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S4 EP20 Falcon Crest: Forsaking All Others- The " Wedding Do-Over and Don't You Ever!" Episode

• Jett Shae • Episode 286

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Wedding bells turn to funeral dirges in "Forsaken All Others," as Cole and Melissa's long-awaited nuptials end in heartbreak and public humiliation. After years of on-again, off-again romance, shared parenthood, and finally finding their way back to each other, everything shatters when Cole leaves Melissa standing at the altar—all because of a secret Angela Channing strategically revealed at the worst possible moment. The devastation unfolds against the backdrop of Angela's masterful manipulation. Having recently shed rare tears over Julia's return from presumed death, Angela seems determined to compensate by destroying someone else's happiness. Upon discovering Melissa can't have more children due to medical complications, she waits until wedding morning to whisper this information to Cole, knowing exactly how his temperamental nature will respond. The wedding scene itself is absolutely gut-wrenching—Melissa radiant in her gown, Chase proudly walking her down the aisle, little Joseph watching his parents' big moment—only for Cole to fall silent when asked if he takes her as his wife. Meanwhile, the Tuscany Valley vineyard drama continues on multiple fronts. Richard encounters new advertising executive Cassandra Wilder, who firmly establishes professional boundaries despite his interest. Lance takes extreme legal measures to prevent Lorraine from terminating her pregnancy, serving her with papers at the medical clinic itself. And Julia's resurrection from supposed death creates complex legal challenges the family must navigate carefully, with plans to sequester her at a convent where she can continue her wine studies away from prying eyes. What makes this episode particularly powerful is how it exposes the fragility of relationships built on unstable foundations. Despite their shared child and years of connection, Cole's impulsive abandonment of Melissa reveals how easily progress can be undone by secrets, miscommunication, and outside interference. Will Melissa ever forgive him? Can the Channing's protect Julia from legal consequences? And what new schemes will Angela concoct now that she's back to her villainous ways? Tune in next week as the emotional aftermath unfolds and new battle lines are drawn across Tuscany Valley.

Speaker 1:

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome, or welcome back to your stove floor of the official gathering place for newbies, novices and OG diehard fans of the golden age of primetime. I'm your host, jad, viewing and reviewing the Sophia Setzi's primetime storyline of 1985. So, whether you're new to this or true to this, get back and enjoy. Tell the kids it's time to play outside, or out of sight, tell babe, no questions, suggestions or concerns for the next 25 to 35 minutes. Everyone else, in earshot, cool, quiet or kicked out are your only options, because we are watching our stories. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is so cool. Hello, gorgeous. Welcome back to another fun little edition of so far. I hope your day is shaping up well. I got found a little bit of a wrench, but I think it's a blessing. In disguise, go ahead and kick off your shoes, put on on your silk robe, whatever you need to do, feel comfortable because we are deep diving into our stories. Oh, what a day. We're back on the West Coast, where they always do the absolute most, and Falcon Quest is back on their bully. Nothing like a little bit of destruction of an enemy. You know, my enemy's enemy is my friend. That's all cute until your enemy is done. Then what is your enemy's friend, your enemy? Did I say that? Right, doesn't matter. Go ahead and grab yourself something bubbly and bright. Let me tell y'all what happened.

Speaker 1:

I am actually going to be enjoying a already cracked open bottle of sparkling Saratoga water. Tell me why. I'm in the kitchen and I noticed my kid is sipping on something Looks like water. He goes mom, that water was really good. What water are you talking about? It was all the water in that blue bottle. So I'm looking in the fridge. It must've been damn good, because tell me why there's only a third of it left. It better still sizzle. Okay, we're good, we're still in business. In order to save myself some dignity, I am going to pour this into a wine glass.

Speaker 1:

Today, I feel like it's appropriate to watch Falcon Crest with the wine glass. Also, I have this hostage situation of a charcuterie board today. It was basically boiled eggs and had a couple of reasons, but we're going to make it do what it do. We're going to pretend like this is fresh, crisp Sarasota water that has been unopened and drank by a kid who all of a sudden developed a taste for it, and I am eating something fantastic as we dive into season four, episode 20 of falcon crust forsaken all others in the kids defense. This water is delicious. I had been saving it like it was fine wine in the refrigerator for probably a month. I kind of forgot it was there. So I can't believe it's a third gone To me.

