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S4 EP8 Dallas - Trouble at Ewing 23: The "Oil's Well That Ends Well " Episode

• Jett Shae • Episode 219

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What happens when classic TV soaps meet modern streaming dilemmas? Join me on Soap Lore as we reminisce about the golden days of primetime soaps, beginning with a full breakdown of "Dallas" Season 4, Episode 8, "Trouble at Ewing 23." From Ray's evolving relationship with Jock to JR's relentless scheming against Bobby, we'll dissect every twist and turn that keeps the Ewing family on their toes. Plus, hear from devoted listener Michelle B. on the best ways to catch "Falcon Crest" now that it's off major streaming platforms.

Rediscover the allure of vintage TV with me as I share tips on finding affordable ways to watch "Falcon Crest," "Dynasty," "Dallas," and "Knott's Landing." Whether you're buying episodes or exploring digital platforms like Etsy, nostalgia is just a few clicks away. Expect some laughs as we recall memorable scenes, like Ray Krebs' deep thoughts with the earth and Sue Ellen's poolside routines. And let's not forget the quirky charm of "Manimal" – a show that might just be worth the watch for its sheer amusement.

As we journey through intricate character arcs and explosive drama, prepare for shocking revelations and intense family dynamics. From Pam's unexpected visit to Cliff's house to the heated Ewing family dinner, the stakes are higher than ever. We'll explore Donna and Cliff's budding relationship and its impact on JR, and delve into the strategic plotting that defines the Ewing legacy. Get ready for a rollercoaster of emotions and stay tuned as we prepare to discuss "Falcon Crest," Season 4, Episode 8, in our next installment.

Speaker 1:

and drinking thermonuclear yellow I'm talking Simpsons nuclear power plant yellow margaritas. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome and welcome back to Soap Floor, the official gathering place for newbies, novices and OG diehard fans of the golden age of primetime. I'm your host, jet, viewing and reviewing the soapiest, fudziest primetime story mind of 1980. That's right. We're lathering up with Dallas, season 4, episode 8, trouble Viewing 23. So, whether you're new to this or true to this, sit back and enjoy. Tell the kids it's time to play outside or out of sight. Tell they no questions, suggestions or concerns for the next 25 to 35 minutes, everyone else in earshot. You can be cool, you can be quiet or you can prepare yourself to be put out because we are dissecting our stories. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is SoFloor. Hello, gorgeous, hello, gorgeous. Welcome back party people to another fun publication of soap war. We are pushing them out this week.

Speaker 1:

I gotta tell you something I couldn't help myself. I couldn't help myself after I watched the last episode of dynasty. I, like I may or may not have let it roll on a little longer than it should. Next thing, you know, I'm watching the next episode and I was clutching pearls and gasping the whole time Couldn't help myself. Fantastic. I'm not saying that Dynasty isn't one of my favorites it definitely is, but all of these are. These are great shows, but it's definitely not the one I'm looking forward to the most when I think about all the shows in succession. But they are showing up and showing out, so I am forcing myself to get it together. I'm not going to keep peeking ahead because I mean eventually things are going to be spoiled, but that is par for the course. I am watching these 40 plus years later. It is what it is Today, though. Today seems like it's shaping up to be an explosive episode.

Speaker 1:

Watching Dallas season four, episode eight, trouble at Ewing 23. I'm actually far, far more interested in how Ray is going to. Is he going to continue to his way through his relationship with these Ewing's, or is he going to put his foot down? I don't see him asserting himself. I really don't, and it kind of makes sense to me now, like Ray has been all over Jock for the last six or seven episodes. I didn't really think much of it. I just thought Jock didn't have anywhere else to be. It didn't make sense to put him in the office. I guess they were trying to remind us how much they look alike, and I just didn't clock it. Not bad, though Not mad at it. Hoger Day is shaping up. Well, I hope you're ready to get into some debauchery. Hopefully, I don't really know.

Speaker 1:

I hadn't finished this episode. I've probably seen the first 10 minutes of it and then decided that I needed to go back. There are a couple of things that are coming to my attention. It's season four, by and large. Characters are established. Plots are only going to get more and more outrageous to keep the audience's attention. What I'm noticing now is that if I read the synopsis a lot of times, it tells the entire episode, and I don't know how I feel about that, because I haven't finished this episode. I'll go ahead and read the synopsis, and it is as follows An extortionist threatening to blow up Ewing 23 gives JR an opportunity to put a halt on his fading fortunes with a company and the family by outmaneuvering Bobby.

