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S4 Ep29 Falcon Crest: Confessions -The "Oh, It's Like That?" Episode

• Jett Shae • Episode 313

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"Oh, it's like that?" - the perfect phrase for this explosive episode of Falcon Crest where betrayal and revenge take center stage. Unlike other soap operas where only one villain typically wreaks havoc, everyone in Falcon Crest seems to be everyone else's enemy.

This episode delivers everything a soap opera fanatic craves - shocking confessions, physical confrontations, blackmail, and delicious comeuppance. Melissa finally admits to framing Lance but discovers her husband Cole slept with her cousin Robin, leading to one of the most spectacular catfights in primetime history. Meanwhile, Leather Pants Pam uncovers Richard's secret recordings and uses them to help free Lance from jail before executing her masterful revenge by purchasing the storage facility Falcon Crest desperately needs.

The brilliance of "Confessions" lies in how it positions multiple characters against Richard Channing heading into the finale. With Melissa, the corrupt judge, and Pam all harboring murderous intentions toward him - plus Lance now free with Angela's blessing - Richard better keep his head on a swivel. The episode perfectly captures the circular firing squad nature of Falcon Crest's relationships, where alliances shift and collapse within moments.

What makes this hour particularly satisfying is watching characters we've followed all season finally reach their breaking points. From Angela's gleeful meddling in Chase and Maggie's marriage to the tender bedside wedding between Lance and Lorraine, every scene builds tension for what promises to be an explosive season finale.

Ready to see which of Richard's enemies strikes first? Subscribe now and join our community of primetime soap enthusiasts as we prepare for the finale that might finally deliver the Falcon Crest explosion we've been waiting for!

Speaker 1:

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome or welcome back to SoFlor, the official gathering place for newbies, novices and OG diehard fans of the golden age of primetime. I'm your host, jed, viewing and reviewing the Sophia Sudsia's primetime storylines of 1984 and 85. So, whether you're new to this or true to this, sit back and enjoy. Tell the kids it's time to play outside or, out of sight, tell babe no questions, suggestions or concerns for the next 25 to 35 minutes. Everyone else in the air shout out be cool, be quiet or be kicked out, because we are watching the prelude to the finale of our story. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is SoFloor. Hello, gorgeous Welcome or welcome back to another fun-filled edition of SoFloor. I hope your day is shaping up well If you're winding down. Oh, thank you for joining me today, this episode, when I tell you I had a time.

Speaker 1:

Today I'm reviewing Falcon Crust and I know the consensus across the board. Actually, you guys are sort of all over the place. I feel like the people who listen to my show absolutely have a favorite and then they have other ones that they sort of sprinkled in For a very long time. Falcon Crust was the favorite, but I've heard so many times. Oh, it just got worse as time went on. Some people think season two is the best. Some people think season three is the best.

Speaker 1:

I have not been disappointed with season four, I think. Looking at it as someone who didn't know what it was, my expectations are only good. They have shown me time and time again that they know how to write a story and they know how to blow up a story. Go ahead and grab yourself something bubbly and bright as we jump into season four, episode 29, confessions this episode was an absolute blast. I cackled the entire way through. Man Falcon Crest does one thing better than any other soap opera, in my personal opinion. On Dynasty, on Dallas, on Knotts Landing, it feels like you only have one antagonist going at someone else's throat and maybe some other people catch strays because they're in the line of fire, but on falcon crest, everybody is everybody else's enemy. It's not just one, it's like 15. I think I may call this episode. Oh, it's like that. Oh, okay, it's like that. I see something to that effect, because that's the whole premise. That's the vibe I get watching this and it reminded me of the first time I ever felt that in my own life. It was in the third grade and perhaps I didn't have the same language that I would say today, but it was definitely like oh, it's like that. So you know, in elementary there is nothing better than a free day, a pizza party or an AV cart that comes in, or all three in one, if you can help it.

Speaker 1:

My third grade teacher, miss Lee, was very cool. She was a very strict woman but she was very fair and she would allow us to earn different sort of surprises or parties based on these little dashes she would put in the corner of her chalkboard, so they were intended to spell out a word. For instance, you see five dashes there put in the corner of her chalkboard, so they were intended to spell out a word. For instance, you see five dashes, there'd be a letter I, that's a pizza party, p-i-z-z-a, stuff like that. She bought us Gak, nickelodeon Gak from back in the day. Y'all remember that before slime was a slime. She was a lot of fun and we could earn these prizes in these parties from not just doing what you were supposed to. You're supposed to turn in your work, you're supposed to line up, supposed to listen. But say you were in the library and the librarian said oh, so-and-so was really awesome today you have a great class. She'd give us extra letters. She started this at the beginning of the year and by November we had a really good culture and a rhythm in the class. We knew how to get what we needed.

Speaker 1:

One day in early November I'll never forget, because in Texas that's where it starts to get kind of cold. It's like really cold in the morning, it's warm in the afternoon and then it's real cold at night. Coming in the classroom and Mrs Lee wasn't there, it was a couple seconds we all sat down and then this lady walks in, mrs Robinette. I had seen Mrs Robinette around. She had five or six kids, like I know. Some of them were my sister's age. She had like a kid in kindergarten and some in elementary. I would see her dropping her kids off and kind of coming in out of the school. That's not important. The point I'm making is that I'd seen her around but I've never really formed an opinion about her and I didn't have an opinion about her that morning. I didn't have an opinion about her until lunch, when I tell you, after this woman took role, she turned into the wicked witch of the Southwest.

Speaker 1:

She flipped the script. She's yelling y'all going to do extra work. I don't want to hear any riffraff, I want to see your hair. And like she just flips the hell out, I'm like, oh my God, if I knew the term, pick me back in the day. That's what I would have called her.

Speaker 1:

We just couldn't believe she had flipped out. She was trying to be a teacher, but she was taking it to the umpteenth level Instead of just following the lesson plan left to her. She was kind of going off the books. We were getting in trouble for every little thing. Somebody sneezed and somebody said bless you, we got in trouble. She kept saying two minutes, two minutes. She would snatch off two minutes of our playtime, two minutes of our reading time, two minutes of our free time Because, in her words, if you waste my time, I'm going to waste your time. She's flipping out At lunch. As a class, I mean, most of us got together like what the hell is wrong with this woman? She is tripping After lunch. We come back in. She's mad because she said it took us too long to get inside the building, took us too long to sit in our seat. No lunch tomorrow. It's like you can't take away lunch, no playground tomorrow. Oh my God, this is, this is wild.

