Welcome or Welcome back Soap Fiends and Aficionados to another fun filled addition of Soaplore- the Knots Landing Takeover.
Picture the moment when Gary's champagne toast spirals into a tempest of raw emotion and dark habits. Through the intense season finale of "Knots Landing," I, Jett, guide you on a gripping ride through the heart of vintage primetime soap operas. Unravel the threads of a tightly-knit community in Knot's Landing as we explore Gary's highs and lows, celebrating his business victories and confronting the demons of addiction that threaten to undermine his success. As Valene's crucial decisions loom, we brace ourselves for the fallout, promising you an analysis filled with the depth and drama these beloved characters deserve.
Sidestep into Gary’s chaotic day that mirrors a "Dynasty" brawl, where a music dispute at a bar cascades into a series of life-altering events. I share the experience of watching Gary's personal and professional worlds collide, leading to a confrontation that blurs the lines of friendship and self-destruction. We'll dissect the poignant moments beneath the pier where Gary's downward spiral reaches a painful nadir, offering a stark reflection of the real-life battles fought against addiction. Join me as we dissect the emotional exchanges and support Valene's silent struggle, feeling the chill of indifference from those they considered friends.
Finally, as we prepare to close the curtain on this chapter of Soap Lore, I invite you to reflect on the impact of personal choices on our relationships and reputations. Witness the consequences of Gary's questionable decisions, including the poignant loss of a family treasure. Our journey together is a reminder to keep our own lives free of the drama we relish on screen. So, buckle up and tune in for a sudsy saga that's sure to stir the soul and keep the intrigue bubbling over until " Bottom of the Bottle" pours out its next twist.
Welcome or Welcome back Soap Fiends and Aficionados to another fun filled addition of Soaplore- the Knots Landing Takeover.
Picture the moment when Gary's champagne toast spirals into a tempest of raw emotion and dark habits. Through the intense season finale of "Knots Landing," I, Jett, guide you on a gripping ride through the heart of vintage primetime soap operas. Unravel the threads of a tightly-knit community in Knot's Landing as we explore Gary's highs and lows, celebrating his business victories and confronting the demons of addiction that threaten to undermine his success. As Valene's crucial decisions loom, we brace ourselves for the fallout, promising you an analysis filled with the depth and drama these beloved characters deserve.
Sidestep into Gary’s chaotic day that mirrors a "Dynasty" brawl, where a music dispute at a bar cascades into a series of life-altering events. I share the experience of watching Gary's personal and professional worlds collide, leading to a confrontation that blurs the lines of friendship and self-destruction. We'll dissect the poignant moments beneath the pier where Gary's downward spiral reaches a painful nadir, offering a stark reflection of the real-life battles fought against addiction. Join me as we dissect the emotional exchanges and support Valene's silent struggle, feeling the chill of indifference from those they considered friends.
Finally, as we prepare to close the curtain on this chapter of Soap Lore, I invite you to reflect on the impact of personal choices on our relationships and reputations. Witness the consequences of Gary's questionable decisions, including the poignant loss of a family treasure. Our journey together is a reminder to keep our own lives free of the drama we relish on screen. So, buckle up and tune in for a sudsy saga that's sure to stir the soul and keep the intrigue bubbling over until " Bottom of the Bottle" pours out its next twist.
You think I can't take a sip or two of a beverage? You think I have to act a fool. You think I'm an actor? You think I'm acting up? Matter of fact, maybe you're acting up.
Speaker 1:Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome or welcome back to Soap War, the official gathering place for movies, novels and OG diehard fans of the golden age of primetime. I'm your host, jeff, and we're here with you in reviewing the filthiest, fuzziest primetime storyline of 1980. The spinoff that could, the one that got away from us. Yes, it is the iconic North Landing takeover. We're in the final countdown. It is episode 12, where we finally get to the crux of the situation with Gary. So, whether you're new to this or true to this, sit back and enjoy. For the kids it's time to play outside or out of sight, tell babe no questions, suggestions or concerns for the foreseeable future. We might need a few days, ladies and gentlemen, to get through this, everyone else in earshot. Oh my god, we've been patient. You can be cool, quiet or get the hell out of dodge, because we have got to get to the bottom of this particular story. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is Soapy World. Welcome or welcome back, soap Queens. Howdy, how, howdy y'all.
Speaker 1:Okay, we're in the final countdown, we're on the last two episodes of the season and surprise, surprise, it's a cliffhanger. This seems to be par for the course in vintage primetime soap. Now I gotta admit full disclosure. Maybe the last full-on primetime soap operas Now I got to admit full disclosure. Maybe the last full-on primetime soap opera that I watched was Grey's Anatomy slash, whatever the one was where McSteamy's ex-wife had the spinoff. I can't remember if there's a cliffhanger or not, I guess it's just, I sort of expected it. But back in the 80s you don't just do a cliffhanger, you do a two-parter. But back in the 80s you don't just do a cliffhanger, you do a two-parter. This two-parter is called bottom of the barrel, bottom of the bottle, not the barrel. Let me be respectful to the alcoholics in soap opera land. Okay, he's not drinking a barrel, he's drinking a bottle, full disclosure. I haven't watched this yet, but it makes so much sense. For those of you who've been with me from the beginning. You know how much I adore you. I absolutely love you. Guys. I'm going to send out some free t-shirts just because that's what I do, but it made me realize that. Okay, if you've been watching this from the beginning, and, if you're smarter than me, or just more privy I had.
