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Bonus- A little more Lore- I Still Hate the 80's but....... Do I Hate An 80's Dance Flick????

• Jett Shae • Episode 260

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Soap Lord Reviews 1980s Dancing Movie

Speaker 1

I have a lover and you know that I'm a dirty mother . It's true . Talk it's . Who do you think you are ? I'm gonna stop you like an animal and beat you like a cannibal and make your body pay . I'm a seven son . I'm a seven one gathering place where newbies , novices and OGorg fans are the golden age of primetime . I'm your host , jet , diving into a special treat today . I'm your host , jet , diving into a special treat .

Speaker 1

Today , instead of our usual sudsy episodes , we're reviewing a surprise film from the 1980s starring one of our beloved vintage primetime soap opera stars . So , whether you're new to this or true to this , sit back and enjoy . Tell the kids it's time to play outside or out of sight . Tell they have no questions , suggestions or concerns for the next 25 to 35 minutes . Everyone else in earshot . Be cool , be quiet or be prepared to get kicked out because we are watching our stories . Ladies and gentlemen , boys and girls , this is Soap Lord , the bonus movie review episode . Hello , gorgeous episode , hello , gorgeous , welcome . Or welcome back to another blindfolded edition of soap lore .

Speaker 1

I . I don't know about you , but it's been intense . We are about a teaspoon of the way into season three of not slandering , and it's been real . We are about , you know , more than halfway through season three of Knott's Landing , and it's been real . We are about , you know , more than halfway through season four of Dynasty Dallas and Falcon Crest , and it's been even realer .

Speaker 1

I thought we would take a moment , let our senses catch up to themselves and remind ourselves . While we're doing this and I'm saying all this , are we , are we , what is this ? We still ? I still hate the 80s . Let there be no qualms about that . I despise the 80s . I still think it's a joke , even though it was born in that decade . But there , I can admit that watching these shows has softened me up to it . Now the nonce landing is still like 1981 , so I'm like that's still the 70s . There's something about that that I really enjoy . I think it comes down to me just like hating plastic or something I don't really know .

Speaker 1

But I decided let's expand our thought process . My biggest fear in life is that I will die a complete teetotal fool , and that's just not going to happen . I'm going to open my mind to new experiences . I'm going to challenge some of my qualms and some of my thoughts about things that I don't really understand . Why I feel the way I do , I just do , and I'm also going to respect my opinion in the process . So I had an idea .

Speaker 1

Several several months back , we eulogized Philip from Falcon Crest and I was shocked to find out that he had married Audrey Hepburn . Not only married her , but they had a whole baby . There's a whole Philip-Audrey hybrid running around Earth right now , and I was none the wiser . I'm like oh my God , there's so much more outside of these soap operas . Although they are magnetic and I think about them all the time , I'm enjoying every single episode , there's still a world outside of this . Now , as far as I can tell , it's no surprise when you have like a Jane Wyman or Barbara Bel Geddes . They are the old school Hollywood . They have gone from being on the silver screen to the television screen and I think that's a natural progression . There's nothing to snub your nose out at that , but it's not something you see a lot nowadays . So I decided on that particular episode . I'm like well , let me see what else you got going on for yourself . Maybe I will enjoy one of your films , maybe I'll enjoy one of your television films .

Speaker 1

Enter a surprise I didn't see coming . There's just no way I could have predicted one more time . I can't stand the 80s . Now I will admit . I can admit when I'm wrong . There are bangers . There are some wonderful things that came out of it . I love the movie mannequin . I love the movie break into electric boogaloo . There is some molly ringwald film . I definitely watched it in the 90s but I could tell it was made in the 80s and she's pregnant and she has , like this really hot boyfriend and they move into a studio and some I don't really know what it's called , but I remember thinking , oh my god , if I'm not careful I can be pregnant as a teenager and I'll have to live in this , this riffraffery , even though I really like the apartment that's neither here nor there . I thought to myself let's just dig that , let's see what else these people were doing in their stardom .