Speaker 1:

We all prayed that she wouldn't be back the next day and the next day we were very disappointed that Tuesday morning walking in her was devastating. It was a visceral disappointment. It felt like I had a backpack weighing 50 pounds on my head and you could just feel it in the room. We were so deflated, like, oh my God, how are we going to get through another day? Well, at some point in the day, she finally notices a little dashes in the corner. I will never forget it was dash, dash, the letter E, dash the letter R, dash, dash, dash. Think about that. We already knew that was going to be ice cream. It was going to be an ice cream party. She said well, what is this over here? What is this? We all started explaining that's, that's, this is our prizes, this we're going to win this. This is how we do this.

Speaker 1:

She listens, she digests the fact that, okay, you guys can earn a party. Well, I had to tell you four times to line up, which was a lie. She picks up the eraser, she wipes away one dash and then you talk back to me. She wipes another one. She kept naming off these like nefarious infractions that did or didn't happen, or she kind of blew them out of proportion and every time she'd make up one, she'd wipe away a letter or a dash until they were all gone. The silence that went through the class. It was like, oh my God, everybody's jaw was on the ground. And that's when I felt it for the first time, like oh, oh, it's like that. Here I am thinking you're going to be a fair adult, that we're going to have a fair chance. But oh, it's like that. Okay, bet, bet. Apparently the class felt the same way, felt the same way On one of her many, many, many trips to the bathroom and the teacher's lounge to freshen up her caffeine addiction or her diet caffeine-free Coca-Cola addiction.

Speaker 1:

You remember those gold cans? I swear she was drinking like two or three an hour. It was ridiculous. So she was constantly going to the bathroom. She'd drink a diet caffeine-free Coca-Cola and then chase it with tea. Make that make sense. You want caffeine or no?

Speaker 1:

Anyway, she left and we were like, okay, we had to do something. What do we do? What do we do? Everybody moved their desk around, everybody. We start scrambling our desk moving around, making it look funny. She comes back in the room, flips out get back in your seats, flip it. So everybody puts their desk back in order, but everybody sits in the wrong desk.

Speaker 1:

It takes her a while to figure this out because she hadn't bothered to learn anybody's name, despite them being on our desk. She didn't notice. So she's reading off of the roll call list and she's like Jason read, and a girl raises her hand to read. We all start laughing, she gets pissed, but she tells us she's going to go get the principal storms out. We all, of course, sit back in our original seat quietly with their head down reading. He comes into the room. He's like everything's fine. She goes by. He looks at our desk okay, yeah, that's that's her. That's her, that's, it's fine. He leaves. She's furious. Oh so we would just keep doing things like that. We figured out that work.

Speaker 1:

It did cost us playground time the next day, so this would have been like Wednesday, but we took that time to sit in the classrooms as we couldn't go outside. To come up with other plans. It was decided, if she told us, to be quiet, nobody talked for the rest of the day. No matter what she says, just don't say anything, Don't answer her questions, don't do this. We kept doing little dumb stuff like that, like somebody put tape in her chair. She left the classroom too and she left it open. But you know what? It was all that war because she took away our ice cream party. We were going to get to go off campus. We were going to get to go to the Dairy Queen I don't even like ice cream like that but it's the principle. I could have gotten a float, I could have gotten a root beer, could have brought my own money and got something else, but she took that opportunity.

Speaker 1:

By Thursday afternoon she was so frustrated she had started crying and I hate that. I laugh, but I was eight years old. I'm going to give myself a pass. We laughed at her. She refused to come back after lunch, so we all had to pile into the classroom next door, which turned out for the best, because that teacher was not really trying to teach double the classroom. So we all just got to kind of play outside and just do whatever she was like. I'm not even going to try to teach all today, we're not even doing all that. And it felt good. It felt good to sort of enact some revenge. Mind you, it didn't ruin her life, it didn't really change a lot. She didn't substitute, as far as I can remember, for the rest of that year and that Friday we got a very cool substitute who just kind of followed the rules and was like hell, it's Friday, let's just chill. But it felt good to enact revenge. It felt good to go after the person who thought they were going to take something precious from you and things were going to be sweet. I think not, mrs Robinette.

Speaker 1:

This episode is a whole lot like that. Nobody's on this episode gaslighting an overzealous third grade substitute teacher drinking diet, caffeine-free Coca-Cola by the boatload. But there is a lot of sort of jumping ship here, okay, so at the top of the show, melissa asks Richard to meet her at this park. She needs a neutral location. As you know, she's having a real hard time. She already told the manimal that she will turn herself in. However, the more she thinks about it, the less she wants to go to jail. So she turns to the only person she can think of, richard. He's waiting for her at this park because she went and got her her dead, so she was late. He was not too keen about standing out there like a weirdo. He didn't have any kids to watch. She just looks crazy out there, very uncomfortable Melissa, what is it? She breaks it down to him Well, maggie and the manimal have figured out that Lance was framed.

Speaker 1:

They know exactly who did it. They know it was Joel. I need you, rich, we in this together. And Richard's like who is we? She's like me, you, we, you have just as much stake in this as I do. And he's like or, I have nothing at all to do with this.

Speaker 1:

The funny thing about this is that Melissa is basically telling Richard that the manimal figured it out, but she didn't tell him that. She sort of confessed to it. So he's saying well, just don't say anything. Why bring me into this? Just don't say anything. He doesn't really know anything.

Speaker 1:

Melissa says no, he knows that Lance was framed. He knows Joel was paid. He knows who did it. I mean, I couldn't even lie about it. He's bluffing. If he had any information he would have turned you on a long time ago. She's like well, I mean, you know you were involved. Who's involved? Me, not me.

Speaker 1:

So then she goes on to threaten him. She flips the script a little bit. She's like well, if you tell on me. If you cooperate, this, I'll tell him you had something to do with it too. And he's like well, maybe I'll tell them that you tried to pay me to kill Angela. Maybe you paid Joel to kill Angela. She's like you know, that's not true. It doesn't matter if it's true or not. You paid $50,000. I didn't. So I mean, what are you going to do?

Speaker 1:

She starts getting mad because Melissa has a hairpin trigger, but then she collects herself. She's like okay, being honest in work, let me use my feminine wilds. She tries to seduce him, but that's damn near impossible to do in a butter yellow skirt suit. Richard ain't really into the pastels, I suppose. Because he turns on his heels and he walks off like good luck, toots. She's furious. She's yelling, acting a teetotal fool at this playground, yelling after him. He's going to. You'll rue the day. I'm coming for you, Richard, you creep, she's going off. She basically is like oh, it's like that. Now you don't know me. Okay, bet I got something for you, rich.

