Do you ever find yourself lost in the labyrinth of classic TV drama, longing for the cunning twists of 'Dynasty' or the sly dealings in 'Dallas'? Prepare to be whisked back to the high-octane world of prime-time soaps as we dissect the pivotal third seasons that set the stage for television's most devious characters. From the evolution of writing that kept us on the edge of our seats to personal anecdotes that bond us with these narratives, this episode is your ticket to the glory days of shoulder pads and power plays.
Strap in for a trip down memory lane where super villains wore power suits and scheming was an art form. We're talking about the magnetic allure of J.R. Ewing's ruthless machinations and Alexis Carrington's glamorous manipulations—characters that were as complex as they were captivating. It's more than just a reflection; it's an homage to the cultural impact these characters left on us, enveloped in the personal stories that turn listeners into an extended family of nostalgia enthusiasts.
The stage is brimming with unsung heroes and players you might have overlooked—those bit characters whose quirky roles were pivotal in the grand tapestry of our favorite soaps. Hear my take on how these characters, like the ever-eccentric Richard and the enigmatic Adam, evolved from their humble beginnings to the spotlight. We'll wrap up with a look at the ruthless and sexy storylines that made season three of each series a must-watch, proving that in the world of soap operas, it's the bold narratives that reign supreme. Join me on Soap Lore, where we celebrate the shows that taught us the art of indulgence.
If you love Soaplore, check out
Televisionofyore.com for a blow by blow recap of iconic t.v
Join the Vintage Primetime Soap Opera Social Club on FB
Do you ever find yourself lost in the labyrinth of classic TV drama, longing for the cunning twists of 'Dynasty' or the sly dealings in 'Dallas'? Prepare to be whisked back to the high-octane world of prime-time soaps as we dissect the pivotal third seasons that set the stage for television's most devious characters. From the evolution of writing that kept us on the edge of our seats to personal anecdotes that bond us with these narratives, this episode is your ticket to the glory days of shoulder pads and power plays.
Strap in for a trip down memory lane where super villains wore power suits and scheming was an art form. We're talking about the magnetic allure of J.R. Ewing's ruthless machinations and Alexis Carrington's glamorous manipulations—characters that were as complex as they were captivating. It's more than just a reflection; it's an homage to the cultural impact these characters left on us, enveloped in the personal stories that turn listeners into an extended family of nostalgia enthusiasts.
The stage is brimming with unsung heroes and players you might have overlooked—those bit characters whose quirky roles were pivotal in the grand tapestry of our favorite soaps. Hear my take on how these characters, like the ever-eccentric Richard and the enigmatic Adam, evolved from their humble beginnings to the spotlight. We'll wrap up with a look at the ruthless and sexy storylines that made season three of each series a must-watch, proving that in the world of soap operas, it's the bold narratives that reign supreme. Join me on Soap Lore, where we celebrate the shows that taught us the art of indulgence.
If you love Soaplore, check out
Televisionofyore.com for a blow by blow recap of iconic t.v
Join the Vintage Primetime Soap Opera Social Club on FB
I will paint poison on your walls and watch you inhale and lose your frickin mind. If you ever cross me, try me and see what I do. He's a good guy. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome. And welcome back to SoFloor, the official gathering place for newbies, novices and OG diehard fans of the Golden Age of prime time. I'm your host, jet, who's viewed and reviewed all of season 3 of Dynasty, dallas and Falcon Crest. We've learned things, we've lost things, but one thing we know for sure is that shiny, nasty people and super sex appeal is what you need to have a successful season 3. So, whether you're new to this or true to this, sit back and enjoy Tell Bay. No questions, suggestions or concerns for the next 25-35 health, 45 minutes. When else? An air shot, be cool, be quiet, or you will be kicked out because we are discussing the magnificence of a tertiary season. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is SoFloor. Hello, gorgeous, welcome back. Party people. It's another fun full edition of SoFloor, but we better do the season 3 once and for all. Of course, I'm going to reference them back because I have to. This one was really good.
