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S4 EP17 Dynasty-The Accident: The " Let Me Tell You About Your Little Friend" Episode

• Jett Shae • Episode 265

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Speaker 1:

I can't believe you had the audacity to try to kill someone. Didn't this man have a whole trial where he killed somebody? I can't imagine where you got that thought from. Didn't he kill his wife's lover or try to kill him?

Speaker 1:

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome, or welcome back to Soap Lord, the official gathering place for newbies, novices and OG diehard fans of the golden age of primetime. I'm your host, jeb, viewing and reviewing the Sylphia Setia's primetime storylines of 1984. So, whether you're new to this or true to this, hit back and enjoy. Tell the kids it's time to play outside or, out of sight, tell babe, no questions, suggestions or concerns. For the next 25 to 35 minutes, everyone else in earshot, cool, quiet or kicked out are your only options, because we are watching our story. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is Soapy. Hello, gorgeous, welcome back to another fun television of Soapy Lore. Hello, gorgeous, welcome back to another fun-filled edition of Soap Lore. We are moving right along.

Speaker 1:

We're watching a little bit of Dynasty today and I tackled all through this episode. It probably wasn't meant to be funny, but I don't know if Dynasty is like the lifetime of the primetime soap operas. You know what I mean Lifetime of the channel where eventually they just stopped trying to be realistic. Like you know what, let's lean into this camp. I kind of felt like this episode was a lot of that, but it reminded me of something a little more personal. So every day I pick up my kids. Sometimes they grab a snack at home, sometimes we'll stop on the way home and grab a little something. And it reminded me of my own afterschool routine. Now that varies through the years. And it reminded me of my own afterschool routine. Now that varies through the years. Not by much, but I'm an OG millennial, I'm an elder millennial, so I definitely am more of a latchkey kid than you know. I didn't have a babysitter 90% of the time. If it was, it was like a cousin or my grandma or someone who would pick us up from school.

Speaker 1:

After a long day at school I'd rush home, toss my backpack to the furthest corner, so I didn't have to look at it. My school actually started something called block scheduling very early on, I want to say like fourth or fifth grade. So we got very used to doing each lesson for an hour and a half, meaning you do one, you do probably math, science and reading on one day and then social studies, english and something else on the next. So I never really had to do a lot of homework at home. So I'd rush home, throw my stuff in the corner, whip up my favorite snack by the way, it was Orville Redenbacher popcorn with a little hot sauce and then I'd shake up the milk carton, pour it in, so I'd have like this frothy milk, that was my jam. Shake up the milk carton, pour it in, so I'd have like this frothy milk, that was my jam.

Speaker 1:

And then I'd pop down in front of the TV because I knew I had probably 1.5 to 2.10 hours before my parents got, usually about an hour and a half, honestly, before my mom and dad got home, which was a perfect window to indulge in some good old fashioned midday ratchet television. We call prime time the golden time for TV. But I tell you what, if you're not watching daytime soaps and you're not watching nighttime soaps, you better believe midday is where the ratchetness really cranks up. It is the perfect bridge between the two. So when I was a little bit younger and I actually was allowed to watch TV, it would be something like Jenny Jones, sometimes Ricky Lake, etc. Geraldo, whoever was on, I would watch it as I got older and as time went by, even in college and stuff it turned into like the Tyra Banks show, dr Phil, they started to get real ratchet and my favorite episodes were either the makeover episodes, where you show up and then they make you over and you're all hot at the end, episodes where you show up and then they make you over and you're all hot at the end, or the creme de la creme.

Speaker 1:

The actual golden television was the he or she is cheating and I can prove it episode To me someone in a little dusty town. Those episodes were a masterclass and people watching. They inadvertently taught me a lot about life and I learned three things very quickly. Number one if you get a random call from some producer on a television show you've never applied for, you better show up prepared to fist fight, depending on who it is. If it's Jerry Springer, you're going to fight. If it's Jenny Jones, somebody thinks your clothes look like crap or the person you love is definitely cheating on you. Hands down. That formula has not changed. It might have morphed from midday ratchet television to survivor or love island or temptation island, whatever. If you are approached without approaching the network first, you better be prepared for some bull. The other lesson I learned is that love isn't necessarily blind. It's more like a puzzle and it's definitely rearrangeable.

