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S2 EP17 Knots Landing- Designs: The ''Ada Bixby is a Stupid Baby!!'' Episode

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Have you ever wondered what it's like to be caught in the web of 1980s soap opera drama? Picture this: I just bought my first pair of reading glasses, and it hit me—aging is full of unexpected surprises, much like the plot twists in Knot's Landing. This episode takes us on a nostalgic trip back to the almost-finale of Season 2, Episode 17, where we reminisce about the captivating chaos of J.R. Ewing's return and the show's deep-rooted ties to Dallas.

Get ready for an exploration of the intricate family dynamics and romantic entanglements that make Knott's Landing a timeless classic. We uncover J.R.'s obsession with a super engine, discuss Olivia's amusing cornrows request, and laugh at the absurdities of Kenny's briefcase-and-flannel combo. With Abby maneuvering through secret deals and orchestrating her own dramatic escapades, we're thrown into a whirlwind of scheming, betrayal, and bewildering business ventures. And yes, there's a debate about environmental standards that only adds to the hilarity of J.R.'s Texas swagger.

Join us as we anticipate the explosive season finale, teetering on the edge of a potential kidnapping plot and Jeff's quirky antics with a Volkswagen van. With so much at stake, the family's frantic efforts to maintain order keep us on the edge of our seats. We also share a light-hearted tip about navigating social disasters with a hideous print gift, promising to keep personal drama firmly anchored in the world of television. Whether you're a longtime fan or a newcomer to Knott's Landing, there's plenty of humor and intrigue waiting for you.

Speaker 1:

He goes home and, just so that the audience doesn't forget, there's more than one sex symbol on this show, he does this whole scene chest naked. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome or welcome back to another podcast edition of Soap War. I'm your host, jet, viewing and reviewing the soapiest, studziest, almost finale of 1981. So, whether you're new to this or true to this, you better sit back and enjoy. Tell the kids it's time to play outside or out of sight. Don't pay no questions, suggestions or concerns. In the next 25 to 35 minutes, everyone else in the air shop cool, quiet or kicked out are your only options because we have to dissect this story. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is Soap Lore Party. People, welcome or welcome back to another fun television of Soap Lore. I love a good Christmas party, I like the day before, I like the day before and it's so much fun for me. So I wish there was a word for the season finale Eve. Let's call it that the season finale Eve. Knott's Landing, season two, episode 17.

Speaker 1:

Designs Immediately I thought about designing women. That was one of the many shows I watched growing up in syndication when my dad was being extra late. You can't have any fun. You have to read books all the time and whatnot. My small window of television Designing Women was on. Julia Shaker Sugar no, yeah, not Sugar Shaker Sugar, baker right Was one of the most iconic women on TV. I loved that entire group. What was it? Suzanne? Oh man, julia Suzanne, I can't remember the real sweet one. And then the redheaded lady from Ghostbusters. They kept me in stitches and it's like it in my mind. It never clicked to me that that was probably in the eighties as well. They were just so funny. I didn't really pay attention to the costumes and whatnot.

Speaker 1:

But we're not here to talk about that. We're talking about a totally different set of designs and because this is still season two of Knott's Landing, guess what that means? We have guest appearances. That's right. Just so you don't forget. This is a spinoff, spin on, spin on again. Jr Ewing makes an appearance this episode and it gets a little bit dirty. So go ahead and grab yourself something bubbling and bright.

Speaker 1:

We have one piece of fan mail I want to jump into. If you're listening, I really appreciate that. If yours hasn't come up, I think some are just more topical for other things. I try to match them up with whatever episode I'm watching, but I promise, I promise I read all of them and I definitely respond best I can. So, season two, episode 17 of Knott's Landing Designs Ooh, millennials, millennials, millennials, designs.

Speaker 1:

Oh, millennials, millennials. For the record, millennials are people born between 1981 and, I think, 96, 97. There's some debate about that. I just wonder has anyone else had to buy readers? It is the weirdest thing.

Speaker 1:

I literally have never worn glasses my entire life, never saying I literally have never worn glasses my entire life, never. 20-20, all day, all night. I try to be a responsible American or whatever, and if you live in other parts of the world, you don't have to deal with this, probably. But sometimes your insurance gives you these little incentives. If you go and do all the checkups, they give you like 150 bucks, which basically pays for the the doctor's visit. So I try to be responsible and I take myself and my oldest kid to the doctor. I swear to you, I swear they did that whole men in black thing where they do the little inoculator thing where it knocks you out. You don't remember anything after that. My eyes were 100% fine. I swear. I went in the machine, did the 2020. I thought of Justin Timberlake the whole time. When I stepped out, all of a sudden she's like oh, you're nearsighted. I'm like, no, no, no, I'm not. So I've had to purchase readers, so I just listen. It's new to me. Gen X I'm sure you guys have already been through this. Gen Z you need to be prepared for this. Did not know this was going to happen. Literally never wore, I've never worn contacts, I've never worn glasses, I've never had any trouble with my eyes until all of a sudden I just wake up one day and they're like oh yeah, you need to move back about 10 feet. So, dear Jax, this is the fan mail of the week.

