Soaplore
Ever wondered what you missed out on before the golden age of streaming? Welcome to Soaplore, the podcast where we dive headfirst into the wonderfully over-the-top world of vintage soap operas from the 80s and 90s. I’m Jett, a TV-loving Millennial who’s finally escaping the monotony of modern shows and embracing the drama, the shoulder pads, and the catfights of yesteryear.
Join me as I experience the soapy sagas of "Dynasty," "Dallas," "Falcon Crest," and "Knots Landing" for the first time, episode by episode. With over 200 shows, we’ll laugh, we’ll cry, and we’ll probably question our life choices—just like the characters do, but with slightly less fabulous wardrobes.
Whether you’re a Xillenial who grew up with these iconic series, a Millennial like me who missed out the first time around, or a new fan discovering the glorious chaos of primetime soaps, "Soaplore" is your time machine to the melodramatic past. Tune in, relive the magic, and let’s marvel together at how people ever survived without binge-watching.
Pour yourself a glass of something strong, because, trust me, you’ll need it. This isn’t just nostalgia; this is Soaplore—where every episode is a rollercoaster of emotions, and nothing is ever as it seems.
Soaplore
S4 EP 7 Dallas - The Fourth Son: The "When Radical Honesty Goes Wrong-ish" Episode
What if the very bedrock of your identity was suddenly rocked by a long-buried secret? Welcome to this thrilling exploration of "Dallas," where family dynamics are as volatile as the oil market. This episode of Soap Lore takes you deep into the Ewing family's turmoil in Season 4, Episode 7, "The Fourth Son." Bobby grapples with a catastrophic oil crisis orchestrated by none other than JR, as 600 barrels of promised oil are sunk, leaving a trail of betrayal and deception. At the breakfast table, JR's snide remarks stoke a fiery family confrontation, raising questions about outdoor dining etiquette on a sprawling Texas ranch. And why is JR sunbathing instead of starting a new company to claw back his power? Buckle up for a rollercoaster of sibling rivalry and business machinations.
JR Ewing's double life takes center stage as he masterfully balances clandestine affairs and manipulative schemes. While he sets up secret rendezvous with his lover, Sally, Bobby is blindsided by a fraudulent oil shipment that leaves him $18 million short. As Bobby's determination to unearth the culprit heightens the stakes, we also see Sue Ellen's mysterious resentment towards Pam simmering in the background. An unbothered old man, embroiled in scandalous business dealings through his wife, adds another layer of intrigue, as Bobby uncovers a plot involving old ships and hidden oil reserves.
Just when you think you’ve uncovered all the secrets, a surprise visitor turns everything on its head. Ray's encounter with his estranged father, Amos Krebs, reveals a shocking truth about his lineage that sends ripples through the Ewing family. Jock's discovery that Ray is his son from a wartime affair brings a wave of emotional complexity, as Ray struggles to reconcile this revelation with his desire to protect Ellie from the truth. We wrap up this intense episode with some vintage soap opera wisdom, reminding you to secure your records, avoid incriminating diary entries, and keep all your drama confined to your TV screen. Pour yourself a drink and join us for a wild ride through the labyrinth of "Dallas.
full meal for two people for less than five bucks, so fine, but please believe she's gonna eat caviar before she gets there. Why should she stop being luxurious? Cause you can't handle it. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome, or welcome back, to Soap Lord, the official gathering place for newbies, novices and OG diehard fans of the golden age of primetime. I'm your host, jet. You are reviewing the Soapy and Sudsy's Primetime storyline of 1980. We are back down in Dallas because I could not help myself.
Speaker 1:Season 4, episode 7, the Fourth Son. So, whether you're new to this or true to this, sit back and enjoy until the kids' time to play outside or out of sight. They'll be. No questions, suggestions or concerns for the next 25 to 35 minutes. No questions, suggestions or concerns for the next 25 to 35 minutes. Everyone else in the air shop be cool, be quiet, or you will be kicked out, because we are enjoying our story. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is Soap Lord. Hello, gorgeous. Welcome back, hearty people, to another sudsy episode of Soapy. I'm your host, jet, and I couldn't help myself this week.
Speaker 1:I caught the name of this episode at the beginning of episode six, so I'm like, okay, let me hurry up and get my mind right so that I can jump into this, because I'm thinking okay, the fourth son. Secretly, I have been hoping and wishing that maybe Ellie had a little bit of dirt in her past. This is all relative. You know what I'm saying. This is a soap opera, so you expect just weird things to pop out of nowhere. But then the more I thought about it, I'm like, okay, um, yeah, the fourth son. Somebody's got an extra kid somewhere. So I don't know, you know, I don't know, I don't know what I really really thought. It just kind of was an intriguing title. But then, as soon as the show began, I kind of immediately forgot about that. Go ahead and grab yourself something refreshing and let's settle in to season four, episode seven, the fourth son.
