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S4 EP16 Falcon Crest: Insult and Injury - The "All Hail The Dude-Heir" Episode

• Jett Shae • Episode 261

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Welcome back Soap Fiends. Its Falcon Crest Friday!!!! What if the secrets of vintage primetime dramas could reveal insights into today's television phenomena? Journey back with us as we explore the gripping world of "Falcon Crest," where every episode is a labyrinth of intrigue, betrayal, and unexpected twists. From Chase's paranoia-fueled escapades to Lance's relentless battle to clear his name, we dissect the complexities that keep fans glued to their screens. 

The fan culture is just as fascinating, with after shows and watch parties paving the way for the community-driven engagements we see today.Our conversation doesn't stop there. We delve into the personal struggles of characters like Terry, whose attempts to redefine her "bad girl" persona lead to unexpected manipulations and wardrobe revelations. The drama intensifies with Angela's strategic maneuverings and Maggie's detective skills that could shift family dynamics. Meanwhile, unexpected alliances and suppressed desires add layers to Falcon Crest’s tumultuous narrative, showcasing a series rich in depth and dramatic flair. And because it wouldn't be a true nostalgic recap without it, we sprinkle in a touch of lightheartedness. From the humorous missteps in Chase's late-night kitchen adventures to the episode's refreshing suggestion of sparkling water mocktails, there's plenty to keep the mood lively and engaging. Fans also weigh in through lively fan mail, connecting us to the shared experiences and cherished memories that these classic shows inspire. Join us for a ride through the intricate web of soap opera drama with a pinch of bubbly nostalgia.

Speaker 1:

Don't say that that's none of your business. Did she say anything when you were sleeping with that old lady? Did she say anything when you were sleeping with Rockabilly Pam? Mind your business Then. Don't come in my pool house or at my pool worrying about what I do or don't do with my man.

Speaker 1:

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome or welcome back to Soap Lord, the official gathering place for newbies, novices and ot diehard fans of the golden age of primetime. I'm your host, jeff, viewing and reviewing one of the soapiest, studdiest primetime storylines of 1985. We are back on the west coast, in the vineyard of doom. It's a falcon crest frat. So, whether you're new to this or true to this, sit back and enjoy. Tell the kids it's time to play outside or, out of sight, tell babe no questions, suggestions or concerns in the next 25 to 35 minutes. Everyone else in earshot, cool, quiet or kicked out. Seriously, you don't want to be half at this juncture because we are watching our stories. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is Soap Lua. Hello, gorgeous. Welcome back to our keto for another fun-filled edition of snow. I hope you are settled and I hope you're ready to get back into the swing of things. We gotta catch up. I hope you're having a wonderful day as we jump into some vintage prime time debauchery. Don't have a little fun with some Falcon Crest Friday? Go ahead and grab yourself your favorite beverage while I tackle some fan mail and we explore season four, episode 16, insult and injury. You know the insult's gonna be good. The injury will be remains to be seen.

Speaker 1:

Wanna read a little bit of fan mail? If you are listening to this on your mobile device, you can text me. Let me go ahead and say this. It allows you to text me. I can't really see a lot of particulars, like. I can see the city and a couple of the numbers, but that's all the information and unfortunately it doesn't allow you to send pictures or anything else. So you can just send a text. If you want to send pictures or any other tidbits, you can also reach me at SoapLorePodcast at gmailcom. So Atlanta Georgia writes.

Speaker 1:

What was so poignant about episode two? I think we're talking. We're talking about Sid, we're talking about Knott's Landing, of course. What was so poignant about episode two was that we all took that walk down the hallway with Karen. I know I not only watched Knottts Landing when it was airing live, I also have a full set of DVDs of all the episodes and after shows. I've watched it several times in the decades since, on SoapNet and now on Amazon Prime.

Speaker 1:

That walk that we all took with her was a shining moment in TV. I couldn't agree more. I think that's a really excellent way to describe that moment. It wasn't just her. We were all in shock, we were all well. I'm speaking of now. I'm sure the people watching in real time felt the same way. We all felt the weight of what had just happened and just the shock, and you could feel everything with her. Brilliant. I could not agree with you more.

