S5 EP12 Dallas: Barbecue 2- The " Bare Chests , Denim Dress and Total Devastation" Episode

A Southfork barbecue is supposed to be loud, hot, and full of petty shade. This one starts that way and then stops the whole party in its tracks. We’re recapping Dallas Season 5 Episode 13, Barbecue II, and the emotional swing is brutal in the best soap opera way. Sue Ellen is the center of gravity for me here. She’s stepping into real independence for the first time, trying to choose a home, manage money that still feels tied to JR, and protect her peace even when family love comes knocking. Clayton Farlow’s support gives her something she rarely gets in Dallas: calm, practical guidance without an angle. Meanwhile, Miss Ellie tries to hold onto tradition and keep the Ewing orbit stable, even as the divorce mess and public attention keep pressing in. Around them, the Dallas machine keeps turning: Lucy draws the wrong kind of attention at a bookstore shoot, the Barnes and Wentworth crew rolls back into town, and Cliff Barnes starts looking like he might finally turn Ewing 6 into real power. Bobby’s adoption situation tightens as legal realities creep closer, and Donna’s book tour plus Ray’s insecurity adds another spark to an already volatile day. Then comes the gut-punch: news about Jock’s crash lands, and you can feel the air leave the scene. If you love Dallas recaps, primetime soap opera breakdowns, and character-driven commentary with humor and heart, hit play. Subscribe, share this with a fellow soap fan, and leave a review so more people find Soap Lore.

Transcript

Welcome To Soap Lore

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hello, party people. Welcome and welcome back to another fun-filled edition of Soap Lore. I'm your host, Jud, still viewing and reviewing the Sophia Sophia's primetime storylines of 1982. We are back for a repeat of one of my favorite ever episodes of Dallas. So whether you're new to this or true to this, sit back and enjoy. Don't you at this time to play outside or have a side club make no questions, suggestions, or concerns for the next 25 to 35 minutes. Everyone else in AirShop, More, Quiet, or Kicked Out are the only options we've got because we are watching our story. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is soap more. Hello, Gordon. Welcome and welcome back to another fun fourth edition of Soap4. I hope you're doing soap and well. I am over moon delighted. If you've been listening to me for an extended period of time, you may or may not have gone all the way back to the beginning. Listen, if you haven't, I'm not offended. We are at 300 and I believe this is 71. 371 episodes of Soap 4. I don't expect you to listen to them all if you did. Good on you. Love that. Love that for you. Love

The Wild Barbecue From Season One

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that for me. One of my favorite episodes ever of Dallas happened during season one. Now, season one has a little bit of controversy about it. Nothing too major, but story has it, it was only supposed to be like a little mini-series, five or so episodes. It was popular enough to be made into a television series, so they extended it out. If you're watching on Amazon and places like that, it starts at season two because all of the episodes are together. Other places, season one is just the five episodes. Sometimes it's eight for some reason. And then it's another 18 episodes. This episode was called The Barbecue. It was fantastic. I might actually go back and re-watch that again today just because it's literally one of my favorites. Sue Wellon was completely off her rocker. She was white girl wasted the entire episode. So was Digger Barnes. I don't know what the bartender was pouring it up, but it was not diluted with ice. He didn't give a damn. He must have been about to quit or something. He had them people shinockered. Okay. They were cutting up Sue Ellen riding a horse trying to get in Bobby's draws. Pam fell from the rafters and lost a baby. Digger Barnes got drunk per usual, but he was killing them hoes on the makeshift dance floor. He was river dancing on them. It lives rent-free in my head from time to time. I'll just think about it and cackle a little bit. But we are here for, we're not here for that one. This is the you and barbecue part two. So go ahead and pour yourself up something bubbly and bright. I think I'm going to be responsible this episode and say, if you do get yourself a good old stiff drink, please put a little ice in it. And then go back and watch episode, I believe it's four or five. I have to look it up. It's four or five of season one of Dallas. And have yourself a good old time. But in the meantime, in between time, we're going to jump into season five, episode 13, Barbecue 2.

Barbecue II And Miss Ellie’s Mood

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Man, there's so much going on this episode. At the top of the episode, we get to see Ellie Ewing walking on her sprawling ancestral home known as Fork, almost said Forklift. South Fork. She immediately catches my eye because I don't feel like we get to see her outside of her house very often if she's not at the Ladies of the Alamo meeting or in a courtroom or something. I never see her just sort of walking the grounds. She is this episode probably just trying to clear her head. Last week left, JR played himself, thank God, in court by not playing Sue Ellen. I really wanted him to say something because I wanted her to jump up and be like, he got my sister pregnant. You know what I'm saying? I'm gonna get back to the story, but I'm so tired of all of her business being put out in the street. She had to keep her his business close to the chest. No. Air it out. This man has slithered away, and don't get it wrong, I love me, some JR. But JR just got off scot-free for almost losing his mama's house two times in two seasons. Every time you turn around, he's in some mess. But we know all of Sue Ellen's lovers. We know that she likes alcohol and mouthwash. We know that she crashed into a pole and went into premature labor. We know that it almost was Cliff's baby. Oh my gosh. It goes on and on and on. Instead of airing out his business, JR got hit with that good old-fashioned child support and spousal support. My girl Sue Ellen Ewing is parancing, parancing, perusing and parancing around Dallas to the tune of around $22,000 American in the year of our Lord 2026. Roughly that amount of money. She's gonna be doing just fine. But turns out Sue Ellen ain't never been on her own. And we know this because she is in what appears to be a town home. I actually rewound it a little bit. It could just be a two-story home on the corner, but the way that the camera angle looks, it looks like it's parked, like it's attached

