Welcome Back Soap Fiends
Long before Luelue Lemon and Target runs, stay at home moms drudged through their days much like they do today, overlooked, over extended and generally over it. Today's episode has the Knots Landing PTA prez floating into the arms of an unconvententail teacher .
That's just a glimpse of the whirlwind of emotions and offbeat humor we unpack on Soaplore's Knots Landing Takeover. Join me, Jetta, as we sail through the stormy seas of desire and domesticity, exploring the secret longings of suburban mother Karen, witnessing the cunning Richard Avery's exploits with telegrams, and relishing the shock of a surprise kiss that reverberates through a school meeting.
Today's tales from Knots Landing weave a rich narrative of love, identity, and the unsung heroism of caregivers like Karen, who balance the demands of family and community with their own suppressed dreams. We'll chuckle at the misadventures of Sid, who's as clueless about romantic cues as he is fascinated by the wonders of Teflon pans. Get ready for a hearty blend of comedic gold and heartfelt moments as we navigate the intricacies of attraction, from the innocent to the illicit, and the dynamic relationships that alter the tapestry of our small town community.
As we eagerly await the unfolding drama of Episode Four, the absence of Gary leaves us steeped in mystery and speculation. Let's celebrate the myriad characters and storylines that make the world of "Knots Landing" so compelling, and remind ourselves, amid life's temptations and trials, to always find a moment for laughter and self-care. So, refill your glass with something bubbly and settle in as we delve into the latest from the sudsy saga that's got everyone talking.
If you love Soaplore, check out
Televisionofyore.com for a blow by blow recap of iconic t.v
Join the Vintage Primetime Soap Opera Social Club on FB
Welcome Back Soap Fiends
Long before Luelue Lemon and Target runs, stay at home moms drudged through their days much like they do today, overlooked, over extended and generally over it. Today's episode has the Knots Landing PTA prez floating into the arms of an unconvententail teacher .
That's just a glimpse of the whirlwind of emotions and offbeat humor we unpack on Soaplore's Knots Landing Takeover. Join me, Jetta, as we sail through the stormy seas of desire and domesticity, exploring the secret longings of suburban mother Karen, witnessing the cunning Richard Avery's exploits with telegrams, and relishing the shock of a surprise kiss that reverberates through a school meeting.
Today's tales from Knots Landing weave a rich narrative of love, identity, and the unsung heroism of caregivers like Karen, who balance the demands of family and community with their own suppressed dreams. We'll chuckle at the misadventures of Sid, who's as clueless about romantic cues as he is fascinated by the wonders of Teflon pans. Get ready for a hearty blend of comedic gold and heartfelt moments as we navigate the intricacies of attraction, from the innocent to the illicit, and the dynamic relationships that alter the tapestry of our small town community.
As we eagerly await the unfolding drama of Episode Four, the absence of Gary leaves us steeped in mystery and speculation. Let's celebrate the myriad characters and storylines that make the world of "Knots Landing" so compelling, and remind ourselves, amid life's temptations and trials, to always find a moment for laughter and self-care. So, refill your glass with something bubbly and settle in as we delve into the latest from the sudsy saga that's got everyone talking.
If you love Soaplore, check out
Televisionofyore.com for a blow by blow recap of iconic t.v
Join the Vintage Primetime Soap Opera Social Club on FB
Richard's like no, let, I'll tell you what you don't. Tell me what you did. I tell you what you did. You'll tell me how right I am about how wrong you were by doing the things you did.
Speaker 1:Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome or welcome back to SoFloor, the official gathering place for newbies, novices and OG Die Hard fans of the Golden Age of Primetime. I'm your host, jed, and this is the North Landing Takeover. We're viewing and reviewing the soapiest, sudsyest, one of the most iconic soaps of all time. So, whether you're new to this or true to this, sit back and enjoy. Tell the kids it's time to play outside or out of sight. Tell Bay. No questions, suggestions or concerns for the next 25-35 minutes, everyone else in Earshot. Be Cool, be Quiet, or you Will Be Kicked Out because we are diving knee deep into North Landing. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is SoFloor. Hello, gorgeous, welcome or welcome back to another fun, good edition of SoFloor, the North Landing Takeover.