Speaker 1:

In the iconic high-rise brawl between Jeff and Adam in Dynasty Season 4, was there a special insurance policy for actors engaging in epic window-smashing drama? And, more importantly, do they get hazard pay for stylishly defying gravity while in designer suits? I love you. Those are fantastic questions and I reader doesn't say where they're from. I love you. There's like a phone number.

Speaker 1:

I'm not going to repeat that, but I have to say this part of the challenge of doing a show like this is that I have a committed to kind of walking into this blind. Of course, every now and again I get a little bit of a tidbit. So far, nothing has been spoiled for me. With that being said, though I don't know, I kind of want to look into that. I haven't decided how far into Dynasty or some of the bigger shows, how far into it. Before I start looking into things. I feel like season six-ish is far enough into it where there's not going to be any major spoilers. It is my experience. I was actually talking to my baby brother today. He just started watching Dexter and I was telling him how good the seasons were. I am not one of those people who's like oh, it just fell off after this.

Speaker 1:

I think the longer something is playing out, the more you know the characters, the harder it is to be surprised by anything they do. That is my kind of explanation as a TV kid. You can't keep the magic of not knowing, of the unknown. The unknown is only, I mean, benefit of the doubt, and unknown is only for so long. There's a very small window. So, wow, I don't know, but I would love to know some tidbits about the show.

Speaker 1:

I would think honestly, I don't think the the actors got hazard pay, because if you've been watching dynasty you know they love a stunt double. Dynasty don't give a damn about the stunt double looking like the person. They put a dude in a wig. They put a linebacker in a wig for the Alexis and Crystal fist fight in her apartment. So Dynasty really doesn't care. I am curious to see how the other shows do, particularly Falcon Crest, because it's the only show I can think of that is actually have like pyrotechnics. So I'm assuming they probably hire stunt doubles. No hazard pay, unfortunately, for the actors. But I promise you after season six I will look it up. Party people can you believe we are at the tail end of season two? I feel like Northland has just flown by, but we all know how that goes. First season of any show is the pilot season. They're just kind of testing the waters. Season two they pick up a little steam. I'm expecting so much for season three.

Speaker 1:

My initial thoughts after watching this show I have to say too I get a lot of fan mail, slash texts about why the social media isn't like. Why isn't there more of a presence. Honestly, I'm afraid of spoilers. That's just the kind of long and short of it. I don't want to not interact with people. I think that'd be the best part, but I have to figure out a way where I can enjoy the show coming into this blind, versus being spoiled. I will say that, by and large, most people everybody has been very, very respectful at this point. I think people get that this is. I am reacting to this in real time. I do not want to give you guys a false review because I've watched it, you know, a month or two ago. That's not the case. I generally try to do a review within watching it, within a couple of days, if I can help myself.

Speaker 1:

So let's jump into designs. Now. I'm thinking what the hell are we talking about? But when I realized, as a credit roll that said something about Larry Hagman, I'm like, oh, jr is back. We are not going to let the general public forget that this is a spinoff and it's going to spin on and off again until we finish this whole program, at least so far.

Speaker 1:

Season two is. It's kind of a concerning because we've had Bobby JR, bobby no, no, no JR, bobby, jr, and then we've had a crossover on Dallas. Now they're still doing this thing where they're not really talking about anything that's going on in Dallas. It's all about the story here, which makes a lot of sense, but it makes me wonder when this was actually filmed versus season four of Dallas. So JR is back in town and his whole MO is all about that super engine, that Jay what the hell is his name? That super engine, that that, uh Jay what the hell is his name? That Sid and the first female mechanic ever have invented and darn near perfected. But Sid is back to being aloof.

Speaker 1:

Before we get into all that, I want to just say the title of this episode is Ada Bixby is a stupid baby. Ha ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha. This is a quote from none other than Olivia Cunningham, abby Cunningham's daughter. I am, I listen, she's right up there with baby Joseph for me this episode. So the show opens up and Valene is getting is braiding the baby's hair, which is ironic because Abby's obviously home. This means this is probably before 8am, which is really weird to be at someone's house before 8 am if they're there. Valene is getting the baby ready for school and Olivia's like hey, can you get me some cornrows? Listen, you know what it is.

