Soaplore

S5 EP2 DYNASTY: The Mortgage-The " Lost Lovers and Lounge Singers" Episode

• Jett Shae • Episode 324

Share episode

Send us a text

Power never walks through the front door on Dynasty—it slips in through a bank, a lounge, or a family name said like a threat. We jump into Season 5 with the kind of stakes that make champagne taste like gasoline: Blake is scrambling for capital, Alexis quietly buys his mortgage, Steven turns on Adam over baby Danny’s disappearance, and Jeff chases a fragile lead that might bring Fallon home. Every scene asks the same question: are you driven by love, legacy, or leverage? Steven’s recast persona hits like a blade, and his fury at Adam becomes the spark that exposes old fractures in the Carrington lineage. Blake answers with a grand patriarch speech, but the room doesn’t echo back—it absorbs the silence of people who know the surname doesn’t pay the bills. Krystal steps where pride won’t, selling jewels and furs to hand over a $4.5 million lifeline. It’s a romantic gesture with ruthless clarity: survival first, image later. Meanwhile, Alexis operates in the shadows with perfect aim. While under investigation, she positions herself to foreclose on the house that built Blake’s myth. The reveal lands as both humiliation and checkmate. And then there’s Dominique Deveraux, gliding into La Mirage with a voice that’s part velvet, part agenda. The stage is smaller than her legend, which is the point—she’s here to listen, to learn, and to move. Jeff’s arc grounds the glamour in grief as he faces a morgue call and still chooses hope, steering toward Portland with nothing but a name and a promise. This recap blends sharp plot beats with the texture that makes Dynasty a classic: couture ambition, legal knives, and loyalty that costs more than it earns. If you love high-stakes drama, missing-heiress mystery, and exes who weaponize real estate, you’ll feel right at home. Hit follow, share with your fellow soap lovers, and leave a review telling us: who’s really holding the power this season?

SPEAKER_00:

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome and welcome back to another fun told edition of Stuff Lloor. I'm your host, Jessica. You and you're doing this that's prime time storylines of season 5 and 4 of the 1980s prime time so operate extravaganza or like whatever you want to put the input with your floor. So whether you're new to this or three list, sit back in or delegate. It's time to play outside or outside to make no questions, suggestions, or concerns for the next 25 or 35 minutes. Everyone else in AirStack will have to be out there. It can be very, very cool, i.e. no questions or much quiet. It can be quiet when you both will not want to do the note. Or any disruption, be it timing or large, will not be talking. You will be talking about the meaning or wanting our story. What do you mean, gentlemen, boys and girls? This is soaploor. Hello, gorgeous. Welcome or welcome back to another fun filled edition of Soapflore. I hope your day is shaping up well. Uh, let's go ahead and address the elephant in the room. Jet, where the hell have you been? Believe it or not, in America, you have to like work. I don't even get it. Like, I think we have some of the best personalities on the planet. Why are we not being paid to exist? Why do you have to show up and take tests? I'll have you know, I've been through a week and a half of training. My brain is mashed potatoes. Whipped mashed potatoes, no butter, no salt, no flavor at all. I barely got through that riff-raff. And here's the T I'm a nerd. I love reading, I love information. Even I was like, ladies and gentlemen, this is a bit too much. Excuses are like elbows. We won't even go there. But I do apologize for leaving y'all out for so long. I know this is a rerun for you, but it's new for me, and I enjoy our time together. So, of course, we're gonna jump back in full throttle, pedal to the metal. It's all gas. I'm doing nothing but watching soaps for the next few weeks because, quite frankly, I have accumulated enough vacation, amen, to not have to worry about this for a while. I will let 2026 bring its own problems, but for the remainder of 2025, I am cutting up, I'm kicking back. We're watching Vintage Primetime's soap opery at its finest, and we're starting with the shiniest bunch of them all, Queen Dynasty. I want to shout out to you guys one more time for being OGs who really love the show and who really appreciated it. There's a level of maturity that I can appreciate that I don't experience in my day-to-day life. I've been able to watch this uninterrupted. Nobody's really given too much tea away. Even if you did, it didn't bother me that much because I'm like, if you're gonna run for 10 plus years, it's a storyline or two is is par for the course. Things will be leaked, uh, conclusions will be met. It's probably a little