Speaker 1:

Meanwhile, back at Falkengrust, the owners being Chase, angie and Richard and Leather Pants Pam, are all having a meeting. They get right to insulting each other. Angela's like I'm so glad, lorraine is all right. Richard's like yeah, how is Lance? Is he still in jail? No, that was a low blow. Angela has to quickly remind him of how trifling his mother is. She can't stand Douglas's bastard Say you know what. You must have inherited your mother's tack Trifling. Funny thing is that's Chase's mom too, but he doesn't seem to get offended. Matter of fact, he's like hey, can we get this done? I got stuff to do.

Speaker 1:

The whole purpose of this meeting is that they're going to do the whole Helios deal. They're going to have their wine in all sorts of grocery stores or wherever it's sold. They just need a bigger storage facility and they need sort of manufacturing for a bigger operation. Keep this in mind Webster Wine and Market I might be messing up the name, but just understand. This would be perfect storage Leather Pants. Pam was like oh yeah, I know that place. It just came up on the market.

Speaker 1:

Now Richard's pissed. Maybe he's a little bit pissed because in the back of his mind he already knows that this whole Lance being in jail thing is not going to stick because of the Joel revelation. So he snaps at her. You should be telling me this. Why didn't you tell me that? She's like I'm sorry, I didn't know you were going to need storage. I had no clue. He gets really pissed.

Speaker 1:

Leather Pants Pam basically says hey, you got to move on this really quickly. A place like that is not going to stay on the market for very long. He gets mad. Who signs whose check here? Who's the boss here? Matter of fact, why don't you leave? Go back to the office, go Get. He kicks Leather Pants Pam out, but she sticks around just long enough to ear hustle to see if they're going to really take the deal. Angela's like you know what Kick her out or not, she's not wrong. We really do need to hurry up and get this thing going.

Speaker 1:

So Leather Pants Pam is obedient for the time being and she does go to the office. She's able to move a little quicker because she's wearing lighter fabric. She's not a stitch of leather in sight, matter of fact. She has on a really tailored men's suit, but it's tailored to fit a woman. It is gorgeous. She goes to Richard's office and she's sitting at his desk and I can only assume that she was about to like handwrite her resignation. But something catches her eye. She opens a drawer and she happens upon a tape recorder with about 20 cassette tapes. She picks up the tape recorder, which you know probably weighed like six pounds heavy. She quickly discovers that there's a cord from the recorder to the telephone. Oh, wow, wow, richard, it's like that. Okay, it's like that. She figures out pretty quickly that he has been recording every single phone call he has, including the ones with her. She feels a way about it.

Speaker 1:

Back at Falcon Crest, the three owners do decide they're going to go ahead and go in and try to buy this Webster place. But Angela needs to be messy she's a messy auntie after all. So she goes over to the wine house to talk to Connie. Hey, connie, don't you do scouting for Chase? Connie is busy. She's doing wine stuff. No, no, no, I don't do that. Chase usually does that. Well, aren't you with him? Sometimes? Yeah, I mean sometimes, I go, but right now I'm working on wine, what you need? Angela's like oh, nothing, just tell him I stopped by. But aren't you worried? Aren't you concerned about how it looks, you and he walking around together? Somebody might get the wrong idea.

Speaker 1:

Connie at this point is like okay, what does this old lady want? So she spins around and she's like Angela, that is ridiculous. That man is very happy he loves his wifey, not telling Angela. She already tried to put the moves on him and he said no, but Angela is sneaky, she's like well, I mean, I'm sure he was, but his wife is so ambitious, you know, she's in San Francisco day and night, night and day. A man like that might get lonely. That's all I'm saying. All right, well, I got to go, connie, you'll give him my message, won't you? Connie says yes, angela, I get your message loud and clear.

Speaker 1:

This is where it gets a little fishy to me. I can't imagine that Connie would be on board doing what she does next. We'll get to that here in a second. The best part of that scene, though, is that Angela kind of looks like she's doing the temptation choreography. She sort of slides out sideways. Such a messy boots, messy auntie.

Speaker 1:

We got to get back to Lorraine. Lorraine is still in the hospital, nary a cast, but she's tired. I guess the whole episode. She seems a little bit drained. Richard is there. He's reading her the comics in the Sunday paper, I suppose.

Speaker 1:

In comes Leather Pants, pam. Now she is killing it all episode long in these tailored suits. Maggie has on one a little later on too. They're so just beautiful. So she comes in holding something. She's sort of hunched over. She brings this girl a goldfish and not just like a goldfish in a bag from the pet store. She bought the whole shebang, but she put it together and then walks into the hospital so she's sort of hunched over, trying to not slosh water around. Can you imagine how long that took her to get there? If you get in the car you drive with, come on, now you're driving with a bowl of water and a fish in it, and then she had it decked out like SpongeBob. It's got the trees, it's got the rocks, it's got the little cave, all the things. I just picture her struggling in the parking lot or having to drive like three miles an hour. Whoever is dressing her, though, though, is really loving the Michael Jackson looks. I feel like she looks like more and more like Michael Jackson as the season progresses On. Today, when she's visiting Lorraine, she's got on the white suit from Smooth Criminal.

Speaker 1:

This scene shouldn't have been funny, but it was funny to me and I'm sorry. But I'm not sorry also because it's not real. Pam is sitting at Lorraine's side. Lorraine is grateful for the goldfish and the water and all that, but she's upset. She's like I lost the baby. I know, oh, I'm sad and lanced. That's not funny. What's funny is the way leather pants pam was looking at her. I swear to you, she's fighting back, laughing. She's trying not to crack a smile because the acting is so abysmal and I'm like, oh my god, put this girl back in a coma, please. The more she talks, the worse it gets. She definitely ain't winning no awards anytime soon. I'm sure she became a better actress. I saw her in Malcolm X. She was much better than I mean. But this ain't it.

Speaker 1:

Leather pants Pam and her light and linen has big things to do. She drives down to San Francisco to talk to Maggie. Now, maggie is a busy woman, but she's also in demand. She's getting all sorts of visitors this day. So she stops by and Lorraine is like, excuse me, leather Pants Pam is looking around complimenting her on the office, which does look better. It looks like they got rid of Terry's decorations and just made it look better.

