Soaplore

S4 EP18 Falcon Crest -Showdown: The " Duck, Dodge & Sabotage" Episode

• Jett Shae • Episode 277

Share episode

Send us a text

The power struggle at Falcon Crest reaches new heights when Richard's wine venture is literally poured down the drain by mysterious saboteurs. Convinced either Chase or Angela is responsible, Richard confronts them with wild accusations that culminate in a hilariously shocking moment – Richard swings at Chase, who deftly ducks, sending Angela crashing to the ground with an accidental punch to the face. This physical altercation becomes the catalyst for an unexpected alliance as the three vineyard partners finally piece together that Jean-Louis De Bercy is actually Johan Reedman's son and the mastermind behind the cartel targeting their business. Meanwhile, the romantic entanglements throughout Tuscany Valley grow increasingly complex. Terry's desperate attempt to win the "Manimal's" affection by shoveling horse manure in designer clothing reveals the depths of her misguided devotion. Cole and Melissa learn their son Joseph is being teased at preschool because they aren't married, accelerating their wedding plans and creating an unexpected moment when Lance surprisingly supports their annulment rather than obstructing it. In another corner of the valley, Lorraine discovers she's pregnant with Lance's baby, setting the stage for inevitable conflict with her stepfather Richard.>The episode takes a darker turn when Emma unwittingly reveals crucial information about hidden tunnels under Falcon Crest to De Bercy, who already has Julia captive in his basement. As the families finally recognize the Nazi's son has been monitoring Angela's private conversations through an eagle statue in her study, the stakes escalate dramatically. The hour closes with Angela facing a gun-wielding kidnapper at her door with the shocking revelation that Julia is alive – proving once again that in wine country, family secrets and hidden treasures lead to danger at every turn. Will Angela's unflinching bravery save her daughter, or is she walking into a trap from which not even the formidable matriarch can escape?

Speaker 1:

owner, you do not shovel horks, dookie, especially on a hork. It's upsetting. We're gonna pray for terry, hopefully. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome, or welcome back to silk floor, the official gathering place for newbies, novices and og diehard fans of the golden age of primetime. I'm your host, jett, viewing and reviewing the Sophia Sudsia's primetime storyline of 1984-1985. So, whether you're new to this or true to this, sit back and enjoy. Tell the kids it's time to play outside or, out of sight, tell they no questions, suggestions or concerns for the next 25 to 35 minutes. Everyone else in air shock. You can be cool, you can be calm or you can collect your things and get out because we are watching our story. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is Soap Lord. Welcome back party people to another fun-filled edition of soap. Lore can't wait to jump into this one.

Speaker 1:

We are about two-thirds of the way through falcon crest. For whatever reason, falcon crest feels like they had a lot to say. Perhaps the writers got into a little bit of a disagreement. We have 30 episodes this season. I knew it was more than the others. I had forgotten how many exactly. So that means I'm probably going to have to do shorter episodes, but a little bit more frequently to get through this season.

Speaker 1:

If you've been listening since the beginning or perhaps you went back and listened you'll notice that I kind of like to keep the three major ones being Falcon Crest, dallas and Dynasty on the same episode, or at least the same little bunch of episodes during the same season. Just to, originally I was comparing Apple to Apples. I don't really feel the need to do that anymore, but sometimes the stories overlap. We've seen some borrowing of storylines, borrowing of titles, but you know what? There is nothing new under the sun and so long as you put your spin on it, I don't really care. If I've seen it 15 times, I'm gonna watch it again if it's good.

Speaker 1:

Today we also have a wonderful piece of fan mail from a diehard fan. I always love to hear from you guys, I love to hear from everybody, but I especially love a diehard fan within this genre, because we're talking 30 plus years after the fact. If you can still sit down and watch something again after 30 years, you know it's good good. That being said, I was at my mother in law's house the other day and she was watching the monsters and I instantly got a flashback. Rest in peace to my grandma. We used to watch the monsters in the morning and she would make pancakes. I thought herman monster was the coolest and I always felt so bad for him that man could never just sit down and eat his breakfast without some sort of chaos erupted. And he was always so level-headed.

Speaker 1:

No pun intended, all right, guys, go ahead and pour yourself up something bubbly and bright. I am trying. What is this? The Limoncello from La Croix, la Croix, la Croix. My name is not Jacqueline, so I am not pronouncing this as it should be. I love when summer is around the corner because all the new flavors start to come out. Let's go on and crack this open y'all. I'm curious. Pour yourself up something bubbly and bright and let's jump into season 4, episode 18 of falcon crust, the show. Now, you know what that tastes like. I'm not a huge, I'm more of a savory person, and I think I drink sparkling water because it's not heavily flavored, so this one is light. However, it tastes like like a very faint buttercream, icing in every way but the sugar. I don't know how that. I don't know how to describe that.

