S5 EP12 Falcon Crest: False Hope -The "Liable" Episode

A baby arrives, a vineyard collapses, and Angela Channing somehow finds a way to profit from all of it. We’re back with Soap Lore to break down Falcon Crest Season 5 Episode 12 “False Hope,” and Angela is firing on every cylinder, taking a distributor who once rejected her and making him beg for the privilege of doing business again. Meanwhile, Chase is stuck dealing with a suspicious “infestation” that feels less like bad luck and more like someone playing dirty in the valley. Across town, the most complicated birth plan imaginable comes due. Baby Hope Margaret is born with Cole and Melissa present, but the emotional weight lands on Robin, who is still the legal parent and is barely holding it together. Then the story turns: a heart problem forces urgent surgery decisions, and the paperwork hits like a punch. It’s one of those classic primetime soap opera moments where the melodrama suddenly becomes real, and everyone’s definition of family gets tested. We also dig into Jordan’s growing tension with the Manimal and the political pressure coming from her father, plus Apollonia’s 80s music video chaos and the messy overlap of boyfriend and manager with Lance. Father Christopher’s “new day” leads to a resignation confession, and Aunt Terry delivers the glow-up of the episode by auditing a scam, stacking receipts, and giving Richard one option he never expected: marry her. If you love Falcon Crest recaps, vintage TV, and sharp character-driven drama, hit play, then subscribe, share the show with a fellow soap fan, and leave a review so more listeners can find Soap Lore. What’s your verdict: is Aunt Terry’s move justice or pure strategy?

Transcript

Welcome And Falcon Crest Setup

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hello gorgons! Welcome or welcome back to another Ponthold edition of Soap Lore. I'm your host, Jed viewing and reviewing the Stopius Despia's Primetime Storylines in 1985. So whether you're new to this or true to this, get back and enjoy television time to play outside or outside helping with no questions, to the deaths and or concerns for the next 25 to 45 minutes. Everyone else in AirShot Cool Quiet or Kick Down your only option is maybe because we are watching our story. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls.

SPEAKER_01 0:54

Welcome and welcome back to another fun field edition of Soap Lore. I hope you are staying cool. I hope you're staying calm. Your day is so wonderful. I'm gonna be cocky. I think it's about to get a whole lot better.

SPEAKER_02 1:08

We're about to have a good time on this episode of Soap Lore. Today we are jumping into season five, episode 12 of Falcon Cross. False Hope. Angela Channing might go down in history as one of my favorite supervillains. I already love geriatric people. I already love kind of love women villains. I love all villains, but I do love a woman villain of a certain age, I should say. There's just a way that a grandma can say things to you that like a 25-year-old woman couldn't. It's just not gonna hit the same. And Angela is firing on all cylinders this season. And this episode is no exception. So go ahead and pour yourself out something bubbly and bright as we jump into season five, episode 12 of Falcon Crest, right after hand mail shout-outs and a refresher of my bedroom. I'm that's around and let the ice melt a little, so I need to freshen it up. All right, guys, let's jump right into