Speaker 1:

Last episode Maggie had tried to get Leather Pants Pam to turn on Richard, but she didn't have a reason to at that time. She does today. She's like hey, girl, I got something for you. She reaches in her purse, hands her a tape. You're going to really enjoy this hair tape, maggie, do with it what you will. And Maggie's like well, what is it? She tells her this is a conversation between the judge and Richard. I'm sure you'll find everything you need to acquit Lance. Do whatever you want to do with it. Maggie's like are you sure Leather pants? Pam is like absolutely, I want to make sure I burn every bridge to a crisp.

Speaker 1:

I like that she's doing what she has to do so that she can't back out of it. Let me go ahead and turn you all the way in. You ain't loyal, I ain't loyal either. Well, maggie has no choice but to call the manimal. The manimal comes. They listen to it on a little boom box. I hear the judge saying well, what do you want me to do? You want me to throw the jury? Blah, blah, blah. You hear richard saying he wants a conviction. It's the smoking gun that they've been waiting. Well, after hearing that the manimal has some roaring to do, he gotta leave. He's gotta go make copies. They'll meet again a little bit later. So as he's leaving, maggie's male secretary comes in, announces she has yet another visitor. Miss connie giannini is here to see you. She's like okay, cool, go ahead and send her in. Connie comes in and she looks like anne of green gables.

Speaker 1:

In this sunday, go to meet an easter hat from the early 1900s. Now it's either cream or peach, I can't really tell. But I will go ahead and admit that I am biased and I recognize my hypocrisy. But I'm going to go ahead and say this as I'm laughing at her hat. Something in the back of my mind is like Jet, that looks an awful lot like the millennial hat Again it does. That looks an awful lot like the millennial hat Again it does. What is a millennial hat? You know exactly what it is. If you've ever seen a picture of someone between the ages of, let's say, 30 and 45, they took a family photo and they're somehow in the grass or something in a prairie dress. I promise you they have on that wide, billed, flat hat sitting on the back of your head. She looks like Anna Green Gables and I'm sticking to it. The millennial hat didn't curve up. This one does.

Speaker 1:

Anyway, maggie is cool. She's happy to see Connie. Connie is her girl, they're friends, right. So she's like Connie, what are you doing here? Connie says she's just in San Francisco picking up a ting or two for Maggie's husband. Chase thought I'd stop by and see what a big, important lady like you works at. Oh yeah, girl, hey, be comfortable. Well, connie's like no biggie, I can't really stay. I wanted to come by and say hey. And Maggie's like yeah, you probably should get back on the road because I know how impatient my husband is. Connie says well, he's never been impatient with me. Now Maggie's not picking up what Connie's putting down just yet Seems like an innocent comment, right? Maggie says well, this is still new, you don't know him that well. Yet he has nothing to play with before 10 am with no coffee. Connie's just smiling, all sweet, well, he's been super sweet to me.

Speaker 1:

So Connie's leaving. She's only came for 30 to 45 seconds, which is really weird. But as she's leaving, maggie's holding the door. Connie turns around and she says Maggie, what would you say if I told you I was falling in love with your husband? Maggie's got that resting smile face. Some people have an RBF, she doesn't. She has a resting, pleasant face, an RPF. So she's smiling and she's paused like wait. I mean I, I guess I wouldn't be very comfortable with you guys working as closely as you do. Well, do you? Are you in love with him? Connie just gives her the mona lisa smile kind of, shrugs her shoulder, turns and she's like turning to leave and she tells maggie, don't worry, he's in love with you. She spins on her heels and, I guess, twirls to the elevator. Maggie is left like what? Me too. That whole scene. I was like wait, wait, what was that? A line in the sand. Maggie's looking the same way. She's like do I slap this winch or do I let this? What was that? Is she hitting on my man or she not hitting on my man? Is it like that? Is it like that, connie? She's perplexed, while Maggie's trying to figure out if this woman is coming for her man or not.

Speaker 1:

Melissa is still none the wiser about what went down with Cole and her cousin. Quick refresher Melissa got it in her mind at one point that her cousin could be the surrogate mother. Only they're not going to inseminate her, they're going to do it the old-fashioned way she and Cole. Melissa changes her mind after Cole flips out at dinner and leaves. She tells Robin okay, yeah, that was a stupid idea. I can't believe. I thought that Robin goes ahead and sleeps with him that night anyway, because he didn't hear the rest of the conversation. Okay, before all that can go down, mellie Mel has already been rejected by Richard.

Speaker 1:

Next best thing is Chase. Let me go get my father-in-law. He knows a lot of people in town. He'll let me know the right thing to do. She's just trying to keep herself from going to jail. Last thing she needs is a life sentence, or however long, and to be away from baby Joseph again. So she finds Chase at work and she confesses to him that she was the one who hired Joel, the Florida man, and she's like listen, I'm sorry, chase, I was a little bit pissed off at Angela when she disinherited me.

Speaker 1:

Lance said something slick to my face and I didn't appreciate it. So I asked the Florida man to sprinkle some crack on him. I wanted him to get like a charge, a drug charge, so that he wouldn't be able to get the inheritance. I didn't know this kid was going to fly off the handle, go willy nilly and try to murder people. I didn't do it. I didn't sign up for that, but I did pay. What are we gonna do? Can you help me, please? Help me please.

Speaker 1:

Chase, of course, goes full dad note on her. I can't believe you did this, melissa, that are so selfish. Why didn't you say something at the beginning of the trial? Why didn't you say something when lance was arrested? Why didn't you say something at any point before he became a fugitive on the run? All valid points, all valid points. But also she didn't want to go to jail. Lance shouldn't have said anything slick.

Speaker 1:

So Chase says okay, he's sort of on the same page as the manimal, melissa. If you come forward and you're honest, probably not going to go as hard on you as they would someone else, let's go tell Sheriff Robinson. Melissa's like okay, I was kind of going to do that anyway, chase, but I really need to talk to Cole first. I don't of going to do that anyway, chase, but I really need to talk to Cole first. I don't want him to hear it, I want to be the person to tell him. Chase tells her hurry up, you got things to do.