Speaker 1:This episode had me at the edge of my seat for all the wrong reasons. Is it intense? Yeah. Is it scary? No, but the system is a different kind of suspense. It's the temptation you're supposed to turn your back on, but you can't help. Do you remember your first crush? Scratch that. Do you remember having a crush as an adolescence? It's fun, it's flighty, you feel nervous for no reason. A crush can be just super, super innocent. Maybe you had a lot of admiration for your sibling's best friend, or the mailman or the guy at the grocery store, it doesn't really matter. You understand the butterflies and the surprise and the overall kind of intoxication that comes with having your first crush. It's amazing. It's a wonderful feeling. Everyone goes through it, right, no big deal. What happens when you have that crush as a full grown married adult? Today's episode explores the nuances of being a suburban mother with aspirations and slipping and falling into a crush. I hope your day is going well If you're listening at night. Good luck tomorrow. I'll always subscribe to the thought that you really can't pick who you're attracted to. It just sort of happens. Sometimes it happens at the right time, sometimes it happens at the wrong time, but ultimately what happens there after the initial attraction, that is, is up to you.
Speaker 1:This episode made me think. It made me uncomfortable for all the right reasons, I know. Previously I said it was the wrong reason, but it's all the right reasons. It's important to think. It's important to have a thought process. It's even more important to understand why you do the things you do. Go ahead and grab yourself something bubbly. This one is good, baby. I'll tell you what. Cbs knew exactly what they were doing. You got Dallas. You got this man off knots landing. A little later on You're going to add you some Falcon Crest. I get it. I don't know what sort of mousetrap they set up. I don't know what sort of carrot on the stick they had dangling in front of the finest riders in all the land, but they got them and some of them landed it. Not landing.
Speaker 1:This episode also made me kind of think to myself have you ever had a crush on a teacher? I started to think back. I had big admiration for several of my teachers, but I can't remember actually having a crush on a teacher. Maybe I had a crush on a coach here and there, one in particular gorgeous. He looked like he could have been on 902 and I was freaking amazing. It was like Jason Priestley and like a really muscular version of him. Then he gave me the tension and I quickly fell out of like with him. But whatever, it turned out to be one of the good guys eventually, but I can't really think of a teacher. But I understand being so enthralled with someone that it just kind of moves you into a new space. Enter knots landing.
Speaker 1:Season one, episode three, let me count the ways, aka the curly blue eyes episode. Long before Lulu Lemon and Target runs, long before Starbucks and Pinterest, the world of motherhood and suburbia was aspirational to some and living hellhole to others. Surely the thought of staying home and managing a home might seem like it's a vacation compared to clocking in at your nine to five. Until you've actually done it, you have to remember these are. These are girls who grew up to be women, to have families that they love and adore, they want to take care of.
Speaker 1:Staying at home is one of the hardest jobs you will ever ever have. You don't clock in or out, you're on call all day, every day, for 18 to 28 years in some cases, depending on how many kids you have, and it doesn't just stop with mothers. It could be you could be a child taking care of a sick parent. You can be a sibling taking care of another sibling Many reasons why people stay at home and take care of other people. I'm just saying if you are a caretaker in any capacity, maybe you have several animals. It's a lot of work, it ain't no walking in the park, it ain't no picnic Granted. Yes, all of us have been in an office at some point and thought God, I'd rather be home. You'd rather be at home relaxing, not doing the hard work.
Speaker 1:Karen happens to be one of these girls who grew up to be a woman who decided, you know, she had dreams and aspirations. She's obviously smart as a whip. She's obviously heavily involved in her community, heavily involved in her neighborhood in the best possible way. But she is concentrating on raising a healthy, happy, viable family. So the first thing, karen is slaving over a hot stove. In my mind it looks like she's making that. In my mind, my eyes told me she was making some set of porridge. It's white, it's thick, consistency of like oatmeal or cottage cheese. She's flipping it in a pan. She's wiping the sweat from her brow. She's really laying it on thick. This woman has been up for 35 minutes and dad gum and her family needs a hot brekkie. So she's going to make it the best way she can and she starts dishing out this white substance.
Speaker 1:But her two sons are in the room. They appear to be 13 and 15. And the younger son is like pressing his older brother as to why he's not asking out Sarah Coker, it seems to be all over you, why don't you like her? And his older brother is trying to explain that just because a girl was pretty, sometimes they're obnoxious and he's not really feeling Sarah for various reasons, but his younger brother just can't take it. So it's that little chatter, chatter, chit, chit, conversation.
Speaker 1:And then her daughter comes in and announces that she has volunteered her Karen that is to be a chaperone on the observatory trip. Karen's like wait, what, why, why do I need to go? And then Karen, her favorite teacher, mr Crane, is doing one thing or another and they needed to decipher the difference between the stars and reality. I can't really remember. The situation Doesn't really matter. All this is is an invitation for Karen to meet Mr Crane. Hold that thought.
Speaker 1:So she's dishing out the breakfast and she's like dang, I really didn't want to make breakfast. Now I have to be a chaperone with these kids. I didn't really want to do, but okay, fine, whatever. She starts laying out this beautiful meal of porridge, eggs, cosmics. Okay, for the sake of this argument, her eggs. She lays out the meal to one son, the next son to the daughter, and then the husband comes in. Here comes Sid. She's going a little overwhelmed, as most mothers do from time to time, and, if you're honest, sometimes you need a little break.
