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S5 EP1 Dallas : The Missing Heir - The "Splish, Splash, Days Of Wrath "Episode

• Jett Shae • Episode 319

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Bright lights, sirens, and a glassy pool set the stage for a season opener that wastes no time: Kristen’s body is found at Southfork, and the blame ricochets between JR and Cliff before the sun is up. I take you through the minute-by-minute chaos—the broken balcony, the bourbon, the finger-pointing—then pull the camera back to the moves that matter: strategy, custody, and reputation. We travel from Dallas to Abilene and onward to Southern Cross, where Sue Ellen plants her flag and draws a bold boundary around John Ross. The showdown on that sweeping, terracotta-topped ranch reframes the fight: this isn’t only about love or law, it’s about who gets to define “fit,” “safe,” and “home.” JR counters with a hard-nosed attorney and a character case; Sue Ellen counters with presence, purpose, and a new kind of power. Meanwhile, the DA revives a buried truth—Kristen’s past confession to shooting JR—that stains every alibi and turns motive into a mirror. Along the edges, the episode digs into money and identity. Lucy and Mitch wrestle with class and pride, proving that affection can buckle under lifestyle. Donna and Ray spar over a $3 million decision and what “our money” actually means, testing trust without throwing love away. I also weave in choice behind-the-scenes lore—Dynasty’s ratings ascendancy, network nights, and the surprising early-life connections among TV icons—that enrich how we read the stakes on screen .By the final beat, Dallas feels both bigger and tighter: a murder mystery, a custody conflict with teeth, and a family machine humming without two of its most familiar gears. If you love high-stakes melodrama with brains, you’ll find plenty to savor here—glamour, grit, and just enough scandal to argue about all week. Hit play, subscribe for the next pull from the bag, and tell me: whose case are you buying—JR’s leverage or Sue Ellen’s line in the sand?

SPEAKER_01:

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome or welcome back to Snowflore, the official gathering place for new lead novices and OG Diehard fans of the Golden Age of Time. I'm your host, Jeff, viewing and reviewing this token that's the top storyline of the A so far. So whether you're new to this or true to this, it's actually enjoy it till it's gonna be fun to play outside or outside. 25 to 45 minutes, I don't know what you're talking about. I need the waiting dog and go. Hello, Gorgos. Welcome and welcome back to another fun filled edition of Soapboard. I say that with my whole test because I am beyond excited. We've made it through seasons one, two, and three of Knotts Landing, Dallas Dynasty, and Falcon Crest, and four of the last three I just mentioned. We are embarking on a brand new season, a fresh start, if you will, for primetime soap operay. Vintage Primetime Soap Opery, I guess I should say. What's up, everybody? I hope your day is shaping up well. Mine is, as you can tell, I'm excited. I'm actually elated. I've waited long enough. I could not wait to press play. And y'all got me hype. We got some interesting tidbits in the fan mail. Go ahead and pour yourself up something bubbly and bright. I'm working on this last little bit of my non-alcoholic beverages. I tell you what, it really be your own people. I don't know who's sipping on my non-alcoholic. I know exactly who's sipping on my non-alcoholic. I'm down to the last couple gulps, but that's okay. I got a fresh bottle in the fridge, and I get the feeling it's gonna be an interesting day. So go ahead, grab yourself something, bubbly and bright, and we're gonna find out what I'm watching today. I really have no idea. I put all the names in a little bag. I'm gonna pull them out and we're gonna decide together what to watch. Okay. Pardon the noise. I had to improvise. I have a bag of gummy bears someone had open and didn't throw away. No biggie. I have all four shows in here. Let's see what we get. Alright. Looks like we got Dallas coming up first. I'm not even tripping. I'm actually really excited I'm excited. It didn't really matter which one they said at this point. At the end of season four for Dynasty Dallas and Falcon Crest. Falcon Crest had blued up two of the main characters. I gotta see if they're in bits and pieces or if they magically escaped. I actually I can't wait to figure out. I can't wait to hear how they do or don't escape that. Dynasty, we have my girl locked up in jail and her fine duels and her couture gown. I know Dex Dexter is not gonna leave her in jail too long, but we gotta figure out what happened to Fallon. That is the weirdest thing ever to have a headache only induced by bridal wear and the marriage of a man you can't really stand. It's crazy that it would give you a migraine so terrifying that you would have to flee under the cloak of darkness and sheaths of rain in a getaway car blindly in the dark. That's okay. I would love to see how that that made it past a writing table, but we're here for it. And of course, Dallas got somebody in the pool floating face down. I've watched enough CSI to know that it probably isn't a great idea to jump into the pool and touch the body because now his fingers well, I guess his fingerprints wouldn't. You know what? We're gonna find out together. I want to thank you guys for your incredible support, your wisdom, your opinions, your generosity with sharing these shows that you love has been so enjoyable for me. And I'm so glad you're on this ride. I'm just pumped. I'm on season five. Season five and four of Knotts Landing, which of course ended with my girl Valen fleeing the scene of a terrible marriage. Ooh, yeah. Like I said, it didn't really matter which one I picked, I'm pumped for all of them. And I think I'm gonna go ahead and try to watch them all. But before we get into all of that, I want to read some of the fan mail slash tea that you guys have supplied me with. And don't worry, if you don't hear yours, I promise I'll get to it. This just sort of fits today. Actually, hold on, I'm getting confused here. Yeah, this happens to fit for Dallas, so I think it was meant to be. Plus, I have a movie on deck that I'm gonna watch at some point today, I think. Says it leaves prime in 16 days, so you don't have much time to watch it, but we'll get to that. Okay, one of my YouTube friends says season five of Dynasty will be the number one TV show of the 1984-1985 season. That season for Dynasty will be unique in quotation marks. First of all, I cannot tell you how okay the word excited will be used 400 times this episode. If you're playing a drinking game, do not use the word excited, you will be schnockered in the next 20 minutes. But based on season four of Dynasty, I am not surprised. I'm not surprised in the least that it would be well, let me be clear. I'm not surprised that it's a unique season. I'll say that. I'm not surprised that it's going to be unique. Am I surprised that it's number one? Not really. I could really see there being this sort of push and pull between Dynasty and Dallas a lot of the times, especially if they are not necessarily neck and neck, but Dallas would have already been a Titan by this point. Dynasty's got its C legs now, they know what they're doing. I could I could 100% see that or Not S Landing sort of going head to head. Not that I don't think Falcon Crest could hang with them because they definitely can't. I just don't know if they have the same fan base. Plus, I think if I remember looking this up correctly, Dynasty was on ABC while the others were on, was it on CBS? It has to be right. CBS. I remember thinking none of these shows were on NBC, and I was kind of surprised by that. Yeah. At some point I looked it up, and it says that Friday nights were Dallas, Falcon Crest, Knott's Landing, all on CBS. Which seems weird to me because that means Dallas would come on at 7, Falcon Crust at 8, and then Knott's Landing at 9. I guess that's not weird because the 10 o'clock news comes on. And then it says Dynasty aired on Wednesdays on ABC. So in my mind, they were always sort of pitting against each other, but more in my head, it's Dallas and Dynasty. Not to say the other ones couldn't hang, but it was probably just them. Thank you. Kip goes on to say for Knott's Landing, the first era that's in quotations. Season one and three is gone. Season four is going to start a new era for Knott's Landing. On Knott's Landing, Diana is gonna have a much bigger part. I can't wait to find out your reaction to her. Pay attention to Richard and Laura's marriage. I ain't gonna lie, that hurt my feelings a little bit. I I'm I am disappointed. Damn it. Last episode of Knott's Landing, I kid you not, I don't even know if I said this on the podcast, but there was a moment when she was telling her mom that she's I'm 18 and you treat me like a baby. She's screaming at her, mind you, looking absolutely out of her mind. And I remember