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S5 EP5 Dynasty: The Trial- The Creature Comforts and Chump Change Checks" Episode

• Jett Shae • Episode 338

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The gavel drops and the masks slip. A murder on a balcony, a mother in couture behind bars, and a son who might hold the truth—this hour turns a courtroom into a stage and every line into leverage. We pull apart the spectacle with a focus on motive over melodrama: Adam’s cool-headed strategy reframes a six-figure blackmail check as pocket change, the prosecutor leans on character, and a weary judge presides as if scandal were oxygen. When Alexis begs optics to behave and the press prowls for blood, Dynasty reminds us that wealth is a story as much as it is a balance sheet. We also widen the frame: a detour through the modern reboot reveals how Atlanta’s tech billions and renewable ambitions remix the Carrington myth without losing the spark. Fallon is sharp and self-possessed, Steven reads more buttoned-up against louder personalities, and Sam steals scenes with disarming candor. That contrast makes the original feel even more dangerous—prime-time soap as night-blooming flower, all perfume and poison. At the mansion, Krystal’s grief clarifies everything. She wants accountability after being dragged—literally and emotionally—and she finally says it out loud. Dominique Devereaux enters like a verdict in sequins, carrying a family claim that could redraw the Carrington tree. Meanwhile Jeff drinks, Steven swings, and the house trembles under old money and new truths. Then the twist: the prosecution calls Steven to the stand. Did he see a push, or only a posture? Memory, loyalty, and legacy tangle under oath, and the cliffhanger lands where Dynasty lives best—between love and power, under unforgiving lights. If you’re hooked on soapy trials, legacy reveals, and reboot-versus-original heat, hit follow, share this episode with a friend who loves prime-time drama, and leave a review with your theory about that balcony moment.

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Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome or welcome back to Soap Lord, the official gathering plates for newbies, novices, and OG Dinhar fans of the Golden Age of Primetime. I'm your host, Jeff, still viewing and reviewing the Sophia's Debius Primetime storyline of 1984. You gotta go to court, y'all. Put on your dynasties finally as we jump into the brand new old episode. So whether you're new to this or new to this, sit back and enjoy. Tell the kids it's time to play outside or out of sight. Don't bave no questions, suggestions, or concerns for the next 25 to 45 minutes. Everyone else in your shop will be cool. What do you think about it? Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls this is Soap. Hello, gorgeous. Welcome or welcome back to another fine full edition of Soaploor. I hope your day is shaping up well. Mine is fantastic. It is wonderful, it is amazing, and I hope yours turns out that way too. Go ahead and buckle in. Wait, let me make sure that's right. I was a little bit surprised when I saw that this was episode five, so yeah. We're even Stevens across the board. This one is one for the books. Season five, episode five, the trial. I I'm all but convinced this is the fourth time Dynasty has used that same title. Although each and every one of our shows, except Knott's Landing, thank God, has been in court more time than a little bit. Go ahead and pour yourself up something bubbly and bright because you need it. We got a lot to talk about today. I did my side quest and ended up watching several episodes of Brand New Dynasty, and I got a brand new outlook on the old. Go ahead and get comfortable, friends. We got a lot to talk about today. Maybe I have a little cabin fever. Maybe I'm just glutton for punishment, but today I decided I'm going to stick with my regular, which is my non-alcoholic champagne, because at the time of this recording, it is 11 in the morning. What do I look like drinking real champagne this early? I have an entire day ahead of me. But you know what, soap fiends? You do you. I actually hope somebody's drinking a mimosa as they listen to this. I hope you're doing something fun. Just do it at home or make sure you have an Uber driver, okay? We don't need everybody going to court. But because it's cold outside, I decided, well, I need something warm. I got a little something going on for me. I have jalapeno chips because why not? What I thought was a pink lady apple, it's actually a nectarine, turned out delicious. And a gas station cappuccino. I'm begging for indigestion today, so don't be me. Be better than me today. But at least I'm doing something right. I am watching Original Dynasty after I've watched New Dynasty. Let me say this. I absolutely, without question, prefer the old Dynasty. Not old, let's say original. I prefer the original. But it was sort of this weird juxtaposition for me because I feel like I feel so grown watching the new one. I wasn't super judgy. I went into it with an open line. And I like the changes they've made. Instead of being in Denver, they are in Atlanta. Instead of this being Denver, Carrington, obviously, that's not where they are. It is Carrington Atlantic. They have spread the company far and wide. They're jumping into renewable energy. They're doing a lot of things that still make sense today. And it makes a whole lot more sense for them to be in Atlanta. Love it, love it, love it. However, me, Jet, the self-proclaimed 80s hater, still don't love it a lot. I was sticking my nose up at the fashion on the new one. I was like, oh my God, they're just not even close. They couldn't even do it. Let me all of let me be real. I'm the same age as these people on the show, but I feel like I am a full-grown woman. I have lived through the 60s, 70s, and now the 80s. So I can tell these little youngins what they're doing wrong. And quite frankly, God, I can't even believe I'm admitting this. Was the 80s fashion on Dynasty specifically? Dynasty and Falcon Crest better than the fashion on the new one? Yeah. Were they lovely? Yeah, they were, but it just didn't look as expensive. Anyway, I had a good time. Three top takeaways. Surprisingly, number one, watching the new one made me appreciate the fact that I'm watching the old one in the style that I, excuse me, the original, the way that I am. I'm glad I didn't binge them. I'm glad I've watched them slowly and I've watched them a couple times. So I feel like an original fan. I feel like I have one of the best positions on Earth right now because I am watching the original. It's very fresh on my mind. And I can see all the little winks and nods that they have given to the original. And I think a lot of people might not have caught that. I also wonder if the original audience went back and watched this new one. I know me as a 90210 fan, I wasn't a huge fan of the new reboot. It was okay, but it