S5 EP3 Dynasty :Fallon- The " Socks and Sandals ,Kidnapped Scandals " Episode

Power looks different when the money runs out and the people you love go missing. We dive into Dynasty’s Season 5 whirlwind where Blake Carrington flies to Caracas in sandals and bravado, pitching a comeback to Billy Waite—a charming shark who treats goodwill like collateral. Krystal sees the trap instantly, raising the deeper question: what good is a fortune if every deal burns trust to ash? Back home, Steven frays under the weight of Danny’s disappearance and turns his frustration on anyone nearby. His sparring with Alexis over a swamp-well deal becomes a sharp debate about what money is actually for—idealism versus optionality in a crisis. Claudia is the quiet counterweight, holding the center when grief hunts for an easy target. Then Dominique Deveraux glides in with a smile and a file, refusing origin stories while building her own—precise, elegant, and always a step ahead. Alexis, never one to be managed, fires her stiff lawyer and elevates Adam to the role of son-advocate, betting that loyalty plays better than polish. It’s a savvy pivot until the Caracas authorities interrupt her exit, snapping a legal tether that reminds us optics have limits. And in the episode’s coldest turn, Jeff follows a hostel whisper to a convent and hears the word that empties the room: Fallon is “gone.” Maybe final, maybe not—but heavy enough to make everyone re-evaluate what they’re really chasing. Come for the glamour and one-liners, stay for the fault lines: money as a mirror, family as a battlefield, and reputation as a currency that never stops fluctuating. If you’re into Dynasty recaps with wit, heart, and a little forensic reading of elite behavior, you’ll feel right at home. Share the episode, leave a review, and tell us: are you Team Crystal, Team Alexis, or Team Dominique?

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome Back And Setup
• 1:45 Real Life Lanes Into Dynasty
• 6:56 Season Focus: The Search For Fallon
• 9:55 Blake’s Risky Caracas Money Hunt
• 18:05 Billy Waite’s Offer And Insults
• 24:10 Steven’s Pride, Money, And Morals
• 32:00 Claudia’s Calm And Steven’s Spiral
• 39:20 Dominique Deveraux Plays The Long Game
• 47:00 Alexis Reframes Her Legal Strategy
• 54:20 Crystal vs Alexis At The Mansion

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome or welcome back to Soapboar. I'm your host, Jet, viewing and reviewing the Sophia Subsidian Primetime Storylines of 1984. So whether you're new to this or accrue to this, sit back and enjoy. Tell the kids it's time to play outside or out of side. Tell babe no questions, no question or concern for the next 25 to 35 minutes. Everyone else on Airside, you can be cool quiet, kicked out, could you feel in part with this baby? No more time for this note. We are watching our story. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and look at Welcome and welcome back to another fun build edition of Snowflor. I'm your host, Jack, and yeah, I've got a nothing in my head. I'm so sorry. Like, wifey lifing? Build one retained. This time of year, dude, I had a whole plan. I plan to sit back to chill, to lounge in sateen pajamas, to just sip non-alcoholic and a little alcoholic champagne. I thought my hair would be in rollers or get did at some point during the week, but then I woke up and remembered, oh, I'm fully grown. I'm a full-grown woman. I got bills and stuff, so life has been lifing, but we're we're on track now. Back to what is important, and that is spending a little time with you as I deep dive into these vintage primetime soap operas. Today we are indulging in a fantastic episode of Dynasty. I gotta be honest with you though. When I sat down to watch this, and I and mind you, I cackled. I had a good time, but by the end of it, I'm like, well, that was a whole bunch of nothing. Oh, touche. Not at all. Not touche. I don't even know what the hell that means. Wait, touche means like, oh, you got a point, right? Oh contraire, whatever. Whatever French I learned from watching sitcoms. What I mean to say is, oh, I was wrong. There's always a little bit of a life lesson buried in one of these shows. So go ahead and grab yourself something bubbly and bright, or something warm and sparkling, whatever you need to do to get right, to get good and comfortable, as we explore season five, episode three of Dynasty Fallon. Luckily, I started watching the show before I actually noticed what the title was, and I am I'm glad to admit she didn't actually show her face on this episode. I'm also starting to come to terms with some of my very toxic traits. Is it a toxic trait if you're aware of it? Is it is it like being crazy? You know, they say if if you claim to be absolutely nuts, you're crazy. Crazy people don't know they're crazy. So you're probably not. There's a high level of sanity here. Is my trait toxic if I'm fully aware of it and not ashamed of it? Yeah, it probably still is, but one of my toxic traits I am noticing, especially when it comes to these shows, is if I don't like someone on it, I mean, yes, I roll my eyes, I cuss Gary out for filth, but I also know he's not going anywhere. But by and large, if I decide I don't like you, you just sort of disappear from my mind. I had all but forgotten that Fallon was gone. Isn't that the whole premise of the the top of this season? The end of season four, the top of season five is all about locating Fallon. As I say that out loud, they're always looking for somebody. Season three, they were looking for Claudia's baby that she's heaved hold off the top. Heaved hold off the top of a roof where they thought was baby Blake, but it wasn't. It was like a cabbage patch or something. Season four, they're rescuing Alexis and Crystal from a burning building, trying to figure out who who lit that some bitch of flame. And here we are chasing after Fallon, who had a, I don't know, crinoline-induced headache that gave her amnesia or some sort of drunken superpower to drive in the rain while halfway falling asleep, ducking and dodging midnight traffic and work convoys all while not hydroplaning and then managing to disappear into the dark. Impressive. If nothing else, I'm I'm highly impressed. But that's neither here nor there. We have got to run through this episode, which was a lot of the same. I don't feel like I walked away knowing much more, but I learned so much more. This is editing jet. Quick shout out to Byron. I just saw your I just saw your message. You play too much. Yes, I'm back. I promise I'm gonna give you a double dose now. Appreciate you listening. Hey boo. I had to slip this in. I will have you know, Lord Byron, which I will only address you by for going forward. I have not boycotted them, I have fully enjoyed them. It's just you know, the