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S4 EP23 Dallas: Ewing Gate- The " Pool of Lies and Alibis " Episode

• Jett Shae • Episode 314

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Speaker 1:

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome or welcome back to SoFloor, the official gathering place for newbies, novices and OG diehard fans of the golden age of primetime. I'm your host, jett, still viewing and reviewing the season finale of Season 4, dallas. So, whether you're new to this or true to this, sit back and enjoy. Tell the kids it's time to play outside or, out of sight, tell they no questions, suggestions or concerns for the next 25 to 45 minutes. Everyone else in earshot, cool, quiet or kicked out are your only options, because we are watching the finale. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is Soap Door. Hello, gorgeous, Hello, gorgeous. Welcome and welcome back to another fun filled edition of so Floor. I hope your day is shaping up well. Mine is fantastic because all this week I finally get to watch the finale of season 4 for Dynasty Dallas and Falcon Crest and the season finale of season three, knot's Landing.

Speaker 1:

Something occurred to me the last time I recorded is. This is new to me. It's probably not new to most of you I'm actually like the like the uh premieres are happening real time, but it's new to me. I hope it feels new to you. That is my hope, that is my wish If you ever enjoy these shows. I hope you are re-watching them and it feels new or at least it still holds up.

Speaker 1:

Well, I watched Honey. I Blew Up the Kid. I used to love that movie so much you know what it held up. That's not always the case. I used to love that movie so much, you know what it held up. That's not always the case. Sometimes I look back at things and think what the hell was I thinking? Case in point, the man in the Iron Mask. We're not going to get into that all over again, but you couldn't have told me circa 2003 that Leonardo DiCaprio wasn't robbed for an Oscar. I watched that again and I'd say who is this? What is this? The weave was bad, the acting was. I let his portrayal in Gilbert Grape sort of blind me to anything else he did for a little bit, but it wasn't that good. That's neither here nor there y'all.

Speaker 1:

We are jumping back into the finale and for this special occasion I went on out to my local grocer and I found a little bottle of something called toast. It's T-O-S-T. It's got the two little dots over the O. Pardon my ignorance. I'm not sure if that means it's Swedish, etc. I'm not sure what country of origin, but I do know it tastes delightful. I got the regular degular one. I'm going to go back and get the sangria tomorrow.

Speaker 1:

This is so good. This is my something bubbly, since I watch it during the day. Most of the time it's non-alcoholic. It is very, very comparable to champagne, though I promise you it is crisp, it is flavorful. I think it's got ginger, white tea, cranberry and something else. I don't know how they did it, but they did it well. It is absolutely delightful. It's less than eight bucks. What do you have to lose? All right, we're going to see what JR and Sue Ellen and everyone else has to lose on this episode.

Speaker 1:

Season four, episode 23, dallas Ewingate. Okay, I've just finished Full disclosure. There was a point in the middle of the show where I needed to figure out who this actor was. I see this guy and everything. I could be underwater and I would recognize his voice and I really needed to figure out who he was. So I go to the IMBD of this specific episode.

Speaker 1:

Season four, episode 23 of the original Dallas. You have to put that, and I saw almost right away just one line. It says this is the first episode filmed after Jim Davis's death. This makes a lot of sense going forward in this episode. He hasn't really been present on some of them and I couldn't tell. I mean, we know what happened. By this point I knew what was going to happen. But here's the thing about TV shows, especially popular ones, their season, especially if you have 20 plus episodes. You know that's half of the year. I don't know how quickly they record these. Part of me feels like they might, you know, record five or six at a time and take little breaks in between. But this, according to IMBD or wherever, says that this is the first episode after his death.

Speaker 1:

When last we left, cliff was on JR's tail. He picked up his scent and, through a series of sort of strategically placed encounters, cliff Barnes figures out that JR probably had a whole lot to do with this counter-revolution in this vaguely Asian country. I say that because they never really named the country, which seems to be par for the course on all the soap operas. It's just sort of a vague place. Well, this episode is no different. It picks up where it left off. Cliff had brought this information that he got from his homeboy, who was planted by the West Star people. He brings it to the Senate committee that Bobby is on, and at first they're like no, this don't matter, there's nothing here, we're gonna let it pass, we're just gonna forget about it. Well, cliff was not having that, so he went to the media, he started singing like a canary, he dropped all these clues. So now the first thing we see on this episode is that it has blown up. The ish has hit the fan. It is a front page story on the Dallas Morning News or Dallas Star, whatever they call it on this one.

Speaker 1:

Before we get too deep into that, we need to get rid of the bit players first. I hate to say it. This whole season Pam has been a bit player player. So has Lucy. I had to look her up too, because this is my thing. I, if you've been listening to me for any amount of time at least two, three years you know that I was fully convinced before I started watching Knott's Landing that it was going to be about Lucy. The only thing I knew about it is that my auntie loved that show to death and that it was a spinoff. I think I figured that out I can't remember how Pretty early on I figured out that Knott's Landing was a spinoff of Dallas. So when I heard that and after I watched season one and probably like halfway through season two, I thought it was going to be like a Lucy spinoff.

Speaker 1:

She's 18 at this point. She's kind of wild and free. She's having these affairs with grown men. I really thought it was going to turn into something. That's not the case, even on this season. I'm like her story was so throwaway-able I don't know any other way to say it. She's not even on the finale.

Speaker 1:

When Last we Left she had come home after a hard night or weekend of being the young Miss Dallas who seems to do a whole lot outside of Dallas. Make that make sense. She comes home and she finds Mitch on the couch asleep, and she finds Mitch's homegirl asleep in her bed. Now, full disclosure. I feel a way too, I would be very, very upset if I came home and there's another woman sleeping in my bed. Even if your husband isn't in it, it would have to be like his sister or his mom or something not to be upset. Mitch quickly explains and he's very dismissive about it. That is my friend. It got too late. As you can see, I am fully clothed to sleep on the couch. He was fully clothed behind the door in our bedroom. Absolutely nothing happened. And Lucy's like, yeah, likely story. So she sashays out of the room looking fabulous, tells Mitch she's going to send for her things, raul will come pick up her things, she's going back to South Fork and that's it. That's all it's like.