bit more obvious after you've seen it once or twice. But I respect that you guys respect this being my first time out of the gate. I am most excited, quiet as kept, about season five of Dynasty because this is when I feel like she becomes her. She really understands, okay, this is what it is, this is what it ain't. We're gonna turn it up. We we're gonna get the attention. We've been pretty for a long time. We've had some stutter stepping, but we're back in this with all the flair, all the things that people want to see when you sit down to unwind. So go ahead and pour yourself up something bubbling and bright. I'm gonna keep it cute today. I have some coconut water that's been in the freezer because for whatever reason it was like hot one day and then was like freezing. I feel like, do you ever feel like you were just extra ashy in the winter? I definitely feel like that, and I feel like it's from the inside out. So I choose to hydrate my body today with coconut water. It ain't bubbly, but you know what? We're gonna make a do with a do. As we enjoy season five, episode two of Dynasty, the mortgage. Don't even get me starting on a livable wage and a mortgage. What do you think the mortgage is for a mansion? Let's say you and I are best friends, right? We each have sprawling property in in mountains or whatever region. I have a 48-bedroom home that used to be a 52-bedroom home. That's neither here nor there. I got a lot of rooms in my home, even though from the outside, to the naked eye, you might say, uh 10, 15 rooms tops. No, no, no, baby. Don't worry about that. 48. Now I I I've thought about this long and hard. I feel like they're saying 48 rooms total. So if there is a uh a mud room, that's one. If there's a bathroom, that's two. 48 rooms total. Who knows how many bedrooms? My guesstimate is there's about eight to 12. And 12 is pushing it, 12 is an unfinished attic or an unfinished basement. But for whatever reason, this home is the talk of the town. I gotta be quite honest with you. I've only watched about 10-15 minutes of this. So let me do my thing. We'll come back and we'll discuss all the ins and outs of this iconic season of Dynasty. One of the things I've always appreciated the most about Dynasty is they don't give a damn about what I said before. I said that then, this is now. As with the other series, by and large, season five has sort of changed their intro. Falcon Crest definitely has, Dynasty definitely has Dallas still looks exactly the same, but I like that Dynasty is bold enough to give you yet another aerial shot from a helicopter of the sprawling landscape of this mansion. And the more I look at it, it was like, baby, you can't tell me there's 48 anything in there. Ain't no way. It is museum-sized at best, but that's dynasty for you. They don't give a damn what you see. You're gonna hear what I say. I don't care if you this is a thousand-foot apartment, this is a 48,000 square foot mall. Deal with it. Lord have mercy. I still can't believe they managed to bag William December Williams. Can we just go there real quick? I hold very firm to the thought that circa 1600s through probably 1930, there were only about 10 names in rotation. Shout out to William December Williams mothers for being like, yo, listen, I I I can't do it no more. Your baby number umpteen, you're gonna get whatever name. You lucky your name ain't bag of sugar. You lucky your name ain't uh Cocoa Melon. I tell you, with a straight face, I know a woman named Blondie who is narrow blonde hair on her head. I know a woman named Cookie, I know a woman named Brownie, I know a woman named Bertie. At some point, when you have 50-11 kids, you stop giving a damn by about child sex. It's like, who cares? I'm gonna call you whatever I need to call you so that you don't turn around when the other 50 other children turn around. You can change your name as soon as you see fit to do so. But William December Williams, his mother said, you know what, damn it, when's your birthday, baby? Bet your name is is is last name month last name. Get over it, argue with somebody else. I guess I got other stuff to do. So here's the thing. I never give really given much thought about recasting people. As long as the character is the same, I actually don't mind the different interpretations of said character. However, I need to to go ahead and draw the line in the sand. I was a fan of Steven season one, season two. New face Steven, who kind of looked like Michael Jackson to me, is a mother-loving problem. New face Steven is a gigantic pain in my ass. Every time I turn around, he's pouting. It's like, it's like he has a vibrato without the pain. Other Stephen, we saw him work through things. You know what I'm saying? He he was bold in his sexuality, he was bold in his footing in his family. He's like, you know what? The hell with you old man. I'm gonna go ahead and