S4 EP30 Falcon Crest: The Avenging Angel-The " Vineyards of Boom" Finale Episode

Revenge is a dish best served with fine wine and explosives in the spectacular season 4 finale of Falcon Crest.<br><br>Like the old lady who swallowed a fly in the children's rhyme, our Tuscany Valley power players find themselves trapped in destructive cycles of their own making. Angela Channing returns to her gloriously villainous roots, abandoning her compliant façade to orchestrate the financial ruin of Chase and Richard. Her meticulous plan to sabotage the Helios deal demonstrates why she remains television's most calculating matriarch – but even she doesn't see the blindside coming.<br><br>The emotional stakes soar as Lorraine's condition deteriorates to brain death, forcing Lance to make an impossible choice while Richard watches his obsessive vendetta claim yet another victim. Meanwhile, Melissa faces her sentencing with unexpected support from Angela, whose courtroom appearance masks a deeper strategy. Family bonds shatter as Chase betrays Maggie with Connie Giannini, sending Maggie straight into Richard's surprisingly welcoming arms.<br><br>But the true masterstroke comes when Cassandra Wilder reveals her shocking identity – she's the daughter of a man whose vineyard Angela destroyed years ago, and she's spent decades plotting the perfect revenge. Now controlling two-thirds of Falcon Crest, Cassandra proves that patient vengeance is the most devastating kind. The season concludes with a heart-stopping explosion at Richard's home, leaving viewers to wonder who survived as the power dynamics of Tuscany Valley are forever altered.<br><br>Whether you're revisiting this golden age primetime classic or discovering it for the first time, this finale reminds us why vintage television delivered unmatched dramatic satisfaction. Pour yourself something "bubbly and bright" and witness the spectacular culmination of 30 episodes of scheming, betrayal, and the ultimate power play.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to the Falcon Crest Finale
• 3:24 The Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly
• 7:19 Melissa Faces Her Sentencing
• 11:09 Lorraine's Tragic Condition
• 16:51 Angela's Return to Power
• 24:12 The Helios Deal Falls Through
• 37:36 Cassandra's Revenge Revealed
• 45:42 Chase's Betrayal with Connie
• 1:16:01 The Explosive Ending

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:01

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome and welcome back to Soapboy, the official gathering place for new lead novices and OG Dialog fans of the Golden Age of Primetime. I'm hoping viewing and reviewing one of the most explosive prime time finales of all season 4, episode 30, Falcon Quest. So whether you're new to this or new to this, you'll back and enjoy. I'm not joking today. Don't make it this time to play out Falcon Bike. Don't make notify suggestions or the next 25 or 55 minutes. Everyone else will be talking. Be cool, be quiet, or you will be without the needle of watching us talking. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Welcome and welcome back to South More. Oh. I don't mean to be dramatic, but I'm going to be dramatic. I just had the time of my life for the past 48 minutes. It was spectacular. It was intriguing. I can't even form full sentences in this moment. I had me a good time. I hope you're ready to have a good time as well. Falcon Crest, season finale, 30 episodes this season. I'll tell you what, if you don't have it together by the end, you might as well scrap the whole project. Lucky for us, Falcon Crest. I don't know why I was not expecting the unexpected. I was expecting more of the same, but in a wonderful story. I got so much more than a bargain for, okay? Not to be dramatic, but this might have been my favorite finale ever. Like ever. I was a little concerned, I'm not gonna lie. With the buzzer beater storyline flip at episode 20, you know, I'm used to Falconcrest coming in with a nice neat bow, making sure everything is cohesive, making sure every sentence is accounted for, every scene is worthwhile, everything means something. That wasn't necessarily the case this season. No, it doesn't really matter. We still had an explosive finale. I can't wait to get in with you. So go ahead and pour yourself up something bubbly and bright. Y'all tell me why. Last time I was on here, I had the toast. Remember the non-alcoholic regular dagger champagne. I went back to get the sangria because I have these cherries in my fridge that have been in this airtight jar. I need to do something with those sooner rather than later. And I don't bake. So I was just gonna chop them up with oranges and all kinds of other stuff, pour it in my wine and have myself a good time. Only me putting it out there into the world, all of a sudden, all the sangria disappeared. So I picked up the rose to. If you haven't tried toast, makes me know, never mind. I'm just saying, if the spirit moves you, if you're walking in Walmart or Target or Kroger's or Ralph's, wherever you're at, and you happen to see it, it's like eight bucks. Pick it up. You're not gonna be mad, I promise. This rose is delightful. Just like this episode of Falcon Crest. Season four, episode 30, Avenging Angels. The more I watch vintage primetime television, the more I realize that modern television doesn't really exist in the traditional sense. Not really. Most of the shows we watch now are streamed, and there is no such thing as a 30-episode season. It seems a little bit out of character for 1985 as well. You have to wonder though, when you write that many episodes, is it a conscious choice? Is it sort of throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks, seeing maybe you could film something this season, use it next season? I don't really know. But when you're telling a story, especially a serial story, you gotta get from point A to point B, and sometimes you gotta go all the way around the block to do that. That's what we I see a lot on this episode. Chase, Richard, and Angela all have something they want to achieve. For the first time in a very long time, they're all on the same page, but everybody's taking different steps. You gotta do this so you can get that. You gotta talk to this person so that you can buy this, you can sell that, so you can have this. Reminds me of that story. Maybe it's not a story, I think it's a song. The old lady who swallows a fly. Always get that confused with the old lady that lives in a shoe, which I thought was a fantastic concept when I was a kid. The old lady that swallows a fly. You remember she swallows a fly, freaks out, then she swallows like a spider, realizes, oh my god, I have a spider and a fly now. Let me swallow this bird. Then she has to swallow a cat, she swallows a dog, she swallows a horse. I had no idea that horses and dogs had this sort of beef, but I mean, I'm not privy to a lot of animal goings on behind my back. I had no idea. But the concept of that whole story is it's not meant to be taken seriously. It's not literal, it's it's a nonsensical song, I think they call it. Just something sort of silly, something melodic. It teaches kids sequencing and extends your memory a little bit. It's meant to teach you, but in a lot of ways, in real life, you do do things step by step. Sometimes there are things you don't really want to do, a means to an end. You skip going out, you skip that vacation so you can put a down payment on a house. You pack your lunch so that you can save up for a trip. You make small sacrifices with the end in mind. That's the goal. The old lady who swallowed the fly was not thinking, she was being reactive instead of proactive. And so, of course, she dies at the end. This episode is a master class in starting with the the end in mind. Sometimes you swallow down things you don't want to in order to get the things you do want. The trick here is to keep the end in mind. You gotta know why you're doing this, and you also gotta know when to stop. Had the lady stopped at the bird, she'd probably be fine. Speaking of which, we start the episode off with bad girl Melly Mel eating crow. First thing we see this episode is Melissa on the front steps of Falcon Crest, the home she left last season in haste, sonless, husbandless, inheritanceless. I mean, these things, when you add them all up, are kind of devastating. I'm not making excuses for anybody. You gotta understand her state of mind. Yeah, she made a bad business deal, things went awry, and now she has to pay the price. I can honestly say she's standing in the front door, she's not there so that anyone would have pity on her per se. I mean, that's probably like 35% of it, but the rest is just guilt. This got out of hand. This went real bad, and man, I didn't mean it. She wants to apologize to Angela only. Angela does not answer her own door, duh. Usually Chowley would, but I guess he's busy doing something else. And the manimal is there to greet Mrs. Gioberti. Unluckily for her, Big Perm is back in her bully era. She ain't with the ish. Melissa's like, I'm so sorry. She's telling the manimal all these things, and he's like, Don't worry, I'm gonna represent you. I'm gonna be the best lawyer I can be for you. Angela hears this and she's like, Well, cry me a river. Look with the cat drug in. Oh, listen to you. I'm so sorry. Boo-hoo. Things got out of hand. Blah, blah, blah. Cry me a river. Now that you said your piece, scram, get off my property. Dropping the value. Melissa's like, please, Angela, I know. I'm just really sorry. I need you to hear me out. Angela says, girl, my grandson spent time in jail. He was on his way to prison. He became a fugitive running amok all up and down the West Coast. Lorraine lost a whole baby. Now she's laid up in the hospital. You're talking about you sorry. Melissa's like, I am. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking clearly. You took me out of the inheritance and I lost my mind a little bit. You know what it is. You know how it is. Truth is, Angela does know how it is. I'm sure many moons ago she was a whole lot like Melissa, but makes her know never mind. She tells her to get the heck off her property, be gone. I'll see you in court at your sentencing. That's the other thing, sort of looming over Melissa's head. She's turned herself in, she's been released, but there is a court date where she will be sentenced. She has to pay for this crime. I I let me just reiterate this one more time. I am so very disappointed that Melissa, aka Badgirl Melly Mel, would allow herself to be entrapped by such foolishness. Unless she signed the memo line on the check, I would have told them he was gonna put in a pool, he was gonna redo my roof, he was gonna build me a pool house, and he was gonna manage the property.