just it hit so differently for me. I couldn't recreate that magic, but I feel like by watching this and doing this podcast, I'm really, really enjoying it. It is such a ride. So I would suggest those of you who have not watched it, who are watching the original with me in real time, do a little double dipping. It was fun. It also felt really good to be able to binge a little bit. I promised four episodes. I definitely watched five. I'm gonna go back and watch six and seven because now I'm invested. But the second takeaway that I got is that you can definitely remix something and make it more modern and it and it it still holds the same power. I like the way they've done this story. They change where Crystal comes from, how she entered the company. She wasn't a secretary this go round, she's actually a PR person, which makes a lot of sense. So when things begin to fall apart, and once she's in the Carrington clan, it makes a whole lot more sense. It makes their their close-knitness seem more genuine. I will say this Steven and she got along right away from the beginning on the original, and they do on this one as well. However, there's so much going on. I buy their closeness more because of what they need to do in order to help each other. Like immediately, sacrifices are made. Crystal is not this spotless lamb in the middle of the savage war this time. She is a real life woman with a real life past with real life problems. The the Carringtons are their ruthlessness this time, it makes a lot more sense. It's it's a lot more obvious. It's just wonderful. I I really do like where they go with it. The only thing I had a little bit of an issue overcoming, oddly enough, is what I like to call the CW wax. Think stay with me here. You know how you go to the grocery store and if you don't buy organic, you get the apple with a little bit of the wax film on it that they they put to whatever out, I guess, bugs and stuff. If you grew up watching any show on the CW, although they are dramatic, although they are very good, although they are scandalous, they're taking it to the umpteenth level. The language isn't as rough. I mean, they're not explicitly like using the F-word, there's no nudity, but anything on the CW could definitely be on HBO, but there is this sort of wax residue that keeps it from going to that level. It doesn't make it corny, it doesn't make it childlike, but there's just a little layer of something uh sweet and a little bit slightly sitcommy. I don't know if I'm describing this right, but if if you've if you've watched a show on C on the CW and then you watch something on HBO, you know exactly what I'm saying. Even if you watch the CW and then you watch ABC, it's the thing, it's the difference between a daytime soap and a nighttime soap. There's just sort of some subtleties that happen that make the nighttime a little bit more intense. They take it a little further. I felt that on this new version of Dynasty. I'm not sure where it came on. I do kind of it looks like it was maybe on the CW by the way it was shot. When I originally started watching Dynasty, I came into this blind, not knowing that the 80s got down like that on national television. I expected a little more Brady Bunch sitcom, almost daytime storylines with a little bit of violence. And they didn't give me that. They gave me what they're giving now. I would say the new C the new version has a little bit more of that wax on it than the old version. I was not expecting the CW wax, the daytime soap wax, the almost rated R wax, but we have to not go there. We're gonna make this rated R, but we're gonna be on the lighter end of R. You get it? You know what I'm saying? Fallon Colby, excuse me, Fallon Carrington on the new one is exactly, exactly who I thought she was gonna be. Love her. I don't know who this woman is. She looks like Lindsay Lohan, which makes me happy. I immediately trusted her acting when I saw her face. She is fun, she is smart, she understands who she is, she understands what power is, and she's not afraid to say, you know what, daddy? I love you, but it's all. Oh my god, I'm getting so excited. I was cheering the entire time watching it. Love it with them being in Atlanta. We got the blacks and gazes out heavily in the story, not in the periphery. Money is is not just old money. Jeff Colby is a tech billionaire. That's awesome, right? I'm like, oh my god, yes. Standing on his own, there's no Uncle Cecil so far. It is fantastic. I will say this though, I prefer, sadly enough, I prefer old Jeff to new Jeff for some reason. I don't know why I'm not feeling him. I I I've never liked Jeff. Let's be real. I don't like him because he's Jeff Kove. But they brought back Messi Michael. Y'all remember Messi Michael from the first season? The chauffeur? Well, listen, he is fine this time. He is chocolate. And him and Fallon go together real bad. That's her boo scheme. Everybody is God, not necessarily ruthless. She is Blake's Blake definitely is. Steven is a lot nerdier on this one. I actually had to take a step back and think about it. Is Steven nerdier on this one, or is everybody nerdy on the old one to me? And I think everybody is nerdy on the old one to me, so he doesn't really stand out as a geek. But on this one, he seems a little bit dweebish. This real buttoned up, real stunned up. The real star of this, so far to me, is none other than Sam, who's not Samantha Joe. I guess he's Samuel. Samuel Joe. Listen, he is he is everything. I like this character so much because he's unapologetic for doing whatever he needs to do. He is not necessarily a hero, he's not necessarily a villain, but what he is is what no one else on the show is. He's self-aware. He is an honest thief. I did this, I did it because of X, Y, and Z. I didn't mean to. I'm gonna let you know right away I did it. I also lied about this. I also did this to get in here. I hope you can forgive me. This is where I'm at. And he's Crystal's only like true, true friend here. It's so good. I'm enjoying it thoroughly. The whole point of me watching it is to see if Fallon is who I thought she is. Fallon is exactly who you would want her to be there. I have to take into account, too, that in the 80s, as I learned, women were not in the workhorse as long as they have men now. That is something that I it is a piece of privilege that I get to hold. I didn't really think about that going into this. I like that it's still the same struggle. It's still her dad really wants Steven or someone else to take over the company. It's like he appreciates who she is, but he doesn't think she's ready. And she's like, okay, cool. I am ready. And I'm gonna show you that I'm ready. And so far, she has not disappointed. It has been good. Her and Crystal's fights are iconic for today. They're wonderful. But no Alexis yet. And that's alright. I don't know how they're gonna play that in. I don't know how that's gonna work if new Jeff Colby is a tech billionaire. His uncle probably wasn't a