Speaker 1:For whatever reason, she decided to dress breakfast this morning with freshly sliced tomatoes and the kids were just what is this? Tomatoes? I hate tomatoes. Why don't tomatoes in my plate? Can I tell you, I have never resonated so deeply with the character in that moment. I don't know what it is about kids. I don't know what it is about picky eaters. In general, people will eat ketchup but they won't eat spaghetti sauce, or vice versa. Or they'll eat spaghetti sauce but they don't eat fresh tomatoes, which, as I say it out loud, I kind of get. I'm not a fan of stewed tomatoes, but I'm not going to make a big deal if they're in my spaghetti sauce. Either way, the kids tomato this tomato, that tomato, that. Finally she snaps. Everybody's looking at her like she's crazy, when they've been talking to her like absolute maniacs for the last 30 minutes nonstop. So she steps outside and they're just oh no, why'd you put tomatoes? She's like I wanted to add a little color to your breakfast, sue her for being a mother who wants nutrition and a colorful palette on her family's plate. So she takes the step outside.
Speaker 1:She doesn't need a minute, does that? Just need a minute to get my mind together? Everybody, leave me the hell alone. Not walks her husband. She's like dude, we got to leave. Can we please? I don't care where we go. Can we just go on a big, just just a little trip, just you and me? I just need to get away. And he's like babe, I would love to take you, but you understand, I'm a car dealer and the cars aren't carring the way they should. I don't have the luxury automobiles of people want 1979, 1980. And I certainly don't have the luxury of leaving right now. Money's not right. We got to sit tight. She's like all right, cool, fine, fine, fine.
Speaker 1:So, as a good woman, she composes herself and she decides she's going to walk her husband out to his car, kiss him as he goes about his day. She's going to make sure her kids get on the bus and not do something wild like go to the mall all day and when she's outside, she and Sid that is, rich and Laura A come over to announce that they that he's running for the school board, but there's this meeting he needs her to attend. See, this lets you know right away Karen is that girl? She's that lady that you go to. She's a neighborhood watch who's actually watching for the right reason. She's not going to just be nosy. She told me she's going to be nosy, but she's not going to exploit you in any way.
Speaker 1:So the long and short of it is that there's a teacher at the school who has some really unsavory teaching tactics that Richard is not a fan of, never mind the fact that Richard A wants to run for the school board because he feels like it's going to up his career. He has decided that this teacher is persona non grata and they need to get him out of the school system ASAP. So he starts telling her he had a junkie. Come to school, he had some convicts show up. He had a hooker and a prostitute. Those are interchangeable words to me. But you know no disrespect to the ladies in the night. I don't know your business. So Karen's listening to this. She's like cool, I'll show up. I mean she might as well she's not a non-sanction have anything else to do, but she knows she's going to. She's a sucker for good cause. So she agrees. Sid is keeping quiet cause he didn't really want to go. But Richard's like I really need you there. I could really use the support of my neighbors and if nothing else, this particular cul-de-sac within Knott's Landing, which I figured out this episode, is actually a town. This particular cul-de-sac is very tight knit. So he's like you know what you need this neighbor, we will be there.
Speaker 1:Oddly enough, the conversation between Richard and his wife is so bizarre. He wants his wife Laura to not just, you know, contact the school or make a few phone calls and make sure that all the seniors and juniors and, you know, junior high children are at the meeting and their parents. He wants her to send telegraphs out. We will spread that for them. Telegrams, whatever the word is. Telegraph, telegram, whatever you would have done in 1979. Seems a little expensive. When she's like, hey, that's gonna cost you a lot of money, can I just make a phone call? He's like no, no, no, no, this is more personable and you start to see that Richard Avery wants to make a name for himself by any means necessary. He's popping up on every episode. Last episode he definitely talked to JR because he wanted to be. He wants to climb the corporate ladder a little quicker than he's doing just now, and this seems to be another one of his moves. It's very hard to tell throughout the entire episode If he's really passionate about it or if he just feels like this is a campaign he can get behind and perhaps mold it to his favor Right.
Speaker 1:So later on that night the board meeting proceeds and it's hella boring. This lady is talking about whatever people go on and on about at the board meeting. You have to do the particulars before you get to the juicy stuff. I mean, this is just a way of keeping people accountable. They want to make sure the school's doing what they need to. So she's basically just like blah, blah, blah, the erasure's arrived in time. It's super, super boring.
Speaker 1:And Karen is getting a little bit antsy because Sid still hasn't arrived. I'm sure in the back of her mind she's like is he trying to flake on me? I don't know. She decided she's gonna get him. She's gonna like call. This is long for cell phones. This is long, I mean.