Speaker 1:

One of the most interesting things about what you just said, though, is that there's an after show. I thought an after show was a fairly new concept, but it would make sense. If the 80s has been called the golden age of primetime television, okay, that makes a lot of sense. I knew people had like watch parties, and obviously they were recording them and talking about it, but yeah, I love an after show. The first after show I remember is from the Hills. I'm not really sure I knew that there was anything like that out there before then, but this is awesome. If that's the case. I need to get my hands fully on that. I need to watch all of that.

Speaker 1:

Somebody in Dallas says Sparkling water Grow up. No, I'm joking. I understand, listen, I wasn't always a fan, but I don't know. Somewhere around 25 ish I just stopped liking. We call them Cokes. In Texas, everything is a Coke. I grew up calling everything Cokes, but soda pop, whatever you want to call it, it's not. I mean, it's fine with certain foods, but it's just like. I just can't do this every single day. So I kind of wanted to wean myself off of them and find something that was just as flavorful. Like juice wasn't quite hitting it for me because I felt that was for like, that was for children, but I didn't want like Coca-Cola, dr Pepper and all that. So I started drinking sparkling water and at first it was just like oh, this is hard to drink. But here's the thing you just got to push past that. This is my advice to you, dallas. I know you were joking, there's a JK on here, but go to the grocery store, Since you're in Dallas, go to HEB specifically, and get their regular degular sparkling water. Also get their lemon. One is really good. Grab that and just drink one can for like three days and I promise you by the third day you'll be like oh, this is good, I promise you it works.

Speaker 1:

Among the many things I'm discovering at my big age is that there is this whole world of mocktailery. People have whole mocktail parties where they just kind of create these concoctions and a lot of the bases are sparkling water. So if you have any of those simple serves you have like grenadine or anything like that, you can mix it up. People are doing crazy things. It's really good If you just want to, you know, have a more adult beverage, just something. Just something to take the edge off. It's fun, I like it. Okay, possibly one of the most shocking pieces of fan mail I ever received.

Speaker 1:

Florida wants to know what is my wine of choice. Now here's the thing, florida. I am not very versed in wine. Almost literally everything I know about wine I've probably learned from Falcon Crest. Actually, that's not true. I went to like a wine tasting party where these people I guess you can get a shipment of it at your house, they deliver it, but they have this wine party, and so the host had all these different cheeses and chocolates and the lady kind of walked us through what wine pairs with what, and we're all really really good.

Speaker 1:

I think I liked the sweet red for sure. I mean it tastes like grape juice. But as far as like the other ones, the more sophisticated ones, I don't know. I know what Pinot Grigio is and sometimes I use white wine to cook, but it's not really my thing, really my thing, like. I would prefer like a sparkling water, or maybe I'm a heat like a grown-up alcoholic drink, I guess if I'm gonna have one, I don't know. But I'd love to know y'all's, what is your favorite wine? Do you have a fit? Do you prefer wine over champagne? Do you prefer champagne over wine? You can send me a text via fan mail and I'll let the world know your thoughts. Last but not least, this is to my friend Jupiter.

Speaker 1:

Apparently they were able to go to the Knott's Landing cul-de-sac. Why am I today, years old, when I'm finding out there's? You are telling me, if I'm understanding this properly, that there's a real street where they really filmed all this. I figured, since this looks like it's shot in California, I'm sure Dallas is as well and Dynasty all of them are, but I'm assuming that they flew over a newer newish looking cul-de-sac and I thought that they, like the studio, bought land. Surely they do that. I figured they had a lot in the back and they just sort of built like these faux houses from the outside. To find out that this is a real deal is crazy. There's no way. Okay. So now I need to know where it's at. Now I want to go. I'm afraid to Google it because I don't want to hear any new information. But yeah, let me find out. There really isn't. That's crazy. So it begs the question where is the Falcon Crest Mansion really? And where is the Dynasty Mansion really?