Sue Ellen House Hunt And Independence

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to other buildings. So let's say it's a town home for the time being. It is gorgeous. Dusty's big fine daddy has accompanied her to look for a new house. She has decided to live in Dallas because she wants John Ross Ewing III to be close to Ellie and Jock to be able to visit. Notice she don't give a damn where his daddy is because he only gets to see him what every other Thursday or something like that. But he he was close to his grandparents. She wants to keep him there. She's feeling a little bit guilty about coming back to Dallas. So she asks Dusty's big fine daddy if he thinks she's foolish. And he's like, Absolutely not. I will miss y'all though. I'm not gonna lie, I'm gonna miss y'all a lot. It's so quiet down at the Southern Cross with Dusty leaving and now you and baby John Ross youing the third. She says, Don't worry about it. I'm gonna be calling you all the time. I need so much advice. And he's like, Well, have you ever been on your own? She goes, I haven't really. She's mentioned something about I don't know if I can afford this place. This is so expensive. And Dusty's big fine daddy said to her, Something I've never heard a man on any of these shows tell a woman. Not one time. He says to her, Baby, you rich. Who gives a damn? Sueella, you are wealthy. If you want it, buy it. Buy two or three of them. Don't even worry about it. And she's like, I'm just so scared. I'm really worried about this. And he's like, You've never been on your own. She said, Man, I ain't never been on my own. I love this piece of history because now we know the former Miss Texas, after living with her very stage mommy, living vicariously through her daughter E type mommy. Sue Ellen went off to college with two of her friends, which is not unusual at all. Well, at college, you know, she met, I forget the name of that dude she was hooking up with last season, the one who liked to play tennis. She met him, he was cool until JR was cooler, and then she married him, then she moved out to him in his mama's nymph house. She's never once lived on her own unless you count the time she was in the insane asylum, which doesn't count because there's probably like 50 people there. But she did have her own bedroom that one time she went to jail. So let's say she's only been on her own one night, and it was probably not the best. Well, Dusty's big fine daddy is more than happy to help her. He said, Girl, call me anytime. I am only a phone call away. And me and Dusty got F you money, so if I need a helicopter, I can fly in whenever I want. You are the daughter I almost had. I freaking love him. That is so sweet. Guys, I do feel a little bit guilty because there was a brief moment there where I had the thought, an intrusive thought that if I'm being honest, hasn't really left me. I say go for it, right? Go for it. Dusty's out bucking Bronco and whatever. He's gonna be mad for a long time. Since he's already pissed off, why not come? Why, why not just become his stepmom? Just saying. Although, if I'm being honest, I don't think it's that kind of relationship. I think he genuinely just he really does look at her like a daughter. So he's like, okay, well, let's go get that baby some clothes. Do you want me to help you set up financing for this new place? And she's like, oh my God, yes, please, please. It must be so refreshing. She also mentioned that she's spent money before, but it's always been JR's money. So she feels like she has to have approval with everything that she purchases. Sam Cole, uh, Sam Culver, Dusty's big fine daddy says, No, no, no, baby, you are a wealthy woman now. Don't even worry about that. Matter of fact, I'm gonna set you up with some financial advisors. You're handling a lot of money now. We're gonna make sure you set up well. And uh, let's go get some furniture in this place. Let's deck this place out. She seems so grateful. He's probably one of the first people outside of Ellie, I was thinking about this, who genuinely just cares for her because they care for her. Now I know Ellie likes her because that's her daughter-in-law, but she only Ellie doesn't like JR. Nobody can convince me that she does. I don't think she's liked him in two or three seasons. But she really does care for Sue Ellen and she definitely cares for the baby, and they still they seem to really want the best for her. Speaking of Miss Ellie, I think I just jumped. Did I jump past that? I sure did. Okay.

Larry The Caterer And Adult Routines

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Ellie's walking at the beginning of the show on her own property. She's breathing in all the horse fume. She's sort of reeling from the divorce. It's been splashed all over the tabloids, it's all over the Dallas papers. She seems a little bit stressed out, but probably pretty happy. Also, she's dealing with the fact that her son almost lost her land again. So she's got a lot on her mind. Probably really wise of her to walk the land and enjoy it just in case this ripped out from underneath her again and again and again. But anyway, she's in this denim jumper that is very familiar to me. I bet this was probably one of the first few years it was in vogue. I have seen a resurgence of denim Pentecostal wear, as people are calling it, the denim skirts, the long ones, not the short ones. The denim jumpers. Back in my day, if you wore that jumper, I knew for a fact that you were either under the age of 12 or a quirky art teacher or over the age of about 65 back in the day. Today, you know, people do vintage shopping and they make it look really cute. I like that on her. There's something sort of warm and familiar about it. She reminds me of like one of my teachers. Anyway, kind of minding her business. Somebody comes tearing up her driveway and a cart that says so-and-so's catering. I already forgot what it said, but this man hops out of the car and he's like, Miss Ellie, listen, I hadn't heard the phone ring. I have my phone on all day. I hadn't heard from you. Uh, what about this barbecue catering job? In so many words. And she's like, Oh, Larry, hey, baby, um, I don't know if we're gonna do the barbecue this year. Larry is a caterer. Larry is a unique part of the adult experience, I don't think we talk about enough. Whereas Sue Ellen has lived under someone else's guide her entire life, experiencing independence for the very first time, and she's helpful, she's uh grateful, I mean, for the guidance. I would imagine that a person like Larry has been in her life, she probably has several Larry's, and I think you and I do too. Once you establish a routine, whether that's going to buy your groceries every Thursday morning or going to the gym every other afternoon, if you do it enough, if you are consistent in your routine, you will eventually have people learn your schedule. You will learn theirs too. You will learn who the cashier is at your favorite store in the morning. You learn uh who your favorite barista is or the cashier at the grocery store. Hey girl, you still taking those night classes? Blah, blah, blah. You build a little bit of community. Larry seems to be community, and he has been waiting on that summer barbecue check. I can already tell Larry got children. Larry has plans. He ran up on Ellie like she was cheating on him. He's like, You're not using another caterer or you hadn't heard from you. I started to get worried. And she's like, Oh shit. Sorry, dude. I got a lot on my mind. You know what? I don't think we're gonna have a barbecue this year. Doc's not even home. I don't think we're gonna do it. He's like, No, no, no, we have to. You know what I'm saying? You know, this is a tradition, baby. All the Dallas be talking about it. She's like, Oh my god, you're right, you're right, you're right. I forgot I was that girl. Yeah, go ahead and um, yeah, go ahead and do the regular order. Do we need to go over anything? They have a quick little discussion. Larry gets in the car and swiftly wipes his brow. I laughed good and hard because it reminds me of my mom.

