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S5 EP4 Dallas: Little Boy Lost-The " Sue Ellen Of Assisi: Saints, Scumbags and Soap-lore" Episode

• Jett Shae • Episode 336

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A custody hearing isn’t supposed to feel cinematic, but this one does. We break down Dallas S5E4 with the energy and empathy it deserves: JR’s brazen play to fold a judge into “business,” Sue Ellen’s poised counter with facts and moral clarity, and the elegant, heartbreaking reveal that reframes her relationship with Dusty. When the ruling lands, it’s more than a plot twist—it’s a verdict on power, optics, and what stability really means for a child. From there, we track the threads that make Dallas addictive. Pam’s unraveling moves from whispers to alarm bells, and Bobby’s hunt for a legitimate path to adoption runs straight into the machinery of public image. Afton wants a real career instead of afternoon crumbs, Mitch saves a stranger with a perfect Heimlich and finds an unexpected ally, and Cliff steps into Wentworth with a title, a desk, and a second chance at family. Then Catherine arrives—polished, enigmatic, and instantly consequential—pulling new gravity into the room. We also zoom out to the meta: why Dynasty and Dallas rebooted while Falcon Crest stalled, how set culture shapes story tone, and what the lore says about creative collaboration versus personality-driven kingdoms. If you love vintage primetime soaps, this is the sweet spot where plot, performance, and backstage myth collide. Listen for courtroom strategy, character pivots, and the kind of details only a watch-and-report can catch. If you’re new to Dallas or deep in the archive, you’ll leave with fresh context and a few strong opinions. If this breakdown hits, subscribe, share with a friend who loves classic TV, and leave a review so more soap fans can find us. What would your ruling have been?

SPEAKER_01:

Right next to you guys are listening to this. It's gonna be a good time. Or at least I think it's gonna be a good time. Full disclosure. I turn this on. Next thing I know, I wake up and I'm watching the Queen of Versailles. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what happened. I guess I was more tired than I thought I was. So I've literally only seen maybe the first two minutes of this episode. So this will be a watch and report style podcast today. I hope you guys enjoy those. We got some really good fan mail that I need to get into with y'all because I have a theory and I have a mission. So go ahead and pour yourself up something bubbly and bright as we jump into the first of our Double Scoop of Dallas season five, episode four. Uh-oh, I didn't even realize the name of this. A Little Boy Lost. I want to thank you guys for contributing to the show in every way. I appreciate the behind-the-scenes tea. I love hearing about your favorite parts. I love hearing about the characters you love. I love when you disagree. This is what this is all about. We are the official gathering place of vintage primetime soap operas. And I couldn't be more pleased with the information that has been pouring in. Thank you so, so much. If you have some fan mail or you want to send me a text, you can check the show notes of your mobile device. You'll see a link that says send us a text. How at your girl? Give me the tea. Let me know if you bumped into somebody at the mall, if you ever sat by one of them at a restaurant. If you dated somebody, I'm really looking for that kind of tea. Let me just say this. As a no longer newbie but still newish to this, one of the hardest things to do is not dig into each and every character. Like I really want to. So I really appreciate when you guys fill me in. If you if you don't send a text, send an email. Especially if you got a lot to say. Go ahead and email me at soaplorepodcast at gmail.com. That's S-O-A-P-L-O-R-E-P-O-D-C-A-S T at gmail.com. Let me know what you think. Also leave a review. Go ahead. I've been watching these shows for a while, and I have a theory about one in particular, and I want to see it brought back. I want to see Falcon Crest brought back to the screen. I it doesn't make sense to me that it's never come to fruition. One of you guys told me that in 2012 they were gonna reboot it, but decided not to. That just I can't think of any show that has been super popular where there's not been some sort of spin-off or some sort of reunion or some sort of reboot. Dallas and Dynasty are prime examples. I understand that Dynasty has gone a completely different way. They're not continuing. It's the Carringtons, but it's new people, new storylines, so that we're not actually extending the older storylines, which I think is fine. That works just as well. And then you got the way Dallas did it, where they just extended the story of the family. Both of those work because anytime a drama is about family, it doesn't really matter past or present, new or old, it's going to be the same thing over and over, especially when there's money involved. As far as Knott's landing goes, because it's an ensemble cast and because it's about a neighborhood, I suppose, even though there's not a spinoff that I know of, technically there are other shows very similar to that. You don't necessarily need it to be about a family like on Dynasty or Dallas, but Knot's Landing works because there's tension, there's different stories within a neighborhood. There's always going to be this sort of drama. Despite it not having a spin-off, it is a spin-off, so I'm going to count that as good. I'm not going to count that as even Stevens if they decide to bring it back. I mean, it would obviously have to be all new characters anyway, because this is a neighborhood. People move in, they move out, things change all the time. But I'll say this: the fact that Falcon Crest has never happened leads me to believe there's there's probably something else going on behind the scenes, some sort of clause, some sort of something that has not allowed this to reboot. It just doesn't make sense to me after watching it for four years. Also, I've always kind of thought this. So I've heard nothing but good things from you guys about Dallas, at least so far. Behind the scenes, IRL seems like everybody got along. I kind of question that. Not at the point I'm watching now, not on season five. But at some point, I'm wondering what happened because Victoria Principal is never like around for any of the appearances. I don't know if she's just a super private person now and she just doesn't pop out. But it makes me wonder like, does she leave the show at some point? Because she doesn't seem to be involved in any sort of reunion. And I do think that's a little bit different. I also heard the Valen was like that too. Excuse me. What's her real