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S4 EP18 DYNASTY; The Vigil- The " Clumsy Carrington Coma Curse" Episode

• Jett Shae • Episode 273

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Welcome Back Soap Fiends!

A seemingly ordinary day at La Mirage turns catastrophic when Fallon Carrington, devastated by Peter DeFilippes' betrayal, races into the parking lot and ends up in a coma after a mysterious accident. Was it simply a collision with a drunk driver's car, or did Jeff Colby—who was suspiciously close to her when it happened—have something to do with it?<br><br>The drama intensifies as Blake Carrington launches into full revenge mode, tracking Peter to the Denver airport where a shocking confrontation unfolds. In one of the most satisfying takedowns of the season, Peter's attempt to flee with stolen millions is thwarted when airport security discovers his cocaine stash—proving that even international playboys make amateur mistakes when they're high. Blake's confrontation with Peter reveals not just the depths of a father's rage, but the embarrassing reality that Peter planned to escape on a commercial flight rather than a private jet with his ill-gotten gains.<br><br>Meanwhile, the Carrington mansion becomes a hotbed of scheming and surprising alliances. Kirby Anders, still recovering from her miscarriage, makes a cold, calculated decision to propose a loveless marriage to Adam Carrington. Her newfound pragmatism signals a dramatic character shift that could reshape Denver's social landscape. Elsewhere in the mansion, Adam finally confesses to poisoning Jeff with mercuric oxide paint, only to immediately retract his admission when Jeff refuses to accept his apology—showcasing the psychological warfare that defines Carrington relationships.<br><br>The episode culminates with Fallon awakening from her coma, immediately rejecting Alexis's presence at her bedside while accepting Jeff's comfort. This moment of vulnerability sets the stage for shifting alliances and the inevitable power struggles that will follow. Who will emerge victorious from this web of revenge, ambition, and unexpected proposals? Tune in to discover how the Carringtons navigate these treacherous waters of wealth and betrayal.

Speaker 1:

Dancing on her daddy's plane. He's all, and I swear to you, he goes, jeffrey, what are you thinking of? Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome, or welcome back, to Soap Lord, the official gathering place for newbies, novices and OG diehard fans of the golden age of primetime. Gathering place for newbies, novices and OG diehard fans of the golden age of primetime. I'm your host, Jed, viewing and reviewing one of the soapiest, sudziest, mildly confusing episodes from 1984. So, whether you're new to this or true to this, sit back and enjoy. Tell the kids it's time to play outside or out of sight. Tell babe no questions, suggestions or concerns for the next 25 to 35 minutes. Everyone else in airshot. Be cool, quiet or you will be kicked out Because we are watching our stories. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is Soap Floor. Hello, gorgeous, welcome back, party people to another fun-filled edition of Soap More.

Speaker 1:

I am still riding high of a Lily Mae Vegas residency. I'm going to have to go back and see who wrote that episode. That was a dang good time From top to bottom, but there was something about the episode that was just kind of nagging at me. It's not the obvious. The more I sleep on it, I'm not really worried about too much on the show. I am willing to see, I'm excited to see how it unfolds. Maybe we'll have us a little cat fight. I don't know if Nance Landing has cat fights, but I feel like somebody needs to check Abby and check her quick. Laura seems to be mounting up for something big, I think, but it wasn't that. I'm like what is bothering me and it comes down to Jackson Mowgli, mowgli, mowgli, whatever his name is Beepity, beepity boop. I hope your day is shaping up well. I forgot to even talk to y'all, man. I'm so sorry. Every day is shaping up well. If you had a rough day, it's time to throw that thing in the back seat. We are watching and listening to our stories. We're back in Denver today and I'm not going to lie, I was like something about Knotts Landing made me run back to Dynasty and I'm like what is really bothering me and I know what it is.

Speaker 1:

Jackson Mobley on Knotts Landing was Jack. On Dynasty, jack had a very brief cameo. I love his voice. I love the sound of his voice. I love the cadence of his voice. I really enjoy hearing him talk.

Speaker 1:

So when he had that, that scene, Jack, that is, had that scene with Blake and with Jeff and he was going on and on about topless Tony being a yokel. I was like God, what really happened to Tony? I think that's what's been bugging me. I think that's what's been dancing in the back of my mind. That was my thought when Topless Tony came as like he was AAA to help Jeff with his flat tires and he was acting all weird and stuff, talking about how he had a little bit of wine and passed out. What did y'all do to Tony? That was dancing in the back of my head the whole time. I'm watching Nostlanding. So we're back on Dynasty to pick up where that story sort of left off. So go ahead and grab yourself something bubbly, refreshing and bright. I know it's warming up here. God, I hope wherever you are in the world, you're still enjoying some remnants of a spring. I feel like summer is already here. Oh, put on your finest silk robe and let's jump into season four, episode 18 of Dynasty.