billionaire. Doesn't sound like he had much money before this. So maybe she's not a Colby this girl around. I don't know. I don't know, but I know I like it. However, nothing, and I do mean nothing, that they ever redo will hold a candle to what I'm watching now. It's been that wonderful. Okay, let's jump into this trial because we have some other surprises. We have some some Dynasty's iconic revisionist history. You know how they like to rewrite stuff. This episode is no exception. At the top of the episode, we are blessed with a scene from the iconic Alexis Carrington Colby, who is still in jail. I I tend to keep forgetting that. She is visited by her son Adam, who has taken over completely as her one and only attorney for this trial, this murder trial, for the death, we won't call it a murder, of Mark Jennings. Now, we, the audience, know it was probably that uh Luth for hire whose name escapes me at the moment in that weird carpet jacket, the tipped Mark over the edge. Maybe Mark sneezed and fell over. We don't really know, but this episode explores it a little deeper. So Adam walks in, and Adam is faced with a very important task. Not only is he tasked with keeping his mother out of the electric chair, he is sort of raising her in this scene. A lot of like uh videos of people going around saying how hard it is to raise their parents. Luckily, I'm not there yet. I do have to guide them away from something sometimes. My mom called me and said, she got this like weird call about some money that needed to be deposited. And I'm like, mommy, don't just you know good and well, that's not nothing. Just leave it alone. Stuff like that. Adam, on the other hand, his mother is Alexis Carrington Colby, who is rich, who is fabulous, who is already cutting up in jail. She has convinced somebody to let her decorate her cell, much like bad girl Melly Mel's. I have to say, Melly Mel's cell is much better. Let me take a moment to recognize the badness that is our bad girls' club. I forgot we had two of the baddest baddies as new jailbirds. And you know what? They are behaving exactly like you would think. I thought Melissa's looked better. Melissa at least had the bedding. I think she had a couple posters up on the wall. Her outfit was a little cuter. But Alexis is doing the best she can. She had somebody bring in some very plush pillows. She's got some lukewarm room temperature champagne in her sink. She's got a fresh tin of caviar with a tray of other acutre monsters she needs to survive. And Adam walks in like, Mama, the whole world is watching. The last thing you need to do is look like this privileged, spoiled woman, not taking this trial seriously. And she's like, I'm not an animal, Adam. I can't eat the food here. These are simply creature comforts. I'm a human being for crying out loud. Why shouldn't I have what I need to survive? I'd never heard that term. I absolutely loved it. Serial comforts contribute to the physical ease and well-being, such as good food and accommodation. Kate boner and creature comforts will be worked into my vocabulary every single week, henceforth and forevermore. It's also funny to me that Alexis's setup is my exact recording setup today, except my caviar is jalapeno chips. My throw pills are not nearly as expensive, but I understand this room temperature champagne is gonna get it done every time. Adam is not impressed. Matter of fact, he's very concerned. Mommy, think about the optics. We have a reporter snooping around, reporting on everything you do, and we have a whole new lawyer guy ready to continue to keep his foot on our necks if we're not careful. What Adam is saying without saying it before he has to say it is that you're extra, you are a lot, and I need you to tone it down just a little bit, just for a little while. But what he says to her is, Mom, I know that you picked me because you think you can run all over me. I need you to understand one of two things. Number one, I am your son. I will only be trifled with for so long. You better keep it easy, you better keep it cute, or I will walk out. Number two, I am a real life lawyer. Like I do this for real. So I need you to let me do what I need to do without a whole lot of interference. She's like, listen, baby, I know, I know. I'm taking it serious. I promise, I really am. I don't want to die, I don't want to go to the electric chair, so I promise I will listen, but also I have suggestions. I can't help but be a director from time to time. I just need you to respect that. He's like, I need you to respect what I do. We're gonna be cool. Meanwhile, back at the mansion, the other brother, Steven, old face, new face Steven, is still testy. Adam broke into Steven's horny ex-baby mama's hotel room and easily tied her up with a pair of nylon stockings and took the baby. No problem at all. Baby Danny is safely back in the crib with his cousin Blake. Um all is well, but Steven is still as testy and still as pussy, and I'm like, what the heck is wrong with Steven? Well, he and Crystal in silver bullet Laura Ingalls Wilder gown for some reason. God, somebody explain this to me. Actually, you don't have to explain anything. Fashion is so weird. Just when I'm starting to think, okay, the 80s weren't as awful as I thought. Here comes Crystal in this shimmery, shiny, silver bullet nightgown, and it looks like a like an Ebenezer Scrooge gown. What was with the peasant tops? It is killing me. On Dallas, new demon girl came out. What's her name? Uh, Rebecca's daughter. I'm gonna stop calling her a demon girl. That's not fair. Just because she has vampire eyes to me does not mean that she's a demon girl. Catherine. Catherine looked like she was fresh off little house on the prairie. And then on another show, somebody looked like Sarah plain and tall. I'm like, why did we, why did y'all reach back a hundred years and say, yeah, yeah, we're we're finna bring this back. This is cute. I don't understand for the life of me how anybody made it through the 40s and that glamour in the 50s, and then you're like, no, no, no, no, no. Let's take it all the way back to the 1800s. Let's look like we're hot and musty on the open plains, but but make it silk. And for crying out loud, make the shoulders bigger. Ain't nobody got time for that. Anyway, Crystal looks like Ebonese or Scrooge. Steven is reminding the audience that he is fine, fine. He's been doing his sit ups. So he has on a silk roll, but it is open enough so we can see all of his testicles. He's playing pool, and Crystal wants to remind him. And the audience that they have always been best friends. They've always been so close, Stephen. And I can tell that something's wrong. Why don't you just tell me? You can trust me. He looks at her and he's like, Yeah, I guess I can. Then he opens his mouth and says one of the dumbest things I've heard on the show thus far. Steven says, I saw Mark Jennings killer. I know who killed Mark Jennings.

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What?

