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S4 EP23 Falcon Crest: The Trial- The " How Not To Win Friends And Influence People'' Episode

• Jett Shae • Episode 293

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You've never seen a trial quite like this! In "The Trial," Falcon Crest delivers courtroom drama with a corrupt twist as Richard Channing secretly bribes the judge to ensure Lance's conviction. Despite Angela's protests and Lance's emotional testimony about his love for his grandmother, justice hangs in the balance while the truth remains buried. This episode, masterfully directed by Robert Foxworth himself, showcases a remarkable moment when real-life connections elevate on-screen performances. The genuine emotion between Lorenzo Lamas and Jane Wyman—his actual godmother—creates a rare instance of authentic vulnerability in soap opera territory, proving that sometimes the most powerful scenes come from real relationships Meanwhile, heartbreak and opportunity collide for Melissa and Cole when they learn surrogacy might be their only path to another child. Just as they process this news, Melissa's beautiful cousin Robin arrives with perfect timing and unmistakable chemistry with Cole. Is this convenient coincidence or the setup for a complicated entanglement?< The mysterious Cassandra and her brother continue their covert infiltration of the Channing family, harboring secrets about their mother's connection to Angela. Their calculated approach to Richard and Emma suggests a revenge plot years in the making. Similarly, Connie Giannini's interest in Chase appears more personal than professional, creating potential fractures in his marriage to Maggie. Beyond the drama, Falcon Crest continues to surprise with its sophisticated fashion choices that defy the stereotypical 80s aesthetic. The elegant, timeless styling of characters like Angela, Connie, and even the antagonists provides a visual feast that feels surprisingly relevant decades later. What will Lance's fate be? How far will Richard's corruption extend? And what hidden connections tie these newcomers to the Channing dynasty? Pour yourself something "bubbly and bright" and join me as we unravel the tangled web of Falcon Crest's fourth season.

Speaker 1:

Testing testing 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. You look amazing. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome, or welcome back to Soap Floor, the official gathering place for newbies, novices and OG diehard fans of the golden age of primetime. I'm your host, jed Ewing, and we'll be doing the Stokias Betzius Primetime Trial of 1984 or 85. So, whether you're new to this or new to this, sit back and enjoy. Tell the kids it's time to play outside or outside. Tell they have no questions, suggestions or concerns for the next 25 to 35 minutes. Everyone else in the air show. You can be cool, you can be quiet and you can be kicked out because we are watching our stories. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is Boatman. Hello, gorgeous, hello, gorgeous. Welcome back to another fun little edition of so far. I hope your day is shaping up well. I am absolutely on the edge of my seat for the trial of the century well, not even close. So what y'all up to? What are y'all doing today? No matter what it is, I hope you are safe, I hope you are enjoying your time and I hope you are ready to get into this episode of falcon crest. I know what you're saying, jed. Didn't we just do falcon crest? Yes, we did, but somebody was a little bit overzealous with the episodes this season, so we're going to have to double and triple these up just a little bit so that we can have the season finales all at the same time. That is my total goal. I want to jump into a little bit of fan mail before we get into the episode. Today you guys have been super helpful, super vocal, whether or not to go to South Fork. A couple of other opinions about the male pageant. I haven't seen that in a while. Listen, I'm here for it. Go ahead and pour yourself up something bubbly and bright as we jump into season four.

Speaker 1:

Episode 23 of Falcon Crest, the Trial. I've said it once, I've said it a hundred thousand times they are not interested in being original with these titles, also not original with the stories. I'm like when was the last time we had a trial on this particular soap opera? Is this not trial? At least number three or so? Every season it seems like somebody is going to court and behind sets them. I remember a while back, like a long time ago, someone told me that Dallas and Falcon Crest often shared writers, like they just kind of flip back and forth between each other. I can see that Falcon Crest coming in as a final leg. It lets you do a little bit more People sort of forgotten storylines, and there's nothing new under the sun as long as you put your original spin on it. That's all that matters, and I think they did a pretty good job this episode. However, come on now. Lance, going to trial with someone who doesn't want to press charges, it's just, it's kind of silly. But if this is what they need, this is what they need.

