found in his great auntie's attic, discovered that he and Pammy Pam should have been receiving royalties from Ewing Well, number 2627. I've probably said a different number every time. Does it matter? Don't matter at all, because JR shut that itch down immediately in their face. Sue Ellen has had it up to here and she's deciding. You know what. I'm gonna take care of me. If nobody else does, I'm gonna take care of me.

Speaker 1: 16:25

Bobby is absolutely and utterly disgusted when he confronts JR for shutting down that. Well, that Side note would have been putting more money in his pockets. You ever thought about that? He's married to Pam, pam on tax. Ewing plus barns, ewing equals a hundred percent of whatever. This was a win-win-win win for him, but he's all. He's mad. Daddy. How dare you let this fool? I thought I was supposed to watch him, dad. I thought I was supposed to be, I thought I was doing you a favor, man. I remember when I just wanted to ride wild horses, but no, you want me to be a big oil man. Now I'm doing my job using the. Let him do whatever. And Jock said, yeah, yeah, boy, that, yeah, I would have done the same thing. Bob is disgusted and Finally, after 25 plus years, he's like you know what?

Speaker 1: 17:14

I Am a responsible, adult male with a responsible adult wife. I could probably afford to live in 1978, 1979, dallas, on a pretty penny, as his mother very casually pointed out when she wanted to destroy no, what, she wanted to save a park and not make people homeless that these people were making 25k a year. He's clearly making more than 25k. And so it's Pam, because she has that job at the store where Philip the lawyer also Rends it, as Mr Store, remember. So he finally hits him like Latina did Ike in the back of the limo. It finally hits him. He's like oh, I don't have to live here anymore, I want out, out, out. But it all comes to a head when, after JR has pissed off, he's pissed off the cartel, he's pissed off his mama by getting rid of her favorite son the plural. All her kids are gone because of him. So all in is about to be put into an insane asylum.

Speaker 1: 18:13

Kristen that's the part I left out. Kristen has hooked up with euphoria, aka Alan Bean, and they've devised a scheme. Only she was sloppy. Then she was found out. So then JR has her named as a prostitute. She's got 24 hours to get the hell out of town, where she's got to start sleeping with this old man, which is horrible. Alan Bean is accused being rabies when he's not. It's a horrible, no good, very bad, awful day for anyone who is not JR, aka John Ewing the second.

Speaker 1: 18:45

So by the end of the episode JR is in his office and he's got that kind of cool, casual, knowing that a sleazebag has, because he understands human nature better than most people. You may hate me, but, to quote charay Whitfield, who don't check me? Boo, I've okie-dokie, my mom, my dad, my brother, my wife, my niece, my side chick, my do-dirt dude, my Cartel dudes, all of my secretaries, the bank loan guy, a guy overseas, some rando kid in Waco, texas. Who's gonna check me? Well, somebody did. Somebody locked and loaded a couple pistols and blah blah Got him right in the gut.

Speaker 1: 19:35

We all know this to be one of the most iconic episodes ever and ever, but it was a really good end. I will say this I can't remember if season 2 was this way. I always feel like Dallas reminds me of shuffling hearts or shuffling dominoes. Now they may not talk of, they may talk about something, and then they, let's say episode 3. They bring up the silk curtains that appeared out of nowhere. They might not bring them back up to episode 17, but they tend to come all the way back around and they give you just enough time to forget about it in the meantime. In between time, it was wonderful, although there wasn't an explosive. I think we can technically count two gunshots as an explosive. There's, it's minor, but it exploded in pop history. So good, so good for so many reasons because we all knew it was coming to it.

Speaker 1: 20:24

Now, this episode JR was extremely douchey. He was extremely unbearable for all the right reasons, but he had been building up to this. I love that it didn't just come out of anywhere, because sometimes, when you want to soap opera day or night, y'all know what I'm saying sometimes that a love triangle comes out of nowhere, or just like an Obstacle comes out of nowhere. I mean, why would they be fighting? These people don't even look at each other. These people don't even look at each other. This was not so. It has been building up, it has been compounding upon itself Over and over and it ended in the best possible way. Tends across the board for that episode.