Speaker 1:

Part of me believes the Dynasty Mansion is somewhere on the East Coast. There's just something about if it does not give me Colorado. I don't really know why I think the landscape in Denver there should be mountains everywhere. I don't really know why I think the landscape in Denver there should be mountains everywhere. I don't think you can walk outside of your house in Denver and not see a mountain. And as far as Falcon Crest, it's always been a little bit confusing to me, because at the beginning of the show or as they roll the opening credits, they do an aerial shot of Falcon Crest and what you see is like this old Victorian home which would be very sort of San Francisco, california-esque, but it's in a vineyard but there's like palm trees and then there's hills. That don't. I don't know. I'm not as familiar with wine country I just didn't think it would look quite like that. It could be. It could be somewhere in Northern California, I'm going to assume I don't know. Either way. It be, it could be somewhere in northern california. I'm gonna assume I don't know either way. It sounds like I have a little bit of homework to do.

Speaker 1:

I cannot believe you can go to knots landing. Is there? Now I feel dumb. Is there a knots landing? Is that a real place, surely not? Surely not? Anyway, that's enough jaw jacking. I'm about to embarrass myself if I keep talking.

Speaker 1:

Let's jump into season 4, episode 416 of of Falcon Crest Insult and Injury Dang. I'm a little bit stuck on that beverage of choice thing. Wine is always an option at restaurants. It's just never one I take a look at. Honestly, I look over the menu and I'm like this seems a little complicated. Let me just pick something. If I'm going to have an alcoholic beverage, it would definitely be something clear Like don't give me any blue hurricanes, I don't want anything. I don't want anything weird, I don't want anything that looks like cough medicine to me, just something sort of clear.

Speaker 1:

But as I say all this, I'm like man I. What I'm hearing is that I need to have more sophisticated outings. I need to have more sophisticated outings, literally even at weddings and stuff. Maybe I see a little champagne Wine just does not come up as much as it should for an adult woman. That's okay. I may not be an expert, but I know what I'm going to do.

Speaker 1:

By the time we premiere season five of Falcon Crest, I'm going to make sure I get myself to a wine tasting festival. I think I saw a billboard recently where there's some sort of art fest, some sort of wine fest. That's my challenge, that's my action step for this week Look up a wine festival. I'm just really surprised. It's never come up more. But goals, right. People who don't need to go to a wine festival are going to be the family at Falcon Crest. They live it, they breathe it, they grow it, they fight over it and if it's good enough to fist fight over, then dang it. I can make it a weekend trip and enjoy a little bed and breakfast, little wine action. God, that sounds so fun. Insult to injury. So this episode, I'm not gonna lie, was a little bit slower, but the building blocks are there, so the show opens.

Speaker 1:

Chase wakes up to an intruder alert. He has an alarm system, which I didn't know was a thing in 1985, at least not for the regular degular joe schmoe. But he's rich like that, so I guess it's. Some things are available to him that aren't available to the general public. He wakes up, alarms are going off, he's freaking out. It turns out it's just maggie downstairs trying to a little snacky poo.

Speaker 1:

It is fair to say that Chase is paranoid, as he should be. All of his friends and vague acquaintances are dropping like flies and he has no idea who the cartel is or what they look like. I keep forgetting that little detail, but think about it. Chase's cousin, dead. Chase's mama dead. Chase's brother, richard, almost kidnapped and dead. Chase's brother dead. Chase's brother Richard, almost kidnapped and dead. Chase's brother Richard's side piece, pam, kidnapped. Weird friend Ben dead allegedly. You know what I'm saying. I'm not saying it's him, but things are just kind of crumbling around him and he doesn't know who he's looking for. He just knows there is this cloak and dagger type society that is making all these things happen, which, on the other hand, rebus, being the secret son, is paying dividends at this point. He's able to move within these people. He's able to move within the community, wreak havoc, have it, and he's on no one's radar not a one. So Chase is not only paranoid, but he's also petty.

Speaker 1:

Mellie, mel and Cole come over to show off their new engagement ring Melissa's new engagement ring and she's showing mom and dad her new mom and dad. She's like doesn't Cole have great taste? Now? Chase has an attitude. He's irritated. He hasn't gotten very much sleep, he don't know who's trying to kill everybody, so he just doesn't have the ability to play nice plus terry's over. He can't stand terry. Melissa's there, he's strong enough. Can't stand melissa, so she's all. Doesn't cole have great taste? Chase has a nerve to purse his lips as his legs are crossed and he goes. He usually does. Now I thought okay, angela, I didn't, I didn't know that you reincarnated as Chase. He can't stand her for real, for real.