Speaker 1:

I was a little black girl before I was a black woman and so much of my childhood and I do mean so much was spent getting my hair done and did, and God help me if I didn't have a little bit of PTSD when she started talking about them cornrows. My mother's sister, my auntie, who I adore, is a perfectionist, not was. Is you remember that movie, christmas Vac Vacation, the Griswolds? We called her the Griswolds because her Christmas vacations rivaled his. I mean, from the time I can remember she was on it. She is a perfectionist in every way, especially when it comes to cornrows.

Speaker 1:

For so those of you who don't know, cornrows are when you you need hair probably at least two to three inches long, and the braids are going to go be braided to your scalp. They're going to be very tight to the scalp and they're going to go straight back. As time went on, people started calling them straight back. So when this little girl, olivia, this little white girl, asked for corn, I immediately chuckled and started thinking about the early 2000s when, you know, justin Timberlake had his cornrows. I think Kayfab has some cornrows Like is she preparing to audition, for you Got Served in 2003? She just wants to be prepared for it. But then I remembered oh my God, is this the Bo Derek era? This has to be the Bo Derek era it.

Speaker 1:

When I saw her picture running back, I thought she looks a little bit odd. I feel like the braids were a little bit funny on the side of her head. That's just me. As someone who's had my hair braided my entire life, it was a little bit bizarre. But she also looks so much like Crystal. Bo Derek looks like a a mixture of Abby and Crystal, if you think about it. I'd love to hear your opinion. But for whatever reason, at first I thought she really wanted to be a hip hop dancer, but then I realized, oh, this is the Bo Derek era.

Speaker 1:

She's asking Valene to please give her cornrows, when I tell you Valene's fingers are not, she's not a braider. I can tell if somebody can braid hair immediately, it's not a braider. I can tell somebody can braid hair immediately. It's just like one of those things you can tell who's a good cook, who's not. Valene is struggling to plait the braid and you can tell.

Speaker 1:

They switch scenes because somebody clearly came in and finished braiding Olivia's hair but while she's getting her hair did, she's explaining to her mother why her father is buying them so many gifts. She's like mom, my father is insecure. He no longer lives with us. He can't show his love and affection in the traditional terms, so he has to do it through monetary gain. He has to purchase items for us so that he feels secure as a man. He's providing for us, he's giving us joy and this is making up for the the void of not having us in his home. Now Valene and Abby and me are looking at each other like wow, talk that, talk Olivia, talk your talk. She's right. Jeff is making up for the fact that he is not here with his family, so he's doing the most. Now it's worth mentioning. If you guys are not watching it, you need to jump on immediately because he's been doing just kind of not necessarily outright aggressive things, but he is showing up. He's taking the kids out, he's maybe he's dropping them off, maybe he's supposed to drop them off at four, drops them off about eight just to let Abby know. Hey, if I wanted to do something, I could Look how easy it would be. We all know Abby's not the best mother because she's not that attentive.

Speaker 1:

Like it's kind of weird to me that this woman only works a part-time job, yet Darlene and Karen are picking up the slack where her children are concerned. That does not make sense to me. She also does not drive herself to work. She only rides with Gary or Sid. She also does not drive herself to work, she only rides with Gary or Sid. I also left out this last episode. There was a scene with her in the car with Gary and they were talking about friendships and she's like I just think it's ridiculous that a man and woman can't be friends. Now the truth is she wants Gary's drawers for some reason. She must have seen him in the baby blue shorts and was like I need that, I want that. But Gary does not seem to be picking up what she's dropping. He does not seem to be into her as of now, but this episode she's going to try her best to get him the way she wants him.

Speaker 1:

So let's go ahead and dive into there's not a lot of bit players this episode. I don't even really want to talk about Ginger and Kenny. Ginger is pregnant. Kenny is getting her nurse by reading all of the prenatal books telling her to eat. Right by the end of the episode he's like yo, those cravings are Mother Nature. I don't want to get in the way of Mother Nature. You know what? That's great, kenny, the weirdest thing about this whole situation is that Kenny had a briefcase. What anything? The weirdest thing about this whole situation is that Kenny had a briefcase. What the hell does Kenny need a briefcase for? He had a briefcase on and a flannel shirt. You can't be Nirvana and Donald Trump in the same breath. You have to pick one or the other. Those two things just don't mesh. You can't be a businessman and this fly by the seat of your pants. I'm the coolest music manager, but his briefcase was filled with prenatal books just so he could get on her nerve. The entire episode. It was cute, or whatever.