Speaker 1:I think the third season of any series is probably that breath of just not breath of fresh air, but you're able to relax a little bit into it. I imagine the first season. You don't know if it's going to be picked up, so you're trying to figure out who your characters are, what the stories need to be, how do we build enough interest and action to keep people interested, and then how do we leave enough space for these characters to grow. It's an interesting little dance. Writing for television not that I would know, but you know a TV kid consumed enough over the years. I hope your day is shaping up pretty well. Just adult to adult. There's little kids watching. It's fine. This time I forgot to tell the kids to play outside or out of state, but they know the drill by this point. It is what it is.
Speaker 1:I have waited my whole life to be an adult, and by that I mean as a little kid. I used to put on my aunt slippers. My aunt, who loved nox landing. I would put on her shoes. She would allow me to do her hair. She was so sweet. Put on makeup. You know how to good time.
Speaker 1:I didn't want to be like a little kid who was forced to go play outside. Go sit in the corner. I'm not here to push that relic, but as an adult. I wanted to be an adult because it's like I can do whatever I want. Totally didn't think about that whole having to like support yourself with work and whatnot. I don't mind working, I actually enjoy it.
Speaker 1:But there's something to be said about adulting and realizing that summer doesn't really mean anything to you. Summer is just a word, it's just what. Other people don't have to go to school, but you still go. Your daily routine doesn't change. And there's something to be said about taking an extended break.
Speaker 1:I took a little winter break and it was so good. It was just relaxing. It was wonderful. I got to slowly take care of a few things that I needed to take care of on house. But I tell you what there's as good as a vacation was. Those first few days back are like oof, why do I do this? But it's a small price to pay to be able to tell other people to go play outside or out of sight. No, I don't tell them that I might actually just in the other room doing whatever they want to do.
Speaker 1:I'm really grateful that we live in the era that we do. We don't all share one television. Of course, I don't watch television all day, so this is why it's just kind of a treat to sit back and review these shows for you and get a little feedback. It's been a lot of fun. Okay, enough of that, let's get to the get in season three. I went back and I listened to my first two reviews of season one and the review of season two. I realized a couple of different things. My thoughts on most of these shows hasn't changed drastically, but the characters have developed in a way of didn't see coming. I don't know, going forward, if it's going to be worth making predictions. I think by the time you're at the third season it's a different ball game.
Speaker 1:Season one. You don't know who's watching, with the exception of Dallas. The other two shows, dynasty and Falcon Crest, already had a blueprint to sort of follow. So their challenge seemed to have been to produce a show that could stand up to or follow Dallas. I have to look this up really quick. I do believe that Falcon Crest came on after Dallas. I want to say they were on the same network, but I'll have to double check that. Okay, yeah, that was right.
Speaker 1:Falcon Crest followed Dallas on CBS and it's like that kind of unlocked a memory I had. I'm at my aunt's house in her living room with that kind of shaggy carpet. It smells like soap in there. She kept it so clean. And I do vaguely remember commercials for Dallas.
Speaker 1:Somehow I knew, like I knew even before I started typing that in. I knew Dallas was on CBS. I just kind of remember that. Maybe it just seems like the more country version of the shows. I don't know. I think maybe Yee Haw came on on that same channel and Price is right, and that just reminds me of old Texans. So naturally I would just put Dallas there. That's what I'm trying to think. I'm like there's probably no way I would have remembered that commercial, but I just knew. Anyway, maybe because Victor Newman Victor Newman lived on CBS too. Do y'all remember that? If you know Victor and Nikki and no, nikki was a daughter, right, doesn't matter. Victoria and Victor Newman no, that's right, they had the daughter named Victoria. They had Nikki was the son and the mom's name, it doesn't really matter. That was her show. Damn, everything she watched was on CBS. Now that I think about it, the whole point of that was that dynasty and Falcon Crest had something to aspire to, something to work around, and I would imagine that, since Falcon Crest and Dallas are on the same channel, huh makes sense that a lot of their shows overlap the way they did Makes sense. Not great, but it makes sense.
Speaker 1:So season one you don't know who's going to watch. You got to strike the audience's attention, you got to draw them in. The people need to be wholesome enough. It has to be intriguing enough. There has to be a scandal. But you can't just go all out at first, unless, of course, you're a Falcon Crest who's coming into this knowing that people enjoy that. You can be a little bit more scandalous. You can see wealth and a little bit of a scandal. We had an affair, but it was all kind of PG for the most part.
