Soaplore
Ever wondered what you missed out on before the golden age of streaming? Welcome to Soaplore, the podcast where we dive headfirst into the wonderfully over-the-top world of vintage soap operas from the 80s and 90s. I’m Jett, a TV-loving Millennial who’s finally escaping the monotony of modern shows and embracing the drama, the shoulder pads, and the catfights of yesteryear.
Join me as I experience the soapy sagas of "Dynasty," "Dallas," "Falcon Crest," and "Knots Landing" for the first time, episode by episode. With over 200 shows, we’ll laugh, we’ll cry, and we’ll probably question our life choices—just like the characters do, but with slightly less fabulous wardrobes.
Whether you’re a Xillenial who grew up with these iconic series, a Millennial like me who missed out the first time around, or a new fan discovering the glorious chaos of primetime soaps, "Soaplore" is your time machine to the melodramatic past. Tune in, relive the magic, and let’s marvel together at how people ever survived without binge-watching.
Pour yourself a glass of something strong, because, trust me, you’ll need it. This isn’t just nostalgia; this is Soaplore—where every episode is a rollercoaster of emotions, and nothing is ever as it seems.
Soaplore
S4 EP10 Dynasty: The Proposal - The " Business Casual Beat Down " Episode
Join me on Soap Lore as I unravel the charm and chaos of Dynasty's unforgettable season four, episode 10, "The Proposal," while sprinkling in some of my fondest memories from the soap opera golden age. As we pay tribute to the beloved Drake Hogestyn, the unforgettable John Black from Days of Our Lives, we take a nostalgic stroll through the drama-filled corridors of Beverly Hills 90210 and other iconic shows that defined an era.
Get ready for a rollercoaster of emotions as we navigate the tangled web of relationships and power plays that make Dynasty a soap opera classic. Blake is eager to rekindle his romance with Krystal, but their saga pales in comparison to the deliciously devious maneuvers of Alexis, who never settles for anything less than equal stakes in business. With Fallon unwittingly caught in a seductive dance with a mysterious European, and Claudia and Steven's relationship teetering on the brink of disaster, there's no shortage of drama to keep us entertained.
As family secrets unravel, high-stakes showdowns ignite intense confrontations, and surprise pregnancies add layers of complexity to the Carrington saga, one can't help but wonder what new twists will surface. Will Fallon adapt to the unexpected turns in her life, or will Kirby's revelations shatter the fragile peace within the family? Tune in as we humorously explore the concept of a "baby daddy" and brace ourselves for the impending drama that soap operas so masterfully deliver.
You would like that Vandy dried up vampire day-walking freak. You can tell he smells like Campbell's soup. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome, or welcome back to SoFloor, the official gathering place for newbies, novices and OG diehard fans of the golden age primetime. I'm your host, jett, viewing and reviewing one of the funniest storylines of 1984. Whether you're new to this or true to this, sit back and enjoy. Tell your kids to play outside or outside To obey. No questions, suggestions or concerns for the next 25, 35 minutes. Everyone else in earshot, cool, quiet or kicked out because we are discussing our stories. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is Soap Lore. Hello, gorgeous, welcome back to another fun-filled edition of Soap Lore, our new place to be. All you newbies and novices, I hope you are ready for an adventure today Now. I know it's been a little bit of time since our last episode, but I hope you had time to think about this.
Speaker 1:For me, it's homecoming season. I mean, there's something going on every single day of the week, and one of the things I did not realize is that homecoming, although it's celebrated throughout the US, for those of you who aren't in the US, homecoming is usually happens in the fall in, like the public school system and the private school system, and what it is is an opportunity for the alumni to come back and watch a game. It's just like there's fanfare, there's homecoming queen, there's a parade, there's a whole thing, and there's usually a lot of activities during the week. It's very busy time parade, there's a whole thing, there's usually a lot of activities during the week. It's a very busy time, lots of fun. Though I didn't realize that in outside of Texas people didn't do mums, which is just a whole. If you've never seen one, look up Texas mums.
