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Soaplore
Ever wondered what you missed out on before the golden age of streaming? Welcome to Soaplore, the podcast where we dive headfirst into the wonderfully over-the-top world of vintage soap operas from the 80s and 90s. I’m Jett, a TV-loving Millennial who’s finally escaping the monotony of modern shows and embracing the drama, the shoulder pads, and the catfights of yesteryear.
Join me as I experience the soapy sagas of "Dynasty," "Dallas," "Falcon Crest," and "Knots Landing" for the first time, episode by episode. With over 200 shows, we’ll laugh, we’ll cry, and we’ll probably question our life choices—just like the characters do, but with slightly less fabulous wardrobes.
Whether you’re a Xillenial who grew up with these iconic series, a Millennial like me who missed out the first time around, or a new fan discovering the glorious chaos of primetime soaps, "Soaplore" is your time machine to the melodramatic past. Tune in, relive the magic, and let’s marvel together at how people ever survived without binge-watching.
Pour yourself a glass of something strong, because, trust me, you’ll need it. This isn’t just nostalgia; this is Soaplore—where every episode is a rollercoaster of emotions, and nothing is ever as it seems.
Soaplore
S4 EP14 Falcon Crest - Suitable for Framing: The " Okie Doke Overload" Episode
What if a single decision could unravel the intricate web of family loyalty and deceit? Join me, as we journey through the rollercoaster of drama and suspense that defines "Falcon Crest" in season 4, episode 14, "Suitable for Framing." We explore the metaphorical and literal framing of characters like Chase and Melissa, whose precarious situations keep us on the edge of our seats.
The vineyards of Falcon Crest serve as the backdrop for this thrilling soap opera escapade, where past mysteries collide with present predicaments. Enter the tumultuous world of family feuds and business schemes, where clever tactics and dramatic entanglements keep us guessing.
Discover how characters slyly navigate personal and professional challenges, from uncovering clothing sizes for surprise events to keeping wives out of secret missions. The brewing tension over family inheritance takes center stage as Melissa and Lance clash over a dubious divorce agreement, while Angela fiercely defends the family’s wine prestige against Richard's ambitions for lower-quality products. The battle of high standards versus financial greed sets the stage for a captivating tale of deception, rivalry, and power struggles.<br><br>As secrets, betrayal, and deception reach a fever pitch, the stakes are higher than ever. Maggie's mother's gambling crisis escalates, Pam returns with her own agenda, and high-grade spy bugs discovered in Richard's home fuel suspicion and intrigue. Meanwhile, Chase's dangerous European adventure results in shocking consequences, leading to a tense showdown back in Tuscany Valley. Angela's power plays are challenged, and a dramatic confrontation reveals the shifting alliances and power dynamics at play. This episode of "Falcon Crest" offers a thrilling blend of legacy, power, and personal relationships, leaving us eagerly anticipating what comes next in this saga of soap opera brilliance.
We love a good box wine. We might not admit it, but we love it. We love a cheap way to get schnockered with equipment. I'm your host, sarah Buhlman, and we'll be your one and only host. And today's news is so far, four years I have a fucking class.
Speaker 1:Season four, episode 14. So, whether you're new to this or new to this, if that can enjoy you. Tell the kids to go outside or out of the club, tell them no questions. If you have any more concerns for the next season, I'll be right back. Everyone else is on top of you. So I'm ready. Thank you in the year of our Lord, 1984.
Speaker 1:So this episode I'm doing a little bit differently. We're going to go back a couple years to where I'm just kind of watching it in real time. I've watched about half of this episode. It's called Suitable for Framing. That could mean many, many things.
Speaker 1:There's many people on this show to frame, but this, this gave me the um. It's time to kick it into fourth gear drive. I don't know. Fourth year is a real thing. Third year is probably a thing. You know what I'm saying. It's time to take it up a notch, if you will picture this. Have you ever had to plan a surprise. But there's a lot of that feeling on this episode. It's like, okay, I have the ability to make something happen, but I'm not really sure if it's the best plan of action. Chase is in a little bit of a pickle. Melissa is in a little bit of a pickle, which I love. Maggie, as far as I know, halfway through the show, she doesn't know. She, as far as I know, halfway through the show, she doesn't know, but it's going to her. Mother's gambling addiction is about to be exposed. This seems a little bit messy, and I'm here, for we are at episode 14, season four. It is time to stir the pot a little bit. So grab yourself something bubbly, bright or refreshing. If you're on a cleanse at the beginning of the year, do whatever you need to do to get you in the vintage soap opera state of mind.