Shoutouts And Spoiler-Safe Listening

SPEAKER_02 2:05

this. Want to shout out some fresh millennial meat. But before I do, I want to thank you guys so much for helping me keep the integrity of the show and protecting my experience. I'm encouraged to do the same for other listeners. It has occurred to me a couple of times that I'm like, am I saying too much? Are my titles too, uh, are they giving away too much of the of the plot? But then I'm realizing, girl, people are probably watching the show first and then they'll come and listen. And also, people can binge now. So nine times out of 10, people start watching these shows and then they're ahead of me, but they come back to listen just to hear what I'll have to say about it, which I really, really appreciate. I I do just want to be careful in case you stumble upon like a later episode, trying not to give too much away. But I what I mean, it's 40 years later. I think it's way too late to be saying spoiler alert. It is what it is at this point. I want to shout out Kennedy, Teresa, Joan, Anna. That is so pretty to me. Joan, like J-O-A-N, Anna, and Juan Carlo, who have recently started listening to Soap Lore because they've started watching Vintage Primetime Soap Opera. Kennedy and Teresa look like they have jumped on Original Dynasty for the first time. And Kennedy says that she has also started watching Dallas. Joan Ana is new to Falcon Crest, as is Juan Carlo, but he's watching all Juan Carlo had me cracking up. Apparently, he broke his ankle and had to lay up in an Airbnb. He was on vacation, it was a whole thing. And he said that he had forgotten that he'd been borrowing, quote unquote. Some of the other streaming networks. Listen, I get it. You gotta make do in this economy. I'm proud of you, Juan Carlo. You you had to do TH2, but anyways, he had to lay up in the Airbnb, didn't have the usual suspects as far as the streaming network, stumbled upon Flex and his Amazon account, and started watching the old soaps and is having a good old-fashioned time. I'm so glad y'all are joining us now. I'm so excited for you. You're gonna love it. I'm gonna tell I tell you that. I started this off hating the 80s. I still say that, but I've I I've got a few confessions coming up that maybe, maybe, maybe it's growing on me. I'm starting to appreciate them a little bit more. These are the newest soap fiends, all 80s babies, 90s kids. Welcome to the club, guys. We gotta get these these chairs on here though, too. We gotta get these babies in here to watch this because these this stuff is good. Yeah, I don't feel bad about sharing passwords. I think everybody does it for streaming networks or whatever. I remember my freshman year in college, like I shared books. We we all couldn't afford our stuff. So, like, just okay, we're gonna take similar classes. You sign up on Monday, Tuesday, or Monday, Wednesday. I'm going on Tuesday, Thursday. We would just meet up and switch out books and stuff. You got to do what you gotta do. I also want to shout out Kip and Bob for giving me these good type of warnings. And I want I want to go ahead and share that with newer listeners

How To Research Actors Without Spoilers

SPEAKER_02 5:23

too. Newer listeners who are watching the shows for the first time. I find that you got to be very, very careful when you want to research some of these people. I thought we were safe because this was, you know, 40 years ago, 40 plus actually years ago that these shows aired. And by and large, I have the most success if I just go straight to IMBD. Last episode, shout out to Bob for warning me. I was told that it was a big deal that I don't want to mess up his name. His name is Rocky, right? Hold up. This is Editing Jet. I had a I already had this episode recorded, but I needed to slip this in after I read this. I think I read it yesterday. Hold on, I'm just gonna play the voicemail, okay?

SPEAKER_00 6:05

Hey, it's Bob. I'm listening to your Dynasty episode, season five, episode 12. I'm not finished the episode, your episode yet, but that guy playing Daniel Reese, I didn't realize he was gonna pop up so soon, but I guess he did, obviously. He was a very, very, very famous movie star named Rock Hudson. And I don't want you to Google anything because we'll get spoilers, but at the time when he took that role on Dynasty, it was a very, very, very big deal that he was gonna be on a TV show.