rejoicing that, oh good, she's 18. I mean she's about to go to college. And I'm hoping we keep talking about New York. She's got the fashion designer friend, remember in New York? That other dude that thought he was her daddy. I I believe he went back to New York. Joe's old girlfriend is New York. Why is she not going to NYU? I am I was just I was so sure. I sure hate to hear that. Dang it. More Diana? Bigger Diana? Oh. No, listen, I know those are the rules of engagement and a soap opera. Children are currency. The benefit of having a child is that they can disappear for a little bit and come back 17 years older, and we're gonna all pretend like that's normal. I'll endure. Damn. That hurts my villains. I just knew she was out of here. I was like, please send her to New York or go overseas or something. She seems to be in demand. Adults seem to like Diana. Damn it. She better not ruin the season for me. A little bit more. It says the latter part of this season will be a full soap. More 80s. Knott's Landing is going to be better this next season. You may be surprised. Take care. Nice review. Thank you so much, Kip. Yeah, I've heard it's gonna be good. I believe it. I have absolutely no reason not to believe that, but you bring up an interesting point about it being very 80s. On the last episode, I told you I was going back to watch a little bit of Knotts Landing. Well, I went back and watched a little bit of all the shows. I watched part of season one of Dynasty and had a really good time. It's actually 10 times funnier knowing who these characters are, like the Carringtons later. I fully enjoyed that. I enjoyed that Lankersham guy. I didn't think I would miss him as much as I do. But I only watched a little bit more of season three of Non Slanding, but I happened to fawn season two of Falcon Crest. And one of the first things I thought as soon as I turned it on was that it was so I was like, God, this looks really, really old. Considering where I'm at now, I think they're in 1986, 1985, 1986. Falcon Crest has always been a little more 80s looking to me. It definitely fits the mold of what I think the 80s is and was. But none of the other shows do. It's visually for me. I can't really give an opinion about the storylines, what that means in the 80s, not really. But visually, season two of Falcon Crest looked so much older. It looked like it was 10 years older than where I am now in 1986. None of the other soap operas really gave me that. If I'm being honest, Dallas and Not's landing, more so Dallas, still gives me late 70s residue, but they are turning it up a little bit more. Pam's Rick James hair. She's been wearing some interesting patterns, like the Save by the Bell. I don't even know what you call those with all the different squiggles, and it's not really geometric, is it? Let's call it geometric. 80s geometric patterns. It's been a little bit more 80s, but they still have that soft, fluffy 70s hair. So that's interesting that you said it'll be more 80s. I don't know if you mean storyline-wise or visually. So I'm excited to see. Okay. My friend from Overgone has some tea. This is this has been the most interesting thing to me. Okay, so listen to this. Long before they became J.R. Ewing and Alexis Kobe, Larry Hagman and Joan Collins dated. That's not even the best part. They dated briefly in the 1940s. Hold that in your mind for a second. Also, before they score their iconic roles as resident baddies on Dallas and Dynasty, they were cast as husband and wife in the 1970 film Up in the Cellar. So I just checked. Up in the Cellar is on Amazon. Like I said, at the time of this recording, it's a 16 days. It's only going to be on there for 16 days. So I have that in my queue fired up. I might need to go ahead and purchase it. I bet it's like$1.99 just in case I don't get to it. But I could not pass up the opportunity to see Alexis Colby and J.R. Ewing as husband and wife. I'm really pumped. Also, I read the synopsis of the film. It seems pretty funny. Up in the cellar threw me off because I thought sellers were underground. That's neither here nor there. Okay, so before Abby and J.R. hooked up on Knott's Landing, Donna Mills and Larry Hagman starred as a married couple on the 1971 sitcom The Good Life. That sits weird to me too, even though you guys have broken down to me how old she was, Donna Mills, when she started Knott's Landing. I don't know why that feels weird to me that in 1971 she was on a show with him. I'm not surprised he was on TV because I've seen him in Bewitched. So I'm fully, you know, I knew he had been around for a little bit. Let me go ahead and finish this. Now, Oregon, I did kind of know about the the origins. You're giving me a slightly different take. He says Dallas Dallas creator David Jacobs originally went to the network pitching Knott's Landing. However, the network wanted something richer that was more like a saga, so he conceived Dallas. After the Ewings became a success, the network then became interested in Knott's Landing with the suggestion of making it a spin-off of Dallas. Jim Davis, Jock, and Victoria Principal, Pam, had a close relationship due to principal resembling Davis' deceased daughter, Tara Diane, who was killed in a car accident at age 17. That is so sad. So, okay, the the T I had heard, and this isn't very different, is that by Dahlia and Gary, real names escape me at the second, they were wanting to be on this show called Um Scenes from a Marriage. I heard that Knott's Landing was based on Scenes of a Marriage, and that it was actually conceived first and then Dallas happened. So what you're saying is that yeah, it's you're saying the same thing. They wanted Knott's Landing, but they needed something richer, probably a little more soapy, something like a saga, Dallas came to pass, and then okay, and then they did the spin-off. Okay, that's not very different. I guess I just didn't realize that they the network was like, hey, this is cute or whatever, but we need something a little more dramatic, and that Dallas, Dallas as a saga, makes a whole lot more sense. I guess that's a point I'm trying to make. When I think of Dallas in the same vein as you think of the movie like Giant or Lonesome Dove, even though there's not as much action, it definitely feels like it could have been a saga. That's a very, very good way of putting it. Okay, oh that's that's really sweet. We'll get into this net this episode. The loss of Jim Davis, man. So she was very close to him. That's sweet. Oh, that's very sad. Very sad. Okay, so Steve, I'm gonna miss I'm gonna mispronounce his name. This is Ray. Steve, is it Connolly? Cannelly? Canalee? I don't know where the emphasis goes. AKA Ray almost left the show due to his character's lack of development. It was Larry Hagman who came up with the idea to make Ray the illegitimate son of Jock in order to get Ray or Canale, Canale, Canala, whatever, to stay. Good on him. Yeah, he he doesn't really say much. He just sort of yuck yuck. I like dirt and oh shucks, Jock. I just want he don't want to do nothing but chase turds and cows and stuff. Not that there's anything wrong with that. As a matter of fact, when you think about Ray in the context of this show and all the family drama that happens around him, I'd want to hang out at the ranch too. I don't want to be in y'all's business. You people are psycho. This is how y'all do each other. This is how the people who were raised together do each other. What do I look like being folded into that? I'm with Ray. Want y'all's mess. You got a sister-in-law shooting piece. You know, absolutely not. I wouldn't try to, I wouldn't want to be a Ewing either. This is funny though. So the actor who played Ray was like, uh, I'm I'm not really developing here. This is kind of boring. The funny thing is, it says Ken Kershival. Kershavel, again, forgive me for the pronunciation. Ken Kershaval, aka Cliff, originally wanted to play the part of Ray Krebs because he was tired of playing characters who wore suits. Is that not so millennial coded? He wanted to wear denim to work. You know what? That is a fantastic point. I obviously I think about wardrobe on TV and on movies and stuff. And most of the time it's like it's for fashion. I don't really think of it as being functional, but I would be, yeah, you'd probably want to be really comfortable. I didn't think about the men having to wear suits all the time. I just think that's so funny to think his um preference for that role came down to whether or not he was wearing denim. Like, I'd rather be in denim than a tie. That's hilarious. Okay, last little bit. Barbara Belgadis was only nine years older than Larry Hagman. Hagman was 18 years older than Patrick Duffy, who played his younger brother, though we assume them to only be a few years apart in age. You were a hundred percent correct. You see, you gotta remember I was introduced to Patrick Duffy as Uncle Frank. And he's married to Suzanne Summers on Step by Step. Seeing him younger to me, just he just looked younger. You know what I'm saying? I