Speaker 1:Now the girls are wearing these big chest plates at this point in life. We didn't do that back in the day, like mine. I'm a tall girl like five'9, so mine definitely hit below my shin, but it was just long. We didn't really do the big heavy ones, because back in the day, back in my day, we used to have the pins to hold it up. Now they like hanging around your neck, which is a much better idea, but they're kind of loud and they're a little bit difficult. If you're from Texas, comment you know what I'm saying is they're not exactly practical, but they are really pretty and it's just a lot of fun. Anyway, I apologize for the delay. I have been trying to get these out, but something has come up every single day. Doesn't matter now, because we're here together and I feel so much better. If I'm just being perfectly honest, today we are jumping back into da-ha, da-da. We're jumping back into dynasty, that's right. We're at the mile high city, y'all.
Speaker 1:The first 20 minutes of this show is worth its weight in gold. You can legit tap out after that if you so choose to do so, or you can just listen to me. So I know some of you are watching this in real time, some of you are reliving it. Some of you are watching it for the first time. Maybe I had a time I cackled. I cackled, I checked out, I scratched my head, I didn't care, I cared a lot, but feels good to be back on Dynasty. One of you commented too that season five is where things really start to get good, and I'm excited because this is season four, episode 10.
Speaker 1:It's the thing I love about soap poppers and it's the thing I kind of hate. The thing I love to hate is how quickly they move on from the storyline During the daytime soaps. You know they drag it out for years. You cannot watch Days of Our Lives for like, like, like, seriously, six months and you're gonna be fine. But on one of these you can miss two episodes and be like, okay, now, wait a minute, what happened? Why don't they live together? This is kind of one of those. So settle in, grab yourself something bubbly and bright. We're gonna jump into some fan mail. Unfortunately, we have to do an rip. This one I really don't want to do, but we have to do it. And then this one I really don't want to do, but we have to do it. And then we're going to jump into our story. Season four, episode 10, dynasty the Proposal.
Speaker 1:If Beverly Hills 90210 is the soap opera I chose for myself, the daytime soap opera I chose was Days of Our Lives. Oh my gosh. Sadly today I found out I think he passed away yesterday after a battle of cancer. Just heartbreaking. Drake Hodgeston I hope I'm saying his last name right Also known as John Black, marlena's husband From Days of Our Lives, sadly passed away yesterday, just one day shy of his 71st birthday. Rest in peace.
Speaker 1:I believe he was on the show for 30 plus years. It's incredible. There's interest, there's a diehard fan base, and I was definitely one of those, which is kind of funny because the way I think about it, it's like I could watch. I definitely watched a lot of young and the restless back in the day because Victor Newman was just. I think I had a huge crush on him. I'm pretty sure she did.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to figure out why I saw so many episodes of those, but I believe it was one of two things. I was quiet enough to not really be disruptive and I think she forgot I was there a lot of times be disruptive and I think she forgot I was there a lot of times. But also, if memory serves me correctly, young and the Restless came on at about 11 30, right after the Price is Right, or 11 o'clock, so it was always about lunchtime. She's like okay, eat your lunch, be quiet, and you know what. I thought Nikki was cute when he actually showed up, so I didn't mind watching it actually. But my friends and I the girls who were kicked out we were often outside when the other shows were on.
Speaker 1:We decided, probably late junior high, maybe in high school over summer or something we decided we were going to start watching Days because it was a good story and we loved it. Oh my gosh, I think y'all you know this is 30 plus years that he was on the show. So I think when I met John on the show it's so confusing on daytime soap operas because people disappear for years and they come back I believe he had something going on with Kristen and Marlena came back, or vice versa, he had something going on with Marlena and Kristen came back, but it always seemed to me like Marlena was his main squeeze and they just kind of reconnected. This was also the same time that Lisa, rinna was Billy and Hope showed up out of nowhere. I didn't know who Hope was, but apparently that was a really big deal. I found out later and Hope and Bo were there and I feel like Brady was. It was a whole thing. You know what I mean. I remember when Belle was a baby and then she sneezed and left the room and when she came back she was in high school and they did that whole storyline where Chloe was this nerd who sang opera and everybody forgot how gorgeous she was until she took off her glasses. You know the trope those were. That was the 90s bread and butter that take off your glasses and your gorgeous trope. Anyway, sadly he has passed on. I hate to hear this.