SPEAKER_02 6:38

All right. Thank you, Bob. I wanted to slip that in just in case anybody wanted to Google Rock Hudson. Sorry, I think I called him Rocky. I'm so glad that I've been, I've sort of been trained to not really dig too deeply. I saw him on the show and I thought to myself, he looked really familiar. And I think I was thinking he's probably on Bonanza or one of those shows that I would watch with one of my elderly relatives or something. Like he looked familiar, and I'm like, I know I've seen him. I'm noticing that a lot of the older actors on these shows, not necessarily the women, so I guess just the men, they they do generally come from like westerns, is what I'm finding. Like if you the actor who played Jock, um, some of the people in his camp, they were all kind of western stars at some point. And I think even John Forsyth, I'm probably mixing this up a little bit. He and Crystal were on a couple of shows together, but I think Crystal even started on a show where she was, it was some sort of prairie cowboy, whatever. It was a popular genre. So I don't think it was all that surprising that that's how I was remembering him. I just didn't realize it was from the movie Giant. I I'm so glad that I didn't look at his name. I generally skip past the opening credits. Only watch it when I first, like when the first the season premieres, I watch the first. I want to see who's gonna pop up in the credits. But I guess they start slipping more people in as they appear on the show. Oh well, that's just one of those things, I suppose. I figured out who he was and that he was in giant by going to IMBD. That's the whole point of me saying this. Go to something like IMBD and be specific. I think I put in season five, episode whatever of Dynasty and just looked at the cast to see okay, who do I recognize, who do I not recognize, and boom. You just kind of go from there. And I didn't, I'm kind of glad I was a little bit blind to it. I did watch his IMBD there, like it, it they just flashed a whole bunch of his films. He was snatching up women, kissing them all hard in the mouth. Then they showed him a little bit older, like with some gruff. So I knew he was, I figured he was pretty famous or at least prolific. He's got a ton of movies. The name probably sounds familiar to me because of Flintstones. I'm thinking too, it sounds like one of those names. You can tell it's a name that somebody, I'm sure they made it up. I didn't even look that deep. I'm sure his name ain't rocked. Probably what, Ricardo or something. They love to do that too. They love to give you a nice wholesome apple pie sounding name. If maybe you you got a little ethnicity in you. That's what I thought. He's probably Italian or something. And they rub a dub dubbed his name so that he could be super famous, I guess, if people could pronounce it. But either way, um, he's on the show. I can't wait to see who he turns out to be. Okay. In that same vein, I got another heads up about Angela Channing's boo, Mr. Peter Stravos. Apparently, he was a Hottie McCottie back in the day. Let me see. Played by Cesar Romero. That's another thing. Don't look up the character's name, be very specific. Like look up the episode that you're watching, IMBD, go to cast, and then if they have pictures, click on those. Because what I said, what I've noticed too, and I've kind of caught on to is that if you put in the actor's name, sometimes, especially on these shows that we're watching, the Falcon Crest, Knott's Landing Dynasty in Dallas. Actually, I haven't seen anybody on Knott's Landing yet, but there's a fandom page. There's like these shows were huge, so it might go ahead and tell it'll try to tell you about the character. So you got it, you can read like the first sentence and be like, uh-uh-uh, can't do that. But anyway, Caesar Romero was a baddie baddie back in the day himself, too. He's very, very good looking. He reminds me, oh, what's his name? If you've ever seen Narcos or uh what's the the Dirty Dancing Havana Knight, he looks a lot like that kid mixed with um God, I can't remember who else. Looks like a kid from Dirty Dancing Havana Nights, if he had grown up. That's probably like his great-great-great-great-great nephew and somebody else, but it it escapes me at the moment. So yeah, just be careful if you get curious about an actor and you don't want anything spoiled, be very careful how you research. You might run into some trouble. All right, y'all. Let's go ahead and jump into this episode. Be careful in your research, but be careful even more so in how you talk to people.

Richard’s Meltdown And The Vineyard Crisis

SPEAKER_02 11:09

I.e. Richard, Richard, who cussed out Cassandra and almost lost his balls when she took those keys off the ring and threw them at him, has the audacity to have his feelers hurt at the top of this episode. He is telling Jordan, whose hair is like a halo around her head. It is six inches all the way around her head. He's telling Jordan that he can't believe Cassandra has up and left. Cassandra stole sold every stick of furniture she owned, and she left. She was dead serious when she said her child would not be raised around the psychopath. He can't believe she had the audacity to do so. And Jordan is just looking at him like, wow. Yeah, Rich, I can't imagine why a woman would leave town after her baby daddy calls her all out her name, admits that he only wanted to embarrass her, and then called her a lying whore when she told him she was having a kid. I can't imagine why she would pack up and leave. It's crazy. She didn't actually vocalize any of this. She says this with her eyes. Very professional. Chase is trying to be professional. He's trying his best, but he doesn't understand why these mealy malls have decided that his vineyard is the tastiest vineyard in all of the valley. Unfortunately for him, it doesn't really matter because the distributor who was going to work with him over Angela has told him to his face that because he has the bed bugs and the creepy crawlies, he can't do business with him. And Chase is like, okay, he's not even taking it that bad because it's always something. So this same distributor has to eat crow and walk down the very, very long path to Angela Channing's house and let her know that he is really sorry. He turned down her business originally, but hey, I got an opening now. Turns out that other wine is no longer available. So hey, do you need a distributor? She she's breathing this in, she's soaking this in. She wants to make him pay a little bit. She makes him kiss the proverbial ring and basically beg for her business back. She ups the price a little bit. He's like, okay, I'll take my punishment like a man. And she's like, You absolutely will mind your business. So once he leaves, the manimal is looking up and down at Angela, like, Angela, that's kind of convenient that Chase convinced the distributor to work with him. And now all of a sudden he's got some infestation in that kind of odd. Kind of sounds like something you would have your hand in. And she's like, Who, me? Couldn't be. Giggles as she counts her coins. When last we left, cousin Robin was doing the exorcist crawl on the floor, trying to reach a phone that was just inches out of reach.