Speaker 1:

Jr ewing is in the mother loving building. That's right, john ross ewing the second is back in la checking on his not his brother particularly, but checking on that engine development. He just stopped by for no reason. Now, this is odd to me In the course of Knoth's landing. There's really no need for him to come back, except I had forgotten about the whole exchange between he and Gary. You recall. At the end of one of the episodes, jr says hey brother, I know you're dealing with these unsavory types. Why don't I give you some shmoney and you sell the parts? You make this money. It's all gonna be Gucci and golden. We thought Gary was gonna turn on his heels, on his booted heels, because despite him being in Cali, he's gonna continue to be a North Texas boy and wearing boots. Wherever he goes, he spins on his heels and he takes the 50k. Oh, this is the one time I did not do the math. But if, if, perspective push is true, that's probably a little bit closer to $250,000 in 2024 versus 1981. So there is that little bit of an agreement.

Speaker 1:

So JR shows up and he's in his big Texas limousine, he's at the dealership and he's chatting up Sid and shit, sid is all shucks. He's back to being the totally aloof person which has been so weird to me, because this season he has been very. He's been a lot of things. He's been a little bit of not necessarily a predator I don't want to use that word. He's not a predator but he was, uh, entertaining a woman who wanted him. He was a little bit more aggressive. He was absolutely out of his mind about his son potentially smoking that Mary Jane. He's been a lot of people, but he's now back to the yuck, yuck, yuck. Well, jr, there's no point you coming.

Speaker 1:

So JR's like, hey, I just thought I'd stop by and see how the engine is going. Remember, gary is supposed to fill him in. Doesn't seem like that's happening. Sid's like well, I mean, yeah, you can take me to dinner if you want, but, truth be told, there's nothing to talk about. Jr's like well, listen, I, I'm not gonna come all this way not to feed you. Says like bet, I like a good meal.

Speaker 1:

Abby comes out, so does Gary. He's like Abby, I don't have a date. Would you like to be my date? Don't worry about nothing, your brother's there to chaperone. It'll be fantastic. She's not one to pass up some information. So she's like cool, bet. He sees Gary. He's like Gary. As much as I'd love to invite my baby brother, I know how Valene feels about me, so I'm not even going to do it. Gary's like that's cute or whatever.

Speaker 1:

So they go to dinner and the chatter, chatter, chitchat is all about this engine. Apparently, it's the talk of the town all over Knott's Landing. Everybody wants to know about this engine that is actually getting 90 miles to the gallon. Here's one of the things that stands out that still seems to be true to this day the whole emissions rating in California versus in Texas. Texas does not seem to care very much about those things. It is more of a free enterprise. A lot of like the oil work is very, very dirty. I know there's OSHA that kind of keeps on. There's a lot of regulations, there's been a lot of steps made to keep people a little bit safer, but um, as far as how things burn off, it does not seem to be a big thing. I think if you, if you're someone who has moved from California to Texas there's been a big inflection You'll notice that the recycling is harder to find recycling in Texas. It's not that people don't care about it, but it's just like things are just kind of ran a little bit differently. Seems to be the case in 1981 as well, because Sid's like well then, the engine is running at 90. It could get 100, but also it's so dirty Like there's no way it's going to pass any of the regulation.

Speaker 1:

Jr's whole thought process is like don't worry about that, let me worry about that. What I want to do is go ahead and build a company, and what we'll do? We'll start licensing out the engine design and that way all these car companies will have to pay us. Then Karen is with Sid and and that way, all these car companies will have to pay us. Then Karen is with Sid and she's like well, jr? Well, why would we need you when we can just get the patent? Why would we need you? She's like well, you need my business detriment, which is true. And then she's like aren't you worried about it being dirty? He's like not really. She asked him well, why would you care? Don't you sell oil? Would you really want cars that don't use oil? He says it doesn't really matter, I don't care if you're burning oil or avoiding it, I'm gonna get paid either way. I'm a businessman. Plus, he probably knows that oil isn't like everything, so people aren't. I mean, he's not gonna lose money either way. But the long and short of it is that Sid does not want to do it. It's not just the fact that he would be selling his invention. He doesn't want to get back into the business of being someone's employee. He's been working for himself all this time. He's not answering anybody, so why would he change it up? Totally agree.