Speaker 1:And the school is closed at this point so she can't go into the office and use the regular phone. Side note, if you are a Gen Xer and an older millennial probably I think pretty much all millennials except to like the last few Payphones were around, but I do not remember using them very often. I can remember distinctly there was one sort of in the hallway outside of our gym class, but if you're in school during the day you would just use the telephone in the office. Otherwise I didn't really use a lot of pay phones and I kind of regret that. It seems a little exciting for some reason to be mid-sentence and you have to add in more coins. It's like a game. It's like a video game If you think about it that way. I digress.
Speaker 1:She's gonna go call the car dealership to see where Sid is, see his ETA. So she makes her way down the hall and there's a guy on the phone, this cute, cute guy actually Cute, he's tall, he's good looking, he's got these bright, beautiful eyes and he turns to her and he's like hey, can I borrow a dime? I'm sorry, dude, only have one. He's like, but my call is super important, please, please. She's like. No, I can't Like. He keeps asking her and she starts to get a little bit annoyed. I absolutely can't do it, no matter how cutie is, she's not willing to part with this money. You know, after all it's her money. So she decides she's gonna keep it.
Speaker 1:But cute phone guy decides that this lady is also cute and it's time to flirt with her. So he's like hey, I promise I'll hang up if you give me your dime or I'll hang up if you make it worth my while. Immediately she pretends to be super up and I'm sure she's like 30% offended. But, like I said, this guy is very cute. And now he's starting to smile at her and whatever. They're engaging each other and she's like I beg your pardon, absolutely not. I am so appalled I can't believe you even asked me that so cute phone guy. He turns up the Annie a little bit, he starts flirting with her and he tells her why don't you smile? You look so beautiful when you smile. And she's like whatever, that's not funny. And so he twists his face and like this weird, he makes a funny face, quote, unquote. And she starts laughing and he's like, okay, perfect. Then he hangs up the phone and kind of saunters off. She's like I still got it, you know. Okay, we got to talk about this.
Speaker 1:Karen is indeed a beautiful woman, right. Obviously she's tan, it's in California, but she is baby or old up, much like Lance on Falcon Crest. She's toned it down a little bit on this episode Well, not on this episode, at this particular scene, because she has, you know, she's at a board meeting. She can't just let it all hang out, she has on her sleeves or whatever. But she was definitely like oh, I'm still cute. Turns out that dime is going to stay in her pocket because Sid comes running up after her right after that, so they go back into the meeting. She's definitely kind of riding that high, though, like you ever get a compliment, anyone ever stopped you. I'm like man, you look good today. Oh, you're beautiful. You know, I just put the little ziggy. Ziggy, can you step? So Sid, karen and cute phone guy saunter into the meeting which is already taking place.
Speaker 1:And Avery is going on and on about what a scumbag David Crain the teacher is bringing hookers and junkies and whatnot to the classroom to taint their children. He is giving his best Midwest tent revival evangelist sermon or to the parents there. One of the parents who happens to like him points out that well, he also gave them information on college and he gave them an opportunity to express their thoughts on religion, etc. Basically pointing out that, although he did one thing, it's like he's he's not leaning one way or another towards any particular topic. He seems to be just delivering information. Avery is not having. He's like the pointless moot. He brought hookers and whatnot into this, into our children's lives. Why would we allow that to happen?
Speaker 1:Well, it turns out that Mr Crain has shown up. He's bold, he wanted to attend the meeting just so he can kind of justify his actions, which is very fair. He goes on to say he doesn't teach morals. He teaches the kids to think by presenting information to him. So Richard is pissed that this guy had the audacity to come and show his face. And from all these parents of these trying to win over and like bring up good points, how dare you come into my face and tell me that this is a good idea? So Mr Crain, aka David Crain, is like well, let me, let me just tell you what I did. Richard's like no, let I'll tell you what. You don't tell me what you did. I tell you what you did. You'll tell me how right I am about, how wrong you were by doing the things you did.
Speaker 1:So Richard goes on and he's like did you bring a hooker to class? Crain is like yes, I definitely brought a hooker. Did you bring an ex-con? I absolutely did. Did you bring a drug addict? I absolutely did. Did you let someone shoot up in class? Which was? It was the biggest, like gaspy, shocking thing that Avery accused him of. And he goes I didn't bring, like, a drug addict to shoot up. If you say hooker, junkie, ex-con and then say someone shot up, people are going to presume that it was the drug addict who shot up in class. And he's like no, I brought a diabetic person into class to show the kids how they have to use insulin because they're diabetic. That's what I brought to class.