Speaker 1:I literally had no idea that Knotts Landing had anything to do with Dallas. I had no idea that it was a spinoff for for a vast majority of my podcasting time. When I did find out, though, I was like, oh my God. I literally thought it was going to be Lucy's storyline push forward, not Gary the freaking Dunn. But here we are. Am I disappointed? Absolutely not. I think it's safe to say that season one of Knot's Landing is experimental right. There's no through storyline here. It is a cul-de-sac that actually enjoys one another's company, and they keep each other's secrets, and the best part of this show is that every character on this show knows that they are flawed in some way. That's all we really got. So, with that being said, I didn't come into this with a huge amount of expectation.
Speaker 1:Here we are in the final countdown. I'm going to be honest, I haven't watched the show just yet. I'm going to press pause, finish off this intro, watch the whole thing and then come back with the retro rundown. We're going to give you the synopsis of this show, since it's a two-parter, and give you all the um particulars that stood out to me on this episode. It's kind of funny, coming into this as someone who's not really familiar with the show and also as someone who has been watching shows for the last two years, I didn't know this was coming. So when I watched the premiere of season four of Dallas, and Gary is on there evangelizing the 12 step program, I didn't really think a lot of it. I thought it was talking about his general existence period. I didn't know he had an episode. But we're going to get into his episode and I can't wait to see how Val, the Vidalia Onion Queen, valene excuse me, I call her Valvaline. For years I actually went back and listened to a couple episodes and you know what her name might be Valvaline, Valvaline, the California Dream. Valene, the Vidalia Onion Queen. She, she has to make some decisions and we're going to jump into that straight away. So go ahead and pour yourself up a delicious bubble bath. Pour yourself up a bubbly beverage. Either way, we already know this is going to be one of the soapiest episodes of this entire series.
Speaker 1:Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I present to you season one, episode 12, bottom of the Bottle, part one Soap fiends, soap fiends, soap fiends. This one was a doozy. I need to go back and figure out who wrote this one, because they show their entire behind on this Tens across the board. Every single scene was amazing. I mean that every single scene was absolutely amazing. And this is only part one. I had to run it back and think okay, I've got to stay on track with this one.
Speaker 1:Picture this Gary Ewing, with the innocence of a man who's never heard of Tinder, has the audacity this episode to ask Val about her romantic handlings while they were apart. Mind you, they were apart for like 15 years. Number two, Kenny's girlfriend is extremely disrespectful. She needs to go back and listen to the side chick episode where we break it down, the rules and regulations of not being the main one. Oh, we have to give it up for the bartenders and liquor store clerks. We have to give it up for the bartenders and liquor store clerks, the unsung heroes who can tell a sob story from a sobriety test with just one look Magnify. Then I had another unlocked memory blast from the past 1979, crown Victoria, stop what you're doing, google it, and then we'll get back to that a little later on in this episode. And lastly, gary has a crawl of shame, which I think this episode is going to be titled Gary's Crawl of Shame. Baby, bottom of the bottle went to the bottom of the barrel, the bottom of necessity and need and all the dark parts you don't want to talk about with yourself. Oh, baby, enough of this jaw jacking, let's get into it.
Speaker 1:Okay, so the show opens up. Once again. They are having a little bit of a shindig, a little party, a little disco fee, weird music that is unlicensed, obviously, so that they don't get fined, but anyway, there is a get down at Sid and Karen's house. Once again, everybody is having a great time. When Sid makes an announcement that turns the course of this entire episode and Gary's life, he says hear ye, hear ye. I'd like to introduce to you all Gary Ewing, vp of blah blah blah car dealership. I own, vp what? Oh my gosh. Everybody is pumped and it seems like some of the other women have already had a couple of drinks. Val and Gary are gobsmacked. What Sid's like? Yeah, gary, I am promoting you for a job that you've been doing very well for the last umpteen months. Color me impressed, brother. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1:He's like oh my god, gary is just like he's hitting the fields because this is really rewarding this. Think about it is the first time in his life where he has just he's got to exercise his business acumen. He's got to do something on his own, without the help of his family. His name doesn't mean boo in this town and he is killing it, as Sid puts it. Y'all, every time I turn around, this man is building me an empire. He's got fleets. I've got this, that and the third. Every time I turn around, he's really I mean I'm finna be somebody, because Gary is that dude, he is him. Gary's like damn, he's damn near in tears, like, oh my God, thank you, boo Thanks. And Val and him are just like they're embracing. Oh my God, he.
Speaker 1:We made it, we're doing it, and it's such like a moment of elation because you don't really see a lot of Gary, even though he's the star of the spinoff. You don't really see a lot of Gary. He's, he's behind the scenes, working. Apparently he's doing what to do. Now the champagne comes out, because this is a celebratory moment.