Speaker 1:

Okay, that sounds very, very general. I don't feel like that gives away anything. An extortionist threatening to blow up Ewing 23. Okay, well, I really don't care. I thought they closed it, they opened it. They closed it, they opened it. Aren't we looking for like? I don't remember it's such. It's one of those details I don't really care. I guess that when I started watching the show, I didn't really think about the fact that they're going to talk about oil a lot.

Speaker 1:

Whatever, okay, before we jump into that, we do have a little bit of fan mail. Full disclosure. I don't always know where it comes from. You guys want to chat with me? Go ahead, and you can send an email to soplorepodcasts at gmailcom or you can text me. Now, if you're listening to this on your iPad or iPhone or Android, whatever you're on, you can look in the show notes and there is like a five or six digit number. Text me your thoughts.

Speaker 1:

I love hearing from you guys. This one I do. It definitely didn't come from the fan mail and I have to apologize in advance because I am four months behind. It says four months ago. I'm going to say your name, since it's on here. Hope that's okay.

Speaker 1:

This is from Michelle B. Hey, michelle. It says Jet, I've just discovered your podcast. I retired in January and decided to binge watch Falcon Crest and I'm now absolutely hooked on it. Girl, I knew you would be. I'm telling you, I'm telling people about this in real time. This show was. I love it. Y'all know how I feel about the show Okay, hooked on it, and I'm just beginning season six.

Speaker 1:

I wanted to thank you so much for all for your podcast. As I said, I'm obsessed with the show and your podcast gives me just another way to relive it. I wanted to ask you how are you watching it, since Amazon slash freebie took it off their streaming? I was almost finished with season three when they took it off and I panicked. I went on a website called eCreator I guess that's what it's Equator eCreator, I'm assuming and was able to buy all nine seasons digitally for $19. I was skeptical at first, but they were delivered to my email and I downloaded them to an external drive that I can plug into my USB on my computer or TV, and the episodes are great audio and video. I'm excited to own all nine seasons anyway. Huge thanks for what you do. Your podcast is so enjoyable. Thank you for listening with me. Thank you so much, michelle.

Speaker 1:

I'm so happy to hear that this has been so much fun, especially, especially, falcon Crest. I feel like I go on and on about Falcon Crest all the time, but I just I had never heard of it. It is so much fun, so I'm glad you're reliving it. It sounds like you might've been an OG. I'd love to hear about that. Um, as far as where I'm watching it, you are right. I don't know if I ever told you guys that it was no longer free. On freebie I think I mentioned that earlier that they're on their dynasty shine I felt like they're trying to make up for the costumes because everybody is gorgeous and very well dressed on Falcon Crest.

Speaker 1:

So what I did is I was buying it one episode at a time because I thought I'd seen it airing other places and my intention was to go back and find it. By the time I watched like four episodes and the rest of the season was like 15 bucks. So I went ahead and bought it going forward. That adds up really, really quickly. I think they were like a dollar or like $1.99. So yeah, as much. I think my I kind of tap out at about 20 bucks. But if I'm watching four now, dallas still seems to be free and I feel like you can get Dallas. Dallas is one of those. You could go to Best Buy or one of these very few and far between book slash DVD shops and pick it up or find it used on eBay.

Speaker 1:

I went ahead and bought Knott's Landing. That was a one time thing. It's 12 seasons and it was definitely more than $19. Thank God I actually like in my thoughts or I can just, you know, resell those, or I can give them away. I can do, you know, do something fun with those. I'm not really worried about, it's a one time thing.

Speaker 1:

But then I did. I was looking on Etsy one day and I noticed that was on there digitally, so I picked it up. This was probably last week or so and you know what it works just as well. I don't have a DVD player with me everywhere I go, so sometimes one of my theater shows I want to watch it and it's the one show I can't like. I can't download it from Amazon, so I have to like have something else. But I'm with you on that. If you can get it for cheaper, why not? Especially if it's something you really really enjoy $19 as a steal. I'm actually a little jealous after I read your review. I did. I checked out that website. It seems legit. Like you said, everything worked out for you and I noticed that the manimal was on there. So you know, we'll see how that goes. I'm kind of obsessed with watching the manimal.