Speaker 1:One of my favorite storylines is when Kristen had that crazy country cousin. Remember Susan and Susan? Susan was running amok all over Salem. She would show up pretending to be Kristen. She had like a spare pair of teeth that she kept at the ready so that she I don't remember what havoc she wreaked, but she definitely did so. Great show. Rest in peace, mr drake hodgson. Just so sad. Moving to lighter topics, my goal with this show is to just bring a little joy to your day. And, speaking of country cousins, I got a few very entertaining responses for my question, several episodes back, about what's the most country. What is the country is saying you've ever seen? And Amanda says she was at her stepfather's niece's wedding. So I guess this would be like her cousin by marriage or step cousin.
Speaker 1:We were sitting around at the wedding and everything was turning out well. We noticed pretty quickly, though, that something was just a little bit off. The bride's cousins and older brother had shotguns and went off into the woods as the ceremony began. They decided to hunt, and she puts that in quotation. Oh my gosh. They decided to hunt for the meal, hunt for the reception meal, instead of spending money for a caterer. We quite literally had to hang out until they shot a few ducks so we could eat dinner. You lying girl, you are lying. I don't think I've ever heard anything quite as country as that. Corey G says yes, an appliance on the back porch is standard. Yes, it is. And Lisa says I have been in not one, but 14, count them 14 camo clad weddings. I've seen those. So I totally believe you. I've seen a lot of weddings. 14 is quite a bit. But I've seen a lot of weddings where the bride's dress is all camo or the bridesmaid, the dudes, wear camo. That is par for the course.
Speaker 1:The long and short of this episode is relationships. It seems like the writers have decided okay, we got to push some of these boring storylines out and we got to bring in some fresh meat, some fresh drama, which makes sense. You can't start the season out, especially on dynasty, because they have, at least as far as I can remember, have ended with some sort of cliffhanger or some sort of bang. And then you got to pick up where you left off at the beginning, middle of the season, or where we're at probably the first third. Okay, let's set up some dominoes so we can knock them down later. It feels like Jeff and Kirby were those dominoes. I never really thought they had the best chemistry, but I like her with him so much more than I like him chasing Fallon. I just think that's a really boring thing.
Speaker 1:Crystal and Blake are in this one. Of course, as we know, fallon is preparing to be set up by Peter the Fibrillator whatever his name is. Who is broke Needs a little shmoney because he spends it all on booger sugar, I suppose. And a surprising entry from Adam. Adam is fine, we'll get into it. We'll get into it. We'll get into that. I think I said the first 20 minutes is worth it. The first 15 is worth it. The rest you can kind of check in and out of. I want to go ahead and get the boring people out of the way.
Speaker 1:Crystal and Blake are, quote unquote, in love. He is wooing her by telling the story, telling the audience, giving the audience these really long soliloquies about how he woos crystal and he decided to pick this piece of meat because she used to like this, that and the third womp, wompty, womp. She's traveling with them. They're sleeping in the same bed. It doesn't take a whiz to figure they're going to get back together. Plus, crystal don't have no job. Well, she didn't have a job until Blake gave her this PR job. That should go to crazy. I didn't mean to call her crazy To Tracy. I am waiting for Tracy to go crazy. Sadly she doesn't do it on this episode.
Speaker 1:But Blake and Crystal are lovey-dovey. That's all I want to say, and I'm not being a hater. Really, it's like Blake is good looking, crystal's beautiful, but they're just. I don't care about them. There's nothing and I do mean nothing at all interesting about them. But you know who is interesting? That Alexis. Alexis is running amok this episode. The whole Claudia and Steven thing keeps bubbling to the surface. I feel like that's about to collapse pretty soon. But let's find out where all the couples stand on the proposal. Thank you so much for sending that in. Check your show notes if you're listening on your iPad or your phone. Check the show notes. There is an option to text me. Text me whenever you want. And Amanda, by the way, I believe you girl, but man.
Speaker 1:I don't know if I've told this story before, but at my cousin's wedding this was kind of at the height of sort of the kente cloth thing my cousin and her husband had already gotten married. They'd gone down to the Justice of the Peace or the court and had a ceremony. She never wanted like a big wedding, so it wasn't a big deal. But his mother wanted to throw them something very special. So she said go, come to her house. And all of my family was excited because his family owns this restaurant. The restaurant's still in business. So we were like, okay, we were kind of fully expecting to maybe do like a recreation in the backyard and have these wonderful, you know meal. So we get there and we're sitting around for I'm not even lying like three hours just in her living room just hanging out. Um, my cousin is a sweetheart, her husband was a sweetheart. They just neither one of them you could tell, really wanted it to happen. But they did Tell me why.