Speaker 1:

All right, we got a little fan mail today. Um, this is from my new friend bob. Bob says knots is, hands down, my favorite show of all time. I'm currently listening to your season two Knott's Landing episodes, so I'm behind and probably telling you information that you already. You now already heard. But here goes just in case you haven't heard these factoids. It goes on to say that Crystal Lair Place is in Granada Hill is the name of the cul-de-sac. I don't know if I knew the name for a few episodes back. One of the listeners let me know to try to send pictures. Unfortunately that's when I discovered that you can't actually send them through text but figured out that that was an actual place. I don't recall if the name was in that piece of fan mail. I don't think it was. But Bob goes on to say say, this is so fun.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so this is crystal crystal air place in granada hills, the name of the cul-de-sac which the outside scenes were shot. It's called sea view circle on the show it's not even close to the ocean. That overhead shot from the opening titles was spliced in 1979. Much of the development was still being built, says ET was probably filmed nearby. The homeowners were apparently paid very well for the use of their properties and the inconvenience the home at the end of the cul-de-sac, which is much smaller than it appears on screen. It's on the same side as Gary and Val's house was apparently very pissed that his place wasn't being used and that he was missing out on some good checks rightfully so. So he purposely parked his eyesore of an rv in front of his house or in the driveway, and it's like he says, once you see it, you can't unsee it. It's been part of the landscape for years.

Speaker 1:

Thank you, I did not know all of. I've gotten a few little bits and pieces. One of my listeners told me that the sequence in the beginning is going to change from season to season and I can see that now on season three but it is one of my favorite parts of Knott's Landing is at the end of the show where they do the overhead shot. I just like looking at the neighborhood. I like that they zoom out. But I'm going to pay a lot more attention now and I can't wait to see this eyesore of an RV. I don't blame them. Up until recently I believed that this was on some back lot at MGM or something.

Speaker 1:

Zoom studios buy up big swaths of land, big parcels of land, so they can build and tear down. Build and tear down different sets. That way you can keep coming back, because I mean, I never thought about it being in a neighborhood, but I read somewhere recently that the home on Breaking Bad recently went for sale, I believe. But the family would just kind of clear out and let them come in and shoot whatever scenes they needed to. So I guess that could be a little bit of an inconvenience, especially circa 1979, but I'm assuming they're only shooting the outside of the houses.

Speaker 1:

Another thing I need to start paying a little bit more attention to is where everyone is in the cul-de-sac. I don't think I have it down just yet, but it seems like, starting from the west side of the road, it would be. Is it Val and Gary? Then, oh, who is Val's neighbor? I think it's Val and Gary, karen and Sid, laura and Richard it seems like Kenny and Jinder live across the street, I think. And then it seems like Abby lives on the other side of gosh. I think she lives on the other side of Laura and, um, richard, or she lives a little further down. Either way, I like Abby's outside the best. I like I feel like she's got those really long steps. I don't know what you call them. They're not very high, but she seems to have a little bit more of a patio stair step hybrid. I like the front of her house a lot.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for the tidbit. Any news you guys have that isn't a spoiler, obviously. Let me know. I love this. I don't have any proof of this, but if I had to venture a guess, I would say that the writers on this show are closeted novelists, because this story is super rich, super intricate. There's so many moving parts to this. Let's do a really quick review.

Speaker 1:

The whole entire premise of season four is that there is hidden treasure underneath falcon crest. That's right, hidden treasure that is unknown to anyone other than the nazi child who blew up his father after he, after he rejected his birthday present, or something. Jean-louis de Blanc de Bleu de Bibbidi-Boo has strong-armed his way into Tuscany Valley. He punked one of the neighbors, made her sell her vineyard and her house. He is then living in it. He then bought some cheap real estate downtown, put up a land development office, spends his days painting women's boobs and listening to all of Angela's conversations via this big soaring eagle statue. I say I mean it's big for a small room Listen to all of Angela's very private, very villainy plans.

Speaker 1:

So all that's happening, maggie finds out that she is adopted, her birth mother, sweetest little woman, who has been on the mend as far as recovering from her gambling addiction. She really don't want to bother anybody. I suppose Maggie's adopted mother has passed on, but her father is an archaeologist who is digging up bones or something to the effect, somewhere outside of Falcon Crest. Angela also found out she had brand new family members, by way of a friend of an italian sister named francesca, who did a tarantula tap dance all over them when she felt disrespected because they were fighting amongst each other as family. It was a disgrace, it was embarrassing. She got on the first thing smoking back to italy with a check, of course, um, not before stealing richard's heart.

