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S3 EP9 Knots Landing: The Rose and the Briar-The "Gambler, Rambler and Vegas Residency" Episode.

• Jett Shae • Episode 272

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Lily Mae Clements dazzles in this unforgettable episode that showcases her remarkable talent for spinning tall tales into gold. When Valene's irrepressible mother meets Jackson Mobley at a retirement home, it's a match made in con-artist heaven. These kindred spirits recognize the hustler in each other immediately, bonding over their shared gift for fabrication and spinning yarns that grow taller by the minute.<br><br>Their whirlwind romance leads to an impromptu Vegas elopement funded by $200 stolen from Kenny and Ginger's emergency fund. But when their mutual deceptions are revealed – she's not wealthy and he's never managed Patsy Cline – they don't fall apart. Instead, they join forces, with Jackson convincing a Vegas lounge owner that Lily Mae is terminally ill, securing her long-dreamed-of singing opportunity at the Sidewinder Lounge.<br><br>Meanwhile, young Olivia faces ridicule when classmates taunt her about her father potentially kidnapping her, making the upcoming father-daughter dance particularly painful. Valene suggests Gary step in, leading to entertaining rehearsals for their magic act. But there's something brewing beneath the surface as Abby takes a suspicious interest in the arrangements, culminating in her unexpected insertion into what should be just Gary and Olivia's special night.<br><br>The episode masterfully balances comedy with subtle romantic tension, revealing Lily Mae as what the host calls "country dumb" – a woman who doesn't miss a thing despite her seemingly naive exterior. Her ability to transform disaster into opportunity showcases why she's become such a fan favorite, while Abby's lingering glances at Gary hint at potential complications that could rock the cul-de-sac in episodes to come. Subscribe now to follow these intertwining tales of deception, ambition, and unexpected romance!

Speaker 1:

I forgot. Lily Mae was a criminal Out on bail for shot in jail, california dreamin' she shouldn't have got on that bus or crossed state lines. I think that might be a felony, but maybe not in her case. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome and welcome back to another fun-filled edition of SoFloor. I'm your host, jeb, viewing and reviewing the sopiest, suddiest primetime storylines of 1982. We're back on the West Coast, always doing the absolute most in a dream come true for me. So, whether you're new to this or true to this, get back and enjoy. Tell the kids it's time to play outside or, out of sight, tell babe no questions, suggestions or concerns. For the next 25 to 35 minutes, everyone else in Earshot, cool, quiet or Kicked Out are your only options, because we are watching our stories. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is SoFluid. Hello, gorgeous, welcome or welcome back to another fun-filled edition of SoFluid. I hope your day is shaking up well. Mine is looking like it might be all right. I am beyond excited to bring today's episode to you because we get to once again be dazzled by the vocal stylings of Miss Lily Mae. What is Lily Mae's last name? I don't know and I'm afraid to look it up because I'm afraid of spoilers. Thank you for joining me today. If you are new to this, welcome If you are true to this. Thank you so much for all of your well wishes, thoughts and behind the scenes tidbits. I really really appreciate them, especially since I'm afraid of spoilers, which brings me to a fun piece of fan mail, a correction and a little bit of a guess going forward. So go ahead and grab yourself something bubbly and bright, settle in as we jump back into Knot's Landing.

Speaker 1:

Season three, episode nine the Rose and the Briar. I feel like that's a book or something, the Raven and the Briar, something like that. I don't really know what that is. I think a briar is a garden. I might look it up here in a little bit, but in the meantime, in between time, I am beyond excited. Ask children and you will receive. On the last episode, I expressed my absolute need for more of this diamond in the rough, miss lily may, and she does not disappoint this episode. We also get a whole nother crossover. I tell you what the soap opera world is minuscule. It is so tiny. We have another crossover character from dynasty of all places, and he brought me more joy than I deserve on this one too. So let let's jump into some fan mail. I have a couple questions here. All right, my first piece of fan mail today is from Candice. She says hey Jen, my name is Candice and I'm an OG who grew up loving Falcon Crest. I'm so excited, I was so excited to come across your podcast and I think you're doing a great job.

Speaker 1:

After the review of Body Rock, I got a little bit curious about your taste in films from that genre. Are you familiar with any of the John Hughes films and, if so, which ones? Also, since you have a disdain for the 80s, have you found yourself watching any other 80s films since watching the soap operas? Thank you, candace. Well, have I found myself watching any 80s films? Here's the honest truth. I went to look up John Hughes real quick After I got that, because it's like the name sounds familiar. I just I couldn't put a face to the name, and now I realize why. I guess he did all the sort of teen films from the 80s. Yes, I have seen several of those, but I have not seen them recently Other than the Body Rock film. I haven't really gone out of my way to watch any 80s films. It's not a bad idea. I'm kind of liking that idea of maybe watching some 80s teen films, but I think I had a pretty good start with those movies.

Speaker 1:

So here's the thing about being an 80s baby. 90s kids, kid I definitely have seen, like Pretty in Pink. I've watched the Breakfast Club. I've probably seen the Breakfast Club a few times as an adult, maybe within the last five years or so, but I can't say I've fully seen 16 Candles. I know I've seen big chunks of it. I think that is that where she makes the dress. And then I've seen the one where Molly Ringwald was pregnant and she had, like this haughty boyfriend and they were kicked out for being pregnant, as far as I can tell, and they showered in a room with no walls. That's like the distinct memory I have.