Speaker 1:

Now Terry is over and Mellie Mel asks her about Joel who is quote unquote missing. So the whole town thinks that she was about to be remarried to this kid named Joel and he just ups and leaves. To my surprise she busts out crying. Carrie says oh, I don't know, I'm so worried sick. And then she falls over and Maggie's laughing, she's crying Now. Chase's eye roll is magnificent. He can't stand these efforts. Plus, he's pissed off that Joel hasn't showed up to work Meanwhile down in San Francisco, that Joel hasn't showed up to work Meanwhile down in San Francisco.

Speaker 1:

Lance meets with his PIs. Now the PIs are looking for any enemy who has the means to take him out. Now the kid has a laundry list of enemies, but who would go this far to allegedly take him out? That's kind of the whole underlying thing. They're not saying Nobody really believes that Lance didn't try to take out Angela. His lawyer is skeptical about this whole framing thing and Lance's chief editor is ready to post a story. He's like we just can't keep putting this off. If you are telling the truth, we got to jump on this. We are the globe for crying out loud. We are the news. All these other little people are picking it up, but we're not. We got to figure out something.

Speaker 1:

Now, while all this is happening, angela is back in her office at her house talking with Reardon the manimal and it's just hitting her really hard. She's had a rough couple of days. Her daughter says she blind and just needs new glasses. She ain't trying to hear that and she's just sitting there just lamenting like god. I can't believe that the good lord didn't bless me with a strapping young son. All of my worries about the future would be done if I could just have, if I'd had men instead of these girls. If she had a dude in her bloodline fresh from her loins, all of her troubles would be moot, all of this would be gone. But that's just not her life, that's not her lot in life and she's struggling with it. Unfortunately her grandson is a criminal, his mother is a nut and a criminal. His auntie is even nuttier than both of them, but since she doesn't share that dominant criminal gene, she's next in line. Looks like Emma's up. Emma will have to do but dang, she just had a boy. All this would be always.

Speaker 1:

It's funny to me that if she feels that way, why Chase wouldn't be the natural choice, but I guess Chase did it. Had Chase stayed there? I've thought about this before. Had he stayed at Falcon Crest and sort of made a name for himself there, I wonder if he would have been just sort of her natural choice. I don't think so. I think the plan was always to get Jason out of the way. Luckily for her, he became an alcoholic and that was really easy to do. Then she had a grandson. She's like, okay, I'm just going to make this work period, but like why would she care? She's going to be dead when all this happens.

Speaker 1:

Anyway, back to Angela. Since the manimal is the only person in the room room and she's not really comfortable with her feelings, it's time to chastise him. She's like you know you shouldn't have let melissa go. You're trying to be some, trying to be a congressman or something you want to get in politics. You're gonna need a good political wife now. As whorish as melissa is, she's your best bet. She's rich, she's beautiful, she understands the game. You really messed up letting her go. Now I'm like angela you are hot and then you're cold. Since when do you care about that? Why would you want Melissa anywhere in your vantage point? But I think she was just pissed because she don't have any sons. So let me just chastise the first man in front of me.

Speaker 1:

It's worth noting that all of this is still being recorded by the bird statue. I often forget that the bird statue is a really big character this season. No one is any the wiser about any of this and, quite frankly, this is a boring conversation. But now we know that the Nazi child will have this information in his back pocket. What he can do with that I really don't know.

Speaker 1:

All right, we got to talk about power over petty. That's the difference between Chase and Angela. So Angela is willing to put aside her differences with people to work with them as long as it serves her. Chase is not. Chase lets his ego get the best of him. He lets his curiosity get the best of him and he lets his temper get the best of him. It shows over and over again why she is top dog, why Angela runs this place and, dare I say it, as much as I love the aviator Adonis, she needs to maintain that throne. She has to be ruthless, she has to be cutthroat, and Emma's just not going to be that for her. But you know what? Emma is a good placeholder until something else comes along. That's how I'm reading this Now. Chase, had he played his cards right, he could have had Terry's vineyard and Melissa's, but he's. You know what I'm saying. He's like oh, I don't even care if you hookers are family. I can't stand either one of y'all Speaking of persona non grata.