name? Joan Van Arc wasn't making appearances and stuff for a long time, but she's back out there now. You know, she's doing what she's can. These ladies are in their 80s, too. I don't really expect you to be doing a whole lot of traveling and a whole lot of chatter-chatter chit-chit. It just surprises me that from what I've seen so far, I've never noticed Victoria Principle in anything. So as far as I know, everybody got along on the set of Dallas that Larry Hagman was a lot of fun to be around. They were cutting up. There's a lot of funny sort of behind-the-scenes stuff going on there. Dynasty would not surprise me if if half of them got along and half of them didn't. I feel like there's a lot of divas on the show. The biggest of all being John Forsyth, in my personal opinion. I would say he would probably be the biggest, and Crystal, what's her name, Linda Evans? Yeah, Linda Evans strikes me as the most chill. I don't know that to be true, but I do get a sense that there was probably a lot of tension behind the scenes, and I fully intend to read Joan Collins' book at some point. Because I know she's gonna spoil that tea. I know they had stuff going on. Knott's Landing does not strike me as that sort of environment, though. That seems like that would be how do I put this? Everybody on all of these shows are actors, right? If I would go from least serious to most serious, I would probably say Dallas seems like they didn't take themselves too seriously, although everybody was qualified and really good at acting with the exception of Ray and Lucy. No shade. I'm sure she gets better as time, but she you know what I'm saying, she was young. I feel like John Forsyth took himself really, really seriously on Dynasty and Diane Carroll for sure. There's no way she wasn't serious. But then you move over to Falcon Crest and Knott's Landing. Both those to me strike me as the most serious actors. Like they take the craft the most serious, that's that's how they present themselves and all that they do. But I feel like on Knott's Landing it was more of a collaborative environment. Where on Falcon Crest you have people from the stage, and they are notorious for serious, super intense. You have some thespians as well on on Knotts Landing, but like I said, this feels more collaborative. It seems like they got to play with the characters a little bit more. They had a lot more time to develop them. I don't this is this is what I get. It just seems to me that that environment was probably a little easier to be in, at least up until the point where I'm at now. Serious actors who don't take themselves too serious. Yeah, that's the vibe I get from them. But on Falcon Crest, I get serious actors mixed in with very not so serious actors probably didn't make for the best environment. That's always kind of been tap dancing in the back of my head. I know that Jane Wyman and Lorenzo Lamas were very close. That's Godmother and Godson. So I'm sure you probably couldn't say too much about his acting to her. Our good friend from Oregon dropped a little tea today that solidified this for me. Okay, listen to this. Jane Wyman's grip over the show was allegedly as ruthless as her character Angela Perm rock God Channing. Her former co-stars Mel Ferrer, aka Philip Erickson, Rest in Peace, Celeste Holm, aka Honorable Sini, and Simon McCorkendale, aka The Manimal Greg Reardon, had claimed in the press that Wyman drove them off the show. Jane Wyman allegedly had a running feud with Robert Foxworth to the point where they measured each other's dressing room trailers just to make sure they were equal in size. When Foxworth became the director for the show, Wyman demanded CBS at a cost to her contract making her a director, although she never directed any episodes. I believe every single word of that it's I either listen. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's all the TV I watched. Maybe it's all the time I spent with geriatric people. I know an oman old lady when I see one. I don't think she this is who she strikes me as. I don't know much about Jane Wyman, but I do think if you you have an Oscar, you're coming from the old studio system. There are certain expectations, there's a certain level of professionalism expected of you. I cannot imagine that at her big age, she didn't expect people around her to come totally prepared. Very serious. But then on the other hand, you got Robert Foxworth, who has struck me as very serious from the moment he stepped on screen. He takes everything serious. That the loose buttons, the aviators, the perm, you can't tell me they didn't have a little silent beef because of their hairs. So yeah, that makes sense to me. You got two very serious people who could possibly both be the star of the show. And didn't one of you tell me, too, that Robert Foxworth was almost Blake Carrington, but he didn't find he didn't like the script, I guess. Or he was almost JR. He was almost one, he was almost someone else. So I can only imagine after these shows have come out and they're successful, he needs this to be successful. I'm not saying he has a big ego. I don't, I'm not saying he's a bad person. I'm not saying Jane Wyman's a bad person. I'm saying what you have two seasoned actors, one from the silver screen, one from the stage, both with perms that can't stop, won't stop, you're gonna have problems. They're going to butt head. It's gonna be a problem. This is the kind of lore I dream about. This is what I'm talking about, Sophie. So if you got any tea, feel free to drop it in a text or in an email. Let's go ahead and see what's happening down in Dallas. When last we left, J.R. and Ellie had made their way down to the Sacred Cross in San Angelo, Texas, to visit John Ross Ewan III. J.R. had another plan though. He wanted his mama to potentially take a bullet if anyone decided to shoot one. When she had the baby in her arms, he says, Mama under this helicopter. Quick aside, helicopters are terrifying. I used to think they were really cool, and maybe they are. This one for whatever reason seems extra small and it is terrifying to me. I say use a helicopter in war or in rescue because you it's like people almost have to be desperate to get in there. You have to your life has to be in some sort of danger in order for you to enter a rickety helicopter. But I mean I've heard they're fun in a lot of ways. We'll do helicopter tours. I don't know. That's neither here nor there. Ellie decides against stealing the baby. But that doesn't mean she's she's not big mad the whole way back to Southport. So she don't say nothing to JR. Once they jump out of this very dangerous helicopter, she starts walking calmly towards the house. JR said, Mama, you haven't said a single word to me since we've left that ranch. God bless the oblivious. He's