Speaker 1:

So, with that being said, I don't know when I saw that I definitely had to been. I don't know if I was three or four and just I have these flashbacks of being in my aunt's living room. I spent a lot of time watching whatever was on HBO. I knew to cover my eyes during the dirty bits because you know, this is the 80s, kids weren't super precious then I either had to go outside or cover my face with a blanket if a kissing scene or something came up and, sadly, sad to say, I still may or may not fast forward through those parts. Now, like as an adult, even if they're kissing a little bit too long on TV, I'm like, oh, I feel weird, I feel like I need to cover my eyes or do something else. That's so funny. I'm totally not approved, I promise. But no, yeah, I've definitely seen those movies, as a matter of fact.

Speaker 1:

Sadly, today, as I was recording, I saw the news about Val Kilmer and just, oh, makes me so, so sad. I hate to hear that. He's one of the first movies I remember he was in one of the first movies I remember watching. I definitely remember Lost Boys because I thought the one, the blonde kid who turned out to be Bill or Ted from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, was in it and I thought he was so cute.

Speaker 1:

I watched a movie with a guy in Val Kilmer about science. Now, I could have sworn this was Sarah Jessica Parker's little brother. Don't ask me where I got that idea. I guess I saw an interview with her at some point where she said she had a brother and in my mind, I just made that kid her brother. He's totally not her brother, but I remember Val Kilmer made a house. He didn't make it explode but he like filled it with popcorn and I remember being very, very impressed by that. I don't even think I was in kindergarten yet, being a very small kid thinking like, wow, this is what science is. And you know what I've loved science ever since. I'm going to have to do a little tribute to him because I have truly, truly enjoyed his work over the years. I watched the documentary after he got sick and he had the surgery and just what a oh God made me real, real, real sad.

Speaker 1:

But to answer your question, I have definitely seen a lot of 80s films. As a matter of fact, I could probably put together a quick little list and, for whatever reason, I really enjoyed those. But, um, yeah, I hadn't gone back as an adult. After watching the soap operas I feel like I've been more honed in on the shows. Hadn't really made me want to watch any film that I hadn't already seen.

Speaker 1:

Next piece of fan mail comes from Joseph. Joseph says hey, jet, I'm a millennial, also an 80s baby, 90s kid, and I'm watching these shows for the first time and having a great time. And in parentheses, it says I'm new to this. Soon to be true to this. I wanted to know how you avoid spoilers. How have you been able to enjoy the show without running into any obvious plot twists or giveaways? Joseph, I'm glad you asked. It's a very good question and I think here's the thing With these shows being, most of them being at least 40 years old, I don't feel like they come up in general conversation. But you're right, the longer I watch them, the more like my Google algorithm has changed a little bit. I've noticed the other day, I think Dallas just turned 47.

Speaker 1:

So if what I do? If I see something that comes across my timeline or comes across my news feed, I will only read the title, because titles very rarely give you any other sort of giveaway. I think the only way to do it is you just can't go digging too deeply a character, like if I'm eulogizing someone whose character died on the show, I'll go to like Wikipedia and maybe just read the first little bit or just go to their body of work. You got to skip over the bigger bits because they might give it away. You can do like read their early years, read things like that. I've been very, very lucky as far as not having any major spoilers spoiled for me. Again, I don't go looking, I don't know. You just you gotta stay vigilant, my friend. You, just you gotta, you gotta stay vigilant. That's all I can say, especially if you're not like I'm reviewing them, so I have to take the pace a little bit slower. I think I would probably burn through these really quickly otherwise. Um, but I like the pace I'm going.

Speaker 1:

I think originally I wanted to do it every week so that it would feel as authentic as it did when they aired, and that's been pretty good. Like, I enjoy the buildup and the anticipation but, yeah, be very careful, don't put too many people on to it. I've already told some friends and then we wanted to talk about it. I'm like, listen, don't say nothing to me. I can't, I can't hear that. Don't talk to me, don't say anything. Also, seeing pictures of the cast has come up a little bit more lately for me and, um, I always look, but I don't really think a lot about it. But now that I've seen um, I think it was like from season two to three of Dynasty. I'm like, oh okay, there were giveaways there.

Speaker 1:

But if you don't know, you don't know. Things are just going to go over your head. You don't really know. So, joseph, do your best to not go digging too deeply and you should be fine. Only look at people after they've been kicked off the show, hopefully. And even there I start to get a little bit nervous because my own theory about soap poppers is that nobody's ever really really gone. You never know if they're going to pop up at another time. So just be careful. I don't know. That's my only advice. Be careful. All right, if you have any questions, concerns or tips, you can send us a text. Just check the show notes if you're listening on your mobile device, and you can always email us at soplorepodcast at gmailcom.

Speaker 1:

Let's get into Lily Mae, y'all. Lily Mae oh my god. For someone like me who's an elder millennial, it's not a far concept for me to sort of grasp the thought that a parent could be absolutely not obsessed with their child. I think as the years have gone by, I'd say after the 2000s, parents have sort of focused in on the kids a little bit more. But I don't feel like I was the center of anyone's world growing up, and that's not a bad thing? It's not a bad thing at all. I had time to develop myself. I had a lot of free time where I had to discover things about myself, and I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. Lily Mae is a quintessential I guess she is. I don't know if she's silent generation. I feel like she'd be a little bit older than that. But Lily Mae had a baby and what? That's not her problem, that is the baby's problem. I gave birth to you. What else do you want from me?