Speaker 1:

But Abby is listening to this and she's considering how lucid it is and she's like hmm, I think I could probably help you out. So at the end of the dinner it's basically a big fat. No, but thank you for the meal, not going to think about it, it's not happening. So Abby meets with JR a little bit later on to discuss the engine plans are in the back of his limousine, and she's like hey, you know, gary and I have access to those plans. Jr, being a Ewing and knowing his little brother, is like okay, I know you have access, but Gary's not going to go for that. This is not Gary's style. She's like but it could be. And he's like well, what do you really want? She basically lays it out I want your brother, I want to see him succeed. I think this could help him succeed and I want you to help me get him. So I'm going to work on him. See, if we can't make a copy, at the very least, of those plans, get them to you. I'll work on Gary, gary will work on Sid, it'll all work out perfectly. Jr is like I mean, if you want to go for it, I'm not going to turn on nothing but my collar. You could definitely try. I just don't think it's going to work out. It's odd to me that she wants Gary, though, because I keep thinking about this.

Speaker 1:

Abby does not seem like someone who would sit around and pine for anyone. I don't know what it is about him. That's all that interesting. I just don't buy it. But this doesn't stop the plan from rolling into effect.

Speaker 1:

It's pretty interesting at this point that everyone suddenly knows everything about this engine. Karenaren, it's piqued her interest because if jr is traveling from texas to purchase it, there must be something to it. She feels a little guilty. So she stops by the dealership to take sid to lunch. That's what I heard. He's like oh my gosh, I've never been so interested in the engine. He starts telling her this well, the computer does. I'm gonna tell you something I know for sure. Like I can tell if somebody can braid, like you can tell if somebody's a good cook, sid is no computer programmer. He starts boring her to tears, tears within moments. And he's like you know what? Screw this. Just go in my office. The plans are right behind my desk on the bookshelf. You can look over them and I'll answer any questions you have. She's like you know what that.

Speaker 1:

So she goes into his office and, sure enough, she sits at his desk, which is kind of covered with a lot of things. You can tell immediately that Sid is one of those people, a little bit like myself, where maybe everything is not in its aesthetically pleasing place, but it's where you know it should be. It flows for him. But she's looking through everything and she can't find these daggone plans. So she gives up and she starts to leave and as she goes outside she notices that Abby pulls up in that big old Texas limousine, meaning that Abby has been with JR in the afternoon.

Speaker 1:

Now Abity pops out with this long cylinder that you carry sort of plans in. But Karen does not really think about it at the moment. She's like, yeah, girl, how you doing? Who you with, why are you doing all these things? I think we need to recognize that Karen is carrying the biggest burden of the season. She knows everybody's secret. Her not being at work all day affords a certain amount of quote unquote free time. I'm not going to disrespect a homemaker, because I know how hard that is. Homemaking is the hardest job you will ever, ever, ever do. It is free. You are doing it 24 hours a day, seven days a week. So I'm not going to pretend like she's just being a busybody. But her not being tied to anything else has afforded her a certain amount of information that she might not ever have. Abby's like blah, blah, blah I haven't seen anything. Karen moves on, but here's the tea.

Speaker 1:

Abby is working on Gary as far as Sid is concerned, so the way she plays it is like this hey, sid is so trusting, he's such a freaking Sunday school teacher. He's going to talk about this engine so much that someone is eventually just going to collect enough information from him and patent it himself. Shouldn't we patent it for him? I mean, it would be protecting him. We should go ahead and do it before he has an opportunity to to play himself. Now Gary hears this and I don't know if it's part of the guilt he's feeling or what, but he's like you know, you're making a lot of sense. I'll work on it tonight. I'll go over to his house tonight and talk about it. He does that very thing.

Speaker 1:

Gary goes over to Sid and Karen's house and he starts talking about the patent. If nothing else, if you have the patent, everyone else has to come to you after that point. If not, someone else can do it and then you're screwed. You're inevitably screwed. Sid's like no way, no, how, I don't want anything to do with this. Gary was like you know what? I hear you out there. I'm gonna respect it. I wash my hands on it now, before all this happens.

Speaker 1:

Karen is just really concerned. It just it does not. It doesn't leave her. She can't shake the feeling that something is amiss because, um, she goes home after she sees Abby and then she, she ends up talking to Sid a little later that afternoon. She's like you know, I just couldn't find the daggone plans. Are you sure they're there? He turns in his desk and sure enough, they're there. Well, that's because Abby goes upstairs. She removes them from the cylinder and puts them back where they belong. So once Karen hears that they're suddenly there, she knows that she did her due diligence. She knows there's no way she would have missed those. She knows what an engine looks like on paper. So now she's like okay, abby came through with that little cylinder and she talks to Sid about it. He's a little bit offended, like god dang it. Why don't you, why do you always accuse my sister of something? Yes, she always accuses her of something, but guess what? She's always doing something. So it weighs on Sid's mind, clearly, and he decides to go over to Abby's house.