Speaker 1:

I don't know how long Craig Reardon is going to be on Falcon Crest, but it's just too funny to me. The concept is way too funny for me not to watch this. All right, guys, text me. Reach out If you're leaving a comment within the app. I know we're on a few different platforms. Leave it wherever. I'll find it. I don't know. I'm just glad you're listening and I'm glad you like it.

Speaker 1:

Let's see about this episode, though Remember to look in the show notes and text me. It doesn't have to be about this episode, though. Remember to look in the show notes and text me. It doesn't have to be about this episode, it can be about whatever you want. Okay, so, queens, I realize that I just said that I've watched about 10 minutes of this. Apparently not, it watched me for 10 minutes. I'm sitting here looking at this like I've never seen these people before in my life. I'm not going to flutter and stutter. Step on this today, I hope, but I'm 10 minutes. I'm sitting here looking at this like I've never seen these people before in my life. I'm not going to flutter and stutter step on this today, I hope, but I'm five minutes and 26 seconds in and I'm already annoyed.

Speaker 1:

So the opening scene is Ray Krebs, aka Ray Ewing. I almost forgot his name. Almost said Gia Birdie. Ray Krebs, ewing is crouched down. He's got a fistful of the earth. He is milling it about in his hands and he's just kind of looking out like a warlord on a country he just conquered, only not no, that's not even true, he's not. He looks like someone conquered, only not no, that's not even true, he's not. He looks like someone. He looks like Tom Hanks did when he got back on land on uh Castaway. You're like, wow, it's just majestic. You can tell it's getting. He's getting hit, all in the feels about it. He's enjoying it. Wow, look at this beautiful dirt. We get it. Ray loves freaking dirt. He's rubbing the earth in his hands like wow, wow. I don't know why that annoyed me. It was actually. I mean, when I say it out loud, it's quite beautiful, but visually I'm just like, oh, get on the damn horse and go on. So he hops on his trusty steed and he goes about his day. He's he's still ray krebs. He didn't want to take the ewing name, which is actually really smart. Unless you need it. You know what I'm saying. Keep it in the back pocket if you need to. But he's reminding his own business.

Speaker 1:

Sue ellen is once again laying out by the pool and she is getting a lot of sun this season and I'm not a fan of her stool pigeon routine. I don't like her as JR's. She's not even his sounding board. She's just like this pick me sidekick. So JR is walking back and forth drinking a glass of tea and he's like dang it, sue Ellen, I'm in my prime. I'm in my prime. She's like. I can attest to that. Yes, we, we get it. They're sleeping together. It's wonderful, we get it, never mind the fact that her baby sister is baking his alleged baby in her belly. But we'll talk about that at another date.

Speaker 1:

Sue Ellen has a thought that I had. Now she's sitting there listening to him rant and rave about why he should be running the company. She said, najera, why don't you just start another company? And I said, sue Ellen, you know what? I had the exact same thought. He's clearly. I mean, he can handle it. Let's be honest. He's not really worried about morals or feelings or honesty, or you know, it's all about the profit. He's proven time and time again that he can get that money. Even when the whole town hates him, even when he's pumped full of lead by his side chick, he's still running things remotely from bedside without it, without a computer, without a typewriter, without a legal pad. He's doing it with nothing but his digits and a hefty case of paranoia, and doing it well, might I add.

Speaker 1:

Well, ray comes galloping by minding his own business and sue ellen was like speaking of you wings and jr just kind of looks over his shoulder. The consensus from him at least is that he's not bothered by this. He has to focus on Bobby. Bobby is a Ewing. Bobby wants the throne. He sees that Bobby's actually kind of good at it. That's a threat to him. Ray doesn't seem to be a threat and I have to agree.

Speaker 1:

Ray loves dirt. He loves blondes as long as they can't read, and he loves hanging out with North Texas Lolita from time to time. Ray likes chasing horses. He likes smelling like cow doo doo from sunup to sundown. He likes getting up at can't see in the morning. He likes drinking an ice cold gallon of beer every other night and waking it late. That's his life. He's fine with that. He's a simple man with simple pleasures. I guarantee you he is not taking over any company anytime soon. You want to tell you? I'll tell you. What do y'all remember when brunette Gary back when Gary was a Jenner, do you remember how he had a huge conniption fit when the ladies were fussing over him and he had to read papers and he lost his freaking mind? You think gary lost his mind. What do you think ray's gonna do? You put some you know a book or a broad who can read more than 15 words in front of him. He's gonna lose his mind.