Baby Hope’s Birth And A Complicated Family

SPEAKER_02 13:48

Luckily, Melissa, smelling like swamp, comes running in, finds her on the ground, gets her to the hospital, and it seems like she got her there in the nick of time. At the top of the episode, we find cousin Robin writhing in pain, comfortably in a hospital bed, surrounded by people who tolerate her. Cole and Melissa. Melissa seems to be very concerned, though. She seems to have been to put their rift behind them, maybe because she did something a little freaky in that swamp. That's what I'm thinking. And also she's about to get a brand new baby. You know, from the outside looking in, you would think this is just a really joyful family. Maybe it's a set siblings or something, and the happy couple looks really sweet. The doctor comes into the room to introduce herself and Melissa's. I mean, not Melissa. Cousin Robin's like, ooh, ooh, ah, ooh, ooh, this is getting rough. I think I need to have this baby. And the doctor's like, okay, okay, cool. Everybody get out. It can only be the mother and the father. Well, Cole's like, Well, I'm the father. And the doctor's like, okay, so she grabs Melissa very gently to usher her out. Probably think, okay, this is must be the sister or something. Bad girl Melly Mel says, and I'm the mother. The doctor's looking to and fro, to and fro. She looks back. I tell you what, Robin and Cole make cute babies. Baby girl named Hope Margaret is born. She seems healthy. She seems happy. Robin seems devastated though. She's trying her best to be a trooper, but she can hardly get a sentence out without crying. And I just know that nursing staff is having a time talking about the baby daddy and his wife in the delivery room with the baby mama. Cousin Robin is going through it while Maggie is elated to be a two-time glamma. She is so excited about this baby, but Chase is not for some reason. He doesn't really want to talk about it. Somewhere across the bay, the manimal confronts Jordan on why she keeps ghosting him. She explains that if you F with my dad, you don't really get to F with me. And he's pissed about this. He has a political career to be thinking about, and he just doesn't think she's being very clear. She's not being clear. She's not really expressing why the relationship with her dad is an issue in any regards an issue with her, an issue with him at all. He tries to storm out, but you can tell he's still got a little thing for her. But she's fighting back tears too. She's gotten upset. The manimal yells back at her, Oh, by the way, Angela Channing wants you to stop that little serial story that you're running in the paper. So let me stop and let's rewind just a little bit. So after Angela got the contract back for the distributor, her family's either having lunch or breakfast. I guess they're having breakfast out on the front porch. Everything's going well. She's in a really good mood. As a matter of fact, she wants to mess with people now that she's back on top, or at least she feels that way. She notices that Apollonia is not at the breakfast table and she goes, Lance, did I hear Appalachian's hoopty this morning putt putting down my driveway? Sounds like she left mighty early. She's starting stuff. But you know what, Lance, apple tree didn't fall from it. He says, No, you know, she she didn't leave alone. She was definitely with Dwayne, aka corn fed Jed. He only says that so that Emma can be like, no, she's not with him because I was with him the whole night. So I know where he was. He just wants to throw it in Angela's face that her daughter has a very active sex life now. Angela's reading one portion of the paper, the manimal's reading another portion, and he's just giggling. He's having a really good time. She's like, What is so funny? He's like, man, Maggie's book is in the paper this morning. At least chapter one is. I'll have to go back and look up the name of Maggie's book. It's something it doesn't really a Southern something. Okay, it's called Southern Friendship. So Maggie and her scrambled ex brain managed to read Angela for Filth in this novel she doesn't remember writing. It goes a little something like this. If Andrea Chandler had a favorite pastime, changing her will was it. Nothing made her happier than to cut people out of her life, stick people in, add clauses, mandating this and objecting to that, and in general making herself a nuisance with her poor, overworked lawyer. So Maggie's got a sense of humor. Maggie didn't remember writing this. I'm starting to believe the manimal wrote this. Angela is appalled. She's like, oh, she's funny. Okay. Memory loss is hilarious. Tell you what, since she's now I like to sue people, draw off the papers. Chase is meet Chase, meanwhile, is at the castle cackling. He is laughing. He thinks this is the best thing he's ever read over breakfast. Now Maggie in this scene is wearing this really beautiful sort of peachy pink, corally cinched waist robe. It's all silk and it's got little strips of lavender. It is stunning. I'm convinced the only reason she's in this scene is so we can see this robe. But the conversation gets a little bit uncomfortable because Chase is like, Maggie, this book is hilarious. Why didn't you let me read it before? Well, she knows there's a salacious love scene in it, and she don't want him to get the wrong ideas. But she relents and she disappears for a quick moment so we can get the full head-to-toe look of the robe. And she brings out the manuscript so that he can read it. She finds this to be a good time as any to ask him about maybe visiting with the baby. Chase is 100% against it. And I'm kind of with him after this scene. She wants Maggie feels like