either oblivious or he just doesn't care. He can't imagine why his own mama wouldn't talk to him. It reminds me of that Justin Bieber song that my mama don't like you and she likes everyone. No, his mama don't like him and she likes everyone. That's a totally different level of scumbaggery. She tells him as much. JR, you use me. You dirty little turd. You use me. You wanted me to kidnap that baby. He's like, Well, yeah, mama, I need my son. She's like, You need him where? I need him back at South Fork. Don't you want him there? He's he's living in sin with his mother. I don't know what she's exposing him to. She's with a cowboy and he can't even walk. Oh no, that's horrible. He walks with a wimp. Must be a terrible person. Ellie said, wait a minute, let me wait. It sounds to me like you think you wait, you want the baby, but you don't want Sue Ellen back? He's like, no, I prefer just the baby. So Ellie has to really pay attention to him now. Like, wait a minute. What are you gonna do with this baby? You don't raise that baby. You're gonna see him five minutes a day. He's gonna be raised by like tutors and other people and stuff. JR shocked, mom. I figured you and dad aren't doing anything. You're old, you might as well raise another grandchild. That's where Ellie said. Let me stop you right there. Mama's got to have a life too. My days of raising grandchildren are over and done. I don't blame her. That had to be hell raising Lucy. And you see, they barely got her out of high school. She was even banging her uncle half the time. So I'm yeah. No, no. Mm-mm. Ellie tells him that listen, if that kid comes back, he's coming back here with his mama. Now JR is offended. Wait a minute. You would rather have Sue in here than just the baby? She said, absolutely. There's no better place on earth for John Ross, you and the third than with his mother. I want both of them back, or neither one of them. By the way, you absolutely disgust me. I like you even less than I did before I got on that helicopter. Now I'm gonna keep both eyes on you. Keep your head on a swivel, JR. Alright, I am twelve minutes in and we need to talk about Pam. Pam might be slipping into some sort of psychosis. She's not doing well. Baby's on her mind all day, all night. Doesn't help if she works at a store. The store apparently sells more than clothes. The store seems to be like what I heard Sears used to be. On more than one level, you can buy clothes downstairs, maybe appliances and stuff upstairs, furniture and whatnot. Bobby spends the morning talking to a lawyer trying to get a legal adoption in Dallas. Now I mentioned legality because he mentions legality. He tells Lawyer Boy, you're the last step for a legal adoption. Lawyer Boy hears this and says, Why are you saying legal like that? Mr. Ewing, I don't think it would be wise to do an illegal adoption, especially with your family name. You guys can't really afford any bad press right now. So Lawyer Boy says, Well, let me let me put it like this. You are a Texas senator, Mr. Ewing. It's not a good look for you having a legal adoption. Bobby says, Well, I can make real sure, real quick, that I'm not in the public eye. I'll quit, I'll leave all this right now. I don't care no two ways about being a senator. But this baby thing is not looking good, and Pam is not looking good, and I can see his concern. She's starting to trip a little bit. It also crossed my mind that now that Ellie has removed herself as a baby watcher, she's done with all that. It's time for her to get out in these streets. If JR hadn't talked so cash crazy to Pam, I think she would be happy to raise John Ross Ewing III. Maybe not, though. I think everybody in the house feels like Sue Ellen is his mother. There's no need for them to dog her out just because he's dogging her out. Well, speaking of Sue Ellen, she is meeting with her own lawyer boy in San Angelo about this hearing for this divorce. It is worth noting that Sue Ellen's lawyer is an elderly gentleman with a sweet head of hair. It is fantastic. He tells her, okay, it's it's all about getting on a schedule. Unfortunately, we cannot move this trial to San Angelo. It'll have to be in Dallas. And as soon as we can get on the books, the sooner we can get it done. She asked for an ETA. He says, maybe about a month, depending on how busy they are. She's like, okay, that sounds good. I'm so ready for this to be done. I can't wait to get this off of my chest. Dusty takes a phone call while Suean walks lawyer boy with a fantastic hair to his automobile. Once they get to the automobile, he says, Miss Sue Ellen, if there's anything in your past that make me that might make some sort of difference about this case, you'll let me know, right? Now I heard that, and at first I thought, oh, he wants to know about her going into the insane asylum. He wants to know any dirt that's going to be brought up in court that's not going to make her look favorable. But then I remembered, that's neither here nor there because all of Sue Ellen's business has been splattered across the tabloids all over Dallas. All you have to do is go to the library and pull a paper and she's going to be in it. You know all of her business. This woman doesn't have any secrets. But J.R. does. So I started thinking, I said, now I hope she tells him that this man may or may not have knocked up her baby sister, who also put a cap in his ass, and then she got blamed for it. And she took the Sue Ellen took the blame for it, even though she was an innocent woman. So I hope she brings that up because to me that's the final nail in the coffin. Ain't no court system in 1981, Texas. Well, he's wealthy, so I really don't know. I don't know, and J.R. don't know. So back in Dallas, Sue Ellen's lawyer with a fantastic coffee and JR's lawyer are supposed to meet up to get put on the books for the courthouse. Only J.R. insists on coming with his lawyer, which I believe makes the lawyer late. Like they're supposed it was supposed they were supposed to be there like 30 minutes prior. It's right at 4 o'clock. And when they get there, Sue Ellen's lawyer wants to know why J.R. is there. JR says he's just curious how this works. It's not illegal. They're like, yeah, no problem. Well, they can't get on the books because the guy who schedules the court appearances he leaves right at 4 o'clock. And these two fools were late, so there's no chance of getting on that book today. Doesn't seem like they did this on purpose yet, neither here nor there. JR now knows that he is in District 5 or whatever. He knows who that judge is, and he realizes that. The judge does not know who's going to be in court until like day up because someone else puts that information out. The scheduler guy. Seems like he's going to do something funny with that, and his lawyer's