Speaker 1:

The Vigil One of my listeners early on told me that Dallas and Dynasty Falcon Cross, they all sort of shared writers from time to time, and I'm seeing now more than ever, by the time we hit season four, the soap world is a very small world. We're getting cameos I guess they're not cameos but a lot of swapping with actors. So I suppose from time to time we're going to get repeat titles, especially when you go for the low hanging fruit. Somebody literally watched 10 minutes of this and like, uh, it's the vigil, she's in the hospital bed, it's the vigil. Fair enough. But I'm like damn, didn't we just watch the vigil? We did just watch the vigil Just nine short episodes ago on the season premiere of Knott's Landing. It was called the vigil. So it's feeling like to me as a graduated novice I would say, feels like Dallas. Knott's Landing, lay the Blueprint, whatever works. We're just going to kind of lather, rinse, repeat. We might add a few extra spices in just to change it up a little. I'm not going to lie. When I first watched it I was like this is a little bit boring, but it's actually not. I had a better time with the short scenes than I did the overall arcing story. But here it goes To refresh your memory.

Speaker 1:

When last we left, fallon had just found out that Peter DeFillipus was a player, as her mother, alexis, told her. Alexis had even called a princess Instead of listen, fallonon, and not so many words. You're not a princess, and if a princess can get played, then a little narrow, behind wealthy girl from Colorado can also get played. You are no exception to the rule, honey. You are the rule. Fallon didn't want to hear that. Mother, you're jealous of me, alexis, like as if. But this is my daughter. I'm not going to break her confidence. Now it is what it is.

Speaker 1:

Fallon finds out that Peter has jumped ship. He has left the country and he wants absolutely nothing to do with her. She is devastated by this news and takes off on a 50-yard dash. He gets about halfway down the hall. Jeff is like Fallon stop Fallon, so distraught. This is quite embarrassing when I think about this. This is the hotel owner. This woman allegedly came up with a brilliant idea of how to bring in people. It seems like she would be more of a people person. She's a traveled woman. She's an educated woman. I'm not even going to get into that today, but for for whatever reason, her instincts tell her to just just run, run it off.

Speaker 1:

Right about this time a disgruntled drunk guy is getting kicked out of the bar. He's furious. This is a bear. I just had a little sub sub to sip. You know he's doing all the things and they're like yeah, yeah, boozy, go ahead and get on, go on, get. They basically shoo him out the front door. It is abundantly clear that this man is drunker than a skunk. He is stumbling all over the place and it doesn't matter, he's going to go jump in one of those land yachts they still made in 1984 and drive away. I guess they don't care at La Mirage, they need the bar space. Anyway, jeff is having a time trying to tackle down Fallon with his tennis arms and I'm thinking tennis arms seems like they'd be pretty strong. Serena's serve is vicious, but Jeff is struggling. He is in church shoes. I'm going to give him a pass.

Speaker 1:

Fallon is still sprinting towards, I assume, her car. Drunky, drunky is jumping into his land yacht to drive home. Blake is being driven by his driver in a limousine, so right as he pulls up remember, this is the last thing that happened on the last episode Jeff and Fallon are a mere feet, a mere feet, a few feet or mere inches away from the front of this guy's crown, vic. They're shocked looks oh my, oh my, oh my gosh. Blake jumps out of his limousine and says oh my gosh. And that's exactly where this episode picks up. Oh my gosh, I immediately knew everything was okay because he's not freaking out. I thought, oh crap, jeff got hit. Serves him right. Not that I'm saying he deserves it, but he did. Remember he dodged a bullet with the three blind fits of rage when Blake's car blew up. Nothing happened to Jeff, he was perfectly fine. But you know what he drank? He smoked and smoked. He absorbed all that mercuric oxide. Let the man live. So Blake has to, you know, hoist himself up over the curb. I feel you, blake, because sometimes my knees are like he hoists himself over the curb. He manages to run to the driveway where the drunk guy is trying to plead with.

Speaker 1:

I thought was an officer. He's in an officer's uniform, but I guess he's a security guard. Note the distinction. He's like I didn't do anything. These people came out of nowhere, this isn't my fault. And the security guy's like yeah, yeah, tell it to the cops. I was a little bit confused, Wait. So who wait? Who are you? He's got on a cop's uniform.

Speaker 1:

Anyway, we then see Fallon gracefully poured out on the black top, seemingly unconscious. Blake's like what the heck happened, jeff? Jeff says I don't know. I don't know she just came running out here. I tried to stop her, put a pin in that, okay. Blake tells not cop, hey, call an ambulance. He's like oh yeah, absolutely I'll go.

Speaker 1:

Drunk guy is waiting to be arrested. Now let's go over a few things here. I don't want to harp on this too long, and I certainly would never defend a drunk driver. However, he's not wrong. He did walk out in broad daylight. He was kicked out. He walked past valet. He walked right past security guard who had no problem allowing this man to enter his vehicle and operate said motor vehicle. But Fallon is lying in a very graceful pool of luxury and privilege. She is not bleeding and, for all intents and purposes, it doesn't seem like she was hit by the car. So I'm like hmm, arrest me for operating a motor vehicle under 20 miles an hour, but I will not go to jail for hitting this woman. That's just what I'm saying. So by the time they get to the hospital, blake has got on the horn.

Speaker 1:

Blake is a fine phone man. I don't know what else to call it. He would make a hell of a secretary in another life, because I don't. I guess he called from the car on a rotary phone. That's hilarious. He ends up calling a neurosurgeon, like one of the top ones in the country, who turns out to be a very striking, handsome black man. And I'm looking at him like I know. I've seen him in other stuff and I know this because I kept admiring his beautifully. I could tell like he probably had a fro at some point, but it's been cut down. It's got that beautiful moisturizer the sheen is just looking like a whole snack and he's got this thick Burt Reynolds mustache, an undefeated mustache. And that's what's sticking in my brain. Confession time.

