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S4 EP27 Falcon Crest: ...And The Fall - The " Amateur Escape Plan" Episode

• Jett Shae • Episode 309

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The drama reaches fever pitch in this action-packed exploration of Falcon Crest Season 4, Episode 27, "...and the Fall." As Lance awaits escape at the shipping yard, the walls close in from all sides with Richard's $10,000 bounty driving the hunt to fevered intensity. Chase's business victory turns complicated when Connie reveals her past with loan officer Larry Michaelson, creating an intimate moment that Cole misinterprets as infidelity. Meanwhile, the mysterious Cassandra and Damon continue weaving their web around the Tuscany Valley elite, leaving Richard increasingly suspicious of their true motives and identities. The search for truth takes a devastating turn when Maggie and Greg discover that Joel—the Florida Man who might hold the key to Lance's exoneration—has died of an overdose. This revelation brings grief to Terry but visible relief to Melissa, whose involvement in Lance's framing grows more apparent with each nervous interaction. In true Falcon Crest fashion, the episode culminates in a heart-stopping sequence as Angela arranges Lance's escape to Italy. When Richard and the police close in on Lance's hideout, Lorraine makes a desperate attempt to flee via a fire escape, resulting in a terrifying fall that leaves her fate hanging in the balance and Lance abandoned at the shipping yard, unaware of the tragedy. This episode perfectly captures what made Falcon Crest exceptional—blending high-stakes business dealings, complex family dynamics, and edge-of-your-seat suspense into primetime soap perfection. Fascinating behind-the-scenes revelations about casting choices and on-set tensions add another layer to our appreciation of this golden age television classic What soap opera character would you recast, and who would play the role? Share your thoughts and join the conversation by texting us through the link in our show notes or emailing SoapLorePodcast@gmail.com.

Speaker 1:

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome and welcome back to Soap Floor, the official gathering place for newbies, novices and OG diehard fans of the golden age of crime crime. I'm your host, jett, still viewing and reviewing the soapiest, sudziest primetime storylines of 1985. We are back on the West Coast doing the absolute most. So, whether you're new to this or true to this, sit back and enjoy. Tell the kids it's time to play outside or, out of sight, tell they have no questions, suggestions or concerns for the next 25 to 35 minutes, everyone else in earshot. Be cool, be quiet, or you will be kicked out because we are watching our stories. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is Soap Lore. Hello, gorgeous, welcome back to another fun-filled edition of Soap Lore. Hope you're ready for another fantastic episode.

Speaker 1:

Today we are reviewing Falcone Cross. They have put pedal to the metal, they are moving through the storyline with great speed and I am here for it. This feels a little bit more like the traditional Falcon Crest, the one I've grown to love. But before we jump into that, I want to jump into a very relative piece of fan mail. So go ahead and pour yourself up something bubbly and bright, full disclosure. I had a mimosa at lunch with my friends. I think I'm going to chill. I'm just going to have a little water. We had us a good old time. Let's see, there we go. The mimosa was delicious because I guess it actually had champagne and orange juice or pineapple juice or whatever. That was fine. I liked that. Still working on my taste buds as far as the other things go, so I can keep something a little more grown and sexy in my bubbly selection. But that's neither here nor there. We're going to talk about something very, very fascinating. Real quick, nicole from Athens, georgia, was kind enough to let me know about something that I didn't make up, but I mean I knew there had to be one. Nicole from Athens says she loved Dallas and Knott's Landing, so so much growing up I would hang out with my mom, my granny and her neighbor, miss Elizabeth, and watch it on Fridays. We had a VCR and we would record it. Once I got older because school activities, but we would sometimes watch Dallas and Knott's Landing again over Christmas break while we were wrapping gifts. I found her show ironically last year when I was looking for an interview for that Christmas movie, adiba's Christmas, which will now be a part of my Christmas movie rotation, by the way. Ha ha, yeah, I get it, it was good, I liked it. She goes on the show. I love the show and I wanted to let you know about something you have spoken about.

Speaker 1:

Every year since I was a little kid, my family would travel down to Vidalia, Georgia, for the Onion Festival. My uh are originally from the area. She says collins, and I'm gonna mess this name up collins, and outside of I think it's oh hoopy, oh hoopy, lord. So we always had family around there and she has ps. There's also a santa claus georg. Lol, my God and I died laughing when you started calling Valene the Vidalia Onion Queen. I completely understand that reference because I grew up on the Georgia pageant circuit.

Speaker 1:

If you're ever in the area, you should visit the Vidalia Onion Festival, usually in late March or early April. Keep up the good work. Thank you, nicole. March or early April Keep up the good work. Thank you, nicole. That made my day. I was so excited. Now I know I've said this before that she's the Vidalia Onion Queen and of course you know I'm thinking of one person, but that sentiment in little towns it does not surprise me. So I went looking, just really grateful that this thing is happening. And she's right. Unfortunately we've missed it this year.