Speaker 1:

I posed a question a couple episodes ago about whether or not I should truck on down to Dallas and have a weekend, have myself a good old country time at the South Fork Experience. It is a weekend in August where the cast of the show the original cast of the show is going to be on site at the actual ranch. Lucy will be there, mitch will be there, bobby will be there, sue Ellen will be there, looks like Ray will be there, I think Donna will be there. But then I had to kind of take a pause back because of the way I do this show. If you're new to this, welcome. So glad you found us today. Hope you enjoy yourself here.

Speaker 1:

I've never seen these shows before. I watched them with you. I was aware of Dallas sort of growing up in Texas, but not, I mean, I couldn't have told you very much about it, even less about Dynasty, even less about Northlanding and Falcon Crest. So that puts a little bit of a I have to, I don't know. It puts a little bit of caution in everything I do. Moving forward, I have to be a little bit more aware of situations as I walk into them and the consensus from you guys is a little bit mixed. So the one boy is like, yeah, go ahead and go to the shindig. There might be a couple of spoilers. However, if people understand that you're new to the fandom, they're going to be a little bit more receptive. They'll probably be a little bit more careful. I tend to agree with that. And also I think when you're walking into something and you just don't know, you just don't know there's going to be tons of people there. I won't know them from Adam. I don't know if they are cast or not, and even if they are cast, I don't know how they play into the story, if that makes sense. On the other hand, others are like, okay, I've been to situations like this and there's going to be nothing but spoilers. Somebody told me they specifically went to this particular picnic a couple years back and that's all they talk about is the story, which I mean is obvious. I guess I knew that.

Speaker 1:

I don't feel like this is an opportunity of a lifetime. I don't feel like I'm really missing out per se, but from what I've gathered from some of you, there's like a lady on here I'm so sorry I forgot your name. Let's call her Kelly. I'm sorry I can't remember your name. She said that she used to go to these cons all the time and it was just a wonderful opportunity. She's met all sorts of like daytime stars. It's been really fun. She's met some friends along the way, so I'm excited, I think, most about the community Actually I'm lying, that's a close second.

Speaker 1:

I'm most excited to see the Northland girls and Sue Ellen. I think if I could just meet Sue Ellen oh my gosh, I got to meet Valene. Meet Valene, the Vidalia Onion Queen. It would just be a travesty to be in the swampy North Texas heat and not say what's up to my girl, val. Lord, have mercy. I wish there was more of a con. Like you know, bravo has BravoCon. I wish they had a little segment. I'm going to start petitioning Andy Cohen. We need a little segment for the vintage soaps. That's what we need. We need a lot of that.

Speaker 1:

Kennedy says you really have nothing to lose. I think if nothing else, you'll gain more of a love for the show. If you attend. You could get some really cool pictures of the actual mansion. I'm sure there's a tour involved and at the end of the day, when you sit back home and watch the shows again, you're going to love it even more.

Speaker 1:

I agree, kennedy, I really do, so I think I might be heading up there. I just want to be careful. My sister told me to maybe look for Facebook groups or just look for groups of people who are maybe a little newer. That's kind of a challenge. As you know, I think most of the people who find my podcast have kind of stumbled on it. I ain't been real brave about advertisement. I'll have to change that. But I think it's just one of those things. You just happen upon something. You start to like it. Luckily we live in the time that we do, where you can Google and get a little bit more fan insight on it. But this is going to be fun. I'll have to make a decision here pretty soon.

Speaker 1:

Tia, who is watching these for the first time, like me. Welcome to the club, tia. She says Original Michael cannot be left out of this conversation. I've watched the other, diamond Steve, and I think new Michael is equally as hot. With that being said, you also have to include Jesse Metcalf.

Speaker 1:

Who the hell is Jesse Metcalf? I know that name, jesse Metcalf. Jesse Metcalf, oh, okay, there we go. I was. I think I was calling him um Desperate Housewives last time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's one of those. Um Lopez Fitzgerald I can't remember his government name on that show, but that's Teresa's little brother. Miguel was so fine, remember. Oh my God, if you didn't watch Passions, go peek. Now, that's Miguel and Teresa's little brother, gosh, his storyline is blurry, okay.

Speaker 1:

So I think I said with the male beauty pageant, I'll have to look again, seasons one through four of the original. But you know what? I will allow it, because how many episodes, how many seasons? Oh, I'm afraid to look. I'm afraid to look at Dallas, because I understand that Dallas is a continuation of the original Dallas as where the new dynasty is not the new dynasty is just a new story. But I have to agree with you, he would be hard-pressed to look over. You know what you write. I'm with you when you write.