Speaker 1:

So at the the top of this episode we get to see Valene, lily Mae and Karen in a little coop and Valene is on her way to drop Lily Mae off, whose last name is Clements. I saw it in the opening credits. I went back. Lily Mae Clements is volunteering her precious time at an old folks home and she's going on and on with Karen about how important it is to spend time with the elderly. Such a good thing, it does so good things, but my spirit is so wonderful. And then Karen is buying into this and she says yeah, I was a candy stripper myself. Here's the thing Lily Mae is magic, whether you want to accept it or not. The only person who sees through Lily Mae fully is Valene, because she is blood of her blood, flesh of her flesh.

Speaker 1:

But I was fully convinced at the top of this episode that Lily Mae was running yet another scam. I thought she was having Valene drop her off at the old people's home only so she could skedaddle somewhere else and run some sort of scam. That's not the case. She actually goes into the old people's home and it's worth noting that. Oh gosh, if I had to guess, lily Mae's probably about 52 years old, which is not anywhere near being. I mean, she's not an elderly woman, she's an older woman. She's definitely not geriatric in any way. She's young, she's vibrant, she's having a good time and she has washed the the foam curls out of her hair. I knew that was a wet set. I know a foam roller set when I see it.

Speaker 1:

She didn't commit to the perm because Lily Mae Clements don't commit to anything. Mylene is all too happy to drop her off. She tells Karen girl, oh my god, when I tell you the old people home didn't come soon enough, baby girl, I can't take, I can't stand this woman. I am so proud to drop her off. Any opportunity I get I'll do it again and again, praise the Lord for the geriatrics. I second that, valene. I second that. That's neither here nor there. Because old people love a good story, they love company, they're lonely. You know what I'm saying, and Lily Mae understands that.

Speaker 1:

One of the lessons I've learned as I've grown older is that sometimes people don't really want a solution. Sometimes people just want an audience, and that's exactly what the elderly are offering Lily Mae Clements. So she's in there during the bingo game and she is killing it. She is working the room like a pro and she happens upon a gentleman who's a little bit rough around the edges, wearing a cap, and he says hey, I really dig you. And I'm looking at him. I said wait a minute, hold up, wait a minute. I know that ain't. I know that ain't. We're just gonna be a new series. I know that ain't Jack from Dynasty not Allegra's kidnapper, baby, it is Allegra's kidnapper.

Speaker 1:

Immediately my heckles were up. I was like, oh my God, lily Maeve, I don't know nothing else. I know you're smarter than this. But here's the thing when you want an audience, maybe you don't really care if that audience is genuine or not. If you want the applause, you're going to get the applause.

Speaker 1:

So she and Jack from Dynasty start to exchange a few pleasantries oh, you're cute, you're cute, we're good, we're good. Hey, why don't you come over to my daughter's house for dinner? They take a long walk in the park and Lily Mae is all too eager to say you know what? I come for money. Now Jack, whose name escapes me on this show, is like word you come from money. She said. Well, I don't really come from money. What happened was my daughter married one of the Texas Ewing's. So the implication is that she is a wealthy woman well unbeknownst to her, or or not really, we'll get to that later. Jack from Dynasty, the horse kidnapper, is like oh, let me turn up my charm. So there's this running joke that the Rock is the exact same person in every single movie. He just takes off a jacket or puts on a jacket. This is no different.

Speaker 1:

Jack from Dynasty, circa 1984, is Jackson on Knott's Landing circa 1982. He's still involved in nefarious activities. He's still a scoundrel, but you know what he is. He is taken aback by the dazzling personality of Miss Lillian May Clements. They fall in love over a bingo game. They wax poetic about their past endeavors. Apparently to her, mr Jackson Mobley used to be a big time music executive in Nashville, tennessee. Now that is music to a person like Lily Mae's ears, because guess where she's been trying to hustle and make it big? Nashville, tennessee, because she is a country and western star. After a back and forth with many, many tall tales, she invites him over to dinner.

Speaker 1:

Now it occurred to me that Texas is a unique state. It's unique because it's so large. There are four different terrains in Texas, and Texas likes to indoctrinate their children while they're in school with Texas history, which includes something called a tall tale. Now, we all understand these stories aren't 100% factual, but they are intended to give a moral or historical lesson, if you're willing to accept it. Tall tales are a vital part of the Texas backbone. Now Ms DiMobile is an expert on tall tales.

Speaker 1:

Now here's a gotcha. Gotcha, as I've learned about Lily Mae, the more I see her, the more I understand that this woman is what you would call country dumb. She's not missing a damn thing. She is absorbing everything. She understands the assignment, she knows what's going on at all times. So I fully didn't expect a hustler like Mobley to get one over on her, but again, like I said at the top of the episode.