Speaker 1:His mom comes strolling out three hours later and she has on this full like Nigerian wedding garment and everybody's like what the hell? I was a kid and even I was like let me, let me reiterate something. The bride and groom, my cousin the bride, her husband, cousin the bride, her husband the groom they're legit in jeans and a t-shirt. They're like not dressed up at all. She has like a nice shirt not even a t-shirt, but she's like a nice shirt and jeans. He has like a button down in jeans it. It was very much just supposed to be like a reception party. My family's dress not dressed up, the rest of his family's not dressed up. We're just kind of mingling.
Speaker 1:She comes out in a full night like like it was her wedding. It was so weird and then all she did was make deviled eggs and bought black tortilla chips. We're like this night, what is this? Oh, maybe that's a little bit country. Is it kind of country to throw a party just so you can? I don't think that's country. I think that is kind of an Alexis move. You just throw a party so that you can get dressed up and you don't even tell the bride and groom that it's like a thing. It's a total mess, just like the relationship between Kirby and the denim doormat himself, good old Jeffy, jeff Coleman.
Speaker 1:Before we get too deep into them, I'd like to do the sort of throwaway scenes right off the bat. Not that I'm saying this is a throwaway, this is a buildup. As I said, this is the middle of the season. We got to eliminate these dumb storylines and then we got to create some new ones. So Fallon is still with Peter the filibuster on the West Coast. He's showing her horses and teens talking about how much he likes thoroughbreds. He and the manimal have this weird fixation on comparing women to horses. It is what it is Like. Claudia is the stallion, in my opinion, fallon definitely is not. And for Fallon to be such a playgirl I am so disappointed with her taste in men. She always picks the squares.
Speaker 1:Peter theFilbator, defibulator, whatever his name is DeFilibus, defil, defilb well, there's a B thrown in there. It's hard to say. Pete, from somewhere in Europe, doesn't blink. That makes me very nervous. He sits up straight and he doesn't blink. It's very odd. I'm assuming the only reason this scene or these two scenes happen is so that we will know that Peter is not just vaguely European. He seems to be the son of an Austrian baroness and he said his father was Portuguese and somehow or another. He ends up in Brazil and Fallon's like no, why, where would you go to Brazil? I'm like it snows in Europe, doesn't snow in Brazil. That's weird brain. That's an easy choice if you just want to get away. Plus, rich people have options. He does what he wants to do. What he wants to do now is seduce her in bed, feed her oranges after the fact and get the six million dollars here with the quick.
Speaker 1:Claudia the stallion is having zero luck finding any quiet time for she and steven. Steven is kept very busy by his mother's never-ending laundry list. She's on her way to canada, so steven has to go and attend this meeting. Claudia shows up and she's like look, and I want you to go shopping with me. I need to look cute because I don't want your mom to read me for phil. And he's like so I don't know, he thinks her wardrobe sucks. I don't think it sucks, but he's like you know, my mom is best dressed. Claudia's like yeah, she has one best dress few years in in a row. Maybe I should listen. Listen, I Jad don't think that's a bad idea, because every time you see Alexis, baby, she keeps a mink, she keeps a glove, set a turban. She's going to put that ish on. You should definitely side with her. They just have a little brief moment where we, the audience, know that they are not spending time together.
Speaker 1:A little later on, stephen heads over to Alexis's house. She's not home because she's out handling business, which we'll get to here in a minute. Mark is there, drunk as a skunk, with his feet on her desk. Nobody respects other people's property. This episode Feet are all over desk.
Speaker 1:Stephen comes in to get some paperwork and Mark makes a comment about her being, her, being Alexis, being a barana. Well, that gets him a stern talking to and he's like I'm so sorry, dude, I'm so sorry. It must be the brandy, it must be the whiskey, but what it does is it puts a seed inside of Steven's mind. He goes and he talks to Crystal and he's like no, listen, chris, the only reason I'm giving him a chance is because you vouch for him. He saved your life. He quote unquote saved my mother's life, but he hates her.
Speaker 1:I kind of think there's something more to this. She's like no, no, no, no, no, I'm no Mark. He just gets drunk and he says stupid stuff. Don't even worry about him. So what are we going to do? We're going to worry about Mark. I'm going to keep my eye on Mark. He's also a really sucky choice. If I want someone to save my life, it's one thing to pull you from a building there's no other person to fight there but this kid has no survival skills. He's walking around drunk. Get up and walk back and forth in my penthouse. Please get your dirty feet off my desk. Do something, mark, do something.