Speaker 1:

But I went through the itinerary. This isn't just like a three-day festival. It looks like they do something every weekend of April. I'm just going to read you a couple of things I saw. They start out that Friday with the blessing of the Vidalia crop, 7.30 in the morning. You want to get up and go. Then they have like a golf tournament. On that Tuesday they have movie under the stars. They have some local entertainment. Then they have the Vidalia's cooking experience with Vera Stewart. You already know she can cook. Vera hosts a show called the Vera Vera Show and she's going to cook all sorts of things with Vidalia onions, of course. They have a Vidalia onion chalk walk, carnival, whole bunch of onion rings. There's a documentary carnival rodeo, a couple times street dance firework. They're having a good old time.

Speaker 1:

But I have to say I was a little bit disappointed because I did not see the Vidalia Onion Queen pageant. It seems like a missed opportunity. I said to myself Jet, do you mind your business? Do you not mind your business? I don't know. Now that I know I mean, even though I said that what I mean too, is that any little town you could have the Cotton Bowl Queen, the Peach Queen, the Strawberry Delight Queen. There's all these little pageants all over the country, but this one man that's impressive. I want to talk to the Vidalia Onion Queen. So I went looking and I'm like, surely, surely they have something. Turns out I didn't know there was a Vidalia California. Did y'all know that Vidalia California? But there is definitely a Miss Vidalia Onion Queen pageant, held March 15th. It was a 47th annual Miss Vidalia Onion Queen pageant and I'm very pleased to hear that. That is freaking awesome. So is a town called Santa Claus. I bet they have a Mrs Santa Claus pageant. I'm going to look all that up here in a little bit. Thank you so much, nicole, for sending that in. That totally made my day. Okay, this next piece of fan mail is a little more central to what we're going to jump in today. It is some Falcon Crest tea. Thank you to one of our listeners in Oregon it says Falcon Crest behind the scenes tea.

Speaker 1:

Okay, they say that Robert Foxworth, aka Chase, was considered for the part of JR Ewing before Larry Hagman entered the picture. Was considered for the part of JR Ewing before Larry Hagman entered the picture, but he turned it down because he wanted to make the character more sympathetic and the network wanted to lean into the character's villainy. I could see that. I feel like I might've read that one time, but I've never really really thought about that. I can't imagine anybody in that role as JR, I just can't. He did it so well. Not that Robert Foxworth doesn't have the chops, because he definitely does, but I could totally understand him being a little more compassionate. I don't know what his ruthless looks like, plus, larry Hagman is ruthless, but he's still so charming that's kind of hard to pull off. He does the most scandalous things, but I'm still happy to see him.

Speaker 1:

Just excellent casting on that Excellent casting. And I love Robert, this chase. But I did think about this. I could see Robert as Blake, right, I think he would bring a lot of depth to that character. I could see that that would be very interesting. I also buy that Crystal was really into him a little bit more. I think it all worked out for the best. Yeah, if anybody could be recast, I could see being blake, not that I'm saying john forrest, I did do a great job, but I could totally see that changing. Okay, here's some more tea.

Speaker 1:

So jane wyman, aka big perm, aka angela channing, and lana aka Jacqueline that's Chase and Richard's mama, apparently IRL they couldn't stand each other. It got so bad that they had to film their scenes together separately. Finally, jane Wyman put her foot down, told the producers they got to do something one way or another or she's gonna bounce. And they wrote Turner, turn her off the show. Also, angela's half sister, francesca, who was played by that baddie I can't remember her name italian baddie, was going to be played by the ultimate italian baddie, sophia lorraine.

Speaker 1:

Can you imagine, can you even imagine? If? Okay, think about this. Most of the dramas and stuff that we watch now they don't always have like an a-lister. I can think of a couple. Um, what's that show? Now? It's got helen murin and tom hardy. What is it? Gangs or something like that. It's like a gang, a mob, I think it's called mob, and it has that other guy I almost said Pierce Brosnan. I think that might be the wrong name. Anyway, you don't always see A-listers like that in any sort of dramatic roles on television, not after they've been in movies. Kevin Costner's a little bit of an exception. You know what I'm saying. Think about this. Jane Wyman has an Oscar. I don't know if Lana Turner has one, but I know she was that girl. Sophia Loren was that girl. Do you imagine all these baddies on primetime TV in the 80s? That is so iconic, that is so cool. Yeah, richard would have been all over her too. I could totally see that. I need to find a picture of Sophia Loren in the 80s. I don't think I've seen one. Anyway, last little piece of this is back in 2013,.

Speaker 1:

A Falcon Crest revival series was considered due to the popularity of the TNT revival of Dallas. The series was going to follow the Channing-Giaberti feud between Richard Channing and Cole Giaberti. However, the series was shelved indefinitely due to the Dallas revival being canceled after its third season due to declining ratings. We got to get this back on the books. I think if any show could make it today you rewrite a little bit here, a little bit there, you could redo Falcon Crest, a little bit there, you could redo falcon crest. Let's hold on. This, says cole and richard. Richard's old as hell, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. I think that could work. I would. I'd love to see any of these revived.

