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S2 EP9 Knots Landing - Family Affair: The "Am I My Brother's (Knee Cap ) Keeper”Episode

• Jett Shae • Episode 229

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Remember that time you were out for a simple burger run, and it turned into a comedy of errors? This episode opens with a personal anecdote from such an outing, setting the tone for a journey filled with humor, nostalgia, and the timeless drama of Knotts Landing. We transport you back to the early 80s, recounting the gripping Season 2, Episode 9 titled "Family Affair." Expect engaging comparisons to other classic soap operas like Falcon Crest and a light-hearted mix of personal stories and reflections on the complex family dynamics that defined that era of television.

The drama reaches a fever pitch as Sylvie, famously known as the Share Bear, unleashes her fury on Ken over his hidden divorce decree. Meanwhile, Ginger's complicated pregnancy news adds to Karen's worries, and JR's masterful manipulation plays out during a chaotic dinner party. As Gary grapples with a moral dilemma and the pressure from mafia types, the tension is palpable. The intricate relationships and power struggles among the characters promise to keep you riveted, with each twist and turn seamlessly blending into the next.

Finally, we speculate on the brewing conflict between Richard and Gary, pondering whether Gary will rise to the challenge. And let's not forget the fabulous 80s fashion moments that add an extra layer of charm to the episode. Before we wrap up, we’ll remind you to stay hydrated, keep your skin moisturized, and be wary of relatives bearing large sums of money. Tune in for a delightful mix of drama, humor, and nostalgia that will leave you eagerly anticipating the next installment.

Speaker 1:

She needs a good backhand. This is the early 80s, so she could totally do that without any consequences. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome, or welcome back to Soap Lord, the official gathering place for newbies, novices and OG diehard fans of the golden age of primetime. I'm your host, jet, viewing and reviewing one of the more scandalous storylines of 1980. We're back on the West Coast, knotts Landing, season 2, episode 9. So, whether you're new to this or true to this, back and enjoy. Tell the kids it's time to play outside, or, out of sight, tell babe, no questions, suggestions or concerns for the next 25 to 35 minutes. Everyone else in earshot, cool, quiet or very, very kicked out are your only options, because we have got something to talk about. We are watching our stories. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is Soap Lure. Welcome back, party people, to another fun filled edition of Soap Lure. I hope your day is shaping up well. Not gonna lie, I'm having a good day, but I was a little bit bored at work. I may or may not have watched a movie or two, it's no big deal. I like to have a little background noise when I'm working, even if I'm working at home or working around the house. I have the option to kind of do both, but it was a little bit slow, and that's not a bad thing, doesn't matter now, because we are here. We are here to discuss our stories.

Speaker 1:

We are already on episode nine, season two of Knot's Landing, and this one is called Family Affair. Although they're really really good at naming their episodes, I will admit I kind of had something else in mind when I initially started it. No disappointment here. This is a good, good, good one. I would absolutely say that about every episode of Knots Landing Again, it is very much giving me my Falcon Crest vibes. Actually, all of the shows at this point, every single single episode, whether there's a lot going on or very, very little, every show, every episode has been really really good. It's difficult for me to tell, though, what if this is peak entertainment or not. I don't suppose I would be able to tell based on the stories I've watched just now. I guess I'd have to let the season pan out, but so far, so good.

Speaker 1:

Don't you just love family? There's always a little something going on there, whether you are head over heels for yours or it is a difficult relationship. Seems like you have a few moments here and there where there's going to be some bonding. My family and I we like to go burger hunting every now and again. It's not really burger hunting at this point, but during COVID it was just kind of a fun way to get out of the house, try new things while the world was whirling. And we kind of discovered an old favorite.

Speaker 1:

This is a local restaurant that is very similar to Sonic Drive-In. If you're in the US, sonic Drive-In is basically a burger joint. It's like an old-fashioned car hub. They still have people come out to the car. Sometimes they roller skate, most of the time they walk. Sorry, I'm sad about that. One time this girl comes walking out and she has two Route 44. I know guys, if you're in other parts of the world they're like why do you guys drink 44 ounces of anything? In the desert you drink 44 ounces of anything because it's hot. I'm just going to tell you that. But this lady was walking towards the car. She had four Route 44 drinks on her tray and literally every third step she would just drop one. I did not laugh at her, but they literally all exploded before they got to the car. We were teenagers at the time and I'm just like, let's just keep a straight face. I don't want her to feel bad, but she was not having a great day. Anyway, we're not talking about that.

Speaker 1:

My family and I go to a very similar establishment. We go there pretty often maybe once a month or so and it's always a great experience. Food is great, it's really quick and it's just kind of fun to eat in your car and hang out and talk and have a good time. Well, we pull up and you have to push the little intercom to order and the microphone is on. Body builder, like they're literally yelling. I felt like those old what's the speakers. Remember the commercial where the guy's like sitting in the leather seat and then the speakers come on the bows I think it is and it blows his face back. It felt like that.

