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Soaplore
Ever wondered what you missed out on before the golden age of streaming? Welcome to Soaplore, the podcast where we dive headfirst into the wonderfully over-the-top world of vintage soap operas from the 80s and 90s. I’m Jett, a TV-loving Millennial who’s finally escaping the monotony of modern shows and embracing the drama, the shoulder pads, and the catfights of yesteryear.
Join me as I experience the soapy sagas of "Dynasty," "Dallas," "Falcon Crest," and "Knots Landing" for the first time, episode by episode. With over 200 shows, we’ll laugh, we’ll cry, and we’ll probably question our life choices—just like the characters do, but with slightly less fabulous wardrobes.
Whether you’re a Xillenial who grew up with these iconic series, a Millennial like me who missed out the first time around, or a new fan discovering the glorious chaos of primetime soaps, "Soaplore" is your time machine to the melodramatic past. Tune in, relive the magic, and let’s marvel together at how people ever survived without binge-watching.
Pour yourself a glass of something strong, because, trust me, you’ll need it. This isn’t just nostalgia; this is Soaplore—where every episode is a rollercoaster of emotions, and nothing is ever as it seems.
Soaplore
S2 Ep7 Knots Landing - Breach of Faith: The "League of Ordinary and Unfaithful Gentlemen" Episode
What happens when ambition collides with responsibility, and friendships are tested by betrayal? Discover the tangled relationships and raw emotions of Knots Landing's 1980s soap opera world in our latest episode. We'll unravel the drama of season two, episode seven, "Breach of Faith," drawing fascinating parallels to the golden age of reality TV with iconic shows like "Bridezilla." You won't want to miss our recount of a real-life bachelorette party fiasco that mirrors the outrageous antics of your favorite TV characters.
Join us as we toast to Laura Avery's milestone achievement of becoming an official realtor in Southern California, only to see the celebration tainted by Richard's inappropriate behavior and Gary's deceit. With relationships under strain, we'll dissect the complexities of Val and Gary's rocky marriage, Ginger and Kenny's tumultuous divorce, and the brewing tension between Richard and Abby. Through the lens of a wild dinner party, we explore themes of ambition, accountability, and the pressures of maintaining personal and professional balance.
From drunken mishaps to infidelity revelations, we expose the dark side of the cul-de-sac's social dynamics. Hear how Earl's drunken antics and Gary's lies add fuel to the fire, creating chaos and heartbreak. Reflect on the moral failings of the men in the show, as we question their integrity and the impact of their actions on those they love. Grab your favorite drink and buckle up for a rollercoaster of scandalous storylines and juicy details that promise to entertain and provoke thought.
Okay, you cheated on my BFF, but I'm still going to support your endeavors. And now I have to compliment your side, chick. Welcome. And welcome back to SoFlor, the official gathering place for newbies, not OG diehard fans of the golden age of primetime. I'm your host, jett, viewing and reviewing one of the most infuriating storylines of 1980. So, whether you're new to this or true to this, sit back and enjoy. Tell the kids it's time to play outside or out of sight. Tell they no questions, objections or concerns for the next 25 to 35 minutes. Everyone else in the air shop. Be cool, quiet or you will be kicked out. I have no games to play today. We are talking about my stories. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is Soap. Lord is so cool. What's up party people? Welcome back to another fun build. Actually, no, this one is filled with the worst. I hope you're gonna shake me up. Well, you definitely need something to kick back this one's. So settle in and let's get into the storyline.
Speaker 1:Season two, episode seven Upnot's Landing Breach of Trust. Now, obviously, we understand somebody's feelings are going to be hurt based on this title. This is the episode that I began to watch accidentally, and within the first few minutes. Of course I was able to, and within the first few minutes. Of course I was able to tell within the first 15 minutes. Oops, maybe I missed something, but I just wasn't prepared for the level of just foolishness in this. One Called myself a TV kid for a long time and one of my favorite shows as an adult once I moved out of the house, went to college and came home, one of my favorite things to watch was good old fashioned reality TV and, of course, when I was very young, the real world came out.
Speaker 1:I kind of grew up watching real world road rules, which morphed into like Big Brother at some point, and then came the horrible Ratchet television. It's not horrible, it was purely entertaining, if you allow it to be. One of my favorite shows was Bridezilla. If you watch reality tv or you did back in the day, circa like 2000, what like four through maybe 2013-14, when an original series began you you better bet your money that the first two seasons were going to be the best, because these people don't know. There's not really a formula. They're just doing what they need to do. They're doing things that they think are funny, they think they look cool, but it creates this really fun sort of rhythm on most shows. One of my favorite shows was Bridezilla Bridezilla.
Speaker 1:The basis of it is that these girls are getting married and they are being absolute nightmares. Seemingly lovely women, most of them at first, but something about getting married turned them into these monsters. They'd be flipping out. They're cussing out bridesmaids. They had a whole reign of terror before their wedding.