Speaker 1:

Also, I do like Michael. I forgot about Michael. I kind of went through to bring messy Michael back from season one of Dynasty. He was back when Fallon was interesting, but we're not going to harp on that today. He was fine and I'd like to throw topless Tony in there. Tony is a heartthrob. Now are they going to win any titles? I don't know. Best looking, possibly Maybe we need a shirtless category. I got to get my mind right and get back on the ball. All right, that is enough jaw jacking about that. Thank you so much for your thoughts. Thank you for your input. I take it very seriously because I mean this is awesome. I am so happy that I started watching these shows and I'm like we all need to be watching these. All right, well, let's jump back to the west coast. Dang, I didn't talk about them at all today.

Speaker 1:

Season 4, episode 23 of falcon crest is a little bit of a special episode. I'll tell you why after you freshen up your beverage and let me freshen up mine. When I rewound the opening credits, I caught the little tail end of it and I was like, oh my gosh, did I read that correctly? Dude, this episode is called the Trial. We are back in the courtroom one more again to see if Lance is going to prison for attempted murder via vehicular I almost said manslaughter whatever. Allegedly he attempted to run his grandmother off the road. We all know, as the audience wasn't him at all. It was Florida man, joel McCarty, but he's busy at rehab or something. I think hell, he might have been pushed off the side of a highway, side of a cliff. Last time we saw Joel he was dressed like Usher. I loved his outfit. He was boarding a plane in the rain, allegedly. We didn't actually see him get on the plane. I kind of get the feeling he's gone. I think you can hear him.

Speaker 1:

Episode written by Earl and Paul but directed by none other than the aviator Adonis himself, robert Foxworth. I love it when the cast starts directing things. I think that's such an interesting pool. I would really like to see an episode directed by Jane Wyman. She could bring some of that old Hollywood glamour and discipline. I think it'll do. Well. I'm actually not finished with this one. I got as far as a trial. They are reconvening in the living room as we speak. I'm going to go ahead and finish that up and I'll come back. Okay, I just finished watching this episode and I have to say Falcon Crest, once again, you've done it, you've surprised me, you've managed to keep me intrigued. Did not see a twist and turn, but I think we got something to talk about here.

Speaker 1:

Although this episode is called the Trial, I would argue that Lance is indeed the bit player this episode, so we're going to start off with him. When last we left, he and Lorraine were being sort of bratty, in my personal opinion. They found out at dinner that Lance's trial is not going to be moved further down the coast. They were hoping for something like San Diego, but that's not going to happen. Not only is that not going to happen, the trial has not been extended. They're going to have to go ahead and do this Monday morning 8 am sharp. So they show up to court Monday morning 8 am sharp.

Speaker 1:

Somehow over the weekend it seems like Richard has decided to hire some goons. Although he's not affiliated with the cartel anymore, he's suddenly having more do-dirt people. You notice that, like he hasn't always had that, pam has been just enough for him. But on this episode he has a do-dirt guy who basically kidnaps the judge and says hey, judge, if you want to keep judging, you're going to judge Lance Cromson as guilty. The judge is like I suppose I can do that with a little bribery. Boo, richard's like I got you, don't even worry about that. This is all very weird and very annoying to Pam. Pam is like Richard, actually no to Pam. Pam is like Richard, actually no, pam's not really all that bothered by this.

Speaker 1:

So once the trial starts, once the trial starts, greg Reardon is, of course, representing Lance, but this sort of tough-as-nails lawyer woman is representing the defense, the other people, the prosecution. In a situation like this, where it's attempted murder, murder is against the law of the land. So when you go to trial, it's not Angela versus Lance, it's the state of California versus Lance Cunson for attempted murder. Now, if she wanted to sue him because he wasted her time or like he damaged her car, then it would be Angela Channing versus Lance. So that's one of the reasons this case has not gone away, even though I don't think they have much evidence. The case hasn't gone away is because he broke quote, unquote he broke the law.