Speaker 1:

She doesn't want a solution, she wants an audience. She is at the point in her life where her daughter is telling her to suck it up and get real. But she needs someone to believe in her dreams. So perhaps they have a mutual exchange here. He knows he's full of ish. He knows that she knows he's full of ish, but she indulges him either way. She knows that he knows she's full of ish, but he indulges her either way. Now is this simpatico or is this a fiasco in the making? Time will tell. In the meantime, in between time, we have a subplot Little Olivia. Olivia has brought us at least three different storylines and I've enjoyed each and every one of them.

Speaker 1:

Apparently, olivia is back on the cul-de-sac, she's on the mend. She's got a broken arm and she seems to be healing well physically, but mentally things aren't so great. So Abby meets her at the bus stop and Olivia jumps off the bus. There's another little girl who's ahead of her with her mother and she's like bye, olivia. Olivia ignores her, so she says it louder bye, olivia. And Olivia looks over like that's cute. Abby says Olivia, what's wrong? Olivia says you know what? Sarah Ames is a giant baby.

Speaker 1:

It appears that Olivia has ops all over the elementary school. She she can't even live her life in peace. All she wants to do is get an education, eat a little lunch, have a little play date, but her ops won't let her live. Abby says girl, what's wrong? Olivia says you know what? Sarah Ames told the entire class that I can't be at the father-daughter dance because my dad is liable to kidnap me. Ooh, I know we're supposed to hate Sarah Ames and Ada Bixby. She called both of them big babies. But I hear no lies. Your father is liable to kidnap you, which is why your mother had to press charges, which is why he can't be at the father-daughter dance. That is at his own demise. That is at his own hands. I don't blame Abby for that at all. It is what it is. I stand with Abby.

Speaker 1:

But Abby starts to thinking like, damn, not having their dad in their life is going to really suck. I did not think of the immediate consequences. So she ends up having a brief conversation with Val about it and Val's like, hey, why not bring Gary in? And Gary can fill in, he can do whatever he needs to do, because Olivia's like yo, not everybody has a daddy. Some people have stepdaddies, some people have their mom's boyfriend, other people are coming I have no one and then Sid's dead, so her uncle can't even show up. Her cousins are far too young to represent her as, like, a father figure. So the only person left is Gary, according to Valene.

Speaker 1:

Now Abby's like are you sure? Now I was thinking to myself. I would double think that too, because yes, gary has a daughter, but he's a crappy dad. I almost lost my religion real quick. He's never raised anybody. Yeah, he might be, he's, he's fine, he's okay, he's fine. But is he good with children? We'll never know, because he's only spent like 48 hours with his own daughter. I thought he was a poor choice. I would have gone with maybe a Kenny or a Richard, because Kenny's on his new daddy daycare a bit. But no, they decide that Gary.

Speaker 1:

So Darlene fills Gary and he's like baby, why would you? Why would you say that? Why would I do that? I don't want to go over there and help that woman. She's like please just do it for Olivia. You know, val loves the kids, she loves the cheering. So he goes over and he and Olivia work out this beautiful sort of magician shtick and it's really good. And Abby sees it. She's like, yeah, this is perfection. I'm going to be honest, I watched this entire episode.

Speaker 1:

I didn't really think much of it until like halfway through there's a scene where things are going on with Lily Mae that require Gary's attention. Abby comes into the file cabinet room. She's talking to Gary Now he doesn't see he's Gary's kind of dense. He's not really thinking about much, he's just handling the task at hand. And Abby's like well, are you going to be able to help my daughter? She's going to be so disappointed. You have to show up. She's going to be so disappointed. And he's basically telling her listen, I might need to take care of some other business which we will get into in a second Right.

Speaker 1:

And I didn't think Abby was all that I don't know. I didn't think she was all that eager. I wasn't really clocking much. But I clocked Karen in the background. So I'm like, oh, something's going on here. So Karen interrupts and then she's like am I interrupting Abby's? Not, abby don't care. Y'all know Abby don't give a damn. She gonna do what she needs to do and she moves on and it's at this point I remember that Abby was a little bit sweet on Gary at some point but I thought it was a moot point after the whole FBI came in to investigate the stolen parts thing. I don't really feel like there's been much chemistry, so much so that I've totally forgotten about it.

Speaker 1:

We're eight episodes into season three. I didn't think anything of it. But Karen in the background is like, uh, is everything cool? And then she gives Gary a warning. She's like listen, abby has a way of making things happen, something to that effect. I'm not giving you verbatim, you'll have to watch to see what she says exactly.

Speaker 1:

Okay, let's get back to Lily Mae. So I want you to keep in mind that Lily Mae is inviting this man over. Mowgli's going to come over and eat, but they have already had a little lunchy poo in the park and she tells him that, oh, she and Valene were down home people before Valene married into the Ewing family and Ewing money or no, valene needs her mother. You know she's been a devoted mother. Lily Mae is Been a devoted mother.

Speaker 1:

I even gave up my singing career to come and help her. That's wolf ticket number one. Back in my day, or I guess back in my grandmother's day, she'd say you're selling wolf tickets Like you're lying, like the big bad wolf trying to get in your house. You're selling wolf tickets. So Lily Mae said yeah, I gave up my singing career. I'm a country and western star. I gave up my whole career to come help my daughter. And he said no kidding, you know, I used to be an artist manager. Matter of fact, I managed Patsy Cline before she died. She was going to come to my house. No, a couple things happened to me. When I watch this show I feel my accidents start to kind of seep through. But I think it's because I've spent so much time with old people and I definitely know some old hustles, and that's exactly the type of thing somebody like that would say.