make a name for myself any way I see fit to do so. New Steven came back from Taiwan or whatever with a brand new face. He's still smelling like Barbie plastic, but he got the audacity of a man who's been wealthy for three generations. I'm not really feeling him. On this particular episode, he is coming at brand new Adam's neck, saying, Yo, you helped Sammy Joe kidnap my son. Now, this is very insensitive. It's very insensitive. Adam is a throwaway baby. His whole storyline is that he was pushed out in the rain. He was gurgling for air and whatnot. Some old broad picked him up, put him in billings. Before he knows, he's 25 years old, fresh out of law school. Before he knows, this ain't even his mama. But let Steven tell him, You helped my ex-hood rat wife steal my baby. Adam said, Listen, listen, bro. I don't know that girl that good. All she said was she was leaving, she wanted to spend every moment with her son as much as she could. Now, tell you tell me how to how does that sound? Coming from the outside in, does that sound like somebody who's gonna kidnap a kid? No, I just thought she wanted to be with her baby, that's all. I'm sorry, but also I'm a lawyer, and I also know that because this is 1984, 1985, and your country ass had the audacity to not have a solid custody agreement. It is what it is, my dude. She got your baby, that's also her baby. That's what you get for sleeping with hookers and holes and whatnot. That's not my problem. Adam doesn't say all that, but I wish he did. I also need to point out, shout out to Oregon. He does definitely look 37 to me all of a sudden. Not that there's a huge difference, everybody's face ages differently, but he's holding himself together like a man nearing middle age. Like, listen, I ain't got time for the foolishness. That's what you get for not putting together an ironclad agreement. But at the end of the day, I need you to know, baby brother, I would never on my life. I know what it's like to not be with a family. I would have never helped this hooker kidnap your baby. I love him. That's my nephew. I got very little family. I love this baby. Well, listen, New Face Steven is on his new ish, and he is just uppity. This is your fault. Anything happens, I'm gonna attack you forgetting that. Adam is not only a lawyer, he has instant access to copious amounts of poisonous paint. You could be sitting in your car. Claudia could be getting her nails done. Next thing you know, y'all are loopy, dupey, and damn near dead because you didn't piss this man off. You have to approach people who have tried to kill other people in a very gentle way. I don't know why new set face even doesn't know this. I guess they exchange part of his frontal lobe. I really don't know. But what I do know is for the first time ever, Blake Carrington remembers that he is the patriarch of this family, dammit. And it is time for the obligatory I am the father speech, and this is who we are. Before we go there, I need to reiterate that baby Danny is missing. Baby Danny shares the same bedroom as baby Blake, who, by all intents and purposes, was probably the favorite baby before Danny arrived. We don't even really know if Danny is Stevens, but it matters none because you know who's pissed off, who's upset, who is beside herself, not Danny's mother, not Danny's grandmother, not Danny's father, who just happened to be pissed off, not Danny's stepmother, who happens to be Claudia the Eastallion. His nanny, his baby mama, the nanny, is absolutely beside herself. She said, I knew that Sammy Joe was a trickery, triggery trick when she walked into this piece. Now she has stolen my baby. What are we gonna do? I knew she had it out for him. It's so interesting to me that she is the only person who sort of clocked that this woman had nefarious intentions. Everyone else was just too intimidated by her, or like, you know what? Well, she's got this whole agreement. This is what we agreed to. Danny's his mother. Steven's trying to get Buck in Adam's face this whole time. This is when Blake decides it is time for everyone to realize what it means to be a Carrington with a capital C. So picture this. It is Stephen, Adam, Crystal, Claudia the Stallion, and Blake all in the study. As Adam's dance would have it, they all have a last name, Carrington. Blake is beside himself with rage as he witnesses Stephen belittling Adam. Adam, how dare you let this woman steal my child? Adam's like, I didn't mean I didn't do this on purpose. Enough! Enough, shouts Blake. He is a patriarch. He's gonna put this family back in order because they have forgotten who they are. We are the Carringtons, damn it. We we we put on a brave face no matter what's going on around us. We we persevere. We are the best of the best. Now, everybody looking around, mind you, I said this was Blake, this was Stephen, this was Adam, Crystal, and Claudia the Stallion. By