girl got sideways. I've been pulled every which way, but loose. Byron says, Um, Miss Woman, where is my next dynasty review? Please tell me you're not boycotting the Carringtons. You are officially on probation until you catch us up. Lord Byron. That is hilarious. I appreciate that. And for that, I'll have you know there is a double scoop coming. Thank you so much for listening. At the top of the episode, Blake and Crystal are in their fancy schmancy bedroom in their fancy schmancy silk robes. Crystal looks a little bit uncomfortable, and we quickly figure out why. Blake is on the phone, he is making arrangements to fly to South America, Caracas, if I'm understanding correctly. They're gonna talk to a man about a horse. They need to talk to a man about some money, handle a little business outside of the United States. Now, this would seem to be a very normal activity for most billionaires, I would think, especially people in the oil business. Heck, you're probably flying all over the world at different points in time to conduct business. You gotta you gotta keep up appearances, you need to find funding. However, every time Blake Carrington leaves the country, something terrible awful happens. So Crystal, being the perceptive woman that she is, being married to this man for at least twenty minutes this year, she says, So Blake, uh, what are we doing down there again? Well, what they're going to do is try to secure some funding for his bankrupt new business. I said that all the way wrong. Blake is persona non grotta again. He has gone broke. I mean billionaire broke again. The same people who invested in the hundred milli the first time are not gonna invest 100 milli the second time. Even though, by all intents and purposes, there's really nothing going on over by his oil. Yes, there's a little bit of a war or whatever. But what that got to do with that ain't got nothing to do with me, according to Blake. There's still oil sitting in the ground. People, it needs to be extracted. If not by me, somebody's gonna do it. So it better be me. Crystal has better questions though. She's like, okay, cool, I understand you need funding and no one likes you right now. So you have to you have to think outside of the box. The box, this time being United States. But her question is, uh, so why does Billy Waite live in South America? Blake's like, well, I mean, like, he has horses and he's got some oil wells and he likes the warm weather. It's good for his joints. She goes, okay. Uh-huh. Wouldn't have anything to do with the feds watching, would it? See, Crystal is an intelligent woman. Not only is she intelligent, she has the gift of not having the benefit of the doubt when it comes to Blake Carrington. She done seen him stumble more time than a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She did that rah-rah, sis kumba. You're gonna be the best, Blake. I believe in you so much. And Denver Carrington Oilwell, one blah won one. Meanwhile, behind closed doors, she is doing all the research she can muster up without a real live computer. She is doing this ish by hand. She is being Carmen San Diego analogly, however, you would say that. And she happened upon a file that was very interesting that said in no uncertain terms that Billy Waite is a scoundrel. So her next question is, Blake, baby, how come you don't have any real friends? You ever notice that you don't really have a friend? You got lawyers, you got servants, you got kids, you have tons of enemies, but you ain't really got no friends. And also, why is everybody that you do business with either a thug or a cutthroat? He's like, Well, you know, I've here he here he goes with his revisionist history. He wants to start acting like he is Trey from Boys in the Hood. You know, I've I've I've dealt with more, I've dealt with rougher, I can deal with anybody. Apparently, you can't, Blake. Jet here has been watching this program for a good four years, and I have yet to see you get the upper hand on anybody longer than 45 minutes ever. Every time this man enters a business deal, he's getting shafted in one way or another. Yeah, at some point you gotta be real with yourself and be like, you know what? I get really lucky. I can run a business that's already running, but if I have to start or create a relationship that is gonna sustain me, it ain't happening. Makes no never mind. The plane is coming an hour late tomorrow, my darling. We are flying to Caracas to meet Mr. Billy Waite in the flesh. You can sort of see what I'm saying here. No new information, nobody wants to mess with Blake. He, of course, needs to dig deep and mess with a scoundrel in order to get this money. He is willing to do that because I mean, at the end of the day, whether there's war, famine, fire, an asteroid slamming into the ground, there's still oil in that ocean, and he'll be damned if anyone gets it. So he and the Mistes quietly fly to Caracas. Now, I'm saying quietly, okay, as I say this out loud, I wasn't very clear on this. It's not clear to me that I don't know if the world is watching with baited breath to know what Blake Carrington is doing. It doesn't seem like it, but we know Alexis is definitely doing that. So it seems like they're trying to keep it quiet so that she doesn't know every move he makes. Let's talk about Billy real quick. When I see Billy, and Billy is a full-grown man with white hair and an ascot in South America, full jacket. My first thought was, what kind of grown man calls himself Billy? And then I immediately had to check myself, so not so toxic trait, like Jet, didn't you just fawn over William December Williams not three episodes ago? I sure did. And I forgot that William called himself Billy. But if your name is Billy D, that's a little bit different. Billy crate, fwait, whatever his name is, is a scoundrel. So immediately Blake and Crystal are um, they pull up to this beautiful, sprawling. I mean, if you think about a tropical mansion, this is exactly what it looks like. It's got the terracotta roof, it's got the white adobe walls, gorgeous. Flora and fauna everywhere. I bet it just smells so fresh. It looks gorgeous. Crystal and Blake step out of the limousine and she's got on a hat, she's got on sort of a mother of the bride Easter Sunday type dress with some shimmy shambles on the shoulder. So Crystal gets out of the car. Sorry, y'all, I had to stop. I don't even remember what I said last. Crystal hops out the car and up comes Billy Wade. Looking like Jeff Colby. I swear this is his father. I swear it is. Anyway, he saunders up to Crystal and he says, Crystal, what a beautiful name for an exquisite woman. Whoop, womp dee womp, you're so gorgeous, you're so gorgeous. I hope you don't mind sleeping in the same room that Blake used to share with his ex-wife. Billy is messy. Billy doesn't understand the fact that this is wife number two. Messing up my floor. Everywhere that Alexis and Blake have been, Crystal has been too. She is sharing the home that he shared with her before he kicked her out. Immediately though, Chris will say, Oh, okay. I already hated you before I got here, but I definitely hate you now. That's real cute, Billy. I can handle it. I'm fine. Conversations are had, numbers are crunched. Billy wants to know. Okay, Blake. Seems like you got a pretty decent plan here. How many other people are interested in it? Interested in this hair plan? Well, zero. Well, no, no, not true. People are interested. They're just not interested in giving me money to follow through with said plan. Uh-huh. Billy seems to think Blake is down and out. Sounds like you're an official billionaire broke boy Blake. Say that five times fast. Blake's um me, I mean, I'm broke, but I had enough money to scrape up a trip to come see you, pal. So what do you say?