Speaker 1:

I do think knots landing only, even though I'm only on season three. I do think that could be a little bit challenging. You just have to have a whole new cast, you have to have a whole new set of people and make their lives interesting enough to follow. But it also poses the question for me. I did watch desperate housewives. Is that similar? As time goes on? Is desperate housewives? Is it similar to knots landing? Even though desperate housewives was a little, it was funny, but it was definitely a little bit dark. It's kind of a dark comedy.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much, oregon. I appreciate all the little tidbits. If you guys ever have anything you think I might be interested in, please reach out. You can check the show notes if you're listening on your mobile device. There's a link that says send us a text, and you can do that. Or you can do it the old fashioned way and send me an email at SoapLorePodcast at gmailcom. That's S-O-A-P-L-O-R-E-P-O-D-C-A-S-T at gmailcom.

Speaker 1:

Speaking of the one and only Robert Foxworthy as Chase Giaverde, let's jump into season four, episode 27,. Dot, dot, dot and the fall. The last episode was called the Decline and it's dot, dot, dot and the fall. This one I'm not going to lie is very short. I think we could probably bust this one out in like 20 minutes. There's not a lot going on, but there's a lot to the story, if that makes sense. We're tying up some pieces. Falcon Crest is putting pedal to the metal. Things are coming together quite quickly, quite beautifully and quite dangerously. Pour yourself up something bubbly and bright and let's jump into season four, episode 27,. Falcon Crest, dot, dot, dot and the fall.

Speaker 1:

This whole episode is about locating somebody who does not want to be found. This is challenging for everyone who needs them to show up, but it's also entertaining for us. Well, we'll get to Lance here in a second. This is kind of a simple episode. It's got a lot of swelling, action-driven cinematic music. They're kind of turning back the tides a little bit. They're going back to the chase and the vineyards of doom music. It's big, it's bold, it's fun, it's exciting. I was shocked at how quickly this episode went by because it was so exciting. Okay, let's talk about probably the least exciting part, even though it was exciting Chase and Connie.

Speaker 1:

So when last we left, connie was sort of blindsided by this Larry Michelson guy showing up. Turns out Larry Michelson is a creep. They had an affair way back in the day. He's trying to get that old thing back. Michelson is a creep. They had an affair way back in the day. He's trying to get that old thing back. He didn't even want to have an affair, he just wants to sleep with her. It's the whole reason he made the trip to Falcon Crest so that he could see her in the flesh and talk her back into the sack with him. Connie at the top of the show is talking to Chase. Turns out Chase got the loan he needed. He was able to put up all the collateral. Looks like the Helios deal is going forward. She's celebrating with him. Oh my God, chase, this is so awesome. She gives him a big old hug, but after that she starts singing and she's like listen.

Speaker 1:

I don't know about him and Boyer, but I do know about Larry Michelson. Let me just tell you what's up. I met him when I was a kid and then a little later we started an affair. He was so charming. I was head over heels in love with this man, chase. I thought I was going to marry him. He told me he had already left his wife. When we met, he promised me all these things. He was so smart and he was so charming and cultured. Then I found out. Not only did he not leave his wife, he had no plans to leave her, he used me. I felt gross. I didn't even tell my parents about it. I just got my teens and went to Europe and learned how to make champagne.

Speaker 1:

Chase is like dang, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Is that the whole reason why he came back here? I thought that was an unusual connection to make. I mean, this man works at a bank. Chase went and asked for the loan. Doesn't seem like he's creepy in that way. He obviously didn't set up anything, but he is taking advantage of the situation. So she lets Chase know in as many words that although Larry Michaelson did not attack her, she's just uncomfortable by his presence and she gets increasingly more upset the more she talks about it. I guess she's embarrassed, she's ashamed, but she's also trying to get Chase's sympathy. Now that Maggie is super busy all the time, she's definitely working on that softer side of him. So she starts crying in his arms, she hugs him and they're holding each other in this embrace.

Speaker 1:

And remember a few episodes back I said her office isn't much of an office. It's kind of just like a common place where she hangs out and there's like coffee and stuff. It could be the break room. Now that I think about it, it doesn't matter. Cole is coming down the stairs to go into her office. When he sees his Faja and this woman in a warm embrace he can't believe it. He's mad. But he holds it in to the end of the episode.