Speaker 1

As an elder millennial , one of the first people I think of a lot of times is the cast of Grey's Anatomy . It's just one of those things . I was watching it during college , I watched it after college and it's like I can remember Katherine Heigl doing the Chucky movie . I don't know if that's about the same time , but it seems like if she , she either started Chucky and then got Grey's Anatomy , or she was in the first two or three seasons of Grey's Anatomy and did the Chucky movie . But it's like it's so much fun for me to see those early films . I think I saw one time that Jennifer Aniston was in Leprechaun .

Speaker 1

These are the things I live for . I like to see actors earning their keep earning their money . You have to have a crappy job , in my personal opinion , to appreciate a good one . You have to work in customer service at the bottom , like as a busboy to really really appreciate people when they serve you at your table . It's just there's something about that going through the ringer . Maybe it's the millennial in me that believes you have to kind of struggle a little bit in order to appreciate the good thing . Why not take it to the extreme with our actors on these soap operas ? So I'm minding my business . I'm keeping this sort of running tab in my mind of okay , these are all major actors . Let me just look up some of their films . It's no surprise that the older actors , the ones from the golden age of Hollywood . Of course they have just some major hitters under their belt . But I stumbled upon something when looking at one of the newbies , aka one of the newbies in the 80s . It's no surprise it is none other than Lance Compson .

Speaker 1

I have talked at length about Lorenzo Lamas in his renegade era because I understand that I've seen it . But did mogul that he was a hip-hop um breakout star ? Did you know that he had a movie equivalent to break into electric boogaloo ? That is what we are enjoying today . Listen , okay , I'm not here to rain on anybody's parade .

Speaker 1

Yes , I give a tongue-in-cheek review of these people acting . It's no secret I don't think this is his finest work . I feel like what are we on season four of Falcon Crest ? Lorenzo Llamas was a new B when he started acting , but you know what he's earning his keep ? He's getting better and better . He's emoting a little bit more . But what I gather from watching him in the beginning of Falcon Cross and I've watched some interviews of him within the last year or two he's just not an overly expressive person . But you know what ? It don't really matter , because , a he's hot . B he's tall , tall , dark and handsome . And c there is this sort of simmering bone deep . No , it's not even bone deep , it is dna deep , bone marrow deep , confidence that he emotes . He might . He don't have to say a lot to convince you that he's confident . And , ladies and gentlemen , we all know that speaks volumes .

Speaker 1

But to my shock and a little bit of horror , I could not believe . I'm looking at films from all of the characters , every single one , on every single episode of every single show we've ever watched . I was floored to see that in 1984 , lorenzo the Llamas was like I'm going to be in a dance movie . Now , I had heard about this before . I remember when Caitlyn Jenner and her prime right after the decathlon was in like a dance film . So I'm like , was this just kind of a money grab ? Was this just a thing where people are in films because their star was rising ? But then I remembered , are in films because their star was rising ? But then I remembered no , no , no , no , no . Lorenzo Lomas was in Greece in 1978 , which is not that far back from 1984 . So is he this budding actor ? Is he this budding singer ? What is his deal ? Be prepared to find out Now .

Speaker 1

I have not watched the film at the time of this intro , but you better believe I'm going to sit my butt down , I'm going to watch it through and through and then I will come back and get my review . I need to say this one more time . I can't stand the 80s , and it's for reasons I don't fully understand . I've expressed that in several episodes , but I can always admit when I'm wrong . There are some bangers , there are some films .

Speaker 1

Coming to America is one of my favorite films . There's just there's a Madonna movie where she opens a cigarette case and just left this impression in front of me . I want it like a silver case . I hate smoking . I don't smoke , but I wanted it . There's ways to be influenced by a generation . I think I just don't understand it . And the deeper I get into my soaps , the more I start to like it . If I'm being honest , I was a little bit concerned about that . So I have pulled up the trailer for this movie and I'm going to be real with you . I said this is exactly what I'm talking about right here . This is all the things I hate . This is exactly what I'm talking about the neon , the over-the-top spray-painted clothes , everybody shucking and jiving . It seemed too much for me personally , but I have to swallow my pride Now . I have to swallow my pride because I already told you I enjoy the movie Breaking 2 Electric Boogaloo . I'm not sure .