$50 million?$50 million. Blake seems to think it's gonna cost about one billion dollars to get this ball rolling. But with a generous opening donation of$50 million, he can take care of most of the particulars. Get the ball rolling. You know what I'm saying? It looks good to the outside world. He also takes the time to let Billy know that listen, I don't like the way you do business. I know you're sort of a shark and a cutthroat, but hey, I need your money. So I came down here to grovel at your feet. What do you say, old pal? Like, he's not quite done having fun insulting Blake's brand new wife. So let me let me think about it, Blake, and I'm I'm gonna get back with you, okay? He needs a couple of days, but Blake is not really comprehending the fact that he does not have the ability to make any sort of demands. He can only request, he can't demand. But he tells Billy, you have to the end of the week to give me an answer. While Crystal, meanwhile, is outside, poolside having a beautiful breakfast. I I cannot stress how gorgeous this scene is. Flora and fauna everywhere, fresh fruit, she's having orange juice or whatever. Even after watching it three times in a row, I could not tell you what they talked about. I'm assuming they were talking about what a scoundrel Billy is. The only part I can really remember is Crystal basically saying, Blake, that dude gives me the crease. And she's not wrong. He's got a whole bunch of like women working for him. I'm sure he makes them call him Big Papa or Papa Grande, even though it's probably not grammatically correct. In Caracas, he definitely gives off that I probably have a couple people in the basement thing, but she can't stand him because he's insinuating that she is leftovers or something. Anyway, watch this scene three times, couldn't tell you what they talked about because I was so distracted. Ugh. So fans, Dynasy has a lot of things going for them. They've got the camp, they've got beauty, they've got glamour, they've got a a costume budget that any movie in 2025 would be NBS. So it goes without saying, they had enough money in the budget for crystals off the shoulder, South American look, the shimmy shimmy gold look when she stepped out of the car. They had the money for that. They had the money for her hair, for her makeup, for her hat, you name it. What they forgot to do is earmark a little bit of money for the prosthetic baby bump she's gonna need. Keep forgetting she's pregnant. Now, between yesterday in TB Land where she arrived in Caracas, and the following morning where she's having this outdoor breakfast, Crystal has the baby bump has arrived. The baby bump has entered the chat. The problem though is that her stuff is looking a little lumpy, a little juvenile, a little, I'm sneaking out of the house with this mini skirt. It's very much giving. I'm at the mall, I'm 16, I need these Jabot jeans, but I only have$12. So I need my best friend to create a diversion so I can outrun mall security. It's definitely giving that. So in my mind, it seems like somebody in the costume department was like, Oh crap, she's pregnant. Pregnant? Yeah, girl, grab grab a couple shower caps and some oranges, put them in there. That'll be fine. They make her try it on it. Uh, still look a little bit crazy. Somebody give me one of Alexis's wigs from season two. Give me that bushy number. Give me that rat wig and the full on bouffant one. Yeah, that's the one. Yeah, throw in a couple scarves, she'll be all right. Boom. Throw it in that girl's dress and send her out the door. So she's got this makeshift. She looks like a California raisin. A claymation freaking raisin. And if that's not bad enough, Blake is wearing the Jesus of Nazareth 3000 with socks, socks and sandals. Blake, make up your mind, my guy. This scene was so distracting. So I don't I I couldn't tell you what they talked about. I have no clue. But I do know that Crystal had a gut full of oranges, shower caps, and connectoron hair pieces, which I'm sure caused a fight when they got back. Before we talk about Alexis, we gotta talk about Steven. Steven has a bit miffed this entire episode. Now it's it's acceptable, I suppose, and understandable even. Kid's just been snatched up, he's still gotta go to work, but he's got a bad attitude this whole time. He needs an adjustment, needs a tune-up, as my dad would say back in the day. Speaking of Alexis, Alexis shows up at her company, goes into Steven's office, she just wants to know what's the latest on baby Danny, what's the latest on his sister. Where were you ever any word? Um, that's only half true. She does want to know what's going on with baby Blake and baby Danny, but she also wants to know where Blake and Chris are at. Excuse me, I said baby Blake. She wants to know what's going on with Fallon and Baby Danny. And she knows that they're she knows that Blake and Crystal are out of the country because when she went by the house to visit baby Blake, one of the nannies told her that. Stephen immediately is like, Mom, if you want me to tell you what dad and crystal are, I'm not gonna tell you. They'll tell you when they're ready. She's like, All right, fine. What about your sister now? There's nothing changed. What about you not listening to me? Here's the thing is upset because he has gone through the trouble of doing a lot of digging himself. He has personally done some research, he's crunched some numbers, and he feels like his mom should spend at least$50,000 on these oil wells in Louisiana Swamp. She feels like that's a little too high. I'm not finna do that. But he's he's like, Well, mom, if you don't buy them, someone else will. She's like, I know that. I'm I'm well aware of the risk, but you don't become a bad b like me, a wealthy bad b at that, by not taking risks. She's basically calling these people