Speaker 1:

So let's talk about Nell's lawyer lady. I really want to compliment her and I hope I'm able to do justice to what I'm saying. She reminds me of an American gladiator. She's really pretty but she's tough. She's not necessarily muscular or whatever, but she's in a sort of an aggressive career. She has to be this sort of shark in the courtroom. So there's certain points where she almost looks villainous. Anytime someone is being cross-examined, whether it's the sheriff or one of the other guys on the scene, it's very clear that the judge is allowing her to get a little more leeway than he is allowing Reardon to do. So it's very, very clear to anyone paying attention that the judge has already kind of made up in his mind that Lance is guilty, now unbeknownst to everybody. They don't know that he has, indeed, they can't prove that he has and they certainly don't know that Richard is behind this.

Speaker 1:

So as the show goes on, different people are called up to the stand. One of the people up there is a guy named Troy Evans. He's actually an actor. The actor's name is Troy Evans. Google him and you're going to know exactly who I'm talking about. I immediately recognized him from the movie the Frighteners. For someone who hates horror. I sure have seen a lot. That one to me technically wasn't horror. I love that movie.

Speaker 1:

Anyway, this man has played the exact same role for the last 40 years. I believe he is still with us in any movie I've ever seen him. He's never been the lead. He's always kind of like some sort of sheriff. Even in his Getty images he looks like he's somebody's sheriff. Anyway, when he's cross examined he says well, I mean, her car was wrecked, his car was wrecked, she said he did. That's why I said it. So the woman lawyer's like okay, cool, thank you so much.

Speaker 1:

When the sheriff goes up to the stand, he says, well, I mean, she said he did it, her car was wrecked, his car is wrecked. He's literally the only person in the valley who drives that car. I mean I had no reason to doubt. Reardon gets up and he goes. Now don't you think this old lady for lack of a better term, she was shook. Don't you think she was a little bit nervous after this whole car accident? He's like I mean yeah, but also she was five feet away and it was broad daylight. I'm like, damn, I mean okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. So about halfway through this show.

Speaker 1:

It is very clear to Craig Reardon that there's the manimal that there's really nothing he can do. It might be his best interest to take a plea deal. So he meets with Lady Lawyer at Richard's place at the Tuscany Downs and she is soft and she is sweet and I don't know why that stood out to me so much. I love that she gets to be aggressive and do her job well in the courtroom without being perceived as a B or perceived as too aggressive. I don't think that's fair. I think sometimes you just have jobs that require you to have tougher skin than others. It is her job to seek justice, but when the time comes, even she's like okay, yeah, I mean, I feel you. I'm kind of surprised that you're saying you'd rather take a plea deal, but I'm down. I mean I don't really see any point in dragging this out. Craig tells her he appreciates it, he's talked to Angela, he's talked to Lance at this point and of course neither one of them want him to take the plea deal, but it just looks better. He's looking at up to like four or five years. I think at this point if he takes the plea deal it might be like a year. A whole bunch of community service and he can move on with his life.

Speaker 1:

So the manimal and gladiator lawyer lady they talk to the judge and the gladiator lawyer lady says I'm cool with this plea deal because, honestly, there's no point in dragging out taxpayers dollars. There's no need to put this through the system. We could really just put this to bed now. I think it's. I think it's a fine idea. Judge is like no, no, no, no, no, this is going to trial. I want to see justice served. Nobody's walking away from this. So there is no other choice than to put both Lance and Angela on the stand. Angela is wealthy, she is old, she has a short haircut, which tells you her temper is even shorter than that. Her money is too long, her hair is too short to be caught up in this sort of riffraff. So she shows up in lavender with an attitude. They put her on the stand.

Speaker 1:

Gladiator lawyer lady goes over to Angela and she says how does she question her? She says something to the effect of if this jury looks at this evidence and they find your grandson guilty, how would you explain that? And Angela's like what are you wait? What? That's not really a question. That's like asking if 10 people buy coconut ice cream and they say it's delicious, how do you explain this? How would I know the lady's like? Well, you think your grandson, didn't you say at first that your grandson tried to kill you. She said, lady, where have have you been? Have you not been paying attention to this trial? Don't ask me no more stupid questions. The judge has to. You know, keep up the facade. You could tell he's a little bit nervous to talk to Angela, but he's like man. Please answer the question, which is, if this jury finds your grandson guilty, how would you that Wrong thing to ask an old lady who's already irritated? She says if they managed to find him guilty from this laughable evidence, then they're all a bunch of idiots, period, point blank. So they got to snatch her off. Get down, angela, you're not helping. They put Lance on the stand.