Speaker 1:

So by episodes in Coles chase it was very reminiscent to me of season one when cole was sort of taking over that parental role for his sister. He's pointing out his parents flaws. They don't really want to hear it. This was much of the same. Cole is like I see the way connie looks at you. I see the way she's always kind of finding a reason to be around you or touch you or whatever. I don't really appreciate it. Chase tells him boy, first, don't talk to me like that, I'm your father. Second, off, you're absolutely crazy. I don't even know what you're talking about. Cole's like oh, for real. Oh, you don't know. Okay, how about? I saw you squeezing up on her the other day? How about that? Chase is like you totally misread the situation. You need to mind your own business. Cole says when it comes to my mama, who you're married to, you better believe that's my business, and if you're squeezing up on this woman, that means there's something wrong with your marriage. To my mother and that's definitely my business Walks off and continues to mind his own business.

Speaker 1:

Shout out to him for taking up for his mom. It did seem very innocent, though I will say Chase Cole does not Excuse me. Chase does not seem Well, he doesn't seem into it, but there is a scene where he does play the hero a little bit. The offices quote unquote that they're using for Falcon Crush is very clearly a very nice apartment, but they're pretending it is like this office complex. So Connie is outside cutting bread under the elements and cutting cheese and stuff. I guess she needs a taste of wine outside for some reason.

Speaker 1:

Someone comes up behind her, a man, and he covers her eyes. She thinks it's Chase. Chase. Larry's like not quite, it's me. Have you thought about sleeping with me again? Yet? She's like no, actually I haven't. And, by the way, you'll never be half the man Chase is. Larry's like okay, that's cute. Well, how about this? How about? And he pulls out the check in his pocket how about? I don't give this check to Chase unless you want to cooperate with your boy? She, of course resisted, and that's you can't do that. He already, everything's already gone through. He's already got the, the loan. So this man starts to grab her. No sooner than he does that comes the aviator adonis swooping in like a hero. Back up, michaelson. Back up or get broke down. Keep your hands off, connie. Give me my check. Michaelson passes in the check. Also, send a courier next time. I don't want to see you around these parts ever again. So much and so forth.

Speaker 1:

Right after that chase was like hey, what you got on the charcuterie board. Here she goes with just a little cheese and a little bread. You're selling wine. You give them the cheese. If you're buying wine, eat the bread, because the bread cleanses the palate, gets the bad taste out of your mouth. I don't know what she's talking about. I guess she's talking about michelson, but I thought, oh, that is very useful to know. Have a little cheese and a little wine. I guess if you decide you want to, you go to a wine tasting and you want to buy it. Eat a piece of bread, taste it again to make sure it's not bad, make sure it tastes good. I guess the cheese sort of enhances the flavor.

Speaker 1:

So meanwhile, on the other side of town this Helios deal seems to be on. Richard's on board, angela's on board, now Chase is on board. So in Cassandra's office Michelson walks in and he is heavily rewarded by Cassandra and her brother, damon, aka Riker, with a check for 22 million dollars. I don't know who's backing these kids. I don't know where they're getting this money from, but it is coming in by the boat load. I know they sold that building in New York, got a hefty payment from that, but they have enough money to pay this guy $22 million and I think he said that was like 5% of the profits. That's what Damon said. Anyway, business is good.

Speaker 1:

So a little later on at Tuscany Downs, Emma is on a little datey-poo with Damon. They end up bumping into Richard and Cassandra, who've been on a date all morning. Now Richard's heckles are immediately up. Immediately he sees a red flag and I'm thinking it's because he sees Emma. You know, emma's always kind of a pawn in somebody's scheme and this Damon kid is dating her, cassandra's dating him. When Cassandra and Richard sit down he's like dang, you and your right-hand man are all up in Falcon Crest Seems like have close little relationships with everyone. And she goes well, not everyone. I just work with Chase. I'm interested in you.

Speaker 1:

What Damon does is his own business. She's trying to play it off, but you got to remember Richard is already digging into Cassandra's past. Remember, richard is already digging into Cassandra's past. It is only a matter of time before he figures out who she is and what she really wants. So, seeing Emma, if nothing else, it raises his concern. But the thing about Richard is he'll continue to sleep with you until he gets all the evidence he needs and then he'll let it all go. So he is able to not mix business and pleasure and keep his eye on the situation just in case something pops off.

Speaker 1:

Speaking of popping off, the Florida man is the talk of the town. Melissa is nervous about him popping up and telling all her business. Maggie and the manimal really want him to pop up and tell Richard's business. So quick little recap the manimal has this hunch about Joel being the missing piece of the Lance Combson framing puzzle situation. He spends a lot of time this episode looking for Joel. Only he and Maggie know about this. Really, maggie was sort of vague at dinner when she brought it up with or, excuse me, no, chase brought it up at dinner like oh, there's more evidence, they're looking for Joel and they let it go. She's not really saying much else. So the manimal is able to go to the rehab center where Florida man is located, only to find out that he unfortunately has overdosed and died. They have his grave site. The manimal takes the pictures and he's like dang, that sucks. So the only other person he can really talk to about it is Maggie. She's the first person he tells about it, which leaves Maggie with a task of telling Terry that Joel is dead.