Speaker 1:

Richard also has an additional family member, sort of it is his former stepdaughter, who he still calls his daughter. She has moved into town. She is a college co-ed. Obviously she's in love with Lance, who has had a change of heart. He wants to be working, earning his own keep because he stays on kicked out terms with his grandmama, so he has to have a job. At this point he is back on angela's good side, back on the wheel.

Speaker 1:

But you know who's not bad girl meli mel. Bad girl meli mel has reformed, she has changed her way. She is now on the verge on the fast track of being mrs cole, giab birdie, raising her son, his proper father, in a proper home that is no longer occupied by his deceased wife, shania linda. Okay, am I missing anything? Oh, of course I am. So julia, the murderous wine scientist with a heart of gold, she's been through it. She uh, came back from the dead via a tunnel underneath spring house, moved into a tin can camper with her booski, only to be abducted by jean louis, aka the nazi child, aka the bed. I don't forget his name. Still with me. Okay, richard has somehow come into the family business. He is oh, oh, oh, oh oh.

Speaker 1:

By way of seduction, richard is introduced as the third partner at Falcon Crest and he is disrespecting the brand by making a cheap table wine, also called lighter fluid by the Gioberti. This is all coming to a head. He is on the fast track because he is about business, not heritage. Chase is still chasing after people who may or may not have set him up. When the whole plane went down, he was blamed. I forgot that was at the beginning of this season. Plane goes down. He was blamed for it by Angela. All that stuff has smoothed over at this point. We are finally getting to the point where people are starting to disappear. Chase knows about the cartel. His homeboy gets murdered. I suppose we haven't. Actually I didn't see a body, so I'm not going to believe that. And Jean-Louis Dibble Dabble is not only holding Julia hostage but he is trying to seduce the whimsical and wonderful Emma. All right, I think that's just about everything.

Speaker 1:

Let's jump into this episode. I want to go ahead and touch base on the bit players this episode, because there's not a ton going on with them. Bit players on this episode would be Aunt Terry. It would be the manimal who's in it the whole time, but he's just basically Angela's henchman and good old baby girl. Lorraine Terry has it in her head that she needs to match up with the manimal.

Speaker 1:

Now, the manimal? Okay, the more he's on the show, the less of a hottie I realize he is Physically. Yes, he looks like Kendall. He's always going to be gorgeous. However, I buy him as even less of a heartthrob than Cole. Let me be very clear. Cole is good looking.

Speaker 1:

I totally understand the appeal, especially if you're young, him popping off being, oh, he's so dangerous, even though he's not. He's really a very good boy. He's actually never been anything but a very, very good boy. He just happens to be very easy to blame and because he's got a hairpin trigger it's easy to get wrapped up in some of his folly, even though it's not really ever his fault. So far he's pretty much free and clear. But I can understand the appeal there with the minimal. The fact that he's pulling anybody is a little bit shocking to me. The fact that he think he has what it takes to seduce and keep bad girl Melly Mel is laughable. We all know the bad girls are the ones choosing. You don't choose them, they choose you.

Speaker 1:

She chose cole, she eventually chose lance. I get it, but the manimal just he just won't let it go. And it's so weird to me that angela thinks this is a good pairing because she feels like bad girl meli mel would make a wonderful political wife. On what planet? That's how I know she secretly hates him. He's probably young and annoying to her. She wants a good. She wants an 87 year old man who ain't gonna give her any lip, not this young man who's always looking in mirrors flipping his hair around. She ain't got time for all that. She keeps her curls tight. She expects her lawyer's hair to be tight anyway, aunt terry. Aunt terry's self-esteem is somewhere in the pits of hell. I don't know why. This woman doesn't understand much of anything. They're not saying be good or be good at it. She's not good or good at it. She has been extracted from the bad girls club because she's not meet the qualifications. That was an oversight on my part. It won't happen again.

Speaker 1:

Terry shows up to the manimals ranch and she's coming to seduce him. But she comes in her. I am presentable. I could be somebody's wife outfit. It is actually very cute. I am starting to realize that I don't like 80s clothes because I was not introduced to the finer section of 80s clothes. 80s designer clothes are fantastic. Well, don't quote me on that. So far, so good, on Dynasty and on Falcon Crest. Mid-80s clothing is really, really good, but of course they're not wearing off the rack. I'm sure Terry shows up easily wearing four hundred dollars worth of clothes. She's got her hot rollers done, her hair's did it's nice and beauty pageant big. She's got it sprayed back.