Speaker 1:

But granted, this is 1982, there's no internet, there's no. Uh, I mean, you got to send a letter to get a lot of information out to people. Not everybody has a TV. At this point he can pretty much say whatever he wants. Who's going to check him? Who's going to pull the records? So this starts making.

Speaker 1:

You know, lily May is like oh my God, oh my God, oh, happy day, I'm about to get paid, I'm about to be a superstar. That's when she invites him over to dinner. So when she comes bursting in the house valine has just told gary that he needs to help olivia out and he's like man, I ain't trying to be with them. Kids, go tell her somebody else, get somebody else to do it. She's like no, just do it, figure it out. Well, lily may comes in and he's like hey, lily, may you look good, he likes browling her up and damn it if I don't like him riling her up a little bit.

Speaker 1:

So Lily Mae's like baby, can I help? Val's like no, you could. She don't want her in her kitchen. Girl, just, I didn't even know you was home. No, well, listen, I got company coming over. He's an artist manager. He's gonna help me in my career.

Speaker 1:

And Val's like I know you lying. Why didn know you lying? Why didn't you call mama? Why didn't you tell me? Well, you weren't here when I got home. And Valene's like because I was out buying dinner for three people. What am I going to do with a fourth person? Well, we're having chicken fricassee at fricassee fricassee, something like that. And Valene's like yeah, I am preparing chicken fricassee, lily. I am preparing chicken fricassee.

Speaker 1:

Lily Mae's like well, just add some more rice in, it'll be fine. He's coming over anyway. Oh, and also follow my lead. Whatever I say, just nod and agree. So Eveline already knows it's going to be some bull. And my heart, I'm having a good time. But Val is like, oh my God, gary, gary, you better get your mother-in-law, sweet jesus, you better get this woman. You better get her before I get her. Lily may is tap dancing and fiddle deeing all over valine's last nerve. So now she's got to scramble and stretch out this meal. That really should be for two people, but mama is a squatter. Now it's gonna have to be for four. This is amazing. So they sit down to eat.

Speaker 1:

Gary, valine, jackson mogley and loretta lend me a dollar herself. And jackson mogley starts telling this tale about how, when he was a kid, he was on his uncle's farm and this chicken laid these glowing, dark eggs. They were so bright, so vibrant, that they used those eggs to light up the house for the rest of the summer. Now Gary cackles at this. He's a Texan. He's like that is the tallest tail I've ever heard. And Jackson's like no, it ain't. This is the honest to God's truth. But it's all in fun. Everybody knows he's, you know, looks like oh my gosh. She's just rubbing her head like oh my god, how did I end up with two of these people? And she's right, lily Mae had said at some point she's like I knew I felt a kindred spirit because he told her he was a an artist manager or something. But the truth is it takes one to know one, a hustler, that is.

Speaker 1:

So Val tells Gary hey, it's time to get over, go over and help Olivia with her project. She thinks she's going to go in the kitchen and wash dishes and then just sort of slip into bed. Lily Mae has other plans. Oh, valene, thank you so much for helping me make dinner. Wolf ticket number three. And Val looks like girl, you don't, okay, yeah, yeah, I helped, something like that. Lily Mae says put down them dishes, bow, come, come in the living room with mr mogli and listen to me sing. I can tell in that moment she would have. Oh god, she wishes she was gary so bad. So they go in the living room and you know exactly what song she sings.

Speaker 1:

The prettiest thing I ever did see was the clouds drifting high in the pine country. That's my jam. I don't care what anybody says, I love it, I love it. Once the guy leaves, valene is like mama, please that man. Everything he said was a lie. She's a little girl. You just don't understand men. You don't understand a man like him. He's a visionary. You're not a visionary like me and him you don't understand.

Speaker 1:

Side note, though, um valine is wearing this outfit. It's like these gray pants and a not so much a suit jacket, maybe sort of a members only jacket, but it's cut to fit a woman. It's a very feminine cut jacket. It's like a windbreaker material. I think I love it. I've never seen anything like it. Now, granted, I can't hear the swish, swish, swish when she walks. So maybe it's not windbreaker material, but it is cute, cute, cute. Do yourself a favor and watch this episode. It is so cute, okay.

Speaker 1:

So Lily Mae and Mr Mosley continue to get along. They get along so much that they are asked to babysit Ginger and Kenny's baby while they go out and have themselves a good time. Now Ginger can't wait to drop this crying baby, baby in two names. Lily Mae comes over and brings Mosley. Now Lily Mae goes in the kitchen immediately. You can tell this is the type of woman she is. Ginger and Kenny say help yourself to whatever, we'll be back early. Yes, people mean that, but they also don't mean like, don't go crazy. Obviously, restrain yourself.

Speaker 1:

Lily Mae immediately goes to the kitchen and starts to prepare some snacks. So let me raid this refrigerator real quick, mr Mosley. Well, I guess the sticky finger spirit was upon Mr Mosley, because he immediately starts snooping around like hey, this place is pretty nice. He opens a coffee can behind the couch and there's some money in it. Now, to my naked eye, I saw five. I'm thinking this is probably I don't know probably $25 at most, it's not. He quickly stuffs it away in his pocket and by the time Lily Mae returns from her cabinet, reading the cheese tray, jackson Mowgli has a bright idea.