bluff. He's offended that she's not taking his advice. She tells him, and not so many words, grow the heck up, Steven. Who are you gonna? Do you want to become somebody in this business or no? He's offended by that as well. Mother, and let's let's be clear. Let's be clear. Old face Steven had that same sort of mentality. I'm going to make a name for myself. I'm gonna get dirty. I'm gonna do all of the work required to become who I need to be. So I I suppose to Steven, his success comes from. Him not waking up one day and saying, Mommy, Daddy, give me this job. He has, by all intents and purposes, actually earned. I mean, you it you could argue that he has very much earned his position in her company, even though it's still his mother's company. He goes on to tell her mom, money is not nearly as important to me. Money does not automatically equal success. It's way more important to you than it is to me. Now she rolls her eyes real hard and is like, that's the brokest ish I've ever heard in my life. Steven, get real. I have to agree with her on this. Even though I agree with him, I agree with her. Baby boy, you grew up rich. It's very difficult, no matter how true it may be, to believe somebody who has all of the access to wealth and comfort when they say money isn't important for me. Well, you really wouldn't know otherwise. Despite the fact that you have trekked out on your own a little bit. If push came to shove, you had two wealthy parents you could always reach out to. But her thing is like, boy, listen, that's that's cute. I'm glad that you're so altruistic and you're hardworking and you know everything because all of a sudden you read a few books. But I'm trying to tell you, I work way too hard to go broke, and I work way too hard to be rich so that I can help my family when a baby gets snatched up by his trailer park Barbie mama that I warned you about and tried to pay off, but you insisted on bringing her back into this picture. And when my daughter disappears, I want to have the resources to track her trifling A down and bring her back home so she can marry my rich wish was my son's son. And then I need money to buy my way out of this murder charge I didn't do. I am freaking the F out, Steven. And the last thing I need to be is poor while I'm freaking this out. So if I don't want to pay an extra$50,000 for these maybe wells, that's my business. You need to grow up and understand. You got to take these risks. I don't care how many books you read, Stephen. I know what I'm talking about. And I'm scared, I'm about to go to jail. Good old-fashioned research. It works well. You would do well to be diligent, but she has a point. Sometimes you gotta go out on instinct. Okay, so for me, the jury's still out on new face Stephen. Steven was one of my favorite characters in season one, right? I like the way the old face Steven played him. He's a little more subdued. He there was there was something so powerful to me in the way he it's almost like he was he he seemed like a wounded kid, but not really, not all the time. I'm and as I'm saying this, I'm thinking back to the first time we see him with Crystal, where he checks the major doma or whoever for disrespecting her on her wedding day. He he wielded a certain amount of power without having to say too much. New Face Steven comes off as extra bratty, even though he's making valid points. So it makes it a little bit harder for me to like him as much. And especially on this episode, because Steven was he had an attitude this whole time. So fast forward to where he's having a beautiful lunch with his wife, Claudia the Stallion, but he's not really eating any of the food because, of course, he's distracted because his baby boy has been, can't even say kidnapped. He's been taken back by his mother. Claudia is so tranquil this episode. She is vibing, she is not letting him get under her skin. She said, Stephen, honey, you're you're hardly touching the lunch. Well, I can't eat when my son is missing. Claudia says, You know your baby mama is gonna hit you up as soon as she needs a little cash. You already know this. Just be cool. She's gonna bring the baby back. Do you know what this bastard has the audacity to say to Claudia D. Stallion? He says, Claudia, get real. He leaps up from the table all dramatically. We went to the jungle to find your daughter. You know things don't turn out well, sir. Sir? That was out of pocket. Why are you bringing up her deceased daughter in this moment? Now, this would have set Jed off. I I expected some sort of reaction from Claudia, but she is Queen Quaalu this episode or Vicky Valium. I don't know what she's on, but maybe she is not coming off. She is floating, she is Zen. She simply says, Stephen, I went crazy twice. I worried myself sick more than once. I don't want that to happen to you. He just brought up your charred to death, baby girl. And the best you can say is, I don't want to see you go into an insane asylum like me. Although the drugs they gave me that I stashed away in my pillow are working quite well in this moment. I warn you, Stephen. Once this volume wears off, it might be a different situation. So watch her tone. Don't make me come up out of this seat. I wish she said that. She didn't. She is incredibly calm. How dare you? This is this isn't this is neither here nor there. You the one who picked the baby mama. You the fool who let her in the damn house. Well, her aunt did, but that you know what I'm saying. He's freaking out. He doesn't know where Danny is, and it's getting the best of him. It's getting the best of him to the point where one morning Adam comes stumbling into the house. We'll get into Adam a little bit later and why he was so drunk, but he is completely schnockered, and Steven is standing at the top of the stairs like he's somebody's daddy. Judgy Wudgy was a man in a silk robe at the top of a stair with a fresh face. He helps Adam to the kitchen where he pours him a hot cup of coffee, and Adam starts to tell him that he got like a little nervous at this party. He felt like he had to be at because it was with Alexis' lawyer. And so he drank to calm himself down, and it just got the best of him. I feel like Adam's being kind of he's being kind of vulnerable. He's comfortable. He even says, Oh, thank God, like I'm at home with my family. He explains why he drank as much as he did, and he was just sort of uncomfortable. And he's starting, he's starting to regret it because he doesn't remember everything. He's like, I hope I did not make a fool of myself. Stephen is feeling extra superior and says, Oh no, not you, Adam. Even drunk, your eyes are way too focused on on that bright future of yours as if this is a bad thing. For whatever reason, this reminds Adam that Kirby doesn't want him. Mind you, he was all up on