Speaker 1:

On every last one of these talk shows, if someone was coming to confess that they were cheating, or their best friend drug you out of the woodworks to tell you that your man has been cheating, and they have proof. And they set up the cameras backstage so you can watch it all. You remember right? There were always signs. The signs were always there, glaringly obvious, yet somehow the lovesick puppy always overlooked them. The drama was intense, but the truth was always right there in their face. You know something's not right. If you've been dating this guy for 10 months, you've never been to his house. You only go out on one night a week. These women would build full lives in men, full lives around someone. During and before the internet really popped up, popped off like it did now to where you're not being catfished. You know this person's flesh and blood and you have never been to their house Red flag.

Speaker 1:

The third thing I learned is that 15 people aren't telling the same lie. If you were told time and time and time again about your little man friend, let me tell you a little something about your little friend and you don't listen, baby. The consequences are what they are and that is Fallon's problem, this entire episode. We are on season four, episode 17. This one is called the Accident. Fallon might as well be on Jenny Jones. She's not trying to hear this or that about Peter the filibuster. Go ahead and grab yourself something bubbly and bright and let's jump into season four, episode 17 of Dynasty the Accident. So let's go ahead and get the bit players out of the way.

Speaker 1:

If this were a midday ratchet television show ie like a Jenny Jones or something Kirby and Adam would be the I lied about my pregnancy guests. You've seen the ones where this man is head over heels in love with this woman. She is pretending to be pregnant and instead of telling him in the privacy of his own home, where he can grind to a pillow or freak out, run down the street or do something, she tells him in front of God and everybody in midday, where little kids like me are watching it in a gawk just like oh my god, really, only hers is in reverse. So Kirby has come through the worst of what we learned on the last episode that she has survived, she and Adam's rape baby. A little girl did not Shout out to the baby though. She survived a horse fall, endless hours of preeclampsia. She was a tough kid.

Speaker 1:

Unfortunately, the pregnancy did not come to fruition and Kirby has finally come to her senses. She wakes up from a deep, coma-like sleep probably coma-induced sleep and Adam is right by her side, he is clutching her hand. He has come to terms with the fact that they have not created life together. She wakes up like, oh, I dreamt about my baby. I was holding her. She knows it's a girl, she was so wonderful. And he's like oh, sweetheart, darling. Unfortunately that's not the case because, like you didn't do bed rest, you basically you achieve the goal you had. But it's like in that moment she understands that, oh, my god, I never thought of this as being my baby. I just thought of this being Adam's demon seed. Holy crap, I didn't think of this as an actual person.

Speaker 1:

She begins to give the most wonderful Academy Award winning wretched heart, broken heart, mother sobs. I was impressed, color me far more impressed than I was watching a couple of the Academy Award nominated films this year. She killed it. She was so good. I am going to follow her. I'm going to make sure I find a program a program how old am I? 90? A show or movie that she's in after this. This kid is a good actor. Dynasties bit players are just eating everybody alive.

Speaker 1:

So Kirby has come to the conclusion that this was all a mistake. She's absolutely having prego remorse. If she were on Jenny Jones, they would come together in this beautiful hug and decide that they're going to continue their life together. This storyline is more disturbing to me than any other because of the way that this all came about. She was very quick to forgive him We'll talk about Adam a little bit later, because there's some moments with he and Blake but it is so strange to me that the man who attacked her is the same man who's comforting her, which probably isn't that unusual of a story. You hear about this with husbands and wives all the time, but it doesn't sit well. It did not age well in 2025. I'm looking all out of the side of my eye for this, but Kirby is absolutely beside herself because her child did not make it.

Speaker 1:

Speaking of making it, that's what every 20 something fresh out of college does. They dream of making it in the business or profession that they chose, and Tracy is no different. Tracy has been making a name for herself. We're starting to learn a little bit more about her and how ruthless she can actually be. We're starting to learn a little bit more about her and how ruthless she can actually be.

Speaker 1:

She and Dexter had a moment last episode where he confronted her for basically tattling on him to Blake and she says you know what Don't start now won't be done. That's basically what she said. Don't start now won't be done. Dexter's like uh-huh, I've heard about you, heard, you'll stop at absolutely nothing. And on this episode we get to see exactly what absolutely nothing means.