Speaker 1:

I remember growing up and going to, you know, the hair aisle or the beauty supply store and always used to like to sneak around to where the boxes or the guys with the S curls were, because everybody was fine, fine. Now this would have been in the 90s a little bit more, but I've seen the boxes in the 80s. I have like some ebony magazines from back in the day. All the men were fine, fine. I know we talk about people being 90s, fine, but he is 80s fine. I'm like, oh, who is that? I can't quite put my finger on it. I know I know this man. I'm gonna go look his name up after this.

Speaker 1:

But Dr Fine Fine is in the building and guess what he's not gonna do? He's not gonna coddle Blake. So Blake's like well, why is she in a coma? Why is she knocked out? Dr Fine Fine says, well, she was. He didn't say she was in by. He says she has a slight fracture in the back of her skull and because of that she is in a coma. I don't know when she's going to come out. She doesn't seem to be hurt anywhere else. She's kind of checking out well, but she's in a coma.

Speaker 1:

And Blake asked him a few more questions and Doc's like I don't know, I don't know. So Blake says well, what do you know? What I know he wanted to say is I know one thing for certain, two things for sure I am not the one, and you definitely don't want smoke with me, salt and pepper hair, have a seat. But what he says instead is listen, I'm the top neurosurgeon in the country. You certainly didn't bring me here to babysit your daughter and I know for a fact that she's going to heal a lot quicker if you and I aren't clucking over her like some old hens. Why don't we chill? Why don't we let this play out? Like I said she's fine, her vitals are absolutely beautiful. She's going to wake up at some point. And Blake's like, yeah, I guess you're right. I guess I didn't call you here to go off on you, but somebody's got to pay for this.

Speaker 1:

Blake, without a lackey to go off on, is forced to remember why his daughter went darting into the parking lot and to oncoming traffic, albeit five mile per hour traffic, but traffic nonetheless. Was she crazy? Was she thick? Was she insane? No, she was in love with that filthy, no good DeVille-bus. What is defibrillators for government name? Deville-bus? I hate that B in his name. Name DeVille bus. I hate that B in his name needs to be DeVille anyway.

Speaker 1:

Blake remembers that Peter had a lawyer, a scandalous lawyer at that. So Blake runs up on him at La Mirage. This man still has the audacity to be hanging out in the hotel on Fallon's dime. So Blake runs up on lawyer DeMaurier and, through gritted teeth, he tells him you better tell me where Peter is right now or I'm gonna make you both pay. Demoria is like oh my god, I'm so scared. But um, unfortunately, blake, we're both left holding the bag because Peter has left. He is on a plane now, or at least at the airport on his way to a non-extradition friendly European country with Blake's money.

Speaker 1:

Blake is not going to take this. He gets in his secretary bag. He calls the airport. Actually, he calls the operator and asks for the airport. Airport security calls him back and he's like listen, airport security lock down the entire Denver International Airport. Nobody in or out. There's a guy who took my baby's money. Sure, blake, I'm right on top of that, rose. I'm thinking why wouldn't you call? I don't know who you would call to get. The whole thing Seems like you'd need the cops and not just the security guys. But as soon as they hear the name Blake Carrigan, oh sure I'll hop to it. Go ahead and take a swig before I tell you this. Friend, I'm holding your hand while I say this.

Speaker 1:

This is by far the most tragic part of this entire episode. Peter DeVilbiss is an international playboy who has just swindled millions and millions of dollars from Colorado's second wealthiest man. Shout out to my new friend Byron for reminding us that Blake's money is the equivalent to like a billion dollars Now. He is so papered up. So think about this.

Speaker 1:

Peter is fresh off of an amazing heist. He hit up one of the most recognizable names in the world, stole this man's money, left his daughter brokenhearted, talk cash crazy to everybody who worked for Blake and the police. And you know what this man does. This is so disrespectful. He walks into a Denver international airport, he pulls out two or three forms of accurate, traceable forms of ID. It goes up to like the equivalent of the southwest counter and buys a ticket. This fool, you just robbed one of the richest people in the world and you're flying coach, my God. So I feel, listen, if for no other reason than that, if I were Blake, I'd make sure he went to jail for that. What you're not going to do is rob me and then be economical with my money.

Speaker 1:

So Blake, meanwhile, has sent the bolo out telling everybody to be on the lookout for an unassuming average height, mildly charming, blue-blooded Jason, vaguely European, non-blinking blonde man with a wafer-thin, boyish build. He's definitely cranky, he's crooked and I guarantee you he's coked out of his mind. That's what I know. Now it occurs to me on this episode for the first time that Peter's sort of dead behind the eyes presentation might not just be from the cocaine he's ingesting. It could be due to some medication he was actually prescribed. This is 1984. Maybe he'd gone through some things mentally. Maybe he's on that Adam thing, you know what I mean. He's not really on his meds and so he sort of zones out from time to time, loses all of his personality. I don't know. I don't know if it is due to him taking his medication and then overly medicating with the other stuff, or is it the lack of his medication. I'm sure I don't know. But whatever it is, I have to believe it was synthetically induced, because nobody can be this dumb, especially if you're an international playboy who has run game on a princess for crying out loud Because he's not flying first class. He has to go through security like the rest of the people in the Denver airport. There's a woman behind him. One of the extras looks like she got Cowboy Carter tickets. She's going somewhere. I know she ain't going to Texas and that's for the best, but she's behind him looking country Peter goes to the metal detector.