Sammy Joe, but yeah, I write to Kirby, I call her, she doesn't return my calls, she doesn't return my letters. She's the only woman I ever loved, but I managed to mess that up. Stephen takes this as an invitation to chastise him. Yep, you sure did mess that up. You messed up everything, Adam, just like you messed up my my son's life by letting him go with his deadbeat mother. Did you mess up your son's life by hooking up with his deadbeat mother? Perhaps this is more of your fault, Stephen. Stefan, whatever your name is. Adam is like, well, damn, it's like that, Stephen. But then all of a sudden, he he has a moment of clarity. He's like, Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you something. So there was this rather pretty boy, or man, he didn't say boy, pretty man at the party who was just as drunk as I was, and he said he was your roommate, Timmy, somebody or another. Was your roommate back in prep school? I'm assuming prep school is like high school, right? He said he wanted to call and chitter chatter chitch it with you if it's cool with your wife. Basically, like I know you had a boyfriend. Here we go again with this. I don't know where Dynasty is going to go in terms of Steven having a boyfriend at some point, like of not somebody from the past who pops in, not a lawyer friend who is just your friend. Old face Steven came out twice and he was very bold. So this is this whole scene with Adam. I think I misunderstood it the first time. As Adam's saying this, I thought Adam was insinuating that he hooked up with Timmy. I don't think that's a case. I just re-watched it and it's on I don't really understand because everybody knows that Steven keeps a bad man and well, he keeps a nerdy man and he keeps a bad B. He likes a he likes a trashy trailer girl, he likes a girl fresh out of the asylum, and he likes a quiet dude from New York. So it none of this is news. None of this is not, I'm not saying it's not noteworthy, but in this scene, I does Adam not know that Steven's gay? Is Adam the only person who doesn't know? And even if he doesn't, like everybody else knows, so who cares, right? That's what I'm saying. Like it's not news to anybody. This isn't news to Steven, it's not news to Claudia. So I is he is this Adam's way of introducing Tim to the story? Because a little bit later on, Steven picks a fight with Claudia. You're always at work, Claudia. She's like, I know. I'm sorry, I just took my second volume. I'm trying to be a good mother to Danny, and I try to give you the attention you request, Steven. You two spend long hours at your office. I don't understand where this is coming from. I think Queen Quaalude might be getting a little bit boring, and maybe he wants that old thing back. I don't know. I don't know where Dynasty's gonna go with this. I know on the new dynasty, Sammy Joe is a man, which is actually quite brilliant when you think of the name Samantha Joe, because it's the feminine version of Samuel Joseph. But Adam just kept saying rather prettily. So I I you know what I choose to keep my original interpretation. Adam is like, I'm gonna take Timmy if you don't if you don't stop talking ish about me. Talking about you want me to ruin lives, I'll ruin your life. I'll ruin your life. Adam is is the only character as I'm realizing this now in the house left. Like Jeff is hooked up with Claudia. Adam has, I'm assuming he hooked up with Sammy Joe. Definitely hooked up with Kirby. So did Jeff. Jeff and Adam are the only two people who are sort of free to bed hop within the house. So we're running out of people to bounce around with. We're gonna have to bring in some new people eventually. I just don't know where Dynasty's gonna go. Steven looks annoyed, but not hurt. And it's like, damn, y'all just got on good terms again. So either Adam is being an ass, or Adam's being an ass, but also Steven's being an ass. You didn't have to say he didn't ruin everybody's life. Yes, he's a rapist. Yes, he ruined Kirby's life. I'll give you that. But Sammy Joe is all on you. This kid is sick to death about getting your kid kidnapped, kick him while he's down. But Steven is just he's he's 10th the soul episode. Did not give Claudia enough credit. She does when Steven confronts her, you can tell he's just it, it really is the Danny thing. It's the Danny thing and the Sammy Joe thing. And I think he is come to terms with the fact that you really did play yourself, Steven, by not doing a little more with that custody. Like there is no way there should ever have been a clause that she can come and go as she pleases with this child. Granted, they never thought she'd come back, but you could tell he's kind of kicking himself in the butt about it now, so every little thing is getting on his nerves. But Claudia keeps it very cute, very qua-luved, very calm, like she's on a sedative. But then she says, You I could say the same thing about you. You spend so many hours at the office with your mother. I keep forgetting Alexis doesn't like her. Well, Claudia didn't really get to give it to him the way she wants to, because the telephone rings, Sammy Joe says, Meet me in a week. We're gonna discuss the baby. That's such a yeah. So to never let that happen. God, if you just you just pick the worst baby mama too. Speaking of Claudia's workday, we need to talk about one of the newest bit players, Miss Dominique Devereux. Claudia's job is to manage La Mirage while Fallon disappears into the ether, and part of that job requires her setting up proper advertising for Dominique's residency here at La Mirage. We learn so very little in this interaction, but one thing that stands out to me is Dominique Devereux is media trained. Claudia, who is of course very curious about this woman's past, she she's already told Blake, that woman has it out for you. I don't know why, but there's something about her I'm not quite feeling, even though I'm feeling her. So Claudia comes in, she shows her the new mock-up. Here's a poster. Dominique Devereux says, Oh, these are wonderful, I adore them. However, I prefer having lowercase D's for my name. It's my signature in Europe. Claudia's like, Oh, okay, no problem. That's an easy fix. What about your bio? I wanted to put a little something in there for people to hang on to, like where you grew up, how you met Barrady, blah blah blah. Miss Debereau, with a complete smile on her face and cheerfulness, cheerfulness in her voice, is oh, the nosy stuff. Claudia, I do not share my past with anyone, not even people I like. Now you would think this is one of those moments where she's saying, I know what you're doing, and you're not gonna outdo me, but she quickly states after that, what's the boring stuff? I call it the scrapbook effect. No one wants to see pictures of me in a canoe as a kid. It's all quite