Speaker 1:Season 4, episode 14, falcon Crest. Suitable for framing. It seems as though Falcon Crest has remembered that this is the Indiana Chase and the Vineyards of doom season. We're finally back on that sort of mysterious let's chase down the nazi thing and it starts with chase. Actually, he's not the beginning of the episode, but he is a central part of this one. He has to lie to Maggie to figure out how to get over to Europe without her wanting to go. Now, this is a complex situation.
Speaker 1:If you've ever had to plan a surprise party, or maybe you're helping someone out with an engagement, you need to figure out the ring size. It is a whole song and dance. I'm going to drop a little gems on y'all. Okay, I've done this more times in a little bit. If you ever need to figure out someone's size in clothing, what you do is say, okay, I'm having t-shirts made for blah, blah, blah, make up something. If it's almost Easter, I'm having Easter t-shirts made. If it's almost time for reunion, I'm having reunion shirts. You do that sort of thing so that you have the information that you can pass it back to the party who needs it.
Speaker 1:In a situation like this, though, it's like okay, I need to go to Europe to investigate a cartel that no one else knows about other than Richard and myself, and I need my wife, who's very smart, she's an investigative reporter to not want to come along. What do you say? Well, apparently, in Falcon Cries, you say the barrels with blah, blah, blah aren't working. I really need to get those before we start doing X, y, z. She wants to come. Obviously he's like oh no, honey, this isn't going to be much of a vacation. This is going to be such a drag, it's going to be so much work. Why don't you just stay here Plus your mommy's here? Why don stay here plus your mommy's here? Why don't you hang out with your mom? He's talking fast and he gets out of it, but Maggie knows that something is amiss. She knows for sure that there is something wrong. She can't quite put her finger on it and you know, maggie, maggie is not one to pry.
Speaker 1:Melissa shows up to Lance's office at the globe to return their wedding ring. She's like you know what, boo, this ain't really working for me. Coal feels like I should give it back to you so you can recycle, I guess, that shade, but it's cole shade. So who really cares? Because I mean, if you're comparing the apples to apples, lance is winning, winning, winning. And he goes okay, blah, blah, blah, cole might run falcon crest one day.
Speaker 1:Oh, by the way, baby girl, my grandma put me back in the world now. She didn't exclude you, but what she did was gave me this sort of this trust, so now I'm ahead of you. Everything went. While she's alive, she's gonna give me all her things and then there's probably not gonna be nothing left for you. Now melissa scoffs baby boy, I am the air to. Falcon cries. He's like you're not really the air if there's nothing left. It's like being the air to a storage facility that someone else cleaned out. I mean, you just have like four walls of tin. You're gonna have anything. I'm gonna have all the things. She starts, oh, okay. So angie wants to play dirty. I got, I got time today. Don't forget that my last name is a Gretty number two in the wine business in this valley. So what she does is she goes to Tuscany Downs, which is the new La Mirage or whatever. It is a peach pit, it is the max.
Speaker 1:She goes to Tuscany Downs and she bumps into Florida. Man, hey, hey, I know you, you're wonderful. Hey, uh, would you like to have a little drink with me? And Joel's like yeah, sure, oh, my god, I see all those bruises on your face. Lance really whooped your ass real good like. And Joel immediately knows what's up. Okay, little girl, yeah, yeah, maybe, maybe he got a few sucker punches in and what? What do you want? So listen, I know your type and, um, I can smell poverty really well, so I'd like to do you a solid. Why don't you do me a favor? And I'll do you a favor. He like what you talking about. She said well, you know, I don't really appreciate this bs divorce agreement that I was given by Lance. So if you help a sister out, maybe, you know, help me out with his grandma or him or him, I don't really care. Either way, I can make it worth your while. He's like oh really, okay, little girl, this seems scandalous, this seems very dirty. How about $25,000? She said listen, you make it stick. I'll give you 50 american doll hairs. And he's like well, listen, say less, I will figure it out.