$50,000. That seems like$50,000 worth of stuff in 1985 to me. This was circumstantial, but I guess it's the guilt kicking it. She's not really Melissa's not a villain. She's a bad girl, not a villain, and there is a very distinct difference. A villain is willing to do the worst, and their conscience is little to none. It doesn't really factor into a lot of their decisions. A bad girl is highly emotional. Both a villain and a bad girl want power. She wanted the power, but you know what? Her little feelings got in the way. The minute this man was in handcuffs, she was like, dang, I can't, oh god, that no, that's not what I thought. I thought he was gonna get a drug charge, but here we are. Once Melissa leaves, Angela looks over at the manimal, just shocked, like, can you believe she came over my house early in the morning asking for forgiveness? And she thought she would receive it. Clearly, she's high. She's tripping, trippin'. The manimal's like, I mean, you're probably gonna forgive her once you need her grapes. Angela's like, What grapes? Her harvest. Dang, I keep forgetting about that. Dang. So now Angela has a decision to make. She's just read this little girl for Phil, kicked her out one more gin. But you know what? She really does need those grapes. Especially now that she only owns one-third of Falcon Crest. So she's like, dang. Let me go to bed. Let me sleep on it. When I wake up in the morning, we'll see how I feel. Angela Big Perm Channing might be the best part of this whole episode. She is back to being a surly old lady. She's had to play nice for far. Well, let's let's be clear. Let's be clear. Let me not insult her. She never played nice, she played compliant. She has been compliant for far too long. 29 episodes is way more than enough. It's time for her to get back on her you get on my damn nerves tour. This episode, she wants everyone to see her for who she is. She is that chick. She'll roll over you if she needs to. She'll do whatever she needs to do to get the job done. She will swallow whatever flies, spider, bird, whatever she needs to do to make sure that A to Z is in order. Only she's not aware of a bit player. Enter Cassandra. Cassandra is so 80s this episode. From the pastel outfit to the shoulder pads to the slick back, sort of boofed hair, is typical short 80s hair where it's not quite a mullet, not quite like a bob. Somewhere in between, slick back poofed up on the side. She's a power broker. She's a business lady in the 80s. Shoulder pads on fleek. This episode, she's like, you know what? I'm tired of being cute too, Angela. I understand this. I'm tired of putting up this facade claws out. So she's in her office. Her little brother Damon, aka Riker, comes in. He's smirking. He's sort of floating in and out, and she knows why. He's sweet on Emma, and Emma's sweet on him. She asked him what he's smiling at, and he's like, You don't want to hear the answer. She's like, actually, I do. If it's about Emma, I do want to hear it because I want you to take her and her mother out for a delicious meal. And Damon's immediately suspicious. Why do you want me to take them out to eat? Well, my do dirt dude will be in town, and I need the house completely empty so he can ransack it. Damon is appalled. It's one thing to defend your family. I get it. Mama said, knock you out. That's exactly what we're gonna do. Nobody said anything about BE. He gets up like, dude, this is this is too much. I'm listening I'm all for destroying Angela Channing. I'm all for ruining her life and taking Falcon Crest, but this is getting out of hand. We're messing up Chase's life, we're messing up Richard's life. Because Sandra's like, I mean, that's the cost to be the boss. You want to lay in bed with the devil? This it is what it is. I'm sorry for the collateral damage, but it is what it is. Mama said, knock them out. That's what we gotta do. Damon's like, I know, but B and E? Really? She's like, Yeah, B and E, really. Would you rather, would you rather everybody be home? Here's here's your choice, Damon. You have two choices. You can take your girlfriend out and you can take her mother out and make sure that you take them out in San Francisco. I don't want it in Tuscany Valley. I need them gone because I need Chali gone too. Don't nobody want to run up on Chali in an empty house. Or my dood dude can bust in and turn that B-E to a real life beating, snuffing out Emma and her mom. Do you want Emma to happen up on my dood dude? Or do you want Emma to eat salmon croquettes? The choice is yours. He scoffs. Fine, fine, fine, I'll take him out. Storms out, but he's none too pleased about their burger burglar burglary plans. He thinks she's not thinking clearly. She is. She wants the deed, the dood do to break into the house so that she can get Angela Channing's bin. Now you have to remember how this whole Helios thing is playing out. Cassandra sought out Richard by way of his Francesca Wine and Spirits. She became the ad exec for their account. She's promising to, you know, spread their image far and wide. Richard, you'll be the new Angela, you'll be the legacy. It'll come together quite beautifully. It's Inception. She's the one who plants the idea about them going global. Why don't you guys hook up with Helios? They can put you in corners of the earth you're not even thinking about. You can be in grocery stores, you can be wherever you want. She is planning that deal. So she is fully aware because A, she's the ad exec, she knows exactly what Falconcrust is planning to do as the company Falconcrest. She also knows a little bit more about the money situation because she is with Richard. Not that he's telling her too much, but she's she's picking up what he's putting down. She also has her own do dirt people. She's also got a couple things going on back east. It's all coming together beautifully. Keep that in mind. And Angela is none the wiser. Speaking of Helios and business, one of the things I didn't forget, but it hadn't been playing as strong in my mind is that Richard and Chase are the ones who are struggling financially. Not because they don't have it, their money's sort of tied up in different places. Angela has all of the money, all of the prestige she needs to, she could probably do this deal by herself. She's mentioned it more times in a little bit that she'd be happy to buy them out. Richard and Chase, of course, aren't going for that. They have made Richard and Chase have gathered all the accoutrements they need to proceed with this deal. They put things in place, they made sure to get a manufacturer, they made sure to get larger space, they made sure to put up enough collateral. They look really good on paper, which is the whole point. I didn't realize that they still hadn't gotten approved by the bank or by the uh the other people, but this next scene sort of clears it up. So they're sitting in Angela's study, and by they I mean Falcon Crest, as in Richard, Angela, Chase, and the Manimal. Now the bank is considering all of this. They're like, okay, there's money, there's production, there's a Webster wine and storage facility. I mean, things look good. I mean, it's it looks okay. The banker feels like he needs to tell them, look, this is a hell of a risk, but if you're good with it, I guess I'm good with it. I just need to get that off my chest. You guys are taking an incredible risk. Richard hears this and he's like, Oh, I guess we can start celebrating. The banker says, not quite. We have to at least let other people bid on it just so that it looks fair. I mean, but I mean, it's it's pretty much a yes. Everyone's feeling like it's a yes. So Chase and Richard leave, and when they do the manimal and Angela get right down to business, they start having a discussion about the other bidders. Angela wants to know who is it? Who the other people? It's this soft drink company and someone else, but the soft drink company is the only bitter worth even thinking about. So Angela's like, you know what? I'm so sick and tired of dealing with these little flies. I can't wait. Get these people out of my life for good. She means Richard and Chase. So she exposes for the first time to the audience and she's like, you know what? I'm gonna bankrupt these losers. I have FU money. And what's the point of having F U money if you can't tell someone F you? The manimal's like, are you sure you want to do this if you bankrupt them? Then what are you gonna do? She's like, I'm gonna buy back their shares, obviously, take back over my kingdom and be done with this. I'm tired of playing with these kids. I'm sick of this. She would rather break Richard and Chase financially than to have this deal and be spread all over the world, which is probably good for her because it's it's as far as I know, this was supposed to go down the toilet regardless. Last season, she was forced to share with Chase. Season one, she was forced to share with Chase. She's over this ish now. She is not about to do this with these bohos not on today. Plus, she has a dinner date, so she didn't want to talk about it anymore. Angela, to my surprise, decides to go to dinner with Damon and Emma. Now, Damon and Angela are begrudgingly going to dinner for very different reasons. She's going to shut Emma up, he's going to do what his sister says, but they end up making the best of it because he is quite charming. Angela's got that old lady attitude I was telling you about. She sips a wine. It's Falcon Crest wine, by the way. She sips, smells it. She won't even drink it. She said, uh, nope, this is bad. Somebody didn't store this properly. I'm not drinking it. It's undrinkable, it's horrible. Damon immediately calls over the waiter and he says, Sir, could you please remove this? Apparently it wasn't stored properly. Could you bring us something else? The waiter got an attitude as he should. He's probably been on his feet all day, every day. He's tired of these rich nobodies trying to tell him what is and what isn't fresh and available in his restaurant. So he says, I beg your pardon. We are known worldwide, my guy, for the way we store things. Take another sip, my guy. Please do. And Damon's like, listen, I don't want no smoke, but here's the owner of Falcon Crest. You can tell her that if you want to. He's like, Oh my bad on the subject. Angela's reputation is back. She is inciting fear from waiters, small children, old people, young people. Everybody is scared of her. And you know what? That makes her feel good. Nothing makes her smile brighter than a little fear in someone. She's like, like the clown it. The more terrified you are, the better it tastes. She's like, Oh, let's eat. This is lovely. When they get home, she's like, girl, I sure do like meet some demon. She is impressed. She's like, Emma, you got a good one, boo. You did good. I like that boy. Angela and Emma are just, you know, sort of cheesing as they return to Falcon Crest. They're opening the doors, Charlie's with them. The phone rings. Angela goes to answer it. This is Angela Channing. Oh no. Oh, oh, yes. Okay. Okay, we'll be right there. It's the hospital. The hospital is calling because Lorraine has taken a turn for the worst. She needs some sort of surgery. Things are not looking good. We know that because immediately they flash over to the hospital where we see Richard and we see Lance. Doctor comes out and he's like, Oh man, oh man. This man, we'll get into this. Things aren't looking good. It's, I mean, it's not looking great at all. She's got complications. She's in a coma now. If she wakes up from the coma, she's got she's gonna have like speech problems and stuff. I don't know if she's gonna make it. So we get the point. He says it just as elementary as that. I