Speaker 1:When last we left, bobby was sitting with his mouth agape because the 600 barrels of oil that he promised so and so we're not going to remember these big characters. He's going to be doing business for the foreseeable future. He promised someone some oil. Uh, I'm right. On top of that. Rose, aka sally, said yeah, yeah, yeah, I got some friends in in Venezuela, I got a whole ship, I can get it to you. No deal, no big deal. Only she and JR are in cahoots, and for no good reason other than her liking to be messy. She decided well, we'll just sink it. Let's just sink it, and then Bobby will look dumb and then you can take the reins back.
Speaker 1:It's kind of intriguing to know that, along with JR being the villain, there's other people who enjoy stirring the pot just for fun. I'm right, on top of that, Rose is giving Joker vibes from the Dark Knight, like she just wants to see what's going to happen. There's no real reason for her to do this, or so I thought. I'm like that doesn't seem like a smart move on your part, because, I mean, you're going to, you're going to be held liable for that right. This is what I'm thinking. This is what happens after you've lived a little bit of life. You had to pay insurance yourself and I'm just like, ooh, that's going to be expensive, somebody has to pay for this, and that's kind of Bobby's thought process.
Speaker 1:So the next day, the Ewings because they eat their meals together, they're having breakfast outside. Side note some people enjoy eating out on the Miranda, some people don't. I kind of fall into that, don't? Depending on what time of year, especially if you live in Texas, dude. It's so windy for so long and it's easy like you're either getting hot wind if you're lucky or you're getting dust, and if my calculations are correct, if you are Ewing, that means you live on this ranch. You are downwind from about 30,000 head of cattle. I don't want my eggs and bacon and grits and whatnot and juice with fly boo boo in it. I don't want that. But some of my business is the television program.
Speaker 1:So JR and Sue Ellen, I guess because she's not in the Daughters of the Alamo anymore and he's not working they're just kind of sunbathing a lot this episode and the family gathers round, basically. So JC thinking about anything, so JR can be petty. Hey Bob, what are you going to do about all that oil in the bottom of the ocean? This pisses off Pam Pam's like okay, jared, now how would you please, how pray tell, would you have stopped a whole ocean liner from sinking? Please, let me know and of course this is when LA steps in, no need to talk about that that I won't bring the oil back. I'm so disappointed in her commentary. Let these people go on and get into it like they need to, because that's a valid question. Pam and I are on the same page. How, pray tell, would I stop a whole ship from sinking? Please let me know. But of course JR is sitting pretty because he already knows something is going on and Sue Ellen is just smirking like his skinless Siamese cat on his lap.
Speaker 1:Just JR, it's your rifle phone. It's your rifle phone. It's your rifle phone. I'm thinking, if you're the man boyfriend, why not start another company? I don't understand why he's still not like involved in some way. It's okay if you want Bobby to run it, and there's no need to. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. But you can't tell me that with these new enterprises, there's nothing that the both of them can't tell me, that with these new enterprises, there's nothing that the both of them can't do. That's the thing that bugs me about this family was that Jock has created this atmosphere where there's only room for one person to be successful at one thing at a time, which is absurd considering how much money they bring in with this endeavor.
Speaker 1:So anyway, bobby's going to spend this entire episode trying to figure out how to get oil where it needs to be, how he can fulfill his promises, how he can get that oil down to the refinery and fill these orders, so lucky for him. He's just sort of thinking okay, there's obviously insurance. This is just a little snappoo. It's just going to take a couple more days to get everything where it needs to go. But in the meantime, so that I can keep this reputation that I'm trying to build for myself, what I'm going to do is I'm going to reach out to people who sell oil on the black market.
Speaker 1:I don't know how this works. I guess he's just like hitting up random people who have it loose leaf. Hey, do you have this? Do you have that Kind of like when COVID was happening and people were like, hey, do you have any hand sanitizer? He's just basically trying to buy up any loose leaf hand sanitizer, loose leaf oil that's on the market. But of course Bobby works hard, the devil works harder and nobody works harder and more remotely than JR Ewing. So he's seems like he's already kind of gotten his hand in that. So people can't like sell it to Bobby. But luckily the Ewing's, because they are an oil company. They have about 400 barrels of oil.
Speaker 1:So he's thinking Bobby's like, okay, so we're going to have to just wherever that oil was going to go. It's not going anymore. I'm going to get it to my friend that I promised the 600 barrels we will continue to pump and get some more crude, and whoever is going to be, you know, lacking this week, we'll just make it up to him. It's just everybody. Please be patient with me, it's just going to take a little bit longer.
Speaker 1:So he goes to talk to one of his foreman about that and the foreman is like no, you can't do that. Your daddy, your daddy, you know, jimmy Bob had a handshake 20 years ago. So I'm like, oh, there's no paper, there's no receipts. I don't want to be messy, but in our day and age you can't get away with that anymore. Shook hands where, said what? When? If it isn't in writing, if there's not an Adobe signed additional signature, something. It didn't happen. But this, you know, this is how they do business back then. So first Bobby's like, okay, okay, cool, let me just let me hit up my retailers again to see if anybody's found anything.