Speaker 1:What you didn't see very often was a guest zealot, that is, a mother-in-law or a sister-in-law or just a random friend who tries to steal the spotlight, which I witnessed in real life. One time at a bachelorette party I showed up as a friend of a friend. I had met the bride maybe a month before, but she and my good friend were good friends and this girl was just really lovely, super sweet, very excited about getting married. She and the men were head over heels for each other. It seems like everything was going to go well. She was concerned about not necessarily the families getting along, but the mother-in-law. She thought there was going to be some drama between the mother-in-law and herself at some point because this was a very serious woman, very particular, very religious, you know. It was one of those situations where she felt like the mother-in-law was receiving her, but she wasn't really talking a lot.
Speaker 1:So the day of the party starts and all the guests are there. We're having a wonderful time. The bride-to-be comes out and she's wearing like this, really lovely. It's not a full-on ball gown, because this was probably about 4 30 in the afternoon, but it was going to go into the night. It was a different sort of setup. There was no strippers or anything. It was just like a I think it was a some sort of like like there were gifts and then we were going to go eat after. If I remember correctly, this has been forever ago. But she comes out, she looks really lovely, like she's. It's very clear that she's a bride. She's wearing lighter colors, everyone else is being respectful, wearing other colors, and her mother-in to be shows up and she's just, you know, normal. She seems to be having a good time.
Speaker 1:Well, in walks the bride's mother and she is wearing this long gold gown, long sleeves, I mean. Her hair is done up and you could immediately feel the temperature sort of drop in the room. Everyone's looking side to side just like whoa, what, where did that come from? Now the girl's entire, the bride's entire family is there her aunt, girl, cousins, the brooms family is there as well, his. Then they're all kind of looking like, okay, well, what is this is she gonna do?
Speaker 1:And the mother of the bride starts taking over. She gets on the microphone and she talks about how much she sacrificed to have this girl and you know it was so hard to raise her. It was. It started out kind of okay, but the speech got progressively more demeaning towards the bride and I'm just sitting there thinking and my friend is she like why would your mom do this at your day? Thank god it's not the wedding, but but this is, I mean, it didn't really matter at this point you were embarrassing this girl. So, to my shock and surprise, and most of the guests surprised, the mother-in-law stands up and snatches the mic and she says I don't know your daughter very well, but what I do know is this is a beautiful soul who has brought so much joy to my son and to my family. And you know she basically redeems, you know she takes. She moves the attention away from the mother of the bride back onto the bride and the bride is kind of fighting back tears because she's mortified and this is very clear that this is not the first time that this has happened. It was very embarrassing. But the rest of the party you know everybody tried to make it. You know, make up for it. And a little later on you see the bride's aunt like having it out with the bride's mother, the mother of show. It was a horrible scene but the families tried their very best to push the scene stealer out of the way and then let this girl enjoy her day. Scene stealer out of the way and then let this girl enjoy her day. Such is not the case on this episode of Not Slanting. We have ourselves a guestzilla and then we have to explore the varying levels of F-boyery. I'm so upset, y'all, I can't even sugarcoat this episode. Grab something to drink.
Speaker 1:Let's jump into season two, episode seven Knot's Landing. Breach of Trust. My bad guys, this one is not called Breach of Trust, it's called Breach of Faith. The trust is obviously going to be broken within this episode. Once again, we have a central event and events within the event making up this episode.
Speaker 1:On this particular episode, it is all about our girl, laura Avery. Laura has completed all of the qualifications, all the certifications. She is an official realtor in SoCal. Life is wonderful, so her friends, per usual, rally around her. They want to celebrate. If these people don't like to do anything else, they like a good old fashioned kickback. They're going to have a dinner party at the drop of a dime. This is no exception. They want to celebrate their girl.
Speaker 1:Now, when last we left after the the benefit dance slash talent show, we had a few different revelations. We know Richard and Abby have definitely hooked up. Richard is not working. Abby is sort of a soft spot to land in, not really sure what he's doing for her, but he's there nonetheless. Kenny and Ginger are going through divorce procedures. At her hand she decided she wants a divorce. She is dating Carl, the pediatrician, who is really I don't know if he's love bombing her or if he is just trying to be a good friend. We'll get into that. The Farragates are going through their thing. They seem to be on the up and up, no real major issues at the moment.
Speaker 1:And then we had Val and Thighs of Steel. What's his name? Gary? Almost called him Terry, val and Gary. So let's jump into sort of the throwaway scenes that aren't really throwaway scenes in this episode, it's all relative.
Speaker 1:At the beginning of the episode, val and Ginger bump into each other at the lady doctor. Hey girl, hey girl, what you doing here. You know what it is. Ladies, you got to do that annual thing Make sure all the pipes are nice and clean, making sure everything is A-OK. Ginger, I suspect, is there so that she can get on some sort of control. You know this is a new relationship. She's ending a marriage, she's in something new. Now is not the time for any surprises.