like, hey, hey, hey, please don't do nothing dumb. I am still an officer of the court, and I'm not going to be happy with you if you meddle in this in any kind of way. JR's like, I'm not going to meddle. I just think it's kind of funny that I know the judge is going to be hearing my case, but he doesn't know that. 100% this man is going to do something to make sure that that goes his way. Okay, the scene I'm watching now, we get to see Donna, almost called her Donna Karen. Donna Krebs, Ray Krebs, and the other part of the cartel. Seems like they're in a court. I don't know why they'd be in the court. Maybe they're at a bank. Ray has gotten back the$3 million he took from Donna and he's made a$100,000 profit. Punk Anderson is shaking his hand. I'm so proud of you, Ray. This is just the tip of the iceberg. I had to comment on this scene for no other reason than the Bolo Don himself. Punk Anderson be putting that ish on. He's got on a turquoise belt with a matching bolo tie. Listen, baby, I've watched many westerns in my time. Nobody does it better than Mr. Punk Anderson. I love it. Shout out to the costume designer on this scene. Now, Ray and the other guy's uh outfits are kind of drab. They're just very normal. Nothing exquisite or extraordinary about either one of them. Donna is wearing this almost electric lavender color. It's just so bright, it's so vibrant against the backdrop. It's really everything else is super muted. It's it's tan and light gray. And Punk Anderson's outfit is not very different from Ray's or the other guys, but it's his coloring. You know, he's this is long before people gave a damn about skin cancer. So he is tanned within an inch of his life, but it's making the the sort of creamy gray of his suit pop. They got him in a chocolate brown top, and then he's killing them, killing them, y'all, with the turquoise belt and matching bolo tie. God bless America. I love it. Love it. This may or may not be important at some point, so I'm just gonna mention it. With the profit made from this new deal out of Lubbock, Ray feels like he can now open another account of ready money. Donna feels a little bit miffed about that. Like, why do you need ready money? He explains that's just in case there's a deal. I want to have the money ready, and now I don't have to dig into your account. She's like, I it was I would never care that you were digging into my account. He goes, I know, but it's not right for a man to have to ask for money. Totally get that. Totally get that. And thankfully it worked out well. But we got a slide on to my girl Sue Wellen. So I am at the where are we at? We're about almost at the 16-minute mark. So Sue Wellen woke up and she has time today. She she got it in her head that she's gonna call her lawyer, have him come on over, and she wants to go ahead and spill everything, she wants everything out in the open. Lawyer with the fantastic hair, you've heard about me. He says, I have. I did a little research. She goes, Okay, so you know I was an alcoholic. Was as in past sense. He's like, Yeah, yeah. Okay, you know I went to a sanatorium, yeah, and then you escaped and almost died. Yeah, I've read about that. Okay, cool. Um, well then you obviously know there was other men. He's like, I do. She goes, Well, listen, that was me then. None of those men meant anything to me, and JR drove me into each one of their arms. And if he wants to get ugly, I'm gonna get real ignorant. He wants to get ugly, I'm gonna be hideous. If he wants to name the men, I can give you enough women's name to fill a phone book, including my baby sister. That's what I'm talking about, Sue Ellen. That's exactly what I'm talking about. Air him out. Well, lawyer's nodding his head like, yeah, I believe that. He'd look like the type to have a bunch of chills. Have a bunch of women floating around in the city. He seemed like the type. Now she goes on. She's like, okay, if he's gonna call me an unfit mother, I'm gonna show the world that he is unfit to be a member of the human race. Now, Good Hair lawyer, who looks a lot like Robert Redford as I look at him now, says, Okay, now you can't do that. As much as I would enjoy listening to this T in court, you can't do that in Texas. If you were in New York or LA, yeah, you could probably get away with that. But this is Texas, and this is the good old boys' club. I just need you to know he's gonna paint you as a cheating wife who deserted him and uh ran off with another man. I just need you to know, baby girl, right out the gate, this is what you're up against. This is still the year by Lord 1982. Things are what they are. We might as well be in the 1400s at this point. Things are changing, they're just changing a little slower. I'm gonna need you to be ready for anything. She's gotta. She has got to figure out if Susan Chris Susan. Who the hell's Susan? Kristen? If Kristen really had a baby or not. We need to get that drug out and be like, this, this, just this was the tipping point. This was the thing that pushed me over the head, the edge. I couldn't take it no more. Speaking of other people's sister, JR's trifling behind. Girls to pick up after the afternoon crooner Cooper for a little probably afternoon delight and to run up on good old Judge What's his face. This man can't leave well enough alone. This is what I'm talking about. He is floating around town very boldly with whomever he sees fit, but like the lawyer said, there's a good old voice club. Don't nobody care about that. You're supposed to be at home, not drunk, not worried about who he's sleeping with, raising his children. That's your only job. Well, anyway, JR an afternoon delight. Spot judge of what's his face from across the room, and they sit down and they start making small talk. JR pulls the old girl trick. Every woman knows when you're going out, maybe you're going out on a first date with somebody and you're not really sure it's gonna go well. What do you do? And maybe guys do this too, I don't know. But you have your friend, you have your homegirl call you, you're gonna pre-game at her house. Tell her who he is, where y'all going, why you feel apprehensive, all the things. She's gonna know all the T. If the date is going good, when you call her, she'll be like, Oh yeah, it's under my bed. As in you wanted to borrow something, blah blah blah. If it's not going good, oh my god, oh okay, I'll be right there. That's how you get out of it. JR pulls out, but with his secretary, so he's schmoozing with the judge, and miss after a drink, I'm gonna make it clink. And uh he tells the judge, yeah, my dad and I have this venture, we need a little capital from you. It's almost gonna be an overnight profit. The judge is all ears, yeah. That sounds wonderful. Secretary calls. All she says, it's 12 45. Did I time it