Speaker 1:

This is already a difficult responsibility to bear, but it's made all the more difficult by bad girl Melly, aka Melissa Agretti-Giaberti. She just keeps popping up. So let's back it up just a little bit. Bad girl Melly, mel, has been sweating bullets ever since the last episode, ever since the last dinner where Joel's name was brought up. She's been like oh crap, anybody does a little digging. They might find my check, they might find my money that I gave him. I'm trying to remember now. Does she give him money in an envelope or does she give him a check? Either way, she is having to pay off people left and right. The last thing she needs is for this man to pop up. So she's trying to intercept any conversations he may or may have with anybody. So she starts out by going to Maggie's office at the Globe.

Speaker 1:

Now, maggie is a business woman. She's quite busy in her new role but as she's going over some papers, her sister, terry's there. Terry is still redecorating this office. I will say it does look much better than it did from the last time, but it's just, it's just kind of okay.

Speaker 1:

Terry's like Maggie, you like this girl? Maggie finally looks up. She's like you know what I do, terry? I had no idea you were so talented. Do you want to decorate our house? Oh, I can't do that, I can't do that.

Speaker 1:

So while they're talking in walks, bad girl, mellie, mel, hey, maggie, wow, are you doing some redecorating? Maggie says well, I am. Yes, terry decorated it. So Melissa looks around and she's like oh, I mean. Well, anything is better than what Richard and Lance have, right? Terry's like okay, I see you. So Terry says to her yes, I get that. You would know better than anybody what sort of things they like leaving around. So Terry leaves and Maggie's like you know, melissa, I really love being in the middle of y'all's hate fest of each other. Melissa says I don't hate Terry. I know exactly where I stand with Terry. I like her quite a bit. I love that and I actually believe that sometimes you can be hateful to somebody, or it seems like it, but you're just blunt. You have an understanding. She knows who I am. I know who she is. I like her just fine. But I'm going to talk my ass when I see her. I have to do that.

Speaker 1:

Maggie's trying to rush Melissa out because she has a meeting she's supposed to go to. But Melissa's like well, he's looking for somebody. Maggie is keeping it mum about Joel. She goes oh, I don't really know. Melissa goes. Is he looking for that Joel guy? Maggie's like well, why did you ask? Why do you ask? Well, you mentioned it at dinner. I don't know if he's looking for Joel. He's probably okay. Well, I just thought you would want to come by for lunch. Maggie is quickly escorted out of the room by her male assistant so she can get down to the meeting. Also, isn't it funny that Melissa and Terry would even say anything to each other. I love it when a call girl calls a hooker a cheap date. It's the self-awareness for me, or lack of so, a little bit later on in the show, after Maggie finds out that Joel is deceased, she's at home, she's gathering her things, she's on her way to go tell Terry.

Speaker 1:

When Melissa pops up again. And Melissa's like oh hi, maggie, I came by to borrow your pasta maker, it's our two month anniversary and Cole and I want to have dinner. Can I borrow your pasta maker? First off, what self-respecting italian woman, as far as I know, in 1980, with a full, rich heritage of italian grandmamas and mothers and stuff, doesn't have a pasta maker? A rich lady? There's no way you don't have one. That's like coming to the south and not having a cast iron skillet. You have one. You may not use it. I guarantee you you live through yourself. Somebody's left you one. But maggie's like oh yeah, girl, it, it's this place, that place behind this. Look at there. Well, melissa goes.

Speaker 1:

Well, you know it's our two month anniversary and Cole and I really want to show off the china that we got from our wedding. We want you and Chase to come over. Maggie's like I'm sorry, baby, I'm just not going to be good company today. Something happened and I got to go handle it. Melissa's like well, what happened? She tells her that Joel is dead. Melissa is so relieved, but she has to pretend to be disappointed. She's like, oh, oh, no, that's horrible. Her face is saying whew, thank you Jesus. Thank goodness he's gone. That's one less thing they got to worry about. Also, girl, we're not going to celebrate every month. Y'all married. It's bad enough. They had to go to their wedding. I'm not doing this. And where is this china coming from? Is this from the first wedding, where you left, where you left her? Because the second one was out outside, like in the hills somewhere.