blood, only three of them are Carringtons. Amen. And and and even within that bloodline, one of them was left out in the rain in a buggy. So he don't really know the heritage of his family. But Blake assures them that you're gonna be brothers eventually, you're gonna get over the there's kids missing and crap. I got a kid missing, and I'm cool with whoever. You guys are gonna be cool, Danny will be back or he won't, Fallon will be back or he won't. Listen, we've all dealt with tragedies, we're all going through something terrible and horrible, but who cares? We're gonna we're gonna put on our big girl panties and we're gonna face the world as Carrington's. That is so entertaining to watch the scene because Crystal, the look on her face, it should be one of admiration, but it's like, God, he's not reading the room. Claudia is looking over at Steven, who's like, I mean, I'm a Carrington, but I I didn't know we had these qualities. Claudia looks over to Adam, who's like, listen, I ain't been here but a season and a half. I don't know this heritage either. Blake is the only one shoveling this thing down his throat. He's the only person who believes the Carringtons' heritage is one of perseverance. Now, me myself personally, uh if life is a chessboard, the Carringtons are 1000% pawns. Maybe a rook on a good day, but mostly pawns. It's also worth noting that this whole speech seems to be more of a convincing of himself from Blake than it is encouragement for the rest of the family. Although I didn't notice until this very moment that each of them have the exact same set of eyes. So it works. But Blake's like, listen, I'm a broke boy today. I'm gonna get my money back. Don't even worry about me, I'll get it. What he doesn't know is that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And if that woman scorned happens to marry the richest man in Colorado, baby, you got a problem. Alexis Carrington is a problem. Despite the fact that the feds are watching her, that she is under some sort of house arrest, she is under some sort of investigation for the alleged murder of Mark Deep Dimples Jennings. She still has business to attend to. Now, I admire this so much about her. She's keeping her eye on the prize. It doesn't matter that the cuffs want to be on her, it doesn't matter that she may go to prison for murder that she didn't do. What she knows is that her ex-husband's house is probably gonna be coming up on the market because he's a broke boy and he needs to extract all of the liquid assets from whatever he can. The house is a no-brainer. She wants to make sure she's on the up and up, she's abreast of every single change, every single move that he's making, and she makes a phone call that will inadvertently change her life, and possibly Blake's. But before we get too deep into that, we gotta get into Miss Deboreau. Not only has Miss Debereau managed to bag Billy December Williams, she happens to be the Beyoncé of 1984. Let her tell it. She's mentoring all over you. I guess she's a David Hasselhaus of music. Super big in Germany, super big in European countries, not so much in the US. She decides, hey Claudia, Claudia, calm down. I know you're the manager of La Mirage until Fallon appears or doesn't appear. But uh, I need to make a splash in the United States. And I think Denver, freaking Colorado is the mecca of music. It is the artistic haven of the West, and I need to be here. Claudia's like, listen, girl, I heard you sing. You tore the house down. I'm not backing front, you tore it down. However, baby girl, all I have in my budget is$2,000. You really want to perform each week for$2,000? That comes out to about$6,000 a week. You know what? Let me stand corrected.$6k equals$24,000 a month in 2025. It's nothing to snub your nose at. It's weird though, considering who she is and what she has to offer. If she has been this sort of pseudo-superstar in Europe, and not only that, she happens to have the attention and the matrimony of a man who is the equivalent of Clive Davis. Why would you want to do Little Old Denver? This is one of the questions, one of the many questions that is plaguing William December William, aka Mr. Brady Lloyd. He is a high professional, high-time, highfalutin producer. Okay, this is the thing. I don't think he's all that bothered the fact by the fact that she wants to perform. He just can't figure out for the life of him why you would want to perform in Denver, Colorado when LA is calling Vegas, it's calling Reno for crying out loud. You could perform in Dallas, you could perform in Miami, you could perform in any major city in the US, Chicago, whatever. But Denver, not that it's anything that's not your nose out, but it just doesn't make sense. It takes all episode, it takes a bubble bath or two, it takes looking into each other's eyes for her to finally be like, yo, I got business here. I got