didn't actually put an age on it, I just knew he wasn't Uncle Frank on Dallas. But I would have never, ever in my life guessed that they were 18 years apart. Even more, I would have never guessed that Barbara Belgattos was only nine years older than him. That man looks amazing. The fact that he and Joan Collins, aka Alexis Colby, dated in the 40s blew my mind. There's no way on earth I pictured him as an adult man in the 40s. I guess that's what's giving me the most. I'm shook. I didn't think he was that old. That's crazy. He has some fantastic jeans. I didn't even bother to look up how old they are. Because I know that Joan Collins is 90. That's wild. I can't have pictures, I can't picture him in the 40s. I need a little more tea with that. I really need to figure out how that went about. Okay, it says okay, he was born September 21st, 1931, in Fort Worth, Texas. Makes a lot of sense. So he could have, I mean, he would have been young, so they probably would have been 18, 19. That makes a lot of sense. Well, hold on, because 1941, he would have yeah, okay, he could have absolutely dated someone. He would have been 18 by the time the 40s ended. So that makes sense. They were teenagers. Okay, I can deal with that. For some reason, I was picturing him as like a 30-year-old man. I cannot believe he and Barbara Belgattis are that close in age. That's crazy to me. Alright, guys. Well, let's jump into this episode. I hadn't even bothered to pull it up. I did pull out the other film that I will watch afterwards. Let's jump into season five, episode one of Dallas, whose name I don't even know yet. This will be one of my just sort of I'm gonna react in real time type episodes. I'm sorry if that drives you crazy. I will try my best to do it in 15-minute increments. I don't have much faith in myself as I say that, but you know what, it doesn't matter. It's all gonna be edited in or out, doesn't really matter either way. Called Missing Air. Quick little aside, I'm minding my business watching the John Candy documentary. I guess I, you know, was piddling around or something. I come back into my bedroom, tell me why. There's this whole, I don't know if it's I love the 80s or whatever. They're talking about Dalits. I felt like Amazon is trying to ruin my life. I had to run out of the room, yo, turn it off, turn it off. Trying to play me. I've made it this far without any spoilers. I'll be damned if I get any now. Let's go ahead and jump into this episode. Missing air. I made it a whole two minutes and 30 seconds. Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold up. Immediately, soap tax, soap tax, soap tax. So the show opens up. It's still night, it's the same night that the body of the pool, the pool body is in the pool. Whatever I'm trying to say, you know what I'm saying? The place is crawling with cops. I mean, you see red flashing lights everywhere. You see the ambulance go down the long driveway, get on the main road. I guess they're heading to Dallas. Now the ambulance sirens are on, which is probably not very accurate, but we're gonna let that slide. If the person is dead, like I said, I'm two minutes into this. So, what we get to see that we didn't get to see last time is that there's obviously like the balcony was broken. I'm gonna rewind and go back to the last episode because I don't think it was actually snapped. I don't remember seeing that, but of course, we weren't really looking for that, right? Last jet saw Cliff came to the house. He's walking, like going on the patio where everybody goes to. He looks, he sees a body in the pool, he immediately jumps in, flips the body of the woman. We know it's a woman, flip around, and says, She's dead. Well, on this episode, like I said, the it's crawling with cops. You can see that the balcony has been broken. The cop says, Cliff, tell me again what happened. He goes, Oh, okay. Let me let me get my let me get myself together. I'm a little keyed up, you know what I'm saying? Um, so JR definitely killed her. JR 100% pushed her off said balcony. So we get to see the little dream like sequence where they go woo-woo woo and it gets all miragey looking. You see, Cliff run and dive into the pool. He flips the body over in his bad girl, Kristen. I call BS. Kristen's hair is mad long. This girl has short hair. It's Kristen at two minutes and 30 seconds. So now I gotta go back to the previous episode to see if that little um if the balcony was broken. I'm saying I didn't see that, but also I wouldn't have been looking for that now, would I? I'm gonna go check. Okay, I just looked, it totally was broken. It wasn't when Cliff ran up, so he called Pam's office to see if she was there. Her assistant says she wasn't. He's like, Oh, okay, don't worry about it. If she went home, I'm gonna go see her anyway. I'm headed out there to talk to Bobby. I had forgotten very quickly. I knew Pam had taken the baby. JR is already pissed off. Like he's he's telling the the sheriff or whoever, highway patrol guy, if you find her, bring her back to me. He's already pissed. So I'm with Cliff at the two-minute, 30-minute mark. Of course he did it. How else was she if there's nobody else home? And as casual as JR looks, he definitely did it. Or maybe she fell. Who knows? Okay, I'm gonna try to refrain myself. Bad girl Kristen. Now the ambulance had the sirens on. That usually I've always been told that means they're alive. You know what I'm saying? They don't really rush to the hospital if you're not. But we're gonna find out together. Her hair's way too long. I just don't see how that could have been her. I was leaning towards the secretary a little more. But if he was pissed off because Cam, Cam, Cam just took his kid, the other baby mama showing up would probably set him off a little bit. So Cliff tells that to one sheriff. The other one, the one who's been on the show before, that guy is totally typecast as a sheriff every time I see him. He goes over to JR a little bit more tenderly because he knows basically JR bought his position, so he's got to handle this just so. JR says, I didn't do that. When I came outside, Cliff was drowning this girl in the pool. So the other sheriff, let's do sheriff number one and main sheriff. Sheriff number one goes over to main sheriff and he pulls him aside and he says, Hey, Cliff Barnes is saying that uh JR pushed her off the balcony and killed her. Main sheriff is like, Well, I mean, the balcony is broken, you know what I'm saying? I mean, yeah. So they both you can tell they both kind of feel like that's really what happened, but they don't want to say anything because this family is big and powerful and whatnot. Main sheriff goes over to JR, says, Hey, Cliff says you pushed her off the balcony. He's like, I didn't push her off the balcony. I came outside and he was drowning that girl. Well, Cliff can hear by this point. It's so funny that he's in a wetsuit. Just knowing he probably hated that so much. Cliff comes over and he says, I barely knew this girl. I have absolutely no reason to want to kill her. He killed her, and he just like he uh killed, I think he said Julie Gray, who I had forgotten about. I'm assuming that was the model. I don't remember what. Cliff has been in trouble so many times at this point. But he says, J.R. is trying to frame me like he tried to frame me for the Julie Gray murder. I didn't do this, I don't know this girl. I saw her in the pool, I jumped in and helped. So everybody's like, okay, right, fine. Now, JR is all but threatened, main sheriff, saying, you know, my daddy got you that job, you gotta do right. But the main sheriff says, Man, I gotta be a sheriff, JR. If you don't answer questions here, I'm gonna have to take you down to this to the station. He don't want to go to the station. He said, I have a tragedy on my hands, not the death of this nobody, even though that's his sister-in-law. And they'd even ask, Well, was she here to see Sue Well? He goes, I don't really know. My son has been kidnapped, that is more important. I'm afraid something bad's gonna happen to him. My sister-in-law took him, she's probably giving him to Sueella. And I guess this sort of tracks in 1981, 1982, a parent stealing their or taking their child is not really considered kidnapping. I don't ever want to make light of kidnapping in any way, but I know a lot of the amber alerts I see it's usually a parent taking the kid, so it's just interesting to see how that has changed over time. But the sheriff says he's he ain't in no imminent danger, so you need to come on down to the station with me. Well, right about this time, Bobby drives up. Bobby is late. This is all Bobby's fault, quite frankly. Why would you have a meeting at your house? You know how Cliff feels about your family. I wouldn't have met him, but anyway, Bobby pulls up, he's trying to figure out what's going on because the place is still crawling with cops. So he says, JR, what happened? He says, This clown Barnes killed Kristen. No, Bobby does he look at Cliff, but he just says Kristen. So I he probably immediately