Speaker 1:So the crowd, the crowd begins to kind of stir and rumble a little bit, mostly from the tension in the room. Best I can tell when Mr Crain, aka cute phone guy, explains his methods and why they're so good for the students. It's just it's making everybody uncomfortable because he and Avery are super tense. Meanwhile my girl Karen is like oh, that's Mr Crain, he's super cute phone guy, of course. And Laura Avery's wife was like dang, he's cute. She says that a lot like dang, your boy's kind of hot. I don't know if I could participate in this riff-raff when he was a smally.
Speaker 1:So Avery tries his best. He's had enough because, the truth, truth be told, mr Crain is making a lot of sense. He's not doing anything diabolical, he's actually just presenting information. None of these people have tried to seduce or sway the kids one way or another. He just wants them to understand that there are people in the world who do certain things and you can make your mind up about it. I can tell you. But I can show you better than I can tell you.
Speaker 1:It's at this point that Avery tries to move the meeting next door and tells David Crain and no one's under him but he can't come with us. You can't sit with us, you can't sit with us, he's not wearing pink on Wednesday, so you can't sit with us. Crain refuses to go down swinging. He's not being brash, he's not being like super unreasonable. He says you know what? My methods are simple. And then he does the most audacious thing I've ever seen in my life he bends over, reminds you.
Speaker 1:Everybody's saying okay, I did not set this up. Well, this meeting, picture this. It's all happening within a library. So of course there's books everywhere, but of course in high school and I think in a lot of public libraries too, there's a lot of tables, so there's plenty of room for everyone to sit and listen. There is a crowd, they're all paying attention.
Speaker 1:So, as the only two people standing up for Crain and Avery, avery says okay, people, party, people, we're going to move this next door and this guy can't come, avery shouts my methods are simple. And then he leans over to where our good sis miscarried the setting and he gives her one of the most tender, passionate kisses I've ever seen in my life. And this isn't like a mmm on the cheek. He grabs her like that's his boo, like that's his long lost lover, like he's been in the war for 14 years and he's coming home to the woman he loved. They have mentally sent pictures to one another. They have been pinpals for 14 years. It is a welcome back, baby kiss.
Speaker 1:Sorry, guys, I was shook, I couldn't believe it, mind you. Mind you that Sid is sitting right next to her. Sid is completely unbothered, but he's shocked, but the whole room goes silent. Everybody's just like oh, what the what am I looking at here? Now, mr Cute Phone Guy? Fine, mr Crane raises up very slowly and he's like see, you are about to leave the room and have a whole meeting about me, but you stopped. That's how effective my methods are. That's how good a teacher I am. That is the why I do the things, I do when I do them, so that my students are left with an impression. Basically he might drops that whole meeting. So you know, he was the talk on the town, for sure for the next two weeks at least.
Speaker 1:But in the meantime and between time, right after this I guess, sid goes back to work, val and Karen go to dinner at this restaurant and of course they were shook, everybody saw it, and they basically go to talk about that and to talk crap about Richard. It would appear that although they like Richard, they only do the things they do as far as like going to this meeting and all that because for Karen they don't want him to take it out on Karen if people don't show up, which presents another kind of question in my mind about their relationship, because he seems important but not really like. He got angry when she didn't want to call that guy last time. Then he was like supportive on the beach but at the same time he knew her past, he knew she didn't want to do it. So it's kind of up in the air Very questionable. Anyway, their chatter, chitter, chitter, chitting, talking about how lame Richard is and how intense that whole kiss was.
Speaker 1:When all of a sudden here comes Mr David Crane. He pops up. He's looking all shiny and gorgeous, wants to thank Karen for her support and she's like you know, I don't know if I was supporting you. She did. She said something after the fact, like he wanted to know. I forgot to mention this part. He asked her at some point, right after he kissed her.
Speaker 1:In the meeting he made a statement that sometimes teenagers have thoughts and they have questions that they aren't always comfortable asking their parents. And it's not that he drags it out of them, they just happen to ask him. So if they ask him something like that's kind of provocative about teen pregnancy or something to that effect, then he goes out and he finds someone who's lived that experience and let them tell them, versus him telling his opinion about it. You see what I mean. So he's never actually giving an opinion, he's just handing them. He's giving them the resources, he's teaching them to be intelligent and figure out where to find information and Karen supported that within the meeting After the kiss. Of course I'm sure she would have done it before.
Speaker 1:Once you heard all the evidence, she made a statement. She's like my daughter and I are very, very close, but I can understand that she may not bring everything to me. I'm not opposed to the methods that I have heard of today. They seem quite reasonable. To him that was worth its weight in gold.