he's being disrespectful to Baby Hope. Like this is your granddaughter, whether you like it or not. You can't just come say hi to her. He's like, no, because I don't know nothing about her mama. I don't know nothing about her. I bet you money, Maggie. I'm telling you, this woman could pack up that baby and we'd never see either one of them again. We don't know her like that. I'm not even gonna get attached. I'm telling you, I'm telling you, don't get attached either. He's got a very valid point because Robin is struggling this whole episode. Before we get back to cousin Robin, I want to talk about Apollonia a little bit because Robin has a stronger role this episode. I am watching Falcon Crest with my full attention and um come across this scene where I'm like, hey, where have I seen this man before? I feel like I'm starting to say that all the time now. These shows and their cameos are getting nice and rich. At least Falconcrest and Dynasty are. So I'm looking and I'm like, holy grease, reunion. That's one of the T-birds. And I don't know which one. He's one of the cute ones. And I'm like, okay, here we go. In this episode, he is not a T-bird with a Wap Bobab hairstyle. He is a video director. So it's a set of Apollonius video. It is all 80s, high class, whatever. She's got on a bib necklace, but it's made from jewels. She's wearing really big hair. They've got the smoke machine going, they've got the fog machine going, dry eyes tucked away everywhere. It's a good mood, I guess. I guess. T-Bird is a bit of a douchey video director. He's not feeling Apollonia's performance. He's not wrong. Apollonia could use a little bit of help with her five, six, seven, eight. She's a little bit stiff. She's messing up this very basic choreo. And he's had all he can take. He even says her, he's like, damn, you can't sing and dance at the same time. I wanted to tap him on his shoulder and say, uh, T-Bird, she is lip syncing. And he's like, Yes, Jet, you're you're right. Thank you for that. You're welcome. You can't lip sync and halfway dance at the same time. Lance hops up. Yeah, you ain't gonna be talking to her like that. That's very disrespectful. Woo, woo, woo. T-Bird barely acknowledges Lance's presence. He turns around and he says, Who is this? Apollonia and Lance speak at the same time, but they say different things. Apollonia says, My boyfriend. Lance says, I'm the manager. But they say it together. So the T Bird looks left to right, right to left, to and fro, fro, and two, and says, Well, a little of one is to Much of the other, something like that. Basically, neither one of those roles are really working for me right now. Apollonia, get your your choreography together, put a little zigzag eye in his performance. You're trying to sell this song for crying out loud. This is a this is a video. She has to talk Lance off the ledge because he feels like she's being disrespectful because she has the best voice in the world and she's the most entertaining. She realizes this is business, and it's probably not that great of an idea to mix business with pleasure. T-Bird has a point. So after a brief conversation, not Danny Zuko yells action and Apollonia and some well-dressed, talented man in a penguin suit begin dancing across the smoke-filled dance floor, and it is it's alright. It's okay. She's not gonna be Janet, that's for sure. She ain't gonna be Madonna. She ain't gonna be Kylie. But you know what? She is Apollonia. She's Apollonia. The scene does produce a conversation a little bit later out at some open-air restaurant. Apollonia shows up to meet with Lance. Ugh, we gotta get this thing straight. You're my manager and you're my boyfriend. How can we make this work, darling? How can we work together? My career is taking off. You can't be jumping up every time you feel uncomfortable. And he's like, Well, what am I supposed to do with myself? I'm supposed to be your manager, you're supposed to go on the road for six months. You want me to She's like, Well, why don't you come with you? I want you to come with me. He doesn't really feel like that's a big, a great idea. They discuss it, and they decide, they discuss it and they decide that they're gonna just put this whole conversation on ice for a little bit and play it by ear. I think, ladies and gentlemen, that is the cue that Apollonia probably is not gonna be on the show much longer. Which means some fresh meat ought to be entering right about now. Although we did have that weird inspector, we got the Wednesday Adam looking girl. Hmm. I don't I don't know. I if I if I was putting money on it, I'd say the weird mealy moth lady is going to be his new interest, but I think Apollonia is on the way out. Sometimes things come to an end. Sometimes you gotta know when to let go. Robin didn't really have the opportunity to process her predicament the way she should. When she talked to Maggie a little bit earlier in the episode, um, Maggie'd come by to see baby hope, Melissa, and Cole end up taking the baby back down to the nursery because Maggie said something offhand. I can't remember. It seemed pretty innocent, but if you were giving up a baby, it hurt pretty badly. Something about the baby being like babies are magical, especially when they're your own. Well, yes, that's Robin's baby, but Robin is giving this baby up to her cousin. So Maggie, you can tell she she realizes what she says, and she decides she's just going to talk with Robin. Robin says that it's hard, but it's not impossible. She's like, it's not like I'm never gonna see her again. I mean, we're still family, and I I don't feel I mean, I don't, I'm good, I'm glad that it'll be Cole and Melissa taking care of her. Like,