boring. And Claudia's like, Okay, yeah, well, I I see your point there. What about a closing date? Do you have an idea in mind for that? Well, known. Uh, the club is doing well. I adore La Mirage, everything's going so wonderful. So let's just hold off on that. She has completely thwarted Claudia's plans like that. With a smile, with delight in her voice. It was the most polite shutdown I've ever seen on television. Media train. The funny thing is, she called this a scrapbook syndrome, and she absolutely has a scrapbook. Before I get too far off, course, I have to say my loathing for the 80s hadn't fully changed. However, Dominique Devereux's room is this lovely shade of lavender, sort of a lavender gray. She has these for lack of a better term, I'm gonna call it like a bubble-framed mirror and like a bubble-framed shelf. It looks like those plates Nara Smith uses to eat her little snacks on. But it's a mint green. You would think mint green and lavender would look so weird. I don't know why I like it. I am feeling that. I love it, but I hate it too. What I don't hate though is being an 80s-born millennial. One of the things I love so much that I've really, really grown to appreciate is us being sort of the sandwich between the past and the future. That may sound dramatic, but just hear me out. I was talking to a friend the other day. We were just talking about our junk drawers, and you know, you have the random ketchup package, soy sauce, whatever. I was like, I have so many chargers to so many different electronics. I can't even tell you what happened. Like, I found my iPod nano, I found like an old school BlackBerry, I found an old, old cell phone, like from high school. Like, oh my gosh, I literally have 9,000 chords. And she was saying the same thing. And it's like, because of when we were born, it feels to me like technology moved at a rate of about six months. So every six months, something new would come along, and probably a year and a half later, whatever you were working with is become obsolete, but you don't even notice it. So it's like that's how you accumulate all of the electronics that are just sitting uselessly in boxes that I have no use for anymore. But I kind of like being that in-between. I understand how to use an encyclopedia. Not that I'm saying kids don't use books, but I know how to use an encyclopedia. If the if all technology shut off, I could write a check, I could go to the bank. I kind of understand these things, and I definitely live through the scrapbook era. There was a time where you would take your little Polaroids or you take your picture, go get them developed at CVS or Walgreens or whatever, come and make a little scrapbook with different emblems and stuff. It was so huge for so long. So when I saw Dominique Deborah with hers, it wasn't fun like mine in junior high. It was totally different. Hers is filled with little tidbits about Blake, different articles over time, pictures of Alexis and the children. All the information she has ever gathered is collected in one place in a book. This, ladies and gentlemen, explains why the geriatric community of today is so damn nosy. They had to do foot-to-pavement type investigation. You couldn't just be nosy on MySpace or look at some, you stalk someone's Instagram. You had to actually buy newspapers, sift through magazine articles, you had to ear hustle like crazy, you had to do all these things to keep up with different people. I can admit I'm not that committed. If I can't scroll and find out, I'm not gonna go do all those things. But it just reminded me, like, God, we went from a time where you actually had to like fully research people and you only knew what was printed, and the only way to manage that would be to physically keep a copy of everything. So Dominique is doing her due diligence, she is keeping copies of everything that's going on, but it's not enough. So she gets on the phone as soon as Claudia leaves to call JJ. Tell JJ to call me back. I'm getting sick of being here after she just said Denver was beautiful and great for her health. I'm starting to believe that Dominique Devereaux is being blackmailed into something because when JJ comes, he doesn't deliver a whole lot of news that we didn't already know. JJ turns out to be some sort of PI who can't drink coffee until he gives her all the tea. He explains to her that Blake has his new project. He wants he needs a billion dollars. He's reached out to several people, but of course, nobody wants to pony up the money to him because of the whole overthrowing a country thing. The optics aren't great. So as JJ tells this to Johnny, she's like, wow, that's really fascinating. JJ says, You're not thinking of helping him out. She goes, Well, that wasn't my plan, but now I have a plan to make a plan. Now I need you to do something for me, JJ. Make sure you don't tell my husband, William December William, keep it on the low ski. And then we get absolutely nothing after that. No less than nothing about her. She says she's a Carrington, she is getting sick of being in this place, and she has a plan to make a plan, but keep her super secret plan plan away from her husband. That's it, that's all. So the scrapbook is kind of moot at this point because well, I can't really say that because I I don't know where she's coming from. My my best thought here is she's being blackmailed, it kind of feels like, but she's still very much in control. Doesn't seem to want revenge, and it does seem like she may be interested in helping him. He did also tell her, JJ told her that Alexis holds a note to the mansion. That's really the only money he's been able to get. Okay, now Alexis don't have a scrapbook, but she is definitely keeping tabs on Blake and them to make sure that he defaults on that loan so she can get that mansion back. Now she talks to Jeff at the top of the show, wondering how things are going with Fallon. He's already gone up to Seattle and nothing came of that. He went to Seattle to a hostel, actually. I didn't know there were hostels in the U.S. Somebody please let me know if that's a real thing or was a real thing at some point. Jeff goes to Seattle in its bus. He goes to this hostel, and there's a girl who looks like she could be Joe's little sister from the Facts of Life. And then she looks like she could be like Claudia or Melissa a little later on. That's neither here nor there. She's ear hustling as this gentleman tells Jeff he don't know where Fallon is, he ain't seen her. He don't know who that is. She's not here. Well, as soon as Jeff walks away, not Joe from Facts of Life walks over and says, Why didn't you tell him where she is? Well, she told me not to tell him. She asked me not to say anything. So Jeff is talking to Alexis back in Denver in their uh in her apartment and they