Speaker 1:But ultimately he has to make a difficult decision. This is his first time kind of having to be ruthless and it's not sitting well. He's having to drink his dark liquor early in the morning, he's kind of sweating. But what he's not doing, he's not running from it. When people call, he takes the call right away. If someone shows up to the office, he takes that meeting immediately. He's like listen, I'm going to do it. I don't know how I'm going to figure this out, let's get it going Now.
Speaker 1:While all of this is very noble, we, the audience, get to enjoy watching Bobby run around to see if he's really got the stuff to be, you know, head honcho. We get to enjoy JR Listen. Last time we were here I said it's like JR is a man, but he's not. But he is no, he really, really is. So picture this Like I said, he and Sue Ellen are sunbathing a lot because they don't have anything else to do.
Speaker 1:She has buku swimsuits, so she's out, you know, with him by the pool. He's lying on his back and she's rubbing, I'm assuming, coconut oil in. Now nobody's worried about skin cancer. She's rubbing this in on his shoulders and they're kind of kiki and laughing. Ah, you know Bobby's sweating. Sue Ellen goes did you have something to do with those shifts? He goes, maybe, baby, maybe you know they're having a real good old time about it and he says something as she's, you know she's massaging him and she says is it the tickling of my fingers that has you whistling that tune or are you thinking about something else? And that's when he, you know they start laughing about the shit. Well, he goes. Well, if I turn over, can you continue Y'all? For a moment I thought, wait a minute, this is PG, right, I didn't know where they were going to go with that he meant on his chest. I thought that was going to go a totally different direction. I thought, no, surely not on network TV. I have to believe there was a lot of wholesomeness back in the day. So, as she's continuing this massage, you know she's got on her love glasses. It's just, oh my gosh, they've had the best few weeks. It is amazing. She is so back in love.
Speaker 1:Well, the phone rings and it's Sally, aka Miss. I'm right on top of that rose. This man is. This is a masterclass JR puts on. A masterclass of how to get away with cheating in front of your wife's face. Step number one you must always talk in code. When you are a slick sumbitch like JR Ewing, you can say anything, you know. Oh, honey, you're sweeter than a, than a peach's speech. I don't know. Clearly I'm not that suave, but he is. So he picks up the phone he's like hey, hi, god, I'm really bad at this. I don't have a game. Jr does.
Speaker 1:Sally says JR, I really want to see you. I got about 600,000 reasons why we should be together right now. And his response because his wife is right there massaging his chest. She is like two feet away from the phone. His response is well, that sounds like a good deal. Now, I don't know if I can get over there today. I could probably work that out tomorrow. I'm about to take a meeting myself. But as he's saying that I'm just about to step into a meeting, he's making eyes at Sue Ellen like wiggle wiggle, giving her the innuendo. He just gave Sally the same innuendo. Oh, that sounds like a sweet deal, something, something we can. Why don't we work that out tomorrow? We take a few hours. Basically, he sets up two you know what appointments simultaneously, while both women are cooing and melting over this man and I'm like, damn, does JR have it like that? I guess he really does.
Speaker 1:Meanwhile JR has a meeting with the insurance company. He's not really pressed because he's thinking okay, sally and her husband, the Holbrooks, or whatever their last name is the Herberts. They have moved a lot of oil for them in the past. Surely these people have insurance. Surely they're doing business the way they should. Let me just figure out how long it's going to take before I can put in a claim. Blah, blah, blah. Business as usual, right Wrong.
Speaker 1:What he discovers from the insurance salesman or the agents is that this ship seems to be. It's not unusual for people to inflate the value of something you know, like, say, you have a car that is really worth about $10,000. You might say it's worth 12 or 13,. Slightly inflating it in case something happens, you get that. You know, you have a little cushion. Apparently it's common practice. But with this ship it's like no, this is just, this is just, y'all are tripping. There's no way it's worth as much as it is, because this turns out.
Speaker 1:Well, as we find out later, this is one of the older ships. So Bobby goes. Well, you know I don't have anything to do with that. That ain't got nothing to do with me. I'm talking about the oil, which is a fair point. It's not his ship. Talk to them about it.
Speaker 1:Well, the insurance people are like well, we have reason to believe that if this was inflated that much. Maybe the oil on the boat was also, if there was even any oil, he goes. Well, bobby's looking at them, like well, why are you telling me that? You have the paper right in front of you, you tell me, you tell me, and they go. Well, dude, I'd love to, but there's no oil on here. We were strictly told not to insure the oil.