Speaker 1:It's at this moment too that we, the audience, realize that the rest of the gang don't know why Gary doesn't drink a lot. They just know he doesn't really drink. They don't know. It's because he's an alcoholic. So Richard goes over and he's like Gary, I know you don't drink, this isn't drunk champagne, this is sipping champagne, this is celebratory champagne. You have to drink it, it's in your honor. So he pours a little glass and immediately you can see Valene sort of tense, but she's trying to keep it cool. It's one of those knee jerk reactions but she's trying to just keep that. She's trying not to kill the vibe.
Speaker 1:Gary, at first he resists a little bit and he's like oh, you know what the heck Sure. He takes a sip, probably thinking this is a happy occasion. Why wouldn't? I has a little champagne and they continue to disco down the night away. He's like let's boogie woogie. Pretty lady. Maybe I'm not joking, perhaps I don't have the words down verbatim, but he says something to that effect let's, let's boogie woogie, let's cut a rug, let's, let's squiggle, wiggle, whatever people their age do.
Speaker 1:So by the end of the night, val of course was nervous, but everything seems to go on without a hitch. He seems a little bit tipsy, but there's nothing. I mean nothing to be concerned of nothing off the charts. Val helps him home and she wants to go to bed, but he's kind of riding the wave for the night. He's high. He's high on life, not high on drugs, just like wow, babe, can't even believe we're doing this. Here's where it starts to get a little bit ugly, though. So valine I watched this a couple of times.
Speaker 1:She doesn't say anything, she doesn't really change her demeanor. She's like oh, my goodness, I'm so tired, let's go to bed. He's like bed. Why are we going to bed? You're suddenly tired or are you miffed that I decided to have a drink? You think I can't handle having a drink? She's just like oh, my Lord, lord, don't make any sudden movements.
Speaker 1:Valene, the Onion Queen, just keep it cute. She's like no darling, if anything. I'm just tired. We've been dancing the night away. I just need a little rest. That's all Gare. Oh, oh, oh, oh. You say oh.
Speaker 1:You saying I don't know how to handle my liquor. You, you think I can't take a sip or two of a beverage. You think I have to act a fool. You think I'm an actor. You think I'm acting up? Matter of fact, maybe you're acting up.
Speaker 1:Why don't you tell me who you were sleeping with while we were separated? She's like holy sir, rewind that back. All I said is I need to go to bed. That's it. That's it, that's all. Yeah, we never talked about who you hooked up with.
Speaker 1:Then he says I might have gotten this wrong. I listened to this like four times and I can't quite tell you what he said. But he said I hadn't had a drink in two years and you don't like it. And she's like gary for the umpteenth time. Is not that deep? I don't like drinking, but you can drink if you want. I'm fine, he goes. You must have somebody better. When we were separated we never talked about that. And she's like oh my god.
Speaker 1:Then he says I think chuck your little bucket back to whoever wrote and rumbled your chain, your chimes. Chuck your little bucket back to whoever rumbled your chimes. He gets real country because you know he starts drinking. And I find myself, throughout this episode, talking like them. Texas is as Texas does. You can't shake it off. But he even got lit. Now he's acting a teetotal fool. And she's like Gary. If you don't call what, calm down, I ain't been with nobody ever. Yeah, right, yeah, right. Now the audacity for me, sir. You ran off on this woman when she had an infant. She comes back.
Speaker 1:Lucy is a grown woman at SMU, studying, driving, dating grown men, married men, unmarried men, doctors, men in the closet, men out of the closet. She done been with half of Dallas and almost hooked up with Kenny. Now he wonder who you been with 15 years, sir? Who have you been with? Who you been with 15 years? Circle if you've been with.
Speaker 1:Speaking of husbands, with the audacity we go over to ginger's house now, mind you, everybody is super tired because everybody had a little champagne. They were doing a lot of celebrating. She's in bed. Kenny didn't make it to the celebration but suddenly the phone rings. She's probably thinking it's him. She answers the phone and it's a woman hello, ginger. Ginger's like yeah, hello, yes, hi, it's sylvie. We met a couple times.
Speaker 1:Fyi, sylvie is a girl from the episode where kenny wanted to have the house party but ginger didn't. She just wanted to have a box of pizza and go down to the beach and relax. Remember that sylvie was the one singing and whatnot. That's sylvie. So sylvie's like yeah, I was just calling. Is kenny home? And ginger's like no, looking at the clock, it's midnight. No, he hasn't made it home yet, sylvie. Oh, that's weird. He should have been home now. He left my place about 30 minutes ago. Oh well, okay, well, would you let her know that I called. Talk to you later, girl bye. And ginger is like okay, hangs up like I'm. Oh, I don't know how we got here, but this is where we are. My husband's side chick just left a message with me. I'll be a lady and give him a message.
Speaker 1:This night is fading fast over at sid and karen. They're trying to get something going. You know what I mean. They're grown. It's a celebratory occasion. Gary's going to be VP. The dealership's doing great. They're trying to make something romantic happen. When all of a sudden, they start hearing all this hooping and hollering out in the street, knowing what the heck. So they get up, they go outside and sure enough, it is Gary showing his entire behind.