Speaker 1:

Now Abby's plant game is completely unmatched. I just want to throw that out there and we'll talk about Jeff here in a second. But, um, he asked her about it. He's like yo, you know, do you know anything about my, my plans? Karen said she showed up and she saw you with this, that and the third. And Abby's like well, I mean, no, I know, I knew how. I knew Karen felt that way about me. I didn't know you did. I don't know the single thing about engines. Even if I did, like what could I talk about? I know as much about engines as I do about cooking. We're gonna have a whole master class on Abby. Okay, I think the bad girls club needs a new president. I hate to move over, alexis, but listen, abby is not playing with your moves.

Speaker 1:

So he feels all guilty and he starts to leave the house. But then he notices this orange cylinder and he's like well, what is this? She goes oh God, I didn't want you to see it. She cracks open this cylinder and when I tell you I thought she was busted, silly me. She pulls out this hideous painting and I do mean hideous like she probably did it herself. It's a two people rollers, three people rollers. Skating is hideous. But when Sid sees it, he says he sees him and his children. Oh my god, it's so beautiful. She goes. I know I just wanted to get it. It's for you, it's for your office. I was gonna get it framed. I didn't want you to see it. So he's like oh my god, abs, abs, thank you, I feel so bad. He goes home.

Speaker 1:

And just so that the audience doesn't forget, there's more than one sex symbol on this show. He does this whole scene chest naked, removes his top and he's like Karen, you're tripping. How dare you? I'm so embarrassed. His New York accent comes out and forgive me if you're New Yorkers who are listening, I'm making fun of him, not New York, please understand. How dare you? I'm so embarrassed. You made me embarrass myself in front of my sister. Karen's like oh my god, for real, really, really, yeah, I'm so humiliated. I question my sister. She's like oh, okay, well, I'm still questioning your sister, but she keeps it to herself. Not one to be outdone.

Speaker 1:

Gary Ewing in the next scene tells Val what a fool Sid is being for those engine plans. He does all this topless, in baby blue pants this time. He's already shown enough thigh. He's trying to be a respectable sex symbol. You're just gonna have to imagine what's below the waist. Okay, he's topless chest shaped, which is a little bit odd to me now that I think about it. Maybe he's just one of those people who didn't grow a lot of hair, but Sid is completely like gorilla chest. It's showing you I'm a man. I'm a man. And Care Bear is slightly groomed groomed as you could be in the 80s. I don't know, but he's telling Val about Sid being so stubborn. Dude, don't you want to protect yourself, which is a valid point. But Val's like listen, you've done all you can do. Just let bygones be bygones. If he gets played, that's him.

Speaker 1:

So the next day Abby shows up in Gary's office with I what I assume she thought would be some sort of peace offering. Not that there's any beat between them, but she drops the patent paperwork to him and explains that they need to get a patent license and then they need to set up these corporations and then they can sell the licensing. Blah, blah, blah. Let's do this. Gary's like no, and it sort of turns off Abby. This is the first time I've ever seen her scrunch her face up with him. I think she's a little bit put off. It annoys her at the very very least. Then he tries to give her back the paperwork but she just leaves it like, okay, screw you, Fine, you won't take it, fine, fine, fine, Gary. Now we got to talk about Jeff. We'll get back to abs here in a second.

Speaker 1:

But Jeff, abby's ex-husband, has been sprinkled throughout the last I don't know two or three episodes. He's popping up with the kids, he's bringing them home, so it's a little bit late. It's almost as if he just wants to make her uncomfortable. That's her mentality going into this. So he shows up at the top of the episode with this brand new Volkswagen Ninja Turtle van. I absolutely despise those vans. No shade to anybody who does it. They're just not that cute to me. They remind me of that. What's that circuit movie with number five? They all look like him and it bothers me a little bit. It's my whole disdain of the 80s. We're not even going to get into that right now. But just know he shows up super pumped.

Speaker 1:

Abby's like yo, jeff, why are you showing up at my house unannounced? I don't even trip. I just want to show the kids a new van. It is a camper van and much like today where van life is popular. He's showing the kids all the ins and outs. There is, there's this, there's a little burner here, we can extend the top. We could totally live in this. Now, she didn't hear all that but she's like okay, that's cute, he's just coming by. Plus, olivia has already explained that he does not have the emotional connection and the reassurance Seeing them every single day. He's going to do these things because he's insecure. Well, he's popping up all through this episode unannounced. So he shows up when the babysitter's supposed to be there to take the kids for a ride.