Speaker 1: 21:02

I don't really understand why they threw this tidbit in, but Lucy Lou, the North Texas Lolita, has struck again. After she has cut off again, what was? She's gonna get married to someone I can't even remember who that went for a plunk After she slept with her guys. She is falling in love with yet another unavailable man, ie, her professor, her writing professor. She thinks he hung the moon and she's starting to wonder. She's starting to get a little bit suspicious when he doesn't want to hang out with her and I'm like baby, you gotta know, when you're a side chick, at least crit. Well, well, well, dare.

Speaker 1: 21:40

I say it none of the bad girls club have been Particularly efficient at being the side chick, but in this case Lucy's not putting two and two together. Why would your professor flaunt his relationship with you while you're his student? Although you're 18, you're in college. It shouldn't make a difference. It definitely makes a difference in here in the class. Whatever, the optics aren't great, but it doesn't matter, because homeboy blows her off and then he gets on the phone and he's like hi, honey, how was blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah for the day?

Speaker 1: 22:12

Yet again, another wasted opportunity for Lucy. I just don't understand why they don't understand what to do with her on the show. I don't get it If Falcon Cress is the overachieving, over-the-top student who's well dressed, by the way and Dallas is the fly-by-to-the-seed-of-your-pants, unpredictable jock, and Dynasty is the unapologetically pretty little thing with an unexpected razor-sharp tongue and with an impeccable, albeit mildly unintentional, comedic timing. Dynasty is that chick Not gonna win every contest. She's not the brightest, she's not the strongest, she's not the fastest. But you know what All eyes on Dynasty when Dynasty is on, and there was no exception for the season finale. How you do anything is how you do everything. Dynasty has that same shuffle effect within their storyline, although I'm starting to see where they don't always connect the pieces all the time. It seems like sometimes they might start something and then halfway through they'll just flip it for no reason.

Speaker 1: 23:18

Case and point the Alexis Blake Love Story. When she came out on season two she was allegedly a wife who still had a flame torch for this guy. That didn't make sense, considering he beat her lover, which she found on her own, half to death. She's been gallivanting across the globe with new men. Why would Blake Harrington, who was by far not the biggest fish in the spawned, why would he be on her radar? It just never really makes sense to me, and they tried to twinkle it up a little bit on this episode, but she quickly. I don't know. That's the thing I love about Alexis. You can't tell if she's joking. It seems like she's just having a good time. She strikes me as the Heath Ledger version of the Joker, where you're just doing things because you can. You don't necessarily have a plan all the way through. You just want to see what happens, which makes it so much more fun. All right, let's recap this a little bit.

Speaker 1: 24:09

Alexis woke up and chose chaos. Actually, she didn't wake up and choose chaos. She didn't wake up and choose violence. She woke up and chose indifference. Let the record show that everyone who came to her had a beef with her. She didn't really even know. It seemed like she didn't remember half of them.

Speaker 1: 24:26

Okay, so let's just run it back. Let's see what she did. She's ever the schemer. She definitely threatened Adam because she thought he called his brother a bad name, threatened to take him out of the will. She scoffed at the PI whose pocket she had lined for the past month or two, the one who's been doing all her do-dirt work. When he came with her and asking for $40,000 because of his gambling debt Rightfully so I felt like that was a normal reaction.

Speaker 1: 24:49

Why would I pay you? You were paid for the work you did for me. Why would I then invest into your demise? Can't do it. She didn't have to read him for filth about his outfit, even though it was hideous, but she did. She woke up and decided I really have no time I will suffer not one fool today. She ruined Senator Pito's life, however, let the record show. She warned him. She gave him ample opportunity to back up, back up, because it was going to be on, but he didn't heed her warning. Now he's drunk, threatening to choke her out again.

Speaker 1: 25:24

But I'm like, hey, so far, so good to me, with the exception of Adam, who she just assumed he said something that he didn't. She's not wrong so far. Oh, joseph, this is my favorite catty moment of the entire episode. He didn't seem like he's one to mess with. I just tend to think that people who are very calm in their delivery, if you walk into a room and someone's like I'm gonna kill you, and they're swinging their kicking tables over, they're probably I mean, they might want to slap you. I don't think they want to kill you. But if someone calmly says, you know, here's dinner, here's a butter duck with hors d'oeuvres and I'm also going to slit your throat later this evening, I'm going to believe them. That sounds like a made up mind to me and I want absolutely no smoke with that man. Who else? Oh, markey Mark also paid her a visit this day, deciding that he wants her.