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Since when? You mean crazy? Am I crazy? He hasn't said boo up until episode five. Now all of a sudden his stomach is a knot. He can't sleep at night because he knows who killed Mark Jennings. Mark's Jennings. And Crystal and I are, I said, what? And she said, what? Right about the same time. We're like, okay, well, what happened then? What happened? Let's Stephen tell her. He was like, okay, so boom. Night of Fallon's engagement party, number two. I pull up to my mama's house. I was gonna run across the street and drop off something, right? I look up. I see a 200-pound, six foot three body falling to its death, slammed on the concrete. Bam! I look up and I see Bristol and I are shocked. Jaws on the floor, waiting with bated breath for Steven to say. Then he's all like, no, no, never mind, never mind. Crystal's like, wait, what? No, what did you see? And I'm saying the same thing. Stop playing, Steven. What did you see? I didn't see anything. Crystal's motives start to kind of float to the surface. She keeps it cool, she keeps it cute, but maybe she's got a little bit of resentment. Plus, she's got those pregnancy hormones. Pregnancy hormones are just like period hormones. I hate when men are like, oh my God, you're hormonal. No, I'm not. I'm being really cool most of the time. But when when I'm in pain, I just gotta say what I gotta say. And that's what she's she's doing it. She's holding it in. She's got that pregnancy brain. She's not trying to be diplomatic this time. She's like, Steven, you need to say if you saw something, even if it is someone you love, i.e., your mother, was it even if it's Alexis, even if it's Fallon. Now, why are we throwing Fallon into this? Fallon don't give a damn about Mark Jennings. And she certainly doesn't go to her mother's house. So let's let's not disrespect the presumed dad who I don't think she's dead. But anyway, Steve was like, I didn't, I didn't say it was a woman. I don't know. I didn't see anything. I'm sorry I said anything. I hate that so much. That used to drive me crazy as a little kid when someone's like, I got a secret, I got a secret. Nah, I'm not gonna say anything. Then don't say anything. Say everything or don't say nothing. Or be clever enough to say it without saying it. That's all I'm saying. Speaking of, say it loud, I'm black and I'm proud. Blake Carrington pulls up to Dominique Deborah's hotel room to pick up, I'm assuming what he believes is his black card. He's ready to come to the cookout. He's ready to start sporting waves. He totally seems like the type of person who would exploit the hell. Let him find out he has two teaspoons of blackness running through his veins and he's gonna change up his whole personality. He pulls up to Dominique Deboreau's room to figure out what are you saying? Am I are we black or just you black? What who's is my daddy black? I'm trying to figure out what's going on here. How are we related? And I need details, my dear. Dominique was sitting at the ivory piano, working out her next number for whatever show she's performing tonight. Blake comes in and he's like, Okay, you have my attention. Can you break this down for me? She says, I'd love to. He goes, Well, I have a few questions first and foremost. Who are you really? Who are you? I am Mrs. William December Williams. My stage name is Dominique Debereau, but if you're talking to me, it's Tom Dominique Debereau with two capitals, capital D, capital D. If I'm singing, it's little D, little D. My government and born name is Millie Cox. My mother's name is Laura. She was a seamstress, and she and your father, my daddy also, were very, very close, very, very intimate. And then we get a little bit of history on Blake Carrington's dad. He was quite the himbo, quite the man whore. And he loved to party specifically in Kansas City and New Orleans. He was back and forth, forth and back. And I'm assuming in one of these cities, she wasn't very clear. Let me go back and listen. Hold on. Because I can never shake her as a hoodoo voodoo woman from Eve's Bayou. Of course, I'm thinking she lived in Louisiana. However, she has that transatlantic accent. All of the actors, all the older actors on the show have that. So who knows where they're from? Alright, so the postcard is what she has that are from New Orleans and Kansas City. Those were Blake's dad's favorite cities to have fun with. So he would send them every time he went to one of those cities to Miss Laura, Dominique Devereaux, aka Millie Cox, aka Mrs. William December Williams, mother. Saying things like, I miss you terribly, sweetheart. I can't wait to see you again. Implying, not implying, proving that there is or was an affectionate relationship. However, Blake Carrington's father was clever enough to never sign them, which Blake quickly points out. See, his whole thing is like, let me come over here. If you're saying that you are who you say you are, what is a proof that you have? He says, None of these are signed by my dad. She goes, No, they're not, but they are his handwriting, or having you forgotten. So then she goes through the Rolodex in her mind or her giant scrapbook, which is probably sitting underneath that couch. And she says, I've watched you over the years very carefully, Blake, and you never ever mention your dad, implying that he has daddy issues, which does not surprise me based on his behavior and mommy issues too. He's like, Yeah, I don't really talk about him, but this is hardly any proof. I tend to agree with Blake, and I am once again reminded of how easy it would have been. Let me be careful how I say this. Not that it was easy to be alive in 1940, 1950, 1960s. Not what I'm saying. What I'm saying though is if you fumbled your life in a major way because of the lack of networks that are available today that were not available then, you could simply change your name and become anyone else you want. People's driver's license didn't even have photographs for the most part. You could say anything. Fraternity tests were not the norm. You simply had an old lady who'd been around and seen a lot of faces, seen at least four or five generations of your family come look at a new baby and be like, yeah, that's one of y'all. No, that don't look like y'all. That sort of thing. I'm not saying Dominique Deborah is lying. I actually don't think she's lying at all because this is like a heavy, boring lie, especially for a woman who's already got her own success. But there's got to be better proof than a postcard. I have to believe, too, somebody was watching this and dang, there's got to be a better way to prove paternity. Blood tests seem like they'd be kind of cumbersome. You couldn't really do that at home on your count, kitchen counter. We need to figure out how you can spit on a swab and figure out who your daddy is. It needs to be that simple. If you can go to jail behind a fingerprint, there has to be other telltales on your person that do not require needles that can prove who you really are or what lineage you come from. Anyway, Dominique, for the rest of this scene, explains that she will be recognized as legitimate. She knows y'all is her good for nothing father ain't gonna do it. And it seems like Blake ain't really all that keen on his daddy either. So if nothing else, they can bond over having an ain't-ish dad. But she wants him to know I will be recognized. You're gonna see me for who I am eventually. It also feels like she has a little bit of a vendetta. I can't really tell. She's curious in a way, kind of like Steven, where you know I know something, but I'm not ready for you to know what I know. But I want you to know that I know, and I want you to think about the fact that I know something that you don't know that I know, and when you find out what it is, you're gonna be blown away. But I can't tell if it's just that sort of tension that she's sitting on or if she is actually planning to bring him down. It doesn't seem like it as of right now. It does not seem like it. And as long as he's not disrespectful, I think he'll be okay. If he pulls a get the F out of my face thing, I think she's gonna make his life a living hell. That's what I think. Maybe that's what it is. She's just kind of sitting back on her heels to see who he is and how cool he is or isn't gonna be, and then go from there. Because I can understand you can't really run up on the family who doesn't know you and expect them to open with open arms, especially this wealthy family. People probably come out of the woodworks all the time. So we're gonna see how they embrace her. I'm very curious to see how this works in 1984, 85. Hmm, I don't think it's gonna go well. I don't. All right, so now we got to get through this trial. Of course, this is the hottest thing happening in Denver. So the paparazzi is everywhere. They don't just stand outside on these shows. They're in the courtroom, they're outside the