Speaker 1:

Abby comes home one day. After Gary drops her off, after she tries to convince him about the whole patent thing, she goes into her house and this is how I know her plant game is unmatched. She literally has 15, 16 house plants because her living room looks like a forest. Jeff has set it up. He's put an actual tent in the middle living room. He and the kids are having the time of their lives. They're cackling, they're rolling around, they're wrestling. You know she's like oh my god, it's so good to see you with the kids. He's like do you really mean that? She's like yeah, he's always dropping these little weird sentences. She feels weird about him.

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But, as I said a couple episodes back, doesn't matter what you think, it matters what you can prove. Saying something is is irrelevant and, as Victor Newman's younger understudy pointed out, you don't have to do everything. You think by. I'd say, three quarters of the way through this episode he shows up to the house to pick the kids up for his weekend. It just so happens that Valene, their surrogate mother, is home and their Aunt, karen, is home about the same time.

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They see this weird Ninja Turtle van and they come over hey, jeff, what you doing? How's it going? Everything's fine. He's talking really fast and they're peeking in the van, because I suppose in 1981 tinted windows weren't a thing. They're peeking in the van and they notice that it's like stacked, unusually stacked. You only need I mean, even if you're an overzealous packer five outfits for a two-day trip, but this looks like like a year's worth of clothing. So they're like well, where are you going? And he's oh, I'm going here, I'm going here. Yeah, abby knows everything. He's talking super fast. He jumps in the van, he drives off.

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Karen looks over to Val and she's like there was enough clothes in that for a year. Val said you know what girl? I was thinking the same thing. She's like there was enough clothes in that for a year. Val said you know what girl? I was thinking the same thing. She's like he's kidnapping them kids.

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Karen runs in the house and she calls the police. As they run into Abby's house, what they notice is that it has been ransacked. It looks like someone has robbed the place. There's clothes all over the place. The closets are empty. It looks a mess. So Karen's on the phone but she's not doing a very good job, using her words. She's like it's a mess, their house is a mess. I want to report her kidnapping. These kids are going with their dad and the police are like quit, playing on this phone, that's not a crime. They're with their dad. She's like yeah, but the house is a mess. He's like cool, I'll send somebody over there to clean them.

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She gets super pissed and she's like oh my god, I have to do something. So she knows that she saw Valene Oops, not Valene, she saw God. What is her name? Abby, with JR. So she's like let me go to the poshest hotel in North Landing and I will talk to her so she can get on the horn. So she goes to this hotel and through a series of events, she has to finesse her way. It might cost her two or three Andrew Jackson bills, but she finally gets the penthouse suite number. She goes up there and Abby has been in the penthouse making deals with JR. She's had enough of Sid's BS and she has made those copies. She's had enough of Gary's BS. She has worked out a deal between she and JR, a deal that involves a contract. We do not know the details of it at this time, but he now has the plans for this engine and Abby has a contract with him, as she says, because quote a girl must protect herself. So after they finish signing the contract, they go ahead and say you know what? We're already here, let's do a little afternoon delight.

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Abby is all game. She wants gary ewing, but you know what? Jr ewing is nothing to thumb your nose at. So they're in the middle of their boom, boom bang and all of a sudden you hear boom, boom bang on the door. Karen, jr, it's karen. He's like oh my god, what is this? I love this scene because they are in silk sheets. They're in like champagne color silk sheets. Is this the birth of where? That means? Sexy? Silk sheets are very impractical, if I might just say so myself. Human body sweats. They're not the most comfortable. They are very pretty for on screen, but practically ugh. Anyway, boom, boom, bang, bang, boom, boom, boom. Karen's like I'm looking for my sister in law.

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Eventually JR gets up and he puts on his robe. He goes to the door. He opens it. Karen comes in and she's like girl Abby, jeff just showed up with the kids. He has all this crap in his car. I think he's kidnapping your kids.

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Abby is unfazed. She's like he's been playing these mind games with me for the last two, three, four months. I'm not even gonna buy into it, it is. She's like he's been playing these mind games with me for the last two, three, four months. I'm not even gonna buy into it. It is what it is. He's just playing a stupid game and I wish you mind your business. So she leaves. Karen, walks over to JR and she's like yo, that's real cute. Whatever you're doing, I hope you're, I hope you're happy. He's like listen, I didn't make out well with your husband, but I sure made out well with your sister-in-law. She's like I bet you did. He's like I bet you can think that. She's like I know, I know it's kind of a weird scene, but it made me happy because JR is drinking, I'm assuming, what is brandy or scotch, some sort of dark liquor.