have said more times in a little bit over the last two episodes that every time you see Precious Lorraine, she's no cast, no um, what do you call that? Like a little thing you put on your wrist. Her arm isn't taped in any way. There is no sling. There is no sling for her leg. No boot. She's simply sitting in bed talking like that kid on Malcolm in the Middle. Last episode, she seemed to be in better spirits. Now, she does look a little greasy or something, like she's not feeling well, I guess. It's hard on a soap opera because everyone's so beautiful. So, I mean, I guess she's supposed to look sick. She just looks a little bit sweaty. She's been talking for the last two episodes. Last episode, she was well enough to sit up in bed and get married. But something happened between last episode and this, and I think I know what. I truly believe the writers came in and was like, hold on, hold on, hold on. I got an idea. I know exactly what we're gonna do for the finale. Other writers are like, What are we gonna do? First things first, I think Lorraine's out of here. Do you guys agree? I think it was a unanimous decision. The acting, the last four episodes, has been abysmal. If there are 30 episodes, there's a lot of chance for redemption, but you know what? It wasn't a good sign. And I think I knew right away because when they show the rain, she had some sort of brain surgery. You know, it's always a brain issue, brain swelling, something like that, blah, blah, blah. Her head is completely wrapped in gauze this time, so it's like, okay. But she has a tube in her mouth, not a traditional tube is if you've been in the hospital. Everybody knows they kind of have to tape the hose in, and you know, that's how you're gonna breathe. You need, or a mask or something, you need a pretty big passageway for air to flow through. Y'all tell me why this girl has the tiniest little vacuum tube in her mouth. You know, when you go to the dentist and the hygienist is brushing your teeth and their sprain in a little water, and they tell you to close your mouth and a little vacuum sucks it out. She's got one of them in her mouth. So that means this girl is clenching her teeth holding this together. Oh boy, it was not looking good for Lorraine. It's one of those telltale signs. If you have an alarm system in your home or at work, if it ever goes off and nothing's wrong, the alarm system company will call you. You can either give them a code or like a code word or something. I think the signal went off at Falcon Crest in the writer's room. Like, uh, if you act poorly four or five episodes in a row, we're gonna have to do something about it. We're gonna skip around just a little bit. It does turn out that Lorraine is not she's not on the mend. She's half she's brain dead. She's brain dead. So the doctor comes back out, and it is once again, it is Richard, and it is Lance. But because Lance has married this woman, he is in charge of making any decisions. He's young and in love, he's been in jail, he's been away from her for far too long. There is zero chance that he's gonna do anything that would mean saying goodbye to her. So the doctor explains, you know, there's not a lot of brain activity. She's on this machine, and it's like he's he's telling Vance that she's brain dead and that she's on life support, and all he hears is life. He's like, Well, we can't give up on her. Richard is hearing this, and he he is looking increasingly downtrodden. He's looking quite depressed, he's looking greasy and clammy. It's all sort of hitting Richard. Richard has had no qualms with being the absolute villain this season. As a matter of fact, he's turned it up a notch he has been downright unpleasant to everyone in his life. This episode is no different. You know how he did Leather Pants Pam last time. She's talking about flying to the French Riviere and having this wonderful life. And he's like, How are you gonna do that in jail? He was petty enough to turn her in despite her working for him the entire time. And if you recall, in season three, he was flying all over the world looking for. He was in love, love. But I knew the moment Francesca walked in there swiveling her 60-year-old Italian hips, it was over him. He ain't thought about Pam since. And apparently he don't think about anybody else but his sweet little girl. Richard is a villain, there's no doubt about that. He's unscrupulous. Sort of. I mean, he seems fair when he needs to be. He was really nice to Maggie's mom. He likes he's nice to Lorraine. He has his moments, right? He has he does have a little bit of a soft underbelly, which makes him not a super villain like Angela. We'll get to her in a second. Richard has been ruthless all season. He doesn't stop on this episode. Matter of fact, he decides he hasn't ruined enough lives just yet. So at Tuscany Downs, the Manimal and Aunt Terry are smooching on the balcony like some teenagers. It is kind of annoying. And I guess Richard's hungry and ready to go home. He's like, Can you one of you come up with air, please? So you can please leave. Please leave my establishment. We're closed. As they turn to leave, the Manimal mentions that he'd really like to buy some stock in Small Virtue. He's sort of fallen in love with horse racing, blah, blah, blah. Richard decides, oh, this is a good time to be messy. And he says, you know, gosh, I sure wish I could have kept my interest in Small Virtue, but you know, it's frowned upon. Can't own a racetrack and the race horses. It's it's just not good business. The manimal's like, yeah, I see that. Richard continues. He says, I paid Melissa Buku money. And then I just gave it to Terry. Terry's the one who walked out of here at the best deal. Now she's starting to get nervous. Palms are sweaty, her butt cheeks are clenching. What the heck is this man gonna say? I thought that he had nothing else to dangle over her head. I was wrong. The manimal seems a little bit surprised that A, Terry didn't really have to pay for the horse, and B, he's like, Well, what are you what are you getting at, Richard? I feel like you want to say something. Why don't you just say it? Rich is like, I'd be pleased to. He airs Terry out. He says, Your girl got the horse for free because she was spying on you for me. Greg, the manimal, is obviously disgusted. Are you kidding me, Terry? You've been spying on me. Richard's like, yeah, how did you think I knew that you guys had moved the venue? How did I know all these little things? I knew it because your girl told me. Which is odd because he was not giving Terry the time and day at this point. How she managed to get that business is pretty impressive. But it's all aired out now. So now Terry ain't got no man. That's what he was dangling over her head when Richard went to see her on the last episode. He told the mammal that she was spying on him. Now, I I'm team Terry on this. She had, listen, this thing was gonna play out that way. Either way, she did what she needed to do, but Richard is petty. He don't like the fact that she told him to kick rocks. She wasn't gonna do her dirty work anymore. He's like, okay, cool. I'm gonna wait till you're good and happy, and then I'm going to destroy you. That's his whole MO. His villain arc is all about power. It's always about power. And the fact that he's so cold-witted, he can sleep with you one day, kick you out of bed the next day. He's done it to Belly Mel, he's done it to Pam and her leather pants. He doesn't care except when he does. His Achilles heel is none other than the lovely Lorraine who was lying in the balance between life and death as we speak in 1985. You know what I'm saying? So if you you take that little nursery rhyme song or that silly song, The Old Lady in the Fly, Richard, his fly is Lance. Lance is too dangerous, in his opinion. And he is, let's be real. Nobody's dad wants him to end up with Lance. I totally get it, but he took it too far. The truth be told, he could have let Melissa do all the dirty work and let the chips lie where they may. But he didn't. He interfered. Once Lance was arrested, he made it his personal mission to make sure that Lance went down for the larger crime. Despite the woman he almost allegedly murdered, saying, Okay, I don't think it was him. No, it makes no never mind. You're a criminal. I'm gonna make sure that you go down for this. His first swallow is his decision to manipulate the justice system. He's buying off a judge, making sure that Lance gets a larger sentence. It's a strategic move, but it sets off a chain reaction. Like the old lady, he doesn't know when to stop and ask, is this necessary? Is this sustainable? Next thing you know, he swallows the bird. The bird is escalation. He swallows a bird to catch the fly. He launches a smear campaign. He tails the rain, making sure he knows everywhere she goes so he can find lands. He's hiring P.I.s out the wazoo. He has a PI to watch his girl Cassandra. He has a PI to watch his little girl. Each move is meant to contain the fallout from the last, but instead it just sort of multiplies the chaos. He's no longer solving problems, he's feeding them. Now he's gotta swallow this cat. This is a collateral damage. He finds out that Lorraine is pregnant, he kicks her out. That sets off Maggie. Maggie is no longer going to be. Loyal to him. Also, she's really sick and tired of the way he's running this smear campaign against Lance. Pam does not like the way he is treating his daughter. She's got a soft spot for Lorraine, too. So she's making sure that all of Richard's plans to track this girl down are for nothing. They're all moot because she's not going to tell him one way or another if she sees the rain or if she doesn't see the rain. She's going to make up something every time. This is a kicker because he's so focused on Lance that he's missing Cassandra's red flags. That's the thing. He was smart enough to hire a PI. He already knows. Let me look into your background. I kind of look into everybody like that. But because he was so focused, Lance drew his attention away from everything. If you go back and watch it, there's not a moment where he's on screen. Well, there's like four moments where he's not. He's talking about Lance almost every single time. So he's missing some of the things he might have picked up with Cassandra had he had a little more focus. He's also missing Angela's maneuvers. Why is she all of a sudden okay with all this? Why is she all of a sudden cooperative? She's not that hard up for money. She could definitely buy us out. He's not thinking straight. The cat swallows a bird. Now he's gotta swallow this horse. Which brings us back to Lorraine. Lorraine's fall, Lorraine's coma, and the decision that comes next is the horse. Richard stands before Lance, listening to the doctor. He can clearly see that Lance is really in love with this girl, and he's in pain. Richard is also in pain, but he understands what the doctor is saying. So he has to put his side, his pride aside for a brief moment. Swallow his pride, if you will, and say, Lance, she's already gone. It would be cruel to continue to keep her plugged up to this machine. Lance is like, I can't. It's it's it is a little sad. I'm not gonna lie. Yes, I laughed when I saw Lorraine's.