Speaker 1:

That means she is quite literally in bed with the same sort of people who would produce Jerry Springer or Star Magazine I can't remember the name of those tabloids we used to see in the grocery store all the time. I haven't seen them as much. I don't really pay attention like that. I usually have on my earbuds so I'm not really paying attention to that kind of thing. You know the type where they're like oh, elvis is alive, alien babies, that kind of thing. She's in bed with those type of people or those paps types from the early 2000s used to take Paris Hilton's picture all the time. That kind of guy. So she's quite literally in bed with Jeremy. Who's this blonde reporter or head of the newspaper or something? He's complimenting her on her horizontal dance steps. She's like duh.

Speaker 1:

And then they get down to business. He's like so why do you want to run this story on Crystal Carrington? She says because I have been working my butt off. I should be the PR person for this company. Now listen, I've always had a little bit of a soft spot for a villain with a purpose. She is not wrong. She absolutely deserves to be in Crystal's position.

Speaker 1:

But what does that look like if Blake would give his wife a secondary position? That just can't happen. These are. There are some things bigger than logic. There are some things bigger than love, and this fits into that whole rearranging the puzzle pieces. Blake is in love. He knows his wife was a secretary Somehow. That means she can handle. Pr Doesn't mean she can't, but she could definitely use a little. You know she could use some learning.

Speaker 1:

Tracy is that girl, and Tracy proves this on this episode by having a whole sort of murder. Why can't I talk? Having this whole sort of murder board on her wall? You know the type. If you watch CSI, you watch any sort of movies. They even have games. Now, this is such a millennial thing to have this game where it's all this, this crime scene evidence, where you can be an internet sleuth and figure out who the murderer is. They have all this stuff. Tracy has that exact same thing on the board, but for the Carrington's, and she has decided to take advantage of Peter DeFillibuster's scam and turn that into a sensationalized story that undermines Crystal.

Speaker 1:

So she tells Jeremy, listen, I need you to run this story about Crystal. He's like yo, the last time we slept together you told me you had these big ideas. I almost lost my job. She's like why are you bringing up old stuff? Just trust me on this one, I'm not naming weird things, it's going to be fine. Just shut up and print it. He does that because I assume he wants to sleep with her a little later on.

Speaker 1:

So he runs this front page story and it's basically that Crystal is this really incompetent woman. She's sort of a spoiled, brat, oil-filled wife who whined to her husband after her horse was stolen and they didn't even involve the police, when in actuality they did involve the police, but the filibuster had his whole scam set up so they didn't even get a chance to do with the right thing. Crystal is mortified like what the f? They think I'm incompetent, they think I'm whack. And tracy brings this to her. She's like girl, I don't even say. It says more than that. It says that she was married, that she was still married when you married bl Blake, and then you had to have this sideways divorce. This is all this crap, girl. If it were me, if it were me, somebody's head would be on the chopping block, crystal being cool, calm, collected in her cream, because you know it's Wednesday. She's like I don't even. I just let's just let it ride, let's not even do nothing.

Speaker 1:

But Tracy does two things here. Number one, the audience finally gets to see her fangs. We get to see her claws. We get to see what she is capable of. By the way, her story was 100% accurate, even if the context was a little bit blurry. She didn't tell him a lot. And number two, she is solidifying herself as not only invaluable to Blake, but to Crystal as well. Your friends close, keep your enemies closer. She is riding that all the way through. So I thought to myself if this was midday television, this would be the you stole my man. But she's you know, she's setting up the paperwork for that great tv tracy is not to be trifled with. Good for her.

Speaker 1:

This woman has worked a long time. She deserves some success, and sometimes you gotta muddy the lines a little bit. Two things can be true at once you could be the best, most qualified person for the job and also be the person who's never, ever gonna get a job for circumstances out of your control. Which makes me me think of Claudia a little bit more. She is living her best life. She has done her quote unquote time in the sanitarium. She has tried her best to be an honest woman by all intents and purposes. She actually has never done anything wild.