Speaker 1:

It feels like 30 episodes. Is God, that seems like a lot. I know Grey's Anatomy maybe does that from time to time, but dang 30 episodes of a continuous serial story seems like it's a lot. This one doesn't disappoint, though. So when last we left Berse, aka Reidman, aka Mr Still, both your daughters and brandish a weapon at you so I can get your falcon crest super secret temple of doom type Goonies gold rush, I don't really know we saw DeBercy under a beam in an abandoned mine shaft with Hobby Lobby craft store jewelry in a little tub. That is just so disappointing to me. I cannot stress enough.

Speaker 1:

The whole point of having money is so that you don't have to do the mundane. Why on earth wouldn't you just hire some expendables to go into this cave and make sure that everything was there? What say ye? They got down there and it was nothing but like a bunch of old dresses or something you didn't, cussed out, killed, maneuvered, blew up your father, stolen houses for dresses, for costumes. T'was not the case. Chase, richard and Angela put their beef aside for two or three episodes so that they can concentrate on bringing down this nincompoop. It was odd to me, and I totally forgot, that they still don't really know why Reidman went down to those mineshafts. They are none the wiser as to why he did that. They just know he was part of the cartel and as far as they're all concerned, that was the biggest threat.

Speaker 1:

Now that all of the enemies seem to be at bay, it's time to focus on other things and for three or so people on this episode, there are big, big choices to make. You have to make choices that are going to change the course of history and your life as we know it here. On this here, falcon Crest, we're going to go ahead and start with the bit players, because that's how we get down On this episode. It happens to be Richard. Now I don't know if Richard had an. Oh, it just gosh.

Speaker 1:

A lot of times things are coming to me as I'm saying them out loud for the first time, richard is walking around with a cane this episode. I thought maybe he just wanted to see. No, I didn't. I'm not even going to sit here and lie. I knew he didn't want to look cool, but I thought the actor must have had an accident and needed to came. But as I'm saying it out loud, he all, he too, escaped the mine shaft. He did a couple tuck and rolls. His stunt double was doubling. I don't know where they found a six foot four string bean in a mcgruff, the crime dog jacket or hell. Maybe it was two little kids standing on each other's shoulder. I don't know. But all that ripping and running and rolling and rocking in that cave must have shook his ankles or, you know, loosened his Achilles tendon or something. So he shows up to meet Terry and, for whatever reason, they're not meeting at the horse place, they're not meeting at the race at Tuscany Downs, they're meeting at just some no-name hot dog stand on the side of the road. He pulls up in a limo because he's very discreet and Terry comes out with layers and gloves.

Speaker 1:

People help me out my West Coast soap fiends. I understand there's different climates, like I understand people in Maine or up north, maybe even Seattle in the United States. I'm sure people in the UK could probably say the same thing. I understand it's chilly, but is it chilly enough for layers all year long? I understand San Francisco near the bay is a little bit choppy.

Speaker 1:

I was a kid. I'm really fascinated with Alcatraz. For some reason I think I saw a prison movie on HBO. Oh God, that could be a total other series. All the things I had absolutely no business watching as a kid. Anyway, I remember reading about it. Later on I kind of got into that whole situation and they were saying that the waters there are so like it's really really choppy, they placed the prison on this rock for that. For that reason, like it was going to be difficult to get to and from. So if ever someone escaped, the chances of them like swimming to shore were going to be slim to none. So I understand like the breeze off the ocean is going to be quite frigid, but it's also the pacific. So I'm very, very confused as to why terry and richard are dressed in all these diagonal layers in the middle of the day at this random hot dog shack while they're ordering their hot dogs.

Speaker 1:

Terry reveals intel she got from the manimal in their little tryst morning. Previous Some higher up judge early in the morning and why this is important. I'm sure I don't know. I had all but forgotten why Terry was chasing in behind the manimal it was Craig Reardon. Richard quickly reminds her that if she has any more information, she had better tell him with the quickness, or he was going to make sure the Florida man was going to be released from whatever prison he's in so that he can wreak havoc on her life. She's like okay, okay, chill, richard, chill, chill, chill. He's on xyz, he's on him and Angela. I don't know why he's meeting with the judge. That's all he told me. I, I'm sorry, damn Damn, I forgot that. She is Letting the manimal disrespect her and her Nordstrom rack outfits, all so that she can not be harassed and haunted by Joel the Florida man. I would take my chances if I were her, but that's just me. I don't really remember why Richard cares about the manimal or Angela's plan.