unknown: 31:59

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01: 32:01

Lorraine stayed in her bed, but it is sad. Like they've been through so much. They couldn't enjoy their life. They could just be, they could have been happy. And Lance says as much. He's like, Richard, if you weren't so focused on me, you would be meeting your grandson in a few months. We would be celebrating like as a family, but now you're gonna lose her too. You're gonna lose everything. You lost your grandchild, you lost your daughter all because you hated me. Ooh, baby. Golly. That hit home. I'm like, dang, he's right. You were so focused on the wrong thing, now you're gonna lose it all. Lance inevitably has to make the decision. He does, unfortunately. They pull the plug, Lorraine is gone. This is Richard swallowing the final horse. This is a moment where the absurdity of the whole situation becomes a tragedy. Richard's life is collapsing all the way around him, and it's only going to get worse. Richard's a good businessman, a bad boyfriend, and an even worse dad. Despite all that, that's not even his biggest mistake. His biggest mistake is pissing off the Angela Channing. Let's go back to Mellie Male for a minute. Now, Melly Mel is sweating bricks. She's real nervous about her upcoming sentence. She could possibly go to the penitentiary. Big girl jail. She don't wonder all that. We see what happened to Julia there. Julia got beat up every other day when she went to jail. Now, I do feel like Melissa's a little more scrappy. She'd probably be okay, but nah, she's got to go to court and she does. Now, Angela has had time to sleep on this. This all happens before Lorraine passes away. Melissa's court hearing is in full session, her family being cold, and you know the Giaberdies there. In walks Angela Channing, and I guess when the door opened, because she's wearing red. Every time Angela wears red, usually it's red polka dots. She's up to no good. She got on her white gloves, white skirt, red jacket. She busts in the courtroom like it's not a court of law. Like it's um, I don't know. I don't know what I can't even think of something. Like she's cheering at a basketball game or something. Hey, judge, hey, um, I got something to say. The judge sort of looks over. She's like, considering I'm the lady who this woman tried to off, I feel like I should get to speak my mind. The judge is like, you know, you're right. Yeah, he scared her too, basically. So Angela goes up to the not even the bench. She didn't even bother to to cross the threshold. She's sitting over there where the people are in the audience. And she says, This young lady came to my home yesterday with her hat in her hand. She was humble, she was remorseful. I think she suffered enough. If I can forgive her, you should forgive her too, Judge. My grandson's out of jail, all is well. I don't see any reason to hold a grudge. She smiles at sweet smile, she smiles, which is basically like, try me if you want to. The judge says, Mm, you know what you're right. I mean, uh, nobody died. So okay, Melissa, two months in county. Everybody starts cheering. She's like, yes, yes. I think that's a good idea, too, actually. I don't know about everywhere in the United States, and I certainly don't know about other places in the world, but I do know that a lot of small towns, here's a little T. County jail is where you want to go if you need to go to jail. Now, I've never been to jail. I am speaking not from experience, but from things I have borne witness to. In a small town, which I imagine Tuscany Valley isn't super large. Melissa already knows the sheriff. She probably knows 80% of the staff at the jail. Nine times out of ten, county jail, if it is a relatively small, and I'm talking under 20,000 people in the town, nobody goes to jail every day. That jail cell is empty 90% of the time. So when they do have inmates, they treat them more like interns. I can't name any names, but I know a person who definitely went to jail. They had some charges for um for something that didn't cause anyone else any harm. There was not really a lot of property damage. It was just sort of violating the same thing over and over. They went to county. And do you know all they did is sleep in the pr in the jail at night, and then they would let them out during the day to go to work. I've seen this more times in a little bit. There was another person I went to school with. They were sort of young at the time. They had to spend, I think it was two years, in county, but I mean, we'd see them outside picking up trash and stuff. They still give you a life. So I'm saying all that to say county ain't that bad. Melissa ain't all that sad until she goes home and baby Joseph is on her lap and she's like, dang, what do we tell them? What do we tell them? Me thinking in 2025, living through the Paris Hiltons, the Kardashians, the Lindsey Lohans, the you can name a million people who've been to rehab. And plus it's California, no shade, but if you're gonna go to rehab, that they have all sorts of spas and all sorts of things. Tell them she's in rehab. Tell them she went to anger management. Tell them she went to school, she needed to finish her degree. She's like two months too. She'll call you every other night. He's also two, so I mean, he nah, who knows? Or four. I don't know how old this kid is. Four? That's irrelevant. She's worried about that. And what makes matters worse, her trifling chicken head cousin is bopping around. Robin thinks she is the cat's meow. Oh my god, how old am I? She thinks she's a fly little birdie. She's a dame with gams. She is bibbity bobbity-booing all around. Robin is getting on her nerves every day. All day, every single day. Melissa is eventually carted off to jail towards the end of the episode. And let me tell you what, her husband does not shed a tear. Neither does baby Joseph. Perhaps they're putting up a front, but the sheriff definitely comes to pick her up. She has one suitcase. She begs the sheriff not to put her in handcuffs in front of her baby. Now, I ain't never known the cops to go to your house to pick you up to give you a ride to jail. I don't know why they couldn't have just dropped her off, but I guess we needed to be dramatic. We needed to see something. Robin comes bibbidi-bobbiting out of the house, talking about. She hands Melissa some knitting stuff. She hands her some yarn and those two long needles, and Melissa's like, what the hell is this? Robin said, Well, since you're gonna be gone for eight weeks, maybe you can learn to crochet. Maybe you can learn to knit and you can have a beautiful Afghan for this baby. I bought I put blue and I put pink. And she's smiling like she's cute. I've never known a jail cell that allows you. I mean, they may let you out for work. They may let you go across the street to the Dairy Queen and get a burger if you want. I mean, yeah, that happens. I didn't know they let you have sharp contraband. Seemed like two knitting needles is the last thing you would want to give a prisoner, or excuse me, an inmate parading as an intern. But the sheriff is pretty cool with it. She's gonna seduce him. I can already tell. She's gonna seduce him and be out in like four days if she wants. Let's get back to Richard's faux pas. Richard Channing pissed off Angela Channing. That's not gonna fare well. Let's run it back to the courtroom. Angela's standing there with her red jacket looking at Melissa after the verdict has dropped. Melissa is mad, grateful. Thank you, Angela. Man, I appreciate you coming in like that. Girl, I was real, I was real nervous. I didn't think he was gonna do it. Angela's like, as you as you can see, I'm back. Bold as ever. Glad he let your little pop tart go. Melissa continues to thank her profusely. And Angela's like, you lucky you got off easy. I don't usually leave people who try to kill me breathing, but I'm gonna let you live. I'm gonna let you keep your kneecaps because I want you to see what I'm gonna do to your little friend. I'm gonna I want you to witness what I'm about to do to your friend Richard. He's up to his eyebrows, and I ain't gonna let that ish slide. I haven't forgotten nothing. I have something for Richard's ass. Melissa watches her with respect, reverence, like, okay, now I'll feel you, Angela. And you better get him before I do. I'm already going to jail, so I mean you better hope you get him before I get my hands on him. That's all I'ma say. Bad recognizes bad. Baddies recognizes baddies. Okay, now Angela is especially hateful this episode. She sat down in court as they were giving the verdict. She looked this little girl up sitting beside her up and down, just being hateful for no reason. She's got this grand plan, right? She has been patiently waiting for a track to explode on, and it's about to be her turn. If Richard is a little old lady who accidentally swallowed the fly, Angela is a little old lady who swallowed it on purpose. You see, Angela isn't Richard. She doesn't spiral, she strategizes. Every swallow is tactical. But her question is, did she swallow too much? Did she miss the poison in the bait? Angela's fly was losing soul ownership. She was trying to finagle it back from Chase at the beginning of this season. She lost her husband in a plane crash. She's pissed off at everybody. She wants what's rightfully hers. And she almost hasn't. Almost. She's got half of Falcon Crest. She's got to figure out how to get the other half. And then in walks her sister. Angela has a long-lost sister from Italy who was more than willing to be like, girl, I don't want this. I don't want no third or nothing. I'll give it to you. She was gonna do that, but then Angela pissed her off. Angela's sister ends up giving her third over to Richard. Angela