Speaker 1:While I'm watching Mark, someone is watching Alexis like a hawk, and it is none other than Dexter. Now you can tell he's got it bad. This seems to be a genuine attraction to me, but he wants a side of business. So he shows up unannounced and the writers are writing this episode. He opens the door and it's really overly dramatic. And he's all standing there.
Speaker 1:She goes are you waiting for me to take a picture? And he's like I just I came by. You wouldn't? You don't want to go into business with me, you don't want to. Let me take you to lunch. You won't do this, you won't do that. And she's like you're doing well with my rejection. What do you want? Why are you here again?
Speaker 1:He informs past her male secretary when he wasn't looking, and he's like dang, alexis, you are so fine. You should come to my ranch in New Mexico. I can dig up some turquoise for you. She cackles a little bit, just like sir. Turquoise is a semi-precious stone. Tell me why. My jaw hit the ground like dang. I don't know anything about jewelry. She doesn't want to be draped in turquoise. She doesn't do semi anything. It's all the way I. I am a precious stone. Baby boy, you are once again underestimating me.
Speaker 1:Well, about this time her male secretary comes bursting in and he leaves a little something on her desk. She reminds him hey, baby boy, I know you're new to this not true to this but I'm gonna need you to knock or announce yourself. Don't ever just walk into my office. I'm so, so sorry, mrs Colby, won't happen again. And she's like Dex, I have some business to attend to. I think you need to leave. And he's like I'd love to leave, but I'm going to fix myself a little drinky poo and then I'll leave. She's like cool. So she leaves to go catch a plane. She's the same business that Dex Dexter wanted to get into with her and split 50-50. She wasn't having it Now because she has left.
Speaker 1:She is unaware that her secretary has left even more. Well, she knows he handed her the envelope and it has the Santar whatever it's called deal that is in Canada. It has that stamped on the front of the envelope. She leaves it on her desk. As Dex is going to prepare himself a beverage, he knocks it over, puts two and two together so he gets on the first thing, smoking, and he gets on up to Canada. Now, his jet must be better than hers, or she was delayed because she had to stop and talk trash to Crystal and Blake. Now, oh, I don't even want to talk about them anymore. Blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:Apparently, crystal has phenomenal veins that pop out of her neck when she gets excited Because all of a sudden she's a seasoned PR professional with like 10 seconds worth of training. And Blake's like oh, don't do anything about that vein, I love that vein. I was like you would like that vein. You dried up vampire day walking freak. You can tell he smells like Campbell's soup and menthols. I don't dislike Blake, but I'm just like shut up, like I don't want to hear you Don't try to seduce anybody. I'll give it to him. I will say this he is an attractive man, but please don't be smooth, because every time he starts talking it's like a 45 minute speech about.
Speaker 1:Don't you remember the first time I saw you and I bought this card for you and you smelled that bubble gum and you thought it was amazing? I never forgot anything. Oh, blake, oh Blake, crystal, you were so cheap, get it together. How are you going to leave this man 47 times and all he's going to tell you about is bubble gum and the scent and a vein that pops out of your Girl shut up? I forgot what I was talking about. Oh Of, I forgot what I was talking about. Oh, of course Alexis. Alexis is stunting all episode long. She is dressed to kill. Stephen is right, you should probably listen to her quality about putting on clothes, but she arrives at the airport in just such a rub it in your face way.
Speaker 1:It is such a flex to be able to drive like a British car in the US, not because they look better or anything, but it's such a flex to be able to sit in our passenger side and drive people around. I have that invasive thought quite a bit when I'm in the passenger side, like if my husband's driving and I'm sitting in the passenger side. I'm like how long, like how hard would it be to drive on this side of the car? Would I side? I'm like how long, like how hard would it be to drive on this side of the car? Would I forget? I feel like I'd forget, but maybe you'd probably get used to it pretty quickly.
Speaker 1:Anyway, alexis hops out of her Rolls Royce and Crystal and Blake are exiting their PJ and she's like oh my God, hi guys, I saw that whack article you wrote, crystal, you suck. I wish I had a copy, I'd make you sign it. And Blake and Crystal are all like ha ha ha. Yeah, everybody knows that our company is better than yours. And she's like please, you wish the weird thing though. I'm distracted because I'm not keen on watching the Blake and Crystal exchanges, but Alexis was in the scene so I paid attention.