Speaker 1:By season two you got to up the ante a little bit. Okay, we're still here, people like us, but now we got to keep them interested. What can we do to increase ratings? What can we do to build our audience? How are we going to get this little juice here? And so that's when the new, care old people fall away, that by that point the networks know who isn't going to work. They need to bring in some fresh, new blood and you get to really show out both season. All three season twos were hilarious, fun and exciting, but season three season three is where things start to change a little bit, starting with our super villains. Season two kind of kicks off the expansion of the villain as we know them. They're a little tougher. We learned their secrets. We learned they're a little bit more ruthless.
Speaker 1:Jr became iconic in season two with his one liners. He was hilarious. Season three he up the ante. He was. If he was shameless in season two, he was triple that in season three shameless, ruthless, careless, basically willing to go above and beyond to screw any and everybody over, as long as it wasn't himself.
Speaker 1:Now, part of his whole appeal to me is that the people who depend on him know who he is, but nobody can do anything about it, because he needs to be that person in business. He needs to be ruthless, he needs to be cut through. He has permission to do that At home. He's not supposed to be that way. However, you don't get to be a part-time manipulator. Either be good or be good at it, and he chooses to be good at it. Just like he can swindle a deal at work, he can swindle his family. But it's like his family already knows who he is, but nobody wants to jeopardize their place in society, so they, they kind of turn a blind eye to any and everything he's doing.
Speaker 1:Season three he decided I'm going to sleep with my wife's sister just to spite her. I'm gonna introduce her to the finer things in life and slowly hold that over my wife's head. I am going to put pressure on everyone else around me Until I'm back into the position I want to be. His. His title was stripped from him from a little bit. Bobby was sent to babysit, but we all know how that turned out. You up the ante and in this case he had to do something ten times as sleazy as he did season two, which season two I can only remember actually don't remember him being that scandalous, but you know basically putting his wife in the Senatorium sanitarium as she needed to be. He didn't actually do anything in season two, not really. It was a mental power of manipulation that eventually turned into something else Dynasty.
Speaker 1:Season two was a little bit different. The supervillain being Alexis, was still working on coming into power. So she wasn't, she was just having a good time. At this point you could tell that she wasn't necessarily a villain, she was just kind of the nemesis. Blake still seemed to be the villain in season two, not bigger than Cecil, but he kind of toes the line between is he a good guy who does bad things? Was he a bad guy with a conscience? Keep that in mind.
Speaker 1:Season three Alexis was clearly Locked in and ready and I feel like they had to bring in Adam To help facilitate a lot of the moves she couldn't make for some reason. You know you can't have her jump from being kind of this carefree, fun ex-wife who has a little bit of an attitude and just likes to metal. He was her do-dirt person. Adam became that and thank God for it. Much like on Falcon Crest, they needed to bring in a second sort of Demi villain to accompany the major villain, in that case being Angela. So Angela is doing her do-dirt on season two. She's Upping the Annie, she's trying to undermine Chase every time she got.
Speaker 1:But now we've got Richard in the picture. Richard is Outwardly ruthless, like JR. He's as savvy as Adam and together on the show their tension Made for great action. Like the villains were over here. We're gonna do what we need to do on season two. We're gonna show you how we Basically do mental jiu-jitsu on everyone else around us.
Speaker 1:But on season three I noticed one of two things the villain either elevates by doing meaner and nastier things, or you start to get a peek behind the curtain and see okay, maybe this isn't, maybe they're more like Blake, maybe they're just good people who do bad things or bad people who have good, you know a couple of good things going for him. Season three Alexis decided you know, I'm gonna cut, I'm going to cut Blake off at the knees, I'm gonna do everything I can to destroy him. It just took her a little bit longer because she's not as business savvy as he is. Over on Falcon crest, though, richard's pretty much got what he wanted. Angela pretty much got what she wanted, and once you give some Pete the people what they really want, there's a saying if you really want to know who someone is, you give them exactly what they want and the person they show you is who they really are.