Speaker 1:

She came to to seduce or try to seduce, or at least be like hey, look at me, manimal. Do you know what this walking talking marionette doll does to her? He hands her a pitchfork, just like that picture of those two old people. You know the one, and there's like a pitchfork in the middle. He hands her a pitchfork, tells her to start shoveling dookie. He got a hot date with uh, I love leather pam, aka richard's old secretary. Slash, main, squeeze, slash whatever. She was placeholder, I don't know. She was gone once francesca came up in there. He hands terry a pitchfork. And do you know that she began shoveling doo-doo and hay in her 400 outfit to impress the manimal? Terry, terry, terry.

Speaker 1:

This is why I'm saying, as a big sister, it is maggie's job to get her little sister together. Maybe you don't know she's been a hooker. Why is her life so different? First and foremost, what is that about? Maybe Maggie dodged a genetic bullet, maybe not? Something definitely happened to Terry when Maggie left home. But anyway, terry, you are a multimillionaire now you are a vineyard owner. You do not shovel horse dookie, especially on a horse. It's upsetting. We're gonna pray for terry. Hopefully she can learn to be bad, or we need another. We need another millionaire to swoop in and get her this. This is just a mess.

Speaker 1:

Terry has been ping pong back and forth between every single person on this show, with the exception of her sister. Angela has used her chase. Can't stand her, for real, for real. The manimal is I don't know what he's doing now. She's doing free manual labor. Terry, terry, go home, terry. It might be time up for terry to pack it up. She should have married, married the Florida man again at this rate. I wonder when he's getting out of rehab? I kind of miss him being on the show. God, I hope he's really in rehab and not off the side of a mountain or something. It was some of Richard's quote-unquote friends who picked him up after all.

Speaker 1:

Speaking of richard, ah, sweet little lorraine lorraine, lorraine, lorraine, you know what it is, I don't even have to say it. Let's do a little. Let's do a little quiz, shall we? What happens when a good girl goes to college and her rich, super powerful, slightly villainous stepdad owns a big company. Stepdad has a little bit of an enemy who happens to be six foot three baby oil down Brooks Brothers, brothers Brooks, suit wearing. What do you think is going to happen. You know what happened. She's going to fall head over heels in love with him, especially when the stepdad tells her not to step to him because, I mean, nature's going to take its course.

Speaker 1:

So she is once again pleading her case while Richard is eating these little pastries Forgive me, I don't remember the name, but there's some sort of jam or something in the middle of it he is wolfing them down like dang. You don't want any of these, these are so good. Of course you know he has his chaser, his milk. I thought she was grossed out because he was woofing them down. He wouldn't shut up about him. And maybe she's also thinking why does this grown man love milk so much? It's kind of weird. But instead she's just kind of swallowing back. Whatever's going on with her. She ends up at the doctor a little bit later on, where they finally announce that she is indeed perigo. No surprise, paray go. No surprise there. Let's be real. We're all adults here, right? Let's be real, don't get it twisted.

Speaker 1:

In 1984, you could be sitting 200 yards downwind from Lorenzo Llamas, aka Lance Cumson, and get pregnant. The dude is exuding studliness, obviously. Obviously, that was bound to happen, especially since Lorraine keeps sneaking off to meet him at all hours of the night in hotel motels and holiday inns. At least she knows. Well, she doesn't know this, but we, the audience, know he was a great dad to baby Joseph, so, hey, why not have at it?

Speaker 1:

I don't think this is going to bear well with the rest of the people on the show. I think Angela is going to lose her absolute mind, as is Richard. He might man Lance is going to end up on a desert island somewhere, kidnapped in a basement or something. But you know what, the more the merrier and baby Joseph needs a friend. But speaking of baby Joseph, he is having trouble in super duper pre-k. I don't know what kind of school a two-year-old goes to, but he's a rich two-year-old. So I really, I really wouldn't know anything about that.

Speaker 1:

Baby joseph's teachers reach out to cole and they're concerned because the other toddlers are making fun of him. Now why would you make fun of this precious baby, this precious angel? Probably because he's in the corner doing taxes or doing something super adult and weird. He's probably making coffee, walking around like an old man with his hands in his pocket, admiring the grass, checking the doorknob, stuff like that, making sure, getting rid of the squeak, spraying WD-40 on hinges, stuff like that. No, no, no, no. Those little monsters are teasing joseph because his mommy and daddy aren't married. I didn't realize that children were so morally superior.

Speaker 1:

First off, what kind of conversations are we having over fruit cups if y'all don't take it well? Well, anyway, this. This just can't be. His parents, melissa and cole, decide that they need to get married sooner rather than later. Now, both of them are just coming off of two marriages. I don't see any reason to make a big fuss. You're already shacked up. You already got the baby. Go down to the courthouses, make it official like the referee whistle. However, that can't be. This will not happen until her marriage to Lance is annulled. Now we're all expecting this to be a big problem. I certainly did, and Angela has somehow become privy to this information, although this was a very private conversation inside of Cole and Melissa's bedroom, which we see a lot of this season.

