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S4 EP 7 Falcon Crest - The Intruder: The " Florida Man Loves B&E " Episode

• Jett Shae • Episode 214

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Ever wondered how the charming allure of 80s heartthrobs stacks up against the boy-next-door charm of the 90s? Join me, Jet, as we dive into this nostalgic debate while unraveling the intricate drama of Falcon Crest's season four, episode seven, "The Intruder." From the riveting reappearance of Angela Channing to the glamorous chaos surrounding Maggie's anthropologist father, we dig into the heart of the show's captivating twists and turns. Plus, I share my personal journey of discovering Falcon Crest and its place among other vintage gems like Knott's Landing.

You'll get a taste of the love triangles and extortion plots that make Falcon Crest so addictive, including Melissa's entanglements and the morally ambiguous lawyer Gustav, whose silent menace deserves a deep dive. We also tackle a listener's intriguing question about 90s and 80s heartthrobs, comparing the rugged appeal of 80s icons to the clean-cut charm of 90s stars like Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Justin Timberlake. Don't miss my reflections on how films like Final Destination have shaped our everyday fears and habits.

Closing out the episode, you'll hear about the ongoing extortion drama in Terry's tumultuous life, a new family member amidst a vineyard crisis in Italy, and my viewing recommendations for those looking to jump into Falcon Crest. With humorous life advice and tips on enjoying drama on TV rather than in real life, this episode promises to be a fun-filled journey through vintage soap opera nostalgia that you won't want to miss.

Speaker 1:

because the next thing I would do if I knew you were coming the next week, I would set some sort of super duper mousetrap, I would invite you for dinner and put rat poison in the sorbet, or I would, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome, or welcome back to soap lory, official gathering place for newbies, novices and ogorg fans of the golden age of primetime. I'm your host, jet, viewing and reviewing, lathering up with one of the sophiest, studdiest primetime storylines of 1984. That's right, guys, it is a Falcon Crest Friday, if I can put this out in time, and we are diving knee-deep into the intruder. So, whether you're new to this or true to this, sit back and enjoy. Baby. It's time to tell the kids to play outside or, out of sight, to obey no questions, suggestions or concerns. Tell everyone else in earshot. That's you, mother-in-law. You need to be cool, you need to be quiet or, despite your bloodline, you will be put out Because we are on a Falcon Fiend Friday.

Speaker 1:

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is Soap Floor. Hello, gorgeous, welcome back party people to another fun-filled edition of Soap Floor. I'm your host, jet, enjoying the primetime soap opera debauchery from a go. Welcome to another one of our shows we are viewing and reviewing season four, episode seven of falcon grass the intruder. If this is your first time joining us, welcome. I think every episode's a great episode. To start with, this one might not be the best, but just stay here.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I, if you've listened to me this long, you don't mind, but Falcon Crest happens to be one of the things I didn't hear about growing up. I never, ever, ever, heard this. As a matter of fact, I started this whole podcast without knowing about Falcon Crest, but it is fast become one of my favorites. And I struggle with this because I'm like I should be bringing integrity to this. This should be a non-biased opinion about these wonderful, wonderful storylines. But then I remember these aren't my kids. I didn't write this. I had nothing to do with this. I wasn't even alive when most of these started. So yeah, I may or may not have a favorite. I have favorite characters. But if I'm being honest, holistically, falcon Crest is bringing it, and Knott's Landing is kind of bringing it too, which brings me so much joy because that was my aunt's favorite. And the more that I dive into this you know primetime vintage soap opera realness I'm learning that a lot of people feel the same way I do. It is all about FC and it is all about Knott's Landing. Today we're not going to worry about that. We're going to worry about Falcon Crest.

Speaker 1:

Season four has been more of the same, but they have amped themselves up. Falcon Crest has never been shy about dragging out a storyline. They don't really care, they ain't worried about how you feel. But they are gorgeous, they are glamorous. But this time, season four, I feel like they finally have hit their stride. They are bringing in weird characters. They are bringing in these kind of subplots that you, low-key, forget about until something happens.