Speaker 1:

This whole season was Lucy chasing after Mitch. She gets married, then becomes the young Miss Dallas and basically spends every episode just looking fly for no reason. She walking around the kitchen decked out at six in the morning for no reason. I wondered to myself like, was she just busy? Had the show gained enough popularity at this point which I'm sure it had to where she was just doing other projects? Because it really doesn't make sense. I almost wish that they just send Lucy off somewhere. I wish she'd gone off to the East Coast or something to go to school or send her to I don't know somewhere in Europe to hang out for a couple years. But that's pretty much it. She says she's leaving Mitch. I guess Mitch is gone. Not a whole lot to that.

Speaker 1:

Also Rebecca JG Wentworth, aka Cliff and Pam's mother who deserted them. I watched that scene again and it made me even more pissed off. Where she goes over to Cliff's home and he's basically saying I can't believe you abandoned me. Do you know how horrible that is to think your mom is dead and then to find out that not only is she not dead, she just didn't want you. She was living somewhere else. Her getting up and walking away, saying you know, I hoped you could forgive me, because I can't forgive myself something to that effect and then walking out on him again. I don't want to harp on that, but you don't see her this episode. So that's sort of the last thing I remember about her. Just who exactly do you think you are? You really thought she was going to walk in that room, let that man see you, and everything was going to be Gucci and gold. She probably thought, well, I'm not dead. So he's going to be excited that I'm not dead. But I mean, I guess he got over it. When she ate the black licorice, shout out to my friend Bob, who actually likes black licorice Bless your heart, I'll try it again soon. I feel like I haven't had licorice in years, but last time I did it was like cough syrup. So JG Wentworth is pretty much not in this episode. Lucy is not in this episode. Ellie is also not in this episode a whole lot, but she's at the beginning because, like I said, the proverbial ish has hit the fan.

Speaker 1:

Jr's face is splashed all over, I guess, the world, all over tabloids, all over the newspaper, because she calls from Padre one morning talking about JR, what the hell is going on? And he's like, oh mama, nothing. He brushes it off as Cliff Barnes is sort of stirring up trouble. She knows it's about the counter-revolution. It off as Cliff Barnes just sort of stirring up trouble. She knows it's about the counter revolution. She's a little bit worried that Ewing Oil is being investigated. Jr wants to know if his dad has seen it. She goes no, and if I can help it, he's not going to. I mean, again, pardon my ignorance, I wouldn't imagine the paper would be in English in Paris, but I suppose, or even if it was, I can't imagine they would get it quickly. Seems like it'd have to be a day or two or maybe a week or so later. Anyway, she knows what's going down. She wants to know what is. Was Bobby involved, since there's going to be like a Senate hearing possibly? And he's like, no, no, no, bobby wouldn't do anything to even help me. She goes. Well, I don't really sound like him, but keep me posted, let me know what's up, okay.

Speaker 1:

Last little bit player is, of course, ray and his lovely new bride, miss donna culver cribs. Yeah, donna culver cribs, dck or dcc, I don't know. I don't know how you spelled last night anyway, with jock being in paris celebrating his second or third or fourth honeymoon I sure hope it's not the second one and they're like 70 years old Celebrating his honeymoon with Ellie. Ray hasn't been tasked with taking over Jock's position there, but he is hanging out a little bit more with Punk and the other dudes in the newest cartel, the little bitty one. And remember, they have this land they want to develop right outside of Lubbock. Donna wasn't really keen on him being in that deal, but it seems like he either. I don't know, guys, I'm sorry, I don't know it's important but it ain't that important to me. Just know that Ray is is wetting his beak a little bit in business and the other men in the little cartel seem to be impressed with how well he is acclimating. So they offer a deal.

Speaker 1:

Punk anderson, the bolo don juan that man has the best bolo ties I've ever seen in my life. I look forward to seeing him and what he's gonna wear. He says to ray the guys and I like you so much, ray, we weren't we're all going to sell you a point, I'm assuming, from their stock from their stocks, I don't really know or a point in their company. I'm not sure how that works, but it's going to cost him a million dollars per point. So he's buying them from three people. It's going to be $3 million. He's like dang, that's a lot of money. I don't have no money like that.

Speaker 1:

Plunk Anderson and his bolo tie are taken aback a little bit. Like he says I don't mean to pry Ray, but you mean to tell me you and Donna can't come up with $3 million. See, here's the thing. Plunk Anderson doesn't know that Ray has a little bit of a complex about his brand new bride being a millionaire. That's the reason they broke up in the first place. He was content to just kick cow turds all day while she was out politicking without being a politician. They bumped heads.

Speaker 1:

But now that they're together it is natural to assume that you know he's a little bit more comfortable with that, especially understanding his new lineage and the inheritance he got. But I guess he didn't get it all at once. It's an inheritance or he suppose he will get it once jock passes away on the show. But in the meantime, in between time he don't personally have that in his accounts he tells that to punk anderson. He says I don't really have that kind of money donna does, but I don't. Punk anderson's like all right, I mean, let me know by tomorrow morning if you want to do it or no. We're all real impressed with you. We know Jock will be real proud of you.

Speaker 1:

This is odd to me. Jock has always been. He's always had his nose in the business and we understand what happened to the actor. So obviously he's not in it, but at least a faux phone call, right, it isn't like he's. He technically, yes, is on the other side of the world, but he's a phone call away. I can't imagine he would just be relaxed to the point where he doesn't want to know anything about business, especially with Ellie calling every 15 minutes. But Ray decides okay, let me do my best.