Speaker 1:

Richard is still big mad that his little girl is dating Lance. So Terry stops by to basically be played. As you know, richard helped her get rid of her coke ex-husband after she took advantage of him a couple times in the bedroom. She stops by and apparently she has sold Richard her grapes or something again. Womp, womp, womp. She signs the paperwork and I'm like Terry does not understand the assignment.

Speaker 1:

This is not a bad girl. I've decided that Terry is going to be stripped from the bad girl title. She is not a bad girl. She is a girl who got into a bad situation and never really learned how to navigate the world outside of that. She makes bad choices. But Terry has yet to okie doke anybody other than Michael. She is yet to pull a fast one on anybody. She is yet to not be punked by everybody on this show. She gets no respect. She's the least respected person on this show and every time you turn around she's surrendering. She's writing a check to a coke queen. She's sleeping with bad boys who dump her for good girls. She's selling her stuff off to Richard, like Terry. Honey, I made a mistake. I won't let this happen again. Next time you will be fully vetted from here on out.

Speaker 1:

If you're going to be in the bad girls club, if you are going to be deemed one of the baddies of vintage primetime soap opera, you need three bad deeds, and I mean really. You need to seduce and okie doke someone. You need to cause a riff somehow, or, at the very least, you got to gain power in a nefarious way at some point. Baby girl, this just ain't it Okay. So Richard kindly and legally takes Terry's grapes, which, let's be honest, is probably for the best. She knows nothing about nothing, but maybe he feels a little bad for her and he thinks about it for a second and he's like hey, we should work together again. What do you think of Craig Reardon? And she's like you mean the manimal, he's cute or whatever.

Speaker 1:

Richard's like why don't you help your boy out by cozying up to him? Now, this is her wheelhouse. She's like oh, okay, yeah, I can do that bed, no problem. She pulls out all the stops, she goes into her seduction bag and decides that on a night where it's dark and stormy, she's going to show up to his house and play the whole damsel in distress thing. So sure enough it's raining, it's pouring. Craig Reardon could possibly be snoring, but he's not.

Speaker 1:

She knocks on his door. She's dripping wet. She's in the McGruff crime dog outfit, probably with nothing on underneath or very little. She's like oh, craig, I'm so sorry my car broke down. I really need your help Now. He is really a gentleman. So he's like yeah, no, oh no, I'll totally help.

Speaker 1:

She goes. Well, can I get some clothes? I can wear anything, it's, I'm just sopping wet. Can I get a t-shirt? And he's like you know what? No, let me do this. He calls his manservant over and he's like hey, take mrs, what is cousin Michael's name? Take mrs, cousin Michael's in my car and make sure she gets home safe.

Speaker 1:

Terry is like wtf, I have never been. She's been turned down several times, but the look on her face is like I have never been turned down ever, are you serious? So the manservant drives her home and we realize that it's not that Craig. Maybe maybe he was, maybe he wasn't enticed, but he couldn't act on it regardless, because guess who's hiding in the closet? Rockadoodle herself, pam. Now she. I almost didn't recognize her because she's not in leather, she's wearing like a silk robe. She comes out the closet. I forgot that she, he and she are having a little rendezvous, totally, which makes the Melissa thing all the more weird. You are not a seducer. He's not a seductress. Luckily he's hot. He looks like Ken, so women are gonna flock to him. But that personality is lacking. So the next day Terry goes on to tell Richard about what had happened when she showed up to Craig Reardon's house.

Speaker 1:

Now I was a little distracted because she is wearing this stunning, absolutely gorgeous. I guess it's a cape dress or a cape coat. It's really, really beautiful. And I've noticed this season they're using a lot of drapey, rich, super saturated colors and fabrics for her. She's.

Speaker 1:

And then here's the thing too, she's either always covered almost from head to toe, even though she's living in California, or she's in a bikini. Perhaps this symbolizes her torn desire. She wants to be seen as this sophisticated woman of wealth, but all she knows is how to be like this sex symbol, how to be an object of desire. And it's very interesting to watch the contrast between her and all these draped clothes. Her hair's up. She's trying to like, make a name for herself. She's trying to be taken seriously. Or it's bikini down, very interesting. That means she has to do what she has to do. She hasn't ever been taken seriously. But I mean she has to do what she has to do. She hasn't ever been taken seriously, so she leans into what she knows. Sadly, though, it's not really working for her this season. But the wardrobe although it's a bit much for the California coast is stunning. But at the end of the day she's telling Richard boy, I know something is up. He definitely has somebody over there. He wouldn't even let me in the living room. Richard's like mm-hmm, you know, pam didn't come home last night. So I, it was Pam. And they just kind of go about their day like huh.