Speaker 1:

So back at Melissa's house. This is where things start to get interesting. Cousin Robin is a totally different person in front of Melissa, and when she's behind her back, she's not the kind of woman you want to leave around your man, even if this is supposed to be a deal. Quote unquote Cousin Robin has decided she's going to stick around and stay in town. She hadn't said nothing about being pregnant, she hadn't told Melissa nothing, but she has taken it upon herself to use Cole's credit card. Now how he did that I don't know. She said I put it on your charge card, so maybe they have an account. At a store. She went and had an airbrushed t-shirt made that says baby. You know, like when you go to the mall and they used to have those kiosks and the people would airbrush something on a shirt for you. This is a hideous, hideous shirt but it says baby and she's like like well, it's for all of us talking about, it's our pregnancy, all three of us. Cole is uncomfortable, but what can he do? Robin throws the shirt in the box just as melissa's coming into the house.

Speaker 1:

Melissa sees robin and you got to think about this. Robin is in town because she knows she's pregnant and she still wants to sleep with cole. Melissa doesn't know that. Melissa thinks she's about to go to jail the last thing she wanted her cousin there. So she's like Robin, I'm so sorry. I know. I told you you can stay, but I think you need to leave. Robin's like what, why? Melissa's like you know things have changed. Robin says you told me I could stay as long as I want. I know, girl, I know I said that, but things have changed. We really just kind of need a little privacy right now. Well, robin looks over to Cole who's sitting on a secret himself and he's like we can give it a few more days. Melissa's like okay, cool. Once Robin leaves the room, cole and Melissa say at the same time I need to tell you something. They both kind of laugh it off and agree to have dinner that night.

Speaker 1:

Question how do you think this is going to go over? I sort of thought Robin would expose Cole if he didn't cooperate and sleep with her. That's kind of how I pictured it going down, but it was better than I thought it would go. But also I was just like really. So Melissa and Cole go to this fancy restaurant. She's decked out, she's got that toddlers and tiara pageant hair, her and Terry.

Speaker 1:

This episode. I don't know what the heck the stylist was thinking, but I guess she tells Cole off camera what she did, tells him all about Joel. He goes full dad mode on her. Melissa, that is the most selfish, stupid, immoral thing I've ever heard. Why did you do that? I can't believe you did that. She's like I know. I know, cole, I feel awful. I didn't mean for this to go this way. I just needed Florida man to sprinkle a little crack on Lance. That's all I asked for and he went and did all this other stuff and I feel really bad. I feel awful. Please, please, don't leave me, cole. Please don't leave me this mofo. He says well, I can't leave you because we're going to have a baby. Can you believe he felt like that? Okay, okay, Devil's advocate here. That is a perfect time to slip that in, because she already did something too.

Speaker 1:

So it's like two wrongs don't make a right. But it definitely keeps you from being the person who's the most wrong at this point. You know what I mean. Who's more wrong? You slept with my cousin. You sent an innocent man to jail Melissa.

Speaker 1:

Let's go back to Melissa. She's sitting there. She's like wait, who's having a baby? She ain't pregnant, cole. You definitely ain't pregnant. Who's having a baby? We are Robin's pregnant. How you know how? No, I don't know how. She didn't say that. That's, this is just the finish. He's like it was.

Speaker 1:

That night I slept in the wine house. I'm not proud of any of this. Here's the thing I respect Mel's hairpin trigger because although she's pissed although she could easily dash him in the face with a glass of wine, she doesn't. She immediately stands up and like we deserve each other but she's on a mission, they leave and she manages to stay super pissed off the entire trip home Cause she knows Robin. On that same night that he slept in the wine house knew that she didn't want that to go down, she knew it. So now she knows that Robin is her aunt. So now she's like oh, it's like that, it's like that Robin. Okay, bet, when I tell you this is the most delightful, one of the most delightful scenes I've ever seen on this show. I love it, melly.

Speaker 1:

Mel comes bursting into her house, picture toddlers and tiara hair and a cocktail dress. She comes into the house, bursts into the living room. Robin has the audacity to be asleep on Melissa's fresh couch in a Laura Ingalls Wilder gown. Melissa ain't having that. She swings her obligatory soap opera clutch round and she hits Robin right in the face with it. Wake up, baby. Just put whatever word you wanted to. What would you say if you found out your cousin seduced your husband or slept with him behind your back and then has a nerd to be pregnant. Talking about this, our baby, all three of us. Melissa ain't having it. She starts wailing on her I can't believe you did this. I want you out of my house swinging on us with robin don't know what. Oh, my god, let's calm down, let's go. No, we had a deal. We had a deal. We ain't got no deal.

Speaker 1:

She finally stops long enough for Robin to say but you paid me $50,000. I'm like God. Melissa's money is long. How many $50 increments is she doling out this season? My God, that was the wrong thing to say to this woman. That was the absolute wrong thing to say to Melissa, because she revs back and sucker punches Robin in the face. Robin goes flying over the back of a high back chair, blouse splatter, tat, tat, all on the carpet. Melissa, don't give a damn. You're not supposed to kick anybody while they're down. She ain't trying to hear that. She leaps on top of this woman and continues to beat her down. It is Jerry Springer, all over again on top of this woman and continues to beat her down. It is Jerry Springer, all over again.

Speaker 1:

Cole comes to the door. Melissa, now he, in my opinion he took a little long. He let her get in a few more punches than was necessary or not. I'm not one to judge your outbursts. That's a perfectly reasonable crash out of you. I was mean, but you know the woman's pregnant. I guess Melissa was like you, ain't pregnant in your face. She's punching her all in her face.

Speaker 1:

So to my surprise, cole runs over and he picks up robin, not because he's favoring her, but he knows she's in a delicate situation. So robin's really playing up. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. That's the woe is me. What was me? Melissa, don't give a damn. I wish all you gotta watch it. She didn didn't even let Robin like get her bearing, she didn't even let her turn over before she leaped on her and start punching her. But Melissa starts crying and of course Cole goes over to her because that's what it is, and she's like I can't believe you did this to me, Cousin.

Speaker 1:

Robin is still saying Melissa, we had a deal, we had a deal. Cole's like yeah, this was your idea, you were the one who just said this. Melissa said no, I changed my mind. And he goes, you changing your mind, don't change this. We have to ride this through. She's here, this is the three of our baby. We gotta just we gotta figure this out. I mean, it's easy to say it's not his fault, it's really not. However, he's a little too self-righteous for me, for me personally, because you, you didn't actually tell me that you slept with her. I had to figure it out when she came back. Plus, they don't really know if that's Cole's baby. We don't even really know if she's pregnant. That's neither here nor there because Melissa has to turn herself in.