A Heart Scare And Painful Paperwork

SPEAKER_02 25:10

I'm not gonna worry about her, but clearly she's going to miss her. Well, Robin's laying up in the bed healing when the doctor comes in and says, Listen, there's something wrong with Hope's heart. We're gonna need to do some surgery. I need you to sign Encyclopedia Britannica Thick set of papers so that we can perform the procedures on the baby. The baby's parents have to be the ones to sign off on it. Well, in this case, Robin hasn't signed off any adoption papers for the baby. So she has to, through tears, she's already going through it because she's given up the baby. Now the baby's sick. Now she's blaming herself. Now she's stressed out, no doubt. She signs all 875 papers. Cole is there to comfort her. Melissa's looking on, like, oh God, like we still family. I still want the baby, but I still care about you too. It's cute or whatever. But baby hope is having surgery. I'll tell you what, they don't mind slicing and dicing an infant on this show. On these shows. Kind of

Jordan’s Standoff And Political Pressure

SPEAKER_02 26:10

intense. Speaking of life-changing paperwork, after the Manimal confronted Jordan about basically blowing him off, not wanting anything to do with him, and then telling her that Angela Channing wants to sue she and Richard, Jordan was like, bring it, bitch. Do what you gotta do. I'm a lawyer all day. Don't let the tears fool you. Later on, we get to meet Jordan's mother and father at dinner. Now we've already met the mother, I mean the father, but we get to meet Jordan's mom, who seems like a really lovely woman. Jordan's parents are eating dinner with Angela and the Manimal. This is all building up to his political career, I suppose. Harriet, I think is her name. It's sad that Jordan didn't come, but the dad seems completely unbothered by it. He's worrying about his speech for the next day. He's gonna announce the manimal as I think the lieutenant governor or lieutenant governor running, something like that. And for some reason, the manimal feels a need to disclose that. For some reason, the manimal feels a need to disclose the current state of he and Jordan's personal relationship with her family. It was kind of weird. So later on that night at dinner on the porch, Angela and the Manimal are talking about how awesome the press conference went earlier that day. Jordan's dad's speech was amazing. And Dwayne tells the family that he is starting a business. Now, earlier in the show, Dwayne, aka cornfed Jed, had come into Angela's office to basically ask her for a position. He didn't want to, he doesn't want her to make her position for him, but he's like, Angela, I thought about what you said last episode, and you're right. It's just not appropriate for me to say, I love it, I love your daughter so much, and then I'm on the road every night and day. I can't be driving to Dallas and Kansas City and all over the country. I need to be with your girl. So I want to keep driving my truck, but I want to drive it locally. And I figure I haul turnips and crap. Turnips can't be any harder to haul than your wine. Could you use a wine hauler? And she's like, now that's lovely. I think that's a wonderful idea. However, if I give you a job, that means I have to take a job away from someone else. And I can't play favorites here, so I'm really sorry about that, Dwayne. Now, the manimal is looking at her like, girl, no, you lying. Well, Dwayne isn't discouraged. He has the entrepreneurial spirit and he decides he's just gonna find someone else. Well, he goes over to Chase and he lays it all out. And somehow Chase, even though Chase doesn't have a lot of wine at the moment because of the mealy malls, he tells Dwayne, you know what, you would be a really good, you could be a distributor. You ever thought about doing that? Now, I don't really know what all this is. I'm just repeating what I hear. Dwayne says, Well, by God, I think I will mind you, this man put on starch denim, a belt with a huge buckle, a white shirt, promptly cut the sleeves, rolled them up, and slapped on a tie. That is his professional outfit. You know what? For a truck driver, that's not bad. Hell, I'd say a lot of places in the oil field, that's perfectly fine. Maybe, maybe don't cut the sleeves on your shirt. Just a buttoned-up shirt and like a hat and a tie, and you're fine, but man. So he's happy that night when he goes to dinner and he tells the whole family that he just started a brand new business and he's working with someone local. Someone real local. Someone related. Angela's fist involuntarily clenched. She says, Who? You know who is your nephew? Eyes are rolled. She's she's not really having a Angela drops a facade and asks why his gullible country ass is so dumb. Duane is not too keen on being called a dumb himbo. Angela tells him to quit immediately. He says no. She said, Okay, I'ma say this real, real slow so you can keep up. Quit or don't ever set foot on my property again. Duane tells her, I run teens, teens don't run me. And that he will gladly leave this doo-doo fest of a vineyard with the quickness. In my own truck. Well, I guess this rouse up Angela because later on in the show she decides to stop by at Chase's house and start some ish under the guise of being a congratulatory big auntie. Stops by to say, Congratulations on the new grandbaby. Chase tells her to kick rocks. She goes, I would, baby. But you know, I also wanted to say, I'm sorry about those bugs. That's a tough break. Chase tells her to step off again. Finally, she says, Okay, I have one more thing. Chase is like, okay, you insulting me about the baby. Talking about them bugs. Who else? Oh, oh, I guess you you are suing Maggie. Is that right? She said, You damn right. No one ever said you were dumb, Chase. You get your brains from me, but yeah, I'm suing the ish out of scrambled eggs over there. Tell us, watch her omelet. I'm gonna own her eyebrows when we're done with this. I think this episode too, I think um at some point Chase figures out that the bugs that were put into his vineyard came from a lab, as in somebody mutated them and then presented them. They're not like naturally occurring. So it's very, very clear that they were planted. They couldn't have like hitched a ride from a lab at UCLA and showed up on his doorstep. So he knows something went down. But it don't matter anymore because he's in an even newer piece of business. One last thing I forgot to mention about Jordan. Her dad does come by and he basically tells her to keep it cute, don't pull any stunts before the end of this election. He don't want no problem. She's very uncomfortable when he leaves. She also says, quote, he committed the perfect crime and that she can't talk. What did he do? What did he do? My only thought is that there's probably some sort of photographs that she would be uncomfortable with them being out, but different time, different time. Hard position. I'm really curious, though, because if he can't stand physical touch, must have been assaulted in some way. And did her dad know about it? Is it a friend of his? Is he like encouraging? No, I don't want to say pimping her out, but I'm not gonna put it past him. Either way, she's not having this. All right.