like, nah, no, he didn't. And Cliff says, No, your brother threw off the balcony. Here's my thought. Before we go any further, I've only gotten as far as to where they got down to the sheriff's station, so it's not very much further. It's like seven minutes in. Bobby, does Bobby know that Kristen shot JR? I don't really remember. I feel like that was kept under wraps, but Bobby seems to know a little bit of everything all the time. I don't know if he and Pam know that, but I'm sure he knew they were boning at the very least. So yeah, Cliff really doesn't have a reason to do that, and he certainly wouldn't go to your house to kill her. So they do end up hauling JR off down to the sheriff's office because he didn't he refused to answer questions. Cliff answered questions while he was there. It's two people accusing each other of killing a girl, a girl who maybe just fell into the pool. Who knows? We're gonna find out what JR has to say downtown. But he tells Bobby before he goes, Your crazy wife stole my son. I need you to get down to Abilene and get my son back there at the blah blah blah hotel. So once everybody leaves, Bobby gets on the phone and he calls their private helicopter guy. He's like, hey, um, or their private jet, which I forgot they had. I've seen him on the helicopter a lot, but not the jet. Hey, I need to I need to fly to Abilene right now. And the guy's oh, I'm so sorry, mister. You and the engine's out. We're working on the engine. I can't fly you. Okay, no problem. He hangs up and he calls Sun West, not Southwest, very clever. Sun West, I need a flight to Abilene. If you know Texas geography, Dallas and Abilene really aren't that far apart. I think that might be like a 10-minute flight. I don't even see how you would do that. Anyway, they don't have a flight going out until 7 a.m. He could get in a car and be in Abilene in a couple hours, is what I'm thinking. Dallas and Abilene really aren't that far apart. I'm not gonna harp on that, but that's an odd soap tax considering there is a map. Now I know everybody in West Texas usually has to fly out of Midland. You can go from Midland to Dallas, which is about a six-hour drive. That flight is only 30 minutes. You can fly from Midland to Houston in an hour, but that's like an eight to ten hour drive. So I'm that's you see what I'm saying? If you're flying from Abilene or from Dallas to Abilene, it's not it's it's like a five-minute trip. There's no way. There's absolutely no way. If a six-hour trip takes 30 minutes, I'm not even gonna do the math. There's zero chance that this two-hour drive would even be feasible back then. Because I know Southwest, they act like they don't want to go nowhere. It's impossible to fly in and out of San Antonio without any drama. It is so crazy. You have to like reroute to Houston. Sometimes you want to go to San Antonio to Dallas, they'll send you to Houston first and then you go up. That makes sense. So a lot of people will just drive. Like you might as well. There's plenty of roads in Texas, you just drive wherever you need to go. I guess this is the same soap tax that would allow us to believe there are mountains near San Angelo, which isn't that far from Abilene either. I digress. Let's get to it. So Cliff ends up having to go down to the sheriff's office too and re-give his statement. Mind you, he is sopping wet in a suit. He has to spend the entire night recanting this story again and again. JR does the same thing. So let JR tell it. He's in the office with Maine Sheriff, and he said that Kristen had come over. She must have been high or she was drunk or something, and she was trying to hit him up for a whole lot of money. Main Sheriff says, Does she do that often? Why wouldn't she just ask her sister? JR says to him, Me and her sister aren't together right now. We are separated currently. And when you are wealthy like myself, you'll find that you have a lot of poor relatives. The sheriff's like, Yeah, probably. That makes sense. He eventually gets around to Kristen. Okay, so tell me what you saw. He's like, I went out on the balcony and I saw Clip Barnes drowning that girl. Now, like I said, it is leaning. To me, it seems like the sheriff's office is not really buying that Cliff had anything to do with it. So he sort of cocks his head to the side and said, Now, what did you see? I didn't say what you think. What did you see? He goes, Okay. I just saw him in the pool. I didn't see him drowning her or whatever. And the sheriff says, Well, did you push her off the balcony? JR says, No, I did not. How did that balcony get broken then? I don't know. Here's my thing. Bobby had said something earlier. Bobby's about to get in a cab and have a cab drive him to Abilene, which is wild. He and Ray are chatting. Bobby said, you know, JR's a lot of things, but he ain't no killer. And I think I said that the last episode. I don't really think he's a killer like that, but I don't know. Is that what he's blossoming into? It's only a matter of time, right? I've watched enough gangster films to know. Michael Colleone did not start out as a murdering mob boss. That was not his intention. He was a patriotic soldier, simply wanting to see his sister get married. Before you know it, he was sucked into the family business. He didn't start off as no killer. Remember, he had a really hard time. I'm talking about the Godfather, by the way, if you don't know. When he went into that restaurant and he had to kill that guy, he he suffered with that. You know what I'm saying? But it's like after the first one, it gets a lot easier. I'm not saying this from experience, I'm saying from what I've watched on all these gangster films. You name it, I've seen it. Ray sort of believes the same thing as I do. He says, under the right circumstances, anybody could be a killer. I.e., maybe you stole this man's son. Maybe you're doing X, Y, and Z. He's not wrong, but I'm also like, uh, who knows? I don't know. I don't I think he did push her accidentally. I do not think she showed up high. I do 100% think she showed up asking for money. I think she said something to piss him off about the baby. He's already pissed off that John Ross is not there. I think it just got out of hand. That's my opinion. And I have that opinion because he was the one holding a glass of bourbon. As Cliff's jumping in the pool, like, oh my gosh, JR does not look bothered. He's drinking his beverage, like, oh man, that's crazy. So, anyways. Once JR is released, he goes to make a phone call and he's asking for the detective guy he called earlier. Apparently, that guy's not in his office. He left. So JR leaves a message that says, Tell him to meet me in my office in an hour. I'm not gonna hang up on that, but how would how would the guy know if he's gone, right? Anyway, JR goes to his office. Sure enough, the guy comes in and he says, I've done some digging. Your son's not at the Abilene Hotel anymore. He is headed to San Angelo. JR's like, wait, what? The guy explains. McCar picked up the baby from the hotel in Abilene, and they tracked the license plate of that said car to San Angelo. He names a little part of the whatever, and JR goes, Oh, that's the Southern Cross. So let's rewind a little bit and think about Dusty's daddy. Remember, Dusty's daddy told Sue Ellen he didn't really know JR like that. He knew of him, but he got money like they got money. And JR, this is apparently true because JR is like, wait, that's the Southern Cross. All those refineries, all those this, all those that. So now he's looking a little worried, like, well, what the hell would they want with my kid? That's as far as I got. But I'm thinking one of y'all, I think one of y'all told me to watch out for the dad. Oh, I don't know. The Southern Cross is in San Remo, which is in another county. So JR's wishes, which are have the San Angelo sheriff department track down the car, put a watch, you know, basically put a bolo out, track the car, and then I'm gonna go get him. And his dude is like, nah, you can't really do that. They don't have jurisdiction in this other place in San Rivo. It's just so funny to me that JR at one point was sort of watching over Sue Ellen, or at least we thought he was. It was only Dusty this whole time. I got a little bit confused with that. I think at some point JR stopped caring what Sue Ellen did once he was on the mend, once he was back in power. He stopped caring about what she did. He's only traked her that one or two times. But he's none the wiser about Dusty. I don't think anybody knows about Dusty. Which leads me to believe that it was Sue Ellen in that car. I don't know why I was thinking it would be Dusty's family, like a driver, but I'm sure Sue Ellen was in the car because Pam would have dropped off the baby to her. Pam wouldn't have given the baby just to anybody. The next scene they show drives me crazy in film when they do this. I was watching another show where they were supposed to be in Lubbock, Texas. But they go outside and you can see the palm trees in the background. They are allegedly at this