Speaker 1:Valene, on the other hand, has been waiting many, many moons to be a mother. She is having the time of her life being sort of a surrogate mother to Abby's children, but at the end of the day she wants her. She wants something with Gary. This is she's reliving her life, she's getting to do it the right way and she just wants to make sure everything is A-OK. As far as Valene goes, the doctor tells her that there's no reason she and Gary can't have a baby the natural way, so long as they are a little bit more practice in it, like they're gonna have to be in a little bit of a schedule, figure out her ovulation and all that fun stuff. Hopefully kids are out of sight for this one, or if not, at least not the first part. But you know she's making sure everything is everything, and so far, so good.
Speaker 1:Now this last episode the itty bitty baby blue shorts scene where he was showing everybody how fine he was, how summertime fine he was is all starting to make a little bit more sense. And I go back even further to God. What were they watching? They're always in that school gym. Gary has been distracted with work for this entire season. Besides work, it's also, you know, he's taken on the role as a sponsor for my favorite drunk on primetime television. That's right, dagger Barnes, move over.
Speaker 1:It is all about our boy, earl the brooding writer. He's Earl's sponsor, which means Judy's in his life as well, and although Valene is okay with all of this, it is also. It's starting to take its toll. Gary is home less and less and less. I can kind of see his point because he's trying to build a name for himself. This is the longest he's ever been clean and sober. He wants to build a foundation so that if and when they have their own children again forget about Lucy, lucy's grown you know he can support them.
Speaker 1:I kind of call BS on this because you already living in a house that your parents bought, I mean no shade, I wouldn't turn down a house today. My mom and dad want to buy us a brand new house. I'm going to take it. But I guess it's a different sort of pressure and I think that's sort of one of the underlying themes of this episode to men needing something, something to build or something to conquer. You see this with Richard a little bit. Gary has found his thing. Now I'm still concerned about him being a sponsor because, although I haven't dealt with that in my life, I'm thinking to myself if you are fresh off of a bender, you know less than six months ago, it seems like a lot of pressure to have to keep someone else who doesn't really want to be sober on track. That's the thing. If Earl, if he wanted the help, if he actually really, really wanted it, it would be a little bit different. We can start to see the cracks in the relationship a little bit. She's starting to get annoyed with him being gone so much she needed his help, or so she said at the benefit situation last week. That turned out okay. He didn't really show up to help because she had it under control. But it's more and more and more now on.
Speaker 1:Tonight it's laura's celebration party. Everyone is super excited. Gary has once again forgotten. Now this is annoying valine. She's like nagar, you need to be there, he says. He gives her the whole spiel about working. And then the phone rings and it is judy, who is earl's wife, like, oh my god, earl's on the run again, could y'all come help me? Valine sort of kicking herself for offering this help. That's what she gets for being the bad diet onion queen, you being so hospitable and so southern bellish. Sometimes you got to take a step back. Now she's dang it. You're not going to be able to enjoy this party. I just know they're going to call you. He's like no, no, no, they're not going to call me. In the meantime, in between time, he gives Judy the phone number. He's like you know you have any problems, I won't be here tonight. I want you to dial 555-2425. Remember that number, darling. You just call anytime, okay, he doesn't say it like that. So that's their morning prep for this party.
Speaker 1:We also find out on this episode that Richard has been on something like 11 or 12 different interviews. Nothing is coming up. So it's not for trying and that is incredibly discouraging and incredibly infuriating to want to work and not have the opportunity to do so, to want to work and not have the opportunity to do so. And, truth be told, he's already never been a fan of Laura working. He's certainly not a fan of her being the breadwinner, and now, on top of that, she's going to be celebrated for hitting this milestone relatively quickly. Laura seems to be that chick.
Speaker 1:Now Karen is witnessing all of this and you can tell that she's picking up on the fact that he's kind of a bitter Betty. She's been watching him with Abby. She suspects something, but she's keeping it cool. Like, hey, rich, you're going to help out with this party, right? Like, basically, she does the motherly thing to him. Hey, you're going to help me with this party, right, you're not going to act up? Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine, he's fine, okay.
Speaker 1:So this entire episode is only about this day and the following day, right? So that night's gonna be the party and everyone has their plans to attend, except ginger. Now ginger and carl are really really hitting it off. He's bringing her flowers. They're supposed to go to an opera or a play that night. Only, he got the dates wrong and that's in the first, second or third time he's done that. So I don't know if I'm reading too much into the situation, but it's like he always finds a way to spend that day with her. I suppose in this instance he really did just mix up the dates because he offers okay, well, let's just go do a movie. It isn't like she had other plans and he needed to thwart them, as in when she was trying to go to San Francisco to visit her mom. In this case he just missed a date. So he's like well, let's just go, let's go to a movie, we'll find something else to do. Let's go to dinner. Well, she's thinking well, let's go ahead and go to go to a party. He asked who and she's like it's Laura Avery. He knows Laura Avery's because he's he's Jason's pediatrician. So he's like oh, absolutely, but this is sort of them kind of being like Facebook official. Or is Kenny going to be there? She didn't really care, so he might. I mean he's going to figure it out one way or another. So let's just go. And Kenny is fully living with Sylvie. So his opinion is a moot opinion. At this point.