Speaker 1:

She's like welcome, can I take your order? And so my husband is giving me orders sorry, he's telling her you know, bacon burger, no cheese. And she's like okay, extra cheese, no, no, no, like he's talking normally, he's getting progressively louder because it's clear that the speaker system isn't working and he's a proud man. So I'm like babe, let me just get out, I'll go in and I'll work, or go to the door and order, it's like no, no, no, we got it. Well, this takes about five minutes, and five minutes isn't a long time. But if someone is screaming through a microphone it's very frustrating, and so he's. By the end of it he's kind of like rocking back and forth with his fingers on his temple and I'm kind of cackling quietly. So, of course, we get the food and most of it is wrong, and I'm like, okay, listen, just when they come back, I'm just going to talk to him. We got it all worked out. It was just so funny because the communication was there. Both people were yelling, not out of spite, not out of anger, but they just really wanted to be hurt. It was important to the order taker that the order was correct. It was important to my husband that the order was correct. None of that was working through that particular conduit, and this episode has a very similar situation. There's an overt situation like this, and then the undertone of the entire episode is like that. Gary is screaming at the bottom of his lungs, silently screaming, as is Valene. We don't want JR, that's right, y'all. We're back to the obligatory crossover episode. Jr is in LA, and I tell you what they'd be smart not to have him on the show too many times. He is a scene stealer. He plays off of everyone so well. I was fully and completely enthralled and entertained this entire time. So let's go ahead and jump into it.

Speaker 1:

Season two, episode nine Knotts Landing Family Affair. So the show opens with Val, abby and Karen in the front seat, valene's in the middle, abby's by the passenger door, karen's, of course, driving the getaway car, aka the station wagon. They're en route to go drop Abby off at a hotel. Karen really wants to know why she's there. Allegedly, val wants to know, but Valene says very little on this episode. She's not saying a lot but her body is screaming. So on this episode she's not saying a lot but her body is screaming. So on this morning they happen to be talking about JR. Yeah, there's this oil show. Maybe there's an article about him being there in town.

Speaker 1:

I can't really remember that detail, but the consensus, at least from like Karen and Abby, is that you know he's. He's low-key, hot. He's that kind of like magnetic bad news. You really don't mind being in the present time. Karen reminds the audience and by that I mean she fills in Abby on the season one JR cameo and how she okie-doked him in this hotel room with her soft, supple skin and an updo. And she's like girl, let me tell you what. We were in the, the hotel. He was all hot and fun. I had to get out of there real quick, girl. And Abby's like oh, scandalous In so many words. I'm paraphrasing. Karen is saying all this with a smile. It's kind of that smile like man I'm being flirted with with this total womanizer. But it feels good. It feels good to know that I have his attention.

Speaker 1:

So it occurs to Abby at this point. She's like no, valene, I never hear you and Gerber talk about Texas. Val says nothing, she doesn't mumble a single word. But her body, her face, her posture is screaming back off. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to say nothing about it. Karen's not really picking up on that signal. She's kind of casually says yeah, and they're not going to talk about it. They don't like talking about it. It's their least favorite topic. Very casual, very kind of not passive, but she's not thinking a lot about it. Abby's like I'm just kind of curious about him. I'd really like to hear about him. I'd like to know and apparently Abby can also be very secretive.

Speaker 1:

This is the point where Karen's like Abby, speaking of secrets, where are you going? Who are you meeting at this hotel, motel, holiday inn? And Abby goes. Well, if you must know, I'm having a rendezvous with JR Now. Before she said JR, I literally thought she was going to have a rendezvous with Richard. Seems to be the middle of the day. Maybe things from last episode are getting a little too hot. Remember he got drunk. He was sort of handsy all over her. It was a whole problem, or maybe that was two episodes ago. Either way, valene's like that's not even funny, that's nowhere close to being funny. And Karen's like girl, she's lying, she's not going to tell us.

Speaker 1:

The next scene is a very brief but poignant scene, at least to me, because it is everyone's favorite care bear the share. Bear, aka singing sylvie. She didn't sing into the room this time because she's pissed. Ginger's not there, so she doesn't have to sing and remind her that she's on the charts at number 34. You better act like you know who she is. But she's there to confess.

Speaker 1:

She slinks into the bedroom to confront kendall and she's like hey, what is this? She throws something on the bed. Now, I thought it was a pamphlet, but she quickly announces that it's his divorce decree. I'm thinking to myself did they used to get served pamphlets? But it's clear that he folded it kind of like a letter if you're going to stuff it into an envelope. She found his divorce pamphlet. He wants to know where she found it. She wants to know why he hasn't mentioned that his wife doesn't want him anymore.

Speaker 1:

Seeing Sylvie is, of course, the first to break, because she's the one who's most invested in this relationship. So she quickly confesses that while she was rummaging in his pockets for loose change, she happened upon his divorce papers before she robbed him because, well, he confesses that he didn't tell her because he's holding out hope for old Jenji Jenj Syl. Well, he confesses that he didn't tell her because he's holding out hope for old Jenji Jenj. Sylvie wants to know why. Why I'm number 34 on the charts, why can't we just level up our relationship? And he's like damn it, sylvie, what don't you get? I want a string less relationship, no strings attached Relationships are full of responsibility, and he wants none of that.