Speaker 1

When I saw this I was conscious of it in the 90s . I'll never forget . I'm sitting in my aunt's house . My Gen X cousins are running around doing their chores . We're going to go to the next town over to go to the mall . I get you know , I'm too young to do chores . So I'm just kind of vibing in front of the TV and I had the biggest crush . What was it ? His name's like Ozone and something else . I thought he was the coolest . Now I look past the 80s garb because I'm like this um , that's not my favorite outfit , but he was fine , fine to me , both of them actually . I have the biggest crush on them . So I'm gonna rock into this with the same sort of open-mindedness that I allowed myself , at like five years old , to do back in the early 90s .

Speaker 1

I also got to say that I think every generation deserves their dance flicks . Right , you need teen movies , you need corny things to kind of catapult you into adulthood . And I'm not going to sit here and joke about that . I think it's fun , I think it's amazing and I'm really , really excited actually to watch this film . I don't think I'll like it because the 80s aesthetic , but I am pumped to watch it in my own time .

Speaker 1

I'm thinking of well , we have the dance parodies , we had dance movie , we had Step it Up . I'm going to count , bring it On . I know a lot of people don't , but it's a cheerleading movie , I'm going to count , bring it On . I'm going to to count , save the Last Dance . High school musical happens Like we all have to kind of contend with these things . Every generation deserves their sort of teen movie flick , and this seems to be that . So , without further ado , I'm going to stop my jaw jacking . We are going to enjoy or endure 1984's Body Rock starring Lorenzo Llamas , aka Lance Compson from Falcon Crest . Baby , I don't know how you I got it .

Speaker 1

Let's say you're talking to an alien and you're like , hey , we have these things called dance flicks , we have these dance movies that sort of capture the mood at a time , or at least try to induce the mood of a time . How would you explain that to an alien ? I don't think I can . So I'm gonna allow chester , aka chili d , to introduce himself to you . Chester , what kind of work would you like ? I would do basically anything . There must be some kind of work you want to take . Well , I wouldn't want to do anything too nasty , such as , such as . I wouldn't want to be a trash man or something like that . If you could do anything you wanted , what would that be ? Anything ? Sure , I would like to be like muhammad ali in his prime . Okay , you're like . Okay , what is that ? Ladies and gentlemen , this is Chester

"Body Rock Dance Crew Dreams Big"

Speaker 1

.

Speaker 1

Now , at the beginning of the film there is a lot of music and I believe there's a song called body rock . Body rock , blah , blah , blah , blah blah . And you see these teenagers , or young men at least , walking through town . They are shaking up paint cans . They're obviously going to be graffiti artists at some point during the day . They're just kind of cock-a-cock-a-cocking with each other and they go to , you know , they cross this crosswalk and they see this woman minding her own business , trying to get to work , and they all stop and do like pop locking dance moves to her Fully what I'd , I expect . I can't judge this . I can't say this is from the 80s , this is 80s , 90s , 2000 , 2024 . This is the same thing . I don't think any intro to any dance movie would be very different .

Speaker 1

We get to see the pop lockers , if you will . They are headed to um a bare piece of property , I assuming , so that they can graffiti it with their body rock company because they're a crew , they're a dance crew . They got to be that . Unfortunately for them , on today they are caught by the police and some of them are apprehended . Now , as luck would have it , as happenstance would have it , chester , who seems to be the leader of the crew , although he's the least talented , he is apprehended .

Speaker 1

He is taken down to the station and the interview you just heard is between he and some sort of social worker who's like hey , chester , chester , not a child , you know what ? What do you want to do with your life ? Surely you don't want to just paint on the side of buildings . What do you want to do with your life ? Surely you don't want to just paint on the side of buildings ? What do you want to do ? And that's when he gives you I want to be , oh , muhammad Ali , my prime now .