Speaker 1:Party kicks off. It is at. I think it's it's either, I think it's a SIDS. No, no, no, it's at the Avery's house, it's definitely at their house. Ginger and Carl show up and Valene immediately pulls her aside. She their house. Ginger and Carl show up and Valene immediately pulls her aside. She's like hey, girl, I'm so glad to see you, but I didn't think you were coming, so I invited Kenny. This is an angle I hadn't really thought about.
Speaker 1:This is such a tight knit friend group. Everybody knows that they're getting separated. Kenny has been kind of coming over solo by himself just to see Ginger over and over. But it really does put the friend group in a weird position because they're still his friend even though they're separated. They're still his friend and they try to be supportive to both parties. So everyone knows Ginger is dating someone else. They have absolutely no reason not to like Carl. Everybody likes him.
Speaker 1:Kenny definitely shows up a little later and it's super awkward. Laura tries her best like hey, kenny, everything's going great. Man, sylvie's song. I hear Sylvie's song on the radio. She sounds so good. How awkward is that to be like okay, you cheated on my BFF, but I'm still going to support your endeavors and now I have to compliment your side. Chick, things are great. Just in case they get married is what I'm thinking. Like it just it makes it a little bit more awkward and I didn't really realize that the rest of the friend group was acknowledging Sylvie as his spout or his significant other. I'm not sure I would. I don't know how I would handle that. I guess if we were friends with the couple I would probably avoid bringing up Sylvie if I could help it. That's just me.
Speaker 1:Sure enough, as everybody is chilling, they're waiting on the steaks to cook. It's the usual suspects plus Abby. The phone does ring at 555-2425 and it is Judy, earl's wife, like hey, could you please come help me? Valene's a little bit annoyed and Gary does need to take off. Luckily her loss is our gain because we get the best cameo of the season so far.
Speaker 1:Our drunk friend Earl comes in with the zingers. So Judy fills in Gary once he meets her at the spot, which is like some random hotel somewhere in Knott's Landing, and she explains to him that although Earl has not been drinking, he has been an absolute nightmare. He's been a sober Zilla. He's just kind of mean. He's ugly, with or without the booze. It's been very difficult, but on this particular evening he decided to attend this writer's conference and there's one person at the conference he's always kind of had some sort of a pass with, but when it was a room full of writers, it's like his insecurities got him. He got super drunk and he's just been floating around ever since. They can't find him. It's a mess. So she's pissed. She's outside the the hotel and her members only jacket, just angry, like I can't believe I'm in this position again. And remember valine was the one who convinced her to go to the AA meetings, even though Earl refused to show up. Valene and Gary have been very much involved in his sobriety, although Judy and Gary were a little more reluctant to help. So now that they're in it, valene can see that this guy's kind of a pain in the butt. He's not really going anywhere. He's not really doing what he needs to. Now Judy and Gary are forced to basically have a stakeout outside of the conference or on the street where the conference is. They're basically just sitting at their car, at Judy in Earl's car, thinking he has to come back to that, rather than them going up and down the street looking for him. It's a solid plan.
Speaker 1:Meanwhile, back at the party, richard is not doing well. He is. He's about a bottle and a half deep into some cheap champagne. And he is. He's. He's making ugly comments. He is filling all up and down abby. Everybody sees it.
Speaker 1:We also find out a little more information. This episode richard tends to get handsy when he is drunk. Apparently he felt ginger up a couple years ago. Nobody said anything about it, and on this particular night he's you know, he's touching up and down on Abby. It's very obvious to the women, especially Laura, what's going on. Like he's trying to kiss her shoulder, he's like rubbing up against it. It's bad, it's horrible, horrible.
Speaker 1:Karen sees this and she's getting pissed. She taps, sid. She's like so, sid, you need to go talk to your sister. Tell her no, okay, let me finish my sentence. Sid, you need to go talk to your sister. And he's like what do I do? She's a grown woman, it's none of my, it's none of my business, it's not my fault. She's like I know it's not your fault, but you need to do something. You need to do something and abby is not innocent here. This isn't like the ginger thing.
Speaker 1:Abby seems like she's kind of a participant. So he goes over and he tries to casually hey, abs, do you think you can, you know, do something about richard? And she's like what? I'm chilling. I came to get a plate and drink some champagne. I'm not not here for the mess that's him he's like, I know, but could you handle it? Can we just normalize holding people accountable for their own actions? Why is it Abby's responsibility? Yes, they're doing a little something on the side.