Speaker 1:

Aka Gustav, aka Maggie's father, who is like an anthropologist. And then you have this whole rising of my girl, angela, big perm, raw God, channing. I'm so happy that she's back on her bully. I'm so happy that she's back to big auntie energy, because it gives me a lot of comfort as a little kid. Kid I realized I spent so much time with elderly people. So when I see her being, I don't know how old she is in this series, but if I had to guess, she's probably leaning on 70, leaning on 60. She's past 60, 100, but she is still fine as wine baby. You not gonna tell her nothing. She used to be married to President Reagan, which is the best flex of all time. She's probably on one of the number one shows of of that year, 1984. President Reagan is in office and all she has to do is take a look over her shoulder and be like god, your wife wants to be me. So bad. Same haircut, same everything. But we're going to do a whole episode on her because I didn't realize she had Gwen Stefani swag from back in the day and I'm so sorry if you guys can hear my puppy Get a husky. They said It'll be fun. They said All right, guys, let's get into the synopsis of this episode.

Speaker 1:

Before we jump into Vintage Primetime Debuckary, I have a little bit of fan mail. Remember that if you're listening to this on your mobile device, you can reach out to me. There is a phone number, or it's like a seven-digit number. I'm going to be honest, it's not a real phone number. In the show notes. You can text me whatever you want. You can say, jet, you suck, which I wish you would. Or you can say hey, what do you think about this? I love hearing from you guys. I have a couple on back order, but let's read this week's message. So I'm not going to reveal any personal information unless you specifically leave that information within the body of the message. I want you to be private. I want you to live your life. In case you have a controversial opinion Actually I don't care, baby, this is free range. I really don't care. This is not Facebook. You can say whatever you want here, all right. So this week's fan mail comes from greetings from San Jose.

Speaker 1:

Hey, jet, I'm a proud newbie, born 1984. Shout out, baby, we're practically cousins and loving this era of TV. I also consider myself a TV kid. I am too an 80s baby, 90s kid, know the distinction. I'll go into that here in a second. And I want to know your take on the 90s hotties versus the 80s hotties. You're trying to get me in trouble, san Jose, but I will go go there.

Speaker 1:

This is a fairly simple question that is difficult to answer and I'll try to keep it as short as possible, but I think immediately my first thought is they're all smoking hot, but there's something a little more rugged maybe about the guys in the 80s versus my genre, which would have the 90s, especially if you're a 90s kid. So I'm talking about Jonathan Taylor Thomas, we're talking about Marcus Houston, aka Go Home. Roger, the 90210 boys, the Fresh Prince Well, I don't know if he really you know what I'm saying, but like those shows were semi popular the Famous Jet Jackson, alex Mack, her little friend, I thought he was so cute. So there's several people right or strong. The Wonder Years was in syndication, so I always thought Fred Savage was so, so cute. But the list goes on and on.

Speaker 1:

The difficulty in this question for me is that, because I was a child in the 90s, like a child, then grew into a teenager oh, I was a child in the 90s, like a child, then grew into a teenager. Oh, justin Timberlake, how could I ever forget NSYNC, backstreet Boys, abc, immature all those groups were just everything Drew Hill to me. So as I'm looking at them, I'm looking at them through the eyes of like a kid, kid to a teenage kid. And then when I watched the things in the 80s yes, I have memories of watching some of those films before, but I never really thought all the guys were that cute. I think I thought that guy from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and he was also in the Lost Boys. I had a huge secret little crush on him Blair Underwood, of course. My friend just recently called me out on that. She's like you don't hate the 80s, you loved Blair Underwood Totally different. But I think I've got it narrowed down.