Speaker 1:

Remember last episode where I said he and Lorraine, lorenzo Llamas and whatever Lorraine's real government name is their acting on the last episode was abysmal. I'd like to double down on that. It was quite terrible, if you ask me personally, which is strange because I felt like he was getting better. I thought he was actually doing well. I don't know what was going on that week. It wasn't a good week when they were filming On this episode. He did much, much better, and I have a theory why.

Speaker 1:

Not only is Robert Foxworthy the director, there really is a real life connection between Angela and Lance IRL. She, Jane Wyman, was his godmother. I've seen a brief little interview where he talks about what an influence she was in his life. He had so much respect for her. He really loved her. That's his godmommy, his G-mommy.

Speaker 1:

In this scene in court, lance is being questioned about. You know what really happened that day? He sticks to the facts. He says I was snatched up. They put me in this like gas station. I hung out with this dude. Next thing, you know, they bring my car back. I immediately get in the car, go to a pay phone to call the cops. That's when I'm arrested.

Speaker 1:

She's like so this is the lawyer later asking them. Gladiator is saying so you never. You didn't run her off the road, you didn't do this. He's like no, she goes. You know what's funny? I mean, you're sticking to the fact. You would, wouldn't you, if you have them all memorized very rehearsed. He's like aren't you making this up? Didn't you and your grandmother come up with this spiel. The man was like hey, hey, hey, she's badgering the witness. The judge says sustained. Lance turns to her and he's like I'm really not that creative, like basically, I ain't smart enough to be writing fan fiction, so no, I didn't do that. Judge tells him don't talk. Sustained means you don't answer the question. I did not know that.

Speaker 1:

Reardon comes up and he asks him you know how do you feel about your grandmother? He's like I love her, I really adore her, and he's looking at her the whole time. Lance is looking at Angela, angela's looking at him, and the acting suddenly became Academy Award worthy. It's so real. He literally got choked up. I love her, I have so much respect for her, and you look over at Angela and she's actually fighting back tears. I love her, I have so much respect for her, and you look over at Angela and she's actually fighting back tears. I love this because I think Foxworthy was able to bring a real moment to the screen and I think that's the only way to do. It is to have Lorenzo Llamas at this stage in his career. I'm not saying he got better, I'm not saying he didn't get better, but at this stage in his career I think he needed to have a real relationship to make that scene so powerful, very, very good, but really it doesn't really seem to make. No, never mind.

Speaker 1:

The manimal is out there sweating bullets. While he's sweating bullets, aunt Terry has it in her head that it is time for that horse that he's so crazy about. It's time for that horse to make its rounds at Tuscany Downs. So she shows up with the horse and she's dressed like new money. She's in blue, I think, pam in leather pants. She's no longer wearing leather pants, she's in a red outfit.

Speaker 1:

I think the actress might be pregnant. Now, not that she looks that, and let's just. Can we normalize saying people are pregnant? Pregnant women should look pregnant at some point. I'm not making a dig of her weight or anything like that, but it's just kind of the positioning of her clothes. And she's always holding something in front of her. I know they do that a lot on TV to kind of hide it. I think she might have been pregnant. I haven't looked it up, but that's my guess. If she's not, I do apologize. She doesn't look bad, but she's holding everything right in front of her uterus.

Speaker 1:

Pam can't stand Terry, terry can't stand Pam, because they both have a little something going on with the mammal God. This guy is getting by on dimples in an accent because there really is nothing else interesting about him. He's wealthy, he's good looking, he's not very charming, he's not very smooth and he is has an unhealthy obsession with deeds. So Pam comes up to Aunt Terry and she basically just comes to talk trash, like wow, are you really putting this horse? I think it's called no Small Favors or Small Favors or Small Something. Are you really putting this horse in the race? Isn't she a little bit young for that? Terry's like nah, nah, nah, she's perfect.

Speaker 1:

Pam says well, I can't believe Riordan would let that happen. He's usually so careful, as in, I know him better than you do. Aunt Terry hears this and says that's interesting. I find him to be quite passionate. As in, he's boring with you, but he's a stallion with me, pam, not one to let it slash goes. Oh yes, well, I was talking about horse flesh. He's clearly not that good at picking out other flesh. So they have a little back and forth. Nothing really comes of it, but it's just. I guess it was funny. It was funny and they look fabulous. I have also decided something funny. It was funny and they look fabulous.