Speaker 1:

She married a man who had an affair. She went a little bit know off the rails. Today we would say she maybe had a nervous breakdown or something. She suffered a little bit of depression for that. Then she, she, she moves on. She has a little tiny tiny affair with this guy. It is blown up in front of god and everybody had a murder case that she had nothing to do with. Then her husband runs off with her baby. After she has an accident with the baby. She wakes up from a coma. Her whole life is turned upside down. You cannot tell me that that breeds clarity of mind and just clear thoughts. Yes, she reacted to a really, really horrible situation. However, now she's on the straight and narrow. She has learned to sort of tuck down any memory. She knows what she can and can't speak on. She knows who she can and can't combine with. She also has to speak in the calmest voice ever. I can't show any emotion, but that is kind of messing with her bag, because now she's getting all these violets from someone calling themselves Lancelot.

Speaker 1:

Now I'm putting my money on Matthew's mother because I started going back and thinking like, okay, did Claudia ever talk about her mother? No, she definitely called Matthew's mother one time and she talked about it before. So I'm thinking this is going to be sort of like that Knott's Landing episode where Ginger's ex-boyfriend, who had died his mom, was sending her all those miracles or whatever the floral fixation episode. I fully get psyched that. I'm gonna bet money it is his mama, because that's a trifling thing to do, and maybe she feels a way. Maybe she's blaming Claudia which I don't fully disagree with for Matthew's disappearance, even though I don't actually blame her. I could understand how someone else could blame her. That's all I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

So she and Stephen are having lunch at you guessed it La Mirage, and she's talking about those flowers are starting to make her remember her daughter, but like she's not crazy, like dude, this somebody is doing this to me. She feels like Stephen thinks she crazy, so she's. She's thinking about her words very carefully. He doesn't think she's crazy, but he definitely thinks somebody is messing with her. So he approaches the usual suspect, his mother. They have a little chatter, chatter, chit, chit, and halfway through the conversation she's like Steven, do you think I would do that? That's not even my style, I would have to agree. We haven't seen a lot of Alexis be like cutthroat and and sneaky. But I'm I don't think she would send flowers to send you over the edge. She'd write a check to get rid of you. That's how she got rid of Sammy Jo. I feel like that would be her modus operandus if she had one.

Speaker 1:

But she starts thinking about this and, dare I say it, alexis's heart grows a little softer towards Claudia. So she's like Claudia, let's have lunch at surprise surprise La Mirage. And Claudia says you know, alexis, thank you for meeting me, but there's just nothing I can do. If I talk too much, all people are gonna say is hey, that lady who was in the crazy house is talking crazy again. And Alexis's like dang, you're right, but I don't want you to stop. Okay, this is what we're going to do. Stop talking about being crazy. Put that behind you. That was a long time ago. Stop saying that If someone is messing with you, we need to do something. Why don't you talk to the police? Claudia's like what can I say?

Speaker 1:

Somebody typed up a letter. There's no fingerprints on it. They typed it up and dropped it off at my house. This is long before surveillance cameras were in the hallway. You don't need a key card to get into her building. She's right, there's really nothing she can stand on. But I feel like Alexis is like no, no, no, no, no, no. You might be Cuckoo. You might not be who I would choose for my son, but I'll be damned. If my daughter-in-law is going to be played for a fool, let me handle it. I'll make sure it's handled properly. So now we've got Alexis on the prowl.

Speaker 1:

As I'm saying this out loud, alexis makes a much better PR person than Crystal. No shade to Crystal, but let's be real. She understands people. She understands how to get information from them. She's so much more like Tracy than Crystal could ever be. Not that I think she's all high and mighty and innocent, but she just didn't have the street smarts to do the job. That's sort of a pattern I'm picking up on when watching Dynasty. So if you are not wealthy, if you are not a Carrington or a Colby by blood, there's always going to be this second guessing as to whether or not you are truthful or you are capable. Pr is one of those professions where you need to be a little bit comfortable with the uncomfortable. You are basically wrangling in another person. You are spinning a story so that they always look good. As I think about this on this show, I think Alexis would probably be the best, but she's up against someone like a Jeff Colby. Jeff Colby comes from money. He is used to power. He's used to a certain amount of obedience, if you will, and this episode is no different. So let's rewind a little bit.

Speaker 1:

Fallon is in her office and her golden girl realness. I see her outfit. It's like black. It's got all these bedazzled whatever it on the shoulder, shoulder pads. She looks like a little girl playing dress up. She looks like Blanche Devereaux. To me that's irrelevant.