Nail Salon Relationships And Breakups

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Okay, so I think I've I've mentioned this on this show. I got my very first set of acrylic nails when I was 11 years old. Was I maybe I was 10 or 11, I can't remember. But it was Easter, so my birthday's in August. This would have been Easter. Let's just say I was 11 for the sake of the argument. Yeah, I was 11. I definitely was 11 going on 12. So it's Easter weekend. My mom's like, let's go get our nails done. I'd gone with her a million and 20 times to the next town over to get her nails done, and I would just hang out, read my books, listen to my music, watch the TV in there, read the magazines. On that day, she's like, no, let's go ahead and get your nails done. Charlie had been her nail husband for years at this point. Charlie knew who I was. I knew who Charlie was. We had bought Charlie and his wife a couple baby gifts. They were we were a family, okay? They were very close. This is when I'm 11. I think I'm probably like 32, 33. I happen to be in town where Charlie is, and I go to the salon to get my nails did. And he's in there and he's asking me about my mom and this. He kept bringing her up, which wasn't unusual, and I hadn't seen him in a really long time. And he's asking me and asked me, he's like, Okay, well, tell your mama said hi. He just kept talking about her. I thought it was weird, but not really. So I didn't see my mom for probably another week, and then I told her about it. She was like, Oh, yeah, me and Charlie fell out. They have since worked it out. Let me verify that with her, but I believe they have since worked it out. You know, there were some changes made, and she had been a loyal customer for a long time. I don't know what happened, but they had fallen out. They made up, and it made me think like there really are people in your life who are not your significant other. It is a completely platonic but mutually beneficial relationship that you have with this person. Like it's a real relationship, and sometimes you break up with them. You ever had to break up with like your hairdresser or your braider? It's it's so difficult. Oh, it cracked me up. Larry and Ellie's relationship is still solid. They will still meet each other every single summer. And Larry says, Don't worry, honey, I'll have everything set up for you on the 12th. She's like, perfect. We'll just turn the barbecue this year into a welcome home jock party. A little later on in the episode, Ellie comes downstairs

Breakfast Fights And Donna’s Invite

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for breakfast. Bobby and Pam are already sitting at the table. They start having a lovely conversation. Then you hear Lucy and JR arguing all the way down the steps into the kitchen, talking ish back and forth to each other. He's talking about, oh, you think you're a hot shot now that you got a little piece of that ewing oil power or something like that. You know, she owns a tenth of the shares given to her by her dead be daddy. You think you're so powerful, don't you, now, Lucy? Lucy's like, yeah, I'm feeling pretty good. JR, by the way, did you want your kid back for power because you really wanted him? He says, Girl, if you don't get out my why don't you go tell your junior plastic surgeon husband to make you a new face? Now I cackled. I had to rewind because I didn't realize he kept talking. He could have stopped right there. Or if she, if not, she should have stopped him and be like, let me let me stop you right there, J. Avra. This mug, please. New face, please. I've seen Lucy. I well, I've never seen her in real life, but I've seen recent pictures of her. She is still stunning. Stunning. That is the former Miss Young Dallas, sir. She don't need no new nothing. That is a North Texas Lolita. Put some respect on her name. What he says though is have your junior plastic surgeon of a husband make you a new face and make sure he leaves off the mouth. I cackled again. J.R. decided, I guess he came downstairs to basically fight with everybody. So he says something slick to Bobby about Bobby feeling like he's a hot shot. And Bobby's like, man, mama told me to go to the office. I'm gonna join you in oil again. He's like, didn't you mess it up the first time? Not really. No, not really. My God, Bobby needs a vacation. I'm exhausted when I think about the back and forth, forth and back. He has to run around and handle all day. Well, before he can go too deep into that, and before Ellie can gently remind him that he's almost lost her house two times in two seasons, Donna Culver comes in just as J.R. storms out. Donna Culver looks to the women at the table and she says, Miss Ellie, Lucy, Pam, I'd like to invite y'all to something very calming and wonderful. Donna Culver talks like this. She never raises her voice. And she likes to extend all of her vowels in the back of her throat just like so. I'd like to invite you all to something very special in town. Pam looks like she might have a little bit of Claudia the Stallion's tranquilizers or um some of Maggie's mommy juice. Because she she seems a little high. I'm just saying, allegedly, allegedly, allegedly. Oh no, I can't go. I'm I'm gonna be with baby Christopher. Cool. Lucy's like, yeah, I'm down to go. Ellie's like, hell yeah, let me get my purse. Let me get up out of here. These kids getting on my nerves. I've only been up 20 minutes and everybody's getting on my damn nerves. I'll come with you, Donna. So Ellie and Lucy join Donna downtown at the bookstore. She