Speaker 1

This is prime time to , to , to notice that this kid has um . I don't know if his aspirations aren't great , but he's not great at vocalizing them , which is not a surprise for Lorenzo Lama circa 1984 . He's not an emoter . You got to work with him , you got to let him be him and let this be what it is . So Chester is in this crew . Excuse me , let me be , let me stop being disrespectful . His name is not Chester , that's his government name , that's a slave name . His name is Chili D , chili D , chili D the Chili D is part of the Body Rock crew and they like to dance and dance and boogie , woogie , all those sort of things . Now his dream is making it big . He has this sort of dream because he knows this other artist who has recently made it big and he used to be not necessarily from their crew , but he was affiliated .

Speaker 1

It is worth noting that chili d is dressed . I I guess it's a b-boyish , I don't know if it's , I don't know if it's hollywood , I don't know if it's real life , but he is open , chestacled . I can see all of his torso . He's got on a denim vest . He's got on something underneath it . It's definitely spray painted , and the social worker's like hey , chili , um , I'm . Do you always look like this when you go out for a job interview ? Do you usually dress the way you look today ? Absolutely , I like to look fresh , fresh , yeah , fresh . She's like boy . Bye , lord , have mercy . He clearly ain't finna get no nine to five job , but it doesn't matter , because chili has bigger things in hand . He has bigger thoughts in his mind , he has bigger dreams . He is a dancer and his crew needs to be famous because he understands this is a possibility because of this kid that he knows from the neighborhood .

Speaker 1

Chili's best friend in the whole world , easy , was also apprehended and easy's more concerned with his future because he's like my dad's going to kick me out if I don't find a real job . Chili wants to remind him that look a brazier or bizarre brizar . Brizar can come up , so can we . So Brizar is this very handsome young black man with an afro , cornrow mullet . I have never in my life seen anything like it . So imagine a jerry curl afro up . It's a mullet . Think of a mullet , right ? So you know business . In the front , party in the back , the business is a slightly , very lightly jerry-curled afro up top . Now the party in the back is the Stevie Wonder Hotter Than July cover album type of hairdo . This baby got an afro , he got braids and he got beads .

Speaker 1

As a little black girl , I understand that takes a lot of time to correct . It's magical . I've never in my life seen anything like it . It takes a lot of time to correct . It's magical . I've never in my life seen anything like it . So Easy's like yo . But Brazier or Bizarre has all these connections uptown . We don't have that . Chili's like , don't even worry about it . Leave that up to me . He formulates a plan to go up to an executive uptown so that he can invite him downtown to their little club and he can witness the body rock crew .

Speaker 1

Now you got to talk like this , this whole thing . Everybody is very edgy and very Lorenzo Lomas . Do I buy it ? I'm no , I don't , not really . But also he's so confident I'm like . I mean he must . He must clearly know what he's talking about and we get to understand that , because if he walks around the neighborhood it is very clear that he is respected . He walks right into their little club and he goes up to uh , a gang member , quote unquote with his arm , he's got on sunglasses , he doesn't speak , so I'm assuming he's a gang member and he's like yo . I'm just here to watch my little brother , but Chiladie is his homeboy . Now , this is exactly as I'm watching this like . This is exactly what I'm talking about . I can't blame the 80s for this . I can also blame the 90s .

Speaker 1

There was always this sort of influx of urban presentation to where it's as if these people who live in the United States can't understand you speaking , your normal day-to-day inflection and all that . They need you to pretend to shuck and drive so that you can understand them . It always pissed me off back in the day and in this film God , I'm almost embarrassed to admit this it's almost genuine , it's almost endearing . Easy and the rest of the crew . There's a guy named Snake , ricky Ricardo or Ozzy Rock . There is a little boy named Magic who needs to be in school , but he's outside dancing in the street . It's a whole thing . Is it any different than any one of the step ups ? It's not . I was humbled 10 minutes into this film , even though I'm like this is gonna be some craziness . Oh baby , oh baby . You have no idea .