right? He's like, Oh no, oh no. Tell him I'll be right there. Tell him to sit tight. He gets up and he says, Could you see Miss Afton home safely? You already know she's gonna bust it open this afternoon for show since she's not singing. And the judge is all yeah, I don't mind if I do. Boom. Step one, locked and loaded. Judge is under his thumbnail. Little blackmail won't hurt, probably. Let me watch at least 20 more minutes of this before I say anything else, because this is already getting really good. Alright, glad I finished this up. This is a superb, excellent, wonderful episode. Alright. So afternoon delight, Miss Afton is at her job singing her song, Ash One Does, when you are a country and western up-and-coming singer in Dallas, Texas, with uh with a Sancho who keeps you employed on several different quests when you're not tending to his personal needs. Anyway, she's singing and whatnot. JR's there, the crowd is feeling her. He wants to know how things went with the judge. Wants to make sure that the judge was pleased in the sack. She tells him actually, he wasn't pleased because nothing at all happened. We had a delicious, delightful lunch. We had conversations about his grandchildren. After that, he put me in a cab. I went home dolo to the all-expense paid condo that you provide for me. Nothing at all happened. JR was like, man, you're losing your touch. He's like, Yeah, about that. Um, this job sucks. I'd really not like to be an afternoon lounge singer. I don't want to be after the crooner. I was like, I'm so tired of the afternoon delights with randos. I'm tired of afternoon crooning. I need a record deal. JR, if you look to the left and the right, you'll notice that on Knot's Landing, CG has a full demo by episode four. Dominique Deborah with two little Ds and Big Billy D has a whole hotel residency on Dynasty. I want something like that. JR says, you know what? I like my judges like I like my plans. I like 'em well laid. Didn't seem like you were able to deliver on that lay today, so guess what, baby? Winners get to make wishes. Keep singing. Well. Unbeknownst to Afton, her big brother, Mitch, the doctor, was sitting in the cut. He for the first time is putting two and two together. Oh my god. My sister is banging my uncle in law? Surely this isn't so. He walks up to confront her Afton. Afton, what the heck was that? Why is JR so concerned with this? Why are you so upset? Don't worry about it, Mitch. That's all the confirmation he needs. It's like, oh my god, it makes me sick to think of you guys together. Don't judge me because I know an opportunity when I see it, Mitch. Afton goes back to her singing, right? And a lady in the crowd was hungry as hell, and I guess she the chicken wings were on point that day. Before she knows she goes to to skin it with her teeth, I suppose, and and instead of swallowing the meat, sucks bone down her throat, starts choking. I hate to do this at this moment, but this is the time for a quick public service announcement. We're all adults here, I believe, right? You know when you go out with friends and you make plans, you talk about the restaurant, what's good, what's not. Let's say you're going to a concert or a comedy show or something, a play, who knows? You discuss the venue, you talk about parking, you decide, okay, are we gonna Uber there? Are we gonna pick each other up? Are we gonna meet there? Blah, blah, blah. You make all these plans. There's going to be cocktails, is it gonna be a really good time? Okay, who's gonna be the D D? Who's gonna get us home? You figure all those things out. It is high time that we start including who knows a Heimlich maneuver in that conversation. When I tell you, Chicken Bone Chelsea is choking. Her homegirls are hooting and hollering, hell, hell, hell, Dr. Mitch runs over. When I tell you, they give him a full podcast before he renders any sort of aid to this woman. I'm like, time's a ticking, baby, time's a ticking. So he is able to tap her on the shoulder. Can she speak? No, baby, she's choking on a chicken bone. They didn't give you her whole backstory. So he delivers a Heimlich. She discreetly spits said chicken bone into a blue cloth napkin, gasps for air. Her friend's like, Oh my god, thank you, sir. Thank you. Now Mitch goes into that humble. It's no problem, it's no problem. Now Afton's watching the whole thing, and despite their little tift, she's like, Yeah, that's my brother. It's my brother, Dr. Mitch. This is my brother, Mitch Cooper, C-O-O-P-E-R, Mitch Cooper. Well, nobody thinks anything of that, but the next day, Mitch is at home eating Brecky when Afton comes over. She's like, You know your phone is off, right? Which is an odd thing to say in 1981. Sorry guys, I think I said this episode is in 1982. We are still in 1981. Afton tells her brother that not only is his phone not working, he's missing important calls, and she knows of it because she's the one who called him. Don't worry, I've already called the telephone company to get your phone back on. But um, you remember that lady who was choking to death yesterday? He's like, Yeah, I remember. Well, her husband called the restaurant. He wants to talk to you, he wants to thank you. Mitch humbly says, he doesn't have to thank me. It was the right thing to do. He's right. You're a doctor. That's it, it's probably so normal. Even if he's not a practicing doctor at the moment, I mean, saving lives is kind of gonna be the thing you're gonna do for the rest of your life. Afton's like, don't be so stuck up, Mitch. If someone wants to thank you for saving their wife's life, you're gonna go over there, you're gonna be thanked. Plus, did you see the jewelry that this woman was rocking? He's like, No, I didn't see that because I was busy saving her life. She's like, Well, I saw it. So go over there. Please don't look like a homeless person and bring shame upon our family. Please put on some well-fitting, clean, non-homeless looking clothes and go over there. I already got the address and already told them that you're coming, so don't embarrass me. Don't embarrass me on any front, okay? Mitch makes it to choke and Chelsea's house. And to his surprise, her husband is Dr. Chicken Bone Jones. He slides a check over to Mitch for$5,000. But we all know Mitch hates money. So he immediately rejects it. Dr. Chicken Bone Jones, he accepts that. He respects it even. Okay, so tell me about yourself, young man. How did you know how to stop my wife from choking? Mitch tells him, Well, I just graduated from medical school. You know, they teach us how to save people from choking and dying and whatnot. And the doctor's like, Oh, word? So, what kind of medicine are you going to study? It's like, well, I'm going to I'm going into research.

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Dr.