Speaker 1: 26:22

This, the audacity. For me is one thing to be a baddie, but just because you're a mustachioed, greasy baddie who teaches tennis does not mean that you can rewrite history. Sir, he wanted Alexis to accompany him over to La Mirage, to knock on Fallon's door while she's trying to conduct business and say, hey, I made up that whole thing. I slipped into Mark's bed, true, but as we all know, two things can be true at once. I also slipped into his bed that one time, yes, that day. But also he bought me a bumblebee pendant and I've been in his bed before, probably the same day he tried to buy you something. That's all I'm saying. You can't. You can't run up on somebody with gusto, knowing that you have dirt too. How dare you ask her to rewrite history? Because I mean, technically, she's not lying, she just wasn't true that time. But it is what it is. So, for all intents and purposes, I feel like Alexis has been wrongly accused this day, but everybody seems to have the conviction to get rid of her in some capacity.

Speaker 1: 27:27

On this day, in other news, adam convinces the doctor to lie about his diagnosis. Well, not only lie about that. Like hey, tell Fallon that you mixed this up. Old man, you forgot that? I didn't do that. That wasn't my first case. My first case was about oil. I don't really remember, just seem. Whatever, it doesn't matter. I trust Adam psychosis enough to know that he's going to pull through, pull off something really magnificent.

Speaker 1: 27:52

Kirby Curb finds out that her baby daddy isn't her long lost, the love of her life she's been pining for since she's 12 years old, the impeccably coiffed Jeff Colby. No, unfortunately, your child might have a mental condition because your baby is a freaking Carrington, which is possibly the worst news you'd ever heard. So after all these things are presented to the audience, alexis is bored and decides she's going to call over Crystal. Crystal, meet me in the forest at a very secluded location where I can talk to you about Stephen. He'll meet us there. Only Stephen's out visiting Claudia the Stallion. He comes home just in the nick of time to watch his father trying to kick out his roommate not his boyfriend, just his roommate.

Speaker 1: 28:35

Blake then decides that he is that dude, he's been the best father he's going to take over, which is funny to me because it's like Blake, you have a whole murder under your belt. What makes you think you don't even know your kids? All your kids hate you, except for Fallon, who is weirdly obsessed with him. But you really think you're going to be a better father to him? The same maids and housekeepers and major domos that raised Stephen are going to raise that kid. So if you believe it's in the way he was raised, perhaps you can look at yourself. But he doesn't do that. He's like no, no, no, no, no, fine, I'll get out, so you don't kill me, but this isn't the end of it.

Speaker 1: 29:11

Crystal's boring and I refuse to talk about her. And oh, oh, lies, I have to talk about her because of the cabin burning to a crisp. They get into a brief little argument. Alexis tries to write a check. Crystal's like girl bye, I'm gonna milk the money off of Blake duh. And then all of a sudden they are up in flames, passing out left and right. Because that's what you do on a cliffhanger. If Don doesn't see them do anything right, they're gonna show up pretty, they're gonna change the story, they're gonna pancake flip that story. I'm in love with you, oh, no, no, no. Now I'm in love with you. They're gonna do that in a heartbeat and they're gonna leave us on a cliffhanger, baby, regardless of what anyone else wants. So I'm not surprised that this is how this one ends.

Speaker 1: 30:03

I had all but forgotten Stephen's cabin was so insignificant. He literally only went to it that one time that I can remember, and that's when Claudia the Stallion showed up and they slept together. I'm like Stephen has taken down half of the female cast on the show already. The writers don't understand how to write him, but do you? All's well and ends well. Dynasty is gorgeous. They went up with a diehard though. You ever seen Diehard or what's the other one? What's that movie with the Baldwin? They're firefighters. I think it's Backdraft. It's like a backdraft type fire and I was thinking like, wow, they went. This is the difference.