Speaker 1:

As I look back on these as an adult, what I noticed is that the men of the 90s you know, this is where the hair, the chest waxing and all that started to come into play a little bit more and the guys in the 80s, they seem a little more confident and a little more rugged, I would say, because of, like the chest hair. They're, you know, showing more of their skin. They're, you know, walking around with v-necks and what have you suits on. They look really put together and polished when they do get it together. And I think the 90s, the heartthrobs were always very casual. They looked a little more clean cut, they were a little more polished, they were wax and they were also kind of boy next door-ish. No one was overly dressed, except for the cast of 90210. They dressed impeccably. But you know what? One thing's a certain, two things for sure being hot never goes out of style, and that good boy, bad boy trope also never goes out of style. So I think we are pretty even across the board, but my favorites, of course, are from the 90s.

Speaker 1:

I completely forgot to mention Devon Sala, but that will be a topic for another day, because the way the movie Final Destination has my generation in a choke hold. I want you to know, to this day I do not ride behind trucks with logs, pipes or anything that I feel like could fly through the window. I refuse to do it. I will literally be late. I will literally I don't care what the, I don't care what the occasion is, I don't care if it's my own vow renewal, I will park on the side of the road. I'm not riding behind that. It's too intense. So this episode I have to be completely honest. I did this just like we did last summer. I thought I would do it where I'd watch 20 minutes or so and then come back on, but oh my God, this one was confusing and it's not that complex of a storyline, but I had to watch it a couple times to make sure I understood what was going on.

Speaker 1:

Today's topics, among other things, are Gustav is scary, scary. He's the guy. If you see him calmly sit by, you get up and leave. It doesn't matter. Pretend this is final destination. You don't need that in your life. Get up, get on out. He is a menace. He is a silent menace which bothers me more than anything.

Speaker 1:

We'll get into that bad news bears. We have another cousin popping up out of the blue. That can't work. We already know what it means when family shows up, and this one is already going to be a problem baby. Her mom had a whole secret box. Florida man loves B&E. I'm not a career criminal, but I thought the whole point of extortion is so that you didn't have to do the legwork. We'll talk about the. But I thought the whole point of extortion is so that you didn't have to do the legwork. We'll talk about the. We'll talk about Florida Man's MO in great detail, batgirl Melly. Mel is bad girling and I think I might have misjudged the manimal's affinity and affection for horses. All that and more on this episode of Soup Lore. Let's go ahead and get a few particulars out of the way.

Speaker 1:

Angela is still on her bully. She is so magnificent this episode. Oh, I can't wait. Okay, so the beginning of the episode. She is confronting Lance who is minding his own business. She's like I cannot believe you exposed our neighbor's death. That is so disrespectful.

Speaker 1:

20 minutes later in the episode she's like good job on exposing Richard. It was amazing. So she's on that. She's like she's maniacally obsessed with Richard's demise. So anything that makes him look bad is wonderful. Anything that makes anyone else look bad is wonderful. Anything that makes her anyone else look bad, it's kind of weird. But at the same time she's a businesswoman. So despite the fact let me look up this guy's name that Sam Gianni has recently departed from earth, she sees that as no reason to let a perfectly good vineyard go to waste. So she's basically this episode. She is doing everything she can to acquire that piece of land. But what she doesn't know is that Gustav is doing the same thing, although he is a little more blatant with it.

Speaker 1:

Where Angela feels bad she doesn't want to appear too chipper Gustav is like it's time to be pretty overt here. So he visits Mrs Gianni days after her husband has been crushed to death by barrels of his own wine, which really sucks and he basically tells her hey, you know, I'd love to buy this property. I can only imagine what you're going through. This has to be the toughest time of your life. And she's like no, this is I mean, it sucks that my husband's dead, but ultimately I'm going to raise our children here, I'm not leaving here, and he presents her with this, this, this, this is how it doesn't exist anymore.

Speaker 1:

Um a, a watch. I don't know if you call it a watch or a clock, because it's attached to a chain, so it's not a watch attached to your wrist, but it's like a stop. A stopwatch is what I would call it, only made out of metal, that thing, a time piece, I don't know what the hell. Anyway, she goes. Where did you get this? He's like oh, I found it in the yard. By the way, mrs gianni, if I don't buy this house from you, I'll buy, buy it from your orphan. So she immediately was like you know what I got? A dead husband I got. This is a lot of work, honest to God. Hey, mr Gustav, I think we can have a conversation. They have a conversation. She sells a property. Bada bing, bada, boom.