look awfully cozy. And I'm like, dang, are Jeff and Alexis gonna hook up at some point? Kind of makes sense to me. He lets it slip that Crystal and Blake are in Caracas. So when he leaves, Alexis starts to think, and she knows there's only one person down there that they would know. She knows it's Billy. She immediately makes arrangements to go down there and visit with him first to thwart any plans or any success that Blake has already established. Now back in the States, she has her own problems. Adam was at that party because he was with the lawyer who is representing her, and this dude is stiff, stuffy, not the kind of guy you want representing you. He seems a little bit sexist, and he's really upset with Alexis because she's carrying on like a rich woman. Now she done been told y'all already, I'm rich. This is what I do. Her new lawyer explains to her, listen, girl, you I understand you're wealthy, but there's this whole campaign against you. Nobody wants to save the rich woman. She splashed across the paper. It's the Alexis Carrington Kilby story part three, and all these things are floating up from her past. The lawyer's like, Adam, tell your mama what's popping up. And he's like, Well, there's something about you having a moment with this guy. She goes, I didn't have a moment, I had an affair. And like she's not hiding it. I do what I do. And she explains very briefly to us and her lawyer that after Blake out of her children's life, although so many years ago, she can admit she has been her biggest charity case. I had to look out for number one. Yes, I I I may have hooked up with several exquisite men, and who hasn't? But that's neither here nor there. I didn't kill anybody. So Adam starts spitting out different things, different ways they can counter some of the stories that are out about her. If you want to talk about an affair, cool, we'll we'll flood the media with stories about all the charities that she's helping out with. The lawyer is not really feeling it, but Alexis has formulated a plan. She's like, yo, lawyer, why don't you calm down? Why don't you sit in the back, just chill in the cut, and allow Adam to represent me? Think about the optics. This is a kid fighting for his mother. Now, this makes Adam very, very nervous. I can understand this is a lot of pressure. Mother, are you sure? The lawyer man cannot believe his ears. He was like, You were high. If you think I'm taking the backseat to anybody, especially some 25-year-old punk. Peace out. He leave, well, no, actually, Alexis fires him. He don't get to peace out. She tells him, Okay, cool. It's either my baby boy or nobody. So I guess you're gone. Goodbye. Adam's like, Mom, please calm down. I don't think you're thinking this through. She's like, I'm thinking this through just fine, Adam. You're gonna represent me. Everything's gonna be luscious and lovely. By the time Crystal and Blake get back from South America, Alexis is once again at the house visiting baby Blake. This is my favorite scene of this episode because we have a little spat between Crystal and Alexis. Actually, Alexis gets the better of this exchange. So she's coming down the steps and she spots Crystal and she's like, Damn, Crystal, you ain't got no fabuloso, no swipper sweeper. You've never heard of a vacuum. This place is filthy. It's a shambles. I'm gonna need you to get what's left of the little staff you can afford together and tell them I want this place in pristine shape. Crystal says, Girl, get out of my house. Why are you here? I'm here to see my grandbaby and uh just to, you know, keep tabs on what's gonna be my new mansion, or old mansion rather. You can keep Blake. I want the mansion. Crystal says, I wouldn't bet on Blake or the mansion. I respect you being a good wife, but that's not gonna cut it. Alexis is unmoved by Crystal's statement, and she continues to sort of run her finger over the table, just like, damn, y'all don't dust? You ain't got no Murphy's wood soap. Tell somebody to get down here and put some elbow grease on this. This place is hideous. By Crystal, she basically just came by Twin Soldier, then hops on the first thing smoking to go down and talk to Billy. Now she and Billy have a very productive conversation. It is very clear that he is sweet on her and always has been. But what else is new? But as she goes to leave, tell me why the Caracas feds pull up on her and they're like, Are you Alexis Carrington Colbean? I am. The United States government doesn't think it's a good idea for you to travel internationally when you're under when you're when you have a murder trial coming up. I was like, oops. Yeah, I I guess that I guess that tracks. You probably shouldn't leave the country. She's like, well, I wasn't like fleeing. I'm obviously on my way back. Doesn't matter. Now she's gotta fly to Miami, put my girl back in handcuffs, and turn her over to the feds. I suppose the time has come to actually talk about Falon. So not Joe from Facts of Life is feeling quite guilty because she saw how how upset Jeffrey Colby was that his bride to be again has gone missing. So she calls him up and she says, Are you Jeff Colby? Yeah. Because you come all the way back to frickin' Seattle. I think I know where your broad is. He's like, Sweet, I'll be there in no time. I'll borrow my father-in-law's jet and I'll be there in no time. Not Joe from Facts of Life informs Jeff that Fallon has indeed scurried off to some random convent. She gives him an address, I'm assuming he goes down, he talks to a monk. No disrespect. I'm I'm not fully versed on all the different sects of religions, and I feel like a monastery in America is kind of unusual. Probably not. But whoever this man is, let's just call him father because I don't really know his proper title. That's not it. I I apologize. But uh Father Leo says, Oh, Fallon. She didn't tell me her name was Fallon. She said her name was Jeff is impatient. He says, I don't really give a damn, Father Leo. Where is she? Father Leo says, Well, she's gone. Matter of fact, you can check with the police, you can check with the uh the newspapers if you need to. She's gone. Nothing is clicking in Jeff's billion dollar brain. Jeff says, What do you mean she's gone? Well, ladies and gentlemen, she's gone. Yo, gone. Quick little segue. In 2001, my mom and dad bought me tickets to see InSync in San Antonio, Texas. We made the six-hour drive to San Antonio, Texas with my best friend and my cousin Ashtray, aka Ashtra. We got to the concert, it was amazing. My dad had a total freaking weeble. My dad is the most stable, calm, chill person you'll ever meet. He's a Californian, you know what I'm saying. But in Texas, he was mild-mannered until we got to San Antonio, and after six and a half hours, he was starving. He freaked out, he flipped out.