Speaker 1:

Maggie is in her investigative reporter era and she drives down to the gas station where Lance was allegedly held captive. From the first day he was arrested she's always been like man. Something just don't seem right about this. She goes to the gas station and he shows up soon after. They do the whole back and forth. Now, lance, why did you try to kill Angela, angela? And he's like if I tried to kill her every time we disagree, I'd do it every week Valid point. Here's the thing Lance does not fully trust Maggie. He's afraid that if he says too much it's going to go to Richard's radio station. We blast it out. But then he thinks about it. He's like it's Maggie, like literally nobody has beef with Maggie. So it's not that he trusts her, but it's also not that he does not trust her. Truthfully she doesn't think he did it and the whole story seems really, really forced to her.

Speaker 1:

Now they flash to another scene and for some reason Mellie Mill is hanging out at the Falcon Crest Wine House. Angie and the manimal are there and it's time to be petty. So Angela sees Melissa and she's like oh, your little wedding ring is real cute. And Melissa kind of dangles a ring in her face. She's like yeah, it is cute. I am so sorry to hear about your no good grandson trying to kill you. Oh my god, it's terrible. If you need a friend to talk to, you can call me. And Angela's like little girl, don't hold your breath. Just a little sprinkle of petty for no reason, about 15 minutes in. So when Angela leaves Craig Reardon, the manimal misreads this as an opportunity to put the moves on Melly Mel. But Melissa really, really, really isn't interested in it.

Speaker 1:

This is where I think he and Terry would make a much better couple. They don't have to worry about seducing each other. Neither one of them are any good at it. Stick to what you know. She'll stick to being sexy and try to be sophisticated. He'll stick to being sophisticated and trying to be sexy. They might learn a thing or two between each other. He'll go on to be a lawyer. You can just teach Terry to shut up, it'll be fine. Okay, so nevermind that, let's get back to Maggie.

Speaker 1:

So Maggie decides to plead Lance's case to the one person who it matters the most to, and that would be Angela. So she goes over to Falcon crash and she's like listen, angela, I went down to the gas station and Lance was there with me. I really do believe him. And Angie's like girl, stop being so gullible. Are you for real? I don't expect. I expect this from Emma, but from you. This is embarrassing. Maggie's like no, no, no, hear me out. While Lance and I were at the gas station, we kept hearing these trains and he's like yo, I just kept hearing that the whole time. They had me captive.

Speaker 1:

So Maggie takes this as a clue. She does her investigator, her inspector gadget, and she finds out that the trains are not usually in that area. It's a very rare occurrence, it's like once every however long. They happen to be in the area on the day that Lance allegedly ran Angela off the train tracks. Now I'm surmising by her clues that wherever Angela was run off the road at is far, far away and that in order for Lance to have been able to hear the trains, he would have had to have been right there. Like it's just not something a lot of people would be paying attention to. It's an abandoned area, so there really isn't any way. He's either telling the truth that he heard the train track or heard the trains, or he's not. So Angela starts singing and she's like.

Speaker 1:

I can admit, my grandson is a lot of things. He is goofy, dimwitted, sultry, a little slutty, but a killer. A killer. He is not Beautiful moment. However, I suspect that it really comes down to her not wanting Emma to be her heir.

Speaker 1:

She eventually convinces Lance to move back home, so long as he drops that little Richard Riddle pop-tart Lorraine. He appears to agree, although at this point in the show there was nothing in the episode that led me to believe that that was going to be the case. He has had so much freedom outside of Falcon Crest. I don't see a man like him dropping that anytime soon. Like he's been kicked in and out, in and out, in and out so many times and you got to build your own life at this point. So he's like, yeah, okay, cool, there's bigger things at hand, there's whole charges that could be brought up against him. So he's like, all right, cool, I'll drop her. I'm watching this, thinking, okay, he's probably just going along, to get along, get some good lawyering, get everything dropped. And, sure enough, later on in the episode it shows that he and Lorraine are still planning to have these little sneaky links. She ends up going to Richard being like, yeah, lance dumped me, he's moving back to Falcon Crest, but really that's just their plan to get everybody off their back. But that's good news, I suppose. To get everybody off their back, but that's good news, I suppose.