Speaker 1:So now Bobby's hearing oh my gosh, I am SOL, I am out 18 million and I'm down. I'm negative 200,000 barrels of oil. If I can get this oil from my own refinery. This is not looking good. This is looking very, very bleak. Things are looking bleak. But it actually it lit a fire under Bobby's butt because now he's pissed like oh, it's one thing for a ship to sink, it's one thing for you to maybe make a little money off the insurance, which now makes sense to me. Why else would they sink their own ship like you're just going to collect the insurance money, but what you're not going to do is play in Bobby's face. Nobody plays with B-O-B-B-Y.
Speaker 1:So B-O-B-B-Y tells, so B-O-B-B-Y tells secretary hey call, oh God, I just had his name. His name is Holbert. Maybe Call him, tell him I'm coming over. And I'm like, even in his anger he's still very polite. I'm not sure I would have called ahead. I don't know if I would have had that foresight, but I guess it is a way that you can ensure that someone I don't know what kind of scheme you're playing right here, but you better figure out how to get me my oil or my money.
Speaker 1:And the old man, he's very old and he's very chill, like I don't know what kind of life he's lived, but he's unbothered. And he's unbothered and very genuine, like he's not one of those people who's unbothered and it annoys you, it's just like he's just that's his vibe. He's not going to. He's not going to. He told you before she handles the business, because I don't deal with that headache anymore, I like to sleep at night. So you know, picture, he's like a broad, like a surfer dude almost, and he says Bobby, this is just bizarre. I just there has to be a reasonable explanation for this, I don't know. So Bobby goes okay, um, do you handle this or does your wife? He goes. Well, my wife definitely handles stuff. Yeah, she handles contracts, she handles all that. Bobby's like your wife tried to play me. Well, the man just kind of laughs he goes. You know what that would be 1000% in character for her.
Speaker 1:There is a lot of radical honesty on this episode and that's the thing you can say almost anything, so long as you say it right, if you say it politely, like, if you care to be like a decent person. But also remember this example, because this man is very polite but he's very raw, real and uncut with what he's saying. Later on in the show you're gonna have someone who is just as honest. He's just not, as he didn't have as much cooth. So Bobby's a little bit taken aback by that. Like dang, your wife is scandalous. He's like she certainly is.
Speaker 1:There's contracts in her safe in her office. But when I gave her the safe I also kept the key. Let's just go check it out. So they go and check it out and they start looking over the paperwork and basically what happened was in Venezuela. This whole.
Speaker 1:The Holberts, or whatever their name are old man and I'm right on top of that rose have fleets of ship. Now some of those ships are super old and janky. It would appear that they put the oil on one of the old, janky ones, sent it up the coast and it sank, but they also sent out a totally different ship and that ship managed to make it where it needed to go, which would have been Corpus Christi, which is the very tip of Texas, in the Bay. So they're putting two and two together and pretty quickly Bobby realizes that she sent the janky one up the coast with just water or something to sink it. They were going to collect that money. She put the healthy boat and all that healthy oil and one of their reserves at the bay and she was going to sell that off. So she's getting money. She's already got the six million or the 18 million from Bobby. She's going to get more money for, um, her sunken ship and then she's going to get even more money by selling the oil you know underhandedly under the table. It's a win, win, win, win for Rose and I guess JR was going to get a little bit of cut of that.
Speaker 1:So Bobby's big man and old man just remains cool. He's like you know what you have carte blanche. Let me give you this address. He gives Bobby the uh, the address to her secret lair where she doesn't know. He knows about she takes her lovers there. He knows about it, he just don't care, he's too old, like he said, oh well, I'm not gonna do anything. Gives him that and he's like okay, bobby, do what you need to do, but just remember, no matter what happens, I'm gonna keep her. So Bob's like okay, great, that's good for you.
Speaker 1:Goes over, confronts Rose, basically reads her up and down. She tries to seduce him. He's like no, no, no, what you're gonna do is you're gonna seduce your fingers to a signature on whatever paperwork I tell you to, because I'm gonna get my money. I'm gonna get my money and I'm gonna get my oil, like he. She's totally found out, she has no choice. But he does this so that they don't have to drag her through court because at first she doesn't believe him. But then he you know, the fact that he knew where she was and he knew that oil was in Corpus Christi was kind of a telltale sign. And so she's like okay, okay, I will cooperate.
Speaker 1:But once again Bobby had to do something for Ewing Oil and still protect JR. He could have easily blown up JR's spot, but he didn't because he doesn't want the Ewing name drugged through the mud. So he has this brand new problem in his life, where he is pretty good at this job. It is requiring a little more of his time because he's been not necessarily pushed out but he's never had like a big part of it. But now that he does he understands he can't really trust his dad, he definitely can't trust his brother. So he has to be his own counsel right now. He has to build the own reputation and it's it's taking a lot out on taking a lot out of him, but he seems to be doing really, really well now. His wife is not impressed. She wants him around a little bit more, but we will save that conversation for another day.