Speaker 1:But Alexis tells her driver driver who hops out of the American passenger side because it's a British car, you know what I'm saying. He hops out on that side and she goes take this, take these papers back to the office. And instead of getting into the car, he just starts walking. And I'm like, sir, you need to move that car A so the planes can leave. And are you going to? You're going to walk back to the office, nevermind that. Move that car a so the planes can leave. And are you gonna? You're gonna, walk back to the office, never mind that doesn't matter if he walked or not, because she got into her personal plane and she flies up to Canada. It's clearly dark.
Speaker 1:She gets to the office of Santar Tanmar, whatever it's called. The secretary's like oh yeah, Mr So-and-so is waiting for you. So when she opens the door, mind if she's in. She's changed on the plane. It's like her fourth outfit of the day. When she opens the door, tell me why?
Speaker 1:Dex dexter has his feet his booted montana feet on this man's desk and he's flipping through these files. She's like dex, what the hell? What are you doing here? He just bought the company. He's like I'm gonna do you a favor because you're so fine. Why don't we split this 60 40, me, me being 60, you being 40. She chuckles. She's like boy, please, I would never take the lesser percentage. I better take the sales price, because in the next five minutes the price is going to change. And she cackles Sir, I don't buy anything on sale. I felt poverty seeping through my veins. Wow, it's not poverty, I suppose it's just. You know, I need to count my checks, I need to count my coin, I need to know exactly how much I have. Man, but she's rich, rich. So she tells him you go get some papers drawn up, I'll be back tomorrow, we'll talk about it.
Speaker 1:She shows up the next day in an electric blue silk jumpsuit. I thought it was satin, but anyone who doesn't buy anything on sale, I bet you don't wear false materials either. She's in the silk, cobalt blue. Get up. Dex is all hot and bothered. They sign the papers, she kisses him and then she refuses to sleep with him because she says quote I'll never let a man take me to bed and the cleaners the same day. That's a semi quote. Rearrange whatever she says, all the words, just maybe not in that order.
Speaker 1:I love this. I love the tension between she and Dexter. He is really believable as somebody who wants her and he also seems a little bit ruthless. So I'm excited to see what this new addition does for Colby Co and what that means, with her going head to head with Blake, he and Crystal. Last time I'm talking about this, he and Crystal have this stupid scene. It's absolutely ridiculous. So they get home to the manchome and Crystal is, of course, head to toe with Kareem and he's like do you hear that? She's like no, I don't hear anything. Exactly, I let the staff go. All 9,000 of the staff members are gone.
Speaker 1:I just wanted to spend time with this cute little chef who had like this regional cuisine. She had to make it. Basically. He kicked everybody out and made sure that they left the ingredients for one of Crystal's whack omelets. I already know it tastes like ketchup. But she goes into the kitchen, she whips him up this omelet, even though they walked inside the house talking about how fun the movie was, the popcorn was good. Then they go upstairs and have like a sleazy Cinemax. Everybody's got on three robes. They're sitting on the floor and I'm like Blake, you know you can't get up sitting on the floor, and I'm like Blake, you know you can't get up. Let me just stop.
Speaker 1:I don't know why I'm so irritated by that today. I think it is the seduction of Crystal Carrington. I forget, with her fake name, crystal Grant, crystal Carrington, her seduction level is so very low. In order to win her back, he puts her in position to serve him so you can serve as my PR person, which means you're going to be cleaning up after me when I make a complete and total fool of myself. Not when, not if, but when I make a complete and total fool of myself. Oh also, why don't you come home and cook for me? It'll be so much fun. And she's like oh my gosh, oh Blake, you remember? Crystal, are you crazy? Where is Samantha Josephine? I need Sammy Jo to come in and just tap her on the shoulder and be like, hey, we don't do that, we don't do that in Ohio. You're gonna have to make this man earn this. You don't even get a prenup yet. You fool she walking around anyway. That's that on. We got to get to the main event.