Speaker 1:

So Sheriff Robin comes over where Chase and Maggie live a little castle. She just starts spilling her guts and he's like hey, hey, hey, don't say that you don't have a lawyer present. Stop talking, stop talking, stop talking. Sheriff's trying to be on her side. She ain't really having it. Cole is pissed and it's pretty clear in this scene why Melissa picked Chase instead of Cole, because he's got a temper just like hers.

Speaker 1:

Chase, cole and Melissa go down to the police station. We don't really see that on camera. Apparently she's booked. She had an attitude down there and then she's released. But before she left she was like Maggie. I'm so, so sorry. I hope you don't hate me. Maggie's not even tripping. I think Maggie is back on her mommy juice or her Xanac or whatever. She doesn't seem to be bothered. But she looks great. I love the tailored jackets this episode I'll stop talking about it. But man it looks, it's so good. I can't believe I'm complimenting these 80s clothes as much as I am. Compliment goes a long way. You know what I'm saying, especially in a relationship.

Speaker 1:

Chase comes back from dropping Melissa off and he tells Maggie how it went down. Now he's got his shirt unbuttoned all the way below his what is it? Clavicle. He's got his shirt unbuttoned damn near to his belly button, chest hair on fleek. He's wearing a vest and, you know, after he's up to Maggie he's trying to get a little something going Like you know what's up? Maggie? Miss you boo.

Speaker 1:

But she's busy, she really is busy, and she's like I'm so sorry, I can't really do this. I got to go to work. And he's like okay, well, fine, fine, okay, cool, it's like that. She's like no, it's not like that. Listen, when I get home from work I'll cook you a delicious, scrumptious meal. He's pissed, he's's like I don't want no cook and he want that cookie. She can't give it to him. He says maggie, I'm racking tonight, which I can only presume means stacking wine bottles or preparing them for something. That's what it sounds like to me.

Speaker 1:

Maggie here is that she's like oh, you working tonight, that's cute. Is honey gonna be working with you? He's like I don't know, maybe. Then she tells him. She's like well, do you know that Anne of Green Gables came to my office today and basically told me she was in love with you? And he's all laughing, please. He scoffs, knowing damn well that she tried to. She kissed him last week. He's like oh yeah, no, whatever, chase has his mind on his money, his money on his mind. She is the finest champagne maker in all of Falcon Crest and the last thing he's going to do is blow that relationship.

Speaker 1:

Chase will not be confessing anything this episode. He just looks really annoyed. Like okay, fine, cool. Maggie says I love you. He picks up her bag and stuff, hands it to her. Love you too. Bye, fine, bye, maggie. You can squeeze one in. It's all good. You know who did squeeze one in? Pardon, my French, Richard and Cassandra.

Speaker 1:

So there's a scene where they are in bed post-coitus talking about nothing and everything. Richard finally confesses I'm only doing all this so I can destroy my brother and Angela and take over Falcon Crest. What's your deep, dark secret? And Cassandra's like what secret? Oh my gosh, I have gotten ahead of myself. In my haste in me reliving my third great nightmare, I forgot to tell you guys about Emma, this episode. So Emma and Riker have a very brief scene where they're at a restaurant. Riker excuse me, damon says to Emma I'm really glad you were able to get out today. She goes yeah, this is at the beginning of the episode. So this is like as the meeting was happening between Chase, angela and Leather Pants, pam and Richard.

Speaker 1:

Emma tells Damon that she was basically kicked out of the house because she likes to ear hustle and the last thing her mother needs is for her to catch wind of what's really going down. But she tells Damon anyway what she heard. She's like I don't know. Something big is about to happen. They're shifting things at Falcon Crest. Everybody's very nervous, but I'd be the ear hustler so I had to leave.

Speaker 1:

The waiter comes by and Emma is old fashioned. She says Damon, why don't you order for me? You pick out dinner, I'll pick out dessert. So he picks out dinner. He picks out a fine bottle of wine and he says what's for dessert? She reaches in her purse, slides over a Harry Potter key and says me. He's like word, yeah, me, riker Damon. I'm staying in a hotel tonight, I'd sure like some company in said hotel.

Speaker 1:

He's looking into her eyes and he's like ah God, you're being so vulnerable and so sweet. He's like damn, I'm catching feelings, but I can't really do it. If I do that, I'm crossing the line. Mind you, he went off on his sister last week. Him and his sister were talking to each other about how they're both falling in love and they are, so he can't very well take him to bed. He's like listen, I can't, I just can't do it. Emma is a little embarrassed. She's like oh, I'm so sorry. Was I too forward? Is that? Was it me? He's like listen, let me tell you something, little girl. Let me tell you something right now. Under any other circumstances, I would drag you out of here, take you to the SS Enterprise and we would have light years worth of fun. However, a brother can't do that. Right now. I have something on my mind. She's like it's cool, I hear what you're not saying and one day, when you're ready to tell me, you can tell me, but not Emma trying to set up a little appointment. Okay, let's put the pedal to the metal, let's get to it. Oh, I love this.

Speaker 1:

So, maggie and the manimal, they have the tape incriminating the judge, thanks to Leather Pants, pam. So what do they do? They are costumed at work. Now, why a judge is being picked up from work in a limousine, I'm sure I don't know. Last time I saw his car it was a Mercedes, but today he has a driver. I guess that's that Richard money. I didn't think about that. Perhaps this is his new coin, which only further incriminates him.

Speaker 1:

So Maggie and the manimal get inside the limousine, trapping him in the middle, and they say you should let Lance out of jail, he's innocent. The judge scoffs Likely story, wouldn't you like it? The manimal points out that Melissa already went and confessed. She's like. So what are you holding on to? The judge says nah, nah, nah, nah. He might not have tried to kill his grandma, but he did take off running. He is on the run. He did a whole lot of other stuff.

Speaker 1:

I tend to believe the manimal. If you weren't guilty of the original crime, are you incriminated? Are you guilty of the things that followed after that, probably in real life, but not on a soap opera. So Maggie's like, okay, dang Manimal, he's not listening. The Manimal's like yeah, no, no, no. So Maggie's like oh, what do we have here? Let me dig in my clutch, my obligatory soap opera clutch. She pulls out the tape recorder. She's like bam, you want to hear this song? Push play. All you hear is a judge incriminating himself. Yeah, let's buy off the jewelry. Yeah, let's send them to jail. Blah, blah, blah. It's terrible.