Speaker 1:It would appear that the villains, the super villains on Falcon crests are just overly sensitive people who've had to put on a show. And Because we get to a little peak behind the curtain Angela suddenly falling in love Angela certain is suddenly, you know she's showing more emotion. She can't. She doesn't want Maggie to be in the hospital with this tumor. She doesn't want Melissa to lose her baby. She doesn't want to, really want to see Melissa keep the baby because she feels like any woman who would be willing to give up the baby doesn't deserve to have them. So she does something ruthless, which is I'm gonna make this deal with you, little girl, to see if you would actually sign over the most important thing in your life, and when you do, I know I own you. But then she feels bad about it. That was a whole different peak.
Speaker 1:Behind the curtain this season is seen that our villains kind of had a conscious, or that they were nervous, or that there was someone who had their thumb over them, jr trying to think what moments he had. He didn't really have many. So when he stands out, even when he was going to lose, when they were gonna lose a ranch because he had taken out that second mortgage or whatever, and His mama was about to lose her blood birthrights, I he seemed to feel bad until everything was okay and he's like whew, so it's like you didn't feel bad cause you hurt her feelings. You felt bad because you lost the money. There's a very different. He's a different kind of villain. He may not shoot you but he is going to run mental gymnastics all up and over through you, I think by the third season.
Speaker 1:It's not enough just to be a I want to take over the world type of villain. That's very cartoonish, it's very one dimensional. It's fun to see the other side of them. By pushing the envelope, by being extra ruthless, you get to see how they affect other people. And on the other hand, on a case of like Falcon Crest and Dynasty, specifically with Adam on Dynasty, to see that, see the moments. He got angry because he was sort of a blank space. He was a blank canvas.
Speaker 1:When he walked in on the show All we knew was that he had been kidnapped at a young age and he is now coming home to get to know his family so he could be anybody doing anything. But we quickly saw that this is a very bright kid and he just seemed to be just that kind of bright and very confident until you pissed him off. And it was so much fun watching Adam turn from good old Billings boy to. I will paint poison on your walls and watch you inhale and lose your frickin' mind. If you ever cross me, try me and do what I do. He's a good kind. So, where JR is a ruthless spoiled, nobody's really afraid of him, but everyone fears what he can do, if that makes any sense. Type of villain to Alexis, who is on a revenge spiral I'll ruin your life, I'll leave you, I'll use whoever I need. To type a villain to Adam, who's a.
Speaker 1:I am three Zolofts away from snapping completely, which is much like Richard over on Falcon Crest. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this. Guys, if you just started listening to the show, first and foremost, welcome. Enjoy this ride of watching this product and time soap operas, because this is where it's at. But Richard only drinks milk. I went back and watched the season finale again and when he was having a drink quote unquote with Lance because they're both technically drinks he's still pouring a glass of milk. They don't really explain why Richard only drinks milk. It's unusual for a grown man and remember he used to lay on his stomach in his office and play with those little toy soldiers. So Adam and Richard are probably seeing the same doctor for the same mental. You know they're a couple ticks, ticks from boom. Something's going on.
Speaker 1:We can't quite figure out, but either way, every villain had to reveal something. Jr will reveal something. Jr will reveal that he is absolutely ruthless. No such thing as a conscience in this guy's head. Alexis is bound and determined to get her revenge while looking fabulous. Adam is hey, he's on his way to something we're going to find out together.
Speaker 1:Angela still has her eyes on the prize. She'll do something horribly dirty, but she's going to feel horrible about it. Quietly. It's not going to cry, she's not going to shed a tear. Don't reach for it. Don't you dare reach out and try to hug her. Don't you touch my perm. I'm not. I'm listening. I said I was sorry, not in need of. No, don't touch me. Personal bubble, personal bubble. Who else do we have? That's about it. Get to see a new part of the villain on season three. You need to, because otherwise the audience is going to lose interest. So, as for the villains, you get bigger, badder or more vulnerable.
Speaker 1:Our bit players are different direction, completely Dynasty, I feel like needs. Their bit players are the best. These are not your the superstars, but they are quickly becoming stars on season three, and we're talking about Adam. I just thought about this, guys. I kept saying Adam on season two, but I think I'm confusing it. Adam would have popped up towards the end of season two, if not the very beginning of season one. But either way, I stand by what I said.