Speaker 1:Apparently he followed her and Val from the meeting to this restaurant and he sits down. He makes himself comfortable. Of course introductions are made. Hi, my name is Val Lien, you can call me Val when he's like so nice to meet you, val. Then he and Karen start talking and it's almost like they're on a date and you can just slowly see Val start to shrink back. I wanted to say Val Valien. So bad, val, okay. So before.
Speaker 1:Once he sits down, val is like her height man. She's telling him how hard working Karen is when it comes to family, community etc. Karen admits that she feels a little bit guilty. She probably goes so hard because she feels like she's the last gas of the silent generation and that the generation right after her that she's probably like like a zillennial whatever that would be for the silent generation and the boomers, the zoomers, the silent whatever. There's not a cool name, but she's that little bread right between what she probably identifies with the latter more than the former. But she was in the former group, so she, she feels like she's making up for lost time because right when she graduated college, then all the fun stuff started happening right after that.
Speaker 1:Val accepts her fate as she is quietly axed out of the conversation and David and Karen go on and on about life and you know poetry and peanut butter, yes, peanut butter. Prince Panty dropper, aka Mr Cute Phone Guy, aka Mr David Crane, drops a poem for your girl, karen, on the spot. Now this is the part where I would normally do soap lol theater and give you a loose interpretation of the poem presented, but I decided I can't do that to you guys, not today. I'm gonna play it for you. Verbatim straight from the horse's mouth. Okay, check this out.
Speaker 2:Eyes of brown, darker than peanut butter, tough to spread tears. The bread that sandwiches my admiration, confiding it, still hiding it. I know it's there, sticking to the roof of my expectations, the end.
Speaker 1:I couldn't have said it better myself, sandwiched between my expectations. Aye, wow, for what is worth? I don't know how to feel. I'm very confused right now. I think the poem was actually kind of good. It's just man. I visualized tough peanut butter. You know what color me impressed Peanut butter. He made a sandwich between my expectations or admiration. Whatever he said Wow, all right. Well, after that, karen is basically melted peanut butter in his. No, peanut butter is too sticky, she's butter, leave the peanuts out of it. She's melted butter in his hand. She goes home and she receives a call Once again.
Speaker 1:Knott's Landing has an amazing phone directory. Everyone's number is available to anyone at any time and people are using it willy-nilly out here. Mr Crane gives her a call and he's just like. I just wanted to make you know, ladies, you know that old line we first start dating your man. I just wanted to make sure you got home and time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so cute, I love it. You see, you feel lovey-dovey and good. She's so sweet, until you remember she's married. She's like oh yeah, sorry, sid.
Speaker 1:Life goes on and she's invited to his classroom the next day, where a teen who is pregnant she's recently emancipated from her parents comes into class and she starts explaining what her life is, what she thought it was going to be and how it turned out. She thought she'd be able to stay up late, but only she's too tired. She's pregnant. She thought that she wouldn't have to do housework. Now she has to have a real job. So she's giving the kids a blow-by-blow of what her life looks like and what she thought it was going to be. She thought she was going to be homecoming queen that year. Unfortunately, not, unfortunately. Alternatively, she will be a mother instead. So Karen sees this and Richard Avery shows up to class too, but he didn't really care. He's made up his mind. He is going to go for this kid's throat period, point blank. He wants that job on the school board.
Speaker 1:But Karen is moved and motivated and she says you know what? That's probably the best thing I've ever seen what you gave them. There's nothing you could have pulled out of a book. There's no film you could have shown. There's nothing you could have said that would have trumped what this young lady said. So she's like you know what? I'm going to help you. Consider me your campaign manager. I'm going to make flyers. I'm going to get the kids organized. Let me do my thing. We're going to make sure that you get to stay here. So sure enough, she starts campaigning and as the more they campaign together, the closer they grow, she starts staying out a little bit later.
Speaker 1:Her husband's not really feeling that Like why are you coming over to the clock? Because I was working already Told you that what you notice is that it's just a minor miscommunication at home. But things are amplified. Sid's not super pumped that she has taken on this new role against their neighbor. I'm sure Sid and Richard Avery are a little closer than Karen and Richard Avery. He doesn't want the tension and this is what bothered me. But I was kind of shocked. He wasn't bothered when Mr Crane kissed his wife in the mouth in front of God and everybody in the library, and he's not bothered that she's actually hanging out with him. He doesn't see the threat of another man, he just sees the threat of, like her, opposing their neighbor and what sort of tension that could bring. Their marriage is very interesting too. Although they're tight. I'm kind of wondering how that's going to play out a little bit later on. Foundation sets very, very good. Anyways, they start liking each other more and more.
Speaker 1:At one point, after one of the sessions, where all the kids are cutting out posters and doing whatever, making I don't know. You know things, things you do in a campaign David invites Karen out for a moonlight stroll. They're just a couple of feet away from the window. The kids are fine. Plus, these are high school kids. No one cares Like they can. This is long before kids with pressure. They didn't even have safety scissors. So the kids are doing whatever they're doing in the room.