Speaker 1

One of the identifying factors of a dance flick is that there's going to be dance breaks , not just one or two , there's going to be several , because dance is a language . In a film like this , dance is the other character . So if you need someone to understand who you are , even though you come from different worlds , you express that through movement , kinetic energy . You have to pop , lock and show them who you are . This is no different .

Speaker 1

So at 10 minutes into the film we see chili d enter , uh , the club . He tells who is the resident gang leader hey , what's up ? What's up ? Teddy ? Teddy's like I'm just here to see my brother . His brother is Magic . Magic spells magic with a J because he's ironic and I think they needed to differentiate between Magic Johnson , who was probably at his prime during circa 1984

Chili d'S Path to Success

Speaker 1

.

Speaker 1

So they enter the club and Chili D is an mc of sorts . You notice immediately he's not a dancer . His homeboy , easy , is the dancer , slash dj . But they get right to the dance break and , dare I say it , I was like , wow , this is one of the things that I enjoy the most dance and someone being able to sing really well , something . Any sort of artist who was able to convey their , their talent quickly and obviously is always going to be a star . I don't care if it's 1901 , I don't care if it's the year 2301 . People are always drawn to the talented . There is no doubt that these people in this film are extremely , extremely talented . Whether it's 1984 or it's 2024 , they are killing it .

Speaker 1

So there's this probably like eight minute dance break where we get to see these kids in the club and you finally understand . Okay , I see why Chile , chile , chile D is so cocky . His crew is the truth and it is his job as a leader of said crew to get them to that next level . He wants them to be like Afro mullet braid boy and he thinks they could be , you know , represented properly so long as they reach out to someone on that side . So if Berserk can make it , they can make it . It's also worth noting that as Chili D walks into the club , there's just random girls who already have boyfriends throwing themselves at them . He's kissing them in the mouth like he's Elvis or somebody . He is that dude . It's an emotion I can't let down . It's an expression you've got to shake . Some call it real , some call it fun . So as the music plays , the crowd goes wild . It is clear to him that yo , we've got it , we've got it made . We just got to get downtown and figure out how to get this legalized . So what they end up doing , chili and EZ , they end up going downtown and they start talking to this kid named Terrence . Now , terrence , as far as I can tell , it seems like he has some sort of affiliation with the streets . Maybe he was a B-boy back in the day , but he doesn't seem to be that now .

Speaker 1

Chili slithers his way into the office . He seduces the lady painting her nails at the front desk as a receptionist . She is not worried about being fired , she is not bothered in any way . He interrupts a meeting and Chili ends up taking him in and he's like hey , I see what you've done for Brazil , brazil , can you do that for me and my crew ? And Terrence is very , very quick to kind of just blow him off at first . So he blows him off . Chili tries to lock down a meeting . It's not really happening and Chili gets up to leave , only the phone rings . So he gets to overhear what Terrence is talking about . So Terrence is on the phone and here's the tea .

Speaker 1

Terrence has all these new nightclubs that need entertainment , they need dancers , they need DJs , they need all sorts of accoutrements at the clubs . And Chili hears this and he's like uh duh , I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth . So he sits back down and as Terrence turns around in his Dr Evil chair , he sees Chili and he's like what are you still doing here ? Chili's like yo , I got a whole thing , I can take care of everything you need . Come by my club in a couple of days and we'll let you see what's up now . Naturally , this is the birth of yet another dance break , but it's also the realization of Chili that Chili is like yo .