Speaker 1:

It immediately goes off. He must have had a fresh bump, because he's kind to the woman. Actually that's why he's being kind. He's kind because the security person is a woman. Actually that's why he's being kind. He's kind because a security person is a woman. And he goes oh, it must be the keys. And he takes the keys out of his pocket. But while he's doing that, on the conveyor belt x-ray machine thing, the security guard who's looking at the little scanner sees what he thinks is drug paraphernalia. So he pulls DeFilbiss aside and he says hey, sir, I'm sorry I need you to open your attache case. Now.

Speaker 1:

This man loves booger sugar. He takes it everywhere with him. Do you know that this man does not have his booger sugar tightly in his breast pocket? This man has it in the attache case. He is clearly too high to remember that. Because he opens a daggone case, tell me why. He's got needles. He's got a little thing to chop it up. He's got it all separated. He is a nice packer, he is very neatly packed, I'll give him that.

Speaker 1:

And the security guard is kind of like what? Okay, um, could you lift your scarf please? He's got a nudie magazine and a fresh bag of booger sugar, the Philbus. What the Sir God? This is why crime doesn't pay. You got to be good or good at it. And guess what, sir, you are not good at it. So the cop is like well, I mean, thank you for the free bus, sir, I'm going to have to detain you. Peter's like. For what, my God, peter? Take your medicine, peter. That's why Take your medicine. He had to be out of his mind.

Speaker 1:

Well, right about this time y'all, blake arrives and he manages to stumble through the security checkpoint. He locks eyes with Peter before he lunges and attacks him. Okay, okay, okay, I promise I wouldn't lie to you. That's a very generous verb. He didn't actually lunge so much as he stumbled. Blake stumbles through security and with the momentum of him tumbling over his own feet, he manages to slam into. Actually, let me be real, we're not gonna lie on this one.

Speaker 1:

Blake's stunt double manages to slam into the feeling better and take him down to the ground. Blake's stunt double then jumps up and sucker punches I guess it's not a sucker punch, if you see it coming. He punches the filibuster's stunt double right square in his face. Pow, tell me why this man goes flying back 15 feet. Bam Slams into the check-in counter. He's like oh my God, blake, I can explain. I can explain Now because of the exquisite fighting of Blake's stunt double. Blake is really feeling himself so as a cop. Go to snatch up the filibuster and they hold Blake back. That's very cute. He clearly paid them to do that. He's saying through gritted teeth my stunt double just whipped your ass. You are so lucky I would have killed you. Well, possibly Now I asked myself early on why Fallon would take off running, run 400 yards into oncoming, albeit glacial speeds, parking lot traffic. I guess she called herself running to her car.

Speaker 1:

Carrington's have a horrible habit of running top speed towards things that aren't inherently dangerous and somehow ending up in a coma or on parole. On parole, stephen ran three and a half miles from the library. No, he was in the library drunk. Three and a half miles to the swimming pool, tripped over his own two feet, splatter tat, splashed in the pool, knocking himself out cold Bam. Now he's in a coma.

Speaker 1:

Blake, in a drunken fit of rage, ran upstairs top speed, busted in Stephen's room, tripped and fell a man to death. What was that? Ted Denard RIP. Ted Denard tripped and fell a man to death, ended up on parole. He seems to be off that now because he's doing great this episode. I'm like how are they stumbling into all of this? So, with that being said, I suppose Peter should be a little bit nervous. Blake might have actually killed him, had just a little bit more momentum, I think, because he was running flat-footed, he didn't have a lot of speed. He tripped over himself. Stunt double came in, handled business. But yeah, peter, you better. You are so lucky, you really are. Say what you will. Blake Carrington, stephen Carrington and Fallon Carrington Colby are running fallers. You know what I'm saying. So now we know If you see a Carrington running, havoc will be wreaked soon thereafter.

Speaker 1:

Now Adam and Alexis are totally different ballgame they would never. It is very clear that Adam takes after Alexis's side First off. They're not going to run and sweat out that good hair that they put together. Number two, they're gonna attack you with their words, they're gonna verbally piss you off, they're gonna be slick at the mouth. And you know what. They both got beat up for it.

Speaker 1:

But I guess we can say that the jury is still out on alexis. When she and Crystal had that fistfight in the pond, I can't say she lost, oh, but yeah, I forgot. Crystal did what her ass that one time in the apartment or in the little studio she really did. And Adam, of course we all remember, got beat up in what appeared to be a JCPenney catalog on the top floor of a brand new, high-rise building. But was it Jeff's left hook? Or was it the shock and awe of him about to be a father? We'll never know. All I'm saying is the ACs, Alexis and Adam, will never, ever, ever end up in a coma because they tripped and fell over their own feet. That's all I'm saying With that. That being said, we're all adults here.