hotel, and I see about five or six palm trees, which, yes, there are palm trees in Texas. People plant them, they bring them in, but there's not a ton of them. It's like two in someone's yard. This is wild. Oh my gosh. Okay, so do you remember last time I said that when they have a young girl, someone between the ages of like 18 and 22, 23, they don't really know what to do with her on these sort of shows. They have no idea what to do. So enter Lucy. She had come home, remember, from her young Miss Dallas expedition to Houston or whatever. Found Mitch laying asleep on the couch with all his clothes on, and another woman in her bedroom. Now, listen, I don't really she she reacted how she needed to react. I'm I'm not blaming her for that at all. There's a woman sleeping in my house. When I'm not here, I feel a way about it. I totally get that, Lucy, 100%. So she moves back to South Fork. Now she gets there, and only Ray is on the premises. Heard about Kristen on the radio. What had happened? Ray's like, well, she was in the pool. They found her dead in the pool here. She's like, dang, well, who was home? Ray says, Well, Cliff Barn found her. He showed up and he found her, but JR was home. She was like, hmm. JR, huh? Dang. She didn't say yes or no, but I mean, yeah, people are tending to believe that. So Bobby actually took the cab to Abilene, I realize now, so that he could drive Pam back. He goes to the hotel, never mind the palm trees. Soap tax, soap tax, soap tax. And they have a little discussion about it. He says, Pam, I'm not sure you did the right thing. And she says, I'm just so worried about Chris. I can't believe this happened to Kristen. He says, Well, I didn't have time to think about it because I was so worried about you. That's kind of a weird thing to say, but okay. He doesn't think she did the right thing. And Pam says, Well, if you had seen Sue Ellen's face last night when she picked up the baby, you might not be saying the same thing. I know JR is who he is, but I didn't feel like he was doing the right thing by keeping a child away from their mother. Bobby is he's playing the both sides very well. I really do feel like it. He's not out and out accusing his brother. He didn't think his brother's a killer, but he can understand that he does do things the wrong way most of the time. And he's not really mad at Pam about it. I'm glad to see that. And he says, you know, do you really think you should have gotten involved? She's like, I had to. There was a little kid. There's an innocent child in between this. There's no reason to keep that baby from Suwelling. Bobby agrees, even though he doesn't feel like Pam should have taken the baby. So they end up driving to this restaurant. They pull up. The marquee thing under the sign says, two eggs, hash brown, and toast for a dollar and fifty-five cents. Can we just have a moment for livable? Whew. Two whole eggs, y'all. It probably costs a dollar fifty-five for two eggs now. But you get to have two eggs, a piece of toast, and you get to chase it with hash browns. Hallelujah. Okay, let's get back to Lucy though. So Lucy has moved back to South Fork. She told that to Ray. I still find it incredibly uncomfortable that that's her uncle knowing that they were bang hanging on season one. It's so weird. They seem to be over it. I guess they'll just pretend it never happened, right? At some point, I don't know if it's the next day or later that day, I'm not really sure. Lucy ends up going back to the home she and Mitch share, that apartment that her family bought. And when she walks in, he is cleaning up per usual. If you think about it, Mitch was a full-time student and a part-time housewife because he did all the work while Lucy went gallivanting around Dallas and the greater parts of Texas being young Miss Dallas. He feels bad, like Lucy. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. She's no, I'm sorry. And then she gives him this heart to heart with a straight face. She says, Mitch, I fell in love with you. I fell in love with you because you are the way you are. You're poor and you can't afford the things I can afford. And sorry. You have to scrimp and scrape, and you know, I loved that you were poor. Basically, I fell in love with you because you were poor. And you wouldn't take any money from my family. I love that. He's like apologizing. He's like, Lucy, I'm so sorry. That's if I had if there was another way for me to be, I would be it. I would change for you. But the only way I know how to survive is to survive like this. I mean, on account of me being poor and whatnot. And she goes, I know, I don't want you to change. I love you just the way you are. So she runs up to him and they have this beautiful warm embrace. She's just basically like, but I can't live like that. You know what I'm saying? I can't be poor. I I can be scrimping and scraping. You can blame it on the way I was raised, you know, with wealth and anything I wanted. She literally said out her mouth, I don't have I don't want to wait for what I want. I don't want to have to wait for that. I want what I want now. So she hugs him and she basically says, I can't change, but I just can't be poor. I'm really sorry, Mitch. But um, yeah, it's not nearly as as romantic as I thought it would to even pretend to be poor. Mind you, they're living in a penthouse. Mind you, she has a job that pays Buku money, and she still has grandparents who foot every single bill. But she likes, yo, this struggle. Even being struggle adjacent is really not a good look for me, Mitch. I love you to death, but I mean, being poor, not for me. Not on my watch, homie. Mitch is sort of licking his wounds, and he goes to the cabaret where his sister is a lounge singer. And she is singing this song. There was a song when I was a kid. I know I'm gonna get it wrong. I'm saying it's ace of bass. It's not ace of bass. And it's not Cheryl Crow, but Cheryl Crow writes in that same style where um I went into the grocery store and picked up cereal, then uh splash cold milk on my face. That kind of thing. Afton is basically singing. You walked into my bedroom and you kissed my forehead, and I rolled over on the silk pillow. She's carrying on dolo. So maybe it's noon, maybe she's practicing, I don't know, but ain't nobody in there. She's in there with this purple off-the-shoulder number. In comes Mitch. He's looking all sad. She's like, Dang, what's wrong with you? You have to graduate. You look awfully depressed for someone who's almost achieved their dreams. What gifts? He says, Well, Lucy and I broke up. And she says, For good? I thought she was gonna act like she didn't like Lucy. But to some surprise, when he says, Yeah, it looks that way, she's like, You know what? For somebody so smart, you are the biggest fool I've ever met in my life. You know you dumb, dumb, right? And he's like, What are you talking about? She's like, Let me get this straight, Mitch. You have a woman who loves you to death, loves everything about you, but you can't live with the fact that she has money. You'd rather her live like a pauper. She's like, You drove this girl away. When you put it like that, I'm with you when you're right, Afton. She's right. You drove this girl away because she had money bags, money bags, money bags. She dug you because you were poor, and the fact that she said it is hilarious to me. But Afton's not wrong. You couldn't get over the fact that she has money. So Afton's like, well, let me ask you something, Mitch. What's so wrong with a woman having more money than a man? He's like, it's just not the way I want to live. She's like, Well, you dumb dumb. That's exactly why you stand up here looking stupid right now. He drowns the whiskey and he slams the glass down. Fix me another drink. I thought, dang, Mitch, you are dumb on two accounts. First and foremost, I know you're like straight lace and you want to go to school and all that, but what kind of college student wouldn't take advantage of your little sister working at a bar? You get free drinks all this time, and you'd rather work 97 jobs when your wife can easily cover your tuition. I get it. Pride is one thing, but her funding the work that you're putting into your life, there's nothing wrong with that. There's no way on earth anybody would look at that. Not that it's important if they did, but nobody's gonna look at Mitch and say, Wow, you really wrote her coattails. No, you worked your way through med school. And maybe the last six months you had a wife who had enough money to cover it. So instead of working 77 jobs, you could work maybe two if you insist and study and then become a doctor. If you're not comfortable with money, you definitely went into the wrong profession, especially in the 80s. You're not gonna sit up here and tell me that that wasn't one of the highest paying jobs in the country at the time. Zero chance that's not the case. So Midge can't handle the money. For the first time on this show, something hit me. Ms. Donna Culver.

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Ms.