Father Christopher’s Resignation Confession

SPEAKER_02 32:25

So on the last episode, we got to see Father Christopher take a skinny dip into a very shallow pond. Melissa came click-clop-click-clopping up on her trusty Steve. She then jumped into the pond. We don't really know what happened. I know they kissed, they made out, they did whatever. But whatever happened in that 18 inches of water has changed Christopher's life. It is a different type of baptism, I'm assuming. You know what I'm saying? He was immersed in something else. Father Christopher said, you know what? It's a brand new day, baby. Whatever happened when he came up out of that water resulted in him typing up a letter of resignation. He tells Bob, Father Bobby, I'm out. Father Bobby has the nerve to look at him and call him a teetotal fool. Christopher goes on to insist that I gotta leave. You know, I just can't be here. Father Bobby ain't happening. He's like, I don't really know what your problem is. And what is with this ambiguous letter? Like, why? Why? Christopher confesses that he is in love. Bobby looks at him like he's chewing gravy. Dude. What does love got to do with it? You still love God, right? Christopher's like, well, yeah, of course. Father Bobby, I think number one does not want to run the whole parish by himself. He seemed like he was a little worn out when Christopher showed up. He was all too eager to pawn off some of the more troublesome people on him. Hell no, he's not going back to that. He got vacation days now. Father Bobby has a charcuterie club that he gets to attend to. He likes to catch a matinee sometimes. Uh-uh. You're not about to mess up my day. Christopher, this is what's going to happen, baby. You are going to take a leave of abstinence and don't even worry about the paperwork. I'm going to take care of that for you. I love this, but also Father Bobby is so messy. Like, you knew what was going to happen. I am totally convinced he knew that Melissa and him were going to get along romantically. But I love that he's talking about, boy, and I've been in love a lot. Used to love brandy, Chardonnay, whiskey, all of them. Love me a bottle of something. Okay, okay, okay. I'm trying to think, is there anything else? Well, Melly Mel does not know. Pasha panty droppers, says that he's in love with her. So I'm pretty sure we all know you know what I'm saying. It's bad girl Melly. It is bad girl Melly Mel. She is the baddest of all the young baddies on any of the soap operas. Oh,