Speaker 1:

I have also decided something. Everybody on Falcon Crest is dressed to the nines at all times and they look so good. Everything they're wearing on this show I would wear today, with the exception of leather pants, pam. So I've come to the conclusion I don't like 80s clothing in the way that I remember it, like children's clothing, the neon in the way that I remember it, like children's clothing, the neon. I don't like the caricature of 80s clothing. But I am really, really fond of the fashion on Falcon Crest. It seems like if Dynasty is a super fancy, their couture, everything is custom. I feel like Falcon Crest is like Barney's I'm sure I've said this before. They're higher in. They might sure I've said this before they're higher end. They might be like Nordstrom's rack, like you could get your hands on this. But also I have pieces that you can't. They look so good. Specifically Connie Giannini We'll get to her.

Speaker 1:

I think we'll save them for last. Let's talk about Batgirl Melly, mel and Cole. Melissa is so excited that her cousin Robin is coming to town Remember I talked about that on the last episode Like okay, who's she going to hook up with? Where's she coming out of the blue. They kind of let you know within the first 10, 20 minutes of the show. So Melissa is setting up the room for Robin.

Speaker 1:

Cole comes in and they tell the audience in not so many words, she'll be here for a couple of weeks. Hope she likes it. She used to call me Missy, but I'm going to tell her to call me Melissa because I'm a grown woman now. And Melissa tells Cole you're going to be a dad, you're going to be a dad again one way or another. We have a meeting for an infertility clinic. So they go to the meeting and we see Melissa come rushing out into the hallway. Side note she looks so much like my friend Erica, my childhood friend, I swear I wanted to reach out and be like girl. She took your whole 2003 flow. She looks exactly like. She wears your hair like her and everything. But Melissa comes out into the hallway because she's upset.

Speaker 1:

Cole comes out, the doctor comes out and the doctor's like hey, I'm sorry that we had to tell you that you can't have any more babies, but there are other ways to do this. Now, why they don't have this conversation privately in the office, I'm sure I don't know, but I'm glad they have it in the hallway so God and everybody can hear about it. And the doctor says well, you have the opportunity to have a surrogate. Melissa's like what Wait? But if I have a surrogate, it will only be gold's DNA and not mine. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Speaker 1:

Maybe in the 80s, it was a little bit slow, but I thought forgive this term the test tube baby came about in the 70s. Let's say, artificial insemination. I really hate. When I hear the word test tube baby, I always think of Robin what's his name? The black dude from baby kids he called he's calling by a test tube baby. So if you had fertility like that back then, a surrogate is not. I mean, a surrogate is your DNA and your spouse's DNA, but just someone else needs to carry the baby. Is what I understood. But in this show they're making it sound like, okay, well, it'll be Cole's DNA and it'll be another woman's, but at least it'll be his DNA. So I'm thinking, well, he can just go out and bang someone, if that's the case and have another kid. Why are we paying $10,000 for him to do that? Enter, miss Robin.

Speaker 1:

That's my thought as I'm watching this, like, oh, okay, so Melissa's cousin who showed up out of the woodworks, their thickest, these their besties. They're the same age. It would be at least some of the same DNA. If their cousins, they share at least a quarter of the same DNA. This could work out in their favor. Ok, she's Melissa, warms up to the idea she doesn't bring up Robin. This is me, jet, bringing up Robin. But she warms up to the idea, like, okay, I can live with at least you having this kid being at least yours genetically. So they have to have a meeting at Melissa's house with someone else from a different agency who would. I suppose he would place a carrier to carry, place a woman in their home to carry the baby.

Speaker 1:

He is judgy wudgy, his last name is Bitter and he is a bitterish Little. Joseph comes in with the nanny and Joseph comes in there like hey, this is my house, who this New dude, who this the guy's? Like hi, I'm Mr Bitter Joseph's, like that's a weird name and immediately starts looking at the guy's briefcase. Now I don't know if the nanny was winded and she was just catching her breath or she didn't really like to get onto Joseph in front of his parents because he's letting him do whatever he wants. Melissa and Cole are like hey, nanny, we're paying you to nan, get this kid on out of here.