Speaker 1:

Everything is right as rain. Angela is taking her proper place on the throne and now she has her proper heir. Speaking of heirs, debercy or whatever his name is, liebman, lieberman, whatever stops by Angela's place to sell her some grapes and have a little tea and he starts talking about how he's so sad. It's just it hurts him so deeply that he never had children. He doesn't have an heir. She's listening to him like I feel you, my brother, hard out here for a villain without dude ears.

Speaker 1:

The Bersie Lieberman starts asking about Emma. Now Angie's heckles are immediately up as he exits the house. Emma descends from the stairs and he asks her to accompany him to the ballet or the opera or something like that. I forget. Angela says absolutely not, under any circumstances. She's not interested, she's not going. No, thank you. But Emma's like yes, yes, I will be there, I'll be ready, thank you. After he leaves, angela forbids Emma from going out with that uppity little Frenchman. But Emma ain't trying to hear it. It's been a long time she didn't have any action in a while. She's getting out the house one way or another. We got to talk about sweet, sweet Charlotte.

Speaker 1:

So Maggie's mom did not repurchase those pearls that she lifted from Maggie. The last time we saw her she was at the horse races and you remember she was. She was really close to winning it back. I think she only needed a little bit more money, but she seemed to be on the redemptive path. She was like oh my God, I can't believe I'm such a scumbag, I would steal these from my daughter. I feel terrible. But then her horse wins and she really wants. You know, she's like I guess that was her goal to get them back. I understood it. I just sort of assumed that after that she went and got it. So it turns out that she didn't, and it's going to cost her about $500 to buy them back. Now she only has a few days to come up with it.

Speaker 1:

So she pulls a terry and leans into what she knows best gambling. She tries to place a bet at the racetrack, but on this day that simply will not fly. So Richard is there and he can't accept her bets. He sees her. He's been seeing her come in more and more. He doesn't like where this is going and he's like I'm really sorry, charlotte, I like you a whole lot, but I just can't. You can't place bets here anymore. She's like dude, please, please, please. I really need it. He's like I like you, but I'm also doing this for Maggie. I don't want her to. This is just going to hurt her. This is going to devastate her.

Speaker 1:

So she had a horse in particular that she was going to bet on, but she's not one to fight. So she turns on her heels and she sees on the TV that the horse that she was going to bet on he wins, and she has a sort of agonizingly painful look on her face. She's like biting her knuckle. And she turns back to look at Richard and I'm like, oh, she hates him. Now that's the impression I got so right about this time in the episode. Maggie is like has anyone seen my pearl? Her mom's like pearls. No, no, my God. No, I haven't seen any sort of priceless jewelry hidden in boxes anywhere. No, maggie doesn't think this is weird at all. So mom ends up packing up her teens and slipping out when Maggie is away.

Speaker 1:

Now I hate to see Charlotte go because she is such a sweet character and, quite frankly, I like seeing women of a certain age, men of a certain age, on TV. I like it. My formative years were with geriatric people and I think they're a good time. Bring her back, but she ran off. I hope they go get her.

Speaker 1:

Also, maybe she's going to go kill Richard. I was just thinking about it. He's due. Nobody's actually tried to kill him this season. That's like his whole purpose. Everybody should hate him and try to kill him. Nobody's done it yet and she looks super pissed when he did not allow her to place that bet. So hopefully there's a brooding little vendetta in there. We don't know what she was doing all this time. Maggie's at least in her 40s. We don't know what her mama's life was before that. Speaking of Richard being not killed, he has a lot of time on his hands now that he's not looking over his shoulder. So Melissa and Cole's cold. Melissa and Cole are chilling by the pool. It's the middle of the day but they seem to be alone. So they're trying to get something started A little afternoon delight.