Speaker 1:

Anyway, Maggie finds Terry. Terry is just outside of small virtues horse stall. She and Maggie have a seat. Maggie tells her what happened. Terry is obviously upset. She's like oh my god, I wish, I wish you had known Joel before the drugs. He was such a sweet guy, he was an amazing guy, but he's just weak. Unfortunately he's weak and Maggie's like yeah, I mean it's, these things happen. Terry gets really defensive, like that doesn't mean he should die. I should know better than anyone about being weak. I hadn't realized until now that Maggie may not know that Terry was a call girl in her other life and maybe she did a few drugs. She doesn't know all that, but I feel like Maggie wouldn't care either way. Maggie tells her as much Listen, you had your past, you've overcome it. Look, maggie wouldn't care either way. Maggie tells her as much Listen, you had your past, you've overcome it. Look how strong you are. Look where you're at now. You're my sister. Hold your head up. I'm sorry this is happening to you, but don't talk down on yourself, girl.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so back off a globe, maggie, and getting their investigation bag, and they discover, when they're going through all of Joel's records and stuff, that he had a lot of money in the bank. What else they can tell is that Richard is a person who paid for his rehab. So, there being a lot of money, they don't really know where it came from, and the fact that Richard paid off his rehab thing. A lawyer who is versed in law could probably present a case for some sort of blackmail. That's the story they're going for. Also, though, there's not much evidence. So when Richard is confronted by the manimal a little bit later on, he says as much he's like if you really had anything, the police would be here, not you.

Speaker 1:

The manimal asks well, why did you pay for his rehab? Richard says I'm a philanthropist. I do nice things all the time. Maybe I did it for Terry. Maybe Terry came to me crying. Maybe you should ask Terry about her relationship with the joel, the manimal's. Like I already know my cold girl better than you. There's nothing you can tell me about her that I don't already know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1:

You right now, richard's getting increasingly more and more pissed off. He yells at him get out of my office, you can't prove anything, get out. I mean it doesn't look good. But just like richard was getting close to finding out about cassandra's past, the manimal and Maggie are getting very, very close to pointing the finger at Richard all behind Lance. He even put a reward. He put a price on Lance's head $10,000 reward for anybody who's seen this man. Richard made sure that the photo of Lance was like bad. They wanted to make him look exhausted, make him look like a criminal, basically. So let's get to Lance. Y'all already know your boy is quite restless, he's horny, he's lonely, he's getting really bored and he is this close to talking the, the cute 23 year old cousin of Chow Lee, into letting him escape.

Speaker 1:

Let me rewind just a little bit. Lorraine followed Angela last episode so she knows where Lance is. She manages to get up to the room after Angela and Charlie leave. Now, angela and Charlie, let Lance know that we're going to put you on the shipping container. You're going to go to Italy with the family. You better not embarrass me, but I'll make sure Lorraine gets on the boat with you and then you guys can be in Italy for as long as you need to, at least till we get everything straightened out.

Speaker 1:

He has that knowledge. For whatever reason, he does not share that with Lorraine when she comes up to the room. So they do what they need to do. He tells her to be strong, stand up to Angela, or else she's gonna run all over you. Lorraine's like I'm scared of her. It's like everybody's scared of her. But if you stand your ground she's gonna respect you and it'll go your way. So she's like all right, I'll do that. She leaves and the 23 year old cousin of Chow Lee comes up to the door and Lance is like man, I'm kind of bored. I could really go for some Chinese food, and the kid's like I could go for a cheeseburger. So Lance pulls money out of his wallet, like hey, let's go get some cheeseburgers. They're about to leave when big cousin has to step in once again. It is very clear Ch, where Chow Lee's family is real, real, sick and tired of Lance's shenanigans. It's time for him to go.

Speaker 1:

So over at Falcon Crest we get a peek behind Angela's thinking process. She and Chow Lee are talking in her study and she says okay, so when Lorraine comes home I'm gonna let her know that she's gonna get on the boat. I'm gonna make sure they're married, because y'all not gonna be shacking up in my house or on a boat anywhere, and y'all not going to be shacking up in my house or on a boat anywhere. And we'll figure everything out. And chow lee agrees. He's like yeah, we don't add her to the mix, this is going to be a fiasco. And angel's like no, you're right, he's not going to listen to us unless the rain is there and the last thing we need is him bursting out of that room acting a fool. So we'll just do that. She also threatened lance, saying that chow lee's cousins were going to f him up if he started acting up again. And he's like I don't want him on smoke. I already got beat up once. I don't want any smoke.

Speaker 1:

So when Lorraine comes, she does explain to Lorraine what's going to happen. Boom, boom, boom. I'm going to put you on the boat. You're going to get married because y'all aren't going to be shacking up on the boat, and then we'll come and get you when things are cleared out. So it things are cleared out, so it's all set in motion. Everything seems to be going well, until you remember that whole karate kid action sequence from last episode where lance fought three men and then the fourth cousin had to come downstairs and beat him down. Yeah, and the whole entire neighborhood saw it, and lorraine showed up, pointed to the window where lance is. I forgot to mention that part. There are so many indicators, there are so many tells about where this man is at this point is only a matter of time. Plus, the biggest kind of thorn in their side at this point is Richard, and Richard has put out a $10,000 reward for the capture or any information regarding the whereabouts of Lance Thompson. So what do you know for the capture or any information regarding the whereabouts of Lance Thompson? So what do you know? One of the guys from the neighborhood who was minding his business grocery shopping that day and saw the fight is like yo, I know who that is. He goes to Richard's office. I'm just going to say this Representation is very important and one of the most frustrating things for me is listening to.