Speaker 1:

I think the evidence is clear. I think we can all agree that Fallon didn't trip over her own feet. Jeffrey pushed her in front of their car. Think about it. She was tearing out of the hotel. He was running behind her. He actually had her in his arms as a car was barreling towards him. My mind tells me that Jeff, who was fully in his right mind, is still a little miffed. Fallon was going to run around the world with this coked out playboy, so he's like let me just teach her a lesson. Real quick, real fast. He was hoping the car was going to pummel into them. It didn't. What happened was Jeffrey could see that the car was slowing down again.

Speaker 1:

Ladies and gentlemen fan fiction or whatever you want to call this, this is how I see it. He saw the car slowing down. He realized that he had her safe in his arms. He could have just taken a step back, but then what lesson would be learned? No, no, no. Instead he used those slicker than slick church shoes, those hard bottom shoes, to sweep her stilettos from beneath her. She's splattertack, tatted, brain cracked on the blacktop, bam. Now she's in a coma. We're going to get to Alexis here in a second.

Speaker 1:

Fallon is knocked out for 99% of this, well, 90% of this episode. She's awake and says a little bit. Towards the end it's basically different people coming into her room just kind of checking on her. Now I don't think, although Blake is pissed, he doesn't seem overly worried to me. Crystal don't seem all that bothered either, quite frankly.

Speaker 1:

But Jeff, jeff is by her bedside and he starts having these flashback, all the memories and all the good times they had together all 14 minutes total and Jeff did something that was really weird. Let me ask you something soap fiends, when you remember a really good time in your life say a surprise party, maybe you performed on stage one time, your first kiss, you won the race, something, think of something like that. When you think back on that, do you look nerdy and dorky Like, are you embarrassing? No right, Jeff has the most embarrassing flashbacks ever. He's picturing he and Fallon dancing on her daddy's plane and he's all. And I swear to you, he goes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, jeffrey. What are you thinking of then? The other one is her telling him she wants babies. And he managed us to nerd that out too.

Speaker 1:

And I'm like my God, Jeff, who embarrasses themselves in their own memories and their own fantasies. I've never seen that when I picture myself winning the Olympics, because every time I watch the Team USA backflip. Mind you, I couldn't do a cartwheel, but in my head I'm flipping over balance beams. It's real easy. I look amazing. I would never play myself in my own mind. Come on now, for the sake of accuracy, I did go back, just to make sure I got the scene correct. Blake runs out of the car. He's oh my god. He hoists himself up a little hill, runs over to Fallon, who is splatted, tat tat on the blacktop. Jeff is near the curb, so my theory stands Not only did he trip her, he definitely pushed her, because he was at least three to four feet away from her. Oh my, oh my. Anyways, speaking of Olympics, alexis has an Olympic-sized jacuzzi tub and she likes to have a good time in it On this episode, specifically with Dex Dexter.

Speaker 1:

They are lathering up after a very, very intense afternoon. They are soapy sudsys. They're having a good time talking. The gist of it is she's like first off, don't ever say nothing sideways about my family. He's like I love making up. She's like yeah, that's great. Don't say anything sideways about my family, don't ever disagree with me. Really simple, right. He then says so what's up with you and Blake? Like Blake, who Ain't nobody worried about Blake, let's go have some sushi.

Speaker 1:

Although she's playing the whole the long game, I think I don't know what game she's playing she's enjoying herself for the time. She and Dexter have matching robes on, which is adorable. She has this whole sushi layout, although the food looks a little gray. I have a theory on that. We'll talk about that another day but they're having a good old time. She's like don't worry about losing me because you never had me. It's all about the game. It's a power play. I want you to want me, but I don't necessarily want to admit that. I want you. Phone rings. It's Crystal. Crystal's like hey, fallon's been in an accident. What? She quickly puts on her finest fur and runs down to the hospital to check on her baby girl. All right, I need to jump around just a little bit here so we can get to the good parts, kirby.

Speaker 1:

Kirby is home from the hospital and I bet she is so sick and tired of looking at these people. Crystal tries to come in and say hey, the staff is whispering about you. They're calling this room your room. She's in the whatever room, who cares? And she's like, oh, is that so that's cute. Crystal tries to relate to her hey, listen, I've been where you've been. She said listen, crystal, I'm going to stop you there, baby, I don't want to hear it. Appreciate you. But no, thank you, adam comes walking in. Everybody's super pleasant to Adam. Hey, adam, hi. Crystal excuses herself.

Speaker 1:

Kirby's chilling on the couch and it is very clear that she has resigned. She has resigned to having a not so hot life. She realized way too late that maybe she might have actually liked this kid, and now she's without. So she's sitting on the couch and she tells Adam she's tired of looking for the best in life without. So she's sitting on the couch and she tells Adam she's tired of looking for the best in life and, with that said, it's time to start living in reality, except my fate. Uh, I'll marry you.

Speaker 1:

Now Adam ignores all this. She goes I'm marrying you. And I need you to understand I don't want you, I don't actually like you. I'm just gonna marry you. And he's all yippee oh my god, kirby, I don't care how long it takes, and you and you, I'm not gonna go there, you're gonna love me, no matter how. Oh god, I can think of 15 love songs right there. He's feeling that let the record reflect. She is laying back, like her back hurts, like okay, yeah, that's cute. I'm not gonna like you, adam, I'll marry you. It will be cold, it'll lack enthusiasm, it'll be disrespectful at times I'm gonna talk about you being off your meds, but it'll be a marriage. If you want it and he's like sign me up.