Speaker 1:Gary Ewing is yelling at Valene for not treating him like a loser, like he can't handle his liquor. He can handle his liquor. Matter of fact, check out this. I'm going to do a Formula One race car stunt. Pull off, see what I can do with a little champagne in my system. He peels out in a mint green car. Now, later I had to do my digging because I was aghast, never mind the domestic disturbance, I was like, oh my god, I've only seen that color on like toilets from back in the day. What the heck they have cars that's booger green anyway. He peels off. For me any grown man who would pick a booger green toilet seat color car? That's enough reason for me to start questioning my life choices if I were him and not Gary Ewing, he's just. I can't believe you, valene. Mind you, she didn't say boo. She didn't say nothing to him about his tendency, not a word.
Speaker 1:So Gary heads to the bar where a wonderfully moral bartender tells Gary you know what, sir? I think it's time to wrap it up. He's cut off. But this busty broad from Tejas comes strolling over, laying on that southern charm, and is really working for him in his boozy haze. He says hey, sweet thing, why don't you come dance with me? Why don't you come with me? We can go to my place for a nightcap Now. It must be something about the familiarity of her southern drawl or the fact that she is going to give him what he wants that draws him in. She offers to take him to her place and he accepts. Now can he strife when I ask y'all come strolling in the house even later than after midnight. I don't know what time he gets there, but it's late.
Speaker 1:But he has the audacity to climb into bed chest naked and start rubbing up and filling up his wife, ginger. Now she plays along. At first they start kissing and whatnot, but then Ginger's like oh yeah, your girlfriend Sylvie called about half an hour after you left her house. He's like wait, wait, who what? He starts stutter, stepping. She's like man, I thought you were cooler than that. I can't believe you got your girlfriend calling my house. And he's like no, no, no, baby, it's different. You know it's different. She's going to be a superstar. So I have to work on her album. I've got to work on the cover. You know what it is. It's just about work. She's going to be a superstar. She's going to make us a lot of money. Now it's an us problem. You see, believe you did this.
Speaker 1:So the next morning Val goes over to Sid and Karen's to announce that Gary still isn't home. She's already told them last night, after he peeled out and left her in that booger green car, that Gary was an alcoholic. When he runs off like this, he ain't coming back right away. Now Sid, this whole time is just thinking oh, he had a little bit to drink, he'll be, be fine. He doesn't know the seriousness of it. Even after she told him he was an alcoholic, he reiterates that oh, don't worry, val, he'll be back in a minute and this, you know what? Today is not the day. Sid Val is not in the mood for his obtuseness. She's like this is an alcoholic. He's going to do alcoholic, sane mind, sound mind, person activities. He's going to act up. Okay.
Speaker 1:So now I have to go running up and down all the knots landing, looking in every bar to see where he is. Why don't we start with the ones closest to the house? Now karen gets it a look like yeah, she's right. Why don't you shut up and just help her? So he's like okay, cool, I'll go with you, don't worry, we'll go. Where should we start out? She's like, like I said, we're to start out at the bar that's closest to the house and then we'll just make our way out. That's what we're going to have to do Now. I mean quiet, as cat Valerie is Valerie, vanita Vidalia Val is a pro. She knows exactly where to check and all the hot spots and I'll be damned if she's not right.
Speaker 1:So they end up at the bar, where the bartender reluctantly tells Sid that Gary left with a busty bra last night. So Sid and Val head over to the nearest hotel motel, holiday Inn and they spot the puke green car pretty quickly. Since privacy is not a thing in 1980, they have no problem figuring out what room these two are in and they head right on up to room 16. Only it's just boobs mcgillicuddy in the silk rope, all by herself. Boobs mcgillicuddy tells sid that it's just her and that the dude she was with is gone. Val's like no, he's not gone.
Speaker 1:Where's my? Why is my car out here in the parking lot? Texas titty says uh, that's not your car, no more, baby, that's mine. I bought that car for that man last night for $400. All the money I had in the world. And I bought that car off him. He talking about he needs some spending money. He said he's on his way to Vegas. Truth be told, he ain't making no fur in that bar across the street. Then he went on a tour up and down the coast. He went to the next one, and the next one, so on and so on.
Speaker 1:Now why she tell her all that? I don't know FY, I don't know FYI. This is a 1979 Crown Vic and the colorway pine glow is best I can tell. I guarantee you that car is still on the road today, I guarantee you. And for those of you counting, $400 in 1979, 1980 is about $1,500 today, which is a pretty good deal for a car, especially a car like that, that you can run up upwards of 200,000 miles. Now why sister Texas titties wouldn't just calm down? I don't know why she chose to give all that information. I really don't know.