Speaker 1:

So Donna is in Virginia. You remember Donna Culver has a stepson. He calls the Senator stepson, which I guess would be his step stepson. I'm not really sure how that works If you marry a woman who has a stepchild. Is that your stepchild? Yes, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 1:

Ray's step-step son answers the phone and says she's going to some event, her and this other lady and he's like, okay, bet. So he hangs up and I guess he decides F it. We have a joint account. I was shocked. My jaw hit the floor. He calls a bank and he says hey, banker, you know that joint account I have with my millionaire wife. Go ahead and cut me a check for $3 million. Yeah, make it a cashier's check. I need it by 10 am tomorrow. Wow, I just, I don't know. That's such a touchy subject. It's so strange. Part of me is like how dare you use her money? But he did call, which is also the same defense that the step step son says.

Speaker 1:

So meanwhile in Virginia, donna Culver comes back a little bit earlier to her step son's office and he's like, oh, hey, ray had called, he was looking for you right about that time. The phone rings Well, is the bank? The bank feels funny about releasing three million dollars, as they should, and they had absolutely no, no trouble tracking her down. She gets on the phone and she's like hey, boo, you working late Because she's got it like that because she's a millionaire, she talks to bankers on the regular and I suppose the banker's like, well, I mean, yeah, but you know, your new husband just called, right, he asked me to cut a check for $3 million. And she goes, oh, he did. Oh, yes, I was aware of that. Yes, okay, go ahead and cut the check. They're like okay, cool. But when they hang up, she tells her stepson that that was the bank in that ray just cut a check for three million dollars and stepson's like, oh wow, I didn't know he had money like that. She doesn't say anything. So stepson ded oh so most of that was your money. He's sort of thinking like me. I mean, well, he did call, that's what he said. He did call, he said he had something important to ask you. So it was probably that. But the fact that he just went ahead and did it, ooh, it's surprising to me.

Speaker 1:

Ray does not strike me as a gambler. He's never been just super outright. He's not like doing a lot on the show other than Lucy, that one time or six or seven times. But he seems very steady in whatever it is he does. Maybe it's just, you know, it's new.

Speaker 1:

He wants to be taken serious and I kind of feel like these guys are taking advantage of that. I can't prove it and I'm not going to go back too many episodes because I got other stuff to watch, but I feel like they know he's a little wet behind the ears and they don't want to. Is that does that mean young? He got milk on his tongue, as they would say. He's young, so he's not as savvy as the rest of them. I kind of feel like they're playing him a little bit. Yeah, him. I kind of feel like they're playing him a little bit. Yeah, so he cuts the check. But at the same time I'm like y'all have a joint account. Yeah, I don't know, girl, I'm sorry, once you hit a million dollars and your new boo don't have that, I think I mean maybe you have a joint account, but I wouldn't put all of my millions in it for sure.

Speaker 1:

Moving on. Speaking of moving right along, my girl, sue Ellen, wants to do just that. Last episode she had just sort of resolved to be John Ross Ewing III's mother. She was going to be happy in that. Only now her newly walking lover is back from the dead and Dusty wants to take her away. He wants to he said I'm not going to lose you again, girl, I want you to be with me.

Speaker 1:

So, dusty, and his blabbermouth daddy you remember the one who told Sue Ellen that he was impotent, I don't know. Okay, I guess he just wanted her to know, but that really was none of his business. I guess dad feels bad about that, this episode. So he says so well then, whatever you need we got. He already understands that JR is not going to just let her go, and she says as much he's not going to let me go, but he's definitely not going to let me go with my son, more importantly, my son. He's way more important to me than JR. So I don't even know how I'm going to get him out of there and he's going to send his full arsenal at me. Everything has lawyers, goons, whatever Dusty's daddy is like.

Speaker 1:

Well, listen, I don't know him, I know of him, but I know me and I know my money. I have just as much money, if not more, than the Ewing's. If he wants to play dirty, we can play dirty. If he wants to act a fool, I'm going to act three fools. Whatever he wants to play dirty, we can play dirty. If he wants to act a fool. I'm gonna act three fools. Whatever he wants to do, it can be whatever.

Speaker 1:

So she's like okay, cool, I like your style, old man. What I want to do, though, is sneak in and get the baby. I feel like if I just take the baby and leave, he'll just have to deal with it. So they're trying to figure out when she can do that and she knows about this whole expose in the paper because, like I said, it was everywhere, and she knows that jr is in a little bit of hot water, so it buys her time because he's going to be distracted. She's like I'll try to do it tonight. That's what I'll do. He'll be distracted, I'll try to do it tonight.

Speaker 1:

Well, jr, at the top of the show, has all these cops at the house, and I was thinking did somebody jump in? Did something robbed? I couldn't really remember why there would need to be a police presence at his home. Turns out he doesn't want the paparazzi getting close to the house, so he has cops there. That does not make sense, but we're going to allow it. Soap tax, soap tax, soap tax.

Speaker 1:

He then heads to Austin so that he can talk to one of the senators. Naturally, jr's reach is far and wide, as far as Texas goes, and he knows a guy. He knows a guy on the Senate same Senate that Bobby's on little panel or whatever. So he goes to him and he's like dude, I so hate to ask a favor, but I need a favor. The guy's like yeah, whatever you need, thank you so much for contributing to my campaign. Jr's like no sweat, I need you to contribute all the receipts y'all have about me being in this foreign oil. And the dude was like I can't, I can't, I can't See what had happened was normally I could, but the justice department is involved and they're going to look at everything. And if there's even a slight chance that it looks like I gave you anything, there goes my head. I can't, I can't risk it. I'm sorry, I just can't risk it. And she was like okay, that's fine, don't worry about it, I'll be in touch soon. And also I'll be in touch when your campaign comes up, basically saying you can forget, my money Doesn't really matter.