Speaker 1:

Claudia comes in the room. She's like hey, girl, they said you wanted to see me right away. What's going on? Fallon is just floating through the office. Yes, yes, yes, I was looking at some of the things that are coming up this month. I'm going to be out for a little bit. Do you think you can take over like the banquets, the conferences, that sort of thing, which I would think would be Claudia's job anyway? But Claudia says yeah, sure, of course. How long are you going to be gone? Well, I don't know. Peter and I are going to get married in Monte Carlo. We're going to honeymoon here and there, blah, blah, blah. Basically, fallon says that she and her love are going to jet set around the world to celebrate said love, and she don't really know when she's going to be back. But she's thinking probably a month and change. All the mothers in the room give side eye. Okay, okay, a month, huh.

Speaker 1:

Claudia, who is versed in not being believed by people, chooses her word carefully. Fallon, I love you and I understand you're in a new season of your life. I'm paraphrasing, but I have some reservations when it pertains to Peter DeFilbester. Fallon scoffs and rolls her eyes because she's heard this more times than a little bit. Okay, claudia, what is your hang up with Peter?

Speaker 1:

Claudia says Peter came on to me right here in your office. Note the importance of her statement. She is saying that on your own turf. I am your sister-in-law. He is more than aware of that. He still tried to get something from me.

Speaker 1:

Fallon is not trying to hear that. Did he ask you to go to bed with him? No, but he like grinded up against her and made her very uncomfortable and touched her and basically said he wanted to hit her. Yes, he didn't say go to my bed explicitly, but yes, claudia says no and Fallon scoffs again. That's just how Peter is with women. I've seen him with women. That's just how he is. That's how he compliments you. Now, I'd really like it if you'd leave now so I can get back to work on a desk with no computer, no typewriter, no notepad. What work are you doing on a blank desk, my dear? We're going to let that ride.

Speaker 1:

She's not trying to hear that she can shoo Claudia out of the door because she is but a peasant. She is a peasant who happened to marry a rich man, who happened to be, has extensive insight on insane asylums. So who's going to believe Claudia? But the truth is, everybody in Fallon's life has been saying this more times than a little bit. Hey, peter's weird Peter's giving me a weird vibe. I don't really like this. Her father has said this, jeff has said this, everyone has basically said this.

Speaker 1:

So the next morning, because Jeff and everyone lives at the mansion, jeff bumps into Fallon at the foot of the stairs. Now she is in this. God, it is the most beautiful, killer, bright red outfit. It is a cape, it is, I guess it's, a skirt suit. When I tell you, head to toe, everything she has on is the exact same color red. It is customized. You cannot go to JCPenney's or Macy's or wherever and get this off the rack.

Speaker 1:

She put it on. It is gorgeous, but that's irrelevant because Jeff has business. He says so hey, I hear you about to get married or whatever. That's real cute. Um, when is this happening? She didn't really have any ideas because the truth is she hadn't really talked to Peter since the horse got back. Oh, sooner rather than later he goes, okay. Well, what happens after that? I don't know. But the short answer is we live happily ever after. Jeff ain't trying to hear this. He's like that's real cute, fallon.

Speaker 1:

Um, I hope that you don't think that you're gonna take my baby around the world. I'm gonna let going to let you know right now one thing for certain, two things for sure my baby is not going to be jet setting with you and this crook. And number two he will never, ever, ever be a father to my child. She has a nerve to be offended, but this is a great point. How are you going to disappear for a month and this man has never met your child? This is the first episode I realized. She's never introduced the baby to Peter, but you're gonna marry him. How totally irresponsible is that? This goes back to Blake last episode. He's like honey. You were a little bit impulsive when it comes to men. So the consensus in the mansion is that Peter's weird Fallon's being irresponsible, but everybody's sort of tiptoeing around it.

Speaker 1:

After Jeff lets her know one time, and one time only, that this baby, blake Colby, will not be jet-setting with you and your weirdo husband. He gets in his car and unfortunately it ruins the walk-off a little bit for me, even though Fallon probably doesn't know this. He leaves the house and he gets a flat tire. He doesn't draw a triple A, because he's rich, I guess from his car phone I don't know if car phones were a thing in 1984. He calls back at the house where Tony shows up.