Speaker 1:

So Joseph leaves and Mr Bitter is like oh, so who's who's that? Oh, that's Joseph. That's my son. So he goes oh, melissa, so that's your kid, but not Cole's. Cole's like no, he's both of our kids. Oh, okay, that's weird.

Speaker 1:

Well, this, this marriage license says you've only been married two weeks. Oh well, we had him before. You had him before. So did he live here? No, um, well, cole was well. Yeah, he lived with me. He's lived with me for a long time. And Mr Bidders looks at Mellie and Mellie like, oh, but he didn't live with you. She goes yeah, he lived with me. He lived with me at first, but he didn't live with me. You know, whatever, he lived with me first and he lived with his dad. Now he lives with both of us because we live together. Mr Biddidders was like, ok, well, I guess it's the 80s. Super judgmental, he comes to the conclusion that neither Melissa nor Cole are responsible enough to raise a child. Mind you, they have a four-year-old baby genius walking around the place, but they are unstable in all that they do and, unfortunately, they're not going to be able to use that particular agency.

Speaker 1:

By the end of the episode we see Cousin Robin. Now this makes me y'all listen to this, watch it. Actually I'm watching it on Amazon Prime, season four, episode 23. Cousin shows up. Whoever I was picturing this girl looks the exact opposite. She looks nothing like I pictured. Cole opens the door and I swear they have a moment. I swear they have a moment.

Speaker 1:

Melissa comes screeching down the hallway. She's like twin. They're so happy to see each other. By the way, girl, call me Melissa. I'm grown now, I'm trying to be grown and sexy. Cousin Rob was like okay, cool, melissa.

Speaker 1:

Melissa says how long are you going to be here, cousin? Well, I quit school so I'm going to be here long enough. Don't tell my parents. She says I ain't telling nobody, I'm going to tell nobody nothing. She starts heading upstairs, cole starts coming downstairs and he looks again. So I want to make this clear. They definitely made eyes at each other at the door, but she's the one making the lingering eyes going forward. He's still looking like if he's at 15%, she's definitely like 60%. So we'll have to see what happens with cousin Robin. Is she another bad girl? We do need another bad girl on the show. We're down one, since Terry can't really make up her mind. Terry is so quick to be used. It is what it is. The other newbie on the show is new girl Cassandra. Cassandra owns the ad agency right that Richard is using.

Speaker 1:

At the top of the show there is a meeting between Richard, cassandra I'm calling him Riker, I can't remember his name on the show Duke or Daryl, whatever. Riker from Star Trek, the man of them all, and Chase. And then Cassandra has this whole plan. She's like now I'm doing one thing for Richard's brand, but I think for Falcon Crest it's got a little more history. The heritage is very rich in this valley. I think we take the snob route. We're going to go a different way. This will be the more elite upper echelon of wine. It'll be a little harder to get.

Speaker 1:

We want to go ahead and push that narrative for this version and I guess the thought process behind this is that if Francesca Wine does well and then Falcon Crest does well, it doesn't really matter because it's all kind of under one umbrella. I think Richard is mostly into this because, number one, he does want to sell wine, but also he um, he's attracted to Cassandra, so attractive in fact, that he does what any red-blooded, perfectly sane, milk-drinking toy soldier playing with grown man does, and he runs a background check on her, invites her to dinner. She's like oh, if you geek this out we might be able to make a little pleasure with this. But he's like you know, I did a little digging into your past and I couldn't really find anything. Mind you, we don't know a lot, but we know that she and Riker are actually siblings, even though they're pretending to just kind of be business partners.

Speaker 1:

Riker is making a move on Emma and it is very easy. She has fallen all over herself with him. I don't blame her, I prefer him with the beard, but I get it. He. He's super tall, he's very charming, he's good looking. So his plan is he's going to get with Emma to get closer to Angie Cassandra although she was playing coy, that's also her plan but with Richard to, you know, to get closer to him. But now that he's digging into her past a little bit, she's got to punch, she has to put the pedal to the metal and move this relationship forward quicker. That was her brother's concern. Riker's concern is that, whatever secret they're sitting on, their mother seems to be alive. They want exact revenge on Angela for something she did to their mother. But the longer they take, the more likely they are to be found out.