Speaker 1:

As soon as he walks out of the door, this little gentleman comes up to him and hands him something. He's like you have been served by the committee of legislative inquiry. They subpoena him. He has been in court in one week. The hits just keep coming. Immediately jr goes to the pay phone. He calls luella, his secretary at the job, and he says hey, I need you to find claude brown and, wherever he is, make sure he gets the hell out of dallas. So she has taken the message. Now she's taking the message. Somebody else is walking in the office, so she's not really paying attention. She's writing everything down once she else is walking in the office, so she's not really paying attention. She's writing everything down Once she hangs up. Someone's like Luella, whatever your last name is. She's like yeah, she subpoenaed as well. She's like, oh crap.

Speaker 1:

Meanwhile JR is in Austin getting even more unfavorable news. He goes to see a lawyer the same lawyer that was going to divorce his parents who should be in Dallas, but he's in Austin, I suppose, for some reason. And the lawyer's like I can't really help you, jr, unless I know what we're up against, and right now I don't know anything. You don't know what these people have. They could have a smoking gun. I'm not saying you did it, but I'm saying you probably did so. I'm gonna need some more evidence. You got, between now and court date or hearing date to uh, collect whatever you can sue.

Speaker 1:

Ellen calls shortly after that. She doesn't call the lawyer, she calls ewing oil. The other secretary, whose name I don't know because she's newish answers and tells her that jr is in austin. She goes oh man, okay, I guess I just missed. I'll try to catch him at the hotel. She hangs up, minds her business. Although this is wonderful news for her, it's also her biggest mistake. This isn't the slutty secretary who likes them. This is the secretary who is good at her job. So naturally she's going to accept that phone call as a message, even though Sue Ellen said she was going to call. Austin matters none, because JR is quite busy at the moment. He's scrambling. What do I do? Jr has way too many women in his life.

Speaker 1:

Because the future Mrs Ewing, ms Leslie Stewart, is over at the West Star, she's like hey, um, I may have some information you might enjoy and I would like to be your PR person for the company if I am so inclined to deliver this information. I have Now. Jeremy at Westar is probably waiting on this information. If I recall, this isn't their first or second meeting. So he's like I'm listening, what's your cash? And so he's like I'm listening. What's your cash? Says I have irrefutable evidence that JR was not only involved but that he funded this counterrevolution in this vaguely Asian country. And Jeremy's like oh, you know, say hmm, so I suppose you said you want to. You want my PR position. I guess you will be my client. I want the PR position. He's like how do I know you're not lying? She goes come to my apartment tonight and you'll find out if I'm lying or not. I'll draw out the contracts. I'll give you what I have. And he's like well, what do you have? She said I have tapes, homeboy. He's like you got tapes? Are you going to give it to the senators at the hearing? She's like I don't know, it depends on how much they pay me. So a lot is going on. That night Leslie Stewart is meeting with Westar to basically put the nail in JR's coffin.

Speaker 1:

Sue Ellen is planning to escape with John Ross, ewing III. Unfortunately, sue Ellen is not good at escaping. Matter of fact, she's terrible Now. She thinks JR is in Austin. So she's sort of taking her time when she goes to get the baby. Only, it's nighttime, right, babies probably go to bed at what? Seven or eight o'clock. No, no, no.

Speaker 1:

She comes in and she puts this baby in a complete like easter outfit. He looks like a little lawyer, he looks like he has business to attend to at 8, 30 at night and she's loudly saying, saying, okay, we're going to go to the sacred cross or sacred something. You're going to love it there. I am basically kidnapping you, which is not kidnapping because it's her son. So she puts his baby on this full sports jacket, button up shirt, pants, and I was like, damn, they don't have granimal back there. There's no oshkosh bagosh you could put him in. No, no, no, he's got to look professional as they sneak out of the house. So she tells the baby they're going bye-bye.

Speaker 1:

Now, john Ross, ewing III is a little parrot at this age. We're going bye-bye, bye-bye. Keep saying that. Unfortunately for her, he's saying that as they're walking down the stairs and in walks. Jr and ar isn't in austin that night. Matter of fact, he was probably already back in dallas, but his secretary thought he was in austin, which would explain how he talked to the lawyer. Anyway, sue, ellen has no poker face, you would think.

Speaker 1:

Miss texas is used to sort of thinking on her feet. She a little rusty, trying to get to. Only now she got to deal with this man in front of her. So as she's coming down the stairs with Mr John Ross Ewing, the third Esquire, jr is immediately suspicious because why is this baby dressed like he's going to court? And he said where y'all going? Nowhere, really. Well, my secretary told me you called today asking where I was. So now what are you doing? She just breaks. She's like so what? Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, I'm out, this bitch, I don't want to be here anymore and I'm taking this professional baby with me. Jr said I'm not my professional baby.

Speaker 1:

He has a police apprehender and they sort of do this thing where they collide up against each other and spin and he's able to snatch the baby out of her arms right away. And I thought it was a stunt double at first. I had to rewind it because I thought it was like a my Buddy doll, the one with hair. But no, it looks like it was the baby. Now he's not loudly crying, but later you see he has like tears in his eyes. He snatches the baby, has a cop grab her and he said don't ever let her back in this house.

Speaker 1:

She's, you know, as you would, acting a fool. She's yelling I'm going to get you, jr, give me my baby. She's very loud as she's being drug out of the house. I'm going to get him. I'm going to get him and there's nothing you can do about it. Well, I guess all the ruckus stirs Pam because there she goes, at the top of the stairs, she sees Sue Ellen being drug out by the cops kicking and screaming and she says dang it, jr, give her that baby. That is her baby, give it back to her. He looks up at her. He's like mind your business, pam, she is not getting my professional baby. She's just like your mama, drunken slut that ran off and left her baby First off.