Speaker 1:

Now, if you don't remember who Tony is, tony is either the horse guy. I don't really know what he is. He's a groundskeeper, I suppose, but he never wears a shirt. Buttons are for gluttons. If he's wearing a button-down shirt, it is wide open because he fine, fine. He needs everybody to remember that he is fine, fine. So he shows up like hey, mr Colby, I'm here to help with a sleeveless, open button shirt so we can see how fine he really is. Well, he starts working on the tire and he goes man, just god, are you okay? I know everybody was really, really upset about the horse the other night and Jeff's like yeah, I'm fine, but what do you mean? I'm watching this as the audience member. It didn't seem that pressing to me, but Jeff read into it.

Speaker 1:

Next thing we see he's in the library telling Blake all about it. He's like yo, tony, topless. Tony told me that groundskeeper, horsekeeper, whatever, jack was super pissed when the horse got stolen, like he's nervous about his job and whatnot. Blake's like what are you talking about? Jeff tells him I couldn't get a lot out of him, but eventually he told me that, yeah, he had had some wine and he got super sleepy right after it. Now he told the police that he had a couple glasses, but the reality is he had less than one glass. So Blake goes oh my God, you think he was poisoned. Jeff's like I think he might have been poisoned.

Speaker 1:

So they formulate a plan and they bring in the horse trainer, an older gentleman named Jack, who I really liked. I just like the way his voice sounds. Jack is a good old boy from Brooklyn, new York. And he starts telling them yeah, what a great place you got here, allegra, I'm so relieved she's back and Jeff and Blake start kind of going back and forth with him Like man, how did you get into this? He's like oh, I've just been raising horses my whole life. Did you meet Peter DeFillibuster in Brazil? No, no, no, I met him here in the States. You see, horse racing is a really small community. So he heard about me and he jumped in. He told me I would. Yeah, I met him in the States. I've been working with Allegra since she's about six months old. We figured out pretty early on that she'd be a great racehorse.

Speaker 1:

So they're like you must have been devastated when she was stolen, he goes. Devastated when she was stolen, he goes. Oh my god, I was absolutely beside myself. Here I am having wine and pizza with topless Tony. Next thing I know the horse is gone. It was devastating, but the reality is Jack was not born yesterday.

Speaker 1:

He is also a hustler. He is also slimy, so his heckles are up at this point Jeff goes. God, yeah, that's so weird that Tony passed out after that one little glass. This is what this man says. Jack's like yo. You know, I'm from Brooklyn, never really been out of the country, but I could tell right away the topless Tony is a yokel. He's never been out of the state. He's not sophisticated and refined enough to hold his liquor and pizza. Also. I am also not refined enough to hold my liquor and pizza. Also. I am also not refined enough to hold my liquor and pizza. It has nothing to do with being metropolitan or not. My heartburn could never. My acid reflux the way that's set up, baby, it could never. Anyway, I digress, so they're all satisfied with this and he leaves, only to go into the hallway and do the obligatory soap opera thing where he scowls. He's on to them just like they're on to him.

Speaker 1:

Never mind that Alexis is also very suspicious of this after her daughter came into her penthouse and was like you're jealous of me? No, I'm not jealous of you, I just think this dude's a scumbag. Alexis does some digging. She calls a princess a whole princess and is like girl, I need a tea on Peter the filibuster. And the princess is all too eager to be like girl. Let me tell you what happened. So she is able to tell Fallon hey, this dude was a scumbag. He fully knocked this girl up and then he left her because he didn't want children.

Speaker 1:

Now Fallon does the thing that all the people did on the Jenny Jones, ricky Lake, you insert Sally. Just whoever you insert that name, tyra, it doesn't matter Does all the things that the person receiving the information does. That's a lie. You're all jealous, you just don't want me to be happy. Now why would I go out of my way to gather actual tea when I could just make it up if I didn't want you to be happy?

Speaker 1:

She knows things are adding up. She knows that he's never met her son. She knows that he's not really that interested. If this is a woman your head over heels in love with you know she has a whole baby. You'd want to meet him at some point. He doesn't want to do that. All these things are ringing a little bit too true.