hallway, just outside the courtroom. Alexis being Alexis is provoked on the way to the trial by one of the paparazzis, some guy, Spaulding, I think is his name. She don't like him because he writes these articles, and she feels like he's trying to call her broke on the slide. He makes a little quip about her company tanking on the stock market, and she looks over at Adam as she's going off on the sky and she's like, Adam, inner shim. Adam says, Mom, what do we talk about? We're gonna be cool, right? She's like, I'm sorry, yeah, I'm sorry. I forgot. I forgot what we're doing. I'm gonna be cool. When they step inside the courtroom, the prosecuting attorney has the audacity to stroll over to Adam and say, Well, well, well, your mother had the best, and I do mean the best lawyer possible, but uh, here we are with you. That's kind of sad, don't you think? Adam remains calm, cool, and collected because, like he said earlier, he does this for real, for real. But rather some basically, I'm smarter than you, is what he says, in not so many words. But the other lawyer does make this statement about Adam's track record, and it's kind of embarrassing that he managed to stumble his way into a courtroom now. I'm gonna have to disagree with him because Adam showed up and showed out he is crisp and cool under pressure, he came prepared, and he's ready to get his mother off so long as she doesn't open her mouth and blow the whole thing. The judge residing over this case is Judge Drew Mayfield, and I would like to boldly proclaim this man is either drunk, drinking, or on some sort of narcotics that has been unnamed. He stumbles out of bed. He looks like he just woke up 6:30 on a Saturday morning. He is not trying to be there. He don't give a damn about this trial. He sits down, zero emotion on his face. This man looks like he needs another drink or a deep, deep nap. So the other lawyer looks like Logan Paul, and he starts to paint this picture of Alexis as this woman prone to outbursts, not only nonviolent, but violent. She is an irrational woman with a hairpin trigger, and she is absolutely capable of murder, especially when someone has wronged her in some way. Adam jumps up and he begins to paint Mark as a broke boy who's always leeching off wealthy women. He was a nobody. True, true, and true. The guy had a list of enemies as long as my arm. Who's to say one of them didn't push him off a building? Or maybe he was drunk and he fell off a building. Okay. I like where this is going immediately. Let's go ahead and get some of the bit players out of the way. Jeff Colby number one. So Jeff Colby is still reeling from the death and betrayal before her death of Fallon Colby. He's trying to suppress his emotions by sleeping with random women. He's in the throes of passion. I mean something like that, I guess you could call it. And um he's like, Oh my god, I love you, Fallon. I love the woman he's on top of says, Who is Fallon? He's like, What? What? Snaps out of his trance. Who is Fallon? Oh, it's somebody I used to know. She's like, uh-huh. Somebody used to know you, somebody you're married to, probably. I'm not married to her. She's a tramp. She's the one, she's a hooker, she's a tramp, she's such a slut. He's going off. And and this woman is not in the mood. She said, My name is not Fallon, my name is Amy. And I would very much love it if you would climb out of my high thread account cotton sheets and get your teams and leave. I'm gonna go wash your stench off of me, and then I want you gone by the time I get back. Jeff is appalled. Jeff is allegedly drunk too. Jeff strikes me as a featherweight. In my opinion, Jeff is completely gone off of three-quarters of a wine cooler, and he just can't get over the fact that this that Fallon jumped in an aeroplane with Peter Defilibuster and plummeted to their deaths. And now he's stuck mad. Can't even cuss her out anymore because she's not around. He may not be able to choke her. He may not be able to body slam her. He may not be able to cuss her out to her face. But what he can do is go home and sleep it off. And that's what he decides to do. Only Steven is roaming the hallways because he's still antsy. You see, he's got a lot on his mind. We'll get to him in a minute. Actually, we're gonna get to him right now and we'll come back to Jeff. The day before the trial, Stephen is rolling around in bed. He's disturbing Claudia these style, and she's trying to get her beauty sleep, but he's restless. She's like, Steve, what's wrong? Talk to me. Oh, I can't, I can't. I don't want to talk tonight. Now, the whole time she's talking, they are in bed, so he is still sort of laying down and she's sitting up a little bit more. Her boobs are right at eye level, and the kid won't stop staring at her boobs. So I am very curious to know if they had a thing in real life. Like it was a little bit distracting. Him, he just kept looking. Yes, Steven, she has breasts. Focus on the words, focus on the scene. Well, they get it on, but just note he was staring at her boobs like an eighth-grade boy the whole time. Back to Jeff. Jeff comes stumbling into the house and he breaks one of the Ming vases. Steven doesn't really seem to care. Maybe he hated the vase. It's just not that important. He notices right away, though, that Jeff is drunk. And he becomes Judgy Wudgy, was a guy floating down the hallway at two in the morning, not minding his own business. Jeff, you're drunk. You gotta snap out of this, man. These people don't care on the so, Barbara. If you die, you we have two minutes to mourn you, and then nobody needs to be crying over this anymore. You need to pull yourself together, Jeff. As Jeff is looking back at him, two things strike me. Number one, he plays a really well a drunk pretty well. It's not over the top. He does seem like just a guy who had a little bit too much and he's trying to find his way in the house. But also his face looks different. I'm like, what is what is going on? What am I missing? Is this Jeff? Is that not him? It is him. You know what it is? His eyebrows are bleached. Yeah, yeah. He has very prominent, very dark eyebrows. They're at least four shades lighter than his natural color. And I don't know why. I actually like the look of a bleached eyebrow. I think it's very cool if you can pull it off, but you do need to have a certain amount of sort amount of portion or a certain amount of personality, which he does not possess. I can decide if it looks cool or not. You watch it and you tell me, you can reach out in the show notes. Send us a text. I will always acknowledge you if you're cool with it. And um, or you can send an email the old-fashioned way at soaplore podcast at gmail.com. That's S-O-A-P-L-O-R-E-E-O-D-C-A-S-T at gmail.com. Were bleached eyebrows a thing? 1984, 85? I need to know. It didn't look awful. And maybe if he had a mohawk or maybe I don't know, maybe he wasn't so buttoned up. He's in penny loafers for crying out loud with bleached eyebrows. Anyway, let's get to the main event. Steven, Jeff, you're drunk? Why are you doing this to yourself? You need to pull yourself together. Jeff says, Well, if your sister wasn't such a slut, maybe I wouldn't be drunk all the time. Your sister's a whore, a whore, whore, whore. Well, this earns him a full-fledged, solid drawback to Mississippi and swing forward through the Great Lakes and come down across his face. He gets punched good and hard. He gets punched so hard, he flies back and slams into the stairwell. Jeff is a lot like Alexis Colby, though. You can tell maybe they're used to getting beat up. They're gonna say what they're gonna say, oh well. Jeff only has this to say to Steven. Steven, I have an excuse. I'm drunk. That's how I deal with your sister being a slut. How do you live with that? How do you live with that, Steven? And then Jeff is forced to humble himself and hobble up the steps, nursing his jaw that has been rearranged for show. Okay, so how do I want to do this? Let's go back to the trial real quick. They call up a witness. She is Mrs. Hartley. She is a penthouse owner across the way. So she has a penthouse that faces east. Alexis has one that faces west, so they can see each other. Mrs. Hartley states that on the night of Mark Jennings' death, she was hosting a cocktail party. Now, she admits to the court, and listen, I'm not really one to be looking over to Alexis's house like that because I pay good money to have my privacy and I respect other people's privacy. However, it's a window. What do you want me to do? Of course, I look out the window. I see Mark Jennings on the balcony, and somebody's there too. Now Alexis gets beside herself. She's like, wait a minute. Grabs Adam. This mate didn't say nothing about seeing nobody. I know, Mom, I know. I don't know what's going on. She can't be talking about seeing a witness. What is she talking about? Well, Mrs. Harley continues as a prosecuting attorney says, Well, was it a woman?