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Donna Culver inherited she was married to an older gentleman. Apparently, they had a beautiful relationship. She got along with her stepson, who's like two months younger than her. He he was her mentor, her ex-husband, that is, or her what do you wait, what do you say? Is that her ex-husband if he's deceased? I'm not sure of the proper wording of that, but you know what I'm saying. Her late husband was a mentor to her. He was a wonderful man. She learned a lot from him, so much so that she has become sort of a powerhouse in the political realm. She is helping different people rise in the ranks. She seems to be a good woman with a good heart and a lot of money. But it didn't occur to me in the way that it should have. When you look at Mitch, who's coming, he's marrying someone with money. He's very uncomfortable with it. Donna Culver married a man with money, and I never even thought about what how comfortable she may or may not have been. So you remember last time we saw her, she was in Virginia, and she got a call from the bank where the bank's like, Yo, your husband just came in here and took out three million dollars. Did you know about it? She pretended like she did. She also got on the first thing smoking. She didn't fly southwest, she saw she flew Delta or Delta, whatever they call it on here. She got back to Dallas and Ray sitting out in the front yard. He's thinking she's coming home because Kristen is dead. And he says, Oh, would have called you. You don't have to come back for that. She goes, No, I was already on my way. He goes, Oh, okay, well, how was the party? Well, I didn't go to the party, I was already on my way back here. It hits him. He's like, Oh, you came back home for something else. Uh, yeah, Ray, she had three million reasons to show up. Here's the part that surprised me the most I knew she wasn't gonna go off. I knew she wasn't gonna flip out, but she says, Ray, listen, baby, I inherited a lot of money, and I never thought of it as my money, it's our money. That's number one. Okay, that's quite generous. I'm thinking that's her money, right? Like she inherited that. But she basically tells him, I, you know, I ain't never been wealthy outside of this man, so I just want to make sure we're doing the right things. She is new to this being the heir, being the um facilitator of these funds. She doesn't have the wisdom. I I'm walking into this thinking when she got the call from the bank that she does a lot of dealings with the bank. She's really good with money, she's been handling this, but it's new to her, too. She's just savvy enough to know something about this deal doesn't feel right. Ray, I feel like you're rushing into it. So she's not mad that he took three million dollars, but she is concerned why he took the money and where the money went. Ray is a little bit offended because he said, I was all over that T'Challa deal, and it turned out wonderful. Why do you think I don't know what I'm doing? It ain't that you don't know, you just knew to this. That's all I'm saying. You knew to business, I'm new to being a widow, I'm new to being a cabillionaire in my own right. I'm just saying both of us are fresh to this. Perhaps we are a little more cautious in our dealings. That's all I'm saying. He feels away so far. I don't know what else is happening. So a little later on, Bobby invites Donna to go horseback riding with him, but he's not really saying anything. And she's like, yo, did you really want company or did you just feel guilty? What's that? Why do you call me? He breaks it down to her, I'm having a little bit of marital woes with Pam. You know what I'm saying? She's the one who took John Ross to Abilene. Donna is a girl's girl. I mean, I would have done the exact same thing if I'm being honest with you. Well, Bobby goes, Well, you know, Pam has these weird moves wings where sometimes I can talk to her, sometimes I can't. And I guess he's talking about when they got back to South Fork, she went right up to John Ross's room and she just sort of sat there. She's sad. I mean, she loved that baby. Remember, that was she was taking care of him right after Sue Ellen had him because Sue Ellen wasn't able to bond with him. So, yeah, she has an attachment to the child. She still gave the child up to his mother because that's where he needed to be. But Bobby's like, I don't know why she's acting so weird. And Donna's like, dude, are you for because she wants a baby? Obviously, that's the problem. He goes, I know, but she's like obsessed with it. Donna said, Listen, dude, okay. Okay. Don't listen to me. Why don't you get her a doctor? You mean a psychiatrist? Yeah, uh yes, sir. She might need an a a helpful ear to talk through this with. Doesn't seem like Bobby's gonna be much help. I tell you what, they have the weirdest. It's not that Bobby and Pam don't have chemistry, but their problems seem so forced to me sometimes. Do you guys agree? I feel like they feel so forced. This is a good time as any to bring this up. Jock and Ellie have not shown up on this episode. I didn't consider this until I had that comment last time on Knott's landing. Them sort of how do you say this? Rebuilding after Sid, even though I feel like Sid wasn't a super major character, not that he was easily replaced, but you know, they were able to sort of carry on after that. I think it hits so differently when the the actual actor passes away. So they're doing a great job. Not all the character, not all the cast is in the same spot ever. Doesn't really seem like it. And Donna Culver having a bigger part this episode. This is probably the most I've ever seen her on screen. They're having to fill in the gaps a little bit. They're not really talking a lot about Jock or Ellie or where they are. And so far, we're only one day out from the date that Kristen was killed or died. Killed or died. I don't know yet. I I just I can't even imagine how difficult this must have been to go back to work and pretend like everything is normal. Do your job as actors. You know, they're digging deep, they're doing what they're they need to, but I'm I'm positive at this point the the whole show was up in the air. They didn't really know what to do. There's no way they would have known what to do, but I I feel like they're gonna have to probably have a little stronger roles for Ray and for Donna and throw in a little more intrigue. And it seems like they're trying to set that up. This isn't the first or third time that Pam's been wanting a baby or been a little bit upset about it. So I'm just curious as to how that's gonna play out, considering they really do have to sort of work around Jock. And as of right now, it feels like Jock is just in Paris with Ellie, and nothing more has come of that just yet. Cliff does get to go over to his mom's house. I did, even though I'm not a super fan of Rebecca JG Wentworth, I am a fan of him being able to call his mama after he gets out of jail. And she's trying to figure out okay, well, Cliff, well, what's this got to do with you? Why do they think you did it? He lays it out for I went over there to meet Bobby. I saw the body in the pool I jumped in, and JR is up on the balcony with the broken balcony, mama, looking down like I did something. She's like, Yeah, that's crazy. And he goes on and on about J.R. And she goes, You sound just like your dad. He was always obsessed with them. And he's like, My daddy was right, though. He might have been a drunk, he might have been a loser, he might have been crazy, but he was not wrong about those ewings. Every time those ewings jump in something, it ruins it. Now she has been away for many, many moons, so she's not privy to Cliff's life with the Ewings. He's not lying. Whether you want to hear it or not, you're gonna have to sit through that. And Rebecca JG Wentworth is gonna have to bite her tongue because you can't be a back from the dead absentee mother having opinions on what he's saying about something that happened to him. He was at the drug was at the police station, he has been drugged through the mud and framed by these people. So I mean, personal responsibility would say he probably should find a different crowd to run with, but also he's not really doing anything, it's happening to him. Anyway, let me get back to this. Oh, I can't wait to tell y'all about Sue Ellen and them. Baby, I'm trying to see okay. So Sue Ellen has already popped up. I might as well go ahead and tell it. I was thinking I would just wait to the end of the episode and put that whole story together, but I'm just gonna tell you what I saw. Number one, the Southern Cross is where it's at. The Southern Cross makes South Fork look like I don't know. Do y'all remember that store big lots? Like you go in and they would have not Barbies, they call them like Sally's or something. It looks like that. Like this ranch is sprawling, it is lush, it is green, all the animals must be miles away so they're not downwind from the cows. Beautiful sprawling. They got the pool, they got the Spanish-style mansion with the terracotta roof tiles. So JR has convinced the San Angelo County Sheriff to go to this