SPEAKER_01: 47:04

Oh, I hate this place.

SPEAKER_00: 47:09

That memory lives rent-free in my mind, but it never mind that. I got to see NSYNC in person. It was during the tour where Joey's leg was actually broken. He he came up through the trap floor and somehow got caught in between. Anyway, Joey wasn't on this tour. I didn't miss a thing. I was so enamored with this concert that I decided I was gonna get a tramp stamp of NSYNC on my back. And my best friend was like, yo, don't do it. Shout out to you, Re. I love you so much. I didn't get the tattoo, but the sentiment remains the same. The song Gone is what pushed me over the edge. I was like, oh my god, this is the most perfect piece of music I've ever heard in my life. I got caught up in the emotions, and I was, I'm not saying I was wrong. Matter of fact, I don't have any tattoos, but if I did, the only tattoo I would have would be in sync right on my lower back. Now I don't know, my back was gonna spread. Wide is all outside. So she was right, and I'm really glad I didn't do it. But if I if if spirit ever moves me, that's what it's gonna be. Anyway, if you take the sentiment of that song, that particular perfect piece of audio heaven, then you know the the singer, aka Justin Timberlake. There will be no Justin Timberlake slander on this here podcast ever, was heartbroken because he made all the wrong moves, and now the girl is gone. That's how Jeff feels. Gone. Me, on the other hand? I'm hearing the hallelujah course. She's gone. Hell yeah! I'm sorry, we all knew this was coming, right? We all saw this a mile away. After they played in her face after season one, Fallon became a shadow of her, of a person who she could have been. It is only right that they destroy her in the most fantastical way. So I don't know what went down, but all I know is that Jeffrey Colby flew back from Seattle all the way to Denver and he took refuge in his bedroom and he tried his very best to squeeze out alligator tears. Only they're not really happening. Crocodile tears. He tried that, that's not really happening. Blake comes meandering into the room. Jeffrey, what's wrong? Where's Fallon? Now mind you, this man is trying to hold a he's tried to get all sorts of resources so that he can dig in the middle of some rando ocean. All while his child and grandchild are missing. He's fine up until he sees Jeff. This to me feels like one of those moments where two people are are they they're not self-aware enough to realize that the other person is full of ish. So they decide to one up each other. Jeff is trying his best. He's thinking of all the saddest things in his life. What if JC Penney stops making penny loafers? Oh my god, what if I can't be a young Republican? What if my hairdresser dies? He's trying to think of anything that would that would induce tears, and it's just not happening. Blake is also doing the same thing. Jeff, what's wrong? Where is Fallon? He's thinking, oh my god, what if salt and pepper hair dye goes out of style? What if I can no longer be in the middle of a of all of the cast photos? What if Crystal realizes I'm a broke bitch and she needs to bounce? They both muster up as many tears as they can. They didn't have visa at this time, I'm assuming. Jeff announces she's dead. And and we're supposed to have tears, however, that doesn't happen. Blake is like, oh no. It reminded me so much of that Maya Rudolph. Where she's Kamala Harris, she's she's like, oh no, Joe Biden, oh no, and she's dripping, she's drinking like a 7-Eleven big gulp. This is what this this was a big gulp saying. Oh no, Fallon, oh no, oh my god, she's gone. I'm devastated. Good riddance. I don't care if that's inappropriate. Of course, I would never say this IRL. But on this show, good riddance, shout out to you, actress, who decided, you know what, this is a sinking ship. This girl was lame. They gave her the worst haircuts, worst storylines. She's out. Good for you. I'm gonna celebrate this. I'm not sad Fallon's gone. If you've been listening to the show for any amount of time, you already know how I feel about it. I'm not gonna bore you with the details, but I am glad that she's gone. Hallelujah, holla back. I'm so glad she's gone. Ding dong, the dead storyline is dead, but not really. All right, guys, that's it. That's all for this episode of Soap Lore. I'm so glad you decided to join me today. Forgive me for the lateness, but I promise you, I fully took some days off. I I turned off, I literally sent out my Jetta's away email today. So I'm locked in, I'm tapped in, and I I plan to get through at least six or seven episodes. Join me next time as we jump back into some soap opera debauchery. I think we might jump into Knott's Landing, probably because our snoot peaked. In the meantime, in between time, if you stay at a hostel, please give your good first name. Because if you then transfer yourself over to some sort of monastery and they don't know your government name, it's a whole thing. We don't know if you're dead or not. Let me just say that too. Everything is telling me that she's not dead. I understand the actress decided this was uh a limping lame duck and she jumped shipped as she should. But also, I don't know when, if Fallon comes back. I'm assuming she's gonna come back with amnesia. My bet is it's a whole misery storyline. Misery is one of my favorite movies ever. She's gonna be kidnapped, holed up in some sort of mountain. She's going to escape, go back to her family, and have to figure out who she is because that is the way of a soap opera. Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business, and keep all of your drama on TV.