Speaker 1:

It's worth noting that this is the second time JR says out loud that he would kill Sue Ellen. I'll kill you. Somebody asked him about it last episode when he was trying to see how quickly he could get divorced and sell the whole company and be with Leslie Stewart. He told the lawyer like if she tries to take my baby or whoever I can't remember If she tries to take my kid, I'll kill her. Talking about Sue Ellen, she's yelling at him trying to get the baby. He's like I'll kill you before you get this baby. She's like yeah, whatever, whatever, she's getting drug out. Pam confronts him. Like I said, his revisionist history turnaround time is remarkable. I'm always sort of a little bit impressed with people who can lie with a straight face. Have you no shame? You didn't even stutter, saying that he just told Pam to mind her business and that her mama was a drunken slut and she ran off and left her kids too. And I'm like wait a minute, hold up. He literally snatched the baby out of Sue Ellen's arms 15 seconds ago. But let him tell it now she ran out on the baby. She ran out on the baby is what he's telling Pam, who bore witness to the whole situation.

Speaker 1:

Number two why is Rebecca JG Wentworth, 877 Cash, now catching a stray? Why are you bringing her up Like she ain't got nothing to do with this? I was really hoping. Pam said hold up. First off, my daddy was the drunk, not my mama. Get it right. And second, uh, what slut? Excuse me, well, now I don't know about her, her, but I hardly think two dudes constitutes as a slut, especially coming from JR. Her mama was, I mean, yeah, she ran off, oh, yeah, and you know what she was with that man. I forgot about that, okay. So yeah, I guess she can say she left me with my daddy. My daddy was drunk. I don't know who else she was with. Yes, the dead dude turned out to be my dad. So I don't know who else she was with. Yes, the dead dude turned out to be my dad. So I mean there's that. But I mean I don't think that makes her a slut. She definitely wasn't a drunk. Now she did run off. I'll give you that she ran off, but let the record reflect that she was a healthy, sober woman with a normal and healthy sex drive, not a drunken slut, let the record reflect. Speaking of, I ain't calling nobody out their name, that's why I call the secretary a slut. Look what the cat drug in. Again.

Speaker 1:

Kristen comes to JR's office and she wants some more super secret child support. Apparently, he's been sending a check right alongside old hound dog face Jordan Lee, but she wants more. She ain't satisfied. Now, this is interesting, I have to give it to her. This is quite the little scheme she's got going on here. Who's to say she didn't tell three or four people that they was a baby's daddy? And you just collect the checks. She tells JR though she has time today. She said I have picked up some habits in LA that I need to keep up. I'm going to need you to run me some more money Now.

Speaker 1:

He's almost sick to his stomach because he's at risk of losing the company. He's basically at risk of being put away. He can go to prison, which was Dusty's dad's point when Sue Ellen was nervous about taking the baby. He says it's not normal for courts to give the father custody. And if this man goes to jail, that's like it's not normal for for courts to give the father custody. And if this man goes to jail, that's like it's just better on you. So everybody's sort of banking on him going to jail and maybe Kristen is too. She knows he could. So he's like listen, I don't have the money today. I need to move a few things around, but I'll go ahead and cut you your check. It's like okay, and if he doesn't, she basically threatens to tell his mother and then she says send my love to Sue Ellen, okay.

Speaker 1:

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, cliff is fully just sort of riding high on this, although when he brought it up to the, the senators, they weren't really trying to hear. They don't have a choice and he's kind of proud of himself because he orchestrated all this. He's the one who dropped the dime on him to. The papers don't really matter, though. Jr must be one hell of a lover or one hell of a check writer, or maybe he's both, because all it takes is 2.78 seconds for Afton, who's Mitch's little sister, to come over to Cliff's house and they're having drinks and he just keeps saying God, I'm so sleepy and I'm so tired. I don't know why I'm so tired. Well, he's tired because she done slipped something in his drink.

Speaker 1:

Man conks out flat out on his couch. She shakes him a little bit, promptly, goes to the door, opens it up, lets jr and a do dirt dude come in and leisurely, casually, without rush, search for all of the evidence that cliff has against him. I mean, they take their time, they go. I mean it didn't take long, but there's no rush. There's clothes and drawers and stuff. They even go to the kitchen table and sort through everything. They have to take pictures, and this is like 1981. So it's not a camera phone, it's the damn near the one you stand under with the blanket. Look at the little birdie, the big. It is hella loud as the man takes pictures of every single piece of paper that cliff has. You know he had to go get that developed and he even says out loud well, you only have four days till the hearing. I guess you could drop it off at walgreens or whatever, but I don't know if that one hour photo back in 1981 either way, that's neither here nor there, because jr has exactly what he needs. He paid afton a couple bucks. She bounces clip is none the wiser about being drugged. He's passed out. I guess he wakes up later and the next time we see everybody is in court. I'm going to be very honest.

Speaker 1:

Not a whole lot is happening in this episode, but this scene was kind of interesting. Claude Brown totally don't remember who Claude Brown is, but he has been subpoenaed. The secretary was subpoenaed. She didn't actually testify. And let me be clear it's not really a court case, it's a hearing, which is why JR wasn't given the evidence in the first place. It's not an actual court case. You don't have to do that if it's not in court.

Speaker 1:

So Cliff was banking on him showing up and just sort of being blind to what they had, and then it would have just been irrefutable. He wouldn't have had time to explain it away, but he had four days to think of stuff. The first people they interview are from the cartel, so it's Jordan, lee and the one and only lady. They're basically saying yeah, it was kind of weird that everything went down with the Asian oil wells, but I can't prove he did anything. I'm just saying it sort of sounds like something he could do, and the lady agrees. That's exactly what she said. She's like yeah, I told JR this seems like this is something he'd be capable of, but did he do it? I'm sure I don't know. I have no way to say that. I have no proof. I don't know, but it seems like something he would do. Yeah Well, that ain't good enough.