Speaker 1:

So what do you do? You show out, you act out, you lash out. You make sure that anyone close to you knows that they better not say anything even remotely sideways about this here, man, or else there will be consequences. That all has to wait as we speak of consequences because Adam Carrington is ready to face his. He confessed in the last episode that he was indeed the poison Pinocchio behind Jeff's hallucinations a couple months back and he needed to rid himself of that. He's ready to pay penance, he's ready to do whatever it takes, but he wanted Blake to know this because Blake seems to believe in him. So he goes to Blake's office one more time and he's like Father, I am a Carrington, I am more than willing to accept whatever punishment you put out.

Speaker 1:

Blake, with a straight face and the boldness of a boomer, is like I can't believe you have the audacity to try to kill someone. Didn't this man have a whole trial where he killed somebody? I audacity to try to kill someone. Didn't this man have a whole trial where he kills somebody? I can't imagine where you got that thought from. Didn't he kill his wife's lover? Or try to kill him? I'm just saying apple tree, kettle pot black. He's blind to all this.

Speaker 1:

Adam, I just don't know what I'm gonna do. Are you sure your mother knew nothing about he's like? No, I just I told her to sign something for the record. I didn't want Jeff to die, I just wanted him to be incapacitated. I figured if he was slowed down then my mom could get exactly what she wanted and she would love me. Let me tell you what. That you left me in the rain bit and I got kidnapped will pay dividends for the next hundred years as a parent. This, like dang, I did. We definitely left you out there like that dang.

Speaker 1:

So blake is contemplating all of this. He needs to consider it. He goes to see alexis. She's still 10 toes down. He comes in her office. He's like alexis, you don't have to pretend anymore. I don't know what you're talking about. Adam told me everything. I don't know what you're talking about. Get out of my face. Bl Adam told me that he he's the one who poisoned Jeff and he tricked you. And she's like she don't believe him. Right at first you can tell she's like what. I don't know what you're saying. He goes. Listen, I came here to apologize to you. I didn't realize you were such a good mother that you would be 10 toes down for your kids. Why did did you do it? Obviously she's his mom. She goes.

Speaker 1:

I just felt so bad, like after all this happened, I went to Billings to hopefully reveal that he wasn't my son, but all I found out is that he had, like this drug incident. He'd have no friends growing up. He was very lonely and he did some drugs as a teenager and it messes with his brain from time to time. And Blake's like dang. Maybe if I hadn't called off the search for my son after 15 minutes, this would all turn out different. Like, maybe if you and your wife hadn't left your baby outside in the rain to either drown or be kidnapped, maybe none of this would happen. So, yes, he has. I want him to feel guilty. He needs to carry the weight of leaving this child in the rain. Also. That's your baby for real, for real, that's your DNA test. I don't care what nobody say. If he tried to kill somebody not once, but twice, so did you. Uh, apple and tree, okay. So this is where it really starts to get good.

Speaker 1:

By nearing the end of the episode, fallon has all this information. Her mother talked to a whole princess. Her father has these hang-ups. Jeff comes to her once and for all. He tells Blake, he calls Blake and he's like yo, blake, I talked to my PI. I have some news for you. Why don't you meet me at La Mirage? Don't make any sense. I don't know why they didn't go to his house or anywhere else, but let's meet at this hotel, I suppose, so they could meet Fallon. I just thought about that.

Speaker 1:

Jeff gets there first. He sees Fallon. He's like hey, hey there, guess what? Your husband is a complete liar and a weirdo. She's like Jeff, don't even start with me. You're so jealous like I would never be jealous of a non-blinking weirdo. I did some diggings. Homeboy never bought no diamonds in his life, or at least not the last two weeks. The diamonds he claimed he bought the horseback with never happened. She's like oh my God, I don't know why you're doing all this. You're such a liar, jeff. Oh my gosh. So she goes up to Peter DeFillibuster's room. It is odd to me that he would have been staying in this whole hotel the entire time and she's not made any sort of contact with him since he got the money or the horse back.

Speaker 1:

She goes up to his room and his do-dirt dude whose name escapes me at the moment, we'll call him Eyebrows McGillicuddy is there and Eyebrows is like oh my god, why are you here? Uh, because she owns the place. Please have some respect, sir. Why are you here? I'm looking for Peter. Where'd he go? Oh, he's gone. Well, when will he be back? He's like no, no, no, no, baby girl, I don't think you understand what I'm saying. He's gone, gone, like he's never coming back. What do you mean, eyebrows, mcgillicuddy? What do you mean? Eyebrows has to break it down. Joy said listen, I didn't want to have to tell you this, but he's not interested in you. He told me to tell you it's been fun, it's been cute or whatever, but he's moving on and he is never, ever coming back.