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Chickenbone Jones is like, Oh, word? I figured all you little young guys want to be surgeons. That's a hot new thing, right? Mitch says, I've got a little training in surgery, but I really feel like research is where I belong. And the doctor's like, okay, cool. So, Mitch, I know you're not going to take my money, and I have places to be here in a little bit, but let's continue this at another time. Let's put a pen in this conversation. Look forward to hearing from me very, very soon, okay? Nothing else really comes of it on this episode, but it's very clear that Dr. Chickenbone Jones might just be an ally for our good brother Mitch. It's time for Mitch to come out of his broke boy era into his life-saving era, and maybe he'll be able to take Lucy a little bit more seriously now that he's got his own thing coming. You can earn the money. You're gonna have to get used to being somewhat wealthy, sir. You're you're providing a service can't really put a price on. Speaking of allies, it would appear that Rebecca J.G. Wentworth has been one to her son, Cliff. Now he can get enough of her cooking. He's over at her house every chance he gets, eating a freshly made home cooked meal. And you know, she likes them. She wants to make up for being a deadbeat mom all those years, and she's happy to help a brother out with a job. It's the least she could do after leaving him with a drunkard of a daddy for all those years. You know what I'm saying? He had to raise his baby sister. It was rough. So she doesn't just hook him up with a job, she gives him a powerful position. There's a difference between a job and a position. Now, where is this position? It's at this little company, Wentworth, tool, and died. Now, the way she presented it to Cliff was, oh, my husband had this business. I don't really know a lot about business. You seem to know a lot, baby. Like you're a lawyer, you've been all these things. Why don't you help your mama out? He's like, Cool, I'll do it. Just this little company my husband owned. She makes him president of said little company. So Cliff shows up to work. It's it's a nice office. He's got a secretary, a very able secretary who's ready to help. She seems like she's gonna be really good at her job. So he decides day one, he's just gonna look over the company to see where they stand and make sure they're not wasting any money, etc. etc. So the books are brought to him, and he quickly figures out that this quote unquote little company that Rebecca has isn't hyperbole. It is indeed the littlest of the many companies that she owns. So Cliff invites a comp troller whose name is Forrest into his office, and he's asking him, like, why wasn't I made aware about these other companies? Now, Forrest is a good old-fashioned southern gentleman. He can immediately tell you, nothing to drag me or nothing. Says my name is Cousin Bennett, and I ain't in it. If your mama didn't tell you, I don't know why she didn't tell you, that's between y'all. I don't know. Her husband was very low-key, kept a low profile, but dude owns like a mining company, an oil and gas company. He is papered up. Cliff's like, well, okay, even if she didn't tell me, I can't figure out why I haven't heard of this. Forward says Mr. Wentworth kept a very low profile. Main offices are in Houston. He wasn't about all the, you know, pomp and surfing stamp. I wondered at this point how Cliff was going to speak to Rebecca after this. Don't forget that Pam has already told Rebecca several times that Cliff really, really loves money. Now, I never got that impression from him. Seems like he wanted to be powerful, he wanted to be, and it it wasn't as if he wanted to steal power, he very much earned all the power he ever got. So I was wondering all this time, how is Rebecca perceiving him? It seems like after she saw him in action, she's like, no, he's not greedy per se, but if I told him I'm rich, he's not gonna love me. So over dinner, what what well let me be clear over what looks like was a fire dinner because the boy has all but licked the plate clean, he decides to bring it up. So after Rebecca removes his plate, she brings out this just cartoonishly beautiful piece of pie. Not joking, it's like five inches high. Who has time to do this? Sets it in front of Cliff, and Cliff says, Mom, why don't you tell me you own the other companies? She said, Well, I wanted you to like me first, and I was afraid that if you knew I had a lot of money, you would only hear that part, and you wouldn't hear the part about how I love you and how I'm really sorry and how I want to make up for lost time. I wanted you to really like me first before you knew anything else. And I'm really, really sorry if that hurt you. Like she's already feeling guilty about that now, too. And he says, Mom, don't worry about it. You actually did the right thing. I've always, yes, I like money, probably because I never had it growing up. So money has always had this sort of weird chokehold on me. I'm glad you did it this way because I too, I'm not sure I would have been open to you if I hadn't, you know, I'm not sure I would have been able to get to know you first. Which makes sense. That might have just added to the pain to be like, so you could have taken us at any point, but you just didn't, you just didn't take us that that hurts. He tells her she did the right thing and that he's gonna do his very best at this company. And if she feels like he's out of line at any point, just draw him back in. Well, she goes, Well, how do you feel about me now? He goes, I feel like I have a mother, you are my mother, and I didn't realize how much I missed you. I didn't realize how much I was missing out on. I've never had like a real honest to God mom, and it feels really good. Y'all almost start crying. That was beautiful. I did not expect that to go that well. And it's easy for me to be like, she definitely needs to earn that a little bit more. I do think it's a little bit too deceptive to I guess it's not deceptive. It is a little bit manipulative, not mentioning that you've been rich and that you've been rich for a very long time, all while your children were struggling. That's that is is equally as hard, in my opinion, as coming to terms with the fact that you left and you've been alive and you knew about us. You knew about us all this time, you had the means to take care of us, and you didn't. And you also didn't tell your husband about it. I understand the circumstances weren't perfect, but there's a lot to overcome in these relationships. So I'm not saying she can't win for losing, but any information withheld at this point, it's gonna benefit her more than it's gonna benefit Pam and Cliff. But I mean, she turned out well. At least he got a pretty good job he's probably not gonna get fired for. So anyway, it all ends well. They they seem good together. Oh, after he tells her mom you might need to ring me in if you feel like I'm getting too big for my britches, and he's she tells him, I I like you just the way you are. I'm not gonna change a single thing about you. You run this how you need to run this. That's all beautiful for them, but they might need to start calling Pam over for dinner