Speaker 1:It is more of the same, but things are starting to pick up for Pam. One more little throwaway scene the Ewing's are once again gathered around about to have a little whiskey before dinner and Lucy's home, which I guess is a weird occasion. It is but it isn't, and JR is only saying this out loud so that he can point out to Pam that Bobby's not home Before that conversation can get too deep. It just pisses me off, because Sue Ellen is looking at Pam like what beef do you have with Pam? She's looking at her up and down like they're ruining her life, not her baby. So we're not even getting into that this one. We can save that conversation for another day too. We need to talk about the North Texas Lolita.
Speaker 1:So Lucy's chilling on the couch when Teresa goes to open the door and it's Mitch Apparently. Mitch has a change of heart and he's like honey. She introduces him to the family and then they go into jock study and she's just super happy. He's like, oh my gosh, I missed you, I miss. She's all over him and he's like I missed you. I still want to see you crazy about you, but I want to date you. But I just have to date you on my salary and something immediately like flipped in my head. I'm like where have I heard that before From her? No good, daddy, say what you will. Gary Ewing literally walked. He had the audacity to walk. I'm assuming he walked to a bus station, but he probably walked 15 miles away from his wife and baby has never fully reconciled that relationship. You know she had an appearance when she went to Knox Landing. But I'm like, dang, that's exactly what your deadbeat daddy said. He had a problem with you having all these fancy clothes and stuff.
Speaker 1:I do not see why she should have to dumb herself down now. I like Mitch. I like that he's a doctor. I like that he's working hard. But ultimately it's like she hasn't been asking for diamonds, she hasn't requested a yacht. They've been eating at his apartment. She's actually doing what she needs to do. Maybe she buys him a couple of gifts here and there.
Speaker 1:I know one week I'm like, oh, she's playing these mind games. She's love bombing him. She is, but she's also not asking him to do it back. So we just have to do this under my conditions. I'm sorry, bro, but you are broke. My conditions, I'm sorry, bro, but you are broke, broke, broke boy. That's just no, I'm sorry, that's not fair. It only works out because it's 1980.
Speaker 1:You probably can still get like a burger, full meal for two people for less than five bucks, so fine, but please believe she's going to eat caviar before she gets there. Why should she stop being luxurious? Because you can't handle it. It's not the. I understand the expectation and making sure that there's an understanding for the expectation, but it is the audacity for me. Sir Cool, if you can only buy me a burger, fine, but do you bet your bottom dollar? I had a top shelf meal that morning but I thought, man, that's just like her dad. That's just like her dad. That's just like her dad. I need you to just live within my means. Step up your bread, homie. All right, y'all.
Speaker 1:Here is a plot twist I did not see coming, and now that happened I can't believe I didn't see it coming. Title of this episode the Fourth Son. After the fact it's harder for me to remember what I thought, but I thought maybe. Um well, let me set it up a little. So last episode there was a scene where Ray's been spending a ton of time with Jock and I'm just thinking it's because Jock is not in the office. Maybe the audience is really bored. Between Jock and Ellie's conversations there's not a lot going on, but they're not really. They weren't really doing a lot. I wasn't thinking a whole lot of it, but they did end up going to the stockyards. I thought Ray was just being cool because Jock's old and he just needed something to do and he bumped into his old friends. I'm thinking that was just like an opening for Jock to kind of start a new endeavor is what I was thinking. Something to that effect effect.
Speaker 1:Well, they go to this bar at this at one point and I think the dude's name was like punk and pat is something funny. They go to this bar and that's when this, this guy who I thought was a reporter because he was wearing a white button-down shirt remember I already told you back in the day, everybody wearing buttons throws me off. I think everybody's professional don't know. I thought he was a reporter based on, like, his hat. I thought he had one of those little tags in his hat. Look at an old 1960s, 1940s, 1950s movie of reporters and you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. This guy sitting at the bar and he asked the barkeeper you know who's that guy? Who's that guy? And he goes oh, oh, that's Ray Krebs and that's Jock Ewing. And the guy gets a little excited. I'm thinking he's gonna write this expose on dirty oil or something like that is what I was thinking.
Speaker 1:So the show actually opens up with Ray at his brand new home. It is completely built. There is no longer a dead man under his near his water. Well, pam's bio dad is long gone and, yeah, everything's looking good. It was a beautiful home. I was admiring like, oh, ray, you really outdid yourself. This is lovely, beautiful ranch style home just just kind of made my heart swell a little bit, not that I care about Ray, because I kind of forget he's on the show, if I'm being honest, but just think, oh, he, that's what he wanted. He's a simple man, he's a cowboy, he just wants a little spot of land and he got it. So he's getting ready to go. I'm assuming he's like on one corner of the property, so he's heading a little further into the property, on the ranch. Mind you, this is all the ranch, which means all of this is behind a fence. Please keep that in mind.