Speaker 1:

I had all, but I hadn't forgotten about the Indiana Jones aspect of this, but it is taking a really long time. Completely on par for Falcon Crest. They are a slow burn always, so this is no surprise, but it is taking a hell of a long time. Let's talk about bad girl Melly, mel, oh, my, now this episode, the love square. Let's call it a square. We've got, let's call it a love triangle, but Melissa is in the middle. So you got Lance in one point, you've got Cole at one point, you've got the manimal at another.

Speaker 1:

Now it seems like Lance is probably the most bothered by her goings-ons. He doesn't like the fact that she is mingling with the manimal. He's not really privy to the whole Cole situation. He's not a fan of it, but she is a fan of the fact that he's not a fan of it. He's not a fan of it, but she is a fan of the fact that he's not a fan of it. So it makes it that much more fun.

Speaker 1:

Now, all I remember when I told her all he talks about is horses and ill. No, no, no, no. My god, this man is obsessed with breathing. It's really weird and I don't think he's that. He can't be. You can't be creepy. You can't be stiff and sexy. Be an adult I know some of you are. Don't go there. You can't be like rigid and sexy. These things just don't really mesh. Well, you can be attractive and rigid, but you can't be sexy In every scene that they're in, he is discussing this horse or that horse, or this horse or that horse, and shame on me, fool me once I didn't realize that he was trying to make a sale. He is a salesman. So he is definitely the morally gray lawyer for Angela, which makes this absolutely perfect. Now, he might bark from time to time about this or that, but he's really not one to do much else. He's going to look out for number one.

Speaker 1:

So in this episode, I believe I believe you know, trying to remember what happens Melissa had okay at the beginning of the episode. She's in her little two-seater, he's in his little two-seater, his is much more corny. But they're driving down the same drive, the pathway, and they stop and they have this quick little exchange and he says something to the effect of God I didn't know you were that diligent of a parent that you'd want to visit your kid and she doesn't get offended. Now I would have cursed him out. She doesn't get offended. She's like, of course, blah, blah, blah. So she drives a few more feet and Cole is watching this whole interaction. He's like what the heck was that she goes don whole interaction. He's like what the heck was that she goes. Don't even worry about it, we work together. It's nothing. She holds his hand, they go inside.

Speaker 1:

She has a wonderful day with the incomparable baby joseph, who was, I mean, for a two-year-old. He has a vocabulary of at least like a nine-year-old. He's giving oh mommy, I played with the train today. It was quite intrinsic, it was a wonderful thing. I, I purchased some stock today. It was quite tax taxing. Blah, blah, blah. Mother, I was thinking of acquiring part of Catalina Island and developing it for oil. Blah, blah, blah. This baby knows his business, but she has this wonderful day with him. She has this wonderful day with him and they're at the Colt, the Gia Berti Castle, where apparently the Abrietta, adonis and Maggie are in San Francisco. So Colt's like why don't you just hang out with us? Joseph can't talk much. I'd love to have a little bit of a conversation. And there's this whole thing. It's very clear that there's this romantic connection.

Speaker 1:

Melissa is all sorts of gung ho because this is a thing she has been wanting. She's been working on, you know, she's been working on Cole for a little bit, but what she can't seem to shake is that you know, she's Batgirl. These are her ways. She likes to sew her royal oath. So for the first part of the episode this does not backfire in her face, it's all cool and kosher. This does not backfire in her face. It's all cool and kosher she is hanging out with, with Cole and the baby. It's a beautiful thing. Maggie and Chase decide they're not going to say anything because that's Joseph's mom.

Speaker 1:

But a little later on in the episode, because Richard's spot is a new law mirage, at least for the west coast, who does Cole see? He goes there to have a drink or whatever. And next thing he know he see he hears Melissa cackling. Now let me be real. Some of you may hate my laugh. I really don't give a damn. That's, that's, that's what I sound like. But she has a distinctive cackle and it's like, oh, that's not sexy at all. He hears it and then he sees her with Craig Reardon who is just trying to sell her this half a million dollar stud so that she can start racing horses. So I really don't know if there's any real romantic connection there. I think I don't. I can't tell if she's playing a game where she knows that he is playing her, but either way it does not fare well for she and the dream of the white picket fence.