Speaker 1:

She calls Lance into her office and she says hey, kid, I need you to stall, I need you to take as long as possible. Make Melissa's life as difficult as you possibly can. Please don't divorce her. Excuse me, don't get your marriage annulled. He's like sure. What does he do? He walks down to the church himself personally, talks to somebody, gets the paperwork, brings it to Cole and Melissa by the episode's end and says, hey, I already filled out my part. Fill out by the episode's end and says, hey, I already filled out my part. Fill out your part, unless you want me to forge it for you. Like he's cool. Are we amicable? Absolutely, do they like each other? No, but I mean, what does she have that he wants? At this point, nothing. What does he have that she wants? At this point, nothing. There's no point even pissing off Angela, because both of them are liable to be put in and out of the wheel at least 14 more times before this series is over. So let's not stretch out any other part of our lives, let's just get this done and you can marry goody two shoes over here. Now we get, ladies and gentlemen, to the main event. This is the best, best, best, best part of this episode.

Speaker 1:

Episode from the very beginning was to be the sole owner and operator of falcon crest. Chase swooped in after his father went off the side of a cliff, ruined all those plans, but she has come to semi sort of accept chase, but richard is yet another obstacle. What you have is three very different people with very different visions of this vineyard. And on today, richard has invited his partners, his brother and angela, out to some warehouses. They can bear witness. Uh, I guess the first. He has a truck full of wine, just keep that in mind.

Speaker 1:

So angela shows up and she keeps the old lady energy. You know an old auntie. She's just mad. It don't matter what you say, you can see, man, you look pretty today. I guess I should you drug me out of the house. Can't believe you brought me to this, but if you didn't, can't believe you didn't invite me. There is no winning here. Luckily richard don't give a damn.

Speaker 1:

So angela pulls up in the gotham city villain. Chase and Cole pull up in my dad's 1984 Chevy. Richard is glowing. Actually, for those of you not watching, you need to get to a TV with the quickness. Richard and Chase look okay. All the dudes in this scene look extra good. I don't know if they got some new conditioner. I don't know if there was a new stylist, I can't quite put my finger on it, but they look more alive and I'm like is it because they're outside in natural light? Everybody looks good. You're realizing, if not for the first time, one of the first times. Okay, this is why they're on the soap operas. You already know how I feel about Chase. Chase looks extra extra fine this episode. I'm sorry, let me get back on track. Um, yes, angela is irritated that she is. She's been drug out of her house. She has on her tuesday fur instead of her tv fur. She had no idea there were going to be photographers here, so she's pissed about that.

Speaker 1:

Richard is not letting any of this get to him again. He is a businessman. He is going to present this business. He understands the press. Or they open the door to the warehouse in a very dramatic fashion. A big old mack truck comes pulling out with a tank filled to the tippy top of wine and, as I'm saying this out loud, hmm, okay, I didn't really think about this before now, in 1984, 85, where would that wine go? Because it's in the same sort of trucks that delivers gas today. I don't know where that would go. I've seen this with milk, so perhaps it goes into like a larger vessel and then is bottled. And because they won't allow him to bottle his quote-unquote lighter fluid at Falcon Crest, I guess he had to find somewhere else to take it. I'm very confused. Damn Okay, we're not going to get. I'm not going to get hung up on that.

Speaker 1:

Let's keep the story moving. Just know that there is an 18-wheeler carrying around Richard's lighter, fluid, cheap table wine. Let Chase and Angela tell it. So, within a few minutes of departing the warehouse, you see this standard issue 1980s blacked out, getaway van filled with kidnappers or, in this case, wine nappers. They trap the driver of the 18 wheeler, snatch them up out of the front seat, rough them up a little bit, steal the truck and I'm like, oh my gosh, this is a heist. They're going to take the truck. They're going to ask for money to get it back. No, no, no. They drive promptly to what I thought was a children's park but I guess it was just the opening to some sewer or some sort of drainage system and they release all of the wine.

Speaker 1:

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it's been a very long time since I've done so little theater, but I'd like for you to imagine this little piece of fan fiction In my heart of hearts. This story is so much better If they're dropping this wine off at a park. Can you imagine how lit the play dates would have been that day. Can you imagine all those very tired soccer moms and stay at home dads chilling at the park? Their kids are running amok. One of them is downwind from the little valley where they drop the wine. One of the moms smells it because you know moms know what wine smells like. She goes over there with the baby Timmy's little thermos the old school ones I used to have, and like back in the day where you could take the top off and it was a cup, she starts scooping it in the. It could happen. Listen, if you watch this show, it's very much. It's not like in dirt, it's on this, like concrete runoff again. I thought it was a park in my head. That's what happened. So all the moms had a damn good day at the park.