Bookstore Photo Shoot Creeper Vibes

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wants them to be the first people to or lay witness on Sam Culver, The Political Years, the book, the novella, the novel. I gotta I I love a book. And I usually don't judge a book by its cover, but I am 1000% judging that book by its cover. It is thick. It's a probably 700-pager. No, probably like a 500-pager large print. Ugh. Talking about his political years. This is supposed to be a riveting blockbuster of a novel. It is what it is. She's just there to take photographs of the book. Apparently, the bookstore wants her to take photographs of it and they're going to use it in their advertisements around town. So the guy is snip-snipping the picture, clickity-click, clackity-click, clickity-clack-click. Lucy's halfway looking at books to the side. So they're explaining to Donna how it's gonna go. Pose this way, pose that way. The guy walks over to Lucy, the photographer that is, and he goes, You're Miss Young Dallas, aren't you? Immediately I was sed out by this dude. It was really gross. Obviously, the actor is meant to be creepy, in my opinion. This is this is me projecting. Lucy corrects him. He goes, Oh no, I'm not. I'm the former Miss Young Dallas. My year is over. Are you still modeling? Creep. I guess it's not creepy that a photographer would know that she was young, Miss Dallas. It is his tone. There's something about the way his lips are sitting that I really, really don't like. You ever see a little kid? Hopefully it's a little kid, not a grown man. A little kid who's eaten one or two popsicles. Especially like on a hot summer day. Those things are cold and delicious, but they stain like crazy. Now, if you wash your face, give it an hour or so, it'll come off. But you know, you know what I'm saying. It stains the little kids' hands and their shirt, stains everything. And there's like a ring around their mouth for the rest of the evening after they eat this. He looks like he's eating two or three popsicles and it's just sitting on his lips funny. I don't like it. I don't like it at all. And I don't like the words dribbling out of his lip. He hands Lucy a card. You really should keep modeling. You're very photogenic. Yeah. Young Miss Dallas generally would be, but thank you. And again, thank you. We all know that Miss Lucy's face card is oh my, oh my, so beautiful. But he's he's basically salivating and she's basically flirting because she has no self-control. And she tells him, you know what, I will. I'll keep this in mind. Lucy, my darling, you might as well open. You know what? No, Lucy, walk over to the children's section, and I want you to look up a book called Hansel and Gretel. I want you to read it from cover to cover. It's probably only 20 or 25 pages. That is a cautionary tale, baby girl. You've finna follow a candy trail right to an unmarked white van with blackout windows. You are gonna be hog tied, duck tied, deep fried if you're not careful. That man is a psychopath. I stand on that. Didn't Lucy already get kidnapped in a van? Something better. It was a green shag van. I can't remember if she got kidnapped or there was some sort of robbery, but anyway, I do believe she ended up kidnapped or am I mixing her and Bobby up? Either way, it's about to happen again. That's what I think. This episode seems to be complications of adulthood, joys and triumphs. One of the complicated things in adulthood, too, is realizing that you can have a group of friends. If they don't all remain friends, then you will be their friend and they are your friends,

Ellie And Pam Visit Sue Ellen

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but they're not each other's friends. Ellie is no longer Sue Ellen's mother-in-law, but she is still John Ross Ewing III's grandmother. She and Sue Ellen still have a good relationship, so naturally it's okay for her to come over. Pam is technically no longer Sue Wellen's sister-in-law, but she is technically still John Ross Ewing the Third's auntie. I don't know why I'm saying technically. She's still his aunt as long as she's married to Bobby. Actually, I don't really care about that. I say that's your aunt regardless. Couple of my uncles are divorced, and I still call their wives my aunts. Like, I just can't even imagine not doing that. But Aunt Pam and Grandma Ellie come by the house to not only see John Ross Ewing III, but they come by to see Sue Wellen because they love her. She is so happy to have them. Y'all come on in. I'm so sorry. I didn't know y'all were coming. I'm just getting things straightened up. Her house is fly. Y'all, God, I love this house. It is, I don't think I described it. So it's on the corner. She's got a bay window. She's got a beautiful staircase that is carpeted. It's got a really nice landing. So there's plenty of room. She could even put like a shelf over there if she really wanted to. Her kitchen is semi-private. There's like it's it seems to take over one side of the house. So when you walk in the front door, you don't immediately see it. But over to your left, there's a doorway. You go through the kitchen. That way you can come out the other side where there's a bar. Beautiful. Great for entertaining, great for privacy. It is just really, really nice. And Ellie and Pam ain't no haters. They really think her apartment, girl, this is cute. This looks so good. Ellie says, if you need help, don't worry. I'll have people bring some stuff over from the house. I'll send someone to come and help you unpack. You still don't even worry about it. I can't stand JR. I'm gonna make sure that you're good. Pam gets to tell her about the brand new baby. She's super excited for her. She's palm. Like, girl, I'm so glad y'all got your job. Hey, wait a minute now. How come you didn't bring them? Pam says it was too late to bring him out, but don't worry about it. You'll see him when you come and visit. Swell and was like, ooh, actually, I'm yeah, I never going back there again. Ever.

unknown 25:01

Ever.

SPEAKER_00 25:02

Ellie's like, well, it's funny you mention it because that's why we're here. We are going to have a barbecue on the 12th. You think you can make it? She's like, uh, you know, um, no. Ellie, I appreciate, I I get it. I appreciate it, but nah. I look, can we give her a month? Can we give her a year? It's girl, the trauma housed at the Ewing Ranch. She, no, she good. Okay, where should we go from here, ladies and

Wentworths Return And Nepotism Talk

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gentlemen? Let me think this through. Let me through this think. I guess we can tap dance on um the other parts of the best parts of Ewing Barbecue One, which were the Barnes's, which are now the Barnes's Wentworths. Catherine, the baby sister with the wolf eyes, has made a triumphant return. I guess she didn't dig New York too well. And it would appear that Rebecca set up some sort of interview for this girl to come and have an interview to be a reporter. Now, she and Rebecca are on the phone this entire scene. They're going back and forth between the two of them. And Rebecca says, Well, we've been invited to the Ewing family barbecue. You want to go? She's like, Yeah, I'll go. I think Cliff is gonna pick her up from the airport or whatever. She'll be picked up. Her mom says, Well, what time is your interview? This girl replies, Oh no, certain time. No time at all. This is lesson number four in adulthood, just from this episode alone. The only acceptable ism is that nepotism. Okay, that nepotism has unlocked a door, opened a window, basically added a wing to the newsroom. Sounds like she got a job off the strength of her mama's paycheck or ability to write a check. Have you ever in your lifetime had an interview where you show up whenever the hell you feel like it? Yeah, I'll be there, whatever. No email. She didn't send a video unless she literally recorded herself and take- Oh my god, can you imagine the exhaustion? Literally recorded a video, put it in a sleeve, went down to the USPS and mailed it to the newsroom. They watched and thought, oh, you're you're a hit. Just come by any day of the week, any month of the year, anytime you want, and uh we'll set up an interview. Girlby. I I I choose to believe she was winging at this scene. One of you told me before, I'll have to go back and look it up, but they said that JR was so, I guess as the show goes on, I'm assuming she's gonna stick around for a little bit. Yeah, y'all did tell me that. I think I already read it. They said that he was so like kind of intimidated by her eyes because they're so striking they are, and her makeup this episode is so cute. Also, Rebecca JG Wentworth has on a fly, fly matching pant suit. Now, I might have old lady taste, but that looks so comfortable. It is purple, it is stunning, and they did such a good job casting these women as her daughters because they do look like her, they really do. Especially what's the girl's name? Catherine. Catherine could definitely be her younger. Anyway, uh, if we're gonna talk about Rebecca JG Wentworth and Catherine Wentworth, and we've already mentioned Pam in passing just a little bit, we gotta talk about Cliff Barnes,