Speaker 1:You didn't really know who this kid was. He was just a kidnapped, long lost little boy, blue, who was returned. Well, he returned. He's a grown man. Show back up Didn't really have a thought one way or another about who he was going to be or what he was going to do. Anyway, he started out as a quote, unquote bit player but, in my opinion, solidified his place as a star on season three, as did Kirby, as did Jeff. Now Jeff's been there from the beginning. One of my favorite episodes. I think it's season 10, season one, episode 10, jeff's birthday, cecil's, cecil's birthday, where he goes off on everybody at the dinner table and reads everybody for filth as they sit there quietly because he was telling the truth and there's nothing they could say. But season three, it was him. He was him, the tool man Taylor, all season and we needed him. Thank God, if not for his storyline with Kirby and the mental health crisis and interacting with Mark and interacting with Adam and Alexis. You honestly could have left. We could have left Crystal Blade and Fallon completely out of the story and it still would have been just as good. We just need to replace Fallon's part in the love triangle with some rando and it would have been just as interesting.
Speaker 1:The bit players up the ante on season three and I think it's like season one. You have your cast, you have an idea, but by season two you know who people like you know who they don't like. So you bring in a fresh set. Season two, on Dynasty. They brought in Dr Tuscany to basically explain everything. He was everybody psychiatrists, all sorts psychiatrists, surgeon, obgyn fricking, chiropractor, sluth, you name it. He did it. They also got rid of Matthew and Lindsay because no one cares. Sorry, no one cared about him. On Falcon Christ, season two who did? We lost Vicky. Vicky went back to New York to be a dancer or something. No one cared. So season three you bring in Aunt Terry. We just replaced the sibling to Cole with an aunt for Cole.
Speaker 1:Cousin Michaels is also kind of an anomaly, because usually when a family member shows up on a soap opera or a TV show like that or drama. They're nine times out of 10, very, very bad news. Michael is not. Michael is very pleasant, wonderful, gentle man with a tender heart of gold. Even when he was pissed at Chase, he wasn't that pissed at Chase, you know, he's just a nice guy. He kind of took over the role like Tuscany Tuscany, dr Tuscany did on Dynasty, where he was just everybody was.
Speaker 1:Hat was affiliated with him in one way or another. He was Maggie's comp-a-dant. He was a neutral party between Richard and Chase. What's her name? Angie didn't care for him, but it's. I think she just didn't care for him. But he's, she's very neutral. She paid him dust, he's just, he is who he is. Long as he's not trying to slice and dice open her plain-ice. Remember that episode where she was like Maggie, you can't let him eat. It couldn't even save his own wife. You know what? I'm? Slashed you open. Which is such an auntie moon. That's why I love her. She's such an auntie.
Speaker 1:Richard is brought in on season three as I don't really know what, but I liked him. I don't mind him being there. He's. He's the one family member who has not brought in any extra drama, and I guess Kirby technically didn't, but she did. She didn't bring drama. She attracted drama, unfortunately, because there is the psychopath upstairs who was just kind of waiting to see what she would do.
Speaker 1:Season three, dallas, didn't really bring in anyone extra, nobody that we haven't already met. They went back in the archives and start scrambling and moving things about a little bit. So you do have at least a different and a unique take there. But One way or another the bit players have to step up and have a bigger part on Dallas. You needed Ray to To suddenly meet up when I want him at a millionaire and decided he didn't want that life. That's too bougie for his taste. He's not a Miller, high-life drinking man Like the good old Coors. So he and his Coors light wanted a cabin on the land, only they Directed a dead body. So it's like whoops.
Speaker 1:So now let's bring in, let's bring back this story from wherever so that we can get rid of Digger. Essentially, that is crazy. That's some good writing to think, okay, let's have a murder mystery mixed in with a paternity type trial and then we're just gonna kill Digger. That that's, that's all for him. Bam, couldn't have just drunken him drink, drink himself to death, yes, drink. Or we found him in a drunken coma. Blah, blah, blah. Seems that on season 3 the whole point of a bit player. At this point You're either one of three things You're there to seduce, to sabotage or support, because in Michaels is a support system. Adam of Sabatua, terry is there to seduce, kristen is there to seduce, support and possibly sabotage, if she was better at it. Alan beam was there to support JR, then he went on to suggest the two little sabotage him. You get where I'm going with this. If you're not one of those three things, do not expect to be on the next season.