Speaker 1:

Then she starts getting realistic. She goes over logistics. I was just like I guess if I'm gonna have a demon seat and it has to be a caring team, at least the kid will be taken care of. Your dad will be all happy that you have a kid and whatnot. It'll probably get a sweet brass crib, just like baby blake. Maybe it'll even get its own room. Kid will be taken care of. It'll have 15 nannies. I'd never have to even look at him might be a sweet deal. Adam is not appalled, and if he is, he's gonna get over it. He's like dang, that's how you talk, that's how you feel. She's like yeah, listen, it's. It's time to face reality. I'm living on the edge, dare I say.

Speaker 1:

It is this kirby's bad girl arc. Is this her origin story? It feels like she's flipping. You know my theory good girls can go bad, bad girls can never go good. I think kirby's just like caution to the wind, forget it. And adam's like that doesn't sound like you. She goes. Well, I'm a fast learner homeboy. And then she plants a passionate kiss on him. Dare I say it. She even looked like she had a little bit of desire in her eyes. He is all too thrilled. He don't give a damn if this is. He's like listen, if you were being a bad marriage, you might as well be in a bad marriage with me, okay?

Speaker 1:

So flashback to Alexis the next day. She's got a fresh silk robe. She's on the phone trying to figure out what's what with Fallon. She's not really getting the respect she deserves this episode. So what does she do? As a mature, rational woman? She takes it out on the next available. Poor soul that has the audacity to walk in front of her.

Speaker 1:

Martin comes walking into the penthouse, walks over to Alexis's little spread that she always has and grabs a big chunk of bread and starts smearing caviar on it. Now Alexis is no doubt thinking God, this guy's a yokel. She's staring at him and then she says baby boy, you know that's not peanut butter, right, like you shouldn't be smearing gobs of caviar across this bread. She's in no mood for the foolishness, because it was actually crystal who hung up on her. Alexis calls she wants to cuss out blake. Blake's not home, so she's cussing out crystal to deliver the message to blake. Crystal click. She ain't got time for that, she has other things to do.

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This episode. So after Mark is scolded for spreading caviar like peanut butter, he goes you know, this is all your fault, right? If you had never come between me and Fallon, none of this would have happened. Sir, how do we get to that conclusion? What are you talking about? Welllexa says coming between you and you and fallon was one of the best things I ever did, and then quote please take your criticism and your caviar sandwich and go to your room. I love her.

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I don't know why caviar sandwich tickled me so much, but then because he did look. It didn't seem like it goes together. It didn't seem like that would be something you ate. But also, why does she have a big basket of bread, a bucket of champagne and then some little hors d'oeuvres like little saltines and wheat bins and stuff around this platter of caviar? Okay, maybe he shouldn't slather it on the bread, but what's the bread for? I went and Googled it because I remember this episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hill where Kyle goes over to her sister, kathy Hilton. You know Kathy Hilton is Paris Hilton's mom. They are super, duper rich and Kathy says she prepared lunch, but it's basically a baked potato and caviar. Now she was preparing it weird. So I didn't really believe that was a real thing. But apparently it is. And a caviar sandwich is apparently a real thing. I guess you just don't have it on a four inch thick piece of bread. He looks like Oliver Twist asking for simple oh and she's not done.

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After she gets done, sunning Mark sending him to his room with his caviar sandwich. Her real son shows up, adam. She's pissed because she's like what I hear. Let me why. I have to hear that you're going to marry that girl. And he's like you mean Kirby, I absolutely am. He's like damn it, adam, you're not in the backwoods of Montana, use your brain. You're not in the backwoods of Montana, use your brain.

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She is fed up with her sons hooking up with these backwood broads. Now, although I don't agree with her fully, I'm just like this isn't Sammy Joe? I kind of get that one. Y'all know how I feel about Claudia the Stallion. There will nary be a word spoken against her. As a matter of fact. I will say this though On this episode, alexis's bullying has paid dividends.

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Claudia's wardrobe has been elevated. She looks amazing. She has this really cool sweater where it's I don't know what it is like, that kind of it's not cashmere, but maybe it is because they they're wealthy, but it's like a two-tone sweater and it's cream on top, and then it has a sweetheart pattern like on the bodice a sweater bodice, if you can imagine and it's a deeper shade of brown. She's wearing all khakis. Her hair is less crunchy. She went from her peter pan crunch peanut butter hair to Jiffy, smooth and creamy. She looks fantastic. So good on Alexis for bullying her.

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Anyway, alexis is good and fed up with her son marrying these less than stellar women. All her kids are absolutely bonkers. They keep hooking up with the exact wrong type of person. So once Adam, like I said, she and Adam are not going to trip and fall over each other. As a matter of fact, they're about five or six feet away, at a safe distance. They're standing in their superhero poses. They are sturdy, they're going to talk crap and if it means they get beat up for it, so be it. Adam lets her know, in not so many words, that he's going to marry Kirby, like it or not, whether she has a baby or not. That's gonna be Mrs Adam Carrington, so her name is Kirby Anders Colby Carrington, or CAC for short.