Speaker 1:

People have to play into a stereotype so that the audience can quote, unquote, understand them. This man is speaking in a very clear, very forced Chinese accent. It should be a Chinese accent that's easy to understand. But this guy, as he's talking, you can hear the New York coming out. He's like $10,000. He's fighting for his life and I'm like you know what? We need representation Because, guess what, not everybody has an accent. Sometimes you do, sometimes you don't. If you have an accent, let's just hear the accent. Anyway, dude comes up to Richard's office and he's like yeah, I definitely saw this. Matter of fact, there was a whole kerfuffle yesterday on the street, very entertaining. I saw your boy Leather pants.

Speaker 1:

Pam is sitting behind Richard and she's trying to thwart this by saying well, how do I know you're not lying? How do you know it was him? How do you know this, that? And the third she has to do this because at the top of the show she had to report back to Richard as to not finding Lance. Only, the truth is she really didn't find them. So the truth is.

Speaker 1:

Angela drove down to the apartments to visit Lance. Lorraine followed her and then Pam followed Lorraine. So she knows where he's at, but for whatever reason she doesn't want to tell Richard, probably because she doesn't agree with the where he's at. But for whatever reason, she doesn't want to tell richard, probably because she doesn't agree with the way he's been handling this. So she tells richard when he asks. He's like you don't know where he's at. No, I don't know where lance is. Did you follow angela? She goes no, I follow the sheriff. That's not true. The sheriff never followed angela because he would have found lance right away.

Speaker 1:

And rich was like well, what about chowley? Are you following? Following Charlie? She goes yeah, charlie shops at a bunch of grocery stores I can't afford to go into Very, very expensive. That's all he does. He buys expensive groceries and takes Angela to her appointment.

Speaker 1:

So when this man comes in, he's like nah, I definitely saw this kid the other day fighting in the streets. Richard says okay, cool, would you be willing to tell the police that? And the man's like absolutely, what about that $10,000 house? And Richard says well, if what you're saying is the truth and if we find him, obviously you get the money. The man's like bet I'll go down to the police station with you.

Speaker 1:

Now Pam has to think fast. So she says oh okay, let me get my purse and I'll follow you guys. Richard was like no, no, no, I don't want you involved in this. This is going to be me and him. I want, I want to be there in person when they put this fool in handcuffs. So instead of sitting in the office on her hands twiddling her thumbs Leather Pants Pam goes to Falcon Crest. Now, right before she gets there, Angela's heart thaws out a little bit. She is putting Lorraine in route to getting on the boat. You're going to go meet Lance, you're going to get on this boat and y'all going to flee.

Speaker 1:

Charlie and Angela have decided that Lorraine needs to be with Lance as he's transferred over to the boat. Otherwise he's liable to not believe them, he's liable to act up. So Angela is saying her last little goodbye. So, lorraine, like you know, be strong. I promise I'm going to send for you guys and make sure you take care of that baby. She even lets her hug her. I can't believe it. Lets her hug her, sends her on her way.

Speaker 1:

Leather pants. Pam shows up in a red fedora and no leather today. And angela's like oh god, what do you want? Leather pants, pam. Or lpb asks for lorraine. Lorraine ain't here. Leather pants, pam. What do you want? Well, fine, since she's not here, I'll just tell you richard and the police are on their way to pick up Lance.

Speaker 1:

Now Angela's like likely story. This feels like a setup. I know what you're doing. You want me to call Lance and then trace a call or whatever, and then bum, rush him that way, not doing it. Leather pants, pam was like well, you don't have to, because they're going to the third story apartment right above this laundromat in this neighborhood where Lance is. Angela's like oh, shoot, okay, why are you doing this? So she, okay. Angela immediately just grabs the phone. She calls and tells Lance yo, you need to get out of there now. Richard and the cops are headed. That way, I'll get Lorraine to you, Don't even worry about it.

Speaker 1:

So Lance, who is dressed? I suppose he could be dressed like a longshoreman. To me he looks like somebody who is escaping kidnapping and about to go sneak onto a boat. That's what he looked like. But he's able to strut downtown or strut downstairs, get in a car and be taken to the shipping yards. Lorraine shows up in the Gotham City villain car with Charlie. Moments after she's running into the building making a scene, she gets all the way upstairs. Right about that time the cops come Also.

Speaker 1:

Either Chinese is the most effective, efficient language on earth, which I'm sure it's great, I'm sure it is or they didn't say nothing at all. So Chow Lee and Lorraine get up to Lance's room and Big Cousin is in there sitting on the bed and Lorraine's like what did you do with him? Charlie and big cousin, I swear the only thing you hear is like. And Charlie says oh, he said that Lance ran off. Like he did not say that. In one word, there's no way. You cannot tell me. There is a Chinese phrase that says the six foot three renegade, dressed like a longshore fisherman, escaped by going downstairs and hailing a cab to the shipping yard. You can't say that in huh, there's no way.