Speaker 1:

Claude comes in and I swear y'all, this is the same dude that served in the subpoena. It was just from the back, we couldn't really see his face. They just put a man in some sunglasses and had him testify. The long and short of it is that Claude Brown went to this vaguely Asian country and delivered money to three different people, three different people who happened to be in the embassy for that country. Next thing, you know, the government is overthrown, blah, blah, blah. Money goes missing. So it's pretty much a smoking gun. It should be sort of an open and shut case, because all this money came from JR, all this money was delivered by Claude Brown and he said well, I was given the money so that they could overthrow their government, he ain't trying to go to jail. Well, if that's not bad enough.

Speaker 1:

In walks Leslie Stewart in shoes I could tell she didn't break in. She was walking like her feet hurt in this little mob number with the with the collar, I guess, to make herself look more innocent. Her hair's pulled up, she's all professional. She looks like a school mom and they immediately started asking her what happened. And she sings like a canary. She talking about I don't work for JR anymore.

Speaker 1:

I put in my resignation back in April. I'm now working for Westar. You know I don't have nothing to do with him. And they're like okay, well, why do you think he did it? She goes well, he told me. That's how I know. I know, I know he did it because he told me he did it. And they say you don't say she says well, sir, luckily I record all of my conversations that I have with anybody all the time, so I happen to have this tape. Here's the thing the devil works hard. Kris Jenner works harder. Nobody works as hard as JR. It makes it look so easy.

Speaker 1:

So the tape that Leslie has, she is definitely trying to incriminate him and I don't know if he's just wise like that or he's used to being set up or he's just suspicious. But on the tape you hear her saying JR, you overthrew that, don't you have something to do with that? And he's like I don't. I mean, I just bought oil wells, that's all I did. And she tries again JR, if you're going to be my client, you're going to have to tell me everything. I don't want to be caught off guard. I'm going to have to spin this. You know she tries to take the PR angle. I need to be able to spin this in case something comes out. He goes well, honey, nothing's coming out. I just bought some oil wells, got a deal. I didn't know the country was going to do. Whatever she goes, jr, you 100% have something to do with overthrowing this country. And on the tape he says well, if that's what you want me to say, honey, then sure People already seem to think that he didn't incriminate himself.

Speaker 1:

Now, luckily, I'm watching this in 2025. I've had the luxury of watching the OJ Simpson trial court TV law and order right away. It's like yo. He did not incriminate himself at all, he really didn't. He didn't say, he didn't outwardly admit to anything. But it doesn't matter, because if you put all these pieces together, you have a guy who took money from JR because he was sent overseas to pay off these people. You have his PR agent, who has recorded a conversation where he sort of admits it in a tongue in cheek way. It seems like it would be enough to take it to the next level. Only JR is not one to get caught. He's not. You got to wake up extra early in the morning to catch him, so he's very easily able to explain this the way he says.

Speaker 1:

Now, what had happened was I knew I wanted some oil wells over in this vaguely Asian country. I'm trying to rebrand myself. Y'all seen the papers. You know what I'm saying. I'm trying to rebrand myself and I don't want to come off as a greedy American who just goes to a country and takes, takes, takes. So I made a few donations so that they could build their infrastructure, blah, blah, blah. Next thing, you know, there's a counter-revolution. I didn't know that was going to happen.

Speaker 1:

The senators are all looking at each other like is that so Seems like a likely story, jr, this all just happened at once. So you mean to tell me now you're friends with the new government? He's like well, like I said, I didn't know they were going to do that, but I mean I guess it doesn't hurt that I had already donated this here money to them. The senator's like yeah, yeah, yeah, cliff is kind of smirking like damn, I'm impressed, even though I know you're full of it, but I'm impressed nonetheless. Jr calls this plane to come. He's like well, I only did what I had to do. I didn't know they were going to overthrow the country. It just sort of worked out my favor. And I mean, if they're friends with me now they are. But I mean, what can I say? So they're like well, why did you tell Leslie that you did it? He says well, I mean, look at her.

Speaker 1:

Basically, he says in his hearing, which is televised, by the way, or being recorded by this very large camera, he basically says I was just trying to get in them draws, so I had to say what I had to say. You know what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying. They all are like yeah, okay, I guess Trifling 1981 is so trifling Anyway, it really doesn't matter, because In walks a man from a vaguely Asian country. This man from a vaguely Asian country is played by James Hong. I promise you. I promise you, you know who this man is.

Speaker 1:

But let me get to what he says. First. His name is Ambassador Thon and he says that what had happened was JR, like he said, is trying to build the infrastructure in my country before it was taken over. He didn't know, he had no idea. This man walks in with these beautiful watercolor paintings of the buildings, like what's going to happen? What like? What they're going to build is oh, look at this hospital, we're going to build this here and this is a new school. And the committee is looking over like, wow, that's wild. Now it all seems like this seems like a likely story, but it's crazy enough to be true. We're going to do this. Now.

Speaker 1:

Cliff is about to just bust out laughing. He's like y'all cannot I repeat, you cannot be believing this. Mr Thawne not only shows them these plans and these beautiful watercolors, but he's able to say JR gave us $9 920 american dollars. Mr brown kept 80k for himself. Mr brown, who already said he did it for the counter-revolution, he kept it for himself for procuring the deal.

Speaker 1:

Well, cliff is about this sniggling. At this point he's laughing like dude, come on, y'all cannot be believing this. So he says, okay, let's say all that happened, all that money was in the Bank of Singapore and then it disappeared, never to be seen again until today. Suddenly it's all accounted for. Can you explain that? And the senator is like yeah, I mean, that's a good question to Switzerland, because our government was in shambles and we didn't really know what was going to be up or down or left or right. We didn't want to risk losing all that money forever and not being able to build the stuff. So we put the money in a Swiss account and now that we know everything is Gucci, we can put it back where it was. Likely story.

Speaker 1:

But you know what? Jay already had one of the senators in his pocket, the guy who does not want to lose all that campaign money. And he says you know, I think we should equate them, we should just let this go. They all agree, Unanimous decision, we're going to let this all go. Mr Thawne also adds Mr Ewing not only sent all this money to us. He promises us 10% of all of Ewing Oil's profit. 10% of all of Ewing Oil's profit. Now, that was clearly not a part of their deal, but hey, that's the price you pay for him coming in their line for you at the last minute.