deep, deep business here that I need to take care of. So much so that she tells Claudia the Stallion, she ain't really worried about the money like that. Just make sure you have a stage for me. I'm on my Lily Mae. I just want to sing in front of these people. And I just I just want to win over America. I want to win over America with the middle American crowd. Likely story. But by the end of the episode, what we discover is that Billy D. Williams, aka Mr. Lloyd, is not really filling this whole Denver residency. So as she's pouring her heart out over the piano keys, tingle, tingle, tingle, woo-woof de-wom, la di da da. He he throws up the deuces and he walks out. Interestingly enough, Mrs. Debereau, or Miss Well, hell, she's not Mrs. Lloyd now that I'm thinking about it. Okay, Mrs. Lloyd, aka Miss Debereau, not Blanche, has made a splash in Denver. From her one or two impromptu performances at La Mirage, she has garnered some sort of fandom. They are showing up in drones. Half of these people, she doesn't know. Three of the people happen to be the newest Carringtons and the oldest Carringtons. Blake shows up, as does uh Crystal, as does Claudia. Now Dominique is quite surprised that Blake showed up. She's like, okay, last time I saw you, you had a big old attitude. Now you're here to hear me sing. He's like, listen, I was having a rough day. I heard you, I heard you got the pipes, darling. I want to hear you. And she's like, okay, good. Hang on to your pants, Mr. Sir. I gotta be honest, guys. I'm having a little bit of trouble accepting her in this show. It's not for what you think, it is because her eye, she doesn't blink. People who don't blink make me very, very nervous. I'm trying my very best. I'm fighting with everything in me not to see her as a hoodoo bio queen from Lusanna from some swamp somewhere. I'm trying not to see her in that way, but that's all I see. If she doesn't blink, I think she's putting the hacks on people. It's making me very uncomfortable. And apparently it's making Claudia the Stallion, aka the resident cuckoo uncomfortable. Is Claudia a cuckoo or is she crazy like a fox? I tend to believe the latter. She tells Blake during one of the last scenes of this episode, that woman got something against you. I can't tell you what it is, but you better watch your front, back, and side, homeboy. She's got it coming for you. That would appear to be the case. However, we do not find out what it is that she's holding against him this episode. Let her tell if she's a carrington. We don't really know what that is, but I do know that the former Mrs. Carrington is on her bully. Alexis is working overtime this entire episode. Despite the fact that she is the prime suspect in Mark Jennings' alleged murder, she's still on her bully. She wants to know what Blake is doing, making every move, making sure that she is a person who um secures his mortgage, less TD fault, and then she can go ahead and foreclose on him. But despite all that, the cops are still like, yo, you're the biggest suspect. She's like, I'm not a freaking suspect. He worked for me. What is the big deal? She's smart enough to bring in her son Adam, who is most like her. And he says, Mom, this guy's a douche, but he's right. Why did you write this$100,000 check? And y'all had a relationship with Satabal. This is what irritates me about this. Alexis Carrington has a million different relationships. What you're not gonna do is imply that this woman had this sensual relationship with this man, paid him$100,000 and then killed him. Do you know how many baddies she keeps? She has a whole, what do you call it? A bevy or a harem of dudes? She is not tripping, she is not harder for any man. Trust me. It is the reverse, okay?$100,000. Why do I need to write a whole check and then murder you? I don't need to do that. Nobody believes her. But in the midst of this, she's keeping her head up, she's keeping her gloss on, she's keeping her furs on, and she's making money moves. Alexis freaking Colby also doesn't blink. Sadly, her son-in-law, or rather, her ex-son-in-law, almost new son-in-law again, is not having the same luck. Because Falon Carrington Colby Colby is well, Fallon Carrington Colby, almost Colby, again, is a high-profile case. They're getting weirdos out of the woodworks calling, uh, insisting that they've seen her in various spots. I just saw her here at the train station. I just saw her on top of Mount Everest. I just saw her at the Statue of Liberty. She's in Niagara Falls, she's on the West Coast, she's on the East Coast, she's in Mexico, blase, blase. Jeff is going crazy, following every single lead. But the Denver Department of Polisery is not feeling the same way. Matter of fact, they got a detective who was so good. He's already put out this lie that Fallon ran off in her wedding dress. We all know that not to be true because the wedding