place. They end up driving up to the Southern Cross and they escort him to the door. Now, as they're walking up, there's Dusty's daddy's kind of fine. I'm just gonna put that out there. He's kind of kind of hot. He's standing on the balcony, you know, chest out, chin up. He runs teens and he says, How can I help you, Sheriff? Oh, hi, Mr. Dusty's dad. Is that your son's car out front? Indeed, it is. Daddy comes on down the steps. He meets the sheriff and JR face to face, blah, blah, blah. And they say, Well, you know, we we got word that that car was in Abilene last night at this hotel, the Dustin Motel, or something like that. And Daddy says, Yeah, my son was absolutely in Abilene at the Dust Dust Hotel. That's exactly correct. And then the sheriff says, This is J.R. Ewing. Daddy says, I know who he is. And well, we have reason to believe that his son is here. He's and is. He is. How can I help you, gentlemen? JR says, Oh, well, if my son's in their house, would you mind going in and get him? I'd really like him back. JR is not clocking that there's something going on here yet. Dad's like, no, no, he's fine. He's with his mom. I don't think we're gonna do that. Right about this time, Dusty comes out with his forest gump things. I'm not being hateful, I just don't know what to call them his crutches. He comes out, Dusty's looking good, he's walking, he's not sweating or anything. He's like, Dad, do we have a problem here? Daddy says, No, Dusty, this, you know, this here, JR. He just wanted to know if his baby was there or whatnot. JR looks at him and says, Hey, aren't you that used to ride rodeos or something, right? Dusty says, indeed, in the flesh, oh yeah, you that cowboy who made a pass at my wife. He's like, Something like that. Something like that. Well, Sue Ellen comes out in burnt orange with a vengeance. Top to bottom. She's kind of got on an outfit like Daphne from Scooby-Doo, but it's so cute. And she's like, don't get JR. You ain't finna get this baby. This baby ain't going nowhere. And JR's like, Sue Ellen, what the Yeah, yeah, I'm staying here. I'm suing you for divorce, JR. And he's like, Okay, well, um, can we have a moment alone? Dusty's like, she ain't going nowhere. JR said, Man, Sheriff, tell him, man, I ain't gonna do nothing to her. I ain't gonna do nothing. I just won't talk to her. She eventually agrees. They walk off to a beautiful gazebo. Keep in mind that all this is in the backdrop of these beautiful rolling hills, uh white stucco, terracotta tops. It is gorgeous. They go to this gazebo, and JR says, I don't know how to tell you this, but Kristen is dead. As well as like, like, like boring dead? No, like dead, dead. Dead? Why is she dead? Um, she was in the pool. Yeah, she died at South Fork last night. She was like, huh. How? He's like, uh, uh, I don't believe you. Why would I make that up? Make up a lot of stuff. He's like, I know, I know, but why would I make that up? She didn't believe him, but you can tell she's starting to believe him. She's like, oh my god, you did it. You absolutely did it. She's just like Cliff, and I don't blame him because it's like this is a pattern. Plus, she knows about the baby. She goes, Well, what about her baby? JR says, We don't really know if there is a baby. She goes, Well, you sent a check like there was a baby every month. He goes, I know, but I ain't never seen no picture, ain't nobody's gonna see them. We don't know there was a baby. She's pissed. I ain't going nowhere with you, JR. You'll never see your son. He goes, Now listen, I'll give you all the money you want. I will do worse you, no problem. But what you're not gonna do is keep my son. She's like, we'll see. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, JR comes stomping out of the house when he sees Pam chilling by the pool. First off, it's so weird that nobody's weirded out that there was a body floating in the pool 24 hours ago. Everybody has moved on with their life. Like, okay, that sucked. But I mean, it's still water, it's still Texas, it's still hot. Pam has gotten used to being wealthy. She is coming to the money quite well. Teresa, can I have some more coffee? I swear Teresa looks different. Last time she was young last season, but Teresa pours more coffee. JR spots her. He comes out of the house walking like his feet hurt. They hadn't broken his boots this episode. And he basically wants to cuss out Pam. Well, well, well. If I was you, I would stay far, far away from me. I can't believe you kidnapped my son. She's like, oh my god, JR. I didn't kidnap anyone. I took a baby to his mother. Like, you mean you took her a baby to Abilene so that he could be taken to San Angelo to the Southern Cross Ranch where she can shack up with some cowboy she's not married to. Pam ignores all that. She's like, like I said, the baby needs to be with his mother. They are like, even if she's sleeping with a man she's not married to? Of course, you would think that's fine, wouldn't you? You being the illegitimate daughter of a cow hand and the stepdaughter of the town drunk. Well, right about this time, Donna Culver and Bobby come up. Bobby hears him disrespecting his lady, and he's like, Oh no, hell no. But he runs up on JR. That's enough, JR. JR turns around, like, how dare you interrupt me cussing her out and disrespecting your wife? I am not done disrespecting your wife. Bobby's like, Oh, yes, you are. I'm not done. I'm gonna continue to cuss her out. Then JR gets froggy and decides he wants to jump. He goes to swing on him, but Bobby's young and spray. Now we know Bobby's 18 years younger. But luckily, right about that time, Ray comes up, breaks up the fight, or almost fight. There was no fight. Break it up. I cannot stress to you how unbothered Pam is. She just looks up like, oh, what? Who? She's been called worse. You gotta think when you grow up with a drunk daddy, she's probably heard and seen it all. J.R. Lee's ranch and decide he's gonna go to work, clear his head. I swear to you, when he walks in, I swear that was Kristen for a split second. Secretary's like, Mr. Ewing, I'm so sorry to hear about your sister in law. He's like, Yeah, I know, I know, I know. Tell Lou Ellen when she comes in. I got a lot of dictation for her to do today. I think that it was code for something else. You fill that in. And the new secretary's like, Well, Lou Ellen ain't coming in today. JR said, Why? She's sick. She's like, No, you fired her. She even says it slow like that, no, you fired her, homie. And he's like, I guess I did. JR meets with his new lawyer in his office. He feels like the other guy was too soft. So he says, New lawyer, I need you to represent me. Sue Ellen's got my baby. And he's like, okay, Bet, where's the baby? Oh, he's in San Angelo. Ah, that's gonna be a problem. I don't know if I can do much with that. JR says, why not? She's an unfit mother. New lawyer says, What is his name? Mr. Howard says that would be true and easy to prove if the baby was in your possession. But since they're not, I mean, what are you gonna do? JR makes a vow to him. I guarantee you before court starts, that baby's gonna be back in my possession. I have no reason to doubt him. Not a one. He looked good and crazy too. Eyes are real red this episode. J.R. is also so weird about the way he says stuff. So he walks out after the meeting, and Phyllis, Bobby's lawyer. Um, not lawyer, Bobby's secretary, is tic-tac typing away. And he says, Hey Phyllis, I need you to hit up the agency. I need some more girls sitting in here, I need a new secretary. Unless, of course, you want to be my secretary. She's like, Well, I mean, I'd have to talk to Bobby about that. You can tell she don't want to be a secretary. And he goes, Yeah, I guess he's got you broken in the way he wants you. She is not a horse, she is not a pair of leather boots, sir. You don't break in a secretary. My God. Even saying, Well, he's got you trained the way. I don't even like that. It's like calling um. Hate when someone's like, oh, you got a good woman. That sounds like you have an old beat up truck. You know what I'm saying? I don't like the implication behind it. Despite the way JR talks to and about secretaries, he still seems to be the man boyfriend. Bobby and Cliff meet up outside in a very public space, which is always a bad sign because you know you've been you're finna get some devastating news. Whoever's telling you said devastating news needs you not to cause a scene. So they're out in public. The gist of the conversation is Bobby telling Cliff, I've never lied to you, right? Right. Why would I lie now? I did not give JR any evidence so that he could slip his way out of whatever this was. Cliff's whole point is, do you really believe he's innocent? Bobby says, absolutely not, but nobody's been able to prove it. Cliff says, I'm going to Austin to do just that. Bobby says, good luck with that. You went over my head. You broke the chain of command. If you'll do that to me, you'll do it to anybody. Cliff's like, nah, I just did it this time because I know I was right. He's not wrong. Bobby says, doesn't matter if you're right, wrong, or indifferent. People are looking at you out of the side of their eyes