Speaker 1:

Anyway, this does not go over well with Richard Once he realizes that his truck has been snatched up and all the contents of said truck have been emptied into some drainage system, feeding all the alligators, rats and ninja turtles that live in the sewer system at Tuscanyany valley. He's pissed. As a matter of fact, he's pissed and he wants to point fingers. He's like I know exactly who did this, somebody who either has a bad perm or looks like they have a bad perm. Matter of fact, I'm calling both of them right now. I'm cussing both of them out today, right now leather pants. Pam is like I don't know rich he's. I don't want to hear it. I know it was him. So keep in mind that the truck, the truck is still kind of parked.

Speaker 1:

Catawampers behind Richard, angela and Chase show up. Angela comes back in the billing car, chase back in my dad's Chevy. Richard's like yeah, hey, thank you. Thank you for showing up, making time of your busy schedule. I thought you'd want to see the mess you made. Chase and Angela have no idea what he's talking about. She's like oh, I mean, did you park your truck like that so you could age your wine? Like what is this? Chase walks up and he's like did somebody really pour all your stuff down the drain? It seems like a likely story. I'm paraphrasing here. Oh, you're really on your Al Pacino today because you sound like you. You seem like you really don't know, and Chase is like I don't, but I do know what it feels like have to pour a lot of wine down the drain and then he kind of sniggles like he made a dad joke and Angela's like you, really didn't Stop talking boy.

Speaker 1:

Angela is just as lovely as a gentleman in this scene. She is in her Tuesday fur fur, which is a gray wool coat with a fur collar, and she's wearing gloves. This is all in wine country, california. I didn't know it was this chilly all year round, but they seem to wear a lot of clothes on this episode. Everybody's wearing a white sweater or some some combination of sweaters in either white or red.

Speaker 1:

Back to richard and chase. So richard's like you know what. Chase, this is real cute. You can drop the act. I know it was. I know it was one of the two of y'all. I know one of you curly coif convicts did this because you're jealous of my insatiable appetite for success and my successful wine. If you have the audacity to pour down the drain, then you're going to stand in front of me, in front of God and everybody, and tell me you didn't do this to my face.

Speaker 1:

Chase is like calm down. You were. Your imagination is out of control at this point. So richard wants smoke. He did not call them all the way down here, for absolutely nothing. He's like you know what didn't your son almost go to jail for killing somebody. And chase is like oh, no, hell, no, oh, you want that kind of smoke, you want that problem today. Don't ever bring up my kid again. Don't you ever bring up my kid again. Angela is not helping. By the way, richard's like well, he was pretty pissy the other day. Your son was awfully mad because his champagne went down the drain and I was like, yeah, I mean yeah, he was you right, cole. Then reiterate, excuse me. Chase reiterates keep my son's name out your mouth.

Speaker 1:

Chase sort of bumps richard with his chest. Richard's like this today is not the day I will not get bullied. He revs back, reaches his fist back to nevada. He's gonna not chase his head. Smooth off his shoulders. Revs back. Now, chase, you know he was in the army, he's a pilot, he's got those reflexes we all need. He easily ducks. He easily ducks richard punch, oh my gosh. Easily takes a punch and unfortunately somebody gets punched in the face. The camera's on Richard. Then Richard just goes. Oh my God, I'm done. Now Chase raises up from the squatting position. They turn around. Tell me why. Angela, lord, lord, they got her. They got her. My girl is 10 feet away, slung up against the side of some sort of cement structure. He cold cock, angie, how are you going to knock out an old lady now? I'm going to hell for laughing with you, oh my gosh.

Speaker 1:

Okay, back in like the late 90s, early 2000s I think I've spoken on this show about it just a little bit there was this daytime soap opera that used to come on right after days of our lives called passions. I believe they have a podcast now. I really want to listen to it, but I really want to watch passions. I can't seem to find it anywhere. Anyway, on passions, it's this little town, right, same old story rich family, poor family. There's intermingling upset families, there's villains, there's good guys, there's everything in between.