Speaker 1

I am in Body Rock Crew , I am the MC , I introduce all the people , but I really can't dance . So what he does is he reaches out to Magic Spell with a J and he's like Magic baby boy , I need you to help me become a b-boy , because otherwise I'm gonna embarrass myself when Terrence and his crew come down to our club . So there's this whole other sequence where Chili and Magic are dancing . Now Magic has his own spotlight . It's like a minute and a half and I'm embarrassed . To admit this is the first time I realized that they are in New York . I knew they were in some sort of urban setting . You really couldn't tell what it was . I was thinking they were in Chicago , but as I started to look around I'm like , oh my God , this is New York .

Speaker 1

So there's this huge crowd of people gathering around Magic who is no older than like eight , nine old . He is pop lock and he is not in school . He is not getting his education ? It is irrelevant . They're like yo , we need you , and . And magic charges one dollar for these , just immaculate performances . So his magic pop locks and drops it . He's like yo , chile , I need you to come over here and you can learn this from me , okay . So I'm gonna be very , very honest now .

Speaker 1

I am a person who happens to have rhythm . You can blame it on my heritage , you can blame it on I don't know what , but I happen to have rhythm . It's not hard for me to catch a beat and ride that beat on . Lorenzo Lomas seems like he has rhythm , but for whatever reason , he seems like he's lacking . I don't think . I don't think it's because he's untalented , not at all . I think it's because he is . He's , he's dancing with professionals , even though they maybe they're not getting the money professionals to get . These are street dancers who are just immaculate , like . I can't stress this enough . These people are incredibly talented and he just is not there . So I don't want to say that he sucks , but it's just like you just ain't them . That's all I can say .

Speaker 1

So there's this whole damn sequence where Magic with a J takes him all through the city . It takes him through the zoo , madagascar style , and he learns to dance , et cetera , et cetera . Only he , just he hit me . He does a moonwalk . I'm like that , amj , it doesn't . It's not that he's bad , it's just that he's not the best . Does that make sense to you that he's not the best ? Does that make sense to you ? He's not the best ? So it just it hits a little bit differently . For me , as someone who's born in in the early 80s , who's watched many , many dance films , it's just not the best .

Speaker 1

It doesn't really matter , because Chilly has invited Taryn and his crew to their club . Now , the name of the club escapes me . It doesn't matter , it's the Body Rock Crew at this club they always go to . I feel like it has something to do with Janet Jackson . So Rhythm Nation Rhythm , something like that , something like that . Anyway , terrence and his people show up and it is all dudes , it is total sausage fest and it's one girl , girl . So they show up to the club and I hate to admit it .

Speaker 1

This is the point in the film where I am fully invested , because it's like these kids are showing up , they're dancing , they are killing it , they're doing like neon skeletons , they're putting on a full show with no money , no , nothing . They're making the best of the situation and tarrant and his people come through . But here's the . They are a little bit intimidated by theo and his gang quote unquote who wear sunglasses inside the club and they only showed up because they wanted to watch magic . Who's the baby magic is no older than about seven , eight years old , so they put on this entire fantastic I can't even stress this enough fantastic show , only to realize about 75 through the show they realize that theo and his excuse me , terrence and his people have bounced . They have gone . So Chili , not one to be played because word he's on the street . Chili goes up to Terrence's office and he's like yo , wtf , why did you bounce in the middle of our extravaganza ? And Terrence is like I didn't really need to see much more . We want you Now .

Speaker 1

It is worth noting at this point in this movie , in this film , that Chili D , aka Chester Chester , the best dancer , is the worst person in Body Rock Crew . He cannot dance , he is not . He doesn't emote very much , but you know what he does do . He's a good emcee , even if I hate the mechanics and the linguistics of the 80s with the yo yo , yo , I'm chilly d coming to the place . You gonna see me , I'm dancing , I'm ready for you . Better by the body , better be poo . It's all that . You know what I'm saying ? This is exactly why I'm like . This is exactly why I hate you . I can't stand y'all because of this . It is so stupid . It is like you thought there was only one language that people spoke in the 1980s , and it's so infuriating . But that's what it is .