Speaker 1:

Responsibility is for men who are far, far, far less attractive. He is kenny, is only into the wham bam. Thank you, ma'am go home to his wife. Lather rinse repeat insert different women. You know, lather rinse repeat unless, of course, said wife kicks him out, then he'll need to use your home and your amenities until further notice by episodes in gender has told Karen that she's pregnant and within this confession she finally says that she's like if a year ago this would have been the best news ever, today it's not the greatest news if we can't work together just the two of us. There's no way there's going to be three people in this. She's she's disappointed, not necessarily that she's pregnant, but that it's Kenny's baby. And that means, or it could mean, she still hasn't said anything, and I'm going to spoil it here by the end of the episode she still hasn't said anything. That means she's kind of going to be forced into a situation to either co-parent with him forever, but still in her life, or she's going to have to figure out how to work it out. Either way, it's not what she was planning. She finally made a decision and dang it. Now I got to rethink it.

Speaker 1:

This episode is truly, truly about Gary, because this is a spinoff episode, this is a cameo episode, so we got to bring that good old Ewing Texas-sized drama to Knott's Landing. So, surprise, surprise, abby is actually meeting with JR at the hotel. She quickly asked him for $50,000. Now of course he finds her attractive. So he's all ears and says you know what, darling, I'd feel a lot more comfortable if Gary would come and talk to me. We hadn't hardly spoken since he moved out here. Send Gary over, he comes to talk to me, I will give him $50,000. And I I'm thinking, is he telling the truth or he's not? Because Abby has a point and I think she did the right thing. $50,000 to JR and the rest of the family is literally nothing. They got it. Make that money 100 times over in a week. It's no big deal. Abby is like okay, cool, cool, cool, I'll go talk to him. She goes to the, to the dealership, and Gary, in no uncertain terms, is not interested.

Speaker 1:

This is the first time in this series that I can remember outside of him being a total drunk for two episodes outside of another Ewing. As in Lucy, this is the first time I've seen this kind of energy from Gary at someone else. He's always very quiet, he's always sort of stoic in the background. He doesn't really say it If he's not talking about the business, or making you know, very small, very casual talk, friendship talk. He didn't really say a lot, he's kind of playing in the background, but at this one he actually gets pissed. He's like Abby, no, he's giving the exact same energy that Valene is giving in the car, except he's using his words. So, in no uncertain terms, he says no, absolutely not. He'd rather hobble around with two broken knees than kiss the ring.

Speaker 1:

So Abs goes back to JR and they decide to respect Gary. Yeah right, they decide okay, cool, he won't come to me, let's just ambush him, I'll come on down to the dealership. She's like decide okay, cool, he won't come to me, let's just ambush him, I'll come on down to the dealership. She's like yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what you should do. Here's a little caveat, though. She says yeah, you got to get down there because if not, according to Abby, valene and Gary are liable to move back to Texas. That's all Valene talks about, that's what she wants. I'm thinking to myself she hadn't said anything, she not, that I've seen. She hadn't said anything about moving back to Texas. Obviously she loves Lucy, but this is how you know.

Speaker 1:

This is that kind of weird space where being a private person, but also being sort of outgoing can be deceiving, because people assume that you're always telling them everything about them and that's just not the case, because Valene and Gary have never fully talked about Texas like that you. You can get the idea that maybe the family had a small little falling out, but they don't. Like the. The Knoth landing gang doesn't really understand how bad this was, how deep this wound is and how irreconcilable the relationship seems to be. I think the very best that could ever happen would be we're going to tolerate each other, we to tolerate each other. We'll tolerate each other at baby showers, birthdays and anniversary parties. Other than that, I don't need to see you. You don't need to see me. Leave me alone. And I get that because JR is so charming. He is that's the only word I can. He's so charming, he's so smooth. I told you guys last episode that he doesn't seem to be bothered whether someone hates him or loves him. So if you're reading the situation based on the way JR is behaving and the fact that Valene and Gary have never like explicitly gone into detail, you probably think, oh, it's just no big deal. Gary's being a little bit proud and Valene doesn't want to. You know she doesn't want Gary to be thrown off of his game and feel like the little brother. I'm assuming that's kind of the vibe they're getting.

Speaker 1:

So JR and Abby show up at the dealership where Gary is patiently dying an excruciating death by waiting on this old man to adjust his hearing aid. God, I mean, I got a kick out of that. It was very reminiscent of our whole burger joint episode. The old man's like huh huh. Gary's like it's a car, it's for sale. The old man's like huh huh carries, I get the car, it's, it's for sale. The old man can't hear nothing. He's upset that his plastic hearing aid doesn't work. Worth a dime. It sits happy to cjr and he's telling him about this engine that we mentioned a little bit last episode. You know, before michael went splatter that all over the. Oh my gosh, that was funny. I don't care how serious it was supposed to be, that was hilarious.

Speaker 1:

You can tell pretty clearly that this is not working. Gary doesn't seem furious but he's definitely like a little bit pissed. A JR is there. You know JR can. Hey, little brother, how's it going? You didn't think I was going to stop in town without seeing you, did you?