Speaker 1:This would have been a great time to just chill, but Miss Brastica could have just gone back into the room, gathered her cleavage-bearing clothes and climbed into that green grandpa car, went on about her business. But she just had to take a jab at our dear old Valene the Vidalia onion queen. She says, as Sid and Valene are walking off, I'm not my brother's keeper, just his lover. I feel sorry for you, honey. That man of yours don't care nothing about nothing but that bottle. Now I wish our good sister Valene the Vidalia onion queen would have turned around and quipped that it's pretty weird to be your brother's lover or at least, at the very least, made some backwoods genealogy remark. But the best she can come up with is sure it does. It just depends on the woman. Girl. Now, that's all fine, well and good. If your man isn't on a major bender selling your car and whatnot, that's all fine, well and good. If your man isn't on a major bender selling your car and whatnot.
Speaker 1:Gary is indeed in a bar in the middle of the day starting some crap with a couple of dudes just trying to enjoy their bar food lunch. He picks a fight when they make a snide remark about the music gary has on repeat. They've been listening to this ish for the last hour. They're over it. So you know a fist fight pops off, because that's what drunk people do. Now, at first Gary is doing all right. I got to admit he can hold his own.
Speaker 1:The fight is very, very reminiscent of the fight on Dynasty Season 1, where Matt Blaisdell went into the bar and goes off because those guys are making fun of Steven and he's fighting that guy in that members only jacket. Go back and listen to that. I have a whole argument on why you shouldn't fight in a jacket, but you know that's Gary's fate tonight. He's in a sports coat and he's doing okay at first, but it's two against one. The guys end up beating him down. Once they're done, they're like Ooh, okay, so you wanted the wings? Yeah, yeah, he'll have the wings, I'll have the nachos. Nachos, we need refills on our beers. They're minding their business, basking in the glow of that beat now, and they just gave Gary.
Speaker 1:Gary's not done. He jumps up, he starts splinging glasses, swinging pool stick. He just goes off and the bartender's like you know what. First fight's on me. Second fight you got to talk to the LAPD or the KLPD. Sure enough, he calls the police to come and get this riffraff, aka Gary Ewing, out of his bar.
Speaker 1:Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it Val and Sid arrive right about this time and they get to see Gary escorted out of the bar in handcuffs. Sid immediately calls Karen and says Karen, come pick me up. I'm going to leave my keys with Val so she can go and pick up Gary down at the police station. Sure enough, she picks him up. Doesn't seem to be a big deal, it's just a little bit of a drunken bar fight. This is long before Twitter and the internet, and it would take days before the paper picked up the story if they even cared.
Speaker 1:Valene picks him up from the police station. He's huffy, puffy, pissed off, gary, per usual. By the time they get home he's talking about running upstairs getting a shower. He's got to get ready for work. And Val's like oh, don't worry, honey, don't worry about it, I don't think Sid's expecting you today.
Speaker 1:Well, this triggers his second outburst. He flips out oh, why Damn it, valene, why you go off telling all my business. Now you got the whole world in my business. Now they think I'm a drunk because of you. She's like what, excuse me, god, you and your big fat mouth, mind you, he's ripped off his shirt like he's Bruce Lee or something at this point, huffing and puffing, going off on her. He goes and takes a shower. She is led to believe that he's going to sleep off this drunken state. That's her thoughts for the day. So she makes herself scarce. She goes running around with other women of the cul-de-sac doing little chores so that he can have this time in peace and quiet. Mind you, she still hasn't said boo about him being drunk, about him being an alcoholic. All she said was you know what, babe? I don't think Sid. You know Sid's, know you had a rough night. He's not looking for you to come in today. He don't want to hear that. Gary Ewing ever.
Speaker 1:The salesman insists that he's going to close this deal. He heads over to the dealership and he's extra hyped up. You know you can tell he's overcompensating because everybody knows he was drunk the night before ie, sid, and he's like, oh my gosh, it's going that line. He starts singing the song and says finally, like dude, just chill, chill, chill, listen, your business is your business. I'm not in your business like that. Listen, I want you to go and close this deal. I trust you to do it. If you feel up to it, go for it. So he does.
Speaker 1:He makes it to lunch with there where these guys are all carpe diem and whatnot, and the future is ours and we're gonna have cars with that ride, 50 miles a gallon and blah, blah, blah. Like they. Like they have this vision, they're pumped about it, they're excited. But Gary's sitting there kind of stoic, he's being very quiet because he's coming off this bender, he's coming down, all the alcohol has escaped his system pretty much and so he's drinking coffee and the guys are ordering martinis and at first he resists the temptation. Then he's like you know what, nevermind, waitress, I'll take a martini too. Well, you know what that turns into. Doesn't really matter, because he is in Ewing and although he's not a Ewing, he deals in oil. He's still a wheeler and a dealer. So he's able to close the deal and he stumbles back to Sid's car shop telling him about the good news. Oh yeah, dude, dude, we got this. It's gonna be right, gonna be so awesome. And Sid's like okay, dude, did you have a drink? Gary's like it's America, isn't it? It's a martini lunch, it's what we do, facts. And Sid's like I know, but you're an alcoholic. He's like what are all these accusations? Did Valene tell you that? Valene told you I was an alcoholic. I'll tell you what you can. Shove this job, I quit. He goes storming off. It's just like oh my God, what actual F?