Speaker 1:

But my girl, bad girl, mellie, is back, girling as she should, the more and more I think about this. This is a very young woman who's acquired a very large parcel of land. She's acquired a vineyard that has been producing very well over the years. So all she has to a vineyard that has been producing very well over the years. So all she has to do is maintain that. And then she still believes she's the heir to falcon crest. I've never believed that now for one second. But she should be expanding her portfolio at the very least.

Speaker 1:

Now craig reardon has proved himself to be I don't know the manimal is manimaling, where he's morphing into more than one thing. He's definitely morally gray. I didn't realize he was so about his own business. Why does he keep bringing up these stupid horses? And he's super corny. Like that's the most frustrating thing. I've heard a man say that it's like you know meeting a beautiful woman but then like she just can't like read or hold a conversation and you're like grossed out. It's the same thing with a gorgeous man who is just like stiff and boring. It's a shame, but I realize he's probably he says he wants to have like this political career. But does he? Is he? Is he just buying state secrets? That would actually be really awesome. Either way, I'm enjoying the dynamic between he and Angie because Angie's like I am her. I am the perm rod. Goddess, you need to affiliate yourself with me so that I can give you the go ahead. Okay, I can make sure you can have this political career. I'm going to add a pretty significant chunk this episode because I think it's really interesting career. I'm going to add a pretty significant chunk this episode because I think it's really interesting. I know it's going to build it has to build up to something more because it's already salacious. Okay, just know it's Angie hating on Richie period.

Speaker 1:

We got to talk about our boy, joel the Florida man. My God, can I confess something to you? I wonder if this is common of deep introverts, like there are some things you just aren't at. We're just not as expressive as other people. That's not true. I'm a highly expressive introvert. Who just you would mistake me for an extrovert until the real extrovert gets there and I'm like, thank God, then I can retire, I can go home and read my books and just relax as I need to. But I think there is something to be said for the art of negotiation and exploitation, if you do it properly. Mind you, I'm talking about a primetime soap opera. I thought the entire purpose of exploitation was so that you didn't have to do the grunt work. You didn't have to rob, kill, steal all that. If you have deep state secrets about one person or another that could destroy them and there's always this sort of threat of that being exposed you don't have to do the other thing. Our boy, joel, doesn't understand that he is a b and e fiend. I think that's what we're going to call this episode joel the b and e fiend. My god, let me just refresh y'all's memory. So last episode we discovered that this is. There's a whole lot of lot of revelation happening here.

Speaker 1:

Terry was a call girl on the east coast. She was a tall girl in um Florida. At some point in her life she decided that Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys were a good pick for her. Only this Hardy Boy decided a life of crime. She married him and once she noticed that he was a complete and total loser, she decided let me back away from this now. She thought once he went to prison he was going to be there forever. There was some sort of loophole in the legality of his whole case and she missed out on a golden opportunity because she thought, okay, our marriage isn't all in void because he has been incarcerated for x amount of years. That didn't happen, so she's minding her own business. She's seducing Michael, cousin Michael, the doctor. He dies in a plane crash, much to her advantage, and she's thinking to cool, I can just marry Lance and live the rest of my life in all the peace that I deserve. Okay, yes, I was a hooker, I didn't love hooking, but it happened. To her chagrin and her surprise. Here comes Florida man Joel, who's like hey, despite the fact that I was cracked out of my mind 99% of the time, I managed to hold on to the documents that mattered. We are still married now. He exploited her last episode. He, you know, flipped her around, pushed her against the car and was like hey, write a check for ten thousand dollars. Well, that ten thousand has come and gone.

Speaker 1:

This episode, so picture this. On this episode. So picture this Terry, who has not quite found her footing in falcon crest, is minding her own business. She is taking one of the many, many showers a day that she needs to take as a person who is quote unquote sexy and they know it. She and Lance filled that quota, this episode. So she is washing her behind, she's minding her own business.