Speaker 1:She's playing her part. She's not out there. She's not rubbing up on him. She's eating steak, trying to drink a little champagne, mixing and mingling, being a snake in the grass. Champagne mixing and mingling, being a snake in the grass, mind you. But she's doing it respectfully. She's not trying to start anything. It is all Richard. But nobody and I do mean nobody is checking Richard until my girl, karen, decides she's had enough. She's like Richard, get in this house. They get in the house, she goes. You are acting like a complete ass. Cut it out, celebrate your wife. He's not trying to hear it and he's like Karen, if I ever want to hook up with you which I never would I'll call you Basically, he says something to that effect and there he goes again.
Speaker 1:Now I felt bad after last episode when I called him Gargamel. I was like Jet, that was really rude. You shouldn't be talking about people like that. But I mean, yes, I did mean looks a little bit, but he's not unattractive, he's just sleazy, he's slimy. I felt bad, but then I retract that statement. I feel just fine calling him that. First off, sir, you see what I mean. You see what I mean when this below average man and I'm not talking about height, I'm talking about quality I want to spend time with you type man Gets a little bit of attention. Now he's smelling us, though. Now he thinks he's the catch. Sir, have another bottle of champagne. Go to bed, please Get somewhere and sit down as if he would stand a chance with Karen, as if.
Speaker 1:Well, the night goes on. Kenny and Carl have a brief little interaction. Nothing pops off, but you can tell that he is tormented, kenny, that is, he is watching Ginger have the time of her life. Carl comes over like a man. He's like yo, I'm Carl, I'm Kenny. Ward, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:Sylvie's not there. Thank God she didn't come singing in. I thought I was waiting for it, I was holding my breath. I thought she was going to come sha-la-la-la-lying into the backyard barbecue making her presence known, but she doesn't.
Speaker 1:Jinder and Carl are having a good little time. They're looking so cute. They're just playing ping pong and he's just watching her bad. And he's just kind of sitting in his foolishness marinating in his mistakes Like dang. And it's before long, it's too much, he has to get up, he has to leave. He's like I'm sorry, I'm sorry guys, thank you, can't take it anymore. He leaves.
Speaker 1:Meanwhile, richard is successfully burning all of the steaks. He's grabbing all on Abby. He's running his fingers up and down her décolletage, tickling her cleavage and stuff Shameless. The whole world sees it. Val gets on him, almost cusses him out because he burnt down the steaks. But he's really super, super drunk at this point.
Speaker 1:And speaking of drunk, on the other side of town our boy Earl makes his appearance. He comes stumbling out of a hotel or a hotel bar and he sees something that me and, I'm assuming, the rest of the audience don't see. Doesn't seem to me like Judy has any interest in anybody. She just seems super annoyed and she's chilling there with Gary. Well, out comes Earl and he's like oh, is this the flavor of the week? Yeah, gary, you kind of fit the type, you're her type. She's into the urban cowboy. All of a sudden, what was that good old boy's name? He basically blowing up her spot, saying that she's been cheating on him with little randoms, particularly country boys. She likes a good old corn fed country man to keep her company.
Speaker 1:There's some sort of choreographed fight that's supposed to happen. Only, gary is summertime, fine and very strong, so he squats, earl swings and the punch intended for gary lands on judy's cheek. She falls to the ground. Gary doesn't continue to beat down. You would think good old country boy, she would have beat down earl. No, he runs over to help judy.
Speaker 1:Earl gets in the car, makes a clean getaway. Gary and judy go over to her apartment. Earl gets in the car, makes a clean getaway. Gary and Judy go over to her apartment. And it's about this point that Gary thinks oh, I should probably call Val, just gonna check in. He calls her, but then he lies he's. He doesn't mention that they found Earl at this point he just tells her you know something happened. They're gonna continue looking for him. She goes over where are you? And he tells her that he's downtown or something. Meanwhile he's in judy's apartment. She's holding ice to her face and you can feel a little something coming up right away. He's like okay, I should be home in a minute.
Speaker 1:So eventually we arrive at the point in the evening, back on the other side of town, back on the cul-de-sac, where it is time to give laura flowers. This hardworking woman who was eager to just bless her family has made it. So let's give her a little. Let's give her her flowers, let's give her a little round of applause. Darlene starts pouring champagne. She's like girl, get up here, stand up here so we can celebrate you. She's pouring it out for everybody and Laura is. I love Laura, laura. She's looking so sweet, just happy, just proud. She's not braggadocious, not that. Even if she wanted to stunt a little bit. This is her party. This is the time to do it.
Speaker 1:Well, before the the flowers can be presented, richard goes in and he's just saying the dirtiest, just horrible things, things. Oh, here's Laura Avery, she's going to be breaking necks. People are going to be licking her boots. She used to be a glorified stamp licker. Now look at her. Now she thinks she runs the world. It is embarrassing, it is horrible, I swear.