Cliff Barnes Smells Like Money

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who might be my very favorite Barnes. So Cliff, although he's very, very disappointed that JR is not gonna do jail time or that he didn't lose everything and Cliff didn't get to buy him out, he does get the satisfaction of owning Ewing Six, which, according to family lore, should have been Digger Barnes's first one had he not drunk away the night and signed over that entire lease to jock Ewing some 40 years ago or something like that. Well, Cliff is cool with it. Cliff is talking to his mama Rebecca in her flyplum outfit, and she says, Honey, we have been invited to the Ewing barbecue. He is loudly eating a pear, and he says, Okay, you may have been invited to the Ewing barbecue. I guarantee you they invited me because he he was there the last time. He saw the way his daddy showed his ass. He saw the way it went to hell in a handbasket quickly, and he remembers Pam falling from the rafters. He's like, nah, we definitely, I promise you, we weren't invited, at least not me. But I'm gonna go for sure. I will I'll make sure I'm gonna be there anyway. He's riding the high of having Ewing six. So what had happened was Cliff, now that he's a man and means, and now that he, not now that he, because he's always been intelligent. He is good at his research, he has done his due diligence, and he probably got the hookup, now that I'm thinking about it, from the cartel. He hired a young wildcatter who has expressed to him that he knows how to dig. He knows he didn't use the word fracking, but in modern terms, he knows how to frack. Now, this technology obviously would have been newer, not brand new, newer in the 80s, probably didn't exist at all in the 60s or before that. And today it's pretty common. So you can produce quite a bit from that, and you know, that produces all these other industries surrounding the oil industry. You got the different parts, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is I'm trying to leave out my modern mind with this, but if Cliff is able to frack and pump oil from Ewing 6, he could he could really turn his life around. He could be a cajillionaire. Now, JR, on the other hand, manages to talk to the accountant. You remember the guy that he sent on vacation while he was doing all his dirt work? That guy is back and he's none the wiser that the whole company almost wink or plunk. He has no idea yet. I guess he hadn't sat at his desk. But JR asked him about the um the revenue and the productivity of Ewing Six. And the man tells him, Oh, it's it's dry. Why do you ask? He explains that it has been sold to another party. And that guy's like, Oh, that's great. We'll just we'll just use it as a tax write-off. It was never producing anything anyway. It's actually really smart that you got rid of it. So now JR is kind of resting in that knowledge, but he doesn't realize it. Cliff and this young, really cute wildcatter are probably gonna start fracking. He's finna he's gonna be paid, if I'm understanding this correctly. Just a quick aside. During the gold rush, they said most of the people who became millionaires didn't get become millionaires off of the gold. It was the people who sold the shovels and pans and all the equipment in the oil business. Even I hope Cliff plays this right. I hope the writers did a little bit of research. Probably they did. Cliff could very easily become a millionaire from being like a transporter or buying a pipe yard or something. The equipment? Yeah, he's gonna be fine. He's gonna be fine. Well, maybe not in the 80s. I forgot about that. I don't know how that went. I'm sure there's four or five crashes in. Moving on. Cliff is on the up and up, and apparently he's starting to smell a little different. He's starting to smell like money because before you know it, he gets a phone call from Afternoon Delight. Mind you, not four or five episodes ago, she called him a total loser. And then she had to hit him up again because JR had kicked her to the curb and she wanted revenge, and now she's got to call him up and hit him up again because she can't find gainful employment. It well, let me be clear. It's not that she can't find gainful employment. She can't find gainful employment where she gets to keep her tatas in her bra. Everybody wants her chesticles out while she sings, and she just wants to sing. She wants to sing rhythm and blues over biscuits and gravy or filet mignon or whatever. She doesn't really care. As long as she gets a free meal and a stage to sing on. She's quite happy with that. She's also a lot more honest this at these last few episodes than she has been previously. He's like, she's like, okay, well, Cliff, now that you're rich, you're suddenly better looking. And um, I know you're doing a lot better. He's like, Yes, I am. I am the president of Wentworth Tool and Die. And she says, Well, that doesn't mean that I don't think you're very, you're not a very sexy and an appealing man, and I gotta think about my future. You know what I'm saying? She then goes on to explain to him that she is a sort of woman who has to align herself with a man of power and prestige. But she's not gonna just hook up with any old, grumpy, gross man. She only likes hotties when she's hooking up with old grumpy men. He's fine with that. And he's like, okay, well, you know, I got a little more power now, baby girl. Why don't you be my

Bobby’s Adoption Plan Hits Walls

SPEAKER_00 33:55

date a little later on? Dude, Bobby needs a Zanny. This is so exhausting. I'm starting to feel so bad for him. He's still doing his due diligence to now get this baby adopted or at least make sure no one else can take him. He's still being so ambiguous, though, when it comes to his friend who's a lawyer, and the dude has done a little more digging and he's like, okay, if the baby doesn't have a mother or a father, they're generally supposed to be a ward of the state, and you go through the proper avenues that way. If this baby is free and clear and like you knew the mother, but you don't know the father, then we gotta figure out who the heck the dad is because the dad actually has first claim to this baby. So I'm wondering how Bobby's gonna get out of this. It's like you can only hold the baby for so long. The doctors are already waiting patiently for the baby's shot records and stuff like that, and it's just not happening. So he can only string these people along for so long. Let's flip the script for a minute and talk about Ray Culver. Oops, oops, that's so disrespectful. I'm sorry. What's his name? Almost called him Ray Donovan. Ray Baby Oil. Come on, Jet. Come on, baby oil hat Krebs. Ray Krebs is not media trained. Why Donna Culver Krebs would think it'd be a swell idea to bring this man to an interview? I'm sure I don't know. The only explanation I can come up with is that it was at their home. So he just happened to be there and he's kind of sexy. So she's like, Yeah, honey, come outside. I want everybody to know I'm with a cowboy now. Undo the first two buttons of your shirt, like Chase, put a little baby oil on, and let's do the damn thing, okay? So the reporters are doing their job, but they're being a little bit invasive with the questioning. There's some controversy, according to them, about how