Speaker 1:

Things aren't going well for Abby. She's without seeing you, did you? Things aren't going well for Abby. She's like, okay, crap, hey, I have this idea. Why don't y'all come on over for dinner and I'll cook and we can talk? Gary says no, oh, come on Gary. No, no, valene and I have plans. Abby, oh, I'll call Karen and she'll talk to Valene. Really, no, no, no. Gary is not. He's yelling at the bottom of his lungs like so frustrating. And also, how is Abby just gonna call Karen, like Karen is Valene's mother? He said no, they had things to do. They can't make it. No, no, no. Needless to say, the on JR at dinner is an absolute gift. I guess Karen's kids are hiding or very busy because they weren't at dinner. So Abby's little bad kids were there. Her kids have zero chill. They outed her when someone said oh, this is a great meal, abby, you did wonderful. She hired a caterer.

Speaker 1:

Jr stands up to make a toast and they keep, keep interrupting. They're going off. When the kids brought a lizard to the dang dinner table, it's a whole fiasco. Finally, jr says you know, we do kids like that in texas what we barbecue them. So anyway, the dinner conversation continues. Jr is charming his way into everyone's heart except valine and gary, of course.

Speaker 1:

Jr starts talking to sid about this engine. Now, the premise of this engine is that sid has indeed been working on this for many, many years. He's trying to create an engine that can get up to a hundred miles on one gallon of gas. Wow well, jr kind of teasingly says he said this earlier like oh my gosh, you're gonna put me out of business. No, no, no, there's so many kinks to work out. Right now it's only at about 58 miles a gallon. Ladies and gentlemen of the culture, in 2024, can you imagine 58 miles to one gallon lord? It's amazing. Anyway, jr keeps casually talking about it like hey well, have you already put your patents out? No, no, no, not quite, because this, that and the third he asked it again casually, he'd asked this before at the dealership. Put a pin in that.

Speaker 1:

Finally, karen's like Sid, I don't think JR wants to hear about this. She's clearly not reading the rumor. Maybe she's tired of hearing about that engine. They did get into a little tipped about it last episode. She probably don't want to hear all that at the dinner table. So this is JR's cue to start going around the table and either complimenting or nitpicking. And he's sitting there thinking man, I'm halfway through this delicious meal and I hadn't ruffled Valene's feather. So he says Valene, better eat your food while it's hot in front of you. You never know when that's going to happen again.

Speaker 1:

Jr is beyond messy. Now why would she be worried about being? You know what he's insinuating? He's insinuating she's poor, she's from that holler that his good old boys chased her down in down that swamp. She's clearly used to living like a papa. She's holding her own. You can tell she wants to c to living like a papa. She's holding her own. All right, you can tell she wants to cuss them out, but she, she keeps it cute.

Speaker 1:

So he saws off another piece of meat, shoves it in his mouth and he's like well, sid, you know, that deal Gary's working on is gonna make you a pretty penny. And Sid, it's what deal? And Gary's face is like oh crap, crap, crap. I forgot about that detail. God, not everybody knows. And Jared's like well, the deal he's working on he hadn't, I know he hadn't really caught on just yet. But at this point he starts looking at Gary and he can see Abby's also shaking her head too. And Sid's like what? No, no deal, because you know what, god I can't believe. I mixed him up with my little brother, bobby Bobby's, working on this whole deal down in Texas. I just, I believe I mixed him up with my little brother, bobby Bobby's, working on this whole deal down in Texas. I just, I just plum, mixed him up. And Karen makes a joke about that being a sign of old age.

Speaker 1:

But it's very clear that JR caught on pretty quickly, which is really awesome. That's, that is the gift in being a shady person. You have to be able to pivot at a moment's notice. You need to have a way to cover your tracks and he is a king of covering his tracks. Also, as I'm saying this all out loud right now, I'm starting to realize that JR going to an oil show is not matching up with what's going on on season four right now. Although he's on the mend, he has been making sort of secret deals, remember, he's been going to the office and his little lover secretary is filling him in on different things. So I would imagine the pacing in this kind of feels like it might be within a few episodes of where we are now on Dallas Interesting. I did not think about that until just now.

Speaker 1:

So after dinner there is, of course, cake and coffee. Jr sitting on the couch next to Abby, while Sid and Karen are on the other side at uh, valene and Gary are at a table behind the couch with their backs turned to them. It is so awkward and I'm thinking to myself at this point the friends should be clocking up how absolutely uncomfortable they are. This is more than just. My brother annoys me. This is like we don't even want to be near him, but everybody's so busy being charmed.

Speaker 1:

So JR goes on to talk about Lucy's terrible taste in men over cake and coffee, talking about how she's dating this research nerd and how, if and when they get married, he's going to straighten that boy out. He's going to straighten Dr Boy right out because Lucy is a Ewing. So he's what he's really doing. He's kind of throwing jabs at Gary and Valene, saying that the Dr Boy is a fool because he's going into research instead of milking his job like he should as a real doctor. Lucy is a Ewing, she is accustomed to a certain lifestyle and he certainly can't afford to keep up with that. You know, he that's really directed at Gary, but it's the fact that he said he's going to interject. So Valene, at this point, turned and she's like what did you say? I'm not even lying, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I was like, oh okay, come on, val. Jr casually repeats himself I'm gonna straighten that boy out, I'm gonna interject myself. Basically, that's all she needs to hear. She jumps up and she goes smooth the f off and it's.