Speaker 1:

Maggie and the manimal Eminem tell the judge you're going to tuck your whole career in. There's no more judging for you, baby. And he's like you can't do this to me. This will never stand up in the court of law. They're like yeah, it might. I mean it might. I could take it to the globe, I could post your business all over the world. If you really want it like that, I can do that. I have it like that. The judge is like it's like that. Maggie says it's like that. So he, in the span of about 45 seconds, loses his whole career. A man like that is not going to take that lying down, matter of fact. He's pissed. He's super, super pissed. Maggie and them have to get out.

Speaker 1:

He says garçon, drive me to Richard's place. Garçon, or whoever the driver is, drives this man to Richard's radio station. Now Richard's in there talking. Richard's talking on the phone. This man pulls a Dexter the judge. He just kicks the door down, poof, busts off in there. Richard, you bloodthirsty son of a bitch. Richard tries to maintain some control. I didn't hear you knock. Where's my secretary? Oh, your secretary.

Speaker 1:

The judge is like oh, okay, guess what, guess where I was, guess what I've been doing Letting your little friend out of jail. You know, lance Compton is free now, right? Do you know? I was run up on and I had to tuck my whole career away because of you. Why do you have such a big mouth? Why are you running your mouth, richard? Richard's like what the hell are you talking about? He starts digging his ear. I don't think I heard you right. What are you saying?

Speaker 1:

The judge is like the manimal and Maggie played a tape of you and I chit-chatter, chatter, chittering, incriminating evidence, saying all sorts of things. Now, I ain't got no job. Richard's like dang, that sucks to be you, but I ain't got nobody else. I ain't got nobody. No tape. The judge is like oh, you didn't. No tape me ass. Where's the tape? Where is it? He starts flipping stuff over. He's getting increasingly angry as time goes on. So he leaps over the desk, homer Simpson styles, and starts choking out Richard. So Richard was like. Luckily he's super tall and apparently he's pretty flexible, because he reaches over his head behind his back and he pushes the little call button on his phone, which is very impressive and I don't know if cops live there, if that's the cop button. But two police officers come bursting in the door and when I tell you it takes both of them to pull him off of Richard. He is, he's acting like a total bull. He's being drug out and Homeboy is kicking and screaming and threatening Richard's life.

Speaker 1:

And in the midst of all the kerfuffle in walks, leather Pants, pam and Light Linen Leather Pants. Pam has a delightfully beautiful light blue jacket on and she's got that smile on her face, the same smile she had when Lorraine was with her. She was losing the baby in Lance. It's not funny, oh my God. There's a smug satisfaction on her face, like mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yep. Richard has now put two and two together. He knows exactly how that tape landed in Maggie Neal's lap.

Speaker 1:

How long have you worked with me, pam, a couple years and we had a good relationship, right? She's like what do you want to ask me? Ask me the question that is on your mind, richard, please, please, ask me the question. I was like, all right, he got the nerve to be mad. He says I can't believe I couldn't trust you. I thought I could trust you after this long. She's like oh, you did. You thought you could trust me so much that you recorded my phone calls too. He's like nevermind that, forget that.

Speaker 1:

Lance is walking around free. She's like he should be walking around free because he was innocent. Remember, you were the one who orchestrated this whole thing. I just can't believe you, pam. I can't believe you did this. He's going to go see Lorraine now. Good, that's where you belong. That's why I did it Honestly. I did it because I went and saw Lorraine. She terribly acted, but pulled on my heartstrings. I did what I had to do. He's like I just can't believe you. She's like you know what? You think you can't trust me. I'm going to give you a reason not to trust me. I did what I did, oh well, he's like oh, it's like that. It's like that, richard.

Speaker 1:

Real quick, lorenzo Lamas, as Lance is adorable this episode. He's in it very briefly. Angela and the manimal show up to tell him he's free, you getting out of jail. He looks, he's so adorable, he's super cute this episode. So he skips to the loo. You know what the first thing he does? The first thing he does is run to the hospital to Lorraine's side and for the first time in my lifetime, I ain't never seen this on TV. I'm sure it's happened before, but he and Lorraine have a shotgun wedding right there in the hospital. They have a guy come in and he's reading him. You know, do you take her, do you take him? Nah, nah, nah, nah.

Speaker 1:

She's sitting up in bed, nary a piece of gauze or anything on her head, got her hair did a little bit, a new gown, and there's two witnesses. Do you know who the two witnesses are? Nurse, no name, some dude, and then nurse 12 hours. Yes, that nurse, the same nurse who turned Lance in. She not only is at the wedding as a witness, she got the nerve to be crying, she has the nerve to cry at their wedding after she sold them up the river. She didn't even take the bail money, she just did it because she was tired and pissed off. Maybe she had her coffee, maybe she had a nap. She felt better afterwards.

Speaker 1:

So anyway, they're married bedside and, unfortunately, richard comes. He's in the hallway. You can see him in the background. He has a Snoopy doll, because that's what he was reading the comics from. He knows that they're married and he's disgusted, he's pissed off. He needs to go pick on somebody. Who is that? Who is the doormat of this franchise? Good old aunt terry. He goes by the horse stables and I don't know why. I guess they just needed her in this episode. She's in her toddler and tiara hair too. She's in the horse stables enjoying small virtue.

Speaker 1:

Richard comes up. You know, I still feel a way you were supposed to feed me information about the manimal. She says Richard, you can't possibly be serious. You know, there was absolutely nothing to tell. Plus, terry blew up her own spot. So, like Richard has, there's nothing hanging over her head. He's like. That's not the point. The point is you were supposed to tell me stuff. She's like and okay, it is what it is. What am I supposed to do now? What do you want? Oh, I don't know. He just kind of tells her watch your back. In other words, just watch your back, keep your head on a swivel. Terry, I'm coming for you. This is really vague threat, smirks and walk off. So now she's all uncomfortable. You can tell she's like well, what the hell? What else does he know about me? Oh my gosh, I just thought about this. He's probably gonna tell maggie that she used to be a call girl but didn't. Did she already tell her that? I can't remember. I don't think she said it explicitly, she just sort of hinted at having a shaky background. That matters not, because we're getting to the ultimate gotcha, gotcha.

Speaker 1:

So remember at the top of the show at the beginning of this episode, that whole Webster and whatever that storage facility. Apparently they decided they were going to go ahead and buy it. This time Richard walks in and he is not in a good mood. But Angela is there and she's super happy because, number one, her grandson's out of jail. Number two, lorraine is married to him. And number three, she knows that's going to piss off Richard. This is all the more sweet because Angela has not forgot that little dig that Richard had at the last meeting about Lance. Oh, lance is in jail, he's out of jail, he ain't on bail. He California dreaming with your baby girl. Now Richard immediately says that was a real cute little snot. You pulled there and getting that marriage license for Lance and Lorraine. And she's like, oh you know, it's the least I could do. You're lucky Lance made your little girl an honest woman. You're lucky Lance made your little girl an honest woman.