Speaker 1:Among other people who want things just gone from their presence, angela is not dealing well with Richard's new third priority within Falcon Crest and she's doing whatever she can. She's like listen, we don't sell cheap jug wine, we don't sell table wine. You have to figure out something else. I'm not going to embarrass my family with this. Now the manimal, who is a new Philip, is sitting in on all this and he's listening to Richard. Richard's like fine, I don't care, you don't have to put Falcon Crest's name on it. But let's just put it out there, it's going to be great money. Ill na, na, na na. Angela's like get out of my face, you weirdo.
Speaker 1:So as he starts to leave, he wants to brag a little bit. This is a cardinal sin when you're dealing with an old lady, especially an old lady with money. The block many, many times she can handle you without blinking and he's like you see, my empire is spreading, angela, yours is kind of stagnant. I can't imagine why you wouldn't want my help, like I seem to be him in Tuscany Valley. I've only been here like 10 days and look at what I've done to get under his skin. She's like oh, you know what matter of? Lance didn't come home last night. I think he might have been banging your daughter, angie. Why? Why go there? Why was that the next thing out of your mouth? Because she's petty. That's why, Once Richard leaves, the manimal is like yo, I mean, I know I work for you, but this is not a bad idea.
Speaker 1:Table wine is cheap, it's quick. If there's no Falcon Crest name on it, why would you turn down this money? She's standing on business, she's standing on principle. I am the only person that fit to run Falcon Crest. I'll be damned if Douglas's bastard is going to take over my legacy. It ain't happening. She's willing to turn down money on principle and I realized you know I feel the same way. You gotta do what you gotta do. But I mean, hey, table wine, box wine is a big deal. They don't know this generation, but baby Joseph is a first millennial. We love a good box wine. We might not admit it, we love it. We love a cheap way to get schnockered with the quickness. But Angie is not having it. There will be no jug wine on her label on her time. You better believe that you can take that to the bank.
Speaker 1:On a more uncomfortable note, maggie's mom, charlotte, because Angela has introduced her to gambling again. You know she's come out of fresh out of rehab. Nobody knows that she's got that bug y'all. She's showing up at Tuscany Downs. She's running out of money and she goes and she asks Pam for a voucher. Now I don't really understand how this works, but I don't really know what that means. But context clues tells me that that means she's out of money. A voucher is like a coupon, maybe a get out of jail free card. But because she knows Richard, that's my thing. I can't tell if she's asking for a voucher because it is normal practice or if she's asking for a voucher because she knows the owner. It seems like she knows the owner. I don't really understand the gambling thing. It is what it is.
Speaker 1:So Pam does not embarrass her. She's like of course she takes him over to Richard. Richard's like okay, well, a couple hundred dollars do, that's more than enough, babe. Thank you so much. And then Pam and Richard talk privately Like okay, is this on the house? What do we do? And he's like listen, it's fine, I'm gonna let it ride, but I do need to tell Maggie about it. Now, when he does tell Maggie about it, he is discreet, which I appreciate. There's no reason to embarrass this woman. She is a lovely woman. So what if she has a little bit of a gambling problem? She's not harming anyone, she's not harming herself, but it's just like. I respect that. Richard wanted to make Maggie aware of the situation. So Maggie reads the situation, not like my God, you have a gambling problem. She's like mom, if you need money, ask me and she can say that, because they have inherited over $5 million from Jacqueline I had forgotten that which is probably like four times as much in 1980. All is well, but then we see Chase in Europe. Now the whole rundown is that Chase needs to find out who the cartel is, and he's doing it with his eccentric friend Ben.
Speaker 1:Now, back at Falcon Crest, angie comes bursting into the winehouse. Let Cole know that this whole beer champagne operation that she has hated from the beginning is over. Cole said you know, you can take it over with my daddy when he comes back from Europe. She goes no, no, no, I ain't going to take it over with your daddy. What I'm going to do is get the sheriff and 50-11 of his people down here to boot y'all out. And Cole's like bet, guess what. I'm going to tell Melissa to bring me a sleeping bag. I'm going to sleep here. There will be no riffraffery on my watch, you, daddy or no? She's like do what you gotta do now.