dress was the thing giving her the hallucinations, the headache. She took that off and she jumped in the car and she ran away. She did what she needed to do. So when someone calls, as they do in one scene, we get to see where Jeff is chilling at the police station. Someone calls and they're like, Are you looking for Fallon Kobe? Detective's like, Yeah, have you seen her? Yeah, I know exactly where she is. You can stop looking. And the detective says, Well, you saw her in her wedding dress, right? And the person on the phone is like, exactly. That's how they know people are full of it. It's quite cruel considering how devastating this loss is for Jeff. But if I'm being honest, Jeff seems to be the only person who's really, really that concerned. I mean, Blake is aware, but is he concerned? Hmm, not so much. Despite his dress, Jeff is still a good guy. He still knows he's Blake Carrington's favorite. He Blake wishes Jeff was a Carrington. So much so that Jeff is compelled to be like, yo, dude, I know you're going through it. Listen, I have a whole trust fund. If you need it, and I'm talking about, I'm not just talking about five or ten percent. If you need 100% of my trust fund, I would give you 100% of my trust fund. That's how much I believe in you. That has to feel so good on Blake's fragile, fragile bone structure and ego. It has to feel like a warm bath on a cold day. Really, Jeff? You would really give up your entire inheritance for me? Side note. Yeah, you got a trust, but you also had a job for a while. You also like uh has huge shares in Colby coast. Probably not. But the gesture's cute nonetheless. It must be Blake's lucky day or his very, very unlucky day because eventually, at some point in this episode, Crystal is supposed to be at the doctor's office, only she's not, she's gone somewhere else, and when she comes back, she's able to hand Blake over a check for the humongous amount of four million five hundred thousand dollars. He's disgusted. Crystal, where the heck did you get this money? Did you sell your furs, your sables, your minks, your jewels, your your pendants, your tracks, your weave, your wigs, whatnot. You sold it, and she's like, Yes. I believe you, Blake, I believe you. He's offended. How dare you, brother? How dare you do this? I can do this on my own and usually. He starts to flip out, but then she's like, But you're broke. And he's like, I mean, yeah, honestly. Sorry. But the most interesting thing about this scene to me is that they had to write the amount out on the check. Now that's not that unusual. I believe most of us soap fiends listening are millennials, Gen X, and a little bit older, people who have who are aware of what the soap opera world is. This scene reminded me of my junior year of high school where I was flucked from obscurity to be a speaker at the the Armist State Assembly. We're honoring all of the veterans, and I was doing fine. We practiced before, we went up before the entire school. So at some point, I had actually written out the names because I'm gonna be real with you. Math has never been my strong suit, word problems are never been my strong suit. I wrote out the actual number, but day of said speech, I stumbled. And I remember my homeboy Joseph was like, You were doing so good. I just don't know what number you said. Like, don't shut up. You know what I'm saying? I'm saying people die. That's all I'm saying. I didn't have the exact number. I played myself by not writing it more than once. Blake Carrington, aka Mr. Forsyth, was like, listen, what y'all not gonna do is embarrass me in front of God and everybody on national television. Write this number out so that I can say it. Now, I would think the number would be 4.5 million, but he says 400, he says the whole government name number out, and he's pissed. How dare you sell all of your crap? We go back to season one with the million-dollar drop in the ocean. People need to think I am bawling at all times. How dare you, Crystal? How dare you sell all of the gifts and all of the furs and the minks and the cars and the jewels that I gave you? How dare you? She did it for love. I love you and you need this money. Mind you, homeboy has to raise$100 million. But you know what? This$4,500,000 is going to have to do. She went so far as to remove the diamond off of her wedding ban. All she's wearing now is a wedding man. No wedding ring because she believes in him so much. And he's pissed. Also, he's pissed because he was expecting some news about the baby, but their appointment is actually until the next day. Disappointment is running rampant through the halls of this mansion. Jeffrey gets a call from the Denver Morgue. Can you even imagine? He already, I mean, he knows what they're calling about, but he obviously doesn't want to know what they're calling about. They've asked him, Mr. Colby, could you please collect your penny loafers and your finest hairspray? And escort yourself down to the Denver morgue. I need you to identify a body. Oh my god, it's devastating. It's devastating. He goes down to the morgue, and all he has in the back of his mind is that baby Blake has been asking for his mother. Where's mommy? Where's mommy now? In my mind, baby Blake is actually asking for his nanny because he only sees Fallon two or three times a week. We're gonna let that slide since she's disappeared, okay? We'll let that ride this one time. He gets down to the morgue, and the corpse, luckily, is some other 21-year-old marriage-avoidant bride. Not Fallon. Crystal is there to pick up the pieces. Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeffrey, Jefferson, Jefferson. Look at me, look at me, baby. Look at me. It's okay. Fallon's not dead. I know, but baby. Blake is asking for her. Well, I mean, he'll be fine. He's gonna forget her. He's like three. He's he'll forget her. She's not dead. Keep your head up, keep your chin up. You're gonna be fine. I need you to plant your penny loafers on something solid. We're gonna find her. Don't even trip. I promise. Really quick side note. I have got to write some sort of blog or something about this show because Dynasty is sort of changing my brain chemistry. Yes, I have bought fine glasses. I've bought champagne shoots. Yes, I drink champagne now occasionally. Now I'm gonna have to buy a decanter and I'm gonna put bubbles in it because Diane Carroll took a freaking bubble bath from a decantered bubble bath holder. How genius is that? I think the T though is we don't have as much counter space and bathtub space as they did back in the 80s. I spent a lot of time thinking about these sort of things now, all of a sudden, like damn, I understand that this is this television show and these are props, but ultimately my bathroom and every other bathroom I've ever seen in my entire life, no matter how big or how small, the shower bathtub area is littered with shampoo bottles and all of these sorts of things. It's never not crowded, but but dang it, I need a decanter filled with bubble bath liquid. I have to do it, I gotta do it. Coming to my favorite, I mean my absolute favorite part of this whole episode is the 34-minute mark. Jeffrey is having a nightmare. He's having a nightmare, he's reliving his wedding or almost wedding night. He's having a flashback. But the gotcha gotcha is he's not picturing it from his angle, which would have been him waiting at the foot of the stairs for a buy that never appears, running up to her bedroom only to find her wedding gown in a pool on the floor, her missing, hearing the screeching of tires, understanding that that is her automobile, running out to his Mercedes, chasing her down the road in the dark of night, in a rainstorm with torrential rain coming down at an angle, like on force gump and whatnot, chasing her, screaming her name, loosening his tie, only to have some big Mac truckslash tractor block his way as his beloved runs his paramour gone forever. Or at least for for now, we don't know forever. That's what you would think he'd he'd be flashing back to, right? Because that's what he experienced. No, no, no, no, no. For whatever reason, his point of view in his dreams is a Fallon in her own car, but somehow Jeff has a memory of a Fallon driving and dropping out of her crinoline and silk and taffeta skirt and making a run for it. That's his flashback. God bless you, Dynasty. Like I said, Dynasty don't care. I don't care what you saw. You're gonna believe what I said. Clean up on aisle five. I tell you what, I know who has a beppy of crinoline skirts in her childhood wardrobe, Miss Diane Carroll. She's eating the girls alive in a sequent number as she shimmies and sings a lounge song that sends her beloved paramour far, far away. Because what does he look like being married to someone who's a lounge singer when he's representing Manula or whoever? You know, sometimes the past comes back to bite you in the butt, sometimes it doesn't. For Blake D. Carrington, it's gonna. Oh, it's gonna. So not only does he go to the bank and he gets the approval from this no-name bank in the middle of nowhere, Denver, Colorado, the guy who's telling him that he got the loan is like, yo, I didn't think you'd be in bed with your wife like that, your ex-wife like that. Blake says, What do you mean? He's like, Oh, you didn't know? Your ex-wife is the one who's holding the note on your new mansion or your mansion. Blake's like, W T F. So of course he does the countryest thing he could possibly do. He goes to confront Alexis, although she is the hand that feeds him. He says, Listen, ex-wife, you bought my house. She's like, indeed I did, and how dare you! I'm the man boyfriend. Clearly you're not, sir. Clearly you're not. Alexis says, Listen, you can him and haw and do whatever you want to