Donna’s Press Questions And Ray Melts

SPEAKER_00 35:55

Donna Culver's first husband managed to get into political offices. It seems like there's been a discrepancies with the voting and whatnot. They also felt like he became more liberal the older he got. And they say generally people become more conservative. So Donna is able to explain all this with ease. It is a breeze to her. She says, Well, yes, he opened his mind as he got older. He didn't hold in on himself. So, yes, if that's the name you want to call it, that's fine. He wouldn't have labeled himself a conservative or liberal. But she's like, Yeah, he he opened his mind. He saw different things, he changed his mind over time, which is why I put it in this best-selling book. Next question. They ask about the discrepancies with his voting. She goes, Well, I'm not sure about that, but I do know that when he served in office, he did his very best to represent all people at all times. And that is why I was able to write this smash hit of a blockbuster apple book. You can pick it up today at Barnes Noble. Next question. That's all, Mrs. Krebs. Thank you so much. While she leaves, the reporters see Ray sitting there looking on bring and they pounce. Gee golly, must be a hard act to follow. How do you like the politics, Ray? Well, I don't much do. Politicians. One of the ladies says, Sam Culver must be a hard act to follow. Why you go with what kind of sh what is what are you saying exactly, madam? That's so disrespectful. So disrespectful. Ray's just sitting there seething. There's only one way this is gonna end with Ray in the hot Texas sun, feeling all insecure and whatnot. Okay, also speaking of insecure, before we get to the barbecue, we got to talk about J. Aura. The complication of adulthood is managing those relationships like we talked about earlier. It could be the relationship you have with your hairstylist that you need to dump. It could be your nail tech guy. It could be your former mother and sister-in-law, or it could be your ex-dern husband.

JR’s Roses And Alphabet Lessons

SPEAKER_00 38:03

Sue Ellen is chilling in her fly new townhouse or house. She is enjoying the crap out of her day and her freedom. She hears a ding-dong. She's expecting deliveries. You know, she's got she's got furniture coming, she's got old things coming, she's got health coming. She opens the door without a care in the world, only to find JR with an arm full of skinny ass red roses. JR, how did you find my house? My mama told me. Damn, Ellie. Now see and Ellie. Now, Ellie, we were cool. Now I gotta call and maybe cuss you out. Maybe. Let me see how this goes. She doesn't want him in her personal space, and I totally get that. Ellie, that that's not okay. That's not okay. Not that it should be a big secret. Maybe they were gonna meet at the library to drop the baby off. I don't know how all that was gonna go. But you have taken away Sue Ellen's power of choice, and she is in a very fragile state. She has never lived alone. Anyway, J.R. waltz in and John Ross Ewing III hears his father's voice and he comes gleefully running around the corner. Daddy. Oh man, they get on the floor and they have a good old time with letter blocks. You're familiar with letter blocks, right? Usually they are blocks with letters with they're like chiseled on them. Not in this case, these are actual letters. So it's like the letter A carved out of a block, the rest of the alphabet too. It's been a long time since I owned a set of those. My kids have had a couple sets of those, and you don't know their kids with blocks. Or those magnets that you put on the fridge with spell out the alphabet. I, in my experience, of course, I'm in a different tax bracket than the Ewings. I've never had a set of alphabet letters where where you got more than two of the same letter at best. Maybe they throw in three A's, they might triple up the vowels, but the consonants, you're kind of on your own. You gotta keep, you gotta keep your language very basic and very simple because I mean they're meant for children. They're not supposed to be spelling out words like habadashery or anything with double letters. Not really. So JR gets on the floor, and I guess he's decided to turn a new leaf. He has cussed this woman out, he has embarrassed her, he's dragged her through the mud, he's boned her sister, probably her mom, if I'm guessing. All of her friends, no doubt. He decides I'm going to fight fire with fire. I'm going to kill her with kindness. He just, I just miss you, and I'm glad that you're in my life still. And she wants to know why didn't you embarrass me in court? Did you really just not do it because your mom was there? Because that's what I think. Because your mom is boy. He's like, no, no, no, no, no. I want my son to respect me when he gets older. And if I call his mama all kinds of hoes in court, he's liable to read that someday. JR was forward thinking he knew the internet would be a thing. And he's like, okay, yeah. I don't want my son to hear me totally disrespecting you. Because if he can read about that, he could probably figure out that your daddy had another baby too. But that's neither here nor there. It is time for the alphabet lesson with father and son. So JR gets on the ground with uh John Rossiw in the third, and he spells out mama, M-A-M-A. Immediately I'm like, huh, that's an expensive set of alphabets because that's that's double letters there, double letters. Okay, cool. Two A's, two M's. Got it. He then goes to spell out daddy. D A D D Y. I said, no, wait a damn minute. When have you ever bought an alphabet set and there's three D's in it? Three D's in phrase? You're joking. The last word he tells him it's most important. I'm thinking it's gonna be love. And then the other part of my brain is super basic. It's like dog. Dog. No, the word is oil. O I L. And then he L-E-A-B-E. And Swellin is sitting there looking F-U-N-N-Y. And I'm still flabbergasted that they managed to put three D's in this alphabet set. These them highfalutin 80s babies. I'm telling you that. Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached the best part of this episode. Now