Speaker 1:

Say Lily Mae, I know we've only known each other 14 minutes. Why don't we go get married, married? Why would I get married? Yeah, we're not getting any younger. Let's go to Vegas, then we'll go on to Nashville and make you a superstar. This little bit of money in his pocket has changed everything for him. Yeah, baby, I got money. Now, he didn't tell her that. Let me be very clear. She doesn't know he took any money.

Speaker 1:

So the next day she quietly packs up some clothes, meets him at the bus stop and they take the longest Greyhound bus ride in the history of history to Las Vegas. Now, I didn't think that was that hard to get to Vegas. I feel like if you're anywhere in the Southwest you can fly pretty easily, even if you rode a bus. I don't think it will be all day and all night. So while Lily Mae is sitting in her seat serenading small children with her, all her songs are about dying or death or something. As she serenades the children on the bus, tell me why Jackson Mowgli is in the back back of the bus slinging dice. What is that crap? Snake eyes, whatever that game is. He's rolling the dice. He rolls the dice for the entire duration of this trip, so much so that by the time they get to Vegas he's running low on cash. Let's go back to the cul-de-sac, because we've got to tie all this together. So Lily Mae didn't tell Valene anything.

Speaker 1:

So Valene is in the kitchen preparing dinner for three. Gary comes home and he's like hey, where's your mama? Because I don't know. I see my mama all day. Oh, so she's not here. No, she's not here. So he's like hey, uh, you know what I'm saying. You know. I said I've been working out. Why don't we go upstairs and take a nap. Wink, wink, gary, I can't, I'm cooking. Well, he starts, you know he starts. Um, he knows how to use his hands or whatever. He's caressing her and before you know it, she's like you know what the hell with this chicken? Come on, gary.

Speaker 1:

Gary has been relatively quiet this entire season, but on this show, on this episode, we see the triumphant return of the baby blue boy shorts, the teeny, tiny shorts he likes to sleep in. This man comes out of the bathroom with a robe, stands in front of the bed and disrobes. Now I would think, okay, we're not going to go there In your own house. Why would you bother putting on a robe? Maybe it's to dry off, maybe not, I don't know. He wants the audience to remember that he is fine, fine, okay. Looks like he shaved his chest a little bit. He got a little tan. He makes sure to flex when he gets in the bed, even turns over.

Speaker 1:

This is the night previous. He turns over on the side. Hey, valine, could you rub my arm? Well, this gives him the opportunity to hoist his head up with his arm and flex, so we can see. Oh, we, we get it, gary, you fine, fine. We get it, gary, you fine, fine, we get it.

Speaker 1:

Once they get through taking a nap, ow, they're eating dinner. And he's like damn Val, this chicken is dry, she goes. Well, you know, it was in the oven an extra 30 minutes, he's all. Yeah, that's right, man, I get it. I get it, you're hot, gary, we get it.

Speaker 1:

So while they were doing the half hour horizontal hustle, kenny also steps out of the shower at his house. This is now. This is day of. This is the day that lily may has got on the bus. He steps out of his shower and he says hey, ginger, you got any money. I didn't get to stop by the bank today.

Speaker 1:

She's busy trying to get a bigger booty for the summer, doing all sorts of weird like leg movements and stuff to stack the thing up. She's busy trying to get a bigger booty for the summer, doing all sorts of weird, like leg movements and stuff to stack the thing up. She's like uh, no, why don't you just take it from our emergency? Can they have a little banter back and forth? But if we keep taking money we'll never have any. She goes. I put thirty dollars in there yesterday, it's fine. So he goes to the can and it's empty, empty. He goes no, you must have used it on something. No, she. She says no, no, no, I definitely put $30 in there yesterday. It can't be gone. The only people who were here were, and she doesn't say it. She's like no, it couldn't have been Lily Mae, she's too nice to do something like that.

Speaker 1:

Kenny said well, you remember she did steal that scarf. And Ginger's like damn, yeah, she did. Let the record reflect. According to lily may, she didn't steal the scarf. She simply took it from its location inside the store, stuffed it within her breast pocket, walked outside so she could see it in the light of day, never mind the big picture window. Well, kenny's, like you know, I don't think lily may would have taken the money, but what about that weirdo she was with? And then she said I don't know, I don't think Lily Mae would have taken the money, but what about that weirdo she was with? And then she said I don't know, I don't know him like that. Maybe, maybe not.

Speaker 1:

So they go over to Gary and Valene's. Kenny does, and he's like hey, what do you know about that guy that's dating Lily Mae? Valene hears this, she goes well, I don't know much about him. Kenny explains the situation. She's like oh mama, all day I don't know where they're at. Gary had driven Mobley home, or at least he thought he did. So Valene suggests that they go over to Mobley's house to maybe just talk to him, see if Lily Mae is over there. Now the truth of the matter is that Gary did drop him off at a place, but Mobley never actually walked inside. It wasn't his real house. So they really are none the wiser about where he lives.

Speaker 1:

At one point Val was really concerned that he might live in a scatheed neighborhood. Does he have a nice house? Did you meet his son and such? And Gary's just kind of sniggling the whole time. Gary's doing whatever. He's told this whole episode. He doesn't really talk a lot, unless he's trying to get Valene in the sack and remind the rest of the audience that he's fine, fine. So he ends up going over to the house with Kenny and of course they're not there.