Speaker 1:He gets in his little pickup and he reverses down his driveway or he turns whatever. He drives on the driveway and there is a white car parked and a guy like squatting down fixing his tire. Ray drives right by him, not immediately. My heckles are up because I'm like what Ray? Ray, you don't live in the city, you live in the country. Somebody is in your driveway and he drove past him.
Speaker 1:It's not like. Like if you live in an apartment building and maybe you go down to the lobby or you go outside and there's people in the parking lot, you might just walk by him. If you're in a hotel and there's someone in your hallway, you're just going to walk by them. This would be the. This isn't that same thing. This is a ranch, meaning it is fully gated, meaning he is on one corner of it, which means he doesn't have a public access road. He didn't even blink at it. It would be the equivalent of me walking out of my bedroom right now and some random woman is like tying her shoe in my hallway. I'd be like excuse me, how did you get to my house? Not Ray. I guess he's got his mind on his cattle. Cattle on his mind.
Speaker 1:I don't know when the guy stands up. We can see it's the reporter guy, or so I'm thinking. So Ray puts in a full day, you know. He comes home smelling to high heaven Cow hide, horse hide. You know the whole thing.
Speaker 1:He comes home and there's a gentleman sitting on his porch Same guy. So Ray walks up to him. He is all southern gentleman. He's not pulling out a gun, nothing. He said hi, may I, I help you. And the guy's like yeah, it sure is hot out today. Okay, great.
Speaker 1:Ray's like okay, what can I do you for you? Don't remember me, do you boy? He's like no, I can't say I do. Can we get to the getting? My name is amos krebs and ray's face things. He's like, oh, my dad, gross.
Speaker 1:So Ray's daddy is sitting on his porch cheesing and grinning and sweating and I'm like, okay, is he? I'm still, I'm stuck on this whole idea of him being a journalist and I'm like, okay, is he gonna what? Okay, what's good. Well, ray's pissed because he's like dude, I haven't seen you my whole life. You left us. My mama died when I was 15. I had to come out here and live with with all I had as a note to Jock came out here to live with them. So I'm like, oh, okay, and I guess I'd never really thought about the relationship between Jock and them. I don't think I remember that he had been.
Speaker 1:I knew he'd been there for a while but I've've watched Yellowstone so I thought maybe he's you know, he's just a cowboy. He just kind of showed up, probably early on, to you know, just live there, one of the cattle hands, and he just happened to be really good at it is my assumption of his whole life. But no, apparently Ray's mother was sick. She wrote a note. She knew Jock from back in the day. She's like hey, can you take in my kid, new jock. From back in the day she's like hey, can you take in my kid? Knowing he had this ranch, they took him in. He's been there ever since.
Speaker 1:So he's looking at this man like you, son, how dare you show up on my nice new house? And that's that's where the man is like yeah, man, look at you, boy, this is a nice house. He pulls out some photographs of ray as a baby and I just thought to myself man, that's, that's different from back in the day. That's probably your, your dad, if he has those photographs, anybody could do that. Now you can just pull them off the internet. But he shows him the pictures and Ray's like dude, I got a hundred bucks, get the hell out of my lawn.
Speaker 1:And Mr Krabs Amos Grips like I ain't going nowhere. Man, you gotta look at you, you living high on the hog. Why don't you hook your daddy up? I feel like you owe me. And he's like dude, you left me when I was three. This man talk about radical honesty again. Okay, think about old man, rose's husband compared to this dude. He's like I mean, I liked you and your mama well enough, but I needed to go.
Speaker 1:There was other things going on. And Ray's like dude, you left me. I haven't seen you since I was three Because I was like well, you owe me, boy. I raised you for three years. You owe me something. It was like you are a deadbeat loser, drunk, runoff, and the man's like guilty, he's damn near proud of the fact that he was a deadbeat father. He's like I absolutely am. I am a scoundrel, but I would like compensation. Now that I know you're living high on hog, I need compensation for the three. Now that I know you're living high on the hog, I need compensation for the three years that I put up with you and your mom Hook her brother up. Ray is upset but he happens to have a fistful of $10 bills it equals about a hundred bucks Shows him out and was like get off my, get out, get on, get Amos.
Speaker 1:Amos is just Amos. I don't think amos has a job. Now that I actually sit back, I can get again. Y'all. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. There's just you. You fool me dressing up. I'm completely full, even. And then I looked at the hat a little closer. There's holes in it. He's a little sweaty, but everybody's sweaty there. You know, I know how hot it is. I know those cars know how they see like they should. It's smoking hot. So a little later on he sees the Azul King.
Speaker 1:Jock is going into town dressed like it's Easter Sunday. He's got on his pastel, peach and blue sports coat, he's got on his pants, he's got on his big old boss hog hat and Amos runs up on him like hey man, hey, uh, my name is Amos Krebs. You got a few minutes. Can we go sit over here and talk in this coffee shop? Well, jock hears the name Krebs and he's like okay, yeah, cool, you must be Ray's daddy. He's probably thinking he wants a job or something. Um, just you know, or could you help me talk to my son? Probably something like that.