too. Pam might need some pie or something, because Pam is off the rails this episode. She might be on a pill. So Bobby comes home one night and he finds her in bed. She's catatonic. She's not asleep. Her eyes are open, but they're heavily lidded, and she's unresponsive. Now Bobby pulls the same stunt that the women at the restaurant when Chelsea Chicken Bone was choking. Nobody calls 911. I guess it's not the same thing. He doesn't dial 911, he dials an actual doctor. He didn't just shout for one. He says, Dr. So-and-so, could you come on over here? Something's wrong with Pam. Dr. So-and-so comes over and he administers her a drug. He gives her a sedative. I'll repeat that. The doctor, who has studied medicine, comes over to the house and he sedates an unresponsive catatonic woman who appears to be paralyzed in the bed. He gives her a sedative. Now, I'm not a doctor, but I've definitely watched several hours of Gray's Anatomy and the Discovery Channel. Does she need a sedative? She's already catatonized. I don't think we need to I don't think we need to deepen her. Never mind. You you feel me though, right? Well, I guess she falls asleep or whatever. So the next morning she wakes up a little bit embarrassed. Like, damn, I had a whole doctor over here. I was tripping. She told the doctor that she felt like she was in a dream, like she could hear Bobby, but she she didn't really feel like it was real. She felt no need to respond. She's the come on. That's a little deeper than whatever. And the doctor said as much. He's like, Y'all might need to get her to a psychiatrist. She needs to talk to somebody. Keep her day normal, blah, blah, blah. So the next morning, she shows up at breakfast and she's like, Miss Miss Ellie, I'm so embarrassed. I don't know what came over me. I feel better now, feel 100% better. I'm gonna go to work and stop slacking off. Um, Bobby says, Well, hey, why don't I take you and then we can have dinner tonight? She said that sounds like a plan, baby. Let's do it. And then she goes to work and she spaces out. Her sister's calling around at some point during the day. She calls Bobby because Pam said that she was going to her boss's office, but that's been over an hour ago. And her boss called and said she never showed up. And this is, mind you, this is just a couple of floors up. It's like one or two floors above where Pam's office is. So she couldn't have gotten lost. Maybe she decided she was going to lunch. I don't really know. She's tripping. So Bobby ends the episode in a panic, wondering where she's wandered off to, because we'll get to that here in a second. She's been completely different all season. All four episodes, she's been a little bit off. But this episode, she is way, way, way, way off the rockers. So we don't know where she has stumbled upon to. We don't know where she has ran off to. But as one sister floats out of frame, another one floats in. So Cliff and Rebecca are leaving Rebecca's apartment. They're headed out to different places. Cliff's gonna drop her off downtown. She has a meeting. He's gonna go back to work. When you hear this cab come tearing up the little driveway and it's honking its horn, this youngish brunette girls with eyes just like Rebecca's hops out of the cab. Rebecca hugs her. Oh my girl, girl, come here, come here. She says, This is Cliff Barnes. The girl knows who this is. She says, Oh my god, I've heard so much about you. So wonderful to meet you. Cliff's looking like, okay, who this is? Rebecca says, Cliff. This is Catherine, my daughter. Your sister. I'm saying it now, Catherine's trouble. Catherine gave me the he be gb. She gave me the full on creeps. I can't quite put my finger on what what on what it is. I don't like it. You guys already know my theory about a relative coming into town. No good deed comes from this. Although I think I might have to revise that thought process for Dallas. Seems like JR is the only villain you really need on this show. But whenever a brand new relative shows up, i.e. Kristen, big trouble. Afton's not she's trouble, but not really to anyone other than herself. And maybe Sue Ellen, if Suelen took it personal. But yeah. We got a brand new sister in town, and sh I don't like it. This sister has money. This sister's power. This sister might not like sharing. And I think she was kind of into cliff. It made me a little bit uncomfortable. But also I think she might be a little cuckoo too. And that's gotta come from Rebecca's side because Pam's not even Digger Barnes' daughter. Or I guess that could come from her other daddy's side. Neither here nor there, neither here nor there. Okay, let's get down to business. Let's get down to the showdown. Back to JR. So JR is back in the semi-good graces of his mother, and one morning at breakfast, he immediately fumbles at Grace by announcing that he has plans to more or less buy off the judge. He tells his mama that he's gonna bring the judge, who's over the proceedings, into a new business venture. Now Ellie listens objectively and she says, JR sounds mad illegal. He's like, No, Mama, it's gonna mean it's not illegal. It's business. If we have a business deal, what's wrong with that? I can do business with whoever I want. Plus, my hearing isn't enough for another couple of weeks. It is what it is. What he's leaving out is the fact that the judge does not know that he's over JR's proceedings. He has no clue. And it is a judge that they know, that the family knows. So JR is banking on the judge getting in bed with him with this new business deal, being satisfied with the business deal, and then poop one morning he's gonna show up to work and be like, oh, J.R. Ewing is in court today. What is he gonna do? He didn't really have a choice. And it's not bribing. He's saying he's technically right, it's not illegal because the judge is none the wiser. But on JR's part, it is totally illegal. Anyway, at some point during the day, he gets a call, and mind you, he thinks that their hearing is not gonna be for another couple of weeks. No, whoever's on the phone's like, yo, your trial is tomorrow, so be ready. So back to that morning. Morning of the trial is the same morning that Pam. No, it's the next whatever. That morning. Okay, I need to clear up something. So Pam and Bobby go into town together. I'm assuming that must have been the day before. So this on this fresh new day, this is the day she's gonna wander off into the ether, and we'll figure out where she is next episode. On that morning, she's outside having breakfast, and they're talking about the trial coming up, and J.R. starts mouthing off to her, like, Well, you know, this is halfway your fault. If you weren't so crazy and had you not kidnapped my son, none of this would be going down. And she's like, Dang, you're all hard. You're a good man. He says something else slick, and Bobby threatens to stump a mud hole in him if he disrespects his bribe woman again. J.R. decides it's in his best interest to keep his mouth shut. Fast forward to the trial. So, so unpredictably at the trial, J.R. Lawyer, plays up the abandoned father angle. This man this woman ripped this child from this man's arm. She had him kidnapped, she ran away to be with another man. She's being super