Speaker 1:

It's quickly discovered within this speech what we already know as people who've been watching that she goes off about. You're the reason I'm not with my whole family right now. You're the reason we're not together. You're the reason our marriage and work it is all your fault. I'm not gonna say she's flipping out, but she is going off. She's standing up, she's saying exactly what she needs to say to JR. And then you see everyone else's face and they're like, oh okay, she for real, for real, can't stand him. This, this wasn't a fluke, this is, oh, you ruined my family, you kept me from my daughter type of hatred. Maybe now they're all sort of rethinking like dang, maybe this shouldn't have been a dinner Dang, I didn't know. I didn't know it was this bad.

Speaker 1:

Abby looks extremely uncomfortable but sad note she also looks fabulous. She and Valene are pretty in pink. This episode, in this particular scene, valene is wearing this prairie dress, like a short sleeve version of it, and it's this ombre pink which I hadn't really seen before, like before, like the 90s, really 90s or early 2000s Ombre pink. She's cussing him out. Come on, gary. They're going to leave the house and Abby is sitting there in this v-neck pink top, white pants. Pink is like this really vibrant, fun color and it's worth noting that to me Abby has the most 80s haircut on the show.

Speaker 1:

As of right now, this is still very, very early 80s. You can tell the other women are still kind of lingering in the 70s a little bit. But Abby has either a perm or she's got natural waves and it's cut into this really bouncy, very voluminous bob with bangs. Very cute, fits her face, it's very kind of fun and flirty. But she's wearing this accessory Best I can guess. Guess it's like a barrette. So she's got her hair kind of pushed up and secured with this barrette but it's tucked behind her ear. At first I thought it was like an ear cuff and it looks like it's these ribbons with either stars dangling from them or flowers. It's kind of hard to tell. I think it might be flowers. It was so cute. I'm looking at that like wow, she looks like one of those. You remember that. Well, I never saw the cartoon, let me not say remember, but I googled 80s cartoons. I've seen some version of this, like a Barbie version, where it's the the gems. I believe they're kind of rock stars. It's not that heavy metal look, but it's just kind of a cool accessory. I loved it. My early 2k girlies do y'all remember when we were putting like the feathers in the little, one little clip of a bright color hair, like a blue piece or like a neon green piece? Remember when Claire's would supply hair accessories? If you're an early 2k girl or a 90s kid, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It kind of reminded me of that, but it is so, so cute. I loved it. Anyways.

Speaker 1:

Jr and Abby go back to her place to discuss business over a nightcap and they have this sort of skinamax music playing in the background. It's abundantly clear to JR at this point that those parts are stolen. But you know what? Abby's a pretty lady and he needs to try to seduce her while he's there. And he's like you know, I wish my brother was with you versus some married to that wimp Valene. I sure wish you were my sister-in-law instead, so I can have somebody to talk to. And we all know how much he loves a sister-in-law, don't he? He tried to get with Pam. She turned him down. He definitely got with Kristen. Why not go ahead and marry Gary, so we can get with you too?

Speaker 1:

But as he's reading the situation, you once again understand that his mental gymnastics is way stronger than anyone. He is Simone Biles when it comes to the mental gymnastics of sniffing out dirt slash, creating these spider webs for people to stumble into. And he correctly, correctly, guesses that Abby isn't also innocent and pure of heart. Turns out, he believes, which is true, that she wants a big old piece of that Gary pie. And I thought you know what, jr, you are absolutely right the episode where she starts working at the dealership. She's saying hey to Gary, but she starts giving him like this sultry look, which seems a little bit odd to me, because this isn't the first or the 44th time at this point that she'd ever met Gary. She's seen Gary tons and tons, but suddenly maybe it's after the whole Richard thing she's just a little more interested in Gary. Strong, silent type, I suppose, and that whole thing with Valene is definitely made up. Such a weird and very bold move considering how close she technically is to Valene. Valene is basically raising them badass kids, but she's going there. We all know Gary don't mind a little sidestep from time to time. In addition to knowing that Abby has it bad for Gary, jr also knows that Sid is none the wiser about this whole exchange. He knows that he doesn't know about the stolen parts. He definitely knows Gary is doing this behind his back, so this is a little bit of leverage for him.

Speaker 1:

We got to get a couple of side stories out of the way. Richard and Laura are very briefly on the episode. Richard is actually being kind of a nightmare because he wants to know why is everybody at Abby's house? What's going on over there? Laura, all you want to do is talk about work. I can't stand it. That's all you think about is work and that he's just being really fussy. Laura is casually reading the newspaper. Then finally she's like you're mad because Abby didn't invite you. They still haven't talked about it. He still didn't say anything, but it's pretty clear. I'm not sure I mentioned this last episode, but Laura does come over.