Speaker 1:

The manimal seems to be just this throwaway, not a throwaway character. He's replacing Phillip and I guess he's young enough to be a quote unquote sex symbol. It's still quite boring. He doesn't really pose a threat outside of Angela. But I suppose Richard, old habits die hard. He can't give up that spying and just keeping an eye on everyone so that he knows every move that they make. Anyway, he gets back to his newly decorated office and he gets this little postcard that says everybody wants Francesca, or something to that effect. Remember, francesca is a woman he dropped leather pants Pam for, who turned out to be Angela Channing's sister. They got the same daddy. Francesca was disgusted by the way they treated family over in the Americas. She did a little tarantula dance, she clip-clopped and crip-walked all over everybody and then got on the first plane to Italy where she can revive her own vineyard. So I think at first he's thinking, okay, is this me? What is this about? Francesca is his brand.

Speaker 1:

Eventually we find out that it is this new hot shot, sort of PR advertising woman. Surprise, surprise, her name is Cassandra Wilder. We have a late entrance, I would say. She is showing up on episode 20, season four of Falcon Crest. She's clearly going to be the new love interest. She's very pretty, she's kind of a high powered advertising agent. I suppose it feels a little bit like a PR lady. And this is where I don't regret my decision to kind of compare apples to apples. Yes, we don't have the versus versus anymore. I might bring that back, but Think about it. On Dynasty, we have Tracy as a PR extraordinaire, who's a little bit of trouble, and then we have Leslie on Dallas.

Speaker 1:

All of this is season four. All of these women are going after these high powered men. It's not very original. I'm like dang, you would think they would scramble this a little bit better. But no, why reinvent the wheel, as they say. So this feels like a little bit of a borrowed storyline. You just got to tweak a couple of things in order to make it different and we'll just sort of see how this turns out. But Cassandra Wilder is not coming on. She's not really feeling Richard, or at least she doesn't appear to be feeling him. She says I'm a professional woman, I don't mix business with pleasure. Yeah, that's what they all say. Terry can breathe easy because the man has work to do. He has to go to Angela's to try to sort things out. I suppose Now this is where you start to see the facade break a little bit. I think we're about to have a little bit of drama between Angela and he because of this.

Speaker 1:

You know, they found Julia. Julia is alive and well. However, it isn't like they can really tell anybody. Julia's already tried to turn herself in once and they just laughed at her. So now that there is even more proof she's back in her own county. Things could get very, very messy very quickly.

Speaker 1:

Luckily, falcon Crest seems to be a sprawling property. The chances of someone just showing up unannounced, other than to kidnap, are slim to none. She can walk about the property, she can walk about the house pretty freely. So there is the business of deciding how she's going to live, and then there's the business of let's tell. Let's tell Lance, because Lance is none the wiser. He's been out sleeping with Maureen, or whatever her name is. Craig the animal and Angela definitely disagree on how to tell Lance and what to do with Julia. Ray Riordan is a lawyer and he's Angela's lawyer. The best thing here, in his opinion, is hey, we got to figure out how we're going to turn her in.

Speaker 1:

Angela's like over my dead body. Absolutely not. I refuse to do that. I can't. I can't do that to her again. She's showing all these emotions. She's a loving mother. Emma's in the room she hears as she starts to flip out. Big mother, if you had just remembered and listened to me, then this never would have happened when I was telling you she was alive and she was like I know, darling, I'll never doubt you again. Give her two episodes.

Speaker 1:

Then, to add insult to injury, emma says at least Reidman listened to her and took care of her. He gave her someone to talk to. Madam, that is, that's a stretch. That's a stretch at best. I mean yes, yes, he pretended to be a psychiatrist. Yes, he did give her food and shelter. However, god my out, my argument is falling apart as I say it out loud, it's not the same thing. It was all for. It was a ruse, it was all a means to an end. He simply wanted information. Once he got it, who knows what he was going to do? He'll blow up his own father. The Channings are, you know, might as well be prepared to be men's meat. You're like there's no way you were going to survive that.

Speaker 1:

But Emma is beside herself and she goes running upstairs and I do believe, ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in Falcone Crust history, first or second, I feel like she might have almost cried. Once angela channing loses it a little bit, you can tell she wants to chase emma. She doesn't scoff at her, I mean, she's as beside herself as angela will allow herself to get. She's like god. Do you think peter rabbit died instead of reedman? What the heck? She's upset because she's like these people are not apt to run this empire. God, what if I had effed around and died? What if I had gotten shot? What if the topless tanya had called my bluff, shot me with that pistol? I would have bled out right there in the front door. And you know craig is like you're right, you're right, you're right here here.