Aunt Terry’s Audit And A Marriage Ultimatum

SPEAKER_02 34:55

okay. I know who we got left. We have somebody that I have talked cash crazy about, and I have never been more proud of this character ever. Enter Aunt Terry. Aunt Terry likes to wear a lot of gold or stark white. She needs to be seen. But luckily in this scene, she wasn't seen by people who didn't need to see her. So Aunt Terry is at Tuscany Downs. She's about to round the corner, but she hears something that stops her. She overhears these two scumbags discussing in great detail how they're skimming off the top of Richard's little operation and that Richard is 100% into it. They also talk about Terry being like a dumb bimbo who can't count, something like that. They make fun of her math skills. I was a little bit offended. Because, you know, math isn't my strongest suit, but I'm like, don't I can get through it. I'm sure she can too. She was a call girl. She ran her own business. I'm sure she knows how to count that money. Plus, she had a pimp. Do you know how dangerous it is not to have the right amount of exact change with a pimp? Judging by the fact that her face is still flawless, I think she can count pretty good. So does Aunt Terry. So she's not too keen on being called a dumb blonde, non-bookkeeping bimbo. She surprises them the next day with an impromptu audit. She sure does, that very next morning. One of the bums is named Al, and he threatens to call Richard Channing. Terry says, uh, no, sir, no sir, that won't do. She then goes to break down his scam in great detail, and he has no choice but to just sit there and take it because he is recognizing his own wording in this. She he knows now that she heard everything that he said. So she breaks down his scam and she offers him one of two choices. She goes, Okay, so number one, I can call my new boo the sheriff, you can talk to him and tell him everything you know and spend the rest of life in jail, or you can talk to me and my attorney and tell me everything you know. And he feels set up. He asks her, why? Why? She assures him that she is a very good woman to know and an even better one to do business with. So later on, filled with confidence, she confronts Richard about his 20K a day that he's making, skimming off the top of his own business. Making her lose money and ish. He says something weird like, Well, on paper it's true, but out loud, is slander, basically saying, You ain't got no proof. Richard's petty ass then tries to have security come and escort have Aunt Terry in her choral ensemble escorted off his property, but he don't realize she's a businesswoman, like she's been told him she already paid off the security guard, so he's not gonna do anything. She also has 50 eleven receipts, proving that Richard has been skimming off the top. So just like he says on paper, it's true out loud, it's slander. She lists all of his sins in great detail, one by one by one. He is looking more and more sick the longer she speaks. She says, you know what? There's only one thing left for you to do, Richard. There's only one way out of this. He asks her what she tells this fool to marry her. Bum bum bum. You know what though? Yeah, I kind of like this. First off, I've gone long and hard about, I have talked at length about how Aunt Terry needed a backbone, she needed some guidance, she needed to join the Girl Scouts and get some positive female role models in her life. Looks like she did all those things, and she's a quick learner. She showed up looking fabulous with many receipts, and she's like, nah, that's what you're gonna do, broke boy. Since you're making money that I don't get to see, I'm gonna marry you to make sure my empire grows as well. Come on, Terry. Come on, Aunt Terry. Thoroughly impressed. I'm impressed. She's come leaps and bounds from the woman we used to know, the one married to Joel McCarthy. Was his name right? All right, that was a fantastic

Final Thoughts And Next-Time Tease

SPEAKER_02 39:05

episode of Falcon Crest. I enjoyed every minute of it, especially Aunt Terry's rise. Okay, so I'm gonna have to reconsider a couple of things. I'm gonna give her four more episodes to make sure she doesn't blow this, but I think this move is gangster enough to put Aunt Terry back into the bad girls club. What do you guys think? I I I think she's made her point. She hasn't, well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. She's not actually doing anything malicious, she's just sort of catching people doing the wrong thing and taking advantage of that. She's not seeking them out to exploit them. So, ooh, she's kind of in the middle, I suppose. That's neither here nor there, but I hope you are here next time as we jump into another fun-filled edition of Soap Lore. That's it. That's all for this episode. Only thing left to say is where is leather pants, Pam? Bring back LPP. Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business, and keep all of your drama on TV.