Speaker 1:And he asked her outside. He's like hey, would you like to have lunch with me tomorrow? She's about to say yes, because lunch is midday, high noon, that's fine. Would you like to have lunch with me in my apartment? Oh, she's like oh, I can't. He's like Okay, okay, cool. He wants to know why. And she basically you know she pulls the same thing she did with JR. She told JR to buzz off. She tells him to drop it. Don't worry about why I can't come to your house. You know why I can't come to my house. Just don't make me say it. Okay. He says consider it, drop. But then he pulls an Okie-Doh, he bends over, he picks a flower and he gives it to her and then they share yet another kiss under the moonlight Very romantic.
Speaker 1:It is abundantly clear that he's feeling her, she's feeling him, she's feeling things she's not supposed to. So is he. He knows her situation, she knows her situation too, but neither of them can deny the, the just magnetic spark between the two of them. So she goes home and this is where her husband's pissed that she came in at 10 o'clock At. Tensions are rising, they have a little spat. Nobody's feelings are really that hurt. Hers especially aren't hurt because, guess what, she's still holding on to that flower, caressing her face and whatnot, probably thinking, if this doesn't work out, me and Mr Crane probably would make an okay couple. At least one of my kids likes them. Maybe she's just thinking. Is she going to explore those thoughts? Time will tell. Just a thought.
Speaker 1:So the next day Richard Avery comes out and he's pissed, like there. Of course she walks her husband to his car every morning. So Richard Avery comes out and he's like oh, I heard you working on a campaign. She tells him absolutely, I am. You were in the same classroom, I was. I just happened to hear something I thought was important and worth sharing, and I'm glad that a teacher like him is there at the school, and hence the title the aka.
Speaker 1:This episode comes from this line from Richard Avery. He's pissed. First off, richard Avery is doing team too much. Not only has he started his campaign to run for the board, for the school board, he bought a minivan or a kidnapping van painted blue. I legit don't know what those vans are called. They are kidnapping van or stoner vans or the Scooby-Doo Mystery Machine van. You know exactly what van I'm talking about. Don't act like you, don't? He's put posters all over the van. He has these bull horns all over it, which is completely useless, the more I think about it, unless they were wired.
Speaker 1:I wasn't looking that closely, I was just thinking oh my god, you're doing a lot for a school board, aren't you? So he crosses his arm and he looks at his neighbor. He's just disgusted. She's supposed to be on my side, we're supposed to be a team. And he goes. Well, would you feel that way about your teacher if he didn't have those curly blue eyes? You know, I found that. I thought truly I didn't hear that right. Would you feel that way about your teacher if he didn't have those curly blue eyes? And I'm like curly blue eyes. This made it past editing. Surely this means something. So I go to what all people go to. Now I went to the Urban Dictionary and it's not really an official term, it's kind of. Some people said it's like a term you say for someone who has light eyes and curly hair. And then the, the, the sorus word almost took my tongue out. I almost stroked out there the, the, the, the dictionary's cousin that starts with a T, told me that curly blue eyes were, curly was a style of hair, and eyes were these things that sit kind of towards the top of your face. I was like well, no, shit, right. But you know what? His curly blue eyes are the reason that she's betraying her neighbor. Oh gosh, all right, let's get to the get. This is running a little longer than I thought.
Speaker 1:The episode goes on with Sid being completely oblivious and totally not threatened by Mr Crane because he's a teacher. Who wants? Who wants to sleep with a teacher Little. This guy clearly went to an all-boys high school or something, I don't know. I don't know why he doesn't get this. I don't, as he never seen Indiana. You know what Indiana Jones wasn't out yet. Do y'all remember that scene in Indiana Jones, where the girl has written I love you on her eyelids. You know, if I try that, just my luck I would forget that the mirror had everything reversed. It would be so weird. People like what does that say, anyway? Or I'd sweat on my way to class and it just be smudged. I'm sorry guys. Okay, focus, focus, focus.
Speaker 1:He comes home one day. He's just totally oblivious, he thinks everything's fine and he has a. In my mind it's Teflon. He doesn't actually say what sort of material is on the pan, but he has Teflon fans and he's like Karen, karen, come here, come here quickly. And she's all greased up. You know she looks hot. He tells her get me a piece of cheese from the fridge. She's like cheese and he's heating the pan on the stove. He's like look, look, the lady. A lady at the car dealership brought me these pans. Nothing will stick to him. So he burns damn cheese on the pan and then he picks up a saltine and he scoops it up and he feeds it to her.