Speaker 1:

She went over to Karen's house early one morning, right before Karen got the call about Michael at the school and she's like do you think something's going on with Abby and Richard? And before Karen can really give her an answer, she's like just ask him. They're about to get into the conversation. When the principal called and told her to come get Michael, he gave him Michael. He he's doing well or well-ish. There's a random scene where he slices and dices Diana's yearbook and I can't really figure out why. He said he needed a picture of basketball players or he just diced up her whole book. She's pissed. And, to add insult to injury, the whole family is now on a health food kick because they want to clean out his diet a little bit. Sounding very ADHD Seems like this is before it was more well-known. But they're clearing out everything.

Speaker 1:

And Diana comes walking through the house with an ice cream cone. Karen's like where'd you get that? I bought it a little bit earlier. There's a carton in the freezer. Karen gets upset we can't have that in the house. Michael is going to be tempted and we need to keep him on track. And Diana's like you know what I'm about? Tired of hearing about Michael every 15 minutes. You are obsessed with this kid, I don't want to hear. So she goes to walk out and Karen's like I'm sick of you walking out on me. Diana tells her you know, it just gives you more time to talk about Michael. She needs a good backhand. This is the early 80s, so she could totally do that without any consequences. Karen could, but in the same breath, devil's advocate. I'm kind of team Diana on what she says, not the way she said it, but what she said. I don't see why the whole family needs to suffer. She didn't eat it in front of him. She's walking out the door. It's a tiny little carton. It's a little much. So.

Speaker 1:

One night, while Michael is on route to the living room to do his nightly laps around the around the coffee table, he overhears Sid and Karen arguing about sort of coddling him. Sid is of the the mind that Karen is doing way too much. Karen is is like I can't just I can't assign a 12 year old exercise and expect him to just do it Like he needs someone to do it with him. They're both right, but I think Karen is a little bit more right. You can't expect a 12 year old boy to stick to a schedule without you kind of monitoring. That that's just not how that works, but says it work all day. He doesn't spend a ton of time with him, not because he's a neglectful father, but because he's working. Karen spends more time with him. Michael overhears this and he's starting to sort of feel like a burden. But by the end of the episode Karen reassures him that all is well. She's happy to do this because she loves him and if he's got to go run five miles, guess what? She's going to go run five miles too. What you won't do for the ones you love.

Speaker 1:

Gary and Malene are still kind of coming down from the argument with JR when she tells him, like I don't know why he's here, I'm so sick of him popping up. You better not be doing business with him, gary. I mean it. Promise me, promise me right now that you're not going to do business with him. I promise and he means it, at least for now. But the mafioso types have been showing up more and more. They keep casually reminding him that the money is due on next week. He doesn't bring it out. It's going to be a whole issue Just to ensure that this deal doesn't go down.

Speaker 1:

Valene shows up at JR's hotel room to let him know he better back away from Gary. I'm begging you, dude, don't do it, just back off. Well, jr has been waiting on this because he's like you know what? This is your whole problem, valene. You think way too small. The only reason that Gary has never mounted anything is because of you. I love the blame game here. She blames JR for her terrible marriage and the fact that she can't raise her child and that she had to run away and Gary wasn't ready. He blames her for being such a wimp, therefore influencing Gary's whimpery. That's why he's not amounting anything. You think too small. That's what he tells. You Think small. He ain't got time for that. Let him be a man, let him be a Ewing.

Speaker 1:

Neither of them blame Gary, who is fully and totally and completely responsible for his actions in every single way, but at this juncture we're going to allow other people to carry the weight of his shortcomings. Valene is super pissed by the end of that. She's like you're such a vile, disgusting man. He's like you know. I don't have to hear this, get out, get out, valene. On the way out the door, she says what JR has heard a hundred times. By this point I wish I'd been the one to shoot you. And it's like yeah, yeah, yeah, you and all the Dallas. And what? After he closes the door he says to himself out loud the same thing I say to myself after wearing heels for a few hours I don't need this. I hear you like I do not have to take this abuse, there's a please, I don't need this.

Speaker 1:

So on the day before the money is due, one of the mafiosos shows up to the dealership. Now it's all quiet. So I'm assuming this is on a day where the dealership is closed because no one else is there. Most of the lights are off, but for whatever reason, they know that Gary's there. What they don't know is that Gary has hands. Gary has just about had enough with all of these constant reminders and the damage to his favorite pair of boots, nevermind the four toes they crushed with the wrench. You messed up my boots. The mobsters, unbeknownst to them, have indeed, as they say around here, found the right one on the wrong day.

Speaker 1:

So the older gentleman, the mafia guy. He walks into the dealership and he's slinking around. He's opening all the doors. He's kind of quietly looking for looks for him all over the showroom when all of a sudden he's snatched up and thrown into the shop. Now Abby is there for some reason too, so she's up on the balcony, gary, gary, making all this noise like shut up, shut up, abby, gary, no, no. So she starts slowly running down in her heels while Gary is distracted by Abby.

Speaker 1:

Briefly, the mafioso girl hadn't planned on being snatched up, so he starts trying to. But the thing is he has on a three-piece suit and hard bottom slick church shoes, so he can't really get the traction he needs on the shop floor because it's very slick. This is the exact same floor that concussed a child episode previous. He's trying his very best not to slip or get caught by gary, but it essentially is futile, because gary is younger, he's stronger and he's well versed in running on slick surfaces in his ostrich skinned boots. This is, he does this all day, every day, baby, no problem. So he's being all agile and whatever, and he's running in his boots with his heels over to the man and he proceeds to beat the brakes off of this elderly, slightly overweight mafioso type, or his stunt double. That's another thing.