Speaker 1:

While I may have my doubts about ray's business acumen, ellie doesn't have any doubts about Ray in general. As a matter of fact, she likes him. She likes him quite a bit. I can totally see that he's got that soft, sensitive side. He's never actually done anything to piss her off. I still hold on to the belief she's not a huge fan of JR, despite him being her son plus.

Speaker 1:

She's now in 1.5 sons at this point. And gonna do? He's gonna do just fine. He likes the dirt, he likes the horses and stuff. She says as much when she and Jock are sitting on the front porch drinking nice tea, non-pillow pillow talk. She's like yeah right, he's a good egg, he, he loves the land, she loves that. He loves the land.

Speaker 1:

And I struggle sometimes with her whole. I feel like her role has expanded and then they'll kind of reduce her back to this. Just kind of one note I want to keep my family together. She didn't talk like that. She wants to keep her family together. It's all about the land. No fighting, no fussing, and yeah, we get it. We get it.

Speaker 1:

And I understand, as a mom, you want to. She's a matriarch of the family. She wants to ensure that there is a legacy to continue on for their grandchildren and any children that come after that. And I can understand how important the, the ranching, is to the family. It's just as important as the oil. I get that. So Ray is actually. He's a dream come true now. The more I think about it. Ray hits every note. He is a ranch come true Now, the more I think about it. Ray hits every note. He is a rancher. He doesn't seem to want much else. He's not a threat. He's been good to them all. This time he's only going to be better. So they have a quick little heart to heart.

Speaker 1:

She's a little embarrassed that she didn't notice that he was Jock's son earlier. I find that very hard to believe. As a woman, I just don't see that not coming crossing her mind at some point and I'm thinking to myself in 1.5 decades, why didn't it cross Jock's mind? Surely there was a mannerism or he has to sound like one of Jock's brothers or something. Some relative surely showed up and thought damn, that kid looks just like you.

Speaker 1:

That's neither here nor there, because this episode is reminding us that Ray is alive and well and walking around the ranch, that he is a Ewing. We're reminded that JR and Bobby are still kind of going at it. But JR's only goal in this life is to ruin, is to make sure he maintains the throne and the way that he and Sue Ellen go on and on about what's rightfully his and this is his company's run, blah, blah, blah. I'm like y'all are acting like he's inheriting the literal throne, like he's going to be the king of England or something at some point. It ain't that deep. No one else really cares about it that much Bobby cares, but he don't care like that. But that might be his Achilles heel after all.

Speaker 1:

So in order to get the story moving along, bobby's in his office one morning when a guy comes through and he's like hey, you remember old man Grayson? Well, he just died. He lives out by Ewing 23. Maybe we can scour his land, see if it's any good. I can't imagine why there wouldn't be oil on his land. If there's land on Ewing 23, bobby's like yeah, yeah, okay, that's cool. There's nothing out there but grass right now. Worst case scenario we can turn it into like herding ground or something. It's a win-win. I'll take a look at it, let me run it by my pops and then we'll talk about it.

Speaker 1:

So at the pre-dinner pep rally he does just that. He's telling Jock about old man Grayson dying. Jock agrees with him. He's like yeah, I mean not for nothing. We could probably get. We can get something out of it. If we don't get oil, we'll definitely use it as grazing ground for cattle. Hey, why don't you take your new brother, ray out with? Nobody knows dirt like Ray knows dirt, he is the dirt whisperer. He'll tell you exactly how many head of cattle can run out there. It'll be perfect.

Speaker 1:

Well, this of course, makes JR feel some kind of way. So he starts talking his pre-dinner-ish per usual blah, blah, blah. Oh, you worried about Ewing 23? Are you going to split it with Cliff? You know that's him and Pam's right. Unbeknownst to JR, earlier that day Pam had another meeting with her PI. Her PI has discovered that her mother was found alive. Let me make sure I get this right Mom was presumed to be dead.