Speaker 1:Ie Vicki from seasons one or two, which is terrible because, vicki, she has that whole. Literally. Her storyline was you were a long island lowlita, who moved to the West Coast, fell in love with a brilliant young man whose family was its Risk of being deported sort of, or had some sort of affiliation with people who could be deported or manipulated in some way. He is heroic. He decided he wants to help his people. He wants to better himself, better his community, make his family proud, go be a lawyer. But then you start having a affair with this older super duper, creepy, super Kango, hat wearing creep, only to discover that he's been banging his ex-wife the whole time. She was almost in an adult film wink, wink. You know what I'm saying. All that did make her interesting enough to stay on the show. That's probably a really bad sign if you have 68 things happen to you and we still care more about the geriatric it girl over you. You got to go.
Speaker 1:Vicki was replaced with doc, doctor, cousins. Vicki was replaced with a middle-aged man who I care way more about Than her. Yeah, if you can't support, seduce or sabotage was. She really didn't do any of those. She got played and she got replaced. That's that's why Lucy is still on Dallas, quite frankly, as far as I'm concerned, because she knows how to seduce and she she looks like she'll sabotage you in a heartbeat. She solidified her place on the show because she could get pushed off like her mom and dad. I still can't believe her mom and daddy. I'm. We'll get into that. We'll get into that. I'm Literally going to push play later on today on knots landing for the first time and Start recording episodes one and two. But I still can't get over the fact that the dud got the spin off. It would be the equivalent thus far of Vicki getting a spin off. I'm like I barely remembered you were on the show and you have a whole spin on him and was certain, with her name Venetia, that oh god, what is that girl's name? By Dahlia They'd a lot in it but those are girls names. I'm va, va, vicki, no Venetia, no Valveline In it. Anyway, we'll get to. I'll figure out her name later.
Speaker 1:Season three the bit players must seduce, sabotage, support or you will be dismissed. Another great example on on Falcon crest is the secretary. Now Richard has a thing. We've only known him for two seasons but he's had an illicit affair with both secretaries. A person was, what's her name? Sharon tweet. Why do I do this to myself? I really should be looking it up. But the girl in IRL she's married to Jean Simmons from kiss Her she was. She was. Their name was Diana Diana. She was a secretary at first. He messed around with her. Now she's gone, working for the cartel. And this season Richard fell in love with another bit player, miss Lynch, who happens to be. She must be semi-important. She started it way more screen time towards the end of the end of the shows, season three, she's. They actually had a bathtub scene which we'll talk about here in a second and he seems to be head over heels like in love with her.
Speaker 1:Very, very interesting the bit players are bidding for positions as series regular on season three and Season three. Of this I fully intend to see, or expect to see everybody return on season four. Thus far, kirby surely will be back. Adams, definitely not going anywhere. Neither is Pam, unless she's dead. I guess she could be dead, but I doubt that. We're spending a lot of time and resources talking about her, so you wouldn't keep mentioning her if she's not gonna show up again. Dallas, there's nobody else I can think of other than Ray's Billionaire lady friend and Alan beam, who may or may not show up again, but I hope he continues.
Speaker 1:Okay, the last time we talked about this I said this about Falcon Crest. Falcon Crest started out as that kind of overzealous student who turns in the 15-page essay when everyone else turns on a two-page essay. They're smart, they're bright, they want to rule the school through hard work and detailed storytelling, but we never talk about the fact that everybody on Falcon Crest is just as shiny as a people on dynasty, only they don't have as good a lighting. The lighting in Falcon Crest is not nearly as good as it is on dynasty, but they don't get a twist that they are still sexy. They're smart, but they're sexy. Who says you only get brains or boobs, not both? Falcon Crests Lives to prove everyone wrong. They've got brains, they've got beauty. They've got blood, they've got explosions. They've got mystery, intrigue, real-life topics done in a wonderful way. They've got diversity. They're on the West Coast. You see every race of people on the show. They have got it locked.