swallows her fly, which is her pride in this case, because she has no choice. She plays complacent, but it's the first step in her long game. She's got vision. Next, she swallows a bird. Richard's cheap wine and Cassandra Wilder's ad agency. She really didn't see this for Falcon Crest, but it's all a means to an end. Fine. You want to put up that little crap? She knows every time Richard does something, he's spending more money. Cool, we can do that. Do you want an ad agency? I could probably use that to my advantage. I'll swallow this. I'll take one. She hates it, but she sees a bigger picture. Global expansion, a chance to be worldwide, and a chance to bankrupt this fool and get her piece of the property back. Only things keep getting bigger when the Helios deal is introduced. Now she's gotta swallow a cat. It just gets harder and harder, bigger and bigger, but she's a gangster. Angela swallows a cat. She agrees to go in on the Helios deal. She'll buy the new facilities, she'll tolerate the champagne from Chase and Cole, she'll tolerate Richard's box wine. She'll even let Cassandra do commercials for him. Yeah, sure. What the hell? Why not? She's building this illusion. She's pretending to cooperate all the while she's plotting this hostile takeover. Only Richard's foolishness invites something else into it. So now she's got to swallow the dog. That's the whole family drama. Her grandson gets framed. Judges stop taking her calls. She's got to chase this little boy up and down the West Coast, figure out where he's at. She's got to make sure he marries this little girl before they have a bastard baby. It's a lot. But it it's really big because it's not something she had planned, but she'll swallow this damn dog just so she can get to the end. She's got to get to the end of this so she can get what she gets back. And she does all this with a stiff upper lip. She's keeping it cute. She's not keeping it cute. Let me stop saying this. She's never cute. She's irritated the whole time, but she's showing up, which is the illusion of participation. Angela being snippy is the equivalent of someone else giving you a hug. So you just take what you can get. She's got to finally suck it up and just swallow the biggest one of all. In her mind, she's just she'll swallow this cow or whatever it is. Massive investments, global branding, storage upgrades. It's not about growth. It's about control, which separates a villain from a super villain. She is all about control. She's not emotionally attached to too many people. Even though she loved land, she stayed focused. She didn't let anything pass in front of her. She was not distracted. And she's betting on chasing Richard's bankruptcy so she can finally reclaim this. Enter the Helios deal. Angela's version of that story, of that lullaby or song, or whatever it's called, is she swallows her pride to gain some trust. She swallows a bird to catch the fly. She swallows a cat to catch the bird. She swallows a dog to catch the cat. And she swallows a cow to catch the dog, thinking that's the last one. She got big beef. She wants to go out with a man. Only she doesn't realize there's one more animal left. The wild horse. Cassandra. Cassandra has been busy. Cassandra's got her own little bird song to do. Cassandra's dood dude broke and entered into Angela's home so that he could secure the bid. That's the only part of the puzzle that Cassandra didn't have. She didn't know how much money Falconcrest was putting up. She knew it was substantial, but she needed to know the exact number so that she can take it to the soft drink company so that they can outbid Falconcrest. Oddly enough, Cassandra and Angela are actually on the same page, but for different reasons. Just like Damon and Angela went to dinner together for different reasons. Cassandra and Angela want the soft drink company to win for very, very different reasons. Angela doesn't see Cassandra coming. So Cassandra visits the, let's just call him Pepsi. She visits a Pepsi-like dude. He doesn't stand a chance. She asked him how the Helios deal is going. He's like, Oh, I mean, Falcon Crush is gonna win. They they all but told us it's gonna be Falcon Crest. I can't outbid her because I don't know what she's got up. Cassandra's like, oh, I got something for you. She presents him with all of the papers that is the bid, that all the money that Chase and then put together. It's everything. It is wrapped in a bow. It is his future secured. And he's like, Wow, this is awesome. Why'd you do this? I don't know, I just did it, you know, just take it. So he's all too happy to do it. Unbeknownst to him, Angela Channing has the exact same thing in mind. So Angela leaves the courthouse after Melissa's trial and she goes straight to his office. Now he's terrified when she comes in. He's like, Angela, uh, what a wonderful day. It's so nice. And she's like, Listen, we ain't never had a pleasant meeting. This one ain't gonna be pleasant either. Listen here, little boy. I need you to do me a favor. She hands him paperwork. He thinks it's a cease and desist or that she's fixing to sue him or something because she's always gone at his throat. To his surprise, when he opens it, it is her bed. So he's looking, it's really funny. The look on his face is like, uh, am I being punked? Is this America's? What is what's going on here? He doesn't tell her that Cassandra's come. He didn't say anything. Because at this point, I gotta think of it like him. If two people who you don't even know are connected in any way show up with the same information, you do sort of want to proceed with caution. You just sort of sit back and be quiet to see whatever, see what she's gonna tell you. She says, I want you to get the winning bid. He's shocked. Uh, okay. Why? She puts it to him. She has a whole villains monologue, like the movie The Incredibles. I have two pain in the butts. I don't want to be partners with them anymore. If you outbid us, they're gonna go bankrupt. I'm gonna remain rich, rich. Matter of fact, I'm so rich, I'm just gonna buy up their portion and have my company back. That's exactly what I'm doing. I'm not even gonna pretend. I'm so exhausted pretending to be compliant. That's what I'm gonna do. So make sure you outbid us, okay? Okay, bye-bye. And he's like, okay, well, damn. We'll do. See you later, Angela. Well, I don't know if it was her idea or if it was Richard's idea. I don't recall, and it's not that important. We just gotta detour just one more time, real quick. Let me tell you about Connie Giannini. Connie is minding her business in her little catch-all room, slash office, slash break room, whatever. She's sipping wine because oh my god, I just realized she has she's paid to sip wine and champagne all day. So maybe she was a little bit drunk when she went to go visit Maggie on the last episode and announced that she was in love with her husband. Maggie told Chase about it when they were having a small little tiff. So I suppose he just wants to see if that really happened. Now mind you, he knows good and well. Connie already told him to his face what was up. But he was just irresistible. And he's like, Oh my god, I know. I know, I know, I know. I'm so sorry. So on this episode, for some reason, he shows up, Connie's sipping her wine, and he said, Maggie told me that you made some remark about falling in love with me. She goes, Oh my god, I'm so sorry. That was just that was really what's the word she uses. That was really clumsy of me. But then he says, Well, this can't continue. I guess she's thinking he's firing her. And he's like, No, no, no. He means something else, she means something else. He goes, No, no, no, I'm not firing you. You're just a fine woman, you're wonderful, fine as a not like, oh, you fine, fine, but like you're fine, like 60s, fine, whatever that means. You're good, you're solid. He's like, I don't want you to leave or anything. I just we just gotta I just can't afford. And he's like stutter stepping. I and as he's saying this, I finally really, really look at his face. I even had to rewind a little bit. I'm like, what the hell? What? Why? So he's all but like, ah, I guess because she confessed. So now he knows it's real. Like it's one thing to tell me you think I'm hot. It's quite another to drive all the way to San Francisco and tell my wife at work that you are in love with me. That's totally different. So maybe he just didn't have the language to tell her that was awkward and please don't do it again. But he's just like, I just can't afford, I just can't afford it. She's like, You can't afford what? He turns around and he leaves. Back to Helios. It was either Angela's idea or it was Richard's idea to have this party that is a premature celebration of the Helios deal. The banker at the top of the show told them that he would call them at 9 p.m. that Friday on the dot, not 9 a.m., 9 p.m. I guess giving everybody a full, you know, equal amount of time to call in and make the proper bid. So Falconcrest is having a party, Falconcrest being Angela's house. Cole Giaberdi is on his way. This is before Melissa goes to jail. Cole is dressed in his little penguin suit, and Melissa is pissed because she didn't get invited. She didn't get invited, neither did Robin, but here comes Robin down the stairs in Melissa's dress. A little sweetheart neckline floral number. It's cute. Melissa said, I know you line up. Are you wearing my clothes? She's pissed. Robin's like, yeah, I figured Cole would want a date and you weren't invited. She's trying to rub it in her face. She's like, well, yeah, Angela don't like hoes in her house, so you ain't invited either. Melissa wants to fight again. As far as she's concerned, Robin may be pregnant. She's not pregnant in her face. So