Speaker 1:

I'm still trying to figure out this timeline with Pam and her mom. Now I thought this woman had given birth to her and died during that childbirth, which seems like it'd be pretty difficult to fake and died during that childbirth, which seems like it'd be pretty difficult to fake. On the episode with Digger Barnes in the flashback it looks like she was going to run away with Pam's real daddy when he was shot dead by Digger. Now I don't know if she had disappeared with or without Cliff. At this point it's very unclear. But at some point she gives birth and she must've dropped the babies off with Digger's auntie or his sister, who would be their auntie, and then disappeared off the face of the earth and they assumed she was dead. But I'm like, how is she dead when she dropped off the babies? It's all very blurry. I'm sure in time this will all be revealed, but in the meantime, in between time, pi says well, we thought your mama was dead this year.

Speaker 1:

It turned out she was still alive at least three years later. She was a waitress. Then she hooked up with some traveling salesman and his territory is in the southeast and southernmost part of Texas. Seems like she didn't travel very far, but I have to remember this would have been circa 1960 something. This is before there were actual pictures on IDs. She could have said her name was betty sue. She could have said her name was betty jane, doesn't matter, she wasn't found out because she was in plus diggers drunk. He wasn't looking for her. If everybody thinks you're dead, they're probably not looking for you.

Speaker 1:

And the bam was elated by this news. She left her her westonware fashion suit to go over to cliff's house now. Now Cliff. To her surprise she shows up. Cliff is setting up for a date and she's like oh okay, you're having tacos. This must be the fourth or fifth date. She's teasing him and he's real nervous. Like dang it, pam, you're supposed to call before you come over here.

Speaker 1:

Next thing she knows Miss Donna Culver comes sauntering in. I like Donna, so I'm not trying to make it sound like she was. You know how she is. She's very polite, very respectful. Hey, pam. Hey, this Pam is very uncomfortable. She leaves and when she leaves, clips is like well, I guess the Ewing dinner will be very interesting tonight.

Speaker 1:

I immediately thought no, pam knows how to keep it tight. She knows how to keep her lips shut. She's not going to say anything. That was until flashback to where we were before I started that little rant. Let's go back to the pre-dinner pepper.

Speaker 1:

She was cool until she was, until JR started running his mouth about how, you know, bobby's not running the company properly and he's just going to give away all their money. And it was the best thing they ever did to shut down Ewing 23. Now you got to open it and give them money. So Pam was like you know what? You got bigger problems than that homeboy. Bobby is running the company, so mind your business. But if I were you, I'd be on my P's and Q's and he's like well, what are you talking about? She said there are two people. He said something about cliff. I can't remember exactly what he said, but it pissed her off and she goes. Well, cliff has a new friend now. His boo thing is somebody you should be very worried about. Jr says who, pray tell, would that be donna culver, fool, get into it. She can just see his's, like his soul just sank to his butt. He's like, oh God, two people who can't stand me. Donna has the money, cliff has the mind. They're going to get together. They're going to read, write and formulate some arithmetic that rids him of his crown forever and ever. Amen.

Speaker 1:

Sue Ellen is looking away too, but I suspect, as JR does, as he admits a little bit later, that she feels a way about Cliff dating someone else. I wish they had dug into that a little bit more. I hate that she and Cliff ended the way they did. I know it could have never gone on. Well, it could. It could have gone on further than that, but I just I wish they had done a little bit more with that storyline. I feel like it just kind of disappeared really quickly. I also clocked Pam Culver not Pam, the hell, is her name on here. Donna Culver and Cliff have been together about seven weeks. I'm like Cliff usually gets you pregnant about six weeks, so she might want to take a test here or there.

Speaker 1:

Donna, being the class act that she is, is after she sees Pam. She's thinking about Ray, she's not thinking about anyone else. And the consensus from pretty much everybody, bobby and Cliff, is that well, they're going to find out about you dating whoever you date eventually. So it's not that big a deal. But she, being the class act, decides she's going to go put eyes on Ray and tell him face to face. So she shows up the next morning. He'd already seen her in the newspaper, but he saw her like in an event and he just got those old feelings back. Ray is having a lot of reminiscing. I mean, he's trying to figure out who he is now, but he's still maintaining that he's thinking about who he is. He's not actually changing anything, but you can see that he never wanted to get rid of Donna.