Speaker 1:Now, dynasty knew Dynasty's the pretty girl. Dynasty knows she's pretty. She's going to continue to be pretty, pretty and witty and wild, and that's exactly what they brought to us on Season 3. Better clothes, better lighting, wilder trips, wilder storylines, unapologetic for being gorgeous and from what I understand, they're only going to up the ante. Dallas was that kind of.
Speaker 1:You know you're going to see the pants. You're intrigued by them at all season long. But they are also equally as pretty. They're not as shiny. I will say this they're fancy. And then they're shiny.
Speaker 1:Fancy meaning you, I mean your clothes are put together. Obviously you're not wearing the same outfit over and over. But shiny, I mean everybody is glossed up. Hairs coiffed to perfection, makeup done to the tee. The women always look like that.
Speaker 1:Miss Ellie plays down a lot. She's a little bit more demure, she's not very fancy, she's at home, she's minding her own business, while Angela on the West Coast is at home minding her business, but she's glossed out, she's fancy, fancy. You know what I'm saying? Nobody other than Chase and Lance occasionally, and Cole occasionally, wear denim like that, like they wear denim, but they're not wearing the same denim. And Dallas that you're wearing in Tuscany Valley.
Speaker 1:It's a totally different, you know it's different. One involves cow turds, the other is just like mud. So you got, you got to dress for the occasion. Varring the men. The women are done up to the nines Dynasty. They're extra, extra, glossy, extra shiny, extra coiffed all day, every day, with fur on, for absolutely no reason.
Speaker 1:Melissa and the ladies on the West Coast are just as glitzy. Just as glitzy, especially if they let me tell you why the Falcon Crest sits down to eat. You better believe there's going to be sequence in the May. You better believe you're going to think they're going to walk out of the front door and go to some gala. No, they're sitting at the dinner table side eyeing each other over Borsch I mean canned ravioli or whatever Eating off of silver platters and drinking coffee out of silver. Very, very fancy, very shiny. We understand that they are rich, rich, rich. Everybody does it.
Speaker 1:Dallas is the most demure about it. I mean, they have to eat outside. Do you ever think about that? Like I understand the appeal of eating outside sometimes. If you live in a nice climate you know it's fun, it's pleasant outside. Sure, it's a good thing. But on Dallas all I can think of y'all are downwind from 70 acres of cattle. That cannot be pleasant all day, every day. The only thing that makes me think they, just, they can, they can endure it is because you get used to it. I guess eventually that in the smell of oil pumping, oh, it is not fun. But either way, like the point being made here, I think I'm kicking a dead horse.
Speaker 1:It's no surprise that on a soap opera, people are drop dead gorgeous. Have you ever turned on Telemundo? Everybody on Telemundo is stunning, everybody. I don't care if it's a 104 year old lady, she's a 10. She is stunning. Everybody has dropped dead gorgeous. So is the case for most soap operas. Everybody is going to be flawless and beautiful. But I feel like season three, because the shows are solidified a little bit more.
Speaker 1:The cast. The original cast is clearly popular. We get to see like the celebrity aspect of it, the celebrity sex symbol and I can read this like a book baby. I can remember when 90210 came out after you know the first season air. They're everywhere, they're all over the TV, they're on the night shows, they're on the tabloids around TV guy, they're on entertainment tonight, that kind of thing. I remember when Grey's Anatomy came out, second season, third season is where it really starts to pop off. Now we suddenly know a whole lot more about their personal lives. I don't know if it was as intense in the 80s, but it is very clear who the stars have become. You can especially see it with Crystal and Alexis. Clearly their star has risen. Their lines are crisper, they're getting special sort of attention Camera wise. I feel like it's intense and it's so good. Falcon Crest, to me, is giving it the most because you got Lance, who's I know y'all are just waiting for me to say something about Lance, I'm going to save him for last.