Speaker 1:

Dynasty in this show. Don't give a damn about the stunt doubles. We're lucky. It's an actual dude and not like a, like a 12 year old girl, and they're like just put her in a suit and throw her out there. We'll see what happens.

Speaker 1:

Gary beats the break off of a much younger, much slimmer man, while Abby in her heels is clip clop, clip, click, clop. She's running across the showroom floor. Now the mafioso guy in the car must have heard the ruckus, so he runs out and he picks the log and he runs in just enough time to grab Abby as she tries to run by him. He grabs her from the front so it looks like a very aggressive hug. And in between this beating that Gary is delivering to the stunt double, he happens to look over and the younger, stronger mafioso guy is like hey, stop, stop it. Ever the gentleman, ever the reluctant hero. Gary decides that the beating is over and I'm kind of glad because he was beating him down to the soundtrack of Abby going scary, scary, stop.

Speaker 1:

It was totally distracting and I gotta admit I'm kind of impressed. I shouldn't be all that surprised when I really think about it, because I've thought this about Jock for a long time. Jock's very tall. He's got these big, huge oven mitt hands. Looks like if he punched someone in the face he would crack your soul, no question about it. Bobby seems to have hands, ray seems to have hands, I'm all.

Speaker 1:

I'm basing this all on that episode where they went to Louisiana and it's the first time JR got shot. They all could fight. So I mean, hey, gary's right in there, which is strange to me. I'm like Abby, why were you yelling at him? What were you expecting? Those mafia, those mafia guys, came to do the exact same thing to Gary as to what he did to that stunt double. So I don't know why she's making all this noise. She's distracting everybody. She's got this big old corn-fed, hay-tossing North Texas kid making light work of this heavy set. Well, not the slim stunt double. Maybe she's never seen a fight. Also, abby has absolutely no survival instinct. So the other guy grabbed her. Like I said, he pulled her into himself like a very aggressive hugger. I can see her hands wiggling.

Speaker 1:

Ladies, let me ask you a question. We've all had a brief talk about this. Some of us have been trained a little longer than others. What do you do if you are aggressively grabbed by someone and you can still wiggle. You can move your arms, you can move your hands. What do you do? You knee him in the balls. She had the perfect opportunity. She could have scratched his face, she could have kneed him in the balls, she could have stomped on his toe when those high heels. But she's just jerking around flapping her fabulous hair around. I tell you what girl you should have kneed him in the balls. And when he fell to the ground, I want the only thing him for him to see when he looks up is booty and elbows. That means you are running as fast as you can away from him. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1:

Well, eventually, the older man is really grateful that the beating is done. He does that thing that people do, like kids used to do in school. If maybe, maybe you picked on the wrong kid, you thought he was a wimp and you know he knew taekwondo or something he flipped you on your back and said hey, hey, hey, I don't want any trouble, it was just, I was just coming to say hi, that's all. The mafia guy is like hey, we weren't, we were just coming by to say hey, let you know that the money's going to be due real soon. This man's suit is filthy. Every drop of Exxon Mobil oil is all over his beautiful suit, he is stomped out. Gary may have won the fight, but it's abundantly clear at this point that he can only do that for so long. He can only beat down a stunt double, you know, once every other day before they eventually take his kneecap. So he relents and he decides he's gonna go over and talk to JR and go ahead and get this $50,000. Unfortunately, this means breaking his promise to Val again and he proceeds to the hotel room to pick up the check. Jr being the clever, clever little fox, he is made sure to leave the check unsigned so that gary would have to stick around for a little speechy poo if he wants to sign it.

Speaker 1:

Jr is truly the oracle from the matrix, this episode. He sees everything. He's pointing out all this wisdom and he's like gary. You keep saying why are you doing this? He's like you know I'm doing this for sid. Jr points out he's like you have never, not one time, mentioned Sid. I know what you're doing. You're enjoying this power. I see it in you. You see something you want. You're able to take it. You can pretend like the friendship is what's at stake here, but I know what it is. It's power. Now he sees this and you know what, if nothing else, this makes jr proud. He's just thinking like, finally about time let this boy be a you. And he's a you wing for real. He's trying to encourage him.

Speaker 1:

I suppose like gary, gary, go ahead and be a man. He says, okay, you know what else, gary? 50k is cool. You can buy your little tools. I'm sure you're gonna make a little bit of a profit. But you know what's better than 50k? 100, 000? Imagine all the parts you could buy. You could buy so many parts that you'd probably have a monopoly on the market. You can jack up those prices to pretty much anything you want. Mafia guys are paid off. You got their stuff. You got 50 000 more worth of stuff. Pretty Might. Set yourself up kind of nice.