Speaker 1:

Now Val's getting worried. Kenny suggests that they call the police. Val's like I can't, mama's on parole. I forgot Lily Mae was a criminal Out on bail for shot in jail California, dreaming she shouldn't have got on that bus or crossed state lines. I think that might be a felony, but maybe not in her case. So eventually Lily Mae does call and Valene is like Mama, where are you? I can't believe you left all day and didn't say nothing. Lily Mae's like don't worry about that. Now I'm telling you where I'm at. I'm at the Alhambra Hotel in Las Vegas. I'm about to marry. Mr Mowgli. Val's like what, gary? We got to go. They hang up, they get in the car and they make it to Vegas in 15 minutes.

Speaker 1:

Now this, of course, puts a damper on the Olivia magic show plans. Gary briefly explains as he and Val are hustling out of the house to Abby Listen, we got to go take care of something with Lily Mae. We'll be back as soon as we can. Are you going to make the show? I don't know. We'll be back as soon as we can.

Speaker 1:

So meanwhile in Vegas, mowgli's at the slot machine just dropping quarter after quarter after quarter, losing and losing, and losing. Lily Mae goes over to him and says hey, honey, let's go ahead and check in. I need to freshen up. He goes oh no, honey, I'd like to do a little bit more gambling. If you don't mind, we'll go up in a minute. She's like no, no, I need to freshen up. Let's go up now, let's go ahead and check in. It was okay.

Speaker 1:

Well, we'll have to use your credit card because they don't take cash here. She's like credit card. Yeah, your your credit card, you're rich, you ain't, don't? You have a credit card? Maybe? No, like I said before, I don't. I don't have money like that. Now here's a funny part. She did explain to him when she initially met him that she and that Valene were down home folks. Valene married into the Texas Ewing's. She never said she was rich, but it was an assumption.

Speaker 1:

He brings up her wealth one more time and she doesn't say anything. She doesn't correct him and say hey, no, no, no, I don't have money like that. It's just, you know, she's attached, my daughter is to this wealthy oil family. Well, lily Mae said no, sir, I don't have no credit card. Let me just, I might as well tell you this I'm as poor as a church mouse. I don't have any money. He goes well, I might as well tell you this I don't have any money, basically the money I had I've lost in the back of the bus. And she goes oh, you're some gambler. Then like, yeah, I lied to you about that. I don't really have no money.

Speaker 1:

So Lily Mae doesn't take it personal. She busts out laughing like well, hell, I was lying to impress you. I thought you were gonna elevate my career. I lied about everything. And he goes hell, I lied too. Matter of fact, I've never been a music producer in my life. Well, they get a good old raucous laugh out of this. I'm like wow, lily Mae is unfadable. This is where this woman turns lemons into organic deep tissue peel. She's that good. This is why I know this woman is gonna be all right.

Speaker 1:

My mom used to have this thing like if you did something dumb, she'd be like you ought to be shocked, shamed and embarrassed. Lily Mae is neither shocked, nor is she shamed, nor is she embarrassed about anything. So she's like hey, way I see it, jackson, you're a liar, I'm a liar, I've been spinning tall tales. You're a silver tongue devil. Both. Both of us are old. Both of us have clearly gotten away with this for decades. Why don't we combine forces and just lean into our natural gifts? Ie lying and he's like that's a hell of an idea, let's do it. So she coaches him on what to say. She's like I want to sing at the sidewinder, I'm going to sit out here on this bench. I, winder, I'm going to sit out here on this bench. I want you to go inside and do exactly as I say. And I tell you what. You shouldn't be proud of a liar, but I was dang proud of him.

Speaker 1:

Jackson Mowgli gets in front of the I guess, the owner of the hotel, and he's like hey, you really need to hear my woman, lily Mae. She is an incredible, just diamond in the rough type of talent. She really needs to sing her own lounge. And it was like man, don't nobody want to hear nobody's grandma sing, mogul? He says no, you don't understand. Not only is she incredibly talented, but we've been married 30 years and she's got a terminal illness. She don't have much longer. It is her dream to sing in this fine hotel and I really think your patrons will enjoy that. You're a married man, right? And the owner's like yeah, I am he. Well, wouldn't you do just anything and I mean absolutely anything to make your wife's dream come true?

Speaker 1:

Sold, before you know it, lily Mae, lily Mae has her first Vegas residency. Even if it is for one day during happy hour, don't matter, she's in there now, baby, she's in there. You can't tell her nothing. I guess if you stay ready you don't have to get ready because it takes no time at all for Lily Mae to put on a three-tier puff sleeve, sweetheart neckline prairie dress and that wig that what's her name? Velma? Do y'all remember that show Mama's Family, the lady who was the son's wife? What was his name? Vance, I get that and reba mixed up. Anyway, she used to have this really curly sort of mulledy long hairdo. Look like lily may. Stacked three church lady grandma wigs on top of each other. But she looked cute, don't get her twisted. She was in there when I tell you what she put on a great show. Everybody seemed to really really be into it.