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Alexis is furious. She spins on her heels after after Adam leaves, gets on the phone and she's still on that bitterness because nobody is listening to her. So everybody is is going to get it today. She's like Logan Hess You're still slime and broke and I know you love money.

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So go to the papers and collect everything you can about a crime from 23 years ago. You're looking for a crime committed by Alicia Anders Her uppity, snooty never could be me husband named Joseph and she had a little dirty baby named Kirby. I'm sorry I might be throwing in a couple of adjectives that she didn't speak, but you get the gist. The crime is murder. Now call me crazy. It doesn't seem like you need a PI for that. Why would you hire a PI to go to the newspaper to collect something that has already been printed? I get it, though. She's just in a sour mood. She's after being hung up on her daughter's in a coma, her son's marrying the help and her sexy time was interrupted. Somebody has to pay.

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Now, speaking of sexy time, let's talk about Tracy. Real quick. Tracy Vanessa is her way into being Blake's publicist because he has been asked, much like Bobby on Dallas, to be a chairman for the party At the state level. So he's going to be a chairman for the party at the state level. So he's going to be a politician. Long story short. Tracy figures that out by seducing one of the lackeys that works for Blake. She's like hey, we just had great, you know, sexy time, right, how about I tell your wife, unless you make sure I get the job for Blake, he's like done. Someone else who's done is Adam. Adam is done lying. He's done hiding. He's not going to run away from anything else. I will say he's been very good about that. I can't think of any secrets he's harboring at this point.

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And he goes back to the house after talking to his mom, he sees Jeff because no one ever moves out of the Carrington mansion and he says Jeff, can I have a word with you? They go into the library and apparently he spills his guts. He tells Jeff everything about how much he hated him and that he maybe kind of sorta had his office painted with poison to watch him slowly succumb to it, to said poison. Now Jeff is furious, I have to admit.

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At first I was like, oh, my gosh, he's overreacting. But then, as I just said it all out loud hi, jeff, uh, sorry, I tried to kill you. And then I framed my mom. But yeah, it was definitely me. I tried to kill you with paint because you embarrassed me and I felt like you were being disrespectful and really mean to me, so I wanted you to die. I was like, jeff, you can accept that, after all, you did push Fallon in front of that car, but Jeff understandably so is not okay with it. He's like wow, you tried to kill me. Okay, I could kill you, but I know something better. I'm too rich for all that. I'm not going to have any more blood on my hands. I'm going to have you arrested. You're going to spend the rest of your miserable life in jail.

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And Adam's like bro, dude, I confess I'm sorry. Joe's like what, you're sorry? What were you crazy? I was like actually, yeah, I was a little. You know, the dosage was off, I wasn't really on it like that, but yeah, I would say I was a little bit insane. For sure. That's what? Yeah, for sure. Jeff's like yeah, right, homeboy, you're going to jail. Adam's like bro, please, I just lost my baby. I just lost my daughter. Isn't that punishment enough? Jeff makes a cardinal mistake here. He says no, as far as I'm concerned, that's just the beginning. Adam flips a switch like nope, okay, okay, fine, guess what? I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry anymore. Now, live with that. It reminds me of myself If I've already told this story. I'm really sorry. I'm getting up there. You know I'm going to repeat stories from time to time.

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My cousin and I had this really dumb game for like a week in high school where you'd like pop each other in the mouth. It's really dumb. I don't even know what we were thinking. But I had done that to her and then I walked into a classroom and it was like the doors in our classroom were sort of deep probably about two feet deep before you could like you couldn't see around the wall. So she hid and once she heard my voice she just kind of hung out and then she got me, pow, hit me and I said an expletive. I don't know what I said. Well, I didn't realize that there A was a teacher and B it wasn't the normal teacher in the class, it was this coach who was high key, really, really cute. But I didn't see him in there. Not that it was important, I just got slapped in the face.

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I was trying to just like focus my life. So he hears me and he goes hey, hey, I can't believe you said that. And even in my pain, my face is throbbing. I'm trying to like comfort myself. I say, oh, coach, blah, blah, blah, I'm really sorry, I didn't see you there, I'm so sorry. And he stands with his hands on his hip and it's like no, no, that's not good enough. Well, that's all you're going to get homie, because my face hurts and I'm not sorry. As a matter of fact, I take that back. Listen, if my face hadn't been stinging, I probably would have said the same thing, like how dare you? First and foremost, I wasn't even speaking to you. I was speaking to her. I need to apologize to her. I can't even get to that and you're jumping in as if I attacked you. I I apologize. He didn't accept my apology. Okay, it is, it's up now.

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I ended up getting in school suspension and my principal was so shocked. He was like you, I know it was fine, it was a day off, I didn't care, I didn't even get in trouble. But anyways, I understand. I'm saying I'm not condoning, but I'm saying, adam, I understand If I offer you an apology and you don't take it, fine, although I think Adam is wrong in this, because he actually did intend to harm Jeff. But Adam flips and he's like okay, fine, not only am I not sorry, I take back everything I ever said.