Speaker 1:

So Angela allows two or three tears to fall from her eyes and Craig Reardon hands her his handkerchief. She wipes her eyes but then the old lady in her kicks in. She starts wait, is this silk man? You too much money? I love it. You know it's beautiful to see her show a little bit of emotion from time to time, but unfortunately or fortunately, depending on what you like that's going to cost the rest of the cast dearly. Those two tears in a very shallow bucket are going to cost somebody some pain and heartache. She can't be out here showing emotions.

Speaker 1:

I also need to correct myself when I said Terry had on layers and layers and layers. I'm thinking about a different scene she actually had on the exact same or very, very close to the same outfit Angela had when she got knocked out, not two episodes ago. But the point remains. I did not realize that if you're inland I can't imagine you'd need all these layers in the middle of the day. Tv shows always do that, though the characters are never actually dressed for what they need to be. You ever notice that, like the kids in school are showing their midriff, they're wearing just God knows whatever the cheerleaders have on their outfits every single day? Totally ruined high school for me when I got there and realized that was all a farce.

Speaker 1:

We got to talk about the choices here on this episode. So the choice is made pretty quickly and kind of unanimously that Lance needs to know that his mother is alive. So he comes home from work one night and he's just trying to get upstairs and wash a little sweat and little stank off of him. All he wants is a hot shower. I do find it ironic that Lance is a sort of man who will canoodle with every woman in the valley in a hotel motel holiday and barefoot but naked in the sheets. But he won't use the hotel bathroom. Make it make sense. He wants to clean himself off properly at home. I don't know, Maybe he has a custom body wash, I'm sure I don't know. But when he gets there he sees Julia and she explains everything. I'm just going to kind of condense that. She explains everything and Angela does her due diligence to convince the judge who convicted Julia that Angela would stop at nothing to make his miserable existence all the more miserable if he doesn't turn his head or reevaluate or let's sort of ignore the previous conviction.

Speaker 1:

My daughter was absolutely out of her mind. She was a kookaloo times 15. She had no business representing herself in court. We're going to call it a mishaw. We're going to do all the things you couldn't really do in real life but you can on Falcon Crest, because we got money, we got wine, we got mighty morphin lawyer and an old lady with a grudge because she let her. She let someone see her crack. So the judge is like okay, fine, fine, fine, I have enough dirt on me. I really don't want no problems with you or your daughter. Fine, by the end of the show it is decided that Julia will go to a convent where nuns will keep a nice eye on her to make sure she doesn't pop off and shoot anybody or do anything weird or crawl under a tunnel. She's excited because she can do wine science up there.

Speaker 1:

Kind of sounds like a cover, sounds like a laundering situation. I don't think none's running this. I think this is probably a money laundering station for mafioso types, maybe even the cartel, who knows. But by the end of the episode lance and his mother have reconciled. I'm not going to say, you know, every time I say Lance's acting gets better, it is better. I think in general conversation I think of it like learning a foreign language. You probably do well with the everyday. May I have some coffee? May I sleep with you? Are you on birth control? He gets away with that. But when it's time to fully emote and sort of be in the moment and embrace, kind of stumbles all over himself. But that's okay. Everything ain't for everybody and he had a much bigger career as an action star. So I'm not going to hate. I will hate on this next little decision he makes.

Speaker 1:

So you know he and Lorraine are going back and forth about this brand new Bambino in her womb. She wants to have an abortion because she is afraid that Richard is going to put Lance in prison. If Richard is already pissed that he's dating her. How much more pissed is he going to be when he finds out that she's carrying his child? I don't understand that train of thought, but you know what it works. So they, you know they're fighting, they're not fighting. He yelled at her the last time they were at the hotel motel holiday inn. Well, this time, right after you know post-coitus, he says hey, I got to have a present for you. And he pulls out a box and it's this like a yellow teddy bear, orange teddy bear, and he goes well, it's for all of us, it's for us and the baby. She goes listen, dude, I'm not having the baby. I've already told you I'm not gonna do it. He knows when her appointment is, but he's not taking no for an answer. Okay, hear me out.