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And recently in my newsfeed there was an article with Patrick Duffy that did not give any spoilers away. If you guys don't know, patrick Duffy is Bobby Ewing and it talks about how he met JR and how he knew he met his best friend that day. But what they would actually do towards the end of a scene is that they would have one of the other guys on set, bring in two chilled glasses of tequila and they would drink the tequila. I'm sure they had more than one shot, because they opened the day with champagne and then they ended it with tequila. I have a very hard time believing they didn't drink anything between them. So this was would have been the. Would have been the last shot of the day for Knott's Landing. I'm positive JR has some tequila. But you know you can't help but just love the guy. I was all here for it. In scene he's smirking as he drinks the brandy and I just had this little warm feeling in my tummy knowing that he probably had two shots of Don Julio right before that. Oh my gosh, I literally left out the most important part this episode's namesake. Oh my gosh, I literally left out the most important part.

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This episode's namesake, olivia, has two more scenes that don't really make a big difference to the story, but they were humorous to me. Olivia is at school getting ready to be picked up. Valene shows up because it's Thursday and that's the day she always picks up the kids, and Karen shows up because Abby specifically asked her. This is right after Abby shows up with that little orange cylinder with the copies of the plans. So Karen's at the school, valene's at the school. To their surprise, jeff is at the school and they're like yo, what are you doing here? He goes oh, you know, abby, she's never gonna tell me anything with the kids, I just have to show up.

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So they they all kind of like well, baby girl comes out, leave you, and she's like I'm so mad. I'm so mad at Ada Bixby. She didn't invite me to her birthday party. You know what? Ada Bixby is a stupid baby. I love that because I remember how serious it was from first grade to probably at least 10th grade If someone didn't invite you to their party. It was so disrespectful. It is so disrespectful, you cannot be friends with them. You either have to decide to kiss their butt or they are persona non grata from then on, and it looked like Olivia had declared war. Forget Ada Bixby and all her stupidity. She also falls asleep at some point when her mother is showing Sid that hideous painting. She's supposed to be doing math, but she just passes out.

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And I love Olivia's energy throughout this entire episode because, quite frankly, you have to make a choice. You either participate or you don't. You can call someone a stupid baby or you can move on. And it seems like the adults in this show don't quite understand that quiet is kept. Abby could walk away from all of this foolishness, but she insists on not only entangling with JR, she's also made it known that she won Gary. We also know that Gary has taken money from JR, so it's just like it's just such a messy little web. Karen would love to walk away, but I mean, how do you do that when you know you're a little you're? You feel like somebody's playing your husband. She has to jump in. She has to do something to thwart that off.

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Now, valene being the surrogate mother to these kids is still very, very unusual, because there's no reason why, abby. You would think if Abby was afraid of the kids being taken away from her because of custody, that she would change her attitude. But she hasn't. I am absolutely fascinated by this woman, but but at the end of the day, if things don't go your way, you got to eventually say you know what? You're a stupid baby. You are so immature. I will not tolerate this foolishness in my existence. Shout out to baby Olivia for calling Ada Bixby a complete and total fool for not inviting you to her birthday party. Be a complete and total fool for not inviting you to her birthday party.

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Can you imagine she wanted to show up to the birthday party with corn, with cornrows, which I believe. You have to listen. Cornrows. You have to go with the shape of your head. If you got a big old water head, you got to go straight back. You cannot draw emphasis to the side of your mind and start looking like Squidworth from SpongeBob. You got to do the right thing. Okay, last thing, last thing, last thing. I still hate the 80s. However.

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There was a scene where Valene and Karen come bursting into Abby's house and in the background they're looking at all the mess. There's clothes all over the floor. The closet doors are burst open, they're empty, they're barren, like oh my God, he's getting up the kid and I'm like, oh my god, is that a quilted plant? Yes, abby has this sort of. I only know it is like an elephant ear plant, big leaf plant. But it's not. It's a faux plant. It's not just a soap plant, it's not just a plastic plant. It is a plant that has been fashioned from quilted. I can tell it's that windbreaker type of material. It is quilted and it is like a cream color. Please. I looked high and low. Anybody knows where I can find that. Please text me the link. I need it. I need it in my life. What am I going to do with a quilted plant? I don't know, but I need it. All right, guys. That's it, that's all.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for joining me on the season finale Eve. Last episode is coming up next and I cannot wait to jump into this. I am with Karen. There's no way in hell that those kids were not 100% kidnapped. Based on Jeff's activity before that, I think it's all going to come to a head. I can't wait. In the meantime, in between time when you're stealing super secret plans, keep a hideous print on deck. It will pay dividends, baby. You can get yourself out of a tight spot every time with that hideous print disguised as a gift. Also, if anyone knows where I can find a quilted cream plant, text me in a show note stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business and keep all of your drama on tv. Thank you, bye.