Speaker 1:

She put a her, she put a robe over her body, she put a towel over her head and she hears a little quack, quack, quack, quack, quack downstairs. She's like, oh hell, no, what is that? Hello, hello, who's there? No one answered. She's like, oh hell, no, somebody's breaking into my house. So she closes the door and this is the first time that I've ever actually thought about her being by herself during, you know, a home invasion or whatever. So we don't see who it is, but they are. They punch through the glass and they unlock the door and they crawl upstairs. It's like, oh my God, terry is a waiting duck, sitting duck. And next thing we know, boom, boom, boom, somebody bursts into the bathroom. She screams, she freaks out and we see it is none other than Florida man. And I'm immediately pissed.

Speaker 1:

Sir, this is unacceptable. You had ample amount of time to come up with a real scheme and you did nothing. The point of extortion is that you don't have to do the legwork, you don't have to be an E. You don't have to do any sort of fraud. There's nothing else you need to do except collect a check from the person, who knows that you know their deep, dark secret but, for whatever reason, he doesn't understand that. I think we have a b and e fetish here, ladies and gentlemen. And joel florida man is all over that. He's like I just yeah, yeah, hey, terry, she's like what the what are you doing here? Didn't I just write you a check? Well, I paid that. I used the check to pay off debt. Now I need 10,000 more. She's like my god, really, really no, I never thought I'd agree with Terry, but I'm with her.

Speaker 1:

Sir, if you are going to extort an absorbent amount of money, make it worth your while, you have to come back every week. That's just, baby God. This is how I know you're not going to be on the show. This is unsustainable, because the next thing I would do if I knew you were coming the next week, I would set some sort of super duper mousetrap. Knew you were coming the next week, I would set some sort of super duper mousetrap. I would invite you for dinner and put rat poison in the sorbet, or I would uh, you know, take a, a page out of Angela Channing's book and burn you over the side of a mountain because in 1983 CSI was kind of weak, you could still get away with these things. I hate that, that I think it, but it is the truth. You could get away with a whole lot of information in 1980 that you could never get away with in 1990.

Speaker 1:

If Terry was a smart woman which I feel like she could be she's a hooker Doesn't mean she's dumb, but Lord, have mercy. The fact that this man keeps bursting into your house and robbing you at vocal point for $10,000 increments. It's time to use another. It's time to do something new. Baby, I don't know. It is my personal belief that hookers have guts, but you see the worst part of people every single day.

Speaker 1:

I find it very difficult to believe that she would be entrapped by this sort of nincompoop. But that's neither here nor there, because meanwhile in Italy that's right, we need to go back to the origins there's a whole Diaberte struggling to keep her vineyards growing. Apparently her vineyards have some sort of fungi that is going to wipe out everything, and they've been doing good, but they're not like good enough to replicate this. If everything stopped today. If everything stopped today, that means everybody goes bankrupt. So we get to be introduced to a brand new cousin, which you already know is bad news bears, because anytime a family member presents themselves on a soap opera, if they're not there to explain the storyline, which this woman is not, they're there to ruin some team. So the cousin's name is francesca.

Speaker 1:

Now, by all intents and purposes, she is a lovely woman. However, she is doing the absolute most. I'm looking at her wardrobe. She's got on, uh, turquoise necklaces, like she's from the southwest. She's got on lace. I don't really know, I can't. Looking at her, you can't tell where she's from. But her Italian accent is a bit of an understatement, governor. It's a bit forced, if I must say. And she is going on and on. First she's talking to some guy from America and he's like please speak English. And I'm thinking to myself the aud, you were in Italy in 1983. How dare you insist that someone speak English? But he's like yo, you have this fungi. It is going to be a whole problem for you for the foreseeable future.