Speaker 1:

Well, this little old lady secretary comes in right about there before they could, you know, dig on each other anymore. And the little old lady's like can I get you guys anything? I'm assuming she meant like coffee or tea or something, or an ice cold, caffeine free diet Coke in a gold can? Angeline trying to hear that? She's like, yeah, you can get me your nincompoop of a boss. Tell me to get out of here. I got stuff to do. Well, ain't no nincompoop on the premises. No leather either, but light linen. Pam shows up bold as the day is long. She owns a Webster and Wine Storage lock, stock and barrel. She was not joking when she said she came to burn bridges. She is burning them to a crisp and now she's looking at them like you hoes are going to pay me $50 million if you want this here.

Speaker 1:

Facility Chase. I don't know why they threw this line and he's like oh, so you make a $10 million profit? Obviously, why do you sell things otherwise? Do you sell things to lose money? Obviously, she needs some money. Rich was like I can't believe you did this. It's like that, pam. She's like it's like that, rich. Matter of fact, I should be thanking you. I learned a lot working with you. I saved a little money. I bided my time. Next thing, you know, when the opportunity hit, after you kicked me out of that other meeting, I said to myself I said so, go on and buy this, and then you're going to make him buy you back. So I did just that.

Speaker 1:

Richard is salty, but there's little to nothing he can do. The clock is ticking. They need this Helios deal and they need a storage facility, like yesterday. So they have no choice but to pony up the money. Richard is just looking at her all out the side of his eye. She basically tells him Richard, knock if you buck. He's just staring at her like, oh, I hate this wench. So we're going to just like okay, cool, I'll go ahead and get you a check for the money first thing in the morning.

Speaker 1:

Pam, she's like oh, can you make it tonight? I got a plane. You know what I'm saying I think I used to do. I love it. Angela's looking her up and down and she's like dang, I hate to tell you cause you know I don't like you like that, I can't stand you at all. But, dang, you make me proud. I couldn't have done this better myself. I have never liked you, little girl, but I respect a woman about her money, money. I'm proud of you for getting that bag. Well played, pleather, pam.

Speaker 1:

Richard is big mad as everybody else leaves. He thinks she's gloating, or at least he wants her to gloat so that he can do this. Next thing he goes oh, you must be really proud of yourself. She's like no, not really. I'm actually kind of sad at the way this all turned out. This was never how I saw us going, richard, I hate that. It had to be like that. But no hard feelings, right, it's just business. And he's like yeah, okay, okay, it's like it's business, cool, cool, cool. She's like well, if you're ever in england, hit a girl up, unless it's the summer, because I'll be at french riviera in the winter, I'll be in tahiti, so hit me up in the fall or spring.

Speaker 1:

And Richard was like well, how are you going to do all that when you're tied up in Interpol? She's like I beg your pardon. He's like well, I mean Pam, you have all those connections to the cartel. She's like Richard, wait, I know you're not. Saying, I know you're not that dumb. He says, oh, but I am.

Speaker 1:

Richard had gone to the feds as soon as Pam left his office because he was bitter, because he's a little girl sometimes he has turned over a folder, a file of all the little dirt she did for him, omitting himself. Obviously because the feds are still looking for ties to the cartel. I had all but forgotten about the cartel after they buried that guy alive in the cave. No, they're still looking for someone to blame and apparently the hammer's about to come down on Pam's head. She looks Richard right in his eyes like you better be lying. I know you're not that dumb. And he's like I don't know what to tell you. Enjoy your freedom while you got it. She's like it's like that Richard, it's like that Pam. She starts yelling at him I'll kill you. I'll kill you dead, I'll blow you off the face of this earth. Which made me really excited, because that means we're probably going to get a Falcon Crest explosion. I miss the pyrotechnics. I think we need a little bit this episode and I hope it comes at the finale end scene.

Speaker 1:

I cackled so much this episode. I loved it. This is the first time we've had a cat fight on Falcon Crest. The guys have punched each other a couple of times. I remember Chase hit Lance in the stomach with a giant wrench, but we never had a cat fight. We had two fights this episode and I've been thinking if you are a Falcon fiend, you already know this.

Speaker 1:

At the end of season two, jacqueline stepped in front of the bullet and took it for Richard. She ended up dying. Thank you so much. Oh my gosh, I got some more Falcon Crest tea. Thank you, oregon. I totally forgot. I'll say it on the next episode, but I thought that was really funny that Jacqueline actually died because her Jane Wyman didn't get along. But anyway, bullet was meant for Richard. He didn't die. Then, the end of season three, the plane goes down because somebody was trying to kill Richard. He didn't die that time.

Speaker 1:

Richard is the common denominator. At every finale he's got the whole world coming for him and on this episode he pissed off three people. He got Melissa super pissed off at the top. He's got the judge super pissed off towards the middle and leather pants, pam at the very end. Plus, lance is out of jail now. I find it very difficult to believe that he and his grandmother don't click up a scheme to destroy him. Richard, better keep his head on a swivel.

Speaker 1:

I cannot wait to see what happens on the finale. All right guys, join me next time as we watch all four of the season closers Falcon Crest, dynasty, dallas, knott's Landing. I don't know which one I'm looking forward to the most. I kind of think Dallas. I need to see what's going on there with Sue Ellen. I feel like I haven't seen them in a long time. I am fiending for me some Dallas. I'm just really interested to see what happens on Knot's Landing, even if this wasn't the finale. I just need to see what this aftermath is. I cannot wait. Oh my God, I can't wait to talk about it. Dynasty should be fun, fully expecting to have a good time, and I'm expecting explosives on Falcon Crest.

Speaker 1:

If you're listening to this on your mobile device, you can send me a text. Let me know who you are rooting for. Let me know what you've thought of the season thus far. Check the show notes for the link that says send us a text. Or you can reach out the old-fashioned way and email me at SoapLorePodcast at gmailcom. That's S-O-A-P-L-O-R-E-P-O-D-C-A-S-T at gmailcom. In the meantime, in between time, if someone tells you oh, it's like that, keep your head on a swivel. You never know if a third grader is going to ruin your week or if a judge is going to come leaping over a desk and choke you out like Bart Simpson. Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business and keep all of your drama on TV. Thank you, bye.