The Barbecue Fashion And Entrances

SPEAKER_00 42:18

I am sad to announce that this barbecue is not nearly as controversial as a previous one. Mitch does take a little time from plastic surgeoning to come and visit Lucy. Now, Lucy has been so happy this entire episode. That's all she's talking about is that Mitch is coming. Mitch is coming. Mitch is coming, Mitch is coming. Mitch is also doing a phenomenal job being a plastic surgeon. Or junior plastic surgeon, as JR called him. And I think I'm going to call him that as well. What happens is uh that pretty lady I was telling y'all about last time, the one who seems kind of young for a facelift. I don't know what they're gonna lift. I guess she wasn't being as forthcoming. And it seems that she might have another condition. Because of Mitch's phenomenal bedside manner and the conversations he's having with her and as she's opening up, he he's starting to recognize a few patterns that she she's sort of a heavy bleeder, she gets a lot of nosebleeds, she gets this and that and all the time. And he, it's not that he's concerned that she's going to die, but he's like, okay, wait a minute, we're missing something. This is where all of that research history comes into play and it works really well for his new profession. So he goes to Dr. Chick and Bone Jones and he breaks it down and says, you know, that 38-year-old woman who thinks she's going to get a facelift, I think she might have blasé blase disease. He's like, Oh, word. Mitch lays it out. Dr. Chick and Bone Jones, like, damn, no, no, no. I think you're right. I think you're absolutely right. I'm so glad I didn't slice and dice of her perfectly fine, non stretchable face. Let's hold off on the surgery until further notice. Because of Mitch's groundbreaking discovery and his trustworthiness and his Good bedside manner and his overall eagerness to be a phenomenal doctor. He, of course, can't hang out at the barbecue for too long. But it doesn't matter because the rest of the people show up, y'all, and I can't hardly wait to talk about it. The first people we see pull up in a Mercedes Benz is my girl Sue Ellen Ewing in a denim dress, deep V-neck. She's got the lady bolo. You know what I'm saying? She's got the poof. So it's like a prairie dress, but it's denim. I love it. She hops out the front seat holding John Ross Ewing III. My nerves go through the roof, but I'm like, you know what, Jet? It's okay. Babies weren't precious in 1982. Ride in the front seat to hell with a seatbelt, sit in the lady's lap. No one cares. Well, she is driven by none other than Big Fine Dusty Daddy himself. I love the boldness of this man. He wants to come to the barbecue because he wants to see Jock Ewing to his face. Now, I wonder what he really wants to say to Jock, but I think he likes Miss Ellie. He likes Kiki and with Miss Ellie, if nothing else. Well, turns out it's a very small world because the car behind them is Cliff. Let me make sure I got that right. I think it's Cliff Barnes and um Rebecca. Let me double check. Yeah, it's Cliff, his mama, and his sister, Catherine. I couldn't remember if Afton had shown up with him or not. I guess she's already there because she's she's technically family. I forgot to mention this part too. Oh, God, I'm so excited. Nobody's snorkered just yet. Clayton Farlow, aka Big Fine Daddy, showed up with Sue Ellen, talking about he wants to meet Jock. And JR's like, well, is that the only reason you came? Clayton Barlow says, No, I once I figured out Sue Ellen was coming by herself, I thought I might should show up with her. JR says, Oh, you're protecting her from me? Clayton Barlow says, Well, I've been protecting her so far. Basically saying, JR, if you want some, come get some. You want to start something? Let's do something. Don't let that, don't let the age fool you. That dude's got paws. He's got those big old jock hands too. He'd probably knock you the next Thursday. But it's such a small world. Guess who he knows? Rebecca. Rebecca. JG Wentworth gets out the back of the car and she looks and she said, I know that ain't Clayton. What's up, B? What's up, Becky? Him and Becky go way, way back. They real, real good friends. He's like, You want to cut a rug, darling? She says, Let's cut a rug. And they get on the floor and they start dancing. They're having a good time. Okay, so we are led to believe that Pam is not willing to go downstairs because she wants to spend all her time with baby Christopher. And I don't blame her. He is so chunky and cute. He is precious. Her sister comes upstairs and they play with the baby just for a minute. But I'm watching this little heifer like a hawk. I don't like the way she's looking Bobby up and down, down enough. She got a thing for Bob. I can tell. Bobby's getting cuter to me too as time goes by. He is. It's because he's getting older. I think that's what it is for me. You can't look like a young man. Like you need to look like a grown, grown man for me. And since nobody on these shows has beards, sometimes I have to remind myself. Like he's he's probably 34, but in my head, he's I don't know. I don't know. He looks a little young. She's looking him up and down, down and up. That baby is so dang cute. Give her a second. I'm like, I don't think that's strange. It's a loud, hot barbecue. She's been in an insane asylum for a little bit. She probably just needs a little time to acclimate. Give her her space. Let's be cool about it, okay? It behoove me not to tell you all that this is the most Chase Giobi chesticle-bearing episode of Dallas thus far. Surprisingly, Ray V. Krebs does not have his whole chest out. But do you know who does? Cliff. I didn't know Cliff didn't own anything outside of a suit jacket. I don't think I've ever seen him without four or five pieces of clothing on. He is feeling very sexy. He must have just watched Saturday Night Fever or something because he comes out with the bell bottoms. He got on a tight, and I'm talking Gary Ewing tight shirt. He got his buttons done. Chase, dear Birdie Low. His chest is greasy. He is feeling himself, y'all. I don't know what happened. Ray is buttoned all the way up with a bolo tie, but he's drunk as a skunk. And all that's running through his mind is, um, I'm not a real Ewing. I lost a million dollars. Actually, I didn't lose any money. I broke even. Oh, phooey, my wife's rich and she's talented and she writes bestsellers. And she comes up with this lovely older gentleman who wants to chat with Ray, but he embarrasses the ish out of Donna. He throws egg in her face by walking off with some little pop tart to go dance right in front of Donna and her grand. He's offended because now she's got a political scene. He's actually wearing a baby shower reveal shirt where it's an urgent reveal shirt. It's like pink and blue, pink and blue. He's just acting a fool this whole episode. So now he's gonna go rubbing up and down on Tony, embarrassing that girl. Her friend is like, girl, you gonna let that be? You that's how y'all get down here? I ain't gonna lie, this band is kind of popping. They got a live land. Everybody's having a real good time. Ray is continuing to get drunk on the dance floor. And good