Speaker 1:

Gary pulls a violin at the beginning of the episode. He doesn't say a single word. Despite that, something is screaming from the bottom of his lungs. It is radiating off of him. Jr may be a scumbag. He may be a cheating husband. He may be obnoxiously hilarious where Gary is concerned, but what he's not is a terrible businessman. He knows what he's talking about. He knows how to make a pretty penny and, despite what other people think he's been running that company. He's been running an oil empire. Very, very well.

Speaker 1:

$100,000 is not going to be written in a check. It is in a briefcase that JR flew all the way from Dallas with or maybe not, I'm sure they have a bank in California. I like the thought of him flying with it in. That's how we're going to tell the story. So JR says you pick a little bro, you want the check, I'll happily sign the back of it. You do what you need to do or you can take this here briefcase filled with shmoney and, you know, do a little something. See what you're made of.

Speaker 1:

Despite being silent the entire time, gary does bend down in reach for the check. Actually, that's not true. The check's already in his hand. He has a check and he walks out with his dignity and he's like you know what, dude, I'm not going to, I'm not going to play my wife again. I'm already sleeping with this lady. So at least I can do is be a standup. Guy. Lies, he put, he takes the money. You know what? I can't hardly blame him. But he takes the money. You know what? I can't hardly blame him. No, he definitely takes the money, leaves the check and he starts walking out of the room and of course I'm thinking this is way too easy. What's really going on? Is this just some sort of test? Does JR want to prove a point that you know what? You're just like me. Despite you hating it, You're just like me. He did have one small request, so Gary makes it as far as the hallway.

Speaker 1:

No line on this show was wasted. Just like falcon crust, they say something hold on to it, it'll probably pop up again later. Jr's like oh brother, do keep me informed concerning the rapid development of your friend's 100 mile a gallon engine, please. We'll have to meet again real, real soon to discuss that. It'd be a shame. That's a lifetime opportunity right there. So it would appear that, no matter what, whether he means to or whether he doesn't mean to, gary has to screw Sid over in some capacity.

Speaker 1:

Now I wish Karen had been in the showroom at the time where he was talking about the engine and I wish she'd kind of listened to JR, just so she would have picked up on him saying Patton. He said Patton like four or five times this episode, but she's so annoyed by this engine that has taken up so many years of this man's life that she didn't hear it. She wasn't there. You know he's filing a patent with a quickness oh my goodness, this is gonna suck. But the bigger issue here still Is that eventually Sid's going to wonder how these parts came about, because it's like he had a feeling. Sid's had a feeling the entire time that these mafia guys were no good or that this he I mean he's not calling them off, he goes, it's pretty clear, that's what they are he's going to wonder how that, how those parts showed up to his dealership.

Speaker 1:

And this this is the saddest part Gary is not doing this, he's a scumbag. I still can't stand him. Let me just be clear. Let me make that declaration at least once this episode. I can't stand him. However, I'm nothing if not fair and I definitely understand the concept of more than one thing being true at a time. I don't think he means to harm anyone.

Speaker 1:

He really does have a good business mind. He has good ideas. He is seeing the bigger picture Now because this is probably this is a new business to him. He doesn't really know how to navigate it and I think his excitement sometime it can be a little bit dangerous, because this isn't Gary's business. If he wants to. If he wants to open a dealership and do this himself, then fine, you'll just kind of carry the burden.

Speaker 1:

But when your friend trusts you to run the place efficiently, there's going to be some risks. Obviously, you have to make risks. You're going to have to talk Sid into a couple of things, but going behind his back when he explicitly said no and not only did he explicitly say no, he explained why he didn't want to be caught up in this and then, what's more, sid is rebuilding his reputation within this community. He may not be the richest, he may not be the flashiest, but at the end of the day he's always been able to go home, close his eyes and sleep well because he did the right thing that day. Gary is essentially kind of blurring that line. He's dirtying that name just a little bit with this move. Is it going to bring in more money? Yeah, will the general public ever know about it? I bet they're never going to know about this. Never, but it's still. It's like wow, you're willing to do stuff Not out of spite, which makes it bearable. I can admit that it's easier to accept someone's apology when you realize they did not mean to harm you. But I don't know, gary, it's a house of cards here getting a little concerned and I'm loving every moment. All right guys, thank you for joining me. Join me again next time.

Speaker 1:

We're going to jump into episode 10. Can you believe it? I think we're about halfway through the second season of Knots Landing and baby. It's perfect. Abby has been a great addition, although I'm kind of wanting to slap Abby a little bit this episode. You can't have every man in the cul-de-sac. You know we have to redo the bylaws for the bad girls club. I need to figure out how she fits into this. Abby is a bad girl for real. For real. She's doing it on purpose. She knows exactly what she's doing.

Speaker 1:

I do sort of look forward to the fight between Richard and Gary eventually. I don't know if Gary's going to take the bait. He doesn't seem like a womanizer. Yeah, he's definitely not smooth enough to be a womanizer. Every woman that gets him is going to have to come on to him, but he better not disrespect the Vidalia Onion Queen any more than he already has. All right guys, until next time, stay hydrated, stay moisturized. Remember, if your brother comes in from out of town with Howie Mandel money in a briefcase, understand. The price is going to be massive. Think twice before you expect it. Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your business and keep all of your drama on TV. Thank you.