Speaker 1:Every time they're together, the more I think about this, the more episodes I've seen. He's 95% of the time he is embarrassing her. This time he's, he's just taking it too far and nobody does anything. Nobody really does anything except Abby. Abby holds up the glass, interrupts him and she's like you know what? To your continued success, laura. Now, coming from the side, chick'll take it, but it's still a little bit like I guess one thing doesn't have to do with the other. At this point you can have him.
Speaker 1:I want Laura to drop this loser and move on with her life. I really do. This is just turning into a fiasco for no reason. Jealousy is so ugly and this is a lot like that bridal party or that bachelorette party I went to, except no one stepped up. The men in this show irritate me by not putting their boy in check. So this is F boy 101.
Speaker 1:How to ruin a good time yeah, someone's getting attention. Your wife, who's never done anything to disrespect you. Yeah, let's go ahead and let's embarrass her every chance you get because you're depressed. Let me ask you the question, sofine is it the devil you know or the devil you don't? Would you rather be hurt by someone you know or someone you don't know? I think in most cases you would. Obviously it's easier to take it from someone you don't know, but when it's someone you're supposed to love and respect. It hurts even more, I suppose, over time, the more you experience this sort of embarrassment and just disrespect, you're used to it.
Speaker 1:Even as a party dissipates, they go back inside and Richard goes in, valene comes in, laura shows up and Abby's in there. But you can tell that Richard, he's grabbing Abby's face, he's saying all these sweet things to her. It's very obvious that they've been caught and Abby has decency to look embarrassed and she's like oh, let me help, I'll start clearing tables. Valene tells her to go pick up something. Richard's drunk ass is like oh, I don't do dishes. And he leaves.
Speaker 1:Although you expect this from Richard, this is a lower level. Like it's embarrassing to have your husband cheating on you in front of everybody. Kenny, on the other hand, we expect, we expect this from him. You are a playboy. I think they all knew that he was cheating and doing all sorts of things, but it's like it was never in anybody's face.
Speaker 1:Not that I'm saying that's better, but there is a certain level of just. There's got to be a line you don't cross. Richard doesn't have that line tonight. Kenny is paying for crossing that line now. He definitely crossed the line by bringing Kristen back home the other night. I totally forgot about that when he brought Kristen to Ginger's house and they did what they did in the living room.
Speaker 1:And so now Ginger's in her living room and Carl's there, and this is the first time I realized they haven't hooked up, not that I suspected they had, but they. It very, very clear because they need to make this point for one reason or another that they've never hooked up and she's in her living room and it's just like there's too many ghosts. He understands this because he too was divorced. I thought he was love bombing her, but I think he really is trying to help her through some of the harder parts of divorce, some of that, the nostalgia, the bumping into him to creating a schedule that honors your time and your space as much as his. He's just trying to walk her through that so he can tell she's uncomfortable. He does not push her any further. He's like you know why don't we? I got a friend who has a cabin in the mountains. It's only three hours away, so if we leave early in the morning we can spend most of the week in there. She's like you know what that sounds like. A good time, carl. What time are we leaving?
Speaker 1:Meanwhile, laura is at home trying to save face. Her night is once again ruined. Valene is sitting there looking like damn I don't know what to say, and Gary's nowhere in sight. Because Gary is still back at Judy's house. And at this point I'm starting to realize that maybe Earl and his drunken stupor is very, very astute in his assessment of this relationship. He didn't say anything when he's sober, because maybe it's not as prominent, but he's not wrong.
Speaker 1:Judy is lonely. Judy can't stand him and you know Gary is summertime fine. He's been topless at least once this episode. Nope, not yet. Actually he'll be topless once this episode. Yeah, the tension is there.
Speaker 1:Unfortunately, you got a Kenny who is a regular degular playboy. You expect a hottie like Kenny to have women all over the world. He's a he's. He's not hiding it not really but he's not pushing it in anyone's face. Richard has had two affairs and is currently having an affair. He is blatant about it, he is shameless about it. He is shoving it down everyone's throat. No one says anything. I did not expect Gary the dud to have the audacity or even the reasoning to step out on my girl Valene. Judy and Gary do not, indeed, go out looking for Earl, and I don't disagree with this because Earl's in a car. It sucks that he's drunk. We hope that he doesn't end up in a terrible situation, but there's really no point in driving around looking for him. Plus, she just got punched in the face. They're just going to chill, hoping that he parks, parks, sobers up and comes home at some point. Only, they really don't want that.
Speaker 1:Ginger, ginger, ginger. So ginger's gonna go on this trip. Meanwhile kenny is back at sylvie's and he can't even sleep. He's so stressed. You can see the tension all in his shoulders and sylvie is trying to make it better.