now. I think you're gonna find that Austin is a very rigid, cold, frigid town for you, my friend. You are done in politics. Even if you won't admit it. This is this is this is very unfair. I don't know why I have such a soft spot for Cliff. Maybe because he's never really doing anything wrong. He really is trying to bring the truth about. So what if he has a vendetta? Doesn't mean he's wrong. And he certainly isn't wrong in this case, but dang, this is what season is this? This is season five. This is at least the fourth time Cliff has lost his career. I wouldn't even worry about it if I was him. If you you've lost it five to seven times, you can definitely get it back. Meanwhile, back at the Southern Cross, I think Dusty is having second thoughts. Interestingly enough, this is probably the first time he ever saw Sue Ellen and JR interact. It's a lot. We've we got a kidnapping charge, potentially a nasty divorce. It's a lot to take on. So he says, Sue Ellen, do you think maybe you need some time to j to adjust? Maybe just some time with you and the baby. Recalibrate a little bit. She says, absolutely not. I want to be here with you. You have fulfilled every woman's fantasy. You're a white knight who came and got me on a white horse and saved me from the dragon. You brought me to your castle. We're gonna live happy ever after. He hears this and it's nice and it's true. However, he's looking like I don't know. Is this am I just am I who you want or am I just better than what you had? He tells her as much. I don't want you to feel like you're in another prison. You know, you are free to come and go as you please. If this don't work, whatever. I don't think he's trying to break up, but I think he's wise enough to be like, this is gonna be really, really, really bad. I'm not sure we have a foundation for this yet. That's a smart man. Despite him wanting to help her and love her from a distance, it makes you wonder. People like that, like, do they burn out too quickly? If your romance is started because you were the hero at some point, how long do you sustain that if it's not true love? Look, y'all, vintage primetime soapers do not know what to do with young women. Lucy comes out of the house. I'm gonna assume it's an off-the-shoulder Barbie swimsuit or it's a bodysuit. It is red and white striped, it is very cute. She's got on a thinner, maybe a two and a half inch wide Wonder Woman belt over white culotteslash capri pants. She then has a pair of socks pulled all the way up so that it lowered. And a pair of plastic candies, the stripper version. What does Lucy have on? I don't understand the socks and the the clear hooker shoes. Let me listen to what she has to say. Okay, Lucy is saying nothing but she missed snitch. I miss him, I miss him, I miss him, but I'm too rich and he's too poor. Maybe I'm just a brat. She's telling all this to Bobby, and he's like, Mommy, you are a brat, but it's never stopped you before. That's it, that's all for her. The big ooh, ooh, got juicy at the end. So JR is back at his office. He's talking with his lawyer Barker. I thought his name was Howard Barker. He's talking to lawyer Barker, and um, they're trying to come up with a game plan since the baby is not in Dallas. The lawyer seems to think that they might have something if they uh if they attack Sue Ellen's character. JR is like, yeah, I mean, she's living with a guy she's not married to. What jury is gonna be okay with that? Different times, obviously. The lawyer says, yeah, there have been cases where it has been one on that. And if you think about your wife's history, adultery, remember when her face was splashed all over the Towboys when she was with Cliff? Her drinking problem, basically the way that John Ross came into the world because she was drinking alcoholic mouthwash and slammed into a tree and had him. Yeah, all I listen. To be fair, that doesn't sound great. Yeah, it's gonna be kind of hard to convince people otherwise. Well, it don't matter. As they're in the middle of this conversation, Bobby's secretary buzzes JR and says, Hey, the sheriff's here to see you. Okay, cool, send him in. Sheriff comes in, main sheriff, that is, main sheriff comes in. JR introduces him to lawyer Barker, and the sheriff says, Well, hey, um, I just had a really interesting call with the DA from Dallas County. And J.R. says, Okay. And I'm thinking, DA is not the same as like the forensic team. I was kind of like, I don't know. I was expecting him to say something about the toxicology report or something about Kristen. Well, he's talking about Chris and all right, but he said, The DA just told me that Miss Stewart confessed in front of your whole family that she shot you, but you managed to convince the DA to sweep that under the rug. And JR So he's like, Oh? And the lawyer's like, Oh, I had forgotten. I hadn't forgotten, but I couldn't remember who else was there. So uh J.R.'s like, okay, well, what does that have to do with anything? He goes, Well, the DA is con just got the best of them. With this girl turning up dead, it seems like you have the best motive out of anybody to take her out. And J.R. said, That's ridiculous. Why would I do a thing like that? Sheriff says, I don't know. I know that you gotta come down to the sheriff's office with me and we're gonna get this thing figured out. And then they just have the dramatic music. I didn't realize the DA was there. I didn't realize anybody well, I might need to go back and rewatch that. I thought that it was JR and Sue Ellen, Jock and Ellie, and I didn't remember if Kristen or anyone else, if excuse me, if Bobby and Pam were there. I I tend to believe they weren't. And I feel like Kristen confessed to shooting JR in a because she was jealous of Sue Ellen and he, and she wants she didn't tell him she was pregnant, but she just wanted to be with him and she misread something and she got beside herself and she's so sorry. And then she went away. They never called the cops. I don't I didn't remember there being a DA there, but apparently there was. Excellent season opener. I think they're doing a great job. I mean, I think it helps to end on a cliffhanger, and it also helps that Jock and Ellie weren't in the last few episodes of the last season anyway. I'm I'm sure as he got more and more ill, they just had to rework that. So part of me feels like they they're scrambling a little bit behind the scenes, although you can't really feel it on screen. But maybe they had a plan. You know what I'm saying? Maybe they had a plan just in case. So far, Jock and Ellie aren't here. Lucy did say she wished grandma was here. She didn't say grandma and granddad, but why would she be talking to her granddad about her man problems? Way to go, Dallas. Wonderful season opener. It does make me wonder though, since the cast is not really together. You know, there's a spot, there's a couple of them here and there. It makes me wonder if they had to shoot it in different at different times. I'm thinking like months apart. I tell you what, that's the first thing I'm gonna do. As soon as I finish one of these series, I'm gonna go back and read everything I can. I want the coffee table books, I want old articles. I'm just gonna like immerse myself in it and rewatch it. I have so many questions. I gotta keep better track of these questions. I think I'll put it on a spreadsheet or something. Alright, guys, that's neither here nor there. Thank you for joining me on this exciting season opener. Season five, season five. Join me next time as we jump back into some soap opera debauchery. I'm going to go ahead and draw it out of the bag again to figure out who we're gonna watch next. In the meantime, in between time. Well, before we go there, do y'all think do Okay? I realize if you're watching this for the first time like me, you don't know. If you're taking your time. If you have seen this before, am I well, you can't say anything, but I'm just gonna say, I'm kind of with JR. I don't know if there is a baby. I feel like there is. That's the perfect segue, though, if you think about it. Rule of thumb has always been for me. If a relative comes into town, they are bad news, with the exception of cousin Michael and Francesca on Falcon Crest. They haven't really been a problem thus far. They're also off the show, also. But when somebody disappears and then they come back, I'm not as verse with when a woman comes back with a baby, but anytime a character on a show goes to another city, you have to believe there's a whole different storyline there that is going to come back at some point. So the fact that she told JR NO Hound Dogface, whatever his name is, that he was also the daddy makes me think there's probably, I don't know. I feel like there might be a baby. Maybe he'll grow up and come back and mess up things, but that could be a long way off. I don't know. I don't know. We'll see. Dallas doesn't seem like they bring things up just to disappear later. Shoot, I don't know. Good riding, Dallas. All right, join me next time as we jump back into more soap opera debauchery in the meantime of time. Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business, and keep all of your drama on TV.