Speaker 1:

But this show had a special twist because there was a witch, a 300 year old witch named tabitha, who loved quiche and stirring up trouble. Tabitha had a trusty sidekick, which was a quote-unquote doll that she carried around with her, named timmy. Now timmy would come to life all the time and it's just so weird because Tabitha was kind of known as a weird, eccentric lady about town who walked around with this doll. But Timmy could come to life, and I think the actor that played Timmy it's hard to tell. Since he was a doll, I think he probably would have been been. Let's say he's between like 16, let's say between like 14 and like 20, so he's a young man, child, older child, whatever. So she could have easily just let him be alive and walk around. But for whatever reason they man, sometimes Timmy would have to fall back at the doll for him and when he did he would just kind of slump over just like a Chucky doll. That's what they got my girl, angie, out here looking like tossed, like Timmy.

Speaker 1:

The funniest part of all of this is that their response was like it wasn't like oh my god, let's get her to a hospital. Chase. Chase was like dang it rich, I'm gonna get in trouble because I ducked. I know I'm gonna get in trouble, sure enough. Next thing they show my girl on the couch with one of those hot water bags or ice bags you know the ones you put in your freezer. It's made of silicone with a little top on with a little twisty knob on top. She's holding it to her chin and the man was like you know, you can sue them, you can sue richard. That was clearly assault, but angie goes well, it was chase who ducked.

Speaker 1:

I'm like now, how this man, why are his reflexes on trial here, richard, I guess, is sort of feeling himself, or just maybe he feels bad, for he's like you know. You really should go to a hospital and check that out. She's basically like boy bye. I grew up with a brother. I used to knock him out. He knocked me out one time. I knocked him out twice. Please, you hit like a woman, hit like a girl. Rich, tell you, went to boarding school. She's acting all tough. I just hate that. The implication is that Chase should have been a man and taken the punch. But I mean, eh, eh, no sense in everybody being knocked out. Who knew Rich had it in him? I guess milk does a body good and he is all of six, four. So hey, that was going to hurt, even if he wasn't that strong. But that's neither here nor there.

Speaker 1:

Angie decides to put this on ice temporarily. We will revisit this at another time, but in the meantime, in between time, it is abundantly clear that there is something going on. Someone wants us pitted against each other. We all have this business at play. Chase got poisoned, you got drained. It's only a matter of time before they come for me who could want us out of business like this. This is a little confusing because I don't binge them all at the same time, but we, the audience, have known about DeBercy as his name this whole time. We've known he's Johan Rebmann's son. We know Johan Rebmann is gone. We know they're all connected to the cartel. Chase didn't know that for a long time. Neither did Angie.

Speaker 1:

It is at this moment that Richard comes clean about the cartel, johan Rebmann and his affiliation with his mother. Jacqueline angela, of course, scoffs like dang, your mother wasted no time or talent, did she? Mind you, she's got a nice pack on her chin. Well, chase is like rich, it can't be johan reban because he's dead, but we heard he has a son. So we're looking for someone who's much younger and you know he's running the cartel, as far as I can tell. And Rich was like well, how do you know that you're working with the government? They don't really get into a bunch of the details, but it's all coming out. Angie's like okay, cool, so the cartel is possibly here.

Speaker 1:

We're looking for a younger guy. Why would he want Falcon Crest? Chase says I mean it's legit, it's power, it's wealth. I mean it's, it's a perfect front. If you think about it, this is where the manimal's talents come through. He not only has a wonderful head of hair, he says well, angie, the only person who's been wanting to buy you out is de bercy, aka little reedman. And she says well, it can't be him. Didn't you look him up? Didn't you go through his record? Manimal says well, you know now that I think about it, maybe it was a little bit too clean. Nobody that wealthy is that squeaky clean. So I mean, it probably is him. And through deductive reasoning and light investigation throughout the rest of the episode, kind of put two and two together, come to the conclusion that it's probably the bursey slash reedman.

Speaker 1:

But now before he has a wonderful afternoon on his yacht in a crisp white sweater with a wonderful and whimsical emma. Now emma gets the jaw jack and you know she's so poetic and romantic. She starts talking about tunnels and stuff under her, how she believes her sister's alive, but no one else believes her. And he's like well, why would you say that? Mind you, he's also pretending to be the psychiatrist. She tells him well, we have all these tunnels under Falcon Crest. Now, this is music to his treasure hunting ears. Let the games begin he's like oh, do tell. She's like well, you know, back in the day, back to prohibition and stuff, people used to have to do some funny things, do something strange for a little change. Well, no, that's probably not how that saying is supposed to go, but basically there were tunnels built underground so that booze could be transported to and fro. Probably they're even older than that. So he's like OK, like, okay, bet, that's wonderful. For no other reason than I need to say this.