Speaker 1:Meanwhile, on the other side of town, kenny and his side piece are fresh out of bed after doing the do and his girlfriend's getting really tired of being the side chick, girlfriend's getting really tired of being the side chick. She's not liking their arrangement and she tells him as much. And she is rightfully confused because she says you don't even seem like you're married, like you're always here with me, can kind of hang out with you pretty much whenever I want. What is all this? Why can't we have more? And he, he flips out a little bit. You know what it it is. I have a marriage, this is this and blah, blah, blah. And don't ever question me about it. And another thing why were you calling my house the other night? What did you want? And she's all bashful because she didn't really want anything. She just kind of wanted to stir up trouble to see if it was actually a thing. But Ginger didn't curse her out. So she's really just like oh okay, I guess he's both our men, we are sharing him, I suppose. So he gets up to storm off. But then he remembers oh yeah, I'm getting free, nookie. So he flips around and he says okay, well, what do you want to do about that? She goes okay, well, I guess I'll see you soon. And he's like you, just tell me when Nothing has changed. He did, he laid down no law, he law. He made nothing abundantly clear to her, he just continued. He agreed to continue on this whole, whatever it is. Basically just told her just name the place and time, baby.
Speaker 1:So Sid goes home at the end of the day and he finds Val and Karen moving around some trees and stuff that they got at the garden center. Karen tells him, tells Sid, that he's going to take the whole night. He's going to take them, meaning she and the Ewings, out to dinner that night. And he's like, okay, cool, no problem. Still doesn't say anything. He's just flipping through the mail like nothing happened.
Speaker 1:Valene, after hearing this, says okay, well, let me run home and wake up. Gary, I'm sure he's still asleep. He was out, he was a little fussy this morning, but I'm sure he slept it off by now. He should be cool. And Sid's like, oh god, no, valene, you know he went to work today. So he went to work.
Speaker 1:Why'd you let him go to work? Well, he had a deal he wanted to close. Why'd you let him close a deal, don't you know? He's an alcoholic. Valid point, valene. Well, sid's like I'm not my brother's keeper. She's like, oh my gosh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Now I'm sounding like the alcoholic just blaming someone for these problems, but I wish he wouldn't have let him run the deal. He had drink. He had a drink at lunch.
Speaker 1:So it's like yeah, she's like okay, well, he's, he's gonna be gone, he's not gonna come home and she starts to crumble and fall apart because in her mind, as she explains to them, this is scarier to me than any other bender I've ever seen him on, because, at least least back in the day, he was doing it because his family was stressing him out, he was under duress, he was sad, he was depressed, he was using alcohol to cope, but this was a happy occasion. And he's doing the exact same thing Like this sucks. This kid's just an alcoholic. He's always running from responsibility. He can't handle himself. It's too much. And Sid is watching, listening to her and he's like you know, valene, I think these are the two sides of the same coin. Fear of success and fear of failure are on the same playing field. And it's just. He's afraid of the unknown and this is his way of pacifying it. She's like damn, that's deep, that's deep, that's deep, that's deep. Okay, okay, okay, I'll allow it, I guess, but it doesn't change her present today. She's got to figure out where to start looking for him and when he's going to come home.
Speaker 1:Speaking of home, Kenny goes home. He's lying on this beanbag listening to music, flipping through the photos of his girlfriend, his side piece, sylvie. He's looking at all of Sylvie's pictures that she took for her album cover and then he has a nerve to hold them up to gender. He's like hey, which one do you like? And she's like get the crap out of my house. I can't believe you have the audacity. Don't do that. Don't do that, don't do me, do not run it. Forgive my language. Y'all, take it to the office, don't bring that to my house. And he goes. I'm so sick of these accusations. Does that sound familiar? If you got something to say, just say it. Cool. Ginger girds her loins and says Kenny, are you having an affair with Sylvie? With all the audacity and the boldness and innocence of a 10-year-old boy, he looks her in her eye and says no. After this woman has called the house, all but announced oh, he just got through banging me and he's not home yet. Okay, that's weird. Have him call me when he comes in. It's like that and you're going to look this woman in her face, but again she takes it. Okay, I'm getting off track. Let's finish this episode, then we'll talk about that.
Speaker 1:So Gary is floating around Knott's Landing and it's night. By this point he's on the pier and he's at the highest. He's like on the landing deck and then there are stairs below him. There's a group of men approaching him. There are varying ages, races, but they have one thing in mind, sir we are here to relieve you of your wallet. It is the most polite robbing I've ever seen on television. Gary doesn't want any trouble, so he takes off his jacket. They uh then rummage through his jacket, remove his wallet and they're pleased with what they find in his wallet. Thank you, sir. That's it, that's all. Now. He wants to fight one of them, but they're like sir, please do your math. If you swing on one of us, we're all jumping in. So he thinks about it. He thinks about the fact that he's on an incline, that he's got on a suit coat yeah, probably not a sports coat, blazer, whatever you call it. Probably not the best circumstance. So he's like you know, I'm gonna take this l and I'm gonna walk away. Good evening, gentlemen.