Speaker 1:

Now Mr Vaughn is a guy I had to look up James Hong, because I'm like God this man is making his money. He was on Dynasty as Stephen's doctor in the South Asian country that was, you know, wasn't ever named there either. He was a plastic surgeon for Stephen's new face, not old face Stephen, new face Stephen. Then he was Chow Lee's cousin on season two of Falcon Crasher. This guy in BD was ridiculous. I'm saying this man has been working since 1959. He is still alive. He is 95 years old, living in Milwaukee. But I'm like this man got every check.

Speaker 1:

He's got a very distinct voice to me in a cadence that is undeniable. When you hear him you know it's him every single time, which is why I was able to recognize him from Kung Fu Panda. He was in the Thundermans as the grandpa a couple episodes. I think my kids love that show. They just watch it on repeat. His voice is just as distinct to me as like a Morgan Freeman. You hear Morgan Freeman, you know immediately with him, even if you don't know his face. Like a Sam Elliott, it's that distinct man, either way. He was getting his check.

Speaker 1:

Cliff is none too happy about this going down the way it goes down. So he goes over to JR and he's like I'm gonna let you know right now if you think this is the end of it. This ain't the end of it by a mile. And jr is like cliff, stop trying to make fetch happen. It's never going to happen. If you was gonna catch me, you would have caught me by now. Sir, come on now. Cliff is pissed.

Speaker 1:

Cliff don't know that he was drugged and that the evidence actually came from him. He thinks Bobby gave it up. So he goes to confront Bobby. He was like wow, I never thought in my life that you would do this. I can't believe you gave him all that information. And Bobby's like you can't really believe that, do you? Cliff's like definitely do. Now. Bobby says look, come to the branch tonight. We'll talk about it. I'll prove I didn't do it. Cliff says all right, I will. This scene to me did not? It seems a little bit rushed. I'm starting to think well, I'll get there in a second, we'll talk about that in a minute. Bobby looks sick to his stomach this whole time and now that I think about it he's not in this episode very much. Nobody's really in this episode very much. So cliff agrees he'll go to the. He'll go to the house at night.

Speaker 1:

Meanwhile JR goes back to his job, business as usual, and his secretaries are all clapping when he walks in. They already heard that he's, you know, free at last. Free at last. So JR tells Phyllis who's the new secretary looked up her name, phyllis. I need you to call Leslie Stewart. Tell her I want to see her tonight. Bet Llewellyn, call the Cattleman's Club. I'm going to rent out that whole thing. And then, when you're done, write up a letter of recommendation. She goes, a letter of recommendation. He's like yeah, you're going to get a new job. I told you to get Claude Brown out of town. He almost put me in jail, so you got to go. He's going to be kind enough to sign the recommendation letter that she types up.

Speaker 1:

Kristen is in his office and he's got a brand new swing in his step. He's not worried about her anymore. She's like I'm here for my money. He's like what money? Don't play in my face. You know I can make your life real difficult if I see fit to do so. He's like what are you going to tell my mom? You're going to tell my dad? I don't care, tell him. Tell him, do that and I'll make sure you go to the clink for popping a cap in my ass. You think I forgot? And she's like ah God, I guess I did shoot you. Damn, I forgot about that, because it ain't too late, honey. Well, the next time we see Kristen, she's in her hotel room. She's pissed. He does threaten her. Let me say that too. He tells her to get out of his office and if she's smart she better get out of Dallas, or he's going to send some goons to make her wish. She never met him. She leaves.

Speaker 1:

The next time we see her, she's in her hotel room. She's on the phone with somebody. She's like well, it didn't work, so I don't know who she's working with. Part of me kind of thinks it's that guy who I thought looked like the kid from Utopia Euphoria. I can't remember. He was working with Cliff for a while. You know the one. You know who I'm talking about. I don't know if that's him. That's who I think it is. I'm like I don't know who else she would be talking to on the phone. She tells whoever it is on the phone that you know he's not going to give her the money and I guess they say well, I guess you should give up. And she's the other side of town.

Speaker 1:

Sue Ellen shows up to Pam's job and she says Pam, pam's hugging her. They never seem like they get along to me. I don't know if they got along in real life, but I know they don't really. They don't seem like they got along too much on the show. Sue Ellen and Pam, that is. But Pam hugs her because she saw everything go down. She said, girl, I worried about you. Good, everything okay. Yeah, everything's fine, but I really want my baby. I need your help, pam. Now Pam doesn't say yes, but you know she's down because, a she don't like JR. B he called her mama a drunk slut when she wasn't drunk, probably not that slutty also. And c she feels like the baby needs to be with Sue Ellen, no question about that.

Speaker 1:

Jr ends up going over to Leslie Stewart's house and to my surprise I guess they're a little more light than I thought. Two birds of a feather. She's like hey, you know. Sorry, not sorry, it was you or me. I thought you were sinking so I jumped ship. And he's like no, I totally get it, I would have done the exact same thing to you. And she's like oh, cool, well, I mean no hard feelings, I guess. And he's like listen, the way you only think about yourself is so sexy, it turns me on so much. And she's like really, you still want me. He's like, yeah, I want you more than ever. So they do the one whomp-de-womp.

Speaker 1:

Next thing, you know, they're sitting in bed and she's a lady because they have crystal glasses filled with champagne. And he goes, you know what? That was not worth the wait. And she says you know what? Baby, I was thinking the same thing clint glasses. He's like you should call west star. You probably got a job over there. Miss stewart is a lady and way ahead of the game. She's already got that job locked in, as far as we know. But she is a lady because she keeps on her pantyhose. Now, how she did the funky watusi with her pantyhose on, I'm sure I don't know. But I mean she said it was whack. He said it was whack, so I suppose he's better at writing checks than that. But makes no, nevermind, all is well.