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Ms.

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Harley's like, I mean, I don't know. It could be, it could have been. It was somebody. Somebody was there. Alexis gets active. She can't be staying on there. She ain't said nothing about no witness. What is she talking about? Adam, Mama, Mama, Mom. What did I tell you? Adam, she's talking about witnesses. Adam's like, Judge, please, please, please, can we have 20 minutes? Can I have 20 minutes, please? Judge's like, yeah, absolutely. Do what you need to do because he needs to go freshen up his hot toddy. Heavy on the toddy part. Hold the lemon, hold the whatever else. He went to have a glass of whiskey, y'all. Adam drags his mother into the bathroom and gives her a speech that is equivalent of, I will turn this car around. I did not have to take off work to do this. I did not have to be here. I will turn this car around. Keep on. Like, Adam, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Mama, I'm not playing. One more outburst from you, and I quit. I will leave. I will not look back. I have no qualms about walking out of this courtroom right now. You better get it together. You're gonna go back in there. You're gonna apologize. You're gonna sit with your hands in your lap. And I don't want to hear peep out of you until we get to where we need to get. Got it? I got it. I'm sorry. Sorry. Just freaked out. She never said anything about a witness. He's like, I know. Don't worry about it, mommy. I'll take care of it. Let's talk about Crystal real quick because she is annoyed this whole episode. At one point, Dominique Devereaux invites her down to La Mirage for cocktails. Dominique says, I want to be your friend. I feel like you and I have a lot in common. We're sort of outside. Here, I would just want to be your friend. But Crystal, she has this pensive look on her face. You would think she's trying to figure out who Dominique is, but in my heart, I think Crystal is upset. Crystal thought she was gonna get to perform on stage based on her dress like Neil Diamond or Davy Crockett. I can't really tell. She has on this brown fringe number with some bedazzlements right above the boobs. She she looks like she could be at least a background singer. Unfortunately, Dominique did not invite her to sing, so now she's like, I don't know, man. I don't know what to think of you, Dominique. I feel like you're trying to destroy Blake. Dominique says, listen, I can be ruthless, I can be vicious. You're very good to pick up on that. That's that's not false. However, I don't just pick on people. I don't start none. So if you don't start none, won't be none. If you start some, I will annihilate. But as of right now, you can check my record. I ain't never, ever, ever thrown a punch at somebody who didn't absolutely deserve it. And right now, I don't think you deserve it. So, I mean, we're cool, can't we be friends? I know all about you, Ohio. I know you came up as a stenographer. Now you are Mrs. Blake Carrington. I was a poor little girl out of some neighborhood in an unknown state. I built a company and now I'm worth millions. We're two, we're cut from the same claw. As a matter of fact, let me tell you this. I like the way you're not eating out of the palm of my hands because you have respect for your husband. I like that about you. You are protecting your king. I like you being the queen. I like you being a lioness. It's a good look. I just want us to be cool. Bristol's like, I mean, I don't know. I'm kind of pregnant and over it right now. We're probably gonna lose this house. So let me just, I don't know. If you don't trip, maybe we can be cool. But as of today, I don't really know what to think about you. I don't trust you, lady. Ominique's like, that's cool. You don't have to trust me, but you will acknowledge me. You will acknowledge me very, very soon. There she goes with this once again ominous piece. She just wants somebody to say, you're welcome here. Honey, I think you're barking up the wrong tree. You don't need the validation, my dear. Back at the mansion, Crystal comes into Blake's study. He's still calling all over the state, trying to get some funding for this project he needs to drill in China still. He's trying to make things happen. But of course, it's not that easy. Every time he calls somewhere, oh, so-and-so's out of town. He's in Saudi Arabia, he's in London, he's in Paris. Blah, blah, blah. Well, Crystal comes in, and I I gotta be honest with you, I don't know what she says to him because her shirt is so loud and so busy. I couldn't hear anything she said over that blouse. But I do know that Gerard comes in. Gerard is the new Joseph, and he says, Hey, the police are here. Blake's like, Great, send him in. A police officer comes in and he serves Blake. Blake has been subpoenaed. He has to testify against Alexis Carrington Colby on tomorrow. So when Blake gets on the stand, the prosecuting attorney who looks like Logan Paul says, Mr. Carrington. I heard about this party back in the day where something really wild went down. Now, Blake immediately knows what the guy's talking about. And not for nothing, Alexis says, Is his baby mama? So he says right away, and hit to his credit, he goes, I mean, no, she had too much to drink. It was just one of those nights. And the dude's like, uh-uh-uh, that's not what I asked. Can you tell me what happened? Well, I had heard, I heard that she ran up on you. And Blake says, Okay. So Alexis and I were not getting along on this particular night. She was really upset with me over something I had done. And um, she picked up a knife and and tried to stab me with it. And the the court is like, oh, everybody's gasping. I had to stab you. He's like, I mean, she didn't she picked up a knife. And the lawyer says, and then what did she say when she was holding said knife? He goes, He said, I'll kill you. He said it, but I mean, you know what I'm saying? The lawyer's like, okay, I get it, I get it. But do you think she's ever been angry enough to actually kill someone? He's like, I mean, yeah. Do you think she's capable of killing someone? Begrudgingly, Blake says, I mean, yeah, if provoked, I guess she could be. Yes. Alright, cool. I was disappointed in that last little sentence because I'm like, isn't this man a whole felon? Like, why are we taking your word? Didn't you trip and fall and kill somebody and like beat the crap out of somebody before? You were the last person to point the finger at anyone. Or is he the best person to be like, I have a crazy temper, I know a crazy temper. That's why we hooked up