Speaker 1:

So then cute 23 year old cousin comes running up and he also. He says something like he didn't even really say anything. He's been running, so he's just kind of breathing. And Charlie goes oh, he said the police are here. No, he didn't. So Lorraine's like oh my gosh, let me start running. She starts running. Charlie really does say something in chinese eventually. Eventually, I guess he tells his nephews or his cousins to go stall, like please go do something to stall. So by the time richard gets there he sees the super villain car and he's like the cops are going. Do you think this is the right place? Richard said I would bet my life on it. He didn't know lorraine was there at this point.

Speaker 1:

This is where it gets exciting. The cops come running up the stairs. Lorraine hears them, so she starts running around the building and she decides for herself that the best route of escape is not to hide in somebody else's apartment, it's to go out on the fire escape. So the cousins come, they see the cops and they just start pointing up to the roof like oh my gosh, he ran up there. He went up there. Like they're acting like they don't know who he is. So richard and the guy run up to the roof. They don't know that lorraine has gone out the window, so the rain goes out. She's on the tear on the fire escape. One of the cops sees the open windows and he runs over. Now she is trying to very slowly climb down without incident. Luckily she's wearing leather gloves, like people did in 1985, didn't know't know that, crawling down as safely as she can. Well, the cop sticks his head out and he's like, hey, freeze. Well, richard sticks his head up and he's like, oh my God, oh my God, no, no, no, that's the rain, that's the rain.

Speaker 1:

Do y'all remember when Eminem's mom, marshall Mather the rapper, when Eminem's mom, he made that song for him? Joe Dusty, I listened to. I don't remember everything it said, but she's Marshall, I am your mother, I love you, marshall. Why are you doing this, marshall? She was so monotone, it was so fly, it was hilarious. That's exactly what Richard sounds like he's going.

Speaker 1:

Lorraine, it's Richard. Lorraine, stop please, lorraine, it's me, lorraine, it's Richard. Lorraine, stop please, lorraine, it's me, lorraine. Needless to say, it does not stop her. As a matter of fact, it kind of distracts her. Next thing, you know, her foot slips and she's up dangling from the ropes. So Richard is speeding down, he's getting frantic, he's freaking out. Oh my God, lorraine, lorraine, lorraine, please, please. Unfortunately, either the weight of him jumping down or just her lack of grip, baby Poor Lorraine falls. I don't know how many floors probably two floors Splatter, tat, tat on the pavement.

Speaker 1:

Ambulance has to come and scoop her up, put her in the ambulance. Richard is thoroughly freaked out by the end of the episode and lance is left waiting on the shores, pissed off at angela, like where is maureen? She'll be here any minute. She'll be here any minute. They don't know, but she's fallen, I don't know. She fell to her death. God, it's horrible to fall down a building regardless. I don't know. She fell kind of far, it's don't know. She may not have survived that, but they have her wrapped up and put inside the ambulance regardless. End scene. God, that's so scary, but it's such a good episode. I like that.

Speaker 1:

Everything is coming to a head. I'm most eager to find out who Cassandra and I always want to call him Drake. Was his name Damon AKA Riker? I really want to call him Drake? Was his name Damon aka Riker? I really want to find out who their mom is. Surely it's not Jacqueline. Oh God, it better not be Jacqueline. They don't do that whole incest thing over on Falcon Crest. So far they haven't, but they better not. I just thought about that. Maybe Jacqueline's in my head because of the backstory.

Speaker 1:

Also, I can't even imagine having to work that close with somebody you couldn't stand or Oregon said they didn't like each other so bad that they had to film scenes separately. That's hard, but you know what? That's what makes you an actor, that's what makes you a professional. But hey, by the time you get to be a senior citizen, you don't have time to waste. I'm not filling with that heifer. You're gonna have to figure out something.

Speaker 1:

So I'd like to pose another question for you guys. Who would you cast, who would you recast in any of the roles, on any of the soap operas? We can go all the way through Knotts Landing, dallas Dynasty or Falcon Crest, or even a popular show that you like. Who would you recast? I'm going to go first. I'd like to have seen Dan Ackroyd not Dan Ackroyd, the original Gary a little bit longer, but I don't know. I think it'd be a totally different character. It'd probably be like how Robert Foxworthy would play JR. It wouldn't be the same. I wouldn't recast Fallon per se. I would rewrite Fallon. I'm gonna have to think about this a little more.

Speaker 1:

All right, guys, that's it. That's all for this episode. Join me next time as we jump back into some vintage primetime soap opera debauchery. Don't forget to send me a text in the show notes or email me at SoapFloorPodcast at gmailcom. In the meantime, in between time, do not get in fist fights in public areas. You never know who's watching and $10,000 on your head is too good of a deal to pass up. Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business and keep all of your drama on TV. Thank you, bye.