Speaker 1:

I think in this situation I feel like if she wants to have an abortion and he doesn't want her to have an abortion, I wish they gave a better reason than oh well, richard's going to be angry with you like, well, no, he already is. What exactly are you losing? Y'all are still around. If he was going to put a hit out on Lance, I feel like it would have happened already, but this scene just comes off as super duper, whiny, very, very immature on both parties, like nobody's really making any sense. I almost wish she was like laundering money or she had stolen something. It just I just don't feel like the baby is enough leverage in this case. I know that goes against my beliefs. When it comes to soap operas. Yes, babies are leveraged. Not in this case, though. Not in this case. Well, that's irrelevant. What she wants is very irrelevant because she goes to have her appointment to go through with the abortion.

Speaker 1:

Tell you what the doctors and lawyers on these shows are. The moral compass is extremely, extremely strong. The lawyer on Dallas didn't want the Ewings to get a divorce. Well, doctor on Falcon Crest doesn't want her to have the abortion, even though that is his bread and butter business. So he's telling her girl, are you sure? I mean, you're very healthy, you're still so young, you really don't have to do this. Blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1:

But before she can really say anything else, in walks the sheriff. Can you imagine there's so many HIPAA violations in this scene? Almost vomited, she, the sheriff, walks in with like a cease and desist. As far as medical, I don't know if that's even a real thing. He has some sort of paperwork that puts a restraining order on her and the doctor, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know, I don't know. Insert any absurdity you want there, it doesn't really matter. The point is she is now legally bound and bar, legally bound to carrying the baby and barred from having the abortion because the alleged father of the baby, uh, put a restraining order or something against her. Make it make sense. That's taking to the extreme, but that's what we watch tv for. Right, I already know this is going to blow up into something crazy. It's also weird that Richard hasn't found out that this girl was pregnant. She's been tailed, she's basically followed everywhere she goes, but for some reason he's just kind of missing that detail.

Speaker 1:

First come love, then comes marriage, then comes so-and-so with a baby carriage. I remember that. I remember crying in elementary when someone was saying that stupidity to me and a boy. I didn't like it would freak me out. I take everything so seriously. But you know what? Sometimes a baby comes first, sometimes a marriage comes first and then you fall in love later.

Speaker 1:

Things happen, and unfortunately on this show, unfortunately on this show, the couple of the hour, melissa and Brooding Cole, are having a little bit of trouble. Remember he fell for her very hard. Then she messed around and got pregnant, but then she wanted the, the money and the power. So she married Lance. That didn't really work out. Then it did work out for a little bit. Then it didn't work out so much. Now she's back with Cole.

Speaker 1:

She is a reformed woman. She has turned away from her wicked ways, except for the occasional romp here and there with Richard. You know I'm saying remember she was totally sleeping with him the entire time she was pregnant. I forgot about that. Anyway, melissa, she's turned her back on that. She is a reformed woman. She wants to be an honest woman and she wants to get married to Cole and she wants to put that whole debacle of a first marriage all the way behind her. Cole tries to convince her hey, why don't we just elope? Absolutely not. I'm going to do this like this is my first wedding ever. I'm going to act like I don't know what anybody's talking about, nevermind that we have a full grown, talking baby walking around, nevermind that my last name is Cumsin. That ish didn't happen. It was my day. New wedding, new dress, new everything, everything which is cool. But when you think about it, her and cole have both been god, they've both been married and well, I suppose cole is a little bit different.

Speaker 1:

Cole is a widower. She is divorced, or is about she's sort of divorced, just not through the church. Anyway, it's all about Melly, mel and her wedding. But god, my issue with Cole stands. He has a hair print trigger. He's too easily provoked. It doesn't really matter what you say. He's gonna start brooding and flipping around. I want to know what was going on during this season. Was he dating one of the writers or whatever? Was he trying to stretch it out a little bit? Was he? Was he auditioning for another role? I don't know, but brooding, pissed off.

Speaker 1:

Cole makes several appearances this episode. So Melissa has a I guess you could call it a little wedding dinner shower where the ladies all meet up at this little restaurant. Everybody puts on their finest fur. That's what I'm talking about, west Coast. Do you get to wear fur coats? I doubt it. Anyway, that's irrelevant. Emma brings her some bunny slippers with a straight face. Terry and Maggie show up. You know what I'm saying. They got to support the niece-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Speaker 1:

Angela shows up. Julia would have made it, but on the account of her supposedly supposed to be dead and a fugitive. She couldn't risk it, she couldn't call her PO because she's supposed to be dead. Anyway, the gifts are being passed out and Angela is sitting there with that chest-shower grin and I'm like, okay, she's back on her bully, she's on one.