Speaker 1:

The other little part is that I'm wondering what that's going to be. We've already had a random sister come out of the woodworks with Francesca. We have Richard being the long lost brother that's shown up. Terry is a sister that showed up, both of Maggie's parents have shown up and now Melissa has a cousin, so I don't know who their mother could be or how she's going to fit into the story.

Speaker 1:

Last but not least, we got to talk about director boy, the aviator Adonis. At the top of the show he and Connie Giannini are walking. They're like at him. It could be an apartment building, it could, I'm assuming it's some sort of workspace, but it's just like three stories high. They're on the top rung. They're kind of walking down and it's just an opportunity for Connie to tell Chase that she read through her father's diary last night and there was so much in there about him. She feels like she learned so much about Chase and her father.

Speaker 1:

Now I thought immediately my heckles are up. I'm like okay, wait a minute, miss Connie, what are you trying to do here? I don't see a lot of lingering. She is kind of looking at Chase with a lot of admiration, but I can't tell if she wants him like that. I kind of think she does. She didn't really do anything in the episode that leads me to believe that, other than this random conversation and sort of a few lingering looks, I felt like she's trying to slide in there with Chase and terrorize state. I think he kind of likes it. I don't know what it is about the Gia Bernie men. This episode they are looking out of the side of their eye at the women folk of the valley who are not Maggie and Mellie Mel. Okay, blah, blah, blah. I'm learning so much about you and my father and I'm feeling so overwhelmed. So Maggie is busy this episode. She she does kind of meet them at the foot of the stairs. She and Connie go to have coffee with some random lady and Maggie's busy reporting on the trial.

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At one point Chase comes down to the courthouse, as they're, I guess, on a recess, and he says hey, mags, what do you think about me hiring Connie for her champagne expertise? This is going to piss off Angela, so bad. But Mags is like yeah, I think that's an awesome idea. Let's go ahead and let's pull the trigger on that. We'll invite her over to dinner and see if she wants to do it. They invite her over and she's like absolutely, I mean, I'm way more comfortable with champagne than I am wine. Let's do this, let's go ahead and jump in. She's all calling Chase. You know you're the boss. You're the boss.

Speaker 1:

Chase gets it in his mind after one of his homeboys call one of his old pilot homeboys call and says that he is in town. Chase says, okay, well, let's go out to dinner, me and my wife Maggie, we'll take you out. Well, he doesn't know that Maggie has already invited Connie over for a separate dinner at the house. So he's about to pick up the phone and call his friend and say hey, I'm so sorry, I need to reschedule. When Maggie's like, hey, why don't we hook them up? He's like like, oh my god, that's the best idea ever. So he calls his friend and he says change of plans. We're not going to go to a restaurant, we're going to cook here for you, or my newly acquired wait staff is going to cook for you here at my house. Come over to falcon crest, past the big mansion. We have a little castle on the left, it'll be a great night. Well, the guy comes and connie's already there and he's. He's perfectly nice. He's just a little too loud, a little too.

Speaker 1:

Where Chase is smooth, this man is not. He is 100% in his dad joke era, having the time of his life just talking and catching up with his old war buddy, and it's pretty clear that she's not into him. I think she's not into him because she's into Chase. I think that's pretty much it. I hope you have enjoyed this episode as much as I did. It's a little slow, but I'm I'm first and foremost shout out to Robert Foxworthy for directing this episode. They did pretty good. Lance's acting improved significantly from the last time we saw him Trying to think is there anything else?

Speaker 1:

Pam gets pissed off. At one point. I guess she feels like Richard is treating her like a wife, but not really like picking up his laundry and crap. She's trying to tell him to stop being such an idiot to Lorraine, like you're losing something important. He ain't trying to hear it. She does knock over his little toy soldier. He's becoming more and more peculiar as this season goes on. I don't know. I wonder if he's on the verge of a psychotic break or if he's about to up his villain ante. Kind of seems like it. All right, guys, I think that's all for this episode. Thank you for joining me for the Dolphins feature. I hope you enjoyed yourself. Remember you can send me a text. Check the show notes. You can always send an email to soflorepodcast at gmailcom. That's S-O-A-P-L-O-R-E-P-O-D-C-A-S-T at gmailcom. Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business and keep all of your trauma on TV.