Speaker 1:Meanwhile, sweet little Valene and Karen are waiting up for Gary to come home and Karen's getting tired. She's yawning all big, and Valene has a little house on the prairie gown. So you know there's not going to be no fooling around once Gary stumbles into the door and she's like Karen, I can't have you waiting up for this idiot. Just go home. And I just, I don't know if I can do it, no more. Karen's like girl, don't even. We all know you. We call you the little engine that could behind your back. You are the toughest, most determined woman we've ever met. You got this baby. Don't let this shake you.
Speaker 1:And another thing it is foolhardy for you to not expect some sort of setback. And Valene's like what do you mean? Why am I the fool? She said you ain't the fool. Fool, don't just listen to what I'm saying. I'm saying that when somebody is making major changes in their life anybody, for better or for worse, there's going to be a setback or two. You can't expect a man who was a raging alcoholic not to have a setback or two from time to time. When he has all this success, it's par for the course. Baby is nature. You just gotta let this ride out. Stay strong, stay vigilant. Valine, you are the vidalia onion queen. You're gonna get through this easiest pie. She's like. All right, girl, thank you. Thank you for the words of wisdom.
Speaker 1:I think gary seems to be in a haze and he forgot that he just got robbed or alleviated from his funds. So he stumbles into this liquor store after being robbed and he's got like 38 cents in his pocket, to my complete and utter surprise. That is more than enough money in 1979, 1980 to buy a full bottle of wine, but not the bottle of bourbon that he wants. Now he starts acting like a rich prick, going on and on about the. I want my bourbon, I deserve my bourbon. The cashier's had a long, long day. He ain't got time for this foolishness. So he says listen, you can leave with your 38 cents or you can leave with this cheap bottle of wine. Either way, the operative word here is leave. I'm going to need you to leave. You decide which one it is. Well, gary wants to get all huffing, tuffing. He's huffing and puffing over the counter and the guy easily, the clerk easily grabs Gary's arm. He just kind of pulls him in a downward motion so that he's lower than eye level. He reaches under the counter, pulls out his pistol and he's like I, I'm gonna run this by you one more time, sir, leave with your 38 cents, leave with the wine or just leave it all. I really don't care. And for the second time that night I think Gary is like okay, I will take this L as well. I do not have the leverage that I wish. Good day day, sir, I am leaving, so he leaves.
Speaker 1:Well, it turns out it's actually been about three days since anybody has seen Gary Ewing around the neighborhood. Valene and Sid and Karen are still looking. They run over to Richard and Laura's house where Laura is side-eyeing Richard. Richard's like okay, well, y'all just let me know if y'all need a poster or something. And the gang leaves. And she's like Richard, why aren't you helping? Look for Gary. And he goes.
Speaker 1:Gary don't even like me. Gary don't even like me. I tried to be his friend but he can't stand me. I'm not going to go searching for him. Seriously, I'd have to agree with Richard, doesn't matter anyway, because Gary wakes up under the pier and he wakes up fiended for a drink.
Speaker 1:He crawls over to another hobo who is peacefully sleeping off his bender when Gary steals the innocent hobo's drink, steals his beer right from his hand and starts to chug a lugget. And the hobo cries out like my bottle, my bottle. He's so upset, like my God, what are you doing? But he's too drunk to get up and do anything. Unfortunately, his pleas are ignored as Gary polishes off the booze. After the booze hits his bloodstream, gary sits in disgust realizing that he's probably drank at least 30% of this hobo's backwash and that he has been reduced to crawling through the surf to feed his totally in control desires. Insane. I mean, wow right, roller coaster ride, baby. This one went all over the place. This makes his evangelizing to Sue Ellen so much. It makes so much more sense. I thought he was coming on a little strong, but when you have crawled through the surf after three days getting your butt beat down, going to jail, quitting a job, drinking backwash, getting jumped it, baby, you have hit the bottom of all bottoms.
Speaker 1:I thought Sid had a really great point with that fear of success, feel of failure, which are usually on the same side of the coin. Even though it doesn't feel like it, failure seems to be the one that most people assume is. That's the most debilitating, because you don't want to not succeed. It's very scary to think you can start an endeavor, put out your best effort and it's still not turn out the way you want. But even scarier still is when you put out your best effort, you achieve the goal and then there's like what if I can't maintain this. It's almost worse to reach the goal and then fail than it is to never reach it at all, and I think a lot of people have that. So it makes sense to me that Gary would.
Speaker 1:He didn't freak out, though that was a kind of a catch here. I love that they made this multi-layered because Balene's right, this was a happy, celebratory occasion. He had a drink and he wasn't upset at first, but it's like subconsciously he knows that he shouldn't be doing this, because where it could turn out, where it could end up, and he made it a bad thing. It's like she was a scapegoat, which is what I don't like. I've always kind of felt like he was a little bit too pouty. He does run away from things too much. He's always. I mean it's a lot of coddling for a grown man, a grown man who should know better at this point. You've had many, many years to get your life together. She has been patiently riding with you all this time. She never said anything negative to him about his drinking not a single word. But of course she's chastised for for having the fear that he has invoked inside of her. It's crusty, dusty and wrong. But, baby, this episode was good man. I enjoyed this.