Speaker 1:

Richard shows up unannounced and starts going on and on about horses and he's like yo, melissa, won't you sell me that prize winning horse baby girl? Then she steadies her glance at him, like trying to figure out why he's here. Why don't you sell me that prize winning horse baby girl? Now she steadies her glance at him, like why is like trying to figure out why he's here, thinking okay, what dirt does this man have on me? I don't really remember. She's like Richard, it's not for sale. Now he lingers and he keeps saying stuff like why aren't you working with Craig Reardon. Aren't you all friendly, like with the manimal? What's one less horse? And Cole's like you know he's got a point. Why don't we just sell the horse? Because Cole don't want her over there with the manimal.

Speaker 1:

Melissa keeps watching him like, oh okay, I see you, I see you. No, thank you, richard. I said no. And he's like okay, cool, no big deal. But he's being really weird about it. Why don't you to whatever you're working on, don't say that that's none of your business. Did she say anything when you were sleeping with that old lady? Did she say anything when you were sleeping with Rockabilly Pam? Mind your business Then. Don't come in my pool house or at my pool worrying about what I do or don't do with my man.

Speaker 1:

So later on I guess he invites her to lunch or she storms his lunch or something. And Richard just kind of casually drops a bomb. He's like hey, mel, do you remember a guy named Joel? She's like oh, yeah, yeah, terry's cracked out. Fiance, such a shame, I feel so bad for her, she's so sad. And Richard's like oh, yeah, man, I feel bad for her too. I already left, left her high and dry. And Melissa's like yeah, man, I guess it's like that sometimes, you know, and Richard's like or maybe you hired him to set up Lance and then he left town with the money you paid him.

Speaker 1:

Of course she laughs, that rich lady. She laughs, that rich lady. Laugh like that's the bat signal for lawyers and do dirt dudes. It's like I'm either going to sue you or I'm going to pay someone to kill you. You miserable little cretin, how dare you accuse me of an activity I did? So she's laughing. She's like that's wild, richard. I can't even believe you would entertain that. Plus, that sort of thing is impossible. She's like I mean, yeah, it definitely would be if I didn't know where Joel was. You see, he's hanging out with some friends of mine. I know exactly where he's at. I can kind of talk to him anytime I want. They have a quick little stare down and eventually she's like all right, I guess you just bought a horse. And he's like bet, write my receipt out, and that's really about it.

Speaker 1:

I'm not going to lie, this was one of the slower episodes, one of the slowest I've seen the Falcon Crest for a while. If nothing else, I'm looking forward to Terry's character arc. I feel like she, she might be building up to something. She's getting a lot of screen time. I hope they don't fumble that. But she's got a lot of growing to do. She really does, and hopefully she can get something brewing. It doesn't really seem like she's winning this. I almost hope they bring in like a poor man or someone she thinks is poor, and he sort of wears her down eventually. She's looking down on him at first and then he's like no, you should be with me. He does something heroic and she sees what a good man he is and he understands her past. Then they can kind of run off together. But you know this is a soap opera, so something tragic would have to happen in between that. But hey, a girl can wish.

Speaker 1:

There's also the underlying theme of this episode Resting on your laurels is a recipe for distress. I wouldn't even say that Terry is resting on her laurels. She's just in survivor mode. Just don't know any better way. The same thing with Angela and DeBercy.

Speaker 1:

Although lashing out is quite entertaining, cutting people off with the quickness is always fun. What happens to them is it reveals their soft white underbelly. You know exactly where. To attack these people off with the quickness is always fun. What happens to them is it reveals their soft white underbelly. You know exactly where to attack these people, and with super villains like Angela and the Nazi child Percy, eventually somebody is going to pay attention and know where to hit you where it hurts, which is what Chase could do if he weren't so stuck in his ways. Being this super righteous boy scout, he might be able to see that.

Speaker 1:

And someone who has no problems resting on laurels when they work and switching up when they don't is my girl, bad girl meli mel. She knows exactly how to play this game. Okay, I'll give you this horse, richard, but you better believe she's gonna figure out a way to just crush him. I know that for a fact. Okay, cool, ang, you want me out of the world? Bet I'm going to take out your air. Thank God for bad girl Melly Mel. All right, that's it. That's all for this episode. Join me next time as we jump back into another fun-filled edition of Falcon Crest. This one ought to be a little more zesty In the meantime. In between time, make sure, when you pay someone to do dirt, make sure they go far, far, far away, lest you be okey-doke out of a million dollar racehorse. Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business and keep all of your drama on TV. Thank you.