Speaker 1: 30:43

On Falcon Crest, they decided to get rid of a season one relic, which was the spring house, so you had a sniper shoot a kerosene lamp, things go up in flames and it progressed pretty slowly. There was enough time for Lance to leap over the banister to grab his grandma, to run back and grab his mom to faint, to have David or Donus run back in and save him, and then the whole thing went down in flames. Whereas on Dynasty, while Crystal and Alexis are having their little argument, inside, someone is thoroughly saturating every piece of wood with gasoline. They must have bought two or three cans of gasoline and they took their time. They walked around the entire perimeter, burned everything. They took the time to cut the pipes for the water. They took the time to barricade all the doors. It was like I'm gonna make sure whoever is in here is dead, dead, dead. Nobody's walking around, but this is how I can help it.

Speaker 1: 31:39

It was just a different turn of events, very vicious, very malicious, but was it enough to be the best? Let's go ahead. And and I already said this last week wasn't the best, not for lack of trying. This episode was very fun to watch. It's always fun for me to watch Adam and Kirby and Jeff, but again, it's always the bit players who carry it with Alexis and nothing changed on this. It was wonderful, it was fun to watch, it was the prettiest, but not the best. Congratulations for being the third best season three finale dynasty. I gotta be honest, I can't really decide who was the very best.

Speaker 1: 32:24

Dallas and Falconcrest have been superb also, even long, and I can't help but notice the overlap here. We've got the antagonists. It has a list of people who want them dead, with both Alexis and JR, and I already said Dynasty was out of it. But just just hear me out. Alexis and JR had the exact same storyline this episode they woke up. Well, dallas was that he had screwed people over the day before, so they all wanted him dead on this day, with the exception of a few people who'd wanted him dead a couple days before that. But with Alexis, she had been pissing people off slowly and methodically all season. They all wanted her dead on this day.

Speaker 1: 33:05

We also have the kind of storyline of the shady spouse on Falconcrest and on Dallas, jr being the very shady spouse who wants to put his wife back in the sanatorium for absolutely no reason other than the fact that he's tired of looking at her. He was gonna drag her sister into it a little bit more. He's never gonna marry her, but he's just kind of tired of looking at her and for no other reason. Let's go ahead and get you locked up so it solidifies you as a complete and total nut for the foreseeable future. On Falconcrest, you got Lance and Melissa, whose marriage has been doomed from the beginning. Now I don't really know how that's gonna go Now that it seems like she's going to be okey-doke into singing at Falconcrest a little bit longer.

Speaker 1: 33:43

And then there's a whole business of Philip. I don't trust him as far as I can throw him. You don't take down the woman you quote unquote love the day before or the month before by stealing all of her business, making sure she's written out of her own will, and then suddenly you wanna profess your love to her in front of God and everybody so you can be her equal. I feel the way about that. The roof, the roof. The roof is on fire.

Speaker 1: 34:08

Dynasty and Falconcrest decided that relics from season one had to go. Little known name buildings that none of us and I do mean none of us have thought about since season one have gone up in flames with people trapped inside, major players trapped inside. It's a great way to end the season, although let me just reiterate one more time Falconcrest that was episode 27. Not the finale. But I just don't see how you couldn't lump all of the last two or three episodes as the finale and I just don't see how you could do that.

Speaker 1: 34:41

Then there's a business of the bright person gone loco, which would be Julia from Falconcrest and Adam from Dynasty. Very bright, very brilliant. We've seen them work their magic, but they are slowly but surely and methodically going cuckoo-loo day by day. It's fun to see, although now looks like Julia's completely off the show, as far as we know. I don't know that, I don't believe that, but what will happen with Adam? Very parallel, especially considering Dynasty and Falconcrest were running at the same time.

Speaker 1: 35:14

This is the same season, so this is the same storyline. You feel me Also with Dynasty and Falconcrest? They both burn the same building. Same season, same storyline. It's been a very interesting season altogether, but I couldn't help but notice how much they overlapped. If you just erased all the names, it's kind of the same story.

Speaker 1: 35:33

The only exception is that, well, there's not really one. As a novice to the nighttime soap opera, I'm gonna finally just this is the one time I can't pick who did it better. I don't think I can actually pick until I've watched the premiere for Dallas or Falconcrest. I have no clue. They both ended with a bang, they both built up with a bang and I just I don't know. I think season four is gonna have a whole lot more in store for us, more than I can even handle. So it was just all good and see how this all transpires at the beginning of season four. In the meantime, or in the meantime, take care of yourself. Kind to yourself, because you deserve it. Mind your own business, stay hydrated and moisturize, and keep all of your drama on TV.