Dance Floor Drama And Court Judge

SPEAKER_00 49:20

sister Catherine, I don't like her. I don't like her. I don't think I've liked her from the moment she stepped on this show. She's asking all these questions about Pam. I guess they seem innocent enough, but they don't see innocent enough. I know why it is. Because I have been watching Knott's Landing and she's giving me Abby vibes. It's not just the eyes, it is the I'm I'm planning something and I'm gonna hit up one of these dumb Ewings who don't really know what's up. Now, Bobby and his chest hairs get interrupted, thank God, by a guy with a sweet reindeer bolo tie. I've never in my years of living seen anything like that. But this man with the reindeer bolo tie happens to be a county judge and he heard about the baby and he's like, yeah, I'm probably gonna see you and Pam in court. I'm the guy who's over the all of the adoptions and whatnot. I think this is Bobby's opportunity to figure this whole thing out. I just don't know if it's wise. My only complaint about this scene is that the the extras in Dallas are not as good as the extras on Dynasty. Allow me to explain. You can tell they're probably a little bit starstruck by this point because there's a scene where Clayton and Rebecca are talking to each other, and you can see a guy in the background just staring at them. Like he's supposed to be pretending to be at the party, he's totally just staring at them. There's a couple dancing on the dance floor where they're just staring at whoever's talking. They're not really mingling and it it doesn't pull you out of the scene, it's just a little bit distracting. I guess you could be ear hustling too. Yeah, Cliff got on a uh an unbuttoned shirt. Did I mention he has on a gold chain? He's got on a gold chain, and JR has got on a NASCOT, so I guess it's a brand new day in Dallas. Okay, let's wrap this hair party up. Afton comes and she wants to dance with Cliff because now he has money. She also wants to make JR jealous, but he doesn't really give a damn. And he tells her as much. He's like, Well, Misery loves company. Y'all look y'all look great together. You look absolutely miserable and wonderful together. But that is very short-lived. Cliff is out on the on the dance floor boogie-woogieing with Afton, who has baby breath in her hair, when he sees Sue and come out in that denim prairie dress, and that's all she wrote. He got to dance with her. Are we gonna start this up again? Surely not. Surely not. This girl just got her own apartment. Let it be. It's a good thing too that he pulls her in for the dance because she's upset she'd just gone upstairs to that fever dream of a nursery. And JR walked in and asked her if she missed it. And she goes, Yeah, I've always loved this nightmare of a nursery. He goes, No, no, no, do you miss it? And he puts his hand on her face and he's looking all in her eyes. And before you know it, you can you can see her sort of melting into him. And then she snaps out of it. She realizes, oh gosh, she gets upset with him, but it's like she's probably more upset with herself that it's that easy. There's just something about him that draws her in each and every time. But she knows the quickest way to get over JR is to get on with somebody else. So she starts dancing with the Bee Gees version of Cliff Barnes, which I'm here for. He could be the Seabees. The He B jeebies. Okay, so probably most important scene: Clayton Barlow, Rebecca, and Miss Ellie are chilling underneath a yellow and white tent at a barbecue, which is prime real estate. They are 100% in the shade. You can tell they're throwing shade. They're laughing, they're having cocktails, they're having a good old time. Lucy comes out of the house and says, uh, there's uh somebody on the phone for you. Ellie

Jock Missing The Party Freezes

SPEAKER_00 53:06

goes in. Meanwhile, everybody's outside dancing to hoe down music, probably the same music that Digger Barnes was dancing to. Next time you see her, she is Oh my god, she's frozen. She's holding the phone at her waist and she's trying to catch her breath. JR had been upstairs on the balcony watching Sue Ellen dance. He was disgusted, so he came downstairs. Ellie explains to the audience and JR that Jock was flying from the interior by helicopter and his plane crashed. They have been looking for Jock all day. They can't find him, they can't find anything at all. Everybody's given up and they're saying that he is dead. But I'm not doing this scene justice. As entertaining as the rest of the episode has been. Oh my god. It is so devastating. It is devastating. I cried two times. You know that doesn't take much for me. But she, you can feel her pain. It is palpable. And I know she's a damn good actress. I know she's a mighty fine actress. I think this might be one of the first times where they actually get to express the loss of Jim Davis on camera. Absolute pure perfection. I'm starting to suspect that the Ewing barbecues are gonna be pretty pop. This is the first one they've had in a long time, but oh man. Tour de Force. Only thing I can say about that. Tour de Force, beautiful scene. Absolutely heart-wrenching, absolutely devastating. End scene. That is a lot to take in, y'all. We're gonna jump into another primetime soap opera next. So make sure you join us next time. The highs and lows, that's life. This episode was no different. This was an exceptional episode. Things are really cooking up. We got Catherine in town giving Bobby big O eyes. I guess Cliff Barnes is on his BGs. He's about to roll into some money, if I'm right. Pam is settling deep into motherhood, but is she in too deep? Wellin is expressing and experiencing independence for the first time. Will it last? Bobby may or may not be slipping into something he can't pull himself out of. I just don't really know. I don't know what the workaround is unless he somehow says he's a baby's dad. I you would you would think, I guess it's possible, maybe it's not possible, but it is very possible that he could have the same blood type as JR. I feel like that would have come up already if that was the case, but man, this is getting good. And and Jock has been announced as either missing and or dead this episode. So we'll have to see where they go from here. All

Wrap Up And Listener Messages

SPEAKER_00 55:56

right, guys. Don't forget that you can reach out to me in the show notes. Absolutely adore hearing from you. You can send me a text by clicking that link. You can even send a voicemail by clicking the exact same link. Or if you want to get into it a little longer, you got a lot to say. Or you can reach out to me at open podcast at gmail.com. That's S O A P L O R E O D O S E and Gmail.com. In the meantime, is demo things in the ground that we need demo download, but I don't know these on the title of the point.