Speaker 1:I hate that it took him the entire episode to kind of come to that conclusion, or at least I think he did. It faded to black and I haven't watched the second part yet, but it seems like he's kind of come to the conclusion like wow, if I have to steal from another drunk, I'm dude. This is team too much. You know who doesn't get that same sentiment, though you know doesn't understand that from another drunk. I'm dude. This is team too much. You know who doesn't get that same sentiment, though you know who doesn't understand that Kenny. Once again, guys, I need somebody to break this down. Kindergarten style for me, as we look back over the season.
Speaker 1:Kenny's never home. He's always doing something with the music business, which we also know. Is him cheating on Ginger? Is it cheating if she knows about it? To me, no, it's not. At the party she claimed. You know, I don't want your weirdo friends filling me up this time. So it implies that she has at least participated, even if it was against her will. That sounds horrible. She's done it when she didn't want to. She said yes when she wanted to say no that's a better way of saying that and he clearly participates in these things, so it's like she's not new to this. She understands what he does and it doesn't take a whiz to figure out. If your husband ain't coming home every other week and women are calling your house, you know what it is. So why on this episode, would he lie about it? He's literally made weird comments. Remember the baby episode where her short King Arthur came over. He wanted her to hook up with him, if I understood that right. But now, all of a sudden, with this woman who's been in her home they already know what it is he wants to play coy. I don't really understand where this is going. Hopefully this is the beginning of the end for Ginger and he, where she can stand up for herself and say you know what? I need you and your weird jaw to get the hell out of my house. I'm over it. Go sleep with Filby.
Speaker 1:We got a toast to the bartenders and what do you call those Liquor store clerks Of all the obnoxious people, customer service or in the public in general? You understand how absolutely atrocious and obnoxious people can be. Add to that dark liquor and you have to be the person that says you know what? That's all. You cut off. I got it. It's a whole nother level of sainthood. I'm telling you these people have to be sainted after they quit. This is way too much. Alcoholics want to fist fight you. Drunk people always want to start stuff. Glass is always breaking. It's late, you want to be asleep. This is a thankless job. I'd like to salute all the bartenders and convenience store clerks and liquor store clerks. It's a dangerous job. It is a thankless job and probably pretty hard, because, just like you, don't want to be the person who served someone their last drink and something horrible happened.
Speaker 1:But my god, gary was unbearable. He was unbearable every time he had a little drinky poo, except at the meeting. He knows when to turn it off, and on that last quirk, though, baby, he had all the riffraffery. He was going to take that. Days like you can get pumped full of lead. You can take 38 cents, or you can take this wine. I love that he was still generous enough to like. Listen, I know you're drunk, I know you have needs. I'm willing to meet these with this cheap wine. And yes, you are a wino if you drink this cheap wine. It is what it is. Oh my gosh. No, it's got be hard. I just don't know. The tolerance is amazing. The poker face is even more amazing. Shout out to you.
Speaker 1:The real star of this episode, though, is a 1979 Crown Victoria. Now, I have seen this car before. My grandma actually had one in 1992, but she had a respectable navy blue color and plus, right around the 90s I think, they chopped off at least four feet from this car, so it wasn't quite a city block long anymore, it was still pretty long, but it was respectable. You know what I'm saying To her. I'm sure she was like, oh my God, this is like a compact car now, but he has the 1979 1979 mint green or what is it called pine? The closest color I could find was called pine glow, but it's not really that color.
Speaker 1:Those of you who are old enough to remember this, do you remember when and some houses may still have them when bathrooms were all the rage, where they were all the same colors? Now, it wasn't a thing. When I was like growing up, people obviously didn't want that anymore. But you can look on a lot of TV shows, I think the Brady Bunch, their bathroom, like their tub, is pink. The tile is pink, the toilet is pink, the sink is pink. Everything is the exact same colorway. I've seen it in yellow, I've seen it in green, I've seen it in brown and I've seen it like in blue. It's the exact same green they would use on a toilet, but it's this car color. I'm like it's so gross, but does that matter? There's some kid. That woman, texas Titties, was so happy to get that car for 400 American dollars.
Speaker 1:Crown Vicks, apparently, were all the rage because they last forever. You could run those through the ground. I still see some around. I think I've seen like a white or silver one in town. But these cars are known for going well over 300k. That is unheard of today, unless you drive like a toyota. But gary flushed it down the proverbial toilet by giving it away to this woman.
Speaker 1:Now I can't wait to find out if he made a. You know, took her around the block first. I kind of doubt it, but I think it's a moot point at this time. You've already flushed your reputation. You flushed your wife's trust and now you sold our transportation, which might explain why Valene never really drives anywhere. You sold our transportation, which might explain why Valene never really drives anywhere. Oh well, that's. That's the advantage of living next door to somebody who owns a car dealership, right? All right guys. That's it for today's Sudsy Saga. Join me next time as we jump into part two. A bottle of the bottle. All right guys, let's keep our suds alcohol free today. Keep your friends close, your enemies closer and your soap operas closest. Remember to keep all of your drama on TV. © BF-WATCH TV 2021.