Speaker 1:Maggie, for the first time that I remember, wants to knock if you buck, if you will. She comes into angela's office a little later in the episode and she's like what you're not gonna do is disrespect my baby. I just found out that my only son is sleeping on the floor of a wine house because you are intimidating him. Who do you think you're talking to? Angie, as happenstance would happen, richard happens to be there discussing whatever it is about the champagne that he needs to talk about. So Maggie's going off and she's like my husband is on business in Europe handling your business. How dare you stab him in the back? Angie's like listen, I don't know what he told you, you, but ain't no falcon crest business in Europe, baby, we are on American soil, we're handling it here. So she's a little bit embarrassed. She has storm out. Richard feels away because he and Maggie seem to be very good friends. So now Maggie's suspicions about Chase are confirmed. But lucky for us, he's not wasting time, he's not pussyfitting over in europe, he's actually handling business.
Speaker 1:The first item of business he and ben go to the convent and they speak to a nurse. Now the old nurse nurse excuse me, nun who gave all the information about richard and his birthright and all the blah, blah, blah. She has gone on to glory. She is no longer with us, but her home girl is still alive and she's like I never heard of no richard tanning chase like well, maybe you've heard of my mother, jacqueline. I don't want to talk about her. The nun is not having it. She don't want to talk anything about that. So they go into the whole denote thing who richard is and they need to find out who johan reedman is. She said I don't know who that is, I'm not gonna help you. I need y'all to leave. I need y'all to get out of my face. I don't want to talk about this. So Chase and fun fun friend Ben get up and they leave and to my surprise I'm like damn the nerd. The nun was like not having it. She don't know who this is.
Speaker 1:It's worth mentioning that this nun is significantly younger than the original nun, not that that doesn't mean anything. Everybody has a work bff. Some of my best bffs are in there. They're knocking on 70 now. We had the. I'm telling y'all, we had a time shout out to my girl, blanche and dorothy, not of the golden girls, but just just wonderful women that I got a lot of insight in when I was like 20. It was amazing. I love them so much, still talk to them to this day.
Speaker 1:So it's not unusual that young nun is like oh you know, that was my home girl, but I don't know. These people turns out she really does. Maybe she does, I don't know if she does or doesn't, but when chase and ben leave, tell me why spirits comes popping out of the closet. He has gone on and he has intimidated this woman. He is on his due diligence and it is brought to my attention one more time. I had totally forgotten about this after reedman blew up his father in the car. No one knows that the original reedman had a son, so they're they're sort of chasing a ghost until someone puts two and two together. Very interesting, very wonderful writing, because I don't know how that's going to be exposed.
Speaker 1:I would imagine that he and richard were in the same. Oh, my god, do you think? Whoa? I just had a thought. Do you think that richard and he are brother and sister? Brother and brother? Maybe they shared the same orphanage? That seems like that would be a thing. Anyway, the nun is mum. She don't want to talk about nothing.
Speaker 1:So Ben has arranged a meeting with this lady named Lydia Boulanger Boulanger, and all she talks about is the whole cartel. She's like listen, I know richard. Basically he was heir apparent of the cartel, but he left the cartel a couple years ago. He didn't want anything to do with it. I know there was this whole plane crash and chase like yeah, yeah, I know about that plane crash, you know. Did you know I was the one flying the plane? No, I didn't know that, yeah, yeah. Well, she's like well, the cartel, sabotage, sabotage. Oh my gosh, sabotage, sabotage. That flight wasn't Richard, it was them. They're trying to get at him.
Speaker 1:So now Chase is feeling a little bit protective, like dang this is my half brother seems like he's not doing these things on purpose. It seems like he has this attack on him. He has a target on his back for no reason. I'm gonna get to the bottom of this. We need to find this Johan person and put all of this to bed. Boy oh boy. I am so glad that I watched this episode in this order, because this one was jam-packed. I was not expecting a full-on 17. I gasped so many times out loud on this episode, but let's jump back into it.
Speaker 1:Okay, side note little sprinkle, sprinkle of information. Maggie's mom has a problem. She's going to pawn some jewelry so that she can continue to gamble. But, uh, pam, richard's ex-lover, new lover. That's the thing. They're not really talking about it. But if perspective is true, to me it seems like they're back together, but nobody's saying anything about it. She's still just as loyal as possible because she, she understands she has a checkered past. She can't really have another job as far as she knows. But uh, she is the head of security and as head of security she has found several bugs. She's like you're rich.