Speaker 1:

And sure enough she shows up, classy as she can be, and she's like. I want you to hear from me first, I'm messing around with Cliff. Cliff and I are a date, an item, we are a thing. And you can see Ray's trying to, he's trying to save face, he's yuck, yuck, all shucks in it up and she says you know, um, he's fun, he's fun and he's smart and he's easy to be around. But the god honest truth is, it's not like what me and you had. It's not the same thing, but I just got tired of being lonely. My god, that hurts, but good on her for being honest with herself. This is what it is now.

Speaker 1:

Pam seems to think cliff might be using her. They go to have lunch one day and they're drinking. They're having Mexican food and drinking thermonuclear yellow I'm talking Simpsons, nuclear power plant, yellow margaritas. And she's telling him about their mom and he says for the 45th time, I ain't got no mama, I ain't got no mama. Says for the 45th time, I ain't got no mama, I ain't got no mama. To his point, this woman left us 20 years ago. She left us more than more than once, so I'm not really excited about hearing from her. If I were you, I wouldn't put too much stock in that. This pisses clamp him off a little bit, but she's trying to be classy about it. So she asked him well, do you like Donna for her money or you like Donna for her cash? Mind your business, little girl. All right.

Speaker 1:

So the main event goes a little something like this Ewing 23 isn't just one wellhead, like I thought, it's actually a huge field. There are tons of Derricks. Picture the Dynasty logo like that Derrick, like 40 or 50 of those Huge, huge. So shutting it down would have been a massive feat. The foreman calls as. Ray and Bobby are waxing poetic about being Ewing's and you know Ray's acclimation to this news. He's taking it pretty easy. They're just kind of talking a little bit while Ray feels on the ground he's like I mean, I'm not for nothing to throw any oil. We can definitely grow some crop out here. Have the the cattle here, it'll be perfect. This man comes revving up in this, uh, in this Jeep and he's like oh my God, some lunatic talking about there's a bomb on Ewing 23.

Speaker 1:

Going into this I picture just kind of one rig, but there's dozens of them, so it's pandemonium. They're looking around. They don't know if this is a crank phone call or if this is the truth. They go into something they call it the field house. I saw this and immediately a core memory was unlocked. I saw a dog house, not like a dog house where an actual animal, if you grew up in the Southwest or if you grew up in maybe Wyoming, anywhere in the world where they have oiled fields, meaning just vast pieces of property, but there's not a lot on it different pump jacks, oil head, all that kind of stuff, different pipelines. If you grew up around those or you have a family member who worked in them, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1:

They called it a doghouse back in the day. My dad used to work in the oil field. They called it a doghouse back in the day my dad used to work in the oil field and what it is is just this kind of nondescript small little. I don't want to call it a shack because it's pretty put together, but I guess you'd call it like a little cabin. Now you go in there and they would have topographical maps all over the place, all on the walls there would be, if I remember correctly, there was not a computer, but they had like that old fashioned kind of standard ledger book where you write down the different measurements and whoever and it's all. It's usually about two people, two to three people per day. That would be keeping an eye on these different derricks or pump jacks or whatever, reading the pressure and all that jazz. If something had gone wrong you can kind of see it in there Now, the closer it is to land. This is, this is would have been late 80s, early 90s, and I'm remembering this. There was, I think there was a phone, but obviously electricity. It was kind of hard to get electricity to those things, so sometimes they had it, sometimes they don't. Anyway, electricity it was kind of hard to get electricity to those things, so sometimes they had it, sometimes they don't. Anyway, warmed my heart to see it.

Speaker 1:

Bobby goes into the doghouse or the field house. He takes a phone call and it's the bomber. The bomber says listen, I need a jet filled with gas, I need five million dollars, and there better not be a cop anywhere around. I will blow this place to smithereens. Now, at this point they still don't know if he's serious or not. So he's like he's reading their mind. Obviously. He says just to show you how serious I am, click. He pushes a button, blows up a random tool, shed. So like, okay, not for nothing, he has at least one bomb out here.

Speaker 1:

Bobby's freaking out, but he's thinking, okay, I gotta get five million dollars by 4 30. It is noon 30. At this point he calls JR, who is chilling at the office. He says JR, I need you to call different banks. I just we're trying to raise the money. We need five million dollars. Jr's like no, I don't really think we should fold for this guy. He's like dude. Do you know what kind of destruction this is going to cause if he blows up viewing 23? I won't bore you with the details, but I will bore you with the buildup. Jr's do-dirt banker follows JR's do-dirt orders to not call bankers in Dallas for the money. Bobby's do-good banker follows Bobby's do-gooder orders. He calls bankers in Fort Worth and is able to raise the money. The money is then to be dropped off at Ewing Oil.