Speaker 1:

Francesca Gervetti is not one to give up, and I don't know who baby she is, but she's somebody, baby, she's a cousin, and she's waxing poetic with her grandmother. She's like, and I don't know who baby she is, but she's somebody, baby, she's a cousin and she and she's waxing poetic with her grandmother. She's like I just don't know what I'm going to do. And grandma has this whole box, the cedar box, filled with letters and she's like yo, I ain't gonna have to do this, but unfortunately we need to do this, baby girl, and you need to take this letter to your cousin, angelica, and you, you know, y'all need to have a chitter, chatter, chit, chat. You can get the money. Okay, don't even trip.

Speaker 1:

So Francesca boards the first thing, smoking, and she gets on a plane from Italy to the west coast, san Francisco. We already know that's like 20 hours. She lands and for some reason there's some sort of miscommunication. I don't know. This is what I'm assuming as a person watching this in 2024. She reached out, or her people reached out, her assistant or whoever was like yo, Francesca is going to arrive at this moment. Blah, blah, blah. We need somebody to pick her up Now. Chow Lee seems to be the leader of the pact at falcon crest and he's like I don't know nobody named, for I don't know who that is. He does not pick her up, she ends up taking a taxi or an uber all the way to falcon crest and once she arrives she knocks on the door. Of course, chow lee opens the door and he's like who are you? Oh my god, I'm so sorry we missed this.

Speaker 1:

Now, y'all I I feel I feel no way about bringing this to the present. We have been four seasons deep, which is like at least 60 episodes deep of this particular soap opera. If not 60, at least 50 episodes deep of this particular soap opera. All of a sudden, we need to have a United Nations. All of a sudden, chow Lee forgot that he speaks English and when he is discussing you know, the logistics of a plane landing, he needs to have an argument with a woman who is a native Italian speaker. He needs to have that, that same argument in Chinese.

Speaker 1:

So Chow Lee is arguing in Chinese, francesca is arguing in Italian and for just shits and giggles, they threw in a Mexican man who was delivering the luggage and he's arguing in Spanish, all so that Angela could stroll down the stairs big perm bird, god and be like what is this? The united nations? I? I suppose that was funny in 1984, but at the same time, I'm thinking to myself y'all knew better somebody you knew better. I'm coming for your neck for this one. You knew better. There's no reason that that everybody speaks english all day long, but when they are flustered, suddenly they're going to speak their native language, knowing that no one else understands that.

Speaker 1:

Y'all get on my damn nerves now. If memory serves me correctly, the olympics were near. They were about to land in la about this time. I don't know what the whole shamanic is, but my girl, angela, comes downstairs like what is this? Are you in? Yuck, yuck, yuck. I'm so whitey. And Francesca's smiling like no, I, I am Natalia and I can only speak in an accent, and I am your cousin. Yuck, yuck. Boy oh boy. But Angela's looking at her like what wait, god? I swear for god, I swear for god. Is this another relative? I enjoy this very much because I want to know what she's going to do next. She's going to blow this woman over the side of a cliff. What was in granny's box? I have no idea. I have able. I know when to stop that. Now, after watching this for a couple of years, I know when to stop the episode so that I don't get too much tea for the next baby. We're on a roll here. That's it. That's all for this episode.

Speaker 1:

I hope you enjoyed it. I have thoroughly enjoyed it because Falcon Cries never disappoints. I would highly encourage you guys to go back and watch this for yourselves. I've been on a few forums and what I've noticed is that people don't know where to watch this. If you already have the Amazon Prime app, have no fear. Go within the app, go to free V-F-R-E-E-V-E-E-D-V and you can watch this. There's going to be commercials, but I promise you it's no big deal. I bought the entire season. I've watched seven episodes. I think I bought it for like 14 bucks. After I watched these episodes, enjoy yourself, because Falcon Crest does not disappoint. All right, guys, keep your remotes close and your enemies even closer, and if you receive a letter from a long lost cousin, treat it like the Nigerian prince Shred that, put it in your junk mail. Do whatever you got to do. Does anybody got time for no new people, no new friends. Keep your friends close, your enemies closest, stay moisturized, stay hydrated, mind your own business and keep all your drama on TV. Bye.