immoral. It's not good for the kid. The kid needs to be home with his pops, lest he be further traumatized and exposed to his mother's moral behavior. Now Sue Ellen's good hair lawyer insists that although Sue Ellen and John Ross are living at the Sacred Cross in San Angelo, they have separate sleeping quarters because this family is wealthy and she and Mr. Dusty do not share a bed. All morals are intact. No need to worry. He answered that blame JR and his lawyer for being like, pfft, you're right. They've already discussed. They've cheated on each other. We're not gonna drag each other's name in the mud, but I mean it seems like a likely story. Good hair lawyer says I have sworn statements from all of the house staff that corroborate the story. They are not sharing a bed. JR is lawyer like quit lying. Quit playing. You think a house staff is gonna go against the people who signed a check? Yeah, that's not happening. That's real stable. So the lawyer looks at Sue Ellen. Sue Ellen turns and looks at Dusty. Dusty's daddy looks at Dusty who's still looking at Sue Ellen. Dusty subtly nods his head as to say, Go ahead, baby, tell. Sue Ellen looks at him with love and a little bit of sadness in her eyes. She kind of looks like dang, I don't want to. And then she turns back, she looks at her lawyer who's still looking at her. She gives him the nod. Lawyer goes on to ever so gently explain that the good Dusty was in a terrible, terrible accident. Twas the love and devotion of Sue Ellen that made him crawl over the majestic mountain landscape of San Angelo back to the Southern Cross to heal. Only that wasn't enough. He watched his beloved from afar, found the strength to love her physically by walking, not physically in the other way. You know what I'm saying? Her love was the antidote. The strength in his spine and his legs and his muscles and the synapses and his brain that tell him to fire the legs and the spine and all that. Yeah, she did all that. Love, pure unadulterated love. But her love was not strong enough to strengthen his other love. Well, it is, but it's not, but it's not. You know what I'm saying? Basically, good hair lawyer eloquently puts what I cannot. He says, the accident rendered him impotent. They do not share a bed, and they will never share a bed. They'll never share children, they'll never have intimate moments like that. They are going to have a sexless but not loveless marriage. So my good sister Sue Ellen, and the love she and Dusty share, it is it's pure. Comes from a good place. She unshackled herself from the oppressive and depressive cage of despair that was her marriage to JR. She didn't leave her husband for the pleasures of the flesh. She renounced them. She is showing her son the finest example of true love and action. The purest love and devotion he'll ever see in his life. Now the rest of the court is like, dang. Really? Dang. It's like that. Now I don't know what to think of this scene. It's not embarrassing. Nobody should be embarrassed about that. You know what I'm saying? But it's still nobody else's business. I understand they had to play that card in order to sort of clear her name and everything the lawyer said is true, but also it ain't nobody's business. The judge goes into his chambers to read over all this to really put everything into perspective, and you're left wondering, is this the good old boys' club where man in Dallas had his kid kidnapped by his soon-to-be ex-wife, something needs to be done, bring the baby back where it belongs, or is the judge more like Ellie who thinks the baby needs to be with his mom? There's no reason why he shouldn't be with his mom, she's not hurting him. Plus, on top of everything else, Sue Ellen really don't want to be with your ass, so she'd rather be with the man who she will never be intimate with. Because it ain't about that, really. You might as well have a good life with the man versus having a few hot and bothered moments every eight years or so. Actually, the more I say this out loud, this probably wasn't that difficult of a choice. The judge comes back from his chambers and he says, temporary alimony is rewarded to Sue Ellen Ewing in the amount of five thousand dollars a month, which comes out to sixteen thousand seven hundred ninety-four dollars a month in today's money. She also retains temporary of custody of John Ross Ewing the third. Child support every month is$1,000 hairs, which turns out to be about$3,359 hairs in money today. So our girl is walking away with almost$20k a month, which is$6k back in the day. But about$20K a month. Plus, she gets she's already booed up with a rich man. Jackpot baby. But she deserves it. It ain't about the money at this. I'm sure she'd be happy with two, three dollars. Whatever it takes to not be up under you, I'll take it. Alright, guys. That was a good episode, right? That's a lot happening now. So I'm surprised that we're only four episodes into the season and they're already like clearing space. Kind of sounds like Sue Ellen's not going back. Kind of sounds like Pam needs to be in an institution for a little bit. Bobby better, I don't know where they they need to travel outside the U.S. and get a baby. Or maybe a surrogate at this point. I don't know. They got options, they got money. There's ways around this. Plus, Rebecca JG went and worked, it was loaded. So if if we need a surrogate or two, let's do that. But we gotta get this girl a baby. Plus, I'm all but convinced that Jesse Metcalfe is their son. He's gotta be. He's gotta be. I hadn't watched New Dallas, but that's what I think. Alright, guys. Oh, also, also, also. If you listen through the whole show and you heard my theories about Dallas and Pam, what's her name? Victoria Principal, if I'm right, don't tell me. Or at least don't tell me till it gets close. I've gotten this far, which is a miracle, the way things work nowadays. It is a miracle that I've gotten this far, and I don't know what I still don't know much, but that is through effort. Takes a lot of effort to avoid things you love. But y'all let me know. Any thoughts on this episode? Any thoughts on the podcast in general? Any thoughts on any other shows that are popping up? Let your girl know. Oh, also, if any of these people who star in these soap operas are in anything else that you think I might be interested in, please let me know. I do find a little bit of comfort in being able to see them in other things and watch those freely. Like I can binge the other shows. I can't do this one. All right, guys, I think that's it. That's all for this episode. Join me next time as we jump into season five, episode five of Dallas. And then we'll be back to our regularly scheduled program. We're gonna shovel it up. I think we're starting off with Dynasty after that. In the meantime, in between time, find a friend who knows the Heimlich maneuver. You do not have time to give a dissertation while I'm choking. Okay? Get your girl some oxygen, then we can talk all we want after the fact. Stay hydrated, stay moisturized to your food. It's so embarrassing to be a 38-year-old woman choking on chicken bones and the wings of popping. Get it together, chelsea chicken. Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, microbones.