Speaker 1:

Jr is supposed to hop on a plane, but he is dragging his feet. It's like 3.20. He's wasting his time. Jr's do-dirt secretary seems to be in on it. She's spying on Bobby, giving him all this information. Bobby's do-gooder secretary is side-eyeing JR's secretary. She can't stand her. Eventually the clock is ticking. It's getting closer and closer.

Speaker 1:

The cops had to show up, unfortunately, because the shed blew up, but they're walking around. It's like 10 till. They're like guess what? We ain't no sense in us all getting blew up, let's get out of here. So they leave. But Bobby, the foreman and ray are kind of chilling. I forgot this part. Let me just slip this in. The foreman needs a raise. Let's just say that this man has been brave, he's been smart. He was sitting around thinking like, okay, there's several people, your brother pissed off but there's only two pyrotechnic guys out here. One's name is duke and the other's name is, uh, gillis. Luckily, duke only lived a stone's throw away from them in a trailer park, so they run on down to duke's house, but duke is passed out drunk from bourbon in the middle of the day. So all sources are pointing to gillis being the bomber, and he is so.

Speaker 1:

In a very dramatic, very long scene you see bobby and ray just looking out over the field at ewing 23. They're looking, they're looking, they're looking, they're looking, they're looking. They get in the Jeep, they get to the airport and they're looking there. We see guys washing trucks. We see guys doing a lot and I thought, oh my God, this is taking forever. I forced myself to rewind. It was really only like a minute, but I'm like dang, I have a micro millennial attention span. You couldn't have convinced me that wasn't a 45 minute wait. I'm like forget. Like just leave. At this point, there's no, there's no point. I have to give you the cops. There's no point in this all being blown to smithereens. Well, right about this time we see an airplane. It comes out and it does a reverse. It does like a 16 point turn. We see a crop fly. I'm like Jesus, where is Chase DiOberto? You need him. Y'all get to the getting.

Speaker 1:

Eventually, it is like 14 seconds to 4 pm. Jr lands a plane or someone lands JR's plane in a very dramatic flanking scene which I really enjoyed. Two Texas Rangers, I'm assuming, jump out first. Jr stands behind them in his boss hog hat and out comes running out of nowhere, sweating profusely. Gillis, he's still got on a full coverall outfit and he's running in slow motion. Now you can tell the camera didn't slow down, he literally running in slow motion.

Speaker 1:

Jr um has the cops, pow, pow, pow pow. So they light him up. The man falls there's no blood, by the way, not a stitch of blood after like 18 bullets. Slams into the ground, drops a little remote control with the detonator, but in his last will and testament, if he ain't gonna do nothing else, he's gonna keep his word. Before his last breath, he finger crawls over to the detonator and he flicks a little red thing down and kaboom, baby, you wanna talk about cinematic mastery? You know how I go on and on about on Falcon Crest.

Speaker 1:

This is like Indiana, chase and the Vineyard of Doom, that level of Steven Spielberg, michael Bay explosions. Do you remember how you felt the first time you watched Jurassic Park? And it was like, oh my God, this looks so real. Dallas had money, y'all. Dallas had 14 cents for their pyrotechnic budget. Baby, they use all the graphics KB Toy Stores and Toys R Us could buy. They came together with the two pixel explosion. It was like watching Sharknado. It was amazing. Oh, baby, it was, oh, it was a sight to see.

Speaker 1:

If you don't do anything else today, I implore you to go to your Amazon Prime app, toggle down to the freebie app, watch season four, episode eight of Dallas, if for no other reason than this glorious, glorious, high definition explosion. Oh, it was a sight to behold. And, needless to say, bobby was pissed. But I'm like he was never going to play ball with you, bobby. I don't know why, as someone who's had to cover up for JR time and time again, I don't know why he thought he would do right by you. He ain't gonna never do right by you. So, needless to say, the five million dollars is not a big deal. It can be returned to all the banks, but Ewing 23 is dead and gone. It's forever gone. It's a shame.