Speaker 1:

And one of my favorite scenes ever, ever, ever, on Dynasty happens right here. She's in this hotel room. And do you remember the movie Carrie? Not that the remake, which I didn't love, but I watched because why not the original Carrie from the 70s with Sissy Spacek? So if you don't know, the whole theme of the movie is this girl, carrie be.

Speaker 1:

Literally she is minding her own business the entire film. All she wants to do is eat her lunch in peace, wash her body in peace after gym class, read a book. That's all she really wants to do. But every time she tries to live her life, somebody comes at her. She's trying to wash herself in the shower. She gets her period. All the girls throw pads at her, which is so not girl code. It's so disgusting. She goes home. Her mother who's this religious? Just freak, cusses her out because she got her period and caused all kinds of dirty, this, that and the third. She just want to read books and go. That's all she just trying not to get bullied.

Speaker 1:

So eventually Carrie messes around and discovers that she has this, like these, telepathic powers. Now she don't really do nothing weird. She just brings food to herself, to books. You know she's doing the normal stuff people who want to be left alone would do. Like the books. You know she's doing the normal stuff people who want to be left alone would do like she's laying in bed. She telepaths the whole remote over to her so she doesn't have to get up that sort of thing.

Speaker 1:

By the movie's end she is seduced and tricked into becoming the prom queen. There's this whole prank and carrie says god dang, okay, okay, now y'all finna get. You found me, you found me. Now you finna get what you finna get. And right before she goes apish in the prom, she starts hearing all these voices, all the memories. They're all gonna laugh at you. Plug it, plug it, plug it. They're all gonna laugh at you, plug it. She's hearing all the negativity she's ever heard. This is the same thing that happens to Fallon. I'm like, oh my God, is she going to be telepathic? Unfortunately, that's not the case. Fallon hears he done owned diamonds, he made a pass at me. Fallon, you're irresponsible. All the things that are very, very true.

Speaker 1:

And she does exactly what her brother did, that episode. He got drunk to cuss out his father and then he ran 15 miles to the pool so he could die or drown or what I don't know. I don't know what the goal. Old face Steven did that. She does the same thing. She starts running the Carrington Mile. She starts wailing and flailing outside the hotel. Jeff sees her. He's like oh my God, fallon, stop spazzing out, let me grab you, stop. She don't want to hear that. She starts ripping and running and running and ripping all the way out the hotel.

Speaker 1:

Now Blake is in the back of a limousine. He's almost to the entrance and there's a drunkard who has been kicked out of the hotel but he's not escorted out. There's a difference. Note the distinction. He is kicked out, so valet is perfectly comfortable, even though this man is clearly inebriated. Giving him back his keys to his three city block long Lincoln town car, the man jumps in, he reverses out. He's swiveling and swerving. He didn't need any other car, but because Fallon is running like a maniac to God knows where, why wouldn't you have a private? We're not even going to get into that. She's running. You have a private, we're not even gonna get into that. She's running. Jeff is chasing her and the last thing we see is there's some sort of tire screech. You see Jeff and Fallon I'm betting money that Fallon was pushed in front of that car and you see Blake jump out of the car and say my god end scene. Okay, so maybe it's not Fallon, maybe it's Jeff, because I would think he'd have a better reaction than that, but we don't know. We have our first or second or third cliffhanger of the season right there, right now. Oh, so, so good. By the way, let the record reflect that I think Carrie is a totally underrated movie, and I would like to point out that she was simply defending herself through the entire film.

Speaker 1:

I see no harm if you approach a person with telekinetic powers and you run afoul of them. Please expect the worst. Also, if you get a rando call from someone in New York and you've never reached out to them, baby, don't go on that show. You are going to be embarrassed, I promise you. One way or another, your feelings are going to be hurt, even if they're giving you a makeover or they're telling you that the love of your life is a catfish. All right, guys, that's it, that's all. Join me for the next episode. We're going to jump into an episode of Dallas that I have been dying to talk to you about. In the meantime, in between time, like I said, if a producer calls you baby, don't go. If it is reality TV, don't go there lying, lying, lying to you. Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business and keep all of your drama on TV. Take care.