she goes to take game, and Cole's like, hey, calm down, calm down. Robin, you shouldn't be bopping about in your condition. Robin says, For why? Uh duh, I'm not gonna let a baby cramp my lifestyle. That's what I know. Baby, one baby don't stop no show. One baby don't stop no hoe. I'm gonna go to this party and have me a good time. Robin's like, why would I give up partying for this fetus? Cole says, get upstairs. You are not going to this party. Get upstairs and just state that baby. Robin goes upstairs. Melissa is pissed. She's like, she has got to leave. Cole, get her out of my house. I can't stand looking at her. Every time I look at her, I think of you two together. He's way too comfortable for me. And he keeps telling her, Melissa, this was your idea to have this baby. It wasn't mine's your idea. Sir, that's not the point. She's clearly trouble. He doesn't care. He's like, I mean, it is what it is. We're gonna have to ride this out. It's only nine months. I'll be back in a couple of hours. He heads over to Falcon Crest. Now the party is absolutely stunning. With watching over 200 shows at this point, and I'm only on season four. Hold on, let me do that math again. Yeah, it's over 200 episodes of Primetime Vintage Hope Operade. I like rich 80s clothes. I and it hurts, God, it hurts my chest to say this. Man. They know how to dress. And this party is no different. My girl Maggie, whoever is the stylist this season, is I mean, I swear to you, they don't miss. She's got on this beautiful red number. It's just it's 80s. It's got the shoulder pads, long sleeve. It's beautiful though. It there's nothing offensive about it. It is so dope. It is so gorgeous. Angela looks beautiful in this, you know, she's wearing a mother dress. She's definitely somebody's mama, somebody's grandmama. But it's sort of a oh god, a super light pink. Gorgeous. Everybody looks great. Richard looks rough. So he shows up to the party. Cassandra comes through and she's got a real cute dress on, too. But as Richard enters the party, Chow Lee allows him in, or he walks over to him with some champagne. And Chow Lee is not in the mood. Cho Lee has had a long season. He's been dealing with the whole lot. Lance is destroyed. You know, Lance is like his kid. That's his, he's he's raised Lance just like Angela has. So he feels away. You run a foul of Lance, you run a foul of him. You know, he loves him. He sent him over with his nephews. Lorraine is not dead. She's she's definitely in the coma. Like everybody knows that she's not doing well. So people are genuinely surprised that Richard is at the party for that reason. They're like, you should probably be in the hospital with her. He wants to hear the good news. He needs a little good news. But Chow Lee has time today. Chow Lee says, in the calmest voice he can muster, I know all of the hearts and minds in this party are on the rain, and we all hope she's okay. Everybody here is gonna be cool to you because of that, but not me. I need you to know that I hate you. I hate your stinking guts for what you put Lance through, and you deserve whatever fate awaits you. He says it a little more classy than I am, but the fact that he says it at all is already unnerving because he don't really say a lot. And the fact that he said it so calmly leads me to believe that it is absolutely up for Richard. If someone calmly tells you they're gonna destroy you, believe them. They calmly tell you, I'm gonna beat you down. It's gonna happen. They've moved past the point of screaming at you. All it is is raw focus. That's terrifying. Well, anyway, Cassandra comes over. Now, mind you, Cassandra already knows they're not gonna get this deal. She does have on a more 80s-ish dress. It's like it's a white, sleeveless dress, sort of roughed in the middle. Not quite a sweetheart neckline, but it's it's the you know, it's over your boobs, so it's boob shaped. And then the bottom is black, and then just got like this sort of chain thing that goes down the middle of the dress. It's cute too. I don't like it as much, and I don't know why I'm relieved. It's still it's very, very 80s. Like you wouldn't put it on today, but she looks great, and she comes over to, you know, oh, I'm sorry, Richard. Dang, woo, woo, woo. And you can tell that she's start, she sort of feels bad. Damon had mentioned earlier, like, why are all these other people catching strays? And she's like, I'm sorry, they're the ones who got in bed with Angela. Unfortunately, this is the price you pay for doing a deal with the devil, but you can tell she don't feel like a hundred percent great about it. Her claws are out all this episode, except when she talks to Richard. She's she's much more sort of open. And the fact that he looks just devastated. This you don't kick somebody when they're down. This is not the time to gloat. Plus, she already knows he's about to lose all this money anyway. Terry is there and she has put away the pageant hair for tonight. Thank god. Her dress is killer. It's not gold. I'm very shocked to see her in black and silver. She's just trying to be supportive or whatever. I don't really know why she's there. I guess because she's rich and it's on her agenda. She needed something to do. The manimal goes over to do nothing but rubber nose in it. I shouldn't have never trusted you. I had my doubts. Go away. Fly away, morph into something more important or a cockroach so I can step on you. Get out of her face. I don't generally take up for Terry, but damn it, I'm sick of this. If she's here next season, I hope she gains some sort of self-esteem. And God, I hope she she dates like a renegade. She needs somebody on a motorcycle, she needs somebody fun to hell with the stuffy, vaguely British person, lawyer. Can't stand him sometimes. To hell with them animal. Anyway, that's not important. Angie has an announcement to make. Big perm has waffed her hair perfectly. She's got on this gorgeous pink number with the sequins on the shoulder. It is very like powerful and feminine. It's soft. So you don't know what she's about to say, but she's smiling. You should always be nervous. If she's wearing red or if she's smiling a little too hard, you already know something's up. So she's raising a toast and she says, This is to the Helios deal. May the results be most satisfying. A very vague toast. Well, right about that time, the phone rings. Angela says, Chase, Chase, my dear, why don't you do the honors? He walks his gorgeous pine over there. He picks up the phone and he's like, Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay. All right. Uh-huh. Hangs up. He took it so well, I thought the deal had gone through. I thought she was gonna flip her lid and kick everybody out because it went bad. Nah, nah, nah, nah. Chase turns around and he says very calmly, we didn't get the deal. Richard also says very calmly, Oh no, I'm bankrupt. I don't know why everybody's so chill. Maybe there's some sort of weird gas inside of her house. Everybody is taking everything extremely well. Richard's bankrupt. Chase is pissed. He snatches his boo thing out and they leave. Maggie, come on. Come on in that red dress. Let's go. I forgot to mention that Connie looks like Big Bird. I do not like her ensemble. It reminds me of a lady I used to sit by in church when I was really little. Our church would travel around to different places. And I was sitting by this old lady one time and she had this big yellow hat, big yellow dress, and she sneezed, and her dentures have like popped out, and they was kind of hanging over top of her lip. It freaked me out. I don't think I understood what dentures were at that time. I was thoroughly freaked out. I was sort of pressed up against her, so I couldn't really move. It was horrible. Connie's dress reminds me of that. As soon as everybody leaves, Angela is elated. She can't even like hide her smile behind her wine. She's like, oh my God. Mammals get to work. She wastes no time. She says, Find out who holds Chase and Richard's note. I'm gonna evict Chase and Maggie from that mausoleum they call a house. The mammal reminds her, look, you can't. I know you're happy, but you can't kick him out because he inherited that house fair and square. And she's like, Okay, yeah. I forgot he was family for him and I forgot. Damn. All right, fine. He can keep the house. I can tolerate him as a neighbor. But Tuscany Downs, she's like, she's gonna repo Richard's house. Tuscany Downs, she's gonna give it to the Boy Scouts so they can have their annual jamboree. She don't even care. She's being mad, reckless. Meanwhile, Chase is in his mausoleum of a castle house and he's angry. He's telling Maggie, how How how this is BS. This is ridiculous. He's sick of them. Angela and Richard have been nothing but nasty to him from the time they met him. He ain't done nothing to nobody. All he did was be born. That's all he did. I'm born. I inherited some stuff. I came back here. I work it ain't like I stole it. She just can't accept me and I can't stand Richard. He's sick of it. He feels like this was a setup from them, Gidea. They knew he had the least amount of money, so he's taking it extra personal because you know he's he's always trying to establish his name. He's mad now. He's not mad, he's angry, which is scarier. I forgot to mention he has undone at least one, two, three, four, four of his buttons. I would tell you what, if Mr. Foxworth ain't gonna do nothing else, he's gonna show you the chest hair. He's gonna make sure you see it. So he's just like, I'm so tired, Maggie. I know they were behind it. I know they were. I'm tired of playing nice, I'm tired of rolling over, I'm tired of playing games with them. It's time to fight back, baby. She don't know what he's talking about. He's like, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do it, Maggie. I'm gonna finish this once and for all. Once and for all. Now I don't know what he means by that. It's Chase. He's probably just gonna give a speech. I can't imagine what he would do. Luckily, he didn't have to think about it for too long. We'll get to that in a bit. We gotta talk about something a little more tender, a little more loving, a little more beautiful. The Damon and Emma, I almost call her Envy. The Damon and Envy Emma saga. I'd like to remind you one more time that this is a finale, so you should expect some departures. It would appear that Lorraine is gone. It would appear that Melissa is going to jail, technically gone. Damon. Damon wants to leave as well. He can't stomach what's about to happen next. The Helio steel has fallen through. The plan is set in motion. He already knows what's up, and the last thing he wants to do is hurt Emma. He takes her to Tuscany Downs. And you know, she's so understanding. They really do have a connection. He tells her he loves her, he cares about her. And no matter what happens, I need you to know I love you. I'm going away for a little bit, but just know that I really do care for you. He didn't have the guts. I don't want to say he didn't have the guts. He stopped agreeing with this at the top of the episode. It's hard. Emma really can't catch a break. She can't seem to find a good man, but it's alright. He's going to space. That's what's happening. He is going to the SS Enterprise. He's gonna be in space for a very long time. I don't think he's coming back. I haven't actually looked at Star Trek, but I feel like that was the 90s. Oh, maybe he's coming back. Maybe. Because this is what, 1985? Maybe he comes back. I don't know. I'm afraid to look. Anyway, I suppose in his mind, this is what he has to do. This is his unfortunate means to an end. He's swallowing the love, the urge to tell her what's going on, the urge to kind of steal her away. He just basically tells her to be strong. And I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. The losses are really stacking up at this point. Richard has lost a child, a grandchild, a business, probably his house. He's about to lose his horse racing business. He already doesn't have any friends. This man fought tooth and nail and got nothing. Climbed to the top of a two-foot ladder. Nothing left to show. Angela's riding high because she's like, Yeah, I had to swallow a lot of crap, but guess what? I'm about to be on top, baby. Let me buy up all this land, let me do what I need to do. Free at last, free at last. These people are gone to my life. Oh, it feels good. Only she done realize there's one more old lady who started swallowing flies a long time ago. So Angela is at her home chilling. I'm like Richard. She knows exactly why she swallowed the fly. But is her vision really that clear? Although she's more tactile and more focused, she missed something really major. Richard and Chase had to borrow money to gain capital, I guess. I might be saying that incorrectly. They had to borrow to get the capital to buy their way into the Helios deal. Even though that deal fell through, they still owe that money to all their creditors. The creditors are not interested in selling to Angela, only she didn't know that. She doesn't know that the creditors would much rather have her head on a platter. Angela missed that Cassandra Wilder looked familiar. She noticed her, but she didn't note it. She overlooked it, which is very much unlike her. If she'd listened to her gut, she might have saved herself a very unpleasant visit. She and in the study when in walks Cassandra, a woman draped in black with a beautiful face card. Matter of fact, side note before we get into it, this woman looks just like Afton on Dallas, except older. Beautiful face. She walks in, Angela looks subtle. Now she didn't recognize Cassandra, but she definitely recognizes Anna. If she had remembered and listened to her gut and noted that Cassandra seemed familiar, she might have remembered that there used to be a child in Tuscany Valley named Cassandra. A child who had a mother named Anna and a father and a little brother. That little girl's father refused to sell Angela his vineyard years and years ago. Angela decided, the exact same many years ago, to shut off the water supply to that man's vineyard. She literally dammed up the reservoir. Can you think of a more supervillain move? She already drives a Gotham City car. You're poisoning the waterhole, you're stealing water. I can't think of a more villain thing to do. All she needs is like a laser on top of her house pointed at the next vineyard. Anyway, Anna is recounting this. She's like, Yeah, you shut off the water supply to that vineyard, which resulted in a loss of all of our crops, all of our grapes, all of our livelihood. Now the man who refused to sell to Angela was Anna's husband. Anna's husband got really, really drunk one night, I guess, over the stored wine that was properly stored. And he decides he'll be damned if Angela Channing gets every piece of his property. So he comes up with this clever idea. He's gonna just burn it to the ground. No problem because his whole family's out of town. He could just do it, but that's not the case. In his drunken stupor, he forgot that his family wasn't out of town, they were in bed. So he strikes a match, he lights a house aflame. Before you know it, he hears two small children screaming. He immediately freaks out. He goes to try to save the children, and he dies. At this point in the story, Cassandra chimes in. I watch my father burn to death. Angela's listening, this like, well, damn. I mean, I mean, it sucks to suck, but okay, which what is she doing here? Okay, and then and then's little song. Anna swallow the fly. Her fly was pain. She then raised two children to grow up to be bright and business savvy. They opened their own ad agency and became really successful. They contacted Richard Channing, the one-third owner of Falconcrest. They pitched an ad campaign to Falconcrest, including the other partners, Chase and Angela. They win the campaign and then they introduce a second deal with Helios, a huge conglomerate that is gonna take Falconcrest to the next level. Only Cassandra never wanted her client to succeed. They banked on bankrupting Falconcrest from the Gidea, purchasing it from Angela and leaving her destitute. Cassandra proudly announces to Angela that she is now two-thirds owner of Falconcrest, and me and my mama are gonna make you crazy. My brother, Damon Ross, aka Damien Rossini, which is their government name. Amen. The family name. He couldn't be here. But yeah, that's who it is. Ta-da, Angela. We okay dote you, and me and my mama are gonna make you miserable. We're gonna run your life into the ground. We're gonna make it hell in your life. Bum boom bum. Angela's sitting there, like, well damn. I smiled at like three people today. This is terrible. You know what? They might make it hard for her for a little bit, but if we don't know nothing else, I know Angela is that chick. I know she's a gangster. I know I'm not worried about it. I am highly entertained, but I am not worried about it. I also wasn't worried about what came next. Go on to fill up your drink again, y'all. This this is the best part. This is the absolute best part. Last episode, when Melissa met Richard in the park to try to get him to help her out, and he was like, I don't know who we is. She tried to seduce him. I made the comment that you can't seduce a man in pastels. You can't seduce a man in butter yellow clothing. Damn, I was wrong. You can seduce a man in butter yellow clothing as long as you strategically cut cleavage-bearing parts of it. You gotta be real clever with it. I.e. Connie Giannini. So Connie Giannini is back in her faux office. It seems like it's the middle of the day. Maybe it's the evening. I don't really know. She's always there. She ain't got no life, she's never home. All she does is sip wine all day and wait for Chase to show up. This is the first time she's ever dressed sexy. Okay. Grandma look at the party. I'm not just hating. It just wasn't a cute dress. It really wasn't. But today she's like, I'm gonna keep the yellow color wing, but I'm gonna make it sexy. So she's wearing a shoulder-less, backless, cleavage boostier, boop-boop-poopy thing with sort of a very cool geometric neckline that shows the boobs, but it's also like classy enough to wear to work. She's wearing a little jacket over it because I mean, you know, you can't show it all at once. She says, Chase, I got an idea. I know you're going through it. I know you're upset right now, but I have a brilliant idea. We're great partners. Why don't you come over to Giannini Wines? And he's like, What? She's drawn up a contract. You and I could be 50-50 partners. You know, you're you're a winemaker. You're a vignette. What do you call them? A vineyard, the vignettes, a vineyard of the you're a winemaker, man. Be a winemaker. It's in your blood. And he's like, Well, I mean, Connie, honest to God, this is right on time. I can't really say no. Let me have my lawyer look over it, but I mean, I do need some money. He's like, Yeah. You already know what you're doing. I don't know how to make wine. You don't know how to make champagne. We might as well do the same thing, but just do it in my house. He's like, okay, cool. This was up. He's dead. He's had a rough night. He's like, Connie, I just I don't know how to thank you. That's her cue. I just went back again. Maybe I was a little you can see all the cleavage. There's nothing subtle here. Nothing. It's a halter neck. So it's super thin strapped. She's wearing this black jacket over it. Sitting in front of that giant