Speaker 1:The aviator, adonis Chase. He's directing a few of these episodes but his oh my gosh, v-neck everything. He was kind of V-necked out the second season, but this one, oh, he is sexy everywhere he goes. Those shades barely come off, hair is coiffed, jeans are tight. He's got on the members only jacket on button to navel, just above. You know he's he's surfing and this is the thing. He's the dad on the show.
Speaker 1:You would think it would be Cole. Cole who's come back to. Cole's got those sleeves rolled up. He's brooding a little bit more. They're showing him a little bit angrier because he's been the Boy Scout who's been kind of cold, good and catch a break for the first two seasons in anything. It's a little better this season but you get to see him being the man in charge a little bit more. They've got his haircut. Every time you see him he's doing something physical. That's kind of a tell when it's a guy on a show If he suddenly he's swimming more, suddenly he's lifting things or he's working on fences, he's building bricks. Anything that would induce a little bit of sweat is going to make your temperature rise. They're going to make sure it happens on here.
Speaker 1:Don't forget the very, very sexy, super steamy shower scene between Aunt Terry and Lance. They were in the sauna hook. That is y'all. We're very grown. I don't need to get into details but the logistics of being in a room that's 130 degrees and on tile you know what I'm saying. That just doesn't seem like that's gonna whatever. Doesn't seem like that would fare well. Seems like it'd be a little bit complicated, if you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Oh, miss Lynch. All of a sudden she sends Richard on his way after they have champagne for breakfast and there's a shower scene where they're focusing on the bubbles and her legs and stuff and I'm like, oh, okay, I get it, she's a sex symbol on the show. Didn't really get that up until now. I just I just I just, I just, I just Maybe I'm also like a straight woman, so I just didn't clock it, but I think I saw her as very good at her job, so I just kind of took her very seriously. I'm like, oh, you know, she's always dressed nice, but she's never been like without clothes, not like Terry. So okay, so she's a sex symbol too. Melissa, of course Melissa was pregnant most of the show, but even pregnant, she showed up To Cole's house with wrinkled satin sheets just to remind you hoes who she was. What else? Ha ha, ha, ha ha ha.
Speaker 1:Falconcrest turned it up. They were very obvious. They're like you are going to recognize the weird hotties. Okay, it reminds me of when. So for me, like Britney Spears, christine Aguilera, beyonce, destiny's Child, those girls were kind of coming of age around the same time as I was, and I can remember and this goes for any Disney girl specifically so let's, I'm saying like a Britney and Christina, lindsay Lohan what's her name? Miley Cyrus, those girls it's like you get a certain age and then you want to be taken seriously, so you do something sexy. That is a vibe that Falconcrest was giving her, like, yes, we've been wholesome, yes, we've been hard hitting, yes, we are impeccable in our writing, but, damn it, we are pretty. We want the crown too.
Speaker 1:All of a sudden, some everybody's sweaty. There were several pool scenes. Why is it with this? For a man, they strip him down and give him something heavy to lift. So you're like, oh, he's hot, but for a woman, she has to dive in a pool and come out slowly. Not everybody can do that, but it is what it is the sex symbol lodge. Season three wanted us to know, by and large, that we are hotties. Now we're not only famous cause the show was good. We're famous because we're good looking.
Speaker 1:All right, guys, as we bid adieu to season three. Understand this you need glycerin, you need oil, you need steam. By season three, you need the world to know. Not only are you fun to watch I'm fun to watch on screen, I'm fun to watch off screen. We are sexy and we're gonna remind you every turn we get.
Speaker 1:Also, you need to be a little nastier on this. You need to be mean. You need to do dirt things that you normally wouldn't do. You need to threaten to sell someone's firstborn and do it. You need to sell your mama's pride and joy, her homeland. You gotta be willing to put your mama out on the street. On season three, you gotta blow up your baby boy and then threaten to rip his firstborn from him. That's what you gotta do. You have to be absolutely ruthless. You gotta paint poison into walls. You have to attack innocent doe-eyed girls who don't know any better. You have got to be ruthless and you gotta be sexy. That is the key to a super sexy, successful season three. All right, guys, join me next time as we start our new series. We kick off in the meantime. In between time, be good to yourself. You deserve it. Stay hydrated, because winter months count. Stay moisturized because of I mean same. Mind your own business and keep all of your drama on TV.