Speaker 1:And just out of his respect for Ray, jock takes the meeting. So immediately they sit down and Amos pulls no punches. He's like hey, does the name Ray's mama ring a bell? Yeah, I've totally forgot what her name is, but does Ray's mama's name ring a bell? Jock's eyes get real big and he's like listen, listen. You think you're coming over here with an earth-shattering revelation. You're not. You're not gonna tell me nothing that I don't already know about a nurse from world war ii. My wife already knows about this nurse from world war ii. She knows all about our illicit affair. It is what it is. And he's like oh, okay, okay. Well, now Jock's pissed Like dude, what do you want? I only took this meeting because of Ray. And he's like oh, you know, that's kind of why I'm here.
Speaker 1:When Ray's mama came home from England, you see, she was already pregnant, so that ain't really my dad, you know, that ain't my baby. You do the math. That math is math. Jock's eyes get, they get big. Then he squints and he's like oh, you can tell he's doing the math backwards, like this is very plausible, this is very plausible. And then I'm thinking, as they're saying this why have I never thought that before? I guess there was no reason to think it. He lives in an outhouse, he's not treated like family. He looks just like Jock. He looks just like him laughing whoa. But honestly, before we go any further, well, actually, no, let's go and drop this little gem. So this is, this is 1980.
Speaker 1:And Amos is just sweating and grinning and cheesing because all he sees is big money. He's, oh, my God, I'm going to be so flabbergasted by me. A big old Cadillac would be so cute. He pulls it from his breast pocket, a diary that is embossed with 1946. That is so genius. I've had many diaries in my life. Not one of them had the year on it. That would be so helpful. That's never happened anyway. He cracks open to like a September date and it's talking.
Speaker 1:It's Ray's mama saying how much she misses Jacques, how much her and their son miss him so much. And I love you so dearly, but I never were your family. And Jacques is like and I love you so dearly but I'd never ruin your family. And Jack's like oh my God, he's just on like crap. Give me that, let me see. Actually he's very polite. He's like do you mind, can I take a look at that? Sure, of course he looks at it. It's definitely Ray's mom's handwriting. He's like oh crap, okay, well, what know that diarrhea is for sale. I can only imagine how troublesome this could be to you and your sons and your wife. I sure hate to ruin a happy home. So I can't say that.
Speaker 1:I never thought that maybe Jock might have had some more kids. I kind of thought Ellie might have had a little something going on at some point. But you know, as they say, mama's baby daddy's. Maybe Ellie would remember if she had a child, barring some sort of amnesia, which is not unusual on a soap opera. I thought about that. But then I thought about his wife, melissa. I'm like what if she'd had a baby all along, shortly after they put her in the sanatorium and they gave him up for adoption? That was kind of my thought as the show had gone on thinking OK, the fourth son maybe it's something like that. Never did. I think Ray Ray is a World War II love child. It's beautiful.
Speaker 1:So Jock gets in his car and he's you know his big silver car and his blue outfit. He's like crap. He gets out at Ray's house and he's just up front with him. I never noticed how much gold this man wears, which tells me a lot about him. He's got the gold chain with the little lion on it. He's got the gold bracelet, he's got the gold watch, he's got the gold ring. I know more about Jacques from that drip than he could ever tell me. So hmm, I wouldn't be surprised if he got a couple more kids somewhere. All right, y'all.
Speaker 1:So he gets to Ray's house and it's the obligatory I'm sexy and I know it's seen which is now heavy in rotation on all of the soap operas. Ja gets out and he's got a little sweat stain under his shirt from where he's sweating in the car, which only adds to my point why I didn't clock the fact that Ray's other dad was like bummy. I just thought he was hot, not like attractive, but just physically hot. Anyway, ray is shirtless and chopping wood. Now what he needs with that wood. I don't know, maybe he's gonna barbecue later because he's clearly sweating, jock sweating, his other daddy sweating.
Speaker 1:Ain't nobody starting to fire, but he sees Jock and immediately you start to notice how tender he is to him. He's like okay, yeah, yeah, sit down in the shade, I don't want you getting too hot. Jock lays it on him like yep, somebody came to see me today. And ray's like oh god, I'm so sorry, don't worry about that. I'm sorry, that's my deadbeat daddy, I'm gonna get rid of him, don't worry. Well, then jock lays it on him dude, you know me and your mom.