Speaker 1:Now I don't want to discredit him because I still get very excited over the thought of Things not sticking to a pan. It's always impressive to me. I Love an infomercial where they burn cheese or do like caramel on a pan and then it just swivels like butter. I'm like, oh my god, that's impressive. Anyone who ever has had to scrub a pan for 10 minutes, you want, it's impressive, but it just wasn't the right time. And he shoves a saltine in her mouth.
Speaker 1:And right about this time she gets a call from you know who, doctor love, aka Prince panty dropper, aka cute guy on the phone and he's like hey, why don't you come on over? And in the Subtext of that is I think it's time for us to go ahead and do what we're. But what's both on our mind? She's like, bet, I just need 20 minutes and half a bottle of baby oil and I'll be right there. So she goes out of her respectable house sleep dress and she goes and she puts on the spaghetti straps because Karen works out, okay. She puts on her baby oil and then she remembers she's a respectable member of the community and she puts on a mom cardigan so that she can leave. So nobody knows she may or may not be on her way to a midday romp, snow, ones business, right.
Speaker 1:So she gets to his apartment and guys at that. I just wish I could focus a little harder. Soon, as she knocks on the door, I'm like, wait a minute, because of course we're seeing it from the inside out. He's answering the door and she we can see her in the hallway. It's cliffs apartment, I recognize. You can go back and watch any episode where cliff pops up in season 3 and it's always kind of bugged me on cliffs door.
Speaker 1:Cliffs door has this vertical window pane that reminds me of a school and I always thought, like, is this? Did they just use someone's office? It runs, you like of an office building, kind of a generic building, not an apartment. No one's apartment would have this slit in the door. Well, this is before they give it to cliff. But in Undalus they simply cover the window pane with wallpaper, as If it was designed to be that way. But it's cliffs apartment, except it doesn't have that hideous couch with those horrible pillows. Doesn't matter, because mr Crane has got it squeaky clean. He knew he was having company.
Speaker 1:Karen comes over with a cardigan, baby oil and sun dressed hair up, of course, because she's got to show off that back and he's pouring wine, which is a bold move from a man wearing white goucho pants Creepin, what colors? It's like a peach silk shirt. So they have a little vino and you know things start to get. You know you think things are heating up. But it flashes back to the house where Sid is showing their daughter those Teflon pans and she's like oh, that's great, he was, I got him for your mom. She's you got my mom pans. Like how lame is that, he still doesn't get it. So back at David Crane's apartment he's in a silk shirt, white pants, full glass of vino and he's like I made up my bed that.
Speaker 1:Then I thought about it. I want to seem too presumptuous so I can unmake it if you want, and we can. Just he thinks it's about to go down and it really was about to go down. But Karen had a moment of clarity and she's like I got to be honest with you. I can't do this. This isn't who I am.
Speaker 1:I will say you Made me feel young and sexy, because sometimes I look in the mirror and I see a wrinkle where I didn't see one, or I Reach for something that was super firm and now it's a little saggy and you had me feeling like a young, vital, hot woman for the first time. He says something a little not poetic, he goes. That's exactly why we should be together, because for both hot. He didn't say it exactly at that, I'm paraphrasing. You can watch it for yourself. But basically you are as hot as you think you are, which is why we should be in my bedroom, because I just made up my bed.
Speaker 1:She tells me you know, fine, I can't do this, but you have just really sparked something inside of me and I I Still want to respect myself in the long run. You made me remember the parts of me that I really, really like, and that is the best thing you could have ever done for me. You reminded me why I like being myself, and if I go in that room with you, I'm not gonna like being myself. Well said, what a class act. No harm, no foul. Changed her mind. He's like. You know. I respect that. That's totally not what I thought you'd say. I thought you'd say something about your marriage, and you know things like that. I kind of thought I would too, but no, but I appreciate you. Curly blue eyes. At the end of the day, she ends up going home where her husband is working on an engine in the garage and he's talking about if it's lighter, it goes faster and she's like speaking of revving up engines. I'm already warmed up. Maybe I'm gonna go upstairs, but I'm pop-up. That's the end of the show.
Speaker 1:Once again, not planning was absolutely fantastic. I can't wait to watch episode four. Join me next time as we jump into that one. I don't know what it's called, but it's. I have high hopes. I am so glad I decided to give these guys another chance. Gary actually wasn't in this show. Gary was missing this whole show. I guess the whole JR episode was too much for him, or he's trying to make money selling cars. I don't know where he was, but I didn't really miss a much. I thought that every episode would kind of revolve around Val the way Val and he and another couple, but it was fun to see. The dynamic is between other people on the street. All right, guys, join me next time. In the meantime, in between time, but care of yourself. In case you deserve it, say hi to rated and most rise, mind your own business and keep all of your drama on TV.