when we were young and dumb. Not to worry, though, Adam Carrington is here and he's gonna get all this ish cleared right on up. Adam's first question is, Dad, or excuse me, weren't, sir, weren't you convicted of murder recently? Blake says, Yes, yes, I was. Adam said, Well, do you think that was fair? Do you think that's a fair assessment of what happened that night? Blake says, No, I've said it then and I'll say it again. It was an accident. I did not murder anyone. So Adam says, Oh, so you so you understand how sometimes perception is not really reality, and these accusations can have some pretty devastating effects, right? If they're incorrect. Yeah, you're right. You're right, Adam. You're right. Adam goes over to his desk, he picks up a check. It is the check that Alexis wrote to Mark Jennings for$100,000. The prosecuting attorney is like, hey, dude, hey, why are you bringing that up here? That has nothing to do with nothing. Adam says, I need listen, listen, I need this proof. We need to talk about violence. We need to talk about motive motive. I promise you, I'm gonna tie it all in, Judge. Don't worry. The judge is probably a little more sober than he wants to be, but this is good T. So he's like, okay, yeah, cool. I'll allow it. Adam says, So, Father, my mother wrote this check to Mark Jennings for$100,000 because of blackmail, right? Blake says, yes, that's correct for blackmail. So Adam reiterates. So she didn't want someone to know that she made this deal with Rashida Med. Do you think she was afraid of like the feds? Blake says, no, this was done on foreign soil. It's it didn't really make any nevermind to the U.S. government. She wasn't in trouble that way. Adam says, then why is she being blackmailed? Who is she afraid of? Or who is she, who did she not want to find out about this? Blake says, Well, me. Adam's like, okay, yeah, that's probably right. Now, when you let's say you found out about this, would you have tried to kill her? He's like, No. Would you have strangled her? No. Would you have yelled at her? Absolutely. I personally would have gone over there and cussed her out like I do when I feel like it. Anyway, I'm gonna go over there and cuss her out. She comes to cuss me out. It is what it is. That's how we talk to each other. So Adam says, okay, cool. Also, could you tell me, in your professional opinion, in your wealth,$100,000 to a woman like my mother is that a lot of money? Like it's like, psh, not even. It's it's nothing. It's like buying a pack of gum to her. It's absolutely nothing. So Adam goes, okay, let me make sure I understand this. My mother was not in trouble with the law, wasn't really in trouble with you. All you were gonna do was yell at her, which you do anyway. She yells back at you. She's not afraid of you, she's not afraid of Mark Jennings. So would she have any motive to kill a guy who doesn't really have anything dangling over her head? The worst thing that was gonna happen to her was that you were gonna yell at her? Would she really need to kill a man that she already paid? What would have been to her a pack of gum? Everybody in the court's like, dang, that's a we're all broke, but that makes that's a very good point. And Blake agrees, he's like, No, I'd I'd have to say she doesn't really have a motive at this point. I mean, you're not scared of me, clearly. So Adam says, Okay, I rest, I'm done with that. Thanks, Dad. Blake gets up, he begins to leave. Alexis is relieved. As soon as Adam sits down, she's like, Baby, you did so good, you did so good. Has him a glass of water so he can hydrate again. Turns to Blake and says, Blake, thank you for convincing these people I'm not a murderer. I sure appreciate it. Crystal looks highly annoyed. It is revealed later on when Crystal is ignoring Blake. She is cold in her cobalt blue, she didn't have nothing to say over dinner. She's pissed that he went up there and and helped Alexis, which is unusual for Crystal, right? She finally confesses. First, she tries to be all diplomatic. She says, Blake, these good American people took off time away from their families to go to a courthouse. The police arrested this woman. Don't you think there's some credence to that? Don't you want to not waste the American public's tax dollars? Girl, don't do that patriotic crap right there. That's not what she was. That ain't nothing about that patriotic. What she's saying is she finally got arrested for something, and I'm glad she did. Blaise says, Girl, this is so not like you, Crystal. Why are you so salty? She goes, I'm salty because she fired a gun off, scared the crap out of my horse, and drugged me 16 football field lengths and lost the baby. She killed my baby. I have forgotten about that. It's not funny. It's not funny that the baby's dead. It's funny that she got drugged 16 football fields. That was hilarious. Blake's like, dang, yeah, I kind of forgot about that. She's like, and also she's always trying to sabotage your business. So I just can't stand the fact that every time this woman does something, she never goes to jail for it, like ever. So if she goes to jail for this, so be it. She needs to be in jail for something. Okay, Crystal, I understand pregnancy hormones, and you're not wrong. She has a right to feel how she feels. She is not pleased with this. It is perfectly fine to be a hater sometimes. Sometimes you need that to push you forward. Bristol is a hater this episode, and so is Officer Bangs and a long bob. Meanwhile, over at the jail, Dex Dexter has made it back from Wyoming, and he wants to see his boo, even if it's for a few minutes. So Officer Bangs and a Bob pulls Alexis out, and Dex gets to hold her, kiss her, and she he is quickly introduced to her brand new mullet. I guess that's her jail hair, which I respect. I have different hair at home, different hair when I go out, different hair when I go to work. I understand it. So she's wearing her jailhouse mullet wig, and she and Dex are trying to kiss and canoodle a little bit. Officer Bangs gets jealous. That's enough, Alexis. He gets a whole 38 seconds of a little bit of affection and of you, baby. I love you, baby. I love you, baby. I love the mullet too. Thanks, boo. He has to go back to jail. So back at home, or at the mansion, rather, Steven is tossing and turning in bed. He's disrupting Claudia, the Eastallion's sleep once again. And she's like, Stephen, what is wrong with you? I don't know. I gotta get out of here. I gotta get out of here. It is can't see in the morning. It is crack of dawn. This prison or this jail or this detention center, wherever it is Alexis is, they don't keep regular hours. You