Speaker 1:

Well, I don't know how that works. I could probably call someone. It would seem to me that the oil underground is probably fine. It would just be replacing the equipment. It's fine. The oil isn't like surface level, it's down there pretty deeply. They'll figure it out.

Speaker 1:

Before I let y'all go, I just had a couple of notes. This whole Ray thing. I wonder if they are oversimplifying this man. There's not a lot of nuance with him. He's got that all shucks. I'm either. I'm kind of sick. He's very.

Speaker 1:

One note he does almost cry in this episode, but it's just. It's almost like it's the way he holds his face that takes you out of it. Who is that that I was so annoyed with when we were watching the Yellow Rose and Chase would come through Sam Elliott with that thick, thick, thick peanut butter, thick mustache and he'd be smirking in the middle of this like beautiful, dramatic moment. Ray gives me that same vibe. He always pulls me out of a scene with the all shucks thing. It's a little endearing. It's like I'm kind of torn. It's endearing.

Speaker 1:

But sometimes I wonder if they are just kind of oversimplifying him. He's got to be more than man candy at some point. I mean he's cute, right, he's cute. I would imagine he's a hard problem. This is just me buying into the context clues. He's always shirtless, he's always sweaty, he's got a regular dad body, which I fully appreciate, but they're turning, not turning him into. There doesn't seem to be a lot of substance there. We'll give it time. He just found out he's jock's son, but he's just so, oh, I'm just so grateful. I don't want, I don't want to hurt nobody. I don't want to upset you, miss Ellie. I'm just like you're a child in this situation. It's not your fault, it's not your fault. Jock's a hoe, I a married one at that, twice married at that, anyway.

Speaker 1:

Other little caveat that I couldn't help but notice this episode is that the secretaries don't really like each other. They're they're in close quarters. Jr's secretary is recently married, but she is sleeping with him. Bobby's secretary wants to sleep with him. So I don't know if it's like a jealousy thing, but I saw it. This, this episode. I'm hoping there's going to be a little bit of fireworks a little later on with that. They can't stand each other. They have to sit in close quarters. So, last but not least, there seems to be this theme this season of us versus them, the couple's edition, us versus them. The couples edition it's not Pam and Bobby, it's not Lucy and her boo, it's not. I guess those are the only couples.

Speaker 1:

But you got Donna Culver and Cliff plotting at dinner on JR's demise. Now I find it very difficult to believe that Donna Culver would be as foolhardy as that. This is a very bright woman and I also find it very difficult to believe that Cliff would be that obsessed at this point in his life. How many titles have been stripped away from him at this point? Why would he keep on this particular path? But I guess he's working smarter, not harder, this time. We'll have to see how that plays out.

Speaker 1:

Butr and and almost call her sylvie. Oh, too many people. Jr and my girl, sue ellen. I hate, I hate that my girl has been reduced to his stool pigeon. Just, jr, this is rightfully yours. They're so wrong taking this from you. No, they're not. You know, they're not. You know who he is. Just because y'all are having good sex all of a sudden, she can't remember the past. But they're sitting in their aquamarine evil lair, aka their bedroom smiling at each other, talking about well and I'm going to take him out. Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck. Can we just stop? Y'all have literally not left the house in two months.

Speaker 1:

I think several things can be true at the same time. You can despise someone, but they are not taking away from the majesty and the brilliance of your own mind. Cliff is a brilliant man. Donna Culver is a bright woman. Why don't y'all plot and build something of your own? There's a lot of land in Texas, especially 1980. A lot of land.

Speaker 1:

You can go do this. You can do this 15 times over. She has the funding and she'll have the political backing. Go do something better, jr. Why settle for ewing oil when you can have 15 different ewing oils? It just I mean. I understand this is drama, I understand we need tension in the family, but seems like a waste of time by and large. All right, guys, that's it, that's all. Join me next time as we jump into falcon crust, season 4, episode 8. I hope you enjoyed this episode. I know I did. If you want to leave me a line, go ahead and check the show notes and text me. Remember, if you ever receive an extortion call and someone tells you they're going to be at the airport at 4 30, show up at 3 15. Save yourself a headache. Keep your enemies close, your friends closer in your remote closeness. Stay hydrated, moisturize, mind your own business and keep all of your drama on tv. Thank you, bye.