Speaker 1:

She passes Melissa a gift and it's her perfume and Melissa's kind of touched it first, like Angela, oh my God, you remembered, I didn't know you would do this. This is so sweet. She starts spraying it and Stevie, y'all smell it, Girl, don't they smell good? And Angela's like, oh, melissa, I don't want you to ever think that I could ever forget your scent. Basically, I'm on you, I'm on you like white on rice, I'm on you like stank on dookie. Don't let me catch you slipping little girl. And so Melissa's like, okay, damn, it's like that, angela, we still on this. So, uh, I think I can't remember if it's terry or it had to be terry, because nobody else cares I think they start talking about like more kids. And melissa's like oh, you know, I don't know, we think joseph's. Probably enough right now. So when everybody leaves a restaurant, angela kind of walks slowly with, uh, melissa, she goes. You handle that tacky comment by Terry so wonderfully, so much poise. Melissa says well, whatever do you mean? Angela, knowing good and well, she knows what she means.

Speaker 1:

Melissa had gone to the doctor previously because Paul had made an offhanded comment saying what if we named our daughter Margaret after her grandmother? And I'm like, who is Margaret? Forgot that could be Maggie. Oh, yes, I guess that is Maggie's name, margaret, and Melissa's like yeah, sure, then she goes to the doctor and she can't have any more kids. I kind of forgot about that. I forgot what sort of accident she had after Joseph. But according to the doctor, she's probably can't carry a baby. But there are other options. She's rich, her husband's rich, his parents are rich. We could probably get you a good adoption. Or if you want like the baby to be yours, we can do a surrogate. No big deal, I can send you information. I know a guy I can hook you up. Well, she didn't tell anybody this. Melissa didn't speak of this to anyone, but somehow Angela knows I'm assuming she knows because she lived in the house with her all this time. So she goes. That was so tacky of Terry to ask that and I guess they don't know that you can't have any more children.

Speaker 1:

Okay, remember how I said a few minutes ago that usually children are collateral, they're weaponized. This is weaponizing a child or the lack of a child. You see what I'm saying. This is a different circumstance. Now, even now I have to admit I'm a modern woman. Times are very, very different. I don't think anybody would weaponize that. I guess somebody is evil enough to do it.

Speaker 1:

But that doesn't seem like a deal breaker, especially since this is the first time Cole ever brought it up, and also, you already have a son with him. So it isn't like he's waiting on another heir, he has a boy. He has one of the most brilliant children ever. I don't think he's really tripping like that. And even if he were to find out, you could just be like okay, well, I mean, I didn't know if it was for sure. Like it's, doctors say things all the time hell, crystal's pregnant, so why can't melissa be pregnant anyway? And she's like oh, I just want to make amends with you. Blah, blah, blah here, girl, take my car. She gets in the car and it is craig reardon in the back seat, with champagne and flowers again.

Speaker 1:

This scene is really, really dumb. He tells her it's a kidnapping. She's like drop me off at the gas station. I certainly won't do that. I'm going to drop you off the house. Well, they must take a really long time, because Cole starts to get worried. He calls over to Falcon Crest like, hey, angela, I'm sorry, I'm looking for Melissa. Did she stop by there? Oh no, last time I saw her she was getting in a car with Craig Reardon. My nephew hangs up now. Cole good and pissed off. And then here comes Melissa coming into the house, sort of giggling like oh it's so silly. I went out to the car and then when I opened the door, craig Reardon was in it. So you know, cole, I'm gonna, I'm gonna say this is justified. He's gonna be big to be big mad about this.

Speaker 1:

They start to argue and they start to argue and then it carries on to the next day where they have this dress rehearsal or undress rehearsal at Chase and Maggie's going through the motions of their upcoming nuptials. They embarrass me personally. They embarrass me personally. Acted a fool in front of this priest who has already decided to kind of look the other way because y'all are scandalous in the way you got together. Now you want to act a fool in front of him, act like y'all can't stand each other. So they have the stupid little bickery argument. Everybody in the room was uncomfortable and probably annoyed. I know, at my big age now I'm like, dude, please don't call me out of the house for no foolishness. And if y'all think, if you're going to well, let me save, let's save that. Hold that thought. So you know they they make up enough to go ahead and have Cole's bachelorette party.