Speaker 1:

He goes home. When he gets there he goes to that fever dream of a nursery. He's looking for John Ross ewing the third, only john ross ewing the third is not there. He goes downstairs ellie's not there, teresa's not there. None of the staff is there. The house is mad empty. Bobby's not there, only the cop is there.

Speaker 1:

And he goes did you where's my son? The cop says oh, mrs ewing took him for a ride. Didn't I tell you not to let? Oh, no, the other Mrs Ewing. That's what they get for having 97 people with the same name in the house. The other Mrs Ewing took him. What Police are called? He says my sister-in-law just kidnapped my son. She's in a black Porsche with Ewing number six as a license plate. That's another thing. I don't know how they're doing any dirt with these license plates with their names on them. So now there's a bolo out for pam.

Speaker 1:

Next thing we see cliff comes storming up to the house and when he gets there he looks over and he sees somebody like face down in the pool. He jumps in and he flips over. He says her, he flips over the woman and he's like, oh my god, she's dead. Jr is up on the balcony holding a drink, just sort of looking really satisfied, and Cliff is sort of wailing like, oh my God, what have you done? End scene.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I want to be fair here. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it, I'm not saying that it's not good. What I am saying is that it definitely felt off. Now that I'm putting all the pieces together, like, okay, we started off this season with a bang, quite literally a bang. Jr is being rushed to the hospital.

Speaker 1:

He's been shot, we don't know who. Since we shot him first, two, three, four episodes, the buildup after that. I'm not saying that it lulled, this just seems like it came out of nowhere. This is the first time. The last couple episodes he's just threatening to kill everybody. I'll kill you, I'll kill you.

Speaker 1:

Up until now jr has been. He's been kind of shy steam. He's been a liar. He's definitely a cheat. He is scandalous, he is self-centered, he is selfish, he is self-absorbed, but he ain't no killer. You know what I mean. Even if you take val's story, remember, val suffered the same fate. He. He promised kristen. He sent goons after val. So she was bullied out of Texas for 16 plus years but she never died. You know what I'm saying. It would have been real easy to just offer, but he never did. I don't, I just don't see him as no killer, but he's awfully satisfied by whoever's in the pool. Now that's the other question.

Speaker 1:

I know you OGs already know those of us who don't know, I don't know Like the person. It looks like they have dark hair. My first thought was it was Leslie Stewart, and I'll tell you why. He absolutely threatened Kristen. He absolutely threatened Pam. He absolutely threatened Sue Ellen. He didn't threaten Leslie Stewart at all. Now that I'm saying out loud. I don't know why she would go back to his house or how she got there, but I think that could be part of the mystique. I don't really know. Kristen makes a lot of sense, like she would go over there, but it looks like they have short hair. Kristen has a bunch of hair. So I don't really know. Know, but somebody is dead off in the pool at south fort.

Speaker 1:

It was good, I'm not gonna lie, it was very good. But uh, you can just. You can just tell something has shifted. Like there's not everybody's not really in the story very much ever. There's just very few scenes for this to be the finale. It almost feels like it wasn't gonna be the finale, but they just sort of aired it. Not bad though. Season four did not disappoint, and I'm still excited.

Speaker 1:

One of our soap queens made it to Dallas, to the South Fork experience, and when I tell you I sipped my beverage and went through every single picture. My favorite picture is Sue Ellen and not Sue Ellen, excuse me, first off, sue Ellen. Yes, because I adore her. I love her so much, sue Ellen and not Sue Ellen. Excuse me, first off, sue Ellen. Yes, cause I adore her, I love her so much. Sue Ellen looks amazing still, but my girl, val and Lucy, I loved it. Val, lucy and our soap theme Bob, I loved it so much. It just makes me wonder.

Speaker 1:

I thought about that. Of course, I think about it all the time, but I thought about that specifically because in one of the photos. I think about it all the time. But I thought about that specifically because in one of the photos they have this beautiful oil painting of Jock I think there's maybe two of them and they have like Jock's car. They had to have been really devastated. I don't want to look too deep into that just yet. I don't think it'll give away much. Maybe I'll just pull up a little bit, but I know that had to be just devastating, considering that he'd gotten sick and you can see that earlier in the the season I remember looking at him and he had that sort of bloat. And I don't mean that in any disrespectful way, but when you're like pumped full of steroids when you're in the hospital, sometimes there's a look. I remember seeing that with my kid brother a lot.

Speaker 1:

So I imagine this was probably not easy to do, not easy to film. They did a good job. But there is a little bit of a cloud hanging over this, so I'm going to just sort of keep that in mind. I'm not going to be too harsh. I loved it. It was still good.

Speaker 1:

Jr is who he is. He is exactly who he thinks. He is. Worth his weight in in gold. He's worth the price of admission if you just want to watch something, if for no other reason than to watch him. Side note, I was. I was in the, the living room and this was on and my kid was walking through and he was kind of helping me. We're trying to like put the vacuum together or something. And he looks up and he's like is that derwood? Why, how do you know who that is? My mother-in-law watches bewitched like yeah, that is derwood. All right, y'all. I think that's it, that's all. Enjoyed myself. I hope you did too.

Speaker 1:

On this finale of dallas season four. Join me next time as we jump back into. I don't know who we're going to do next, but it's going to be big, it's going to be bold, you know it's going to be a cliffhanger, no matter who it is. So still get yourself some champagne or whatever you need to do. Join me next time as we jump back into Soap Offer the Botry. Remember, you can always reach out to me. Check the show notes for the text link and you can send me a text, or you can reach out via email at SoapLorePodcasts at gmailcom. That's S-O-A-P-L-O-R-E-P-O-D-P-A-S-T at gmailcom. In the meantime, in between time, stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business and keep all of your drama on TV. Bye.