Speaker 1:At the top of this episode we find Kirby still running amok not running amok, running throughout the house. She just told Jeff that she'd been raped by Adam and that it was this horrible thing. She took off running and he's always about three or four steps behind her in penny loafers, mind you. So he catches her downstairs and she darts back upstairs because she forgot her prenatal vitamins, I'm assuming, or some prescriptions. So she puts him in her clutch, he comes into the room and he has questions. In all fairness, why not? This is where Jeff is coming from. She just revealed to him that she had been raped by Adam, which is why she's five months pregnant and not two months pregnant.
Speaker 1:Now Jeff is thinking back on this like he feels set up. He feels like wait a minute, I saw you in a hotel. Why did you? If somebody did this to you, why would you be in a hotel room with him? Why were you spending so much time with Adam? Did you want me to see something? He feels like he's been set up and she's like no, no, no, let me.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you what happened. I saw the way you were looking at Fallon, all up and through the house. I've had this huge crush on you. It was pretty abundantly clear to me that you were never going to look at me that way and you know I wanted to feel like a woman. He asked, adam showed interest. He I did not know, he was a rapey off the meds weirdo at the time, so I went on a date with him. Then he did what he did. Then he apologized and he tricked me because I speak français and he wanted me to interpret some things. But then he was just tricking again and Jeff's like okay, you know, all right, all right, all right, all I believe you. So he turns on his heels and he decides to go find Adam. He wants to hear it straight from the horse's mouth. Now you know him and Adam already don't get along with each other, so this can only end up one way. I was totally surprised, but hey, I expected there to be a little bit of pushing and shoving in an office, not at a work site.
Speaker 1:So Jeff shows up to the work site, he waits for the workers to get off this very, very questionable elevator and he takes it all the way up to the top floor because one of the workers is like yeah, I saw Adam up there. When he gets there he's like Adam, you raped her. Adam's like you wish, so he gets they face each other. You know they're rich boys. Rich boys are probably not going to swing at each other. That's what I'm thinking. Adam's thinking, because he's, he mouths off.
Speaker 1:Next thing, you know, jeff hauls off and punches him right in the face. Adam makes that face. You make if you ever hit somebody in the face with a dodgeball and they kind of no, their face kind of scrunches up. Adam does that and he whoa, he falls back into a pile of dirt. He's like if you think that was for honor, there's none left, mind you. That's what he says to Jack, to Jeff, if that punch was for honor, you're too late, which causes Jeff to leap on him and they start punching each other.
Speaker 1:So Jeff has shown up to make sure that he can, he can defend Kirby and just go ahead and go off on this kid. Adam all of a sudden is like he gave it to me blah, blah, blah. But then when he gets up, when he starts getting the upper hand, you know, he jumps up, kicks Jeff in the ribs and Jeff's like oh my god, my spleen. Adam puts his penny loafers on Jeff's throat and says and she's too good to be your second choice. So at this point the emotions are coming out. He really does feel for Kirby, but he's crazy and he's already attacked her. So they're punching and swinging. Punching and swinging. Jeff gets him in a headlock. He's like attacked her.
Speaker 1:So they're punching and swinging. Punching and swinging. Jeff gets them in a headlock. He's like was it like this? Okay, now I'm saying they're fighting, but these boys one of these boys went to private school. I did not expect Jeff to have hands at all. I'm a little disappointed in Billings Montana, adam, because I'm like you should have been lifting barrels of hay your whole life. What is your problem? Adam clearly was a bookish kid.
Speaker 1:So, anyways, whoo ha, slap this, choke them out. Penny loafer, scrape this penny loafer, jump and attack. They're bursting through, sheep rot. All this on the top floor. Think of a garage with no edges. They're, they're closing in this building. They have not gotten that far. There's nothing but a wisp of wire that is surrounding this in this sort of like a makeshift gate. Finally jeff gets. He gets a drop on him, whooping him down right and they get real real close to the edge. Now the stunt doubles are stunt doubling. I thought one of them was black for a second. It's like y'all don't even care who you put in this show.
Speaker 1:So they, they start fighting. They get close to the edge and jeff wants to heave ho adam off the side of the building. So he has to grab him between the crotch and like pushes him, he scooches him. Adam is like no, no, gets to the end. He's dangling his head off and jeff is just super pissed like let go, let go, you're gonna die, choking him out. He says I hope your baby's gonna be okay once she finds out that her dad's a weirdo rapist. In so many words I can't remember the exact dialogue.
Speaker 1:Adam snaps out and he's like what, what? I didn't know, jeff. I didn't know, I didn't know Jeff. Lets him go, starts walking back downstairs.