Speaker 1:She comes up to him and she goes dude. She drops a couple things on the table. I found these in your house, baby. This is a mess. These are government grade. I know spying. These are the creme de la creme of the spy software.
Speaker 1:So he's like what the f? Actually like? I need you to keep working on this so that this happens now, while they're having this very deep discussion about why he's being spied upon. He's like why is everybody watching me? I ain't doing that, I don't mind, I mind my business. I wake up, try to sell cheap bottle table wine, I try to make a move at you. You know I try to sleep with older women. I sell, I gamble on racehorses, and then I go home and go to bed. Why is anybody looking at me? She's like I don't know, I don't know rich. But as they're talking about this, maggie's mom comes up and she's like yo rich, can I get another voucher and he stands on business. He's like it was, it was an exception, the first time, I can't do it anymore. She's like, don't worry about it.
Speaker 1:Goes to a pawn shop which is apparently overflowing with business because of the racetrack. The gamblers are coming in and I don't know if it's good for business, seems like. If I am a pawn shop and people are only selling me things, maybe it's not great business, but whatever, that's that. On that I want to talk about what's going on in Europe. So meanwhile in Geneva, chase is on one. He and Ben come up with this master plan that they're gonna bum rush this guy named Weller because he has the information. So Chase runs up on him in his McGruff the Crime Dog outfit and he punches the dude in the face. So people like he's pulled away. But while he's being pulled away, ben comes in and he pulls Weller away so they can have some sort of conversation.
Speaker 1:Well, you remember Pretty Girl Lydia. Lydia comes to Chase a little later on. I guess the plan was that ben was going to meet chase at this restaurant in geneva and pretty girl lydia. I mentioned pretty girl because it feels like there's a little bit of a vibe as I watched this particular scene. She comes and she informs chase that ben is dead. Ben is dead and so is Wheeler, and they embrace and they hug and it's just a little bit too long. You know what I'm saying. It's lingering, it's a little too much. I feel like something's going on and she's pretty. So Chase is like well crap, let me get my butt back to the US of A with the quickness so that I too don't befall the same fate as my dearest friend Ben.
Speaker 1:Luckily, chase arrives in the US of A right about the time that Angela brings in the sheriff to kick Cole and Melissa, who've been sleeping in the wine house, out and all of their champagne equipment. She comes in with Sheriff, who is recovering quite well I'm glad to see him on his own, two feet after his little surgery from cousin Michael and he's like dude. Let me just be real. Let the record reflect that I don't really give a damn about wine or champagne. I don't really want to do this, chase, uh, cole, but she has an order. The judge signed it. I have to execute the duties of my position.
Speaker 1:Unfortunately, it means kicking you and your girl out and all of y'all champagne making equipment now, right about this time, maggie and Chase shows up. He's still in his McGruff the crime dog outfit and Maggie has borrowed something from Pam. She is in her Carmen San Diego realness, but she's also a wink and a nod at Crystal, so it is a white and cream ensemble. With the hair tucked under the hat. She is coming in to solve a mystery. Angela, back away from my son and Angie's like oh my god, girl, here you go. God, these new broads think they're so cute. So there's a little bit of a conversation.
Speaker 1:Then chase pulls angie aside. He's like okay, I mean, yeah, you can shut me down if you'd like, but I want you to know let the record reflect that my future slutty daughter-in-law has sold me her whole harvest and I know that falcon grass can't survive without the agretti harvest. That's right, because even if agretti is number two, they're still number one when it comes to product. She needs that product in order to keep up with the demand. So all of a sudden, angie's like you know what baby? No, no, no, there ain't no problem here. What problem? Oh my god, no, no, I'm not shutting you down, I was just. You know, sheriff needed something to do today, don't worry about it. Yeah, we're back in business, don't worry about it. Chase is like well, I mean, I mean Angie, baby, let me let you, let you know that if I need to go into a business by myself, I can, because my future daughter-in-law, my grandson's mama, has sold me her whole thing. It's a thing. So I mean, whatever you want to do, we can do. Baby Angie relents, but I imagine this is a short lived surrender.