Speaker 1:

I don't think I've ever fully expressed this yohan reedman's son, aka de bercy, aka dr psycho, loves to draw this particular woman and her boobs all the time. He'll draw for a little bit, he He'll make her hold an apple, then she has to take off her top. I didn't realize she was also his secretary until the end of this episode where she shows up on Angela's door. But let me back up just a little bit. Deversi comes to Angela's home after he spent some time with Emma on his yacht. Angie tells him don't come back here, no more, I don't like you, I don't want you around my daughter. Don't ever show up here again. You know how this man takes rejection. I'd be terrified to piss him off if I knew his history, which they don't. Angela doesn't give a damn. So DeBercy Reidman goes back to his house. He tells Hopless Tanya the secretary hey, I need you to go back over there and handle it. He then goes down to the cellar or wherever he's keeping Julia and he's like why didn't you tell me how you really escaped? She's like what are you talking about? There was a tunnel, like I mean, I didn't think it was that important. The fact that I'm like here is what I thought was the best part of the story. But I mean sorry, I didn't include all the logistics. How do do you know about that? Anyway, only my uncle and my little sister know about that. Well, my episodes end.

Speaker 1:

The Falcon Crest gang has fully decided. You know what it's, debercy. Debercy is Johan Riemann's son. Unfortunately for them. They have this entire conversation in Angie's study, next to the unassuming eavesdropping giant sculpture in her corner. Topless Tanya the secretary is in. Given her marching order, she goes over to the house Falcon Press that is and she pretends to be a legal assistant for the manimal. Oh, mr Reardon wanted me to pick up some paperwork here.

Speaker 1:

Charlie goes to get the door. Angie's there with him and she's like oh Charlie, I can handle this. She thinks a woman has some dirt, that she's dug up on someone. Only this woman reaches into her brown purse and starts brandishing a weapon. Only she's holding it palm side up, like she's handing the gun over to Angela. Now Angie is at first she's smiling, looking at her. She looks down at the gun and says the most gangster thing I've ever heard on this show. Let me make sure I paint this picture. Well, topless tanya is holding the guy, the guns catawampers, in her hand, palm up. This is an invitation to spend the evening with gustav reidman. Angie, with a full gun, pointed, pointed at her gut, rolls her eyes, scoffs and says over my dead body, in other words, you're going to have to shoot me. If you're going to pull that thing out, you better use it and shoot me. But then, topless Tanya's like well, well, there's a special guest, your daughter julia. End scene. Angie looks all shocked. I find this a little.

Speaker 1:

This is the first time falcon crest has kind of gone completely off script. It's not unusual in a soap for the the characters to. They have to kind of quickly get over things, they have to quickly move on. But this season they started out painting her as a grieving mother and a grieving widow to Philip, when in actuality she never showed either one of them. Very much emotion seemed like Julia just kind of get on her, got on her nerves because she was weak. She was a means to an end because of Lance. But there has been a little bit of mommy guilt this season. But now Herm-Ra, god has a weapon on her. Is she going to follow this woman? Unfortunately, I think she is. Angela clearly doesn't fight. If Charlie was there I thought maybe he could take this girl out, but there's no threat.

Speaker 1:

Richard, chase and the manimal are headed to San Francisco in the back of a limo. So at this point in this series, everything is out. Richard has confessed to being in the cartel to everyone. Chase asked him you know how long have you been in cahoots with these people? Richard claims he let go of them years ago. That is not true. It was like a year ago.

Speaker 1:

So Chase starts putting two and two together. He's like so did they have something to do with the plane crash? It kind of seems like they did. Richard was like yeah, and Chase is like well, ain't this some really? Richard goes. Well, listen, listen. The manimal and Angela, were the ones who were content to set you up. I never set you up. Let the record reflect. I was on your side the whole time.

Speaker 1:

So now it's all out in the open, all the secrets that we know, as the audience, the families at Falcon Crest know. They're now trying to tiptoe around to get the drop on Reidman before he realizes that they know who he is. Only they are unaware of the spy tactics and that topless tanya is kidnapping angela as we speak. There was a lot of elderly abuse in this episode. However, if anybody can handle it, it's big ang.

Speaker 1:

Can't wait to see what happens on the next episode. I forgot. There's one little part. Chase is telling Maggie everything over dinner and she's like wait, wait, wait, tell me again, tell me again. So you ducked and Richard knocked out Angela, not them being messy over dinner. But that is how the cookie crumbles. I'm excited. We're 10 more episodes, I believe. A little less than 10. A little more than 10 episodes. Um, julia's still alive. Julia's still running around. She hasn't actually done anything yet. So I can't wait to see what happens on the next episode. In the meantime, in between time, keep an eye out the next time you're at the park for a play date. You never know when a tanker is gonna spill 25 000 gallons of lighter fluid. Booze, stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business and keep all of your drama on tv. Thank you, bye.