Speaker 1:First off, this was a sleazy thing to say, but this man also has a v-neck shirt on and a gold chain. He's like me and your mama was real good friends. Don't say that, jock, don't say that. You know what he's saying enraged. Yes, sir, yes, sir. He should have jumped up and slapped us. Don't talk about my mama like that, but he's all respectable and whatnot. He's always admired the man he's like. Well, we weren't just good friends, we had an affair. I told Ellie about it and I didn't realize till today that she was pregnant when she left. I got sent to France, she got sent home and I didn't realize she was pregnant with you. So you're actually my son. That ain't your daddy, amos, ain't your daddy. Big jock gold chain is daddy and he's like oh crap, ray is such a darling.
Speaker 1:He basically says okay, I almost don't want you to say anything, because I just can't stand the thought of ellie being upset behind this. So I'm just cool with us just not saying anything. Maybe we just know he says this twice. I'd rather keep things the same way they are. I'd rather you not say anything. I don't want to hurt Ellie. So Jock's like so what you're saying is it's in my court. No, what he said is keep your mouth shut. That's his business to tell we're going to keep this. It don't mean me, you and God, the only people who know about this, and Dirty Amos, we're going to keep it that way. This is my thought.
Speaker 1:Jr is not the best son. He's a good businessman but he kind of sucks as a son. Gary has all but disappeared. He clearly didn't like him. He and Ellie can only agree that Bobby's a great person, but they also both like Ray. So he's probably thinking, like you know, this isn't bad, this is kind of a win-win. This isn't bad, this is kind of a win-win. This guy's solid. He's been faithful since he's 15 to us. Yeah, let's bring him in the fold. So he does.
Speaker 1:He goes and he tells Ellie I got something to tell you. Ma, it's going to take a while. You know I love you. You're my boo, won't you want? And she's like yes, baby, okay, you can tell me in the house, getting ready to curse out JR.
Speaker 1:But JR is not aware of the fact that Bobby has put two and two together and received the oil back and all that. He still thinks that Bobby is reeling with the loss of there not being any insurance, like he thinks that's what's going on. Bobby corrects him they're about to get into a fight when in walks Ray, and he's like what you doing here, ray? Oh, jock told me to come by. He's playing it cool. He's not gonna say boo about it. He's keeping it cool.
Speaker 1:Jock wanted me to show up. So jock comes out, ellie comes out now she's looking uncomfortable pam comes out, sue ellen comes out and lucy comes out and that's when it finally clicks for me. I was like, oh my god, oh my god guys, the reason she's in north in North Texas, lolita, is because of Ray. So let's do a little rundown of Ray. Ray has ran through Sue Ellen. Ray used to hook up with Pam before she married.
Speaker 1:Bobby Ray was having an illicit affair with his niece, lucy, his blood niece. This is what I'm talking about. Erica was right. They were not counting on us remembering this stuff. They were not counting on people being able to record and rewind and be like, wait a minute, I've never forgotten that she was. I just wasn't thinking about it in the moment. But, like I've never forgotten that, I've always thought it was kind of weird because it's like it's something she can hold over his head. But yeah, she was definitely. Oh my god, oh my god. On today I'm shook. I was shooketh.
Speaker 1:But jock announced this to his entire family that papa was a rolling stone in london circa 1945, 1946, fell in love with this little nurse boo thing from kansas didn't know she was Prego. Um, her kid showed up 15 years later and when you look at Ray and you look at Jock it's like clearly, obviously. I kind of wondered if Ellie had gotten wind of that at some point before. But everyone is shocked. Now Lucy don't look shocked and disgusted. She should, should be the most shame, but she's not. She's like oh wow, end scene Boy. Oh boy, talk about salacious, talk about trifling His niece.
Speaker 1:So I guess the math is mathing that he and JR are probably about the same age. I keep trying to make him. If it's 1980 and he was born in 1946, he's not quite 40. He's like 34-ish. Again, I can't tell how old these people are because they wear button-up shirts. It literally throws me off. But, baby, that was a revelation.
Speaker 1:I have to say I enjoyed Amos so much. He was so much fun. He was almost as fun as Digger Barnes on that barbecue episode where he was doing that like little tap dance. Remember when he got drunk as a skunk and started tap dancing in the middle of the thing. Lord, it was as good as that. Oh man, it was so wonderful. I really hope Amos comes back. He, yes, he was a star of the thing, lord. It was as good as that. Oh man, it was so wonderful. I really hope amos comes back. Is he he? Yes, he was a star of the show, him?
Speaker 1:And cool old man who's like, yeah, my wife is the purpose. She's definitely perpetrating fraud. She's definitely scandalous. Thank god I have the keys. He was so unpothered. Both of these old men are like hey, we're almost out the door. We're gonna do what you will with, we're gonna do what you will with whatever you got, do what you will with the information you have, but we're gonna be all right. All right, guys, and we are too. Thank you for joining me today. I hope you join me next time as we jump back into another sensational, super sudsy, vintage primetime soap opera. In the meantime, in between time, check your records, check your safe and, for God's sakes, don't use names in your diary. It will be held against you 40 plus years later. Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, your remote closest. Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business and keep all of your drama on TV. Bye.