IBM. Giant 600-pound computer with a tiny, tiny screen. Connie, I don't know how I could think. She says, Well, you better think of something. And fast. Now he looks hesitant. And then she leans in, she starts kissing, she starts running her fingers through his hair. He doesn't back up. As a matter of fact, he embraces it. He's running his hands all up and down her backless dress back. He wanted it. In a turn of events, I don't know why I didn't see this coming. I did not see this coming. He was not interested. And this is this is Chase Gioverdi. This didn't one of the other dudes on the other shows. He has never strayed, and neither one of them ever looked at nobody else. Not really. Maggie almost had an affair with that one dude, but she was like, oh, he was lame. Plus, look what she has at home. You know what I'm saying? No. Chase is running his hands up and down her back, letting her ruin his coff with her hands. Oh Lord. I was, I, I, the gasp, I gust, I couldn't even believe it. I can't even believe I'm telling you now. I can't believe this happened. You know what else happened? Maggie Giaberdi just happened to be in town that day. She comes through with this ice gray, ice blue number, opens the door, and all she sees is her man's hand stroking up and down Connie Giannini's hoeish back. Maggie being Maggie. She doesn't turn up. God, if that was Melissa, there would have been bottles flying all across the room. But Maggie Gia Bernie damn near politely waits. And then she says, I'd like to talk to my husband. Connie turns all with her mouth all open. Now, this is the thing that gets me. I don't understand why Connie turned heel all of a sudden. There was no reason to come at Maggie like that. All of a sudden, she just got, I guess she felt like Angela gave her permission last last time. Okay, Maggie, I want your man. Maggie didn't take her seriously. She kind of did. I could tell she wanted to pop her in the face, but she didn't. So Connie sachets out. She slings the jacket over her shoulder. She does hit Maggie. It's ridiculous. Here's the other part. So they've been building, you know, she's working a lot. He doesn't like it, but he never seemed like it really bothered him that much until last week where he couldn't get the cookie. It's annoying, but it's not like, oh my god, our marriage is in trouble. I just wouldn't buy that. This is my fault. This is me. This is a jet mistake. I wasn't taking it seriously. So when Connie made the moves, I was shocked. I kind of thought Connie wouldn't be on this episode, honestly. Anyway, back to Maggie. Maggie tells Chase, I'm gonna have my teams collected and gone by the time you get to that mausoleum of a castle house. I don't have anything more to do with you or your house or this business. You can tell she's been sitting on that for a long time. You wouldn't think a one, like this is a one-off. You know what I'm saying? Y'all been married 20 plus years. This is a one-off. That reaction, okay, yes, you were free to have whatever reaction. It's not wrong, but to be like, I can't stand you, I can't stand your business, I can't stand your house. Where'd this come from? Do you know what Chase says? He don't apologize, he doesn't, oh baby, please, baby, baby, no, baby, please. No. He says, Well, fine. She tells him you can keep your vineyards and your conniving little girlfriend, and don't you dare come near me. You know my office number. Have your attorney call mine. He gets fish. As she leaves, he runs over. Well, that's fine. That's fine. Then he goes off. You start to see where Cole gets that terrible attitude from. Y'all, he tears this office up. He's flipping things around. He's punching bottles off the wall, slinging empty barrels, flips the desk over with that 300-pound computer, which is very impressive. And there's the first little explosion. It blows up. It's like, oh, that's awesome. I feel like that was a delightful little treat. It gets better. It gets better. So, Chase, so Chase and Maggie are on the out. She can't believe he was filling up this hussy with her side boob all out. It was horrible. And he liked it. He wanted it. Maggie's a money-making woman. Now she's just got to get her mind together. She's got to leave. By this point, everybody knows about Lorraine. Maggie's at Falcon Crest. She can't very well go to Cole because I'm sure Cole would come over there and find his father. I know he would. He don't play about his mama. She doesn't like Angela like that. She likes Emma, but she ain't trying to go over there. She ain't trying to do that. She goes to the only place she can. Her friend Richard. Now they had developed a good relationship all this season. They bonded over being adopted. He hired her at the station. He gave her carte blanche. She could do whatever she wanted at the station because he believed in her. They were cool. The only out they had was Lorraine and Lance thing. But you know what? With Lorraine being gone, it's time to not be petty. Let's go over there. Let me tell them I'm so sorry to hear about her. The only problem with this, y'all, remember last episode? There were no less than three threats made on Richard's life, and somebody's making good on it this episode. In true Falcon Crest style, a la season, was that two? End of season one, season two. We have a glove culprit walking all the way through Richard's house, touching all sorts of things. Now he's upstairs. He's in duress. He doesn't understand that there's somebody downstairs. Somebody is touching all sorts of stuff. Specifically, this really 80s grandfather clock on the wall. I guess it's not a grandfather clock if it's on the wall. A clock with a chime on the wall. Gloved hand touching every little thing. Eventually, Richard hears something. So he goes downstairs, and right about the time he goes downstairs, he hears a rat-a-tat-tat at the door. It's Maggie. Maggie is crying. You know, Lorraine just died. But he sees her face and they're friends enough to know he's like, I mean, she wouldn't be crying as hard over Lorraine dying. Nobody cries over dead people on the show. She was zoned out at the last funeral she was at. There was a triple funeral at the beginning of this season. She didn't cry like that. So he's like, honey, these tears can't all be from Lorraine. What's going on? She just sort of melts into his arm. Oh Richard, oh Richard, I just, I just, and do you know? Do you know? I can't even say it out loud. Richard starts caressing her for the first time. This is the first time I ever got that vibe. I was like, oh my God. Oh my God. No. Oh my God. Is this happening? It happened. Richard and Maggie. Passionate kiss. Oh my god. It's it's crazy. Deep passionate. I'm like, that would have triggered it. Maybe. I mean, okay, in all honesty, he's having a rough day. She's having a rough day. It's just, it's, you know. But unbeknownst to them, that clock has been set with a little more than a tick, tick, tick. There's a tick, tick, boom. So while they're in the throes of this passionate surprise kiss, tell me why the whole house blows up. Boom. End scene. True Falcon Crust. I was fully expecting an explosion. I didn't really know how it was going to happen. I didn't really think about it being Richard's house. And I'm so silly. The first time I saw it, I've watched it twice. I'd had to run it back. I thought a bridge blew up. And then I looked again and I was like, no, that's his super sleek, super chic, very 80s modern house. Blown to bits and pieces while he's caressing Maggie Pooh in his arms, his brother's wife. But you know what? They're not brothers like that. So Lord have mercy. What a betrayal. Do you know the worst betrayal? The worst betrayal in all of this is me. I kind of like Maggie and Richard together.

SPEAKER_00: 1:19:16

I listen, I didn't, I didn't know it was coming. I didn't know that was coming. I I I like I don't know if they like their kiss. I like their kiss. I feel very bad, but I I like their kiss. I like it.

SPEAKER_01: 1:19:33

Tens across the board. I enjoy that top to bottom. Good little surprises. Did not see that coming. A lot of that is just me not acknowledging that there was something. They've never cheated, you know what I mean? They've never even gotten close, really, before to cheating on each other. So why would it happen to? I'm telling y'all, they both kids. He had his hands all in her hair. She she up on her tippy toes. Girl, I'm gonna tell you what, they was gonna go upstairs. That's what they was finna do. Unfortunately, the stairs are, or fortunately, however you look at it, the stairs are gone. And quite possibly them. I don't know why I didn't even I'm just not realizing that. So I guess if the contracts are cool next season, they'll be back. I'm not worried like a normal person would if you've never seen this before. I'm not worried because they survived a plane crash. They've done more with less. I'm sure somehow he had some sort of plate in his. I don't know. I don't think they're gone. And if not, uh is Connie what the hell? I don't know. All right, guys, that's it. That's all. We gotta get ready for the next episode. I think we're gonna jump into Dynasty next and save Knott's Landing for last. I want to do all four of season, excuse me, all three of season four's finales, and then we'll jump into Knott's Landing. Truth be told, I think Knott's Landing might make me cry. That show makes me very emotional. I'm positive I'm not gonna shed a tear from Dynasty. All right, y'all. In the meantime, in between time, don't swallow more than you can handle. Only make necessary moves, leave a little space, and for God's sakes, don't piss off six people in a row. Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business, and keep all of your drama on TV.