Speaker 1:Sylvie is so confusing to me because she knows where his heart is. I think she wants to win him back, but he's not into it. He's not into her. He makes it abundantly clear over and over. He gets up. He's like I can't even pretend if I lay down. All I'm gonna do is toss and turn. So he gets up. He goes all the way back to ginger's house because in his mind he's thinking Carl is there. He slips into the house under the cloak of darkness and he's just standing in Ginger's bedroom doorway. Now she's asleep and she gets, you know, a chill up her spine. What the hell, turn around.
Speaker 1:Kenny, kenny, what the hell are you doing? Kenny's standing there like he's about to chop her up into 75 million pieces. What the hell are you doing here? He's lost his mind. She's like bro, why are you in my house? You're my wife, that's the only thing that matters. You can't do this to me. He's flipping out. She's like sir, you need to chill and get out of my house and this is none of your business.
Speaker 1:He wants to know she's sleeping with Carl. He has the audacity after taking down Kristen and Sylvie, are you sleeping with Carl? She reminds him once again. That is very much none of your business. Now his mind. I don't know what. I can't really figure out what the connection is in his brain.
Speaker 1:For whatever reason, he wants Sylvie to be a non-factor, even though he's living with her, even though he's actively sleeping with her. He has a whole relationship with Sylvie. He doesn't want it brought up. He's like why? Oh, okay, and is this about Kristen? I had kind of forgotten about Kristen. She's like dude.
Speaker 1:No, the point is that you do all these things and you expect me to take it, and I hate it. I haven't even done anything and you see how crappy you feel. You see how you can't sleep. You see how you can't sleep. You see how you can't eat. You see how frustrated you are. That's how I feel every day in this marriage. You have no right to be in my life anymore. Leave the key, don't ever come back to my house again.
Speaker 1:And she can say that because it is 1980 and a teacher salary goes a long way. Baby, she can afford this house. She can afford to feed herself. She can afford to feed herself. She can afford a car. She can afford everything. She does not need you homeboy. He can't believe it. He's heartbroken. She does slap the taste out of his mouth too, which he fully deserved, but he was not the most deserving person of a slap. This episode I would have reserved it for Gary and Richard if that was possible, but unfortunately Kenny and his chiseled chin were on the receiving end of Ginger's palm and I can't say he didn't deserve every piece of that palm. But she tells him to get out of her house.
Speaker 1:Spoiler alert by the end of the episode, her doctor from the beginning of the episode. He calls and he lets her know that she is prego and she's like crap. Crap, but also elation, but also crap, because it's Kenny's baby. She hasn't even slept with Carl, so it's Kenny's baby. Carl comes over to pick her up for the ski trip. She tells him that she's pregnant.
Speaker 1:He wants to know how long she knew because he's not trying to be, you know, nobody's baby. Daddy, like, were you trying to set this up? She's like I just found out literally five minutes ago. I had no idea, so I don't feel right going on a trip. Don't worry about it, I'm a friend if you need a friend, so we'll see how that.
Speaker 1:That's an interesting situation. I know a couple of couples where that has happened, where they've separated. The woman is pregnant, ends up meeting someone else and they just kind of move on Happily married. One of the couples is like happily married, but you know, things happen. Sadly, though, kenny is breaking and entering into Jinder's home, valene is peeking out of the curtains waiting for Gary to come home. Gary ain't coming home. He did call her and tell her that he was at at a payphone downtown, that they were out looking for Earl, but in all reality they weren't. He hung up the phone and then he hooked up with Judy.
Speaker 1:I am oh god, here's my thing coming into this blind, not knowing a lot about the show, not knowing anything about a lot, not saying anything. Honest to god, I didn't even know. Garrett with Gary was the star. Quote unquote I didn't have very strong feelings towards Gary at first, thought he was a dud, thought he was the most boring. I still think he's the most immature, this kind of fitful, bratty middle child who, just you know, didn't really want to take on responsibility. And now that he has it, I dislike him even more. I don't know if this is an official saying or not, but I like to keep this close to my heart it's if you really want to know who someone is, you give them exactly what they want and how they behave after. That is the real them.
Speaker 1:Gary has a success. He has Valene's utter devotion. He has her patience, he has her full support. What does he do? Valene couldn't even sleep the night before. She's laying on the couch. He comes slinking into the house. He comes to the house at 6 am, six in the morning, sunshine and everything, and she, not he. She is like baby. I'm so sorry. I know I put a lot of pressure on you. I'm sorry that I was ugly for you. I just I was waiting on you. Did y'all find him? Did you find Earl? He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we found him, we found him. Oh good, oh God, how's Judy? Is she okay? Oh, dagger to the heart, right? Yeah, judy, fine, she's got a night full of Gary and his thighs. That's why then he has a nerve to kiss Valene on the mouth, with Judy all over his mouth.