Speaker 1:

Gary and val make it right about the time she lands on stage, right? I guess val just knew my mama has slithered her way into the sidewinder. She probably told gary gary, look for a crowd of people listening to mama sing about the dead hollows or whatever. So they get into the lounge and Lily Mae is killing it. She's at the final few notes of her song and, for whatever reason, val is not embarrassed by this song. She doesn't look mortified, she's actually feeling it.

Speaker 1:

There's a drunk man shouting at the top of his lung he needs his three dollar drink ticket. Hey, shut up, shut up, sit down. That's my mom up there saying it Be quiet. He obliges her. He doesn't try to fight her. He's like oh okay, my bad, sorry.

Speaker 1:

Well, right about this time Mr Mosley decides it's time for him to skedaddle into the wind. Once Lily Mae gets off stage, she chases them down outside and he says you know what, honey, the best thing in your life will be just to leave me. By the way, I stole $200 from your neighbor, so you know I got to be on the run. Lily Mae's probably thinking well, hell, I guess I can pay for that out of my residency money, but I also should probably get back to California. I'm definitely on parole and I don't want Valene to call my PO, so I got to go. I don't want Valene to call my PO, so I gotta go.

Speaker 1:

They make it back to Knott's Landing just in time for Gary to take Olivia to her daddy-daughter date. Because of this scene, I decided I was gonna go back and pay a little bit more attention to Abby throughout the rest of this episode. Gary goes into the house, he puts on a magician's costume that Abby bought. Olivia comes out. She looks adorable in her little magic girl outfit. She climbs in the back of Gary's coop because she knows her mom is coming. Naval and Lily Mae are fussing over how cute Olivia is, wishing everybody good luck.

Speaker 1:

It's very much understood that nobody but the daddies and the daughters are invited, so you can imagine everyone's surprised when Abby comes tearing out of the house and she jumps in the front seat with Gary and she goes see Olivia, we're just like a real family. And Val said well, I thought it was only daddies and daughters. Abby says well, yeah, but I'm serving cake, so I get to go. I'm not going to lie to you. I'm not going to lie to you.

Speaker 1:

When I saw that, when I saw the two of them in the front seat, my heart dropped. I had like that. You know that Dolby Digital, that sound. My heart dropped. I was like, oh no, oh no. Gary, mind you, is not. He's just kind of doing what he's told. He doesn't seem to care. He's not really paying attention to Abby. He's just kind of doing what he's told. He doesn't seem to care. He's not really paying attention to Abby, he just looks at Valene Baby. We'll be home in a little bit later. No big deal. Olivia doesn't seem to be bothered. But it's just something about the way Abby is looking in the front. She's way too giddy.

Speaker 1:

So it made me Now, lily Mae, as'm like okay, yeah, I had forgotten that Abby was a little bit sweet on him. It seemed like they forgot, like that was a non-factor after the whole Sid death and she almost got Gary put in jail. I hadn't thought about it again since then. But because of the scene I go back and I look at the scenes that Abby's in a little more carefully, because I had originally thought that the whole Olivia needs a daddy daughter date with Gary was all Val's idea. In my mind. Val was like she's the one who brought it up, she's the one who insisted, she's the one who brought it to Gary. Gary was like no, she's like shut up Gary, you're gonna do it. He ends up.

Speaker 1:

I didn't feel like Abby was particularly flirty when Gary went over to practice with Olivia. I didn't really think so. I don't know. I'm just telling you right now I don't like it. I don't know. But I feel like if Abby decides, if she decides she wants him, I guarantee you she's going to get him. I don't like, like it and I think that'd be hella messy, surely I you know what. I can't even say not, surely? Not because she is the bad girl. I'm sorry if she thinks, if she wants it, I bet it's gonna happen. Plus, karen said something and then Lily Mae said something.

Speaker 1:

Lily Mae is the the determining factor for me because, like I said, that's country dumb. She's not missing nothing. She ain't missing a damn thing. I don't like it, but we'll have to see how that goes.

Speaker 1:

Man, a lot of times when I'm watching these shows, I envy you OGs, anybody who got to watch this in real time. I'm like man, what a time to be alive, allegedly. But today I'm really, really happy that I got to watch it the way I did, because I can stop, I can rewind, I can revisit these things. I don't have to wait, you know, seven or eight months for the summer to hit and me to watch the repeats, hopefully, to hopefully be home. It's a lot of work. There's a lot of work back in the day, and I'm even more pleased that Lily Mae had a feature episode. She did not disappoint. I am fully enjoying this storyline. All right, guys, that's it. That's all.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for joining me today. Remember to check the show notes if you want to send me a text. I also want to say that if you send me a text and I don't text back, please don't take it personal. Like you, I literally can't, but I will always acknowledge you on the air and thank y'all for being so wonderful. I'm learning so much about these shows, especially the OGs.

Speaker 1:

Y'all aren't giving anything away and that's the difference. I'll say this, joseph, you asked how I'm avoiding all the spoilers. I think the trick, in addition to being diligent, in addition to not going poking and looking for answers, the trick really is you got to connect if you need to, and trust me, I get it, which is why I'm on this microphone talking now. You got to connect with real fans, because a real fan is not. They don't want to spoil anything for you. They want you to experience it like they did. That's the real trick. In the meantime, in between times, stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business, unless, of course, a little old lady and her sticky fingers geriatric boyfriend steal money from your house and you gotta get all of in their business and keep all of your drama on TV. Bye.