Speaker 1:Okay, let's get back to one of the most more interesting things that happened this season, this episode, specifically Joel's master plan. So Marissa, marissa, melissa has already solicited Joel to take out either Lance or to take out Angela. So he devises a plan. He calls up Lance at the Globe and he says hey, I have some really juicy information on Richard Channing. Meet me at this abandoned gas station on XYXY. Blah, blah, blah. Lance is like bet, I'll be there. So Lance shows up and there is a beautiful black gentleman. I mentioned that because back in 1984 in it, that's just not what's happening. Black gentleman comes out, he's bald, he's in a sweater set. So immediately I'm like this is not your thing. Mr sweater set says, hey, come in here, I'll rob you, blah, blah, blah. But he basically puts lance inside of this abandoned gas station. He locks it up. Joel comes around the corner and he's like, okay, great, I'm gonna take lance's car now and handle some business.
Speaker 1:So the business is Angela is on her way to something like the Daughters of the Alamo, but for wine, so let's call it the wine sisters meeting. She is the president and founding member. She's on her way in her little yellow Mercedes Benz. Joel is driving Lance's red little coupe and he's following her. He almost runs her off the road. I can't tell if this was a plan or if this just happened, but it seems like it just sort of happened. The plan seems to me like it was going to be to run her off of the road and kill her, but what had happened was the sheriffs were already in town for whatever reason, possibly because they were raiding the wine house or whatever. So Joel does not get to fully run Angela off the road, but it looks like. It looks like he tried to. He obviously did, but they don't know that it's Joel the Florida man. They think it is Lance the California kickboxing man.
Speaker 1:So, lance, let me just tell you what, as far as hostages go, he is a dream come true, he is not making a fuss, he's not screaming, he's not trying to break through, he's not trying to break windows. He's minding his own business in the abandoned gas station until he is released. Once he's released, he drops in his little two-seater and he does what other rich people do he drives to a payphone and he calls the police. He is so privileged that he is not even clocking the fact that he is being surrounded by policemen. He hears the sirens, he hears all that, he continues his phone call and then he casually walks to his little two-seater when the sheriff pops out and he's like oh great, I was just calling you guys. Um, he's about to tell them what happened to him and they're like you're under arrest for the attempted murder of angela channing.
Speaker 1:Now, those of us who live in the real world understand that you cannot. Somebody may be driving badly or driving poorly does not equal attempted murder, but in primetime soap opera land it does. Bringing us back to the title of this episode lance was framed. Honest to god, I didn't even really think about what the title meant. But yeah, they're framing lance, and I enjoy these episodes so much more when I know that he was probably coked out of his mind as he films this. But you know, whatever works, not condoning drug use, but I mean either I'm not going to. It is what it is. All right, party people, thank you for joining me today.
Speaker 1:I think this is a good place to stop right now. There is so much, so many things that happened during this episode. Melissa formulated a plan to get herself back into Angela's will. But I mean, it's like if you take out Angela, lance gets everything right away. If you take out Lance, then she is left without an heir apparent, which is a better plan. We'll see how this turns out.
Speaker 1:Joel, the Florida man, at least at this point, understands at least one person in the valley understands that he is a scumbag who is using Terry. Now, melissa doesn't know everything, but she seems to do her homework. She might just find out a little bit more. Chase is in a little bit of a pickle because he can't make up any excuses and he's always explaining to his wife why he went to Europe. But his homeboy, ben is, as far as we know, dead Now. I didn't see nobody. I didn't see anything that led me to believe that he might actually be dead. But we'll have to see how that turns out, we didn't hear from Julia at all this episode. Yeah, now that I say that out loud, I'm not really sure what her role would be in this episode. I can't imagine what else she can do if people feels like she's dead, but I'm curious to find out, because Falcon Grass has stellar writers. All right, guys, that's it, that's all.
Speaker 1:Join me next time as we jump into a double scoop of Dallas. Let's get down to the mid-degree. Is JR going to take on everything? It seems like it, because Bobby seems to be saving fast In the meantime. In between, do not take a number from a number TMZ type. You don't know what I'm talking about. I'm not going to say it from a non-History DMV type. And nine times on a chair. I'm not going to say it from a non-History DMV type. I'm not going to say it from a non-History DMV type. I'm not going to say it from a non-History DMV type. I'm not going to say it from. Thank you, bye.