do, but in three months' time, 90 days, my guy? Quicker than you can buy a Russian bride. I'm gonna own your house. Not only I'm gonna own your house, I'm gonna own your house and I'm gonna stand in it and I'm gonna wave goodbye to you and your new trailer trash wife as you collect your tings and are escorted off of my property. And Blake wants to talk big-ish. How dare you say that? I've wanted to kill you several times, and I definitely want to do now, but you got a murder trial coming up. Uh, pot calling the cattle black much? Sir, didn't you kill a whole dude uh by tripping and falling into him season one? Didn't you? Didn't you kill your son's ex-lover? And behind some just clumsy-ish? I really wish Ted Denart would come back from the dead, but that doesn't seem to be happening anytime soon. She's like, you know what? I'm I ain't no killer, but I know what I know this. I know you bought that mansion for me to stunt in, so do not be upset when I do the very thing you wanted me to do with it. I'm going to stunt. I just happen to be wanting to stunt when you and your wife are pulling all of your crap out of me and my kid's house. Okay. Love you, boo. Okay, last little tidbit. I can't stress this enough. The detective, Sergeant Roscoe, who seemed to be working Fallon's case. I don't know if he just has other things going on. He doesn't seem to be all that interested. He does not seem to be concerned. Actually, the more I think about it, no one is really all that concerned. Fallon is fully missing. Nobody's considering that she might be deceased. They're just thinking, okay, she's clearly run away. We're gonna find out where she is. So some uh brawny man in a puffer vest shows up at the police station. He's like, yo, I gave this girl a ride across country. She told me that she needed a ride. She asked me where I was going. I'm like, yo, I'm going to Seattle. And she said, you know, what a coincidence I am too. So he claims that's where he took her. Goes down to the station, and by the end of it, Jeff is drinking this cheap turpentine level strength coffee from the police station. And he decides that by episode three, he will be on the west coast doing the absolute most in Seattle v. Washington. End scene. My bad, my bad, my bad. I talked to all that ish uh Portland. Not Seattle. Dude claims that he sees Fallon. She says, Where are you going? Well, I'm going to Portland. Oh, me too, baby. Brawny man in the puffer vest decides she is good enough, takes her all the way to Portland. Jeff, at the very end of this episode, decides he too is heading up to the northwest on the west coast, doing the absolute most in Portland, Oregon, long before Starby's end scene. Alright, guys, we got two missing people. We have mild interests from the Carrington family. This is a little more Carrington-centric than I would have liked, but I'm not mad at it. We gotta get somewhere, right? Where is Sammy Joe? Where is Danny? Where is Falon? Is she cool? Is it gonna be the same girl coming back? I'm kind of waiting for that not to happen because I totally get her point. Y'all have not been bringing the heat like you needed to be bringing the heat. But we're gonna see. Also, I gotta admit, this Dominique Devereaux entrance was good, but you mean to tell me she's gonna be a low-key lounge singer to gain intel on Blake Carrington? He splashed all over the tabloids every single day. Girl, don't do that. Oh, this is one point I did I didn't really talk about, but this is what seems to have gone down. So she told us she was a Carrington, right? We don't really know what that means. I don't know if it's from his mom, I don't know if it's from his dad. But what I do know is that Billy December Williams, aka Mr. Lloyd, has helped her. She's listened to his advice most of her life, but for some reason she's not listening now. She listened to him when she was overseas, like, yo, buy this club, don't buy this club, bring in this singer, don't buy this singer. And she has become a wealthy woman from that, which poses the question: has she been wealthy before she met Mr. Lloyd? I don't really know. Seems like she would have been if she's going to all these expensive private schools and whatnot, right? They don't seem to have been married too long. But you know what? Time will tell. I'm here for it either way, Dynasty. You are laying the ground for a fantastic season. I'm into it. Alright, guys, I think that's it. That's all. Join me next time as we jump back into another primetime vintage soap opera. In the meantime, in between time, for crying out loud. If your brother's baby mama wants to go on any sort of road trip, for the love of God, reach out to him first. Otherwise, you're gonna crumble any sort of bridge that the two of you have built between each other. Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business, and keep all of your drama on TV.