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And Jeff's like but you confessed, you confessed to Blake. He was like I just lost a baby. I was stressed out. Don't forget I'm a lawyer. What judge is going to believe? What judge is going to take that confession under those circumstances? And Jeff's like well, you just confessed to me, to which Adam says what confession. Who said that? Who said that? I didn't say that? Dum dum dum. I like it. Let's get him riled up a little more. I like this version of him. I'm just going to say this too. I'm just going to say this too.

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So the next morning Adam goes to breakfast, stephen is there and Stephen tries to give him a little bit of wisdom or like scold him. I heard what you did to Jeff and I don't like it. Why is this version of Stephen such a dud? I mean, he never really had a ton going on, but he was interesting, he was working towards something. Stephen got that brand new face. He came back feeling way too cocky, feeling himself. I don't like it. I'm just going to say it.

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Stephen is not my fave this season. He and Fallon are duds and as far as I'm concerned, adam is time to stop trying. Who cares if they don't want to sit with you at Christmas? Who cares if you don't get a white elephant gift? Good riddance, I'm sick of both of them.

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And the denim one, jeffrey colby, is also a dud. He goes in to try to like sneak support kirby, like asking are you sure if adam's the one shut up jeff, didn't he gaslight her for her entire pregnancy? And that's another thing. While I'm on it, I don't even really believe this, but let's just throw this out there. Tell me why. Every time jeff gets a wife, or every time Jeff bangs somebody, something crazy happens to them. Think about it Fallon, claudia, the stallion, kirby, I don't know. Jeff, all your wives ended up in a hospital. I don't know what to think about that. All right, we are in the home stretch.

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So Alexis and Jeff are at the hospital. She's in like this beautiful dark coat, looking fantastic, and Jeff's there and he's like he apologizes to her. I kind of forgotten that he thought she tried to kill him. And she's like yeah, don't even worry about it. Nurse comes running in. Hey, your wife is. Yeah, mrs Colby is stirring, come get her, Come look at her. So Alexis and Jeff run into Fallon's room and she's still sort of sweaty and slowly waking up.

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Oh, and we get to see the side profile of Jeff and Alexis, and it's at that very moment that I realized they have the exact same haircut. I would love to be a fly on the wall in the trailer for hair. Alexis's only difference is that she flips hers up. She actually obviously puts curlers in hers and then she flips a little back up. She likes a little Carol Brady the little letter J in the back of her head and Jeff wears his flat just a light little blow dryer or whatever. I was like, oh my God, they have the exact same haircut. It looks great on both of them.

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Not being critical here, fallon wakes up and oh my gosh, oh my gosh, and Alexis Jeff goes. I'm here, fallon, jeff, is that you? Jeff? And Alexis, darling, I'm here too, mother, oh god, no, you disrespectful little witch, I can't believe what. I just wanted to make sure you were alive. How dare you?

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Alexis is once again embarrassed, so she storms out and right about this time crystal shows up to the hospital and one of the coolest things I've ever seen. So she's wearing like a blue pantsuit, a periwinkle colored pantsuit with short sleeves. Looked like she grabbed an afghan that was being used as a table runner and slung it over a shoulder. Made in a really dramatic cape of many colors was beautiful, beautiful. I guess she's bringing a little bit of that down home, ohio, to Denver. It was so cute. I'm like let it get cold here. Let it get 10 degrees colder, I'm gonna find me an Afghan and sling it over my shoulders too. It's adorable.

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Anyway, alexis has not forgotten that Crystal had the nerve to hang up on her while she was cussing her out. She said Crystal, I bet you thought you were real. I'm summarizing here. I bet you thought you were real cute hanging up on me. I was trying to leave a message for Blake. I don't know why you can't just leave a message for your good for nothing husband for me. And Crystal, cool as a cucumber, is like oh, I mean, I remember you commanding a couple of things. I don't remember you asking me to do anything. Alexa says when I leave a message, especially with an ex-stenographer, I expect it to be passed on. Oh, gold, do my bidding, secretary. And then she leaves. She's like fine, trying to decide if any of this is worth mentioning. I'm going to save the last little bit for you guys because I mean it's enjoyable.

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A lot is revealed in the last like four minutes of the show. That was fun. It was a lot of fun. When I first watched it I thought, oh, that was, it wasn't really about anything. But on second glance I love kind of letting it sit for a day, because then I'm like, okay, yeah, there was a lot to this one, love, love, love the writing. Alexis is eating them alive every chance she gets.

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Tracy is back at the helm and, okay, I have decided. Tracy's not necessarily a bad girl. She really is the most qualified for that job. There's no reason why she shouldn't be the head of PR and Crystal could have another role or, I don't know, he could have made her VP of something else. You know what I'm saying. Tracy is willing to do what needs to be done.

Speaker 1:

Dynasty has always been really big on this big swelling and dramatic music. They've upped the ante this season because I'm like they were playing dramatic music over what Tracy was doing and I was like, I guess I don't really think that's all that odd. All right, guys, I think that's it. That's all. I hope you enjoyed yourself. Don't forget to leave me a text within the show notes or you can leave me an email at soflorpodcasts at gmailcom. In the meantime, in between time, if you really want to go off on somebody and they won't pick up the phone, leave a message, send a letter, make them go through the trouble of reading your words before they rip it up. Either way, you'll never hear a vowel tone. Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business and keep all of your drama on TV Bye.