Speaker 1:I'm so pissed off. I, if I swear to God, if I could backhand somebody, I would backhand Gary right in the mouth. I can't believe it. You got my girl out here, stressed out. She's worrying about you. She's been up all night and he's lying to her face. She's just so loving, just oh, I missed you, gary, I'm so glad everything's okay. I'm so proud of you being a good old sponsor. Gary, pardon my French. Oh, my god, I'm so upset, so upset. I knew he was a dud. I knew he was gonna be a problem. I absolutely can't stand, gary, from this moment on.
Speaker 1:How is it possible that three out of the four men on the cul-de-sac are scum bags and the only one whose name is drug through the mud was Sid, the stand-up kid? All he did is give a girl a ride and refused to give her $100. And his whole life was turned to topsy-turvy. I can't believe, gary, can y'all? Just, it's just the utter audacity for me. You had no reason to do her dirty. You had no reason. Audacity for me. You had no reason to do her dirty. You had no reason you could leave.
Speaker 1:Judy needs to handle her own problems, just like Valene did. Valene chased your drunk ass for three weeks. She managed to put you in AA. She did all the things, and the way you repay her is by betraying her trust. I hope I. Yeah, breach of faith is what this episode is called Breach of faithfulness, breach of a future. And then here's the kick kicker. Here's the worst part about it.
Speaker 1:So a little later on that day because gary is all about his money, he got his money on his mind after he even had a full night's rest he convinces valine he's been up all the night long. They have a little fun in the morning, which I okay. Now he needs to go to work. And he tells valine um, yeah, I know I've only had three hours of sleep, but you know car sales, it's Saturday, I got to be out, I got to do it. He goes to work.
Speaker 1:Judy comes up and Judy was going to apologize, allegedly, but she decided not to and Gary's like well, I was going to call you Basically, let's, let's continue this, let's keep this going. I, oh son of a, I can't believe it. Pardon my french, I'm so upset for no reason, so you. So let's line up the scumbags. You got richard, who absolutely is not him, but for whatever reason, he is picking up strays. He knows how to smell a desperate woman. He is blatantly shoving it in his wife's face. Then you got kenny, the covert playboy who finally got caught twice. And then you got gary, the one you didn't see coming to me.
Speaker 1:The most painful is the gary, because valine had no idea. She is waiting on you for 17 freaking years. She's chased down by your miserable, horrible family family. She lost a decade 1.8 decades with her child because you weren't man enough to stand up to your family. Yet she followed you to California, tells the world how in love she is with you. She is bettering herself. She is making your life worth living. She's making it wonderful. She chased you down when you were drunk. She didn't even hold you back. She does nothing but believe in you and the first thing you do, the first chance you get is busted open for judy bloom.
Speaker 1:I can't believe it, god. I can't wait till earl reads him. For filth, I can't believe her. Oh so angry god, I want to cuss him out. I wish I could write a vicious letter.
Speaker 1:I know it's season two, I know the show is well over 40 years old, but I'd love to write Gary Ewing a scathing letter. I don't want to see your thighs anymore, gary, start wearing loose sleeve pants. I'm sick of it. Also, by the end of the show, richard wakes up. He's just as sober as he can be and he comes in. Man, I feel like I you know what a night, boy, oh boy, I had a time. And, for whatever reason, this pisses laura off. She's like why is it always the drunks? This show of the next day action, like they don't know what happened. You don't remember making complete and total teetotal fool of yourself last night. You don't remember nothing Like, remember this, I'm her. Now, in not so many words, you act a fool again. I'm out of here. I'm getting real tired of your ish, real sick of it. Boy, oh boy. All right, ladies and gentlemen, I need to cool off. That's it. That's all for this treacherous, betraying episode of Knoth Landing.
Speaker 1:Send all your fan mail to the I Hate Gary Ewing Club. I am so disappointed. I am so disappointed. I thought he was a midway. I guess he is midway between JR and Bobby. At least JR is smooth with it, like I kind of like thought he was a midway. I guess he is midway between jr and bobby. At least jr is smooth with it, like I kind of like that he's a whore. I love it and I like that.
Speaker 1:Bobby has options, but you know what? He turns him away. Yes, he's busy with work, yes, he's focused, but, gary, oh, I'm over it. I'm so pissed y'all don't even know what to say. Reach out to me in fan mail and if you're watching this in real time, did you see this? I'm over it. I'm so pissed Y'all don't even know what to say. Reach out to me in fan mail and if you're watching this in real time, did you see this coming? Because I totally didn't know and I totally forgot to read fan mail today. We'll get to that another day. In the meantime, in between time, if you have a drunk friend or an overzealous wedding guest, you need a little help. Call 555-2425. First f-boy that answers the phone will be able to help you out. You're going to get richer and more hairy. Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business, don't sleep with your sponsor and keep all of your drama on tv. Thank you, bye, bye, bye.