Speaker 1:

Now his is much swankier. Okay, actually it's not. Now his is much swankier Okay, actually it's not. His looks like a lot more fun. The people there look like they actually care about him. It's not just a bunch of hijitas who happen to be related to him, or viejos, I guess they'd be, but they are sort of nondescript. I guess they're the councilmen or whatever. Seems like Cole and Melissa need to get a social life and socialize with people their own age.

Speaker 1:

Anyway it's at the racetracks, they're all drinking beer. Chase is like clinking glasses. Hey, got a boy, good marriage, gulp, gulp, gulp. Well, they look over at the counter and we see, uh, craig reardon. So cole goes over and reardon's like hey, dude, why don't I go ahead and buy you a drink? I'm really happy for melissa if that's what she wants. I I'm glad she got it. Even if it is you, it is what it is.

Speaker 1:

Then they have a little beer. I noticed right away that Reardon drains his glass where Cole just sips it. Then, out of nowhere, cole sneaks him, he sucker, punches him right across the face and what I tell you, when Raritan first off, that was the most beautiful flail I've ever seen in my life. He really sells it. He flies backwards, Ah, flail Lands on the ground and then he turns and he's smiling. I guess we'll have to catch up one day. Basically, like I'm going to get you, I'm going to get you, get you, little dirty bastard. You, I'm gonna get you watch, watch, or you least expect I'm gonna get you.

Speaker 1:

Chase has witnessed the whole thing. It's probably the first time in like eight months he's been super proud of his son. He's like yes, that's my boy, let's get to the getting. So the day of the wedding has arrived. I can't help but notice it looks like the exact same church that Lance and Melissa got married in Probably is, I don't imagine Tuscany Valley is massive long sleeve lace, poofy sleeves a little bit. She's got the little headrest or head piece seems like emma made it as the best what is it called? Made of honor? As made of honor, um lance ends up showing up.

Speaker 1:

Melissa's like what the heck are you doing here? His grandmama invited him just to stir the pot even further. So he talks to melissa before the wedding. But you know what, there's no hard feelings. He's just like okay, congratulations, you know what I'm saying. I'm happy for you, good luck with everything. I hope you have a great life. She's like oh, my god, thank you.

Speaker 1:

He does slightly reminisce about their wedding, and I thought they were gonna. You know, I thought I was gonna have a little quick, little hooky, hooky in the closet somewhere. They didn't. But he mentions that Cole hasn't made it. Well, cole's still at the house. He's looking for his car keys. He can't find them anywhere.

Speaker 1:

His mother comes floating down the steps. I'm sure she's on a little something fun, maybe a little edible or something, I'm not really sure. She starts to help him look for the keys. It's kind of clear that he's. There's something else bothering him. He's having a little bit of anxiety about the day in general. But she's like don't worry about it. This is your choice. It's not too late. If you want to bounce, listen, I can help you get out of here.

Speaker 1:

He's like mom, no, it's not even enough. I forget that. They don't like melissa, but you know they're enough. They're not the most hands-on parents, chase and Maggie, not really. She's like listen, all I'm saying is doesn't matter how I feel, it only matters how you feel, baby, and nothing and I do mean nothing is final. Until you say I do Just think about it. You change your mind. You change your mind. It is what it is. Okay, I guess I'm gonna go.

Speaker 1:

She goes to help him look for the keys. She goes upstairs and he's like still looking downstairs for stuff when the doorbell rings and it's Angela and Charlie. You know she came to be messy. I told you. She's just like let me ruin somebody's life. I can't be out here shedding tears. I have to shed blood. Let me go mess up something. So she's like baby boy, I wanted to give this to you.

Speaker 1:

This was your great grandpa's. It's like a wood. I don't know if it's for cutting meat like a knife set, but an older knife set. It looks like you would carve turkey or something with it, but it's been in the family. I did not know that that was a gift for men. I'll have to keep that in mind. I don't know if anybody would want that, but I think gift for men. I'll have to keep that in mind. I don't know if anybody would want that, but I think it's nice. I didn't realize it was an heirloom, I guess is what I mean. So Cole is a little bit touched, like dang. Thank you, great auntie Angie. I appreciate it. Barbecue next weekend with this.