can come and go as you please, as long as you don't piss anybody off. And Steven hadn't pissed anybody off. Plus, Officer Bun in Bang Yangs is way cooler than Officer Bob and Bang Yang. So Officer Bun in Bang Yangs goes and gets Alexis at can't see in the morning. She sees it as her baby boy. Steven. Steven is clearly her favorite kid. Clearly. Hey, baby, I'm so glad you're here. What's wrong? Is something wrong with Danny? See that? She's a loving grandmother. Immediately. Favorite son's here. Better make sure my favorite grandchild is okay. Is everything cool with Danny? Yeah, Danny's fine, Mom. I'm sorry. I just I just couldn't sleep. I just need to see you. I'm not feeling great about this trial. Oh, baby, don't worry about me. I'm gonna get off. Adam's doing a great job. Everybody knows I don't need to kill people. Plus, like I had stuff to do. I was going to a party. Listen, baby. She promises him this. She says, once I get out of here, I'm gonna have you come over and I'm gonna, oh my God, I'm gonna swallow my pride and I'm gonna do the thing I've been avoiding most of my life. Steven says, What is that? She says, I'm gonna make you dinner. I'm gonna cook. I'm gonna cook the special meal you used to ask for as a little boy. Do you remember what that is? He chuckles to himself. Do y'all know what it is? Take a wild guess. You don't remember. There's no way you remember this. We called it beanie weenies, where somebody chops up a hot dog or if you're lucky, some good sausage and puts it in a can of pork and beans and you scarf it down. My mom would make pork and beans in meatballs, and it was so good.

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Gosh.

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So that was it, but we I do remember having beanie weenies like at a friend's house, and sometimes we'd have it with sausage in the summer with like baked beans, and it was so good. But it ain't exactly a culinary wonder. It don't take a whole lot of effort to open a pack of hot dogs and chop them up and throw them in a can of weenies. And if I remember correctly, I think you can buy beanie weenies already made together. Steven seems like that sounds like a pretty delicious meal, but he's what, like 23? He still eats like a frat boy. That's probably delicious to him, but he's nervous. What we learned throughout the episode, we the audience already know that Alexis got in the car and she really wasn't wrestling with Mark. Like I really believe she didn't do this. But Steven, he sees her on a balcony, he sees Mark falling. Like his flashbacks are going back and forth. He sees her looking down over a balcony and he sees Mark falling. He doesn't see her wrestle with anybody. He doesn't see her pushing. She is standing perfectly still, looking down over the balcony. Mark is falling to his death. So it's not clear if he is. I mean, it seems I'm like 97% sure he feels like his mom did it. But then why say anything at all? I don't know. Or he's remembering it as we're seeing it, and he's not a hundred percent sure, but he knows that he saw his mom looking over a balcony. He can't say that to her as he's looking at her. He can tell it's kind of killing him. Like, I love you, mommy. I love you too, baby. As soon as I get out of here, I'm gonna make you beanie weenies, it's gonna be fire. Beanie weenies and tea, because we classy. Somebody's gotta enforce your British heritage here. Her and her mullet go back to jail, and Stephen is left there damn near about to cry. As he should, because the next day, tell me why they show up in court and we all think it's about to be over. Lawyer Logan Paul announces to everyone we have one more witness, Mr. Stephen Daniel Carrington. The court is shocked. Oh no. Her son? Carrington? No. Alexis can't believe it. Turns around and she's looking Stephen in his eye, like, what the You knew about this? Yeah, because see, he would have had to have gotten a subpoena. So he's known he was gonna be called as a witness, but why? I didn't even know he was interviewed as a witness. And judging by the looks of it, Adam didn't know this either. He was like, bro, for real, I kidnapped a kid for you. You couldn't tell your boy he was gonna come on now. End scene. Tell you what, by the end of this episode, I might have been not yelling at, but giving you a stern talking to Steven, you better get up there on that stand with your brand new face. You better, you better stand ten toes down. You didn't see nothing. You don't know nothing. You know what they're talking about. But you better not sell your mother up the river. I we better not. Oh, so good, so good, so good. All right, guys, that was fun. I think, judging by the number of episodes, we're gonna have to do several double scoops here and there. So I'm gonna have a little break. Have me some miso soup that I've got my mouth fixed for. I'm gonna watch Knott's Landing and we're gonna get, we're gonna power through this. This is a lot of fun. Season five, episode five of Dynasty. Almost a Dallas. Season five, episode five of Dynasty did not disappoint Dominique Deboreau. Darling, what is your hand? I think so long as somebody says, you know what, you're welcome, you're cool, even if our dad's a douchebag, I ain't got no beef with you. And if Blake is smart, he might need to hit her up for some money. She might happily invest in him as long as he's cool about it. But if not, she might buy that house. Speaking of which, I hope my girl gets out of jail soon. I do not believe she did it. I don't know how they're gonna, you know. I'm not really worried about how they're gonna get her out of this because Dynasty is, if they don't do anything else, they know how to rewrite history. Can't wait, can't wait. Alright, guys, that's it. That's all for this episode of Soap Lord. Thank you for joining me once again. Join me next time as we jump into a fresh new episode or a new old episode of Knot's Landing. Gary and the Wheel. Oh my gosh, I just thought about this. Hopefully, I don't think that's gonna be a problem. I asked you guys several episodes ago if there's any conflict with watching Knots Landing at this point before Dallas catches up to that. Because on Dallas, Jock is still very much alive. We know he's not. Um, so far, so good. Nobody said anything. You guys said I should be fine. So I'm gonna trust you because you've given me no reason not to. In the meantime, in between time, stay hydrated, stay moisturized. Have an airtight alibi just in case the drunk guy you paid off falls off a balcony. Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, and keep all of your drama on TV.