Speaker 1:I'm like, okay, you didn't know, you didn't know what. You didn't know that that was your baby. Okay, uh, fair, you have the Adam. Adam, in all fairness, I can play devil's advocate. You have the right to absorb this information. This is a lot of information to take in on a day like this, especially when you were being shug nighted a la vanilla ice over the side of a building. You got a lot to think about. But he can't shake it. I didn't know and I'm thinking, uh, well, that's not really an apology, you didn't know. So now what?
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, jeff goes to you guessed it la mirage to cool off, where he and claudia the stallion comes up to him and he's like I tried to take in the wall, claudia, but everywhere I went I had a brick wall. There's just know, I've got a lot on my mind and she's looking at him with that look in her eyes. He's like have you ever been that high or that low? And I was thinking, yeah, she's definitely been that high, because she was on top of a building, she threw a doll off, you were about to throw a man off, so she totally knows where you're coming, coming from. And she has that look in her eye like she's saying dude, listen to me. Two words temporary insanity. Just do what you gotta do with this. Like, oh my god, I blacked out. No, no, no, she doesn't tell him that. She says, in not so many words you need to talk this through. It doesn't seem like you ever really talk anything through with anybody. Figure out what you want, talk it through with Kirby and then let bygones be bygones, let the chips fall where they may.
Speaker 1:So he goes home and the home is empty. Kirby has gone and he sees a little note that she scribbled. So he picks up the telephone and he calls the airport because she wrote down some like flight numbers and he asked about the flight and they're like yeah, it leaves in an hour. He looks at his watch, but while he's doing all that, I'm looking at the background on Jeff's side of the bed. Jeff is so into himself Guess who he has in a frame next to his bed so that when he rolls over, first person he sees is himself. Oh my, oh my. He's a conceited one, this one. But nobody and I do mean nobody puts as many miles on a pair of penny loafers as Jeffrey V Colby, jeffrey V Colby runs to his Mercedes and he runs to the airport. He is late. Ticket guy's like, ah, dang, yeah, man, you just missed it. But we have another flight in about 12 hours. Just like whatever, I'll borrow Blake's plane hours. I was like whatever, I'll borrow Blake's plane. But he turns around and he sees an exhausted pregnant Kirby resting peacefully.
Speaker 1:Long story long, they decide they're not going to be together. It was never really meant to be. She's like the first time you kissed me, you called me Kirby. I mean, you called me Fallon. I should have known something was up from the beginning. But you know what he doesn't do. He does not tell her that he did indeed sleep with Fallon when he was in Montana. He's still keeping that to himself and letting her you know he's gaslighting her with her suspicions.
Speaker 1:They decide to go home and she says she's just gonna stick around long enough to get a divorce. He offers to be her baby daddy. He's like listen, and the baby's gonna need a name. I don't mind it being another Colby, like I'm not tripping. She's like no, no, my name's good enough.
Speaker 1:And then I was thinking well, that baby is still at Carrington, so if nothing else, you need to stick around. Have the baby, get a piece of one of these companies actually both companies, because that's Alexis's grandson or granddaughter as well. Go ahead and get this kid set up, then fly, do what you need to do. But when they get home, I had all but forgotten again that Adam also lives at the mansion. So he's sitting on the steps with his face freshly punched in, his ego bruised and the realization that he is now a baby daddy and he's like please talk to me.
Speaker 1:I didn't know. So I started thinking more. Like, did he mean he didn't know that he knocked her up when he raped her? Like what exactly are you? What exactly do you want here, sir? I'm very confused. He didn't do anything to her after she was pregnant. So like what? What is your point exactly?
Speaker 1:I guess we'll have to wait and see on episode 11. All right, guys, that's it. That's all for this episode. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Looks like we're clearing our plate for some brand new drama. We're gonna see how Fallon shapes up with the little dude, see if Kirby sticks around or she's gonna suddenly be like I'm sure she's gonna go into labor at some point. I think she's already five or six months. How are they going to explain this to the rest of the family? That's the big question right there for me. I guess we'll have to wait in the meantime. In between time, the next time you're on your way to a scuffle, reach to the back of your closet and get a fresh pair of penny loaves you will slide right into a victory. Brandy close, close, your inner moon closer and your remote focus. Stay moisturized, hydrated, mind your business and keep all of your drama on beat.