Speaker 1:

What she says is oh well, you know you might like it and I'm sure your great grandpa would be so proud for you to have, and you can pass it down to joseph, since he'll be the only child. I was like well, you won't be an only child for long she goes. I'm gonna listen and tell you oh, baby boy, after her accident she was left barren. She didn't tell you. Oh, okay, my bad, I'm sorry. I guess y'all gonna adopt. That's cute or whatever. Let me, I'll talk to you later after the ceremony. Bye, baby.

Speaker 1:

She starts slinking out the door. So now he's holding these butter knives, these giant butter knives, and sporks and whatnot, and he's like what? The f? Maggie comes gallivanting down the stairs. I found them, but he's bothered now like she can't have a baby, as if she didn't bear his only son. By the way, baby joseph does show up. He looks adorable. Cole is like pinning on his corsage and he said don't crush my corsage. Joseph has somewhere to be after this. He was going to recycle that. You better not crush these flowers, man.

Speaker 1:

So the ceremony begins. Church is filled, music is there, there's flowers, the ambiance is perfect. They're married in this gorgeous, probably 300 year old church from all the people they love and it's like god, we're finally here. This is the moment you and me were supposed to be here. It was always supposed to be us. That's the look, and she is so happy, she is so proud. And to add to that joy, chase has put aside his disdain for her so that he can walk her down the aisle, looking like a whole snack.

Speaker 1:

They get to the end. The priest is like you know, you feel how you feel. You want to make this thing real. She's like I absolutely do. Do you know that? Cole broods and clenches his jaw and broods and clenches his jaw for an uncomfortable amount of time. And then this mother lover has the audacity. In front of Joseph, god and everybody in that church, he decides you know what? It ain't even worth it, leaves this girl at the altar. Now it is highly entertaining Watching everybody in the crowd kind of give each other side eye like, oh my God, is this for real?

Speaker 1:

Oh, yes, he did. Yes, he did, and you know what. This is unforgivable. I will forgive. Well, I'm going to be honest, I'm not emotionally involved enough with Cole to care one way or another. I was going to say I will forgive Gary before I forgive Cole, but you know what I won't? Yeah, I don't really care enough about Cole to care one way or another. This seems like such an odd way to break a deal, though. Why would this be the deal breaker? Because she didn't say anything. I don't see what difference it makes. I really don't. But again, it could be the times I don't know what the temperature was like in 1985.

Speaker 1:

I think a lot of times as I watch these shows, I'm looking at it through the lens of a modern woman, as I should. That's the whole point of the show. But also I forget how close the 80s were to the sixties and the seventies before. You know, women had as much. I see women in roles of authority, I see women taking charge all the time, and it's kind.

Speaker 1:

It's not hard to imagine that that wasn't always the case. But it is hard to imagine that these sort of natural occurrences maybe you can or you can't have a child that being like a scar or scarlet letter for her for some reason, like why would she be? Why would that be a deal breaker? You wouldn't marry the woman who's already bore your children because she couldn't have any more. That seems outrageous to me. It almost feels like bad writing, but I think that's part of the the charm of shows like this. You have to keep that in mind, and it's going to be challenging.

Speaker 1:

I think he's a child, though I think she doesn't need any more kids because she has a big giant one who's been pissed off at her. Now that I think about it. He's been brooding with her this entire season. Every time you see him he's topless and like greasy for some reason. I guess he's competing with Lance as the sex symbol, but they fight in that bedroom more than they do anything else. So that's where we at Cole had the full gall to get all the way dressed. That would have pissed me off. She was a hundred percent dressed. You could have told me this before we left the house. You could have called the church. Before I walked down that aisle, you chose to humiliate me, and so help me, god.

Speaker 1:

I hope Melissa is back on her bully. I hope she flips this on its head. There's no way he should be able to get away from this. There'd not be no third wedding. That's what I know. All right guys, that's it. That's all Little bit of a slow burn but, like I said, I still have faith. Seems like they put a pin in the whole Julia thing. Looks like we've got enemies revving back up. Richard's still looking at Anne-Marie on the side of his eye and now we have a little bit of unmerited bliss between Cole and that girl, meli Mel, join me next time as we jump back into some soap opera debauchery. I think we'll go over to Monsoleum. Let's keep them on the west coast, because they always do the absolute most. Hide your good water, stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business and keep all of your drama on TV. Bye.