Speaker 1

But , for whatever reason , people find him , they're like no , no , no , no , no , you're him . We People find him . They're like no , no , no , no , no , you're him . We're going to make you the star of Body Rock Crew and this is very upsetting . So okay , so Terrence is this whole guy who seems to have some sort of a street affiliation , but he's only picking Chili D . So Chili D moves into this whole , he moves up . I mean , he's got a whole new apartment . He's living with no people , he's living with the artistic types . It's a whole thing . Now , on one hand , I can sort of get it if he is the manager of all of body rock , but ultimately he is not the talent , he is the guy who emcees everything . He does these whack , in my opinion . In my opinion , these whack raps that introduces everyone . But he's not that guy . He even had to pay . He had to pay the baby magic a dollar to teach him how to pop , lock and drop him . So what had happened was chili d starts to move up in the echelon of 80s superstars , circa 1984 , and he's like yo , I can do whatever .

Speaker 1

And this is what I'm talking about Lorenzo Llamas at this juncture in his career . He is not a thespian . He has been on tv for a little bit . His mother-in-law not his mother-in-law , what do they call his godmother is one of the stars of this prime time soap opera . He jumps in . He's gotten better by season three , but he ain't him . This is long before the renegade . This is , uh , quite long after he jumped on balcony cries . So it's like what do we think of him ? What do we do ? Whether , whether you love him or hate him , there is a star quality . I hate to admit this , but the truth is that there is something about a man who is confident , even if I know he's a liar . There is something about a confident man that represents well , and I feel like Lorenzo Llamas is the epitome of fake it till you make it . And damn me , he did his

Unexpected Enjoyment of 1980s Dance Movie

Speaker 1

thing on this .

Speaker 1

I'm embarrassed to admit this y'all by 45 minutes into the movie . I am fully invested . I forgot that this is supposed to be a gag . It's supposed to be a funny thing . I am fully invested . I want to know what's happening like . Oh my god , chili , are you gonna make this happen ? Are you gonna bring your crew ? Have you forgotten who you are ? I'm embarrassed to admit , I was seduced . It isn't that I just like a Lorenzo Llamas . I mean , god sue me , he's hot , he's 6'3 , he's tall , dark and handsome . He is confident . Obviously there's going to be something there , but there's something about this film that I'm ashamed to admit I really enjoyed . There's not a song that came on . There's not a breakdance break that happened that I didn't fully enjoy . I am ashamed to admit that this film had me hook , line and sinker 1984 . I'm so embarrassed .

Speaker 1

Now , this wouldn't be a proper dance flick without some sort of nemesis or some sort of enemy . Right , they need a crew to battle . Only this show doesn't have it , not really . What they do have is a little bit of a love triangle . So Chili D and his best friend , or one of his best friends , easy , are very close . Easy has a sister named Darlene , and Darlene is a good girl . She goes to work , she is beautiful , and Chili D mentions at the top of the film that she is looking fine . So he does the thing he needs to do to slide into her DMs her proverbial DMs and they start a little something . Only as his star starts to rise , once parents and the upper , the upper management guys are like no , you are the star , you have the star quality .

Speaker 1

He bumps into a lady named claire . Neclair is the only girl in a sausage fest . She's hanging around and and to me she seems high or just kind of out of it most of the film . Well , it don't take long for claire to invite chili d over to her upscale apartment . He really digs it . She's like yeah , I live in this building and it's nothing but artists . I just go crazy if I wasn't surrounded by artists and creative types . And he's like yeah , I know what you mean . She's like why can't I ask donald , see , if there's an apartment for you ? And Chili D is like you know what ? That sounds like a wonderful idea .

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And it would not be a dance flick if every kinetic encounter wasn't surrounded by beautiful music . So of course , every lovemaking scene in this film is to the soundtrack of the 80s , is to the soundtrack of the 80s . This is Chili D and Easy Sister , lovely right . And this is Chili D in Claire . I don't want to spoil anything for you , but it is beautifully choreographed . Also , how inappropriate is it to have a song called Sharpshooter during a lovemaking scene ? It is what it is . So , just know , chili starts to fill himself . Claire Thane's more and more interest in him . He even convinces her that she could be a dancer . Yeah , he teaches her how to break dance , how to be in the group . So some interesting things start to happen .

Speaker 1

About this point in the film , terrence is showing up . He's , he seems to be a very present manager and he says hell , so chilly , has anyone ever copyrighted the name body rock crew ? So he's like nah , nah , nah , we don't need to do that . Everybody's legit in our crew . Red flag number one . Claire wants to know all of his moves . Red flag number two . So it all comes to a head when chili d , who was , you know , he separated from the crew . The crew can't even get into the clubs that chili d is playing in . Now I need to say this one more time he is the least physically talented in the crew , but for whatever reason , he gets center stage at all these nightclubs In a performance I couldn't make up in my wildest fever dream . We get Lorenzo Lama's realness . We get redemption for not being cast as Danny Zuko .

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He is telling John Travolta to eat his freaking heart out . Listen to this majestic and enchanting rendition of Smooth Talk . Baby , I didn't know . Lorinda Lamas was a R&B sensation . Also , everybody's got to have a lover , and you know that I'm a dirty mother . It's no time . It's no time . I'm gonna stab you like an animal and beat you like a cannibal and make your body pay . I'm a seven , son of a seven one . That man said with a straight face I'm gonna stuff you like an animal , eat you like a cannibal . So you know what it is . It's already there . This , if nothing else , this is the magnum opus of the film . You need to watch this . If you don't watch anything else , watch this part . It is about 54 minutes into the film . You will not regret it . Now I don't want to take up too much more of your time . I just need you to know .

Speaker 1

Body Rock is an experience that we all need to kind of tap into and understand . I grew up watching Break into Electric Boogaloo . I had the biggest crush on Ozone and Turbo . I thought they were so cool and , if I think about it , I probably saw this movie in the early 90s . So it had been out for a little bit and if you're like a five-ish year old kid , it makes a lot of sense . It's actually a lot of fun to watch that sort of movie . Everything I hate about the 80s the clothes , the crunchiness , the sort of dialect I can't stand any of it . I loved every minute of it in this movie . If you don't do anything else , I need you to tap in and watch this just one time on a day where you're having a hard day , put it on and let it ride . I got to be honest .

Speaker 1

I already said Lorenzo Lumps . It's not that he's a bad dancer , but it's like you're dancing with professionals . You're going to look unprofessional . I think he has rhythm . I think he definitely has the sex appeal . He definitely has that sort of atmosphere about him and it's like the confidence . Even if you're doing something poorly , if you do with a lot of confidence , people are like okay , yeah , you got . It didn't hurt to be hot also . But when it comes to his singing and stuff . You heard it . Decide for yourself . It wasn't the best . Is he gonna chart ? Absolutely not , but is he gonna have drones and drones of fans showing up in Vegas to listen ? Yeah , I don't know what's wrong with me . I don't know what's going on here .

Speaker 1

I still think the 80s suck , but this movie was a lot of fun . I am so surprised that I liked it . I fully prepared to put it on , to like , make fun of him the entire film . But , like I said about halfway through , I'm fully invested . I think you should be too

Lorenzo Lamas' Body Rock Spectacle

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There's some things that happen . There's some things that unfold that you just have to see to believe . Last thing , last , just totally unbelievable thing Lorenzo Lamas , aka Lance Compson , aka Chili D , aka the Renegade , leaps from the rafters , does a spinning tuck and lands on his feet . Baby , I don't even know what else to say about it . You can watch Body Rock on YouTube . I watched it a couple of times for free 99 . I hope you jump in and do the same thing . Thank you for joining me today . We're going to jump back into our regularly scheduled program so we can power our way through season four of the big three . In the meantime , in between time , stay hydrated , stay moisturized , mind your own business , pay a